Never Doubt This
by KatRoyal
Summary: <html><head></head>How can one love a man who was in love with her sister? Lucy cannot deny her feelings, but when she is thrown back into Narnia she finds that there is someone who will stop at nothing to kill the one she's fallen in love with. Nothing will stand in the Warrior Queen's way. Not even a sister's hate.</html>
1. Maybe I Don't Want it to Be

**Chapter has been re-edited.**

**Have fun reading my story old and new readers alike!**

_**Chapter 1- Maybe I Don't Want it to Be**_

Lucy's POV

I stood in my small borrowed bedroom at my aunt and uncles staring unseeingly out the window. I was thinking about Narnia, about what Aslan had said after our departure, this time with Eustace in tow.

I couldn't help myself when I said mentally. "_Aslan?" _I wanted to go back, it seemed we had only been there a few moments and yet I knew it had been weeks, closer to a month actually.

_It was the last time, Lucy! _I said to myself. _Just stop thinking about it. _I tried to force my thoughts elsewhere unsuccessfully. I couldn't deny it.

I missed Narnia.

Everything about it, and everyone there. Immediately the name _Caspian_ came to my mind almost like someone had whispered his name in my ear. I shook my head to dislodge _that _particular thought. One person in Narnia I had well tried to quit thinking about.

Should I even bother saying I hadn't succeeded in that area either?

I felt a familiar pang as I remembered what he'd said on the Dawn Treader when I'd asked if he'd found a queen for himself.

_None to rival your sister. _He'd said, that smile of his taking me in fully, my real question unbeknownst to him.

I frowned at my self-pitying self. I didn't usually do this.

Mostly nowadays when I found myself feeling like that, I'd take a walk, letting the fresh country air calm my thoughts. It didn't work all the time, but sometimes it did.

It also seemed every time I started to feel that way it was because of boys.

Yes, boys.

I am not, by any means boy-crazy, even if every single time I go to the market and see girls flirting with boys, some younger than I, seeing some girls kiss their loves goodbye as they head off to fight when I pass the train station.

But never once has one young man ever looked at me.

Back in Narnia it had been the same, the suitors that came were more likely to be Susan's, than mine. How is that supposed to make me feel?

Sure, I know I'm not really beautiful, I'm the cute one. Always just cute. I am okay with that, I made peace with it on the Dawn Treader. Not seeing myself among my siblings and they not acting as if I even existed. It had scared me and Aslan had let me realize what would have happened without me.

So I was okay with not being beautiful. And Aslan knows, this probably seems very similar to that situation, but it's not. Not really. I just kind of wanted a young man to notice me for once, for well..._me_.

A tomboyish-more-likely-to-fight-alongside-my-brothers-during-a-war-kind- of- girl.

And truthfully it was not just some accidental meeting with a young man I wanted to notice me, it was a King. A king I had left behind. This time for good.

I was 16 now, Susan had suitors when she was fourteen and she hadn't even had her coming out yet.

I wasn't jealous of my sister, I didn't want one of her young men, I just wanted the unattainable one I could never have and even if I could...I paused in my tumbling thoughts.

_He's in love with Susan, _I rolled my eyes Heavenward_. Okay, perhaps I am slightly jealous. And blind too. I'm just like a sister to him._

I was so caught up in this dialogue with myself that I didn't hear somebody approaching me from behind.

"Lucy?" The person asked.

I jerked, startled out of my thoughts.

The person, which, as I turned, I learned was my cousin Eustace, said again.

"Lu?"

I gave him a half smile. "What is it Eustace?"

He seemed to study my expression briefly, his brow slightly crinkled as if he were thinking something. "Ed was looking for you; he said something about you getting into his chocolate box...?" He said the last part as a question, raising his eyebrows questioningly. "He isn't happy."

I laughed. The first time in what seemed like an eternity.

"I am quite sure I _don't _know what you're talking about." I couldn't help myself, I grinned playfully.

Last night I couldn't sleep, (it was _that _time of the month) and I really wanted something sweet. But I, however, was not about to explain all that to either my cousin or my brother!

Eustace joined me in my laughter. "Well, I dare say he should lay off the bloody things. Perhaps it was a favor done out of kindness, Lu?" He suggested with a broad smile.

I was about to return the smile when an annoyed sounding Edmund spoke up, "Talking about me behind my back, are you?"

Seeing my brother's scowl, I shook my head quickly. "Ed it wasn't like that, I promise!"

His scowl deepened and for a moment and I was reminded of our first time in Narnia when he had met the White Witch.

He looked at my face for a moment and I thought I saw a slightly puzzled look cross his aristocratic features right before he said.

"Gotcha, Lu." He grinned then.

I rolled my eyes as both young men burst out laughing.

"You didn't actually think I'd be _that _mad did you?" Edmund asked me with the same puzzled expression I'd seen just a moment before. "I mean it's just chocolate."

Annoyed at myself for being so transparent, I just shook my head. "Not really, Ed." I balled my fist and socked him in the shoulder for good measure though. Teasingly, of course. "I was just thinking about something, and I was...distracted."

I saw Edmund glance at Eustace and a look passed between the two.

"Hey! What-?"

Before I could get my protest out, Eustace nodded his head at me.

"I have to head back, Mother will be wondering where we've all went." And he darted off leaving me with no chance to reply.

I swung around to look at Ed. Gesturing after Eustace with my hand. "What was that all about?" It came out a little angrily.

_What is my problem? _

Ed just said, "Nothing." He waved at me to follow him. "Come on. Let's walk down to the bridge before it gets dark." He was referring to this positively ancient wooden thing that looks like it will fall if you breathe on it wrong.

Instead of arguing I followed him, curious now as to what the problem was.

As we walked a thought struck me. _Peter, Susan!_

"Hey, Ed!" I had been lagging behind but now I picked up my feet and shot up beside him. "Ed is something wrong?" I asked, breathless from my sudden dash.

He looked at me in surprise. "No, of course not, what gave you that idea?"

I frowned a little. _What then? _"You're acting all funny." I said bluntly instead of dragging it out.

He stopped then and turned to look at me full on. "I'm acting strange, Lu?" He paused and I nodded. "What about you?" He shot back.

I took a step away in complete surprise. I wasn't acting that badly, was I? Of course I'd been a little grouchy and a little homesick and maybe a little jealous of Susan and...okay so I had been a bit of a brat lately. Who knew I had it in me?

But Ed wasn't finished yet. "You've been acting strange since we left Narnia," And stopping between each word to emphasize his point he said. "Three. Whole. Months. Ago."

I held my hands up to stop his visual of my behavior of the last three months.

"Ed, I told you I was just missing Mum and Daddy, and Peter, Susan!" I protested.

He shook his head vehemently. "No, it's not just that. You miss Narnia, I get that!" When I started to speak he cut me off. "Listen Lu, you may not think I understand but I really do. I miss Narnia too," His voice softened some. "I wish we could go back but this is our home now."

He reached out and touched my arm, prodding me to look him in the eye.

I forced myself to. And regardless of my efforts to hold them back when I looked at him I felt the telltale burning in my eyes and a lump forming in the back of my throat of tears barely being controlled.

If he noticed, he ignored it. "Lu, this is our home." He said firmly and I bit my lip.

And finally said something.

"What if I don't want it to be?" I sucked in a sharp breath, shocked at my own words. _No, I don't really mean that. _But part of me did feel that way.

In my heart I spoke to Aslan.

_Aslan, I don't __**want **__to leave Mum, Daddy, Peter, Susan, or Ed but I feel like I can't breathe here anymore, like there's nothing more for me here. Please, help me. Please. _I pleaded in my heart with the great lion.

Ed just stared at me saying nothing at all. That made me feel guilty most of all. He didn't seem shocked. He seemed less shocked at my own words than I had.

"Ed, no, I didn't mean it like that." But he just waved off my words.

"I think you did." His words made me cringe.

"Ed I- I-" My voice wavered.

"Lucy, it's okay, I get it."

I stepped forward then. "No, it's not Ed." I snapped. He tried to stop me again but I plowed on. "I don't want to leave you and- and everyone but I feel like I'm-" I stopped of my own accord then, not sure if he'd _really_ understand.

The next thing he did really shocked me. Edmund, my brother, reached out and hugged me. I returned it fully. He didn't release me. "You feel useless."

I blinked. I hadn't really expected him to get it. But maybe he did. I looked up into his face and for a brief moment I saw a reflection of the same sorrowful boy Aslan had rescued from the White Witch.

Maybe he did.

_**Review, pretty please!**_


	2. Perfectly Horrible

**This chapter has been re-edited.**

**Chapter 2- Perfectly Horrible**

Ed pulled away after a moment but kept his hand on my shoulder.

"Lu?"

I tilted my head back to look him in the face. "Yes?"

He didn't reply at first but finally he shrugged and looked embarrassed as if this show of emotions bothered him. _Which it probably did. _I thought.

He said. "You do know that you can't _actually_ go back, right Lu?"

I scowled at him. "Thanks for pointing that out, Ed." I shoved my hair back out of my face so he could really see my expression.

"Really, I didn't know that."

Ed held up both hands, holding off my tirade. "Hey, hey, I was just making sure..." He hesitated a moment before saying. "I don't want you to keep hoping like this to go back, not when He said we couldn't."

I softened slightly. "Really, Ed, I get it. It's just harder to keep busy here, especially since Susan and Peter," Saying my eldest brother's name brought back the last memory I had of him and by far, one of the most vivid. Him going off to fight, I knew Ed would be there if he could, but he wasn't old enough. Not that that had stopped him from trying. My voice quivered a second before finishing. "Aren't here." Peter's name brought that memory back and I sent a prayer out for his safety.

Everything just seemed more boring without our elder siblings with us.

I looked up at the sky. It was darkening to a vibrant golden violet. I smiled despite everything. It seemed like some kind of answer to my prayers, though I wasn't quite sure why.

Maybe it was because at that very minute it was a kind of perfect.

"Let's start back Ed, I didn't know it had gotten so late." I whispered, so as not to break the peaceful quiet.

I heard him mutter something in reply but couldn't understand him. He was probably still embarrassed by our conversation. I was almost tempted to tease him about it, but I didn't. I just allowed a flicker of my previous smirk to cover my lips.

Right before we stepped in the door of our Uncle's house he stopped me by touching my arm again.

I didn't say anything, just waited for whatever it was he wanted to say, knowing from experience that at moments like these it was just better to have patience. Peter was the one who had a way with words, not Ed.

He stared at the setting sun in the sky for a long moment. He looked like he was arguing with himself; I wondered if that's what I had looked like earlier.

_How unattractive. _I thought with a small grin, that's what Susan would've said to me and we would have giggled about it that night while making ridiculous faces at each other.

I really did miss my sister.

Now, I was getting impatient. Exactly how long was I going to have to wait on Edmund to say something?

But when I turned around to ask him that very question, I saw he had disappeared into the house.

My brow creased with a little annoyance but I shrugged it away.

_It's probably nothing._

_**~X~X~X~X~X~**_

**(One week later)**

Everything was going perfectly normal today. I got up, got dressed, did all the perfectly normal things a girl does in the morning.

In the afternoon, Eustace and I had to run to the market to pick up some cheese for supper.

Little did I know everything was about to change. And I was about to get my wish in the most unexpected way.

"Eustace!" I called out. He had left me when he'd spotted a friend, calling out a quick excuse so he wouldn't be caught shopping. Shopping was a woman's job. Can you imagine? That would have just been too embarrassing to live down among his friends.

You don't want to know what I thought of it. I'd have liked to have gotten a hold of my daggers right then.

"Where are you Eustace?" I called out again.

Now I was left to determine whether I should leave and go back to the house or wait for him. "Dratted, Eustace." I muttered under my breath.

I stood tapping my shoe in the dust for a while. Minutes slid by and I yawned widely. That is, until I felt somebody's gaze on me. I cut the yawn off abruptly and snapped my head around to see who was watching me.

Expecting to see Eustace, I had a scowl and couple of sharp words prepared, but what I saw shocked every word out of me. A young man, who looked to be a few years older than I, was looking at me.

I blinked, it was the only thing I could do. He was _looking _at _**me**_.

I was horrified.

Is that normal I ask you? A boy looks at you and you lose every coherent thought in your head. I gulped in a breath of air and shook my head slightly to shake myself out of my paralyzed state, knowing I probably looked ridiculous, and as if this were all perfectly normal to me, I turned back to the tall, dark-haired young man and smiled at him.

Yes, I smiled at him. Perhaps a little too widely to be an effortless-I-do-this-all-the-time, flirty smile.

I actually took a step towards him, my mouth opening to say something. And I am proud to say I got out a, "Hello."

The young man smiled back. Can you imagine my elation? I felt a blush redden my normally paleish cheeks.

And then it was ruined. Perfectly ruined. In fact I shouldn't even use 'perfectly' in that same sentence. More like horribly ruined.

You must be wondering what happened.

**So what do you think happened? Is it really all **_**that **_**horrible? I know this chapter is short but I wanted to leave it w/ a cliffhanger. So if you want to know what happens...REVIEW! ;) **


	3. Unexpected Visitors

**This chapter has been re-edited.**

**Chapter 3- Unexpected Visitors**

Well, what happened?

The young man stepped forward almost simultaneously as I did.

Disbelieving that this was actually real. I started to stick my hand out and introduce myself.

"Hello," I said again. _I cannot believe I just said that again. _I thought, slightly mortified. "I'm Lucy Pevensie." And I smiled at him _again._ But at least I had gotten the words out. And its nice to smile at people, isn't it?

The young man grinned right back at me and took my hand in his, bowing lightly before kissing it. His hand felt warm and soft. It felt, _nice, _I decided.

Even if it meant he was probably a young man from the city, not that I had anything against young men from the city. I mean I come from a little city but I guess I'm rather partial to a man having rougher hands than your own, it shows he's a hard worker.

_Like Caspian._ A little voice at the back of my head said. I grimaced and forced my annoying, arguing self away.

Anyway the young man with the nice hands said. "It is quite a pleasure, Lucy." He didn't use my last name. It felt strange, almost more intimate, like we had known each other longer than a couple of moments.

His words made a new bright red blush rise up my neck and make its way to my cheeks.

I _probably look like a strawberry, _crossed my mind.

I nodded that I was indeed pleased too, more than he I was sure, for a very different reason than he, though, undoubtedly. "It is nice to meet you too."

He replied back instantly. "Oh, but it truly is my pleasure,"

A little frown made its way into my entirely too vibrant smile and a little niggling began in the back of my mind that I ignored. I guess he didn't notice my confusion as he continued.

"You see, Lucy, I have heard so much about you. I feel as if we are indeed already acquainted."

This time I frowned in earnest and said, rather abruptly. "Just who _are _you? I am quite sure I've never seen you around here before." And I hadn't, I would've remembered his accent. His voice was a little deeper than Eustace's but more heavily accented, he didn't sound English though.

My flirty smile had by this time (or what I thought was my flirty smile) almost completely melted from my face as I waited for him to respond. I crossed my arms.

He looked taken aback for a moment. "Oh pardon me, I hadn't meant to be rude. You see my name is Thomas Delega." He recovered from my accusing question. Then raising a brow a little he waited.

It dawned on me that he was expecting me to recognize his name. But I didn't. I hastily scanned my mind for not only his name, but a response. Coming up with nothing I stated rather more calmly than I thought possible for me.

"A pleasure, Thomas."

Still that same niggling became stronger. His name _did _sound vaguely familiar, but from where I didn't know. And how did he know me?

Thomas Delega seeming to read my mind, said. "You truly do not know who I am, do you?"

The blush in my cheeks deepened, but I pressed my lips together and shook my head, no. He just smiled.

I noticed his lips were rather thin and pale pink. _Unlike Ca-_- I cut my observation off short.

I was not about to compare the two, how ridiculous.

I realized I'd been staring at him a little too long as I hadn't seen him offer me his arm.

"Then perhaps Lucy, you would like to take a stroll with me. So we can become," he paused as if thinking hard, though I had a feeling he knew exactly what he'd wanted to say. "Friends, perhaps." He suggested pleasantly.

I started to refuse his arm, but knew better and took it. _This could end up being rather fun,_ I supposed. "You mean you won't tell me how you know me without me walking with you?" I guessed.

He didn't speak, just smilingly reached for my hand again and placing it on his arm, we started walking.

I hesitated a little as we went, as I try not to make a habit of walking with strange men.

_Not, _I thought. _That I've ever had any young men offer to go walking with me._

"Tell me, Thomas," I voiced my question again. "Just how do you know me?"

He glanced at me, his gaze lingering longer than it had any right to. It made me blush again.

"Your family has told me much about you." He left it at that, like I was supposed to understand.

I was just starting to form another question when he added.

"Your brother speaks very highly of you."

I'm sure my face was twisted in confusion again, but I said anyway. "I am afraid Ed hasn't mentioned you, how do you know him?"

Thomas laughed a little at that. "I am sorry I had forgotten you have two brothers, I'm speaking of Peter." He paused, looking for some sign of recognition on my face.

I had no idea, Peter had never mentioned him. Or at least I thought he hadn't.

Thomas continued, "You see we used to fight together."

I felt a spark of fear at his words. _Used to. _Those two words struck so much fear in me that it felt a little hard to breathe.

"Peter is he a-alright?" I managed shakily.

Seeing he'd given me a scare, Thomas laid a hand on my arm. "I apologize again, Lucy. I did not mean to scare you; your brother is well, here in fact." I gaped at him. Then, grinning handsomely. "It seems your beauty must have rendered me absolutely witless today."

I ducked my head, embarrassed. _There is no way he just said that to me__**. **_

And I am quite sorry to say I bought his words. As his words about my eldest brother sank in though, I asked. "Where exactly is my-"

I was cut off by a pair of arms wrapping around my waist. I tried to jerk away; startled I pulled my elbow back to fend off the sudden attack. But my attacker just laughed and with the ease of someone who's spent a lifetime in the same household with me, easily blocked my jab.

"Is that any way to treat your brother?"

I spun around. "Peter!" I grinned. "What are you doing here?" I was beyond confused by now. "How did you get here? What are you doing with someone as elegant as Thomas?" I spat my questions at him a mile a minute.

He addressed the last one first. "Exactly what is that supposed to mean?" Arching a kingly eyebrow in his best 'I am a king, treat me as such' expression.

Laughingly, I shook my head. "Not your usual type of company."

We headed off towards our Uncle's just moments later, Peter with one arm slung around my shoulders and one around Thomas's like we were all old chums.

_Like I'm one of the boys._ The thought annoyed me but I said nothing, Peter wouldn't understand it.

Peter was the first to break our companionable silence.

"So, Lucy, how's life with our loveable cousin Eustace?"

I smiled despite myself. "Oh, he's been..." I paused searching for a suitable word, realizing that even though I'd written about how much Eustace had changed, I had not relayed our adventures about Narnia, for the simple reason that if my letter had been intercepted they might find out about Narnia. More than likely they would have put it aside as rubbish but I had not wanted to take that chance, so Peter and Susan did not know about our latest adventure.

_And Susan doesn't know we saw Caspian again. _The thought made me feel a little giddy that I'd seen Caspian and Susan hadn't, though I knew it was probably wrong of me.

And feeling a little pang of guilt, thought. _I'm sorry Aslan. _

Finally thinking of a word that was indeed suitable for our cousin, I finished my sentence. "Nothing less than exciting." My eyes sparkled with the knowledge of our adventure with our cousin. Especially with the knowledge that he'd changed so much. That most of all. And Caspian.

Peter was studiously looking at my face. "Just what does that look mean?" He asked teasingly.

"From that look I'd think you had a secret, Lu." And releasing Thomas to grab both my hands and pull me into a rollicking, half walk, half dance and taunting me like we were little again. "Lu has a secret! Lucy has a secret! Lucy Pev-"

Thomas all the while was watching us amusedly. Finally dizzy from Peter's wild antics I pulled my hand from his grasp and asked part teasingly, part accusingly. "Just what have you been doing overseas all this time, dancing in the taverns, havin' a grand ole time?"

A second later I regretted my accusation as I watched Peters eyes darken when he settled back into a walk beside Thomas and me.

I hurriedly added, "I actually do have a secret Peter." Wishing to see the light expression back on my brother's face.

The dark look didn't vanish completely but he smiled back at me. "And what might that be, Lu?"

"Maybe I won't tell you." I taunted him a little.

"Then I suppose I'll have to bribe Ed." He reached into his pocket and brought back a handful of coins. "Do you suppose this will do?" He questioned me laughingly.

"Don't bother wasting your money," I rolled my eyes. "He'd have bribed somebody to let him take their place in the-" I hesitated at mentioning the war again because I didn't wish to see that faraway look in his eyes again. "Service." I finished.

Peter raised his eyebrows. "Is that so?"

I nodded and seeing the blank look that accompanied his words I quickly changed the subject.

"Peter, why exactly did Thomas show up before you did?" I asked this question because my earlier experience still seemed a little odd.

I saw a guilty hand-in-the-cookie-jar look cross his face.

"Oh no, what did you do?" I demanded.

"It was nothing Lu, just a little fun." He reached to sling his arm back around me; I shrugged it off and turned to face him full on with my hands perched on my hips.

"What _did _you _do_?"

I heard him exhale a breath. "Well, I might have, perhaps, you know-"

"Spit it out Peter." I ordered.

"You know how it is; I kind of made a little wager, sort of." He nodded, finished, like it was nothing.

I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, out of my face. "What wager, Peter?" And once again casting an accusatory look, except this time at Thomas. "What did he make you wager?" I asked archly.

Thomas' face reddened. "Well I, he just," He mumbled in response.

I swung around seeing Peter move like he wanted to run for it. "Speak one of you, what was the wager about?"

Peter finally said. "Lu, it was nothing," He glanced meaningfully at our guest like I was supposed to just drop it and act like a lady in front of him. "Just some fun." He said again and seeing my annoyance adding. "We'll talk about it later."

I stopped in the middle of the road then, planting my feet firmly in the dirt.

"No, Peter, I'm afraid we will not." I said as politely as that sentence could be under the circumstances. "What was it about?" I asked with finality.

I saw him glance at Thomas again and he reached out to pull me back into a walk.

"It was just-"

Thomas spoke up for the first time. "Peter just wanted to see if I could get you to come with me."

He flashed a charming smile that nearly worked on me. Nearly.

"Just how is that something to wager on?" I was confused.

Peter tried this time. "You see, Thomas here, was bragging that all the young ladies would do anything just to speak with him and I dared him to try it on you," He paused for breath.

Thomas took over. "And he said it wouldn't work." This was said with a dazzling smile even while the tone of his voice was condescending.

I felt a flush creeping up my cheeks again, this time in anger. I was starting to understand exactly _why _Thomas had said those things and why he'd flirted shamelessly with a girl he'd only just met.

He had not lied, I figured, he'd heard about me from Peter no doubt.

Peter spoke then to break an awkward silence. "It was all in good fun, Lu. Just a welcome back from your long lost brother," he glanced at me. "I never thought you'd…" He quit talking then.

_Go ahead and say it, _I seethed. _You didn't think I'd fall for it._

Peter looked me up and down a moment before saying. "Seems like a lot has changed since I've been gone."

I ignored the assumption that all I cared about was young men and kept walking. I was mad at my brother and he'd only just returned from the war.

Getting revenge on him was not exactly how I'd planned his return.


	4. I'm Not Sorry

_**Chapter 4-I'm Not Sorry**_

We entered my uncles house shortly after I'd quit speaking to my brother and his oh so lovely companion.

And Peter being Peter had soon after quit trying to get a response out of me probably figuring it would be better to let me cool down first. He had just thrown his trademark 'We _will _talk about this later' look to which I promptly stuck my tongue out at.

However childish that may seem, I have never claimed to be the one with manners either, no that was Susan, with good reason, no doubt.

You must be wondering what happened to so ruin my day, other than my brother and Thomas' uncouth humor, well you're about to find out.

So we'd entered my uncle's house and I'd swept past my brother and Thomas without a second thought. Like everything was perfectly usual I called out my usual greeting.

"Aunt, I'm back with your cheese." I paused, no answer. "Uncle I have brought your newspaper in." And for my dear cousin I called rather sweetly as I hurried up the stairs leaving my unexpected visitors behind.

And out of hearing distance.

"When I get my hands on you I'll-" I searched for a suitable punishment for leaving me stranded in town to my brothers' devices, he'd probably been in on it, truth be told. "I'll tear that wretched book of yours to pieces!" I exclaimed.

To some my threat might have sounded petty but I knew how much he adored that book.

And yet again I was about to get another surprise.

My Aunts voice called out rather stiffly. "Just who _are _you talking to young lady?"

I blinked, rapidly trying to come up with an answer to cover my error until a tinkling laugh cut short my scrambling thoughts and a too sweet voice said.

"Oh its quite all right Aunt, I am still quite accustomed to Lucy's behavior even after her absence." An angel's voice, hers had been called.

_You mean __**your **__absence. _I thought a little scathingly, not so much as it might have been if I'd not been back to Narnia again.

_And seen Caspian again._ Went the direction of my thoughts even with my efforts to keep them under control.

And even with Susan's first insult on her arrival about my behavioral issues, I still felt joy welling up in me to see her again.

It really had been a long time.

Once again though I was left to wonder at my brother and sisters unexpected arrival. No word ahead of time or anything. You see this would count as rude in my sister's etiquette book. I'd have to ask her about that.

Right then my aunt and sister rounded the corner coming out of my bedroom.

_I guess we know where Susan's sleeping now. _I thought with a little agitation, they could have at least asked me instead of just _expecting _it.

Susan smiled delicately at me and despite her being an annoyance to me already I launched myself at her hugging her fiercely. I really had missed her more than I thought.

Laughing Susan returned my embrace before pulling back to look me over.

"You've grown into a young woman Lu!" She exclaimed like she'd never pictured me as such before. Or seen me as one for that matter. What was the difference between our first reign then in Narnia and now?

_It was bound to happen eventually. _I didn't say this aloud.

Susan gestured for me to turn in a circle so she could fully look at me. I shrugged and complied without voicing my complaints.

Susan looked on studying my figure as she shook her pretty brown curls in delight, cupping her hands over her red lips covering her giggles before saying excitedly.

"Lucy you really have grown-" She paused a moment, long enough for me to say.

"You just said that Su."

Ignoring me and adding insult to her observations. "Except for your height, of course."

I scowled. And she got a mischievous look in her eyes and addressed my earlier sarcasm.

"Oh I just meant you now have some _assets _now". She pressed her hand to her bosom lightly to emphasize the not-so-subtle point that I do indeed have a chest and waistline now.

I felt my face flush in anger. "You know Su," I said stiffly. "I would hope that young men would be interested in _me _for myself and not in my," I paused and said rather hotly. "_Assets."_

Susan didn't seem to notice my real anger; she just tucked my hand into the crook of her arm and said over her shoulder to my aunt who still stood by, watching our exchange with a smug little grin.

"Would you mind terribly if we could have a while to catch up before supper?" The mischief now back in her eyes. "I'd like to enquire of my sisters suitors."

My aunt shot me a warning glance before I could say something to that and replied back. "Oh Lucy has not had any suitors yet."

At least she said yet.

We'd reached the sitting room by now and our aunt started her exit but not before adding. "I believe her sharp tongue of late is to thank for that."

_My aunt, _I thought. _Always disappointed in a girl for having an opinion, except when its hers._

And of course Susan was now sending sympathetic looks my way. I bit my tongue to keep quiet and not tell both of them what I really thought of the situation. I knew it wouldn't do any good; we'd had spats like this before.

_Aslan help me. _

-X-X-X-

Susan and I had a lot to catch up on. After aunt left us, returning only to bring tea and cakes for Susan after her long journey and to remind us supper was at 7:00 sharp.

And Susan had the good sense not to talk to me about young men.

We'd now been talking for over an hour and I was in the middle of describing an incident that involved Ed, Eustace, a rowboat, and a neighbor's well-bred dog. It was quite comical you see. I was waving my hands acting it out a bit but after a moment Susan seemed bored and reached out, grasping my hand in hers pulling me down beside her on the window seat.

"Lucy will you sit down a minute?" I cast a contrary look at her but amended.

"What is it Susan?" I glanced at her to find her eyes hastily scanning my face. "What?" I started again.

"Lucy," She said abruptly, interrupting me. "Have you and Ed been...?" She trailed off and I pretended like I didn't know what she was talking about.

I wanted to hold on to my secret _and Caspian_ a bit longer.

"Have Ed and I what?" I smiled pleasantly.

She gave me a look of consternation. "You know what I mean," She hissed lowering her voice. When I still didn't say anything, she whispered. "Narnia."

I had known this would come up eventually and that, yes, I would tell her.

But first I wanted to hear her say it. I can't really say why...maybe because lately whenever I got a letter from her she was all about _her._ She was older, she was prettier, more beautiful, more everything, not that she'd say that out loud. She just _expected_ people to think of her as a queen because she was. Between now and our first trip to Narnia she'd started _expecting it._ That was it. She took it for granted.

She just expected everyone to do and be what she wanted. Including me.

I tossed my hair over my shoulder. I was not about to let _that _happen, I was not known as the valiant queen for my cowardice.

"Susan," I avoided her question again. "Why are you and Peter here exactly?"

By the look on her face she knew what I was doing but she answered me instead of offering up a complaint.

"Ed wrote and told me that you were missing us." I frowned at that, I had not known my brother was corresponding with Su about _me._ I wondered what all he'd said. "And I knew I could pull a few strings," She winked at me. "and get away for a while." She finished.

"What about Peter?" I asked genuinely curious as to how they'd ended up here at the same time. And remembering Thomas I added as an afterthought. "And where in the world did he pick up Thomas?"

She gave me a chiding look, knowing I was just avoiding her question. "Peter was sent back to accompany a group of injured soldiers get back home." And after a moment's thought she added. "If it wasn't destroyed."

This seemed a little drastic for just a few injured soldiers to be accompanied home. "Why would they make Peter to do that? Isn't the army kind of a you-get-injured-you-get-sent-home-of-your-own- accord type thing?" I voiced my confusion out loud.

She frowned. "I think Peter said something about them being officers or some such thing." She waved this aside and opened her mouth to ask me, undoubtedly, again about Narnia.

But I wasn't finished asking about Peter. "Will he go back then?" My revenge on my eldest brother now almost completely forgotten, I only felt concern. I just knew I didn't want him to have to go back to war. He'd made it against the odds this far, why chance fate again? But I knew that's not how it worked with the men; it was a pride thing that made them all want to go. Ed would be there if he could.

I had no desire to see that faraway look in _both_ my brothers' eyes. It was also funny in a way; I had never once seen that look in my brothers' eyes in Narnia, no matter how many times we were involved in war. Almost like we were protected.

I felt a familiar pang of longing for Narnia.

Susan's pretty rosy lips tilted down at the edges as she became more impatient.

"I honestly have no idea." She looked upset. "I tried talking to him about it but he always changes the subject or avoids my questions." For the first time in a while I saw a glimpse of the older sister I had once known in Narnia when we'd ruled through the Golden Age.

The queen she was.

She of course had to go and ruin the gentle course of memories of better times, when we'd been a real family.

She narrowed her eyes at me. "Kind of like his sister." She said dryly.

"Tell me about Thomas now." I ignored her slight.

"No I-" She stopped and a devilish grin spread over her face.

_Oh no._

"I tell you what Lucy," This sentence was starting to sound decidedly like a bargain of some kind.

Or blackmail.

I wasn't sure which.

"I will tell you all about Thomas, little Lucy," She paused for effect. Drawing out the suspense. "If you tell me if you and Ed have been back."

"Back where?" I played dumb again.

She grinned even wider now, if possible as she said.

"Perhaps I could _suggest_ to Thomas that my dear little sister has feelings for him." She said this with nothing less than her angels smile.

I was beginning to think that her angels smile looked a lot like the devils.

My mouth actually fell open in shock. _Blackmail, most definitely._

"I-, What-, Its the-, He's a-" I stuttered fighting to get something out to try and defend myself and prove her wrong.

I did not like him like that.

Well I almost didn't. Finally settling on,

"What?" I screeched it.

Now Susan turned all. "It's okay, we all fall for men we can't possibly have." She pats my arm during that declaration in what I imagine is supposed to be a comforting way.

As if she hadn't just insulted me in a dozen ways.

I stared at my sister in utter disbelief that _she_ could even be that _mean_ to her own sister. For a lot of different reasons.

"What?" I questioned again dumbly, like I expected to have imagined it all.

The greatest thing that stood out to me out of all that was that about Thomas.

Even if I wanted him, which I didn't. Why was it my sister's choice to condemn us being no more than friends? How was that her decision?

Susan meanwhile was chattering on endlessly as I processed her words. I stood up rather abruptly pushing her hands away from me roughly and stepped towards the door.

I'd had enough.

"Lucy!" Susan sounded surprised. "Where are you going?"

I swung back around, fists clenched. "Are you saying I'm not good enough?" My challenge sounded cool and calm on my lips.

_Like a queen. _I thought. _Or a really annoyed sister._

Susan recoiled from me in shock at the very idea. "No Lucy, you know I would never do that!" Her voice gentle, soothing, like she was calming a nervous horse.

"Do I?" I gazed back at her with an icy expression.

"I never meant-" She came to a little stop here and I could read the truth on her face. "It wasn't-" She flushed, now angry that I'd done the unspoken, the forbidden.

I'd challenged her.

Nobody ever challenged her words or second guessed her even as a queen in Narnia it had been the same. But I wasn't about to back down.

"Yes," I said evenly. "You did. Admit it Susan, you can't stand the fact that a man might be more interested in me than you!" My voice was climbing in tone with too many emotions that had been kept inside.

My sister stood gracefully, her next words wrapped in anger.

"I will do no such thing." Then she tried to turn her words back around so she could free herself of the hole she'd dug herself into.

"Nonsense, I was simply trying to tease you into telling me if you'd been back to Narnia and seen Ca-" She hesitated. "Everyone. Nothing more." Stating this with a slight smile like she knew she'd just come up with logical explanation.

I wasn't in the mood for logical.

I licked my lips angrily. "No you were not, you wanted to-"

"You're wrong Lu," She cut me off. Grabbing my wrist in her hand to keep me from walking off. "I have more important men to worry about," she tossed her hair over her shoulder. "Than a soldier who barely survived with all his limbs intact."

I tried to comprehend the fact that my sister would ignore a man for a simple thing like him being just a soldier.

I shook my head in disgust. "You know what, Su?" I didn't wait for her to answer. "Yes we _did _go back to Narnia." I paused looking her full in the eyes again. Waiting until she met my blue eyes with her furious green ones.

I was about to say something that I couldn't take back.

"You never deserved Caspian."

I'd wanted to say something that would hurt her as much as she'd hurt me and everyone else that she deemed unworthy of her. In a single instant her entire demeanor changed.

I saw a tear slide down her face and she looked like she was moments away from bursting into sobs. I had never been that mean to anyone. I started to reach out and touch her but she jerked away.

"Susan I'm-" She shot around to face me and I felt like I was looking into the face of a stranger.

Her voice a hiss as she said. "You're right, I did mean it." Her tears changed so quickly to fury I wondered if I'd imagined it.

And then she backed her words up proving to me that she did, in fact, mean it.

My face stung like crazy as her palm connected with it. My eyes stung more than my cheek did.

_She actually slapped me. _And with a last glance at the sister that I no longer knew, I turned to run out of that room.

Only to find we had an audience. My aunt, uncle, Peter, Eustace, Ed, and lastly Thomas. I bit my lip, wondering how long they'd been standing there and at the same time not really caring.

They looked horrified at the scene though, mouths hanging open or hands partly covering their face hiding their shock.

_Oh well. _I shoved past them. And ran.

I faintly heard somebody call my name but I refused to stop. Not now, I didn't want to see the disappointment on their faces. Maybe I'd had no right to be as mean to Susan as she'd been to me. It was too late now.

_Dear one _Echoed in my head as a final condemning blow. I was out of the house and headed towards the bridge where Ed had encouraged me the other day.

I refused to cry.

_I will not cry, I will not cry. _I chanted silently.

_Dear one. _Resounded one more time before I fell and hit my knees. I didn't hurry to get up.

I wanted to say I was sorry but if I was honest not only with myself but with Aslan, I wasn't. I had said what I thought; I had stood up for myself. The only thing I would have taken back was that last bit about Caspian. But I wasn't sorry for it.

That scared me. Did that make me just like my sister?

"I'm sorry, Aslan." I murmured. Not sure if it was true, even then.

More than anything I felt Aslan's disappointment.

_**So is it horrible? Review and tell me what you think!**_


	5. One More Night

_**Chapter 5-One More Night**_

"Lucy."

I blinked back the tears that threatened to spill down my cheeks, but made no move to get up off my knees.

A hand landed on my shoulder and I shrugged away from the touch. I stared out over the scarce water of the creek and it brought to mind the thought that it hadn't rained in weeks.

It was dry, barren.

Kind of like how my soul felt at the moment.

"I'm sorry," My brother's voice spoke again from behind me, but this time I distinguished it as being Peter's and not Ed's voice.

I sighed wearily. "For what exactly, Peter?" I felt him watching me but I didn't turn to look at him.

I could picture his sun-darkened features flushing a little as the big brother in him tried to figure out what to say to me, right before the King in him would come out and he'd stop warring with himself and he'd speak to me as the king he was and not the brother.

I didn't mind. I had long since gotten used to this, it was better like that anyway.

"I-," He stopped and corrected himself. "We didn't mean to upset you." He said this delicately like he was talking to a fragile doll, like I might burst into tears.

The fact that I actually might is completely beside the point.

I glared at the creek some more. "Peter I am-" I turned my body still not quite facing him, and still on my knees, the old splintered wood of the bridge, poking into my knees through my thin summer dress. I ignored it. "I'm not so simple that I can't understand when you are being a tease."

"Then," He started.

_So he must not have heard everything. _I reached up and brushed my fingers over a tender spot on my cheek feeling the burning Susan's hand had inflicted and at the same time knowing I was just remembering. The stinging had long passed.

I reached and grabbed the railing of the ancient bridge, feeling splinters chafe at the soft skin of my palm as I pulled myself up.

"Peter," I paused wondering how much to tell him without revealing why Susan and I'd been arguing. "It's not you, its between Susan and I."

I looked up into his face for the first time, looking for understanding in his dark eyes, much like mine in color, not so much in the things they'd seen.

"What happened?" He asked the inevitable, like I would have expected.

I grimaced and he gave me a half smile. "That bad, huh?"

I searched for a reasonable response. "It's...complicated." I said this crossing my fingers that he would leave it at that, and drop the subject. No such luck.

"Is this about Thomas?" He asked with a smile that suggested he might know more than he let on.

I rolled my eyes heavenward. _Aslan save me from men who think they know it all. _

I contemplated ignoring his question and debated whether I should wipe the knowing smile off his face. In the end I just muttered. "Partly," And added. "I guess."

I heard Peter take a deep breath, preparing his self for what he was about to say, no doubt.

_Wonderful. _Was I about to get insulted again?

Instead Peter surprised me by asking the last thing I would have thought. Though I guess it really shouldn't have, not really.

"Are you going to apologize?"

"To who?" Shot out of my mouth, even when I knew who he meant.

He glanced sideways at me, giving me a look. "You know who...Susan."

I sucked in a deep breath, letting it out slowly before answering, thinking about my answer.

I shook my head, no.

Peter, to his credit, did not seem at all shocked. "Why?" Was all he asked. But he didn't sound like he was judging my decision.

I thought about that some before giving him my reply and braced myself for his response. "I think Susan had no right to say what she did," I said this carefully, so as not to reveal exactly what Susan _had_ said. "I tried to do what I thought was right and I said what I did defending myself." I stated this slowly, making sure every word was right.

Peter said nothing and the silence, like that of a coming storm, made me self-conscious and I felt my shoulders start to creep up ever so slightly until they were nearly even with my ears.

I forced myself to relax and take a deep breath.

Why did I do that? I had stood up for myself but now I was...not quite embarrassed just...self-conscious. Right?

I wasn't backing down, even if he wasn't weighing my every word, which he probably was, he was the High King after all. This is what he does.

He dealt with conflict often enough. Just not when it came to Susan and me. We usually just worked it out.

I really wished he would say something.

_Say something. _I willed him to say anything. Even telling me I was dead wrong might almost be preferable to his complete silence. Almost.

He was still silent when he gestured at me to follow him. "We should head back, Ed and Eustace might be looking for you."

_He speaks!_ I thought and out loud. "Oh, so now Eustace wants to find me."

_Pity he couldn't be so resilient in town today._

"I thought you said you weren't angry about that." Peter grinned at me widely now.

I widened my eyes dramatically. "No, I said I could _understand_ your teasing, somewhat. I also did not say I wouldn't get even with you, but I probably will." I teased him back.

Peter stumbled back a step putting a few feet between us, clutching his hands together. "I thing I'm scared." He mockingly made a terrified face.

I rolled my eyes and whacked him on the arm. This felt a lot like old times, teasing one another, like we had when we were little. I smiled a little sadly before saying. "If you think I'm going back to the house right now you have-"

"Alright, okay! No bad language now!" He slung an arm around my shoulder.

"I wasn't" I started, shaking my head. "Never mind, you can head back and tell them I'm fine."

Peter just raised an eyebrow. "And leave my little sister to the wild animals of the forest? Never."

_How chivalrous._ I smiled but refused to put it off any longer, I bit my lip and asked.

"Peter what did-" I didn't finish my question because I truly had no idea what I wanted to ask him.

Did he approve? Or did he not? Am I right? I think I am.

Maybe that was all that really mattered. But I wanted to hear his opinion.

He glanced at me for the space of a second. "It doesn't really matter what I think, now does it?"

I let his words sink in. "Then why are you here? I mean, if you're not trying to get what happened out of me?"

He blinked. "So there is more to it than just Thomas." It wasn't a question.

He was trying to get it out of me, all right. He was just doing it subtly.

"Is this about Narnia?" As he slowed to look back at me, I kept walking.

"Maybe." I murmured.

I looked over my shoulder at him. "Don't you ever miss it Peter?" A picture of Caspian laughing flashed through my memory and I couldn't help but think how vivid it was. I almost closed my eyes to revel in it. But Peter's next question caught me off guard.

"Why do I get the feeling you're not just talking about Narnia?" He gazed back at me curiously. "Did Ed leave something out when he told me about your recent trip," He winked at me. "I could've sworn I'd got everything out of him." He grinned, while I tried to hide the red in my cheeks, and the shock that Ed had so easily shared everything about our latest trip to Narnia.

Was that selfish of me?

And I felt some questions rising in me along with much had Ed said?

_He can't know anything. _I reassured myself. I didn't even know exactly why I was blushing, as if there was actually something to blush at.

And there wasn't.

Not really.

This was kind of the problem if you really think about it.

"Well?" Peter reached out with a hand to stop me.

I just shook my head letting my long brown hair fall to hide my face a little. "What do you mean?"

"Just what I said." He said leaving no room for argument. "Did my little sister leave behind a puppy she liked or," He paused and raised his brows in suggestion. "Rather, an admirer?"

I could still play dumb. Not that there was something to play dumb at.

"Like who?"

He frowned then. "You know," His brow creased in such deep thought I started to hit him again. "I really have no idea." And he laughed at my sour expression and raised his hands to fend off my attack.

"So it _is_ a boy!" He crowed triumphantly.

I groaned. "No there isn't." And at his satisfied grin. "Really. And Peter you sound just like a bunch of old women." I figured that would provoke some response out of him.

He kept on talking like I had said nothing. "But its not Thomas?" It was partially a question and partly just confirmation. I didn't say anything.

Peter and I had, by now, made it to the halfway point between the house and bridge. The sky had darkened, clouding over so I could no longer see the moon. The air seemed heavy, still, like it held a warning of some kind.

And Peter had in no way given up yet as he said. "Come on Lu, give me a hint."

I gazed up into the dark sky and distantly thought that maybe I heard thunder, I didn't move my eyes as I asked.

"Why?"

Peter quit speaking and hesitantly now. "Pardon, I thought-"

He stopped and he looked confusedly at me.

"Why?" I questioned again and seeing his blank look I finished my unspoken thoughts aloud. "Why would it matter if there _was _a young man? There-" At his disbelieving look I cut him off before he could argue. "There wasn't."

"But Ed said tha-"

I jerked looking away from the sky. "Ed said what? I scowled back up at some distant star that probably didn't deserve my wrath. "Seems Ed's been talking about me a lot lately."

Peter stared at me calmly. "You know it wasn't like that."

"Do I?" I found myself asking the very same question I'd asked Susan over an hour ago.

_Here we go again. _

"Why don't you explain this to me, because I don't know what you're talking about Lu." Peter's voice was annoyed now and he gestured at me with his hands. He was getting impatient.

So I started. "Peter, what do I know nowadays?" No response, he waited. "Ed's been corresponding with Su, about me, apparently. Su barely writes to me anymore and after tonight I doubt she will at all, and when you find the time to write its never more than a page long. And Susan suddenly just expects me to be what she wants even though I haven't seen either one of you in nearly two years." I paused for breath.

Peter didn't say anything, he just studied me. I guess I'd shocked him beyond words.

When he finally did he asked. "Has it really been that long Lu?" He sounded a bit dazed like maybe he hadn't realized it _had,_ in fact, been two long years. Maybe he hadn't. And that thought made me feel sad inside, like maybe he hadn't missed us all that much. But I knew that wasn't quite fair.

I wasn't finished yet though. Everything I'd wanted to say to Peter and Susan was now coming freely to my lips and falling regardless of the results.

"You suddenly show up without any word."

Peter held up his hand to stop me.

I didn't bother to acknowledge it. "Don't take that the wrong way Peter, but it's been _two years." _I emphasized those two words and Peter looked about to protest again. "I know," I stopped him. "You had no choice but Susan did," I felt the lump in my throat return but I forced out the words. "And she chose to stay away." I stopped feeling drained and my voice sounded hoarse as I whispered.

"I just think you both need to realize that things aren't the same, so don't expect them to be." My words sounded harsh to my own ears and I wanted to add.

_I'm different. I'm different than I was._

But I didn't.

"I know." Peter spoke softly. "I know its not the same. But Lu?" He laid a brotherly hand on my shoulder gently. "As long as we're realizing things, I think you need to realize something too."

His gaze hardened a little and I saw the same faraway look I'd seen earlier come into them.

"Narnia isn't a part of your future now."

I didn't even feel the tears threatening to escape as I steeled myself against his words, which even spoken softly, hit me harder than Susan's hand had.

_Dear One. _I felt a cool breeze cut through the oppressive air and caress my cheeks, lifting my hair off my shoulders. I breathed it in.

"Come on, Lucy." Peter murmured, holding out his hand to me. "It's late."

So used to the well-worn path, having walked it thousands of times, I didn't remember walking to the house beside my brother. I walked blindly, every step I knew by heart. And every step back tore another piece of my heart out, as I knew that even if I stayed here at my Uncles, I would never call it home, not truly.

Maybe Peter was right. Maybe it was time for me to accept I wouldn't go back to Narnia, not ever.

But I knew that wasn't what hurt me the most, or that I had the most trouble accepting.

It was accepting the fact that I would never see Caspian again that bothered me. Accepting that I would never again hear him laugh, even if it wasn't at some joke I'd told him, smile, even if it wasn't at me, fight, even if it wasn't alongside me. _Together. _I thought.

It made me feel cold.

He didn't even know that I liked him, like he'd liked Susan, once upon a time.

I faintly heard Peter say goodnight and I returned it, I think. I went upstairs, making the familiar corner that led into my room easily in the darkness. Not even bothering to wash I headed towards my bed, prepared to just fall into my pillow. I was stopped, however, by the sight of an all too familiar lump already nestled deeply amongst _my_ sheets. Susan.

I gave a huff of frustration, grabbing my pillow which Susan had left abandoned, _probably not good enough for her,_ and blanket, I headed to the guest room.

My last thoughts as I drifted into a surprisingly peaceful slumber were of Caspian.

When he'd pulled me out of the water and onto the deck of the Dawn Treader. He had smiled at me. _At me. _His arms surrounding me, I could feel his muscles tensing from the strain of the sudden swim that hadn't left him the least bit breathless. He hadn't let go even after we'd made it to the deck safely. His head bent close to mine, smiling a greeting. So close I could feel his warmth, even after being soaked.

He hadn't let me go until Ed had stumbled onto the deck interrupting whatever Caspian had been about to say to me with a hearty greeting. I remember scowling at them both, annoyed Caspian had let go so easily.

_That's my problem, _I thought. _I don't want to let go. _

Of Narnia.

Of a King who barely even recognized me as a girl.

_Peter is right. I need to let go. _My thoughts whispered, half gone in a dream about the handsome king.

_But one more night won't hurt anything. _

**Sooo whatcha think? Review! Lucy will probably be in Narnia by the next chapter!**


	6. Impossible

**So here's the next chapter! Just a forewarning, I changed Lucy a bit, I made her afraid of storms just because it seemed to fit and that she doesn't really know how to swim. Oh and Susan isn't in this chapter but for, like, one sentence...I know she probably should have been in more, but I think she might come in later on. **

**I started writing this chapter with a kind of specific plot in mind and when I actually started writing it, I went in a completely different direction. Like in a direction where Thomas is actually not who you think he is...and maybe that Peter knew but didn't quite believe him. Just sayin'.**

**So I guess that's it! Read on! Thanks for all the great reviews!**

_**Chapter 6- Impossible**_

_BOOM!_

I sat straight up in bed, mouth agape as I gasped for air, hands clutching at the sheets trying to pull them away from my rigid form. My body felt cold with sweat, I gasped again, struggling to get air into my lungs and as I calmed a little the vise that had seemed to grip my chest relinquished its hold and I breathed sweet air.

My heart, though, was still beating harshly in my chest. I tried to remember what had woken me.

As my heart beat slowly started to return to its normal pace the pounding in my ears did not abate.

I looked to the window and realized there was a storm raging outside my window.

"Maybe that's what woke me." I whispered out loud, my contemplation drowned out by the storm that was ravaging mother nature outside.

I frowned a little. _That's not quite it. _Pushing my sheets aside to stand, I couldn't help but notice my legs felt unsteady. I shivered, wrapping my arms around my slight form tightly.

You see, I do not like thunderstorms, the thunder, lightning and wind. Even after years I was still scared of them, or as I liked to say, I have a healthy respect for them.

There's no real reason for my fear, its just...there.

And don't mistake me, one of the most beautiful things you will ever see is a rain shower in the spring as the sun is just peeking from behind the clouds and a little piece of the world is covered with rainbows as the sun glimmers through the tiny, iridescent, droplets.

Those kinds of storms I am fine with. It's the big one's that bother me.

When we were younger, in Narnia, Susan and Peter would take turns telling me stories when I would wake scared and missing Mum and Daddy during the night. A fond smile curved my lips as I remembered my favorite one.

The thunder would be so loud it would echo off the great halls of Cair Pairavel, Peter would push me towards a window and point out straight into the inky blackness through the heart of the storm, towards a sky we couldn't see and say.

"It's Aslan." He would whisper this first part and I'd always ask.

"How do you know?"

"It's him roaring, Lucy," He'd pause tilting his head and cupping his hand over his ear. "Listen, he's telling us something."

And I would tilt my head obediently, mirroring my brother's stance and I swear to this day that out of the storm I could hear the mighty Lion's both great and fierce call. Both striking fear into the hearts of some and at the same time healing those who believed in him.

_But sometimes, _I thought with some resentment, coming back to the present. _It was easier to believe that when you actually lived in Narnia._

Another flash of lightning, and clap of thunder shook me out of my thoughts and I found I had wandered over to the window of the guest room without realizing it.

My thoughts almost automatically turned back to what had awakened me.

Something was nagging at the back of my mind.

Had someone called me? I really thought about that. It seemed almost right somehow...

_A dream! _I almost exclaimed out loud. I was dreaming about...

I almost didn't want to admit it to myself; it seemed like a weakness only I knew about and could do nothing about. _Caspian. _I thought harder chewing at the inside of my lip.

Nothing. I gave a growl of frustration. And my stomach surprised me by answering back with an equally ferocious growl of its own. I remembered I hadn't had anything since early yesterday. I hadn't been hungry after the debacle with Susan.

So I made my way around the bed peeking out the door to make sure no one else was up and about.

I wasn't sure what my aunt would have to say if she found me rummaging through her kitchen for a snack at odd hours of the morning.

I could probably guess, but I wasn't about to go find out if I was right or not.

_I wonder what time- _My silent question was interrupted by the chiming of the upstairs hallway clock.

I froze my right foot hovering halfway above the first step going down the stairs.

Holding my breath, hoping it would not wake anyone, the old clock seemed uncannily loud this early in the morning. As it chimed I counted each one.

_One, Ding, Two, Dong, Three, Ding, Four, Dong. 4 o clock in the morning._

I needed to hurry if I wanted to be back in bed and wanted to avoid questions about last night and avoid my aunt's wrath for being in her kitchen. I wasn't ready for the confrontation yet, especially since I was not going to tell them what had happened.

Aunt would agree with Susan in part, I was fairly certain, but I did not want the sympathetic looks coming from my brothers, cousin, and uncle.

I stepped carefully and lightly down the steps, calling on every stealthy move I had ever learned in Narnia.

_Only difference is, _I mocked myself. _I'm not hunting. _

I almost felt disappointed that it hadn't been harder to get downstairs.

_It's not over yet. _I reminded myself before I decided to get careless.

I crossed the deep bronze colored, hard wood floor and slid through the kitchens doorway easily, bypassing the cabinets and heading straight for the pantry.

I might just find a left over cookie from last evening, or maybe a pie, aunt would have cooked for tomorrows dessert for supper. She is nothing if not always prepared.

_Not that I would actually get the pie, of course. _I'm not that rude.

But when I reached for the door and cracked it open, only then did I remember that I had no light.

"Idiot." I muttered about myself under my breath.

I backed away from the pantry and headed towards the sitting room.

_Perhaps Uncle or Edmund left a lantern or candle in there._

I was not about to go hunting for it through their bedrooms.

I was hungry, but not that hungry.

Entering the room, and throwing a careless glance around. I didn't stop to reminisce at the scene that had played out several hours before. My eyes roving over the room's interior searching for a light.

"Yes!" I quietly exclaimed when I spotted a lantern on the fireplace's carved wood mantle. I stepped farther into the room, reaching for the lantern.

Grasping it, I turned, with every intention of getting my snack but something stopped me. I flipped the switch on and pointed it towards one of the three windows in the room. The last thing I expected was for the golden light of the lantern to reflect off a face in the misty window, bleary with rain.

"Uh!" I gasped, dropping the lantern, narrowly missing my foot as it rolled a few feet before bumping into a chair leg. I stood completely frozen, the face etched into my mind. For a moment that was all I saw.

I try not to be a cowardly girl. But I freely confess that I felt utterly terrified and a little dizzy. I grabbed for the arm of any of the nearby furniture and forced myself to take a deep, steadying breath.

The face had been Caspian's. I closed my eyes to see his expression more clearly.

_His face was tense. _I thought. _Tense with worry. Fear. _I recognized the look on his face with the ease of someone used to seeing that fear.

It was almost a mirror of the helplessness I'd seen and felt these last few months when for long days I knew I would be spending completely alone and had plenty of time to think.

Sometimes that's not a good thing.

Finally coming unfroze I had a sudden desire to see that face again. Fear or not.

I dove for the lantern my trembling hands fumbling with it.

I pointed it to the window...

And there was nothing there. I nearly dropped the light again.

I blinked my eyes staring harder. Waiting for anything. When I glanced back and away from the window for a third time I was asking myself.

_Am I crazy? _For good reason, I think, this scared me.

But as I scanned over the window again something triggered my thoughts dragging them back to my earlier contemplation of had I had a dream? Was that the niggling thought?

It was. Bits and pieces flooded back to me slowly.

I saw a picture of Cair Pairavel in my head, standing unsullied, in all its former glory. I was standing, admiring the view from my place by Caspian's side, standing on the beach

He winked at me and spoke, but I could not hear him.

"What?" I asked loudly. Caspian shook his head and pointed.

I turned in the direction he pointed. I saw nothing. "What?" I asked again, but my voice sounded angry this time.

When I turned back around Caspian was no longer standing there but in his place stood Peter. It was Peter in body but something about his eyes caught my attention.

It wasn't his eyes, Peters eyes had darkened to a fierce yet angelic dark brown, to those of a Lion I had once known. I dropped a small flower I hadn't known I clutched.

"Aslan!" I couldn't contain my joy. But the eyes that belonged on a great lion and not my brother were turned away from me, looking into the distance.

At what? My face twisted, distraught. Couldn't see whatever it was, I strained, for it felt just out of reach.

I reached my hand out; I was reaching, almost...

"Lucy!" I jumped, every muscle in my body winding up and then releasing themselves. I tossed my light in the direction of my surprise visitor, clutching my hand to my chest, trying to hold in my stampeding heart. I swung around narrowly missing a lamp on an end table.

I faced my cousin, Eustace. He stood looking apologetic and out of place in the large room at such an early hour and rubbed a spot on his arm. Probably where I just hit him with the lantern by accident.

"Eustace!" I had to keep myself from squealing in surprise.

"Lucy I-" He mumbled. "What are you doing?"

I didn't really want to answer that so instead I said.

"I could ask you the same thing."

Eustace glanced past me towards the window I had saw Caspian's face and I made myself stay put and not turn to see if there was a face reflected in it again.

Eustace's eyes flicked back to me and he whispered. "Did you see him?"

"See who?" I squeaked. _Caspian? Sure. But you're not supposed to know this._

Eustace's eyes were wide as he stepped closer and said. "Aslan."

I sighed with relief. A half second later I took it back, if he wasn't talking about Caspian then did that make me crazy after all?

I must have given some kind of response because Eustace asked me.

"Will you go then?"

I was greatly confused by now and I was just opening my mouth to ask him if this were some joke, as I started someone else spoke from the doorway.

"Eustace, Lucy." We both jumped, I grabbed at my cousins arm.

"What in Heavens-"

"How the bloody-"

"What are you-?"

All three of our exclamations collided with each other's. It did nothing to relieve any of the tension the room now held. We were all silent for a moment, just staring at each other. And then Thomas spoke up.

"I thought I heard you speak of-" He hesitated and I could tell he was debating with himself; I just wasn't sure what over. "A place called Narnia." A slightly amused expression came over his face that I did not like. I felt real fear now.

Eustace and I exchanged bug eyed looks with each other.

_What do we do?_ I questioned him mentally.

Eustace was the first to say. "I, you see, my mother," He stumbled horribly over the words.

I forced out the first thing that came to my mind hoping that it would work. "His mother just baked these wonderful cakes," I tried not to wince at the lie. "And there called narns." I grimaced, wondering if that sounded as ridiculous as I thought it did.

Eustace looked at me like I was crazy.

_Guess it did. _

I saw a spark come on his face and he said sheepishly to Thomas. "It was a dare, you see, I challenged Lucy to see if she was too much of a chicken."

I spoke again sealing the blatantly ridiculous lie.

"His mother just baked them and well, you understand, don't you?" My stomach growled then as if I'd planned it.

Thomas was studying us both with inquisitive eyes, trying to decide if he should believe the mad story. I wouldn't even blame him if he called us on it.

Thomas finally spoke after a long awkward pause. "You will find Lucy is anything but a chicken, young man."

Why did the way he said that worry me?

Thomas nodded and said. "Alright then, you two should be back in bed." His order made my temper flare a little.

"May I ask, Thomas, just why you are spying on my cousin and me?" I enquired my voice held a hint of ice.

Thomas met my gaze with a cool one of his own, all the more chilly with his bright blue eyes. "I heard voices and came to find out who's they were."

He nodded again at us. "Do you mind terribly, Eustace, if I borrow your cousin a moment. I need to speak with her. Alone." His bold sentence wasn't even a question.

Eustace glared at Thomas much like I was glaring at him.

_How dare he talk as if I'm not even here?_

"What kind of-" Eustace spoke angrily and I stopped him, grabbing his arm.

"Give me a moment." I'm not sure why I said it, but I did.

And Eustace didn't like it one bit, he opened his mouth to protest. I stopped him, shaking my head, letting him meet my eyes and watched his mouth shut with a snap.

"Five minutes." He growled. And I knew that if he hadn't known about my history as the Warrior Queen he never would have even considered leaving me alone with Thomas.

As the door closed, too hard to have been an accident, I did a mental calculation of the weapons that could be used to defend myself if need be. Starting with the lantern I'd dropped and ending with the fireplace's poker.

Thomas grabbed my wrist half tugging, half dragging me over to the couch.

I snatched my hand away. "I would suggest you not do that again." My words were calm but inside I felt scared.

_What if I can't defend myself? _That was ridiculous, how many times had I fought in battle, this was just one man.

Thomas to my complete and utter surprise dropped to his knees in front of me, head bent, face serious. "I apologize, your Majesty, but I had to speak with you alone, without him listening." His head tilted towards the door where Eustace was, indeed, probably listening. But Thomas's words left me dumbfounded.

"I- I'm- I'm sorry- I don't-" I stopped mostly so I could quit stuttering out a worthless excuse that he wouldn't believe.

Thomas pulled himself back to his feet, glancing over his shoulder, nervously to the door. He held out his hand. "Come we must hurry."

I bounced back away from him. "Are you addled? Why?" And for good measure. "And why do you call me your majesty?"

He was still looking over his shoulder. "I cannot explain it all, not here."

Fear was growing in my chest at every word he spoke. "Thomas," I interrupted him. "What _is _wrong?" I placed a hand on his arm in an attempt to calm him, and wondered if I should actually believe him.

He looked so serious.

His blue eyes were firm when he grasped my hand in his. "Queen Lucy," He whispered. "It is too dangerous, but you must believe me when I say you are needed _elsewhere." _He emphasized the last word making me all the more curious as to what was going on.

"To dangerous for what? And what do you mean I'm needed elsewhere?" I leaned closer, doing everything in my power to get the answers out of him, short of shaking him.

Thunder boomed outside again and I heard footsteps pounding lightly overhead as my uncle started to rise.

My attention was momentarily averted by the noise and Thomas reached out grasping my chin, turning my face back to meet his eyes. "Lucy you must leave now." He wasn't looking at me any longer as he started to rise from his seated position. "Get Peter to help you," He spoke quickly now, the words coming faster and faster. "You have to go before it's too late." With these condemning words he pulled me to my feet, hurriedly trying to get me out of the room.

I was still conflicted and said as much. "Why should I believe you?"

Thomas' stare was intent and nearly made me squirm but I stood my ground, meeting his eyes. Finally he averted his gaze to glance down reaching for a ring on his left hand, wrenching it off and producing it to me. "Here, take it. Keep it."

He gave me a moment to study it. It was carved silver, good quality, a lion's head carved into the top of it, a cross gliding delicately down one side and a strange looking broken sword down the other. My attention was caught by an insignia on the inside of the band.

I strained to read the words in the poor light, noting that the ring, the lion and cross were a symbol of the Narnian people. My people. _Why would Thomas have this? _

My time was up as Thomas pulled me to the door just as it burst open.

My cousin, uncle, and Ed shoved into the room, they all looked between us.

"What is going on here?" My uncle's voice boomed, demanding an answer.

I looked at Thomas, he shook his head telling me no, as if he expected me to spill everything he'd just told me, or the lack of what he'd told me.

_No, I couldn't so that, they'd think I was crazy. _I mockingly thought, like this whole situation wasn't enough to convince them of that, and I was about to give them more of a reason as Thomas said.

"Lucy go." His voice pleaded with me. I clenched my teeth.

_Aslan help me._

I shoved past my protesting family and called back for Thomas. "Where will I go?" Nearly coming to a halt when he didn't answer right away. "You'll know." Was all I got as I raced up the stairs not bothering to keep quiet now, amid protest from my sibling, cousin, and uncle.

I rounded the corner coming over the top step and slammed into someone. "Ooph!"

In a tangle of limbs I pulled back and looked to see who I'd bodily slammed into.

"Watch-" _Susan._

"Not now Su!" I said squashing whatever she'd been about to say, Thomas' urgent face still fresh in my mind.

I bounded to the guest room Peter was staying in, almost hesitating at the door, wondering if I should knock, but once again thinking of the urgency in Thomas' eyes and voice I turned the knob shoving into the room.

I spotted Peter on the bed a half second before he shot up and off the bed landing in a defensive stance, hand groping. _For a weapon probably. _I thought and hurriedly stopped him saying.

"Peter its me!" I hissed at him. "I need your help!"

"Lucy," He peered at me through the near darkness, sounding relieved.

"Thomas said I should come get you, that you would know what he meant..." I trailed off wondering at how crazy I must sound. Peter was in motion though; he had a hold of my arm, pulling me to the window.

I jerked away. "Peter! This is not about my stupid fear! This is serious. "Somewhere in the adrenaline my brain thought he was talking about my fear of storms a second later he proved me wrong.

"How long did he say you have?" Peter sounded calm, despite my waking him from a dead sleep.

"He said there was no time and it was dangerous," I grabbed my eldest brother's arm. "But what does he mean?"

Ignoring me Peter threw open the window, rain blowing in, splashing my face with a refreshingly cool bath. Peter turned, laying a hand on my shoulder.

"You'll have to go out this way, it'll be better if no one see's you leave."

I almost protested again, Thomas' and Caspian's face in my head stopped me. And with a growl I tossed my leg over the window sill.

"There's a tree branch about a foot in front of you, a little too you're right." Peter guided.

_If I didn't know better I'd think he'd had this planned. _I thought and thought I heard Peter say something over the rain and wind, so I glanced back at the window, the wind taking my breath as I asked.

"What?"

"I just said maybe he's not so crazy after all!"

"Who!" I had to shout.

"Lucy, concentrate, the branch-"

"I know!" I snapped. "I've lived here two whole years, remember? I know where its at!"

"I'll meet you at the barn, Lu. Be careful." With these last words I heard the window slide shut with a _whoosh._

I glared with distaste at the slick tree branch, muttering. "Here goes nothing." Grasping wet bark with my hands, I held on tightly as I made my way down the tree, scraping the insides of my legs as my nightgown slid up to my knees.

I could hear Susan now. 'How improper.' The thought almost made me smile and I didn't stop the nervous giggle that escaped my throat. It was better than thinking about the fear and strangeness of this whole situation, kept me from thinking about what might be lurking out here in the dark.

_Lucy! _I forced myself to stop thinking. My brother wouldn't let me out here without knowing I was safe, right? _Or else he thought I could defend myself. And I can. I hope._

_Peter will be at the barn. _Lightning flashed overhead and I cringed. Putting my bare feet down on cold, wet grass I broke into an instant run. My thoughts chasing after me, making me all the more faster.

Rain streamed down my face and body, soaking me through in moments. The mud making my feet squelch each time a foot hit the ground.

And I reached the barn in record time. _Amazing what you can do with a thunderstorm raging around your head._ I wasn't quite sure what I was supposed to do once I got here, so after shifting in front of the barn from foot to foot I grabbed the door yanking it open with a vengeance.

I hunted for a horse blanket to wrap up in until Peter got here. Settling onto a hay bale towards the back of the barn.

Any other time I would have gaily called out a greeting to the horses even when I knew they wouldn't talk back, but this was no ordinary night, and it was about to get a whole lot worse.

These were the directions of my thoughts as my eyes caught a glimpse of a figure in the barn door I'd left cracked.

I started to stand but something, I'm not sure what, made me sink back into the shadows, waiting.

The figure seemed to study the dark interior of the barn. Then they reached out and what scarce light from the flashes of lightning that had penetrated the darkness, disappeared as the door closed with a _CREAK._

I sucked in a terrified breath nearly jumping out of my skin when the door creaked. Why would Peter do that? _Unless, _I tensed in thought. _It's not Peter. _

I swallowed hard still thinking about this. What if it was someone dangerous? And it very well could be after everything Thomas had said.

And if it was someone dangerous I couldn't just let Peter walk blindly into a trap.

I sank even farther back, pressing my back to the hard wood of a stall.

I could take one person, but in the dark without seeing if they were armed or how big they were was beyond good sense.

I sensed movement only a couple feet in front of me. I gritted my teeth in concentration trying to trace their every move in darkness.

Right as I started inching forward, rising from my hiding place, tensing for an upcoming fight, the barn's door flew open for the third time that night.

"Lucy!" A voice called quietly and the shadow I had been watching, darted stealthily into deeper shadow, disappearing from my sight, as they did I thought I caught a flicker of movement as a hand shot snake-like quick to their waist.

I had only a moment to think. _A weapon. _

"Lucy!" My brother's voice was urgent now. "Its-"

I didn't hear the rest of the sentence as I watched the figure make its move towards my brother. And I moved with them, jumping in a not very graceful manner as I reached for the shadows arm.

My fingers closed over a dark cloth covered arm. _I have it! _

"Peter there-" The figure jerked trying to dislodge my surprisingly strong hold. I braced my feet, my body going into an automatic fight stance, I used their attempt at throwing me against them, I bounced back as soon as they were off balance yanking with all my weight backwards.

I heard a curse of pain as their arm bent a bit too far than was normal. I froze, my training not preparing me for the slight guilt at hurting a fellow human being. I had forgotten about this part of the fight.

My hesitation was my downfall. I thought later as I felt a sharp pain in my collarbone as something slammed in between my shoulder and chest. Knocking me back and almost to my knees.

For a second my breath was gone and I tried to breathe as I heard struggling nearby and shoved back to my feet to help my brother.

But what I saw was the retreating back of the figure, as they turned tail and ran, running out of the barn. I started after them, instinct taking over before good sense, or rather, Peter, grabbed my arm to stop me.

"No time! You have to leave now." He nodded to the stalls. "Grab one and go, I'll follow you!"

"But-" I started to protest this madness again. I didn't even know where to go.

"Move!" He ordered. There was such fear on his face that I turned to one of the fastest horses in my uncle's barn.

His name was Storm, his sleek dark grey coat giving him his name. Kind of ironic I'd choose him tonight of all nights.

I started to get a saddle to toss on him but Peter stopped me with another warning. "There is no time." I nodded to him even if I knew he couldn't see it and led Storm towards the barn door.

"Go ahead and mount, we have to be moving fast when we get out of here. That person could be back at any moment with friends."

_Who are they? _I wanted to ask.

I clutched a handful of mane to pull myself up, and Storm tossed his head, eyes rolling in fear. Or maybe it was excitement. I'm not sure if the latter is any better.

"Ready Lucy?" Peter called to me.

"Yes." I said even if I didn't feel it.

"Go!" He shouted, Storm spooked, darting forward, without any encouragement from me.

We were flying to the door, way faster than anybody ever should, at night, in a barn, on a horse, during a storm, and with angry assassins after us. If that's what they were.

As we burst out into the storm the rain was like icy needles, pricking at our skin as we cantered the horses down, in the direction of the forest.

We broke into a precarious gallop and I was hanging onto Storms mane like my life depended on it. And it really did.

We slowed a little to steer our mounts through the thinner part of the forest, so we could head towards the river. It was the only place that seemed like the right place to go, and I could feel Peter's eyes on me asking me which way to go, even if he never asked aloud.

Truth was, I simply did not know. But the creek seemed better than nothing.

_The probably swollen, potentially deadly creek. _Went my thoughts.

I spotted it first as a flash of heat lightning lit up the landscape around me. The storm showed little sign of letting up.

"Which way?" Peter finally shouted over the downpour.

But I still did not know. "I-" I started.

Peter urged his mount next to mine and asked again. "Which way Lu? _Do_ you know?" He looked around nervously and our horses pranced, sensing our fear.

I gripped slick reins, trying to think. _Where? Where? _I demanded of my brain.

"Lucy-" Peter started again.

"I don't know Peter!" I snapped because, partly I didn't want to reveal my helplessness.

"Aslan help us." Peter murmured under his breath and I seconded it with. "Where do we go, Aslan?" The rain seemed to be letting up some.

Something made me look down at the ring I somehow still had on a finger I'd hastily shoved it on. I remembered my strange dream. _What were they pointing at? _I asked myself.

And it hit me.

"The-" I was cut off as I saw something at the corner of my eye. I swung my head around. Peter followed my gaze. And with a harsh kick to his mount.

"Go!" He shouted at me. I bit my lip, we couldn't stay alongside the creek, we'd be an open target. I chewed my lip harder, praying our enemies couldn't hear over the tempest, I hollered at Peter.

"The bridge! Go to the bridge!"

I steered Storm to head towards it, urging him on faster. Moments went by and I saw the rickety bridge come into sight just as at least three more sets of hoof beats joined ours.

Storm came to an abrupt halt, planting his feet in terror. I tried to force him to cross the bridge, and he bounced into a half rear, I clutched at his mane, trying to stay seated on his bare back, but his sweat slickened body combined with the rain was too much and I slid down his back, into the mud.

If I wasn't wet enough, I was now sticky with mud.

Someone grabbed my arm. I started to swing my hand back to strike the person but my brother's face appeared before me.

"Are you okay?" He asked, I nodded and without warning he hauled me to my feet tossing me back on Storm unceremoniously, who nearly dropped me back in the mud.

"Go across now, Lucy!" Peter shouted, leaving me little choice in the matter as Storm took it upon himself to finally step onto the bridge.

You know, that bridge that looks like it might collapse at any moment?

Storm went on crossing to the middle before coming to a stop again. "Come on boy!" I prodded him with my feet and knees.

My shoulder ached from the earlier fight but I pushed away the pain for the moment. "Go!" I urged him and by some miracle he started moving again, his gait choppy. But at least he was moving.

I turned to see if Peter was coming behind me.

I blinked through the rain clouding my vision and saw he was off his horse, standing.

"Peter!" I called, but it died on my lips as I caught a glimpse of his face as lightning lit the sky once more. My fear temporarily gone as I saw the horror on his face, he said something that I couldn't hear over the storm and just like in my dream, he pointed.

The terror on his face clear. I turned back to face whatever had my brother so terrified. Lightning slashed through the sky again, thunder immediately sounding after, like an explosion that rang through my head. I saw a spark as the bridge seemed to spark with fire from the flash the flowing river extinguishing the flame before it got far.

I saw this as Storm reared in fright, throwing me again; distantly I heard the sound of his retreating hoof beats as my body slammed into the wood and heard the voices of people shouting from somewhere.

"Lucy!" Someone, probably Peter called to me. I heard another bang and this time an earsplitting crack tormented my ears.

_NO! _My thoughts screamed as I vaguely realized it was the bridge giving way underneath me. I forced my wobbly legs to hold me as I tried to stand, ignoring the various pains shooting through my body.

I tried to stumble in the direction of my brother to the end of the bridge before it was swept away completely. I slipped, reaching for the railing.

It wasn't there. I reeled back as the bridge tilted sending me sprawling onto hard wood again.

And then it happened.

The entire bridge seemed to shudder as if freeing itself from some lifelong bond and with a final crack, I think I screamed as the swollen creek picked the bridge, and me, up, throwing us into the relentless water.

Aslan help me.

I tried to grab hold of something, anything, to keep hold of any lifeline.

I managed this for precious seconds until the water forced me down into its seemingly endless fury.

I fought. I kicked up, getting a breath of air here and there.

But I am not a swimmer. I've never really learned how, never needed to. I was regretting that right at this moment.

And there was this big problem. I was weakening scarily quick. My lack of sleep, short fight, and insane horseback ride had left me with little strength to fight a beast that seemed determined to force the life out of me.

My fragile hold on consciousness failing as the black water forced the last bit of my air out of me little by little.

I was sinking. I'd like to say I had some great life changing revelation come to me but I only felt sad. Sad that I hadn't told my brothers, cousin, sister, how much I loved them, regardless of anything that had happened between us

I closed my eyes. _I'm so sorry._

_-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X_

_Something had a hold of my nightgown. _I opened my eyes to find something rooting amongst my hair. I sat up, squeaking in surprise and brushing at my hair hurriedly. Whatever it was tumbled away from me ungracefully, yanking my hair painfully as it fell.

I scooted away from the animal. Turning at the same time to see what had decided to wake me out of so peaceful a slumber. I blinked damp lashes.

_A kitten. A little kitty cat. _

I made to move back next to it and became painfully aware of pain.

Everywhere. I stopped, pausing, trying to remember where, exactly, I was at.

I looked around. It was so green and pretty. I saw flowers cascading down a tree that could only be produced by nature. The plants seemed to sway with life of their own.

I blinked again, repeating that sentence to myself.

_The plants seem to sway with life of their own. Life of their own._

My mouth was wide open as I looked around with new eyes. This looked very familiar and at the same time, foreign.

_I am dreaming. _I thought. But when I closed my eyes to free my mind of this particular grand illusion. I remembered. _"_It wasn't a dream." I said it out loud, my words etched with disbelief and I glanced down at myself. I still had on my nightgown, battered, muddy, torn off at the knees. Proof of what had happened.

I looked at my hand where a golden ring glimmered with new life in the morning sun.

I tilted my head all the way back and when I still couldn't see fully the view I craved. I fell back against the tree flowing with flowers. The fragrance was overpowering.

And I stared with wonder at the home of many former Narnian's, but mainly of two Kings and Queens of old.

Of the Golden Age.

"Impossible." I whispered, tears forming in my eyes making them glimmer with light.

It was impossible. Cair Pairavel had been destroyed, but here it stood in all its former glory, _but, _I thought, _it doesn't look quite the same. _It looked different.

Whatever the change, I did not care. I fell to my knees in reverence to a Ruler so great we would never know all his glory.

I was in Narnia.

**So is it horrible? Pretty good? Review and tell me what you think! Nicely.**


	7. Dannsair and Ruffians

_**So this is the next chapter, sorry if it seems a little random or something. I'm trying to hurry up and get Lucy to where Caspian's at so this can really get going. Oh and I am making Lucy go to Calormen in search of Caspian because I'm not really sure where Caspian would have been after Dawn Treader, so I'm making it up...lol**_

_**Oh and the name Dannsair is from a series of books I read, called Hoof beats. It supposed to mean Dance, I think. I'll have to go check and make sure though...**_

_**Chapter 7-Dannsair and Ruffians**_

I just stared. It was all I _could _do. How could this have happened? I brushed a piece of straggly hair out of my face.

"What is this?" I wondered aloud. I stood slowly, standing and bracing myself against the flowery tree, my body was aching all over from the previous night's storm and various attacks.

I couldn't help but smile despite everything. It was just so amazing to be back here, unbelievable, and yet here I was. And regardless of all my questions I wasn't going to let them ruin this moment.

I released the tree, smiling my thanks to this one, realizing I had probably grown up around it, but it had just been a baby when I last saw. The thought made me smile even wider.

And if I wasn't mistaken I thought the tree acknowledged my thanks with a rustling of its long leaf covered braches.

I still gazed around in question; I bit my lip still grinning. _What should I do first? _I had no idea! I was finally here again, I had daydreamed of moments like these and yet I did not know what to do first!

It seemed so completely ridiculous that I felt a laugh trembling in my chest and I felt I had to open my mouth to release the joyful sound. Letting it flow through my body washing away the difficulties of last night. After a moment of this I forced it back down until a great grin covered my face, surely.

I didn't think, I ran, forgetting the aches in my body I ran to the sea that I knew would still be there.

_Never changing. _That's what it was. Splashing through the water had been the first thing my siblings and I had done when we'd come here a second time. Stripping shoes and the sweaters of our ridiculous school uniforms off and just played. And laughed.

So that's what I did, just ran down the hill through the apple orchard that surrounded this magnificent place, to the sea. I smelt the salty air before I ever saw the water but when it did finally come into view I let out a little squeal of delight. I really couldn't help myself.

My feet barely touching the ground I was running so fast now, I didn't slow until my feet sank into the soft sand at the edge of the delightfully clear blue water.

_There's no water like this anywhere. _I thought, memories of the Dawn Treader floating through my memory adding to this wonderful moment.

My feet moved of their own accord into a delighted dance, salty water splashing upon my bare legs as I moved to deeper water the waves collided with my body soaking me though for the second time that week, but this time I was not fighting it.

After who knows how long, I collapsed on the pure white sand of my former home, sighing in bliss at the castle above me. I closed my eyes and quickly opened them again to make sure the view would not disappear just like that.

It didn't.

I lay soaking in the warm sun almost wishing I was lying on the deck of the Dawn Treader sailing to an adventure with my siblings and Caspian, _especially Caspian_. _Mostly Caspian. _I thought, too happy to feel guilty for it.

We wouldn't just be King and Queen, we'd be anything but, be whatever we wanted. Lying on the deck of our ship at night lazily looking at the stars. His arm around me, pulling me closer so I could rest my head on his chest. Listening to him breathe. His velvety smooth accented voice tickling my ears as he whispered his thoughts, his dreams...

I was gazing unseeingly at a perfectly blue sky that seemed to reflect off the water and not even trying to stop the delighted grin that to anybody would probably think looked a lot crazy.

_And then he might kiss me..._ My thoughts trailed off as I tried to imagine a moment like that with a king like him, _no, _I corrected myself. _Not with someone like him, with him._ I was still so deep in the midst of these thoughts that I didn't hear anyone coming up behind me.

"Tell me, young lady, just what might you be doing down here?"

I jumped, flipping onto my stomach pushing my hands into wet sand to shove to my feet. Trying to pull my gown down to decency in the process, though I imagine at my knees is indecent and that's as far as this torn rag was going. _Oh well. _

The person that had spoken was, indeed, not a person, but a beautiful horse.

I stood stunned for a second the shock of being near an animal that could speak again was...both exhilarating and strange at the same time.

The horse spoke again, tossing its head proudly. "Are you just going to stand there daft, young lady, or move off of my part of the beach."

I shook myself out of it asking. "How is this your part of the beach?" I was not aware horses owned the land around Cair Pairavel. No matter how long I'd been gone, this seemed beyond strange.

The horse pawed her delicate hoof making droplets of water splash around us. "My family and I have lived on this land since before I was a little one," She shook herself arrogantly. "And we do not like strange human trespassers."

I looked at the horse with a half-smile almost disbelieving of the horses insistence that this was her home, and maybe it was. I had been gone a long while and not wishing to argue with the stubborn animal I said. "I will be on my way very shortly," I glanced back at the horizon, the sun now high overhead, and my spirits still equally high. "I just had to see this place again." I smiled at her.

She snorted again, disdainfully. So I turned on my bare heel headed back up towards the castle.

I hadn't made it very far when I heard a clip clopping coming up behind me.

"Excuse me!" The horse whinnied out. "You didn't tell me who you were." _I thought you wanted to get rid of me. _At my confused expression she hastily said. "To make sure you don't come here again."

I started to argue that, how, exactly, knowing my name was to keep me from coming here again. But instead I smiled kindly at her, introducing myself. "I'm Lucy."

"Well then, Lucy, you may be on your way now." If she'd been human she would have been fluttering her hands at me, gesturing at me to be on my way. I smiled at the thought and asked her a question of my own. "And what is your name, if I may?"

She tossed her head again, the sun glinting off golden hide, making her dazzling and hard to look straight at in the sunlight. She sparkled like a rare gem. "Yes, well, perhaps you might've heard of me? My name is Dannsair."

"Quite nice to meet you Dannsair" I smiled politely at her again and glanced at the sky, the sun a little past being overhead now. "I really must be going."

"Quite right you should. You should be ashamed of yourself, young lady!" Dannsair exclaimed.

I smiled, puzzled at the horses strange behavior. "Ok then, goodbye Dannsair." I said my goodbye quickly before she could accuse me of something else.

I had again barely gotten ten steps away when I heard her coming after me again. "You said your name is Lucy, did you not?"

"I suppose I did." I kept walking back up the hill towards the castle.

"That's a strange name for a girl, such as yourself, don't you think." She replied a little snidely and it wasn't really a question.

I was somewhat appalled at her. What had I done? I said as much to her. "I don't see what's much wrong with my name, if you don't like it, I won't trouble you with my presence any longer."

I picked up my pace, not quite a sprint, but nearly.

The horse, Dannsair snorted in derision of my statement. "I was not insulting you child. Lucy is a perfectly lovely name."

I felt dizzy from this conversation. "Then why, may I ask you, is it such a strange name for me?" I asked this letting some annoyance come into my voice.

"For a peasant girl," She said like I would gather her meaning." Like yourself," She added seeing only confusion on my face. Then with a huff. "You must be from far away indeed, to not know that the name, Lucy, among our people is held to higher standards."

I nodded, some understanding coming to me now. "And why is this?" But I think I already knew.

Dannsair studied me skeptically, probably expecting me to laugh at the ridicule of my question. "Well, you see," She looked a little flustered now. I smiled encouragingly. "Lucy was the name of a dear Queen that once ruled long ago. Queen Lucy of Narnia, that is, Lucy the Valiant."

I sighed at hearing my old titles, it felt somewhat refreshing to hear the name off someone's lips and they not know that I was actually standing right in front of them. I spoke abruptly stopping whatever else Dannsair would have to say on the matter of my being Queen. "Do you think you could help me out Dannsair?"

The horse looked positively mad at having been interrupted. "What would you like to know young one, perhaps a lesson in manners." She said this haughtily and I bit my lip on a grin.

_I bet she wouldn't say that if she knew that I am Queen Lucy. _

"I would like to know as to where King Caspian now resides after his return of the Dawn Treader? Is he staying near here?" I could hear her outraged thoughts almost as if she'd spoken them aloud and after a moment's shock she did.

"You speak very plainly of our King; we do not like strangers taking lightly to his Majesty. Your lack of respect is quite rude." She stated evenly.

I wasn't smiling now. I hadn't spoken lightly of Caspian. _If she only knew how much I respect him. Maybe a little too much. _I chewed thoughtfully on my lip, what could I say to convince her that I was not just a servant even if I looked the part ?I hated the fact that if I was a commoner, even if I wasn't, that I wouldn't be able to see Caspian. This seemed very unfair and not at all Caspian-like.

I wondered if he knew that some spoke and believed like this. This was something that could eventually cause war in Narnia, if enough people were behind it. I'd seen it happen before.

I made a promise to bring this up when I saw Caspian again. _When, not if. _I thought forcefully.

So caught up in these thoughts that I had ignored whatever Dannsair had said next and she shoved me with her nose to get my attention again, I stumbled almost falling. "Hey!" I protested.

"Pay attention when I'm talking, young lady!" Right about then I'd had enough. I could find Caspian on my own. I turned to head up to the castle again. _This time I am going to get there. _I promised silently.

"Goodbye Dannsair!" I said with some finality. She didn't respond.

I headed up the hill, making my way back to the spot in the apple orchard where I'd been lying. I could start from there, I knew the way to Calormen. I think.

But on foot it would take a couple days, at least, and I had no provisions for the journey. _Perhaps some of our old things are still here. _I pondered that. _Maybe, just maybe. _I turned, redirecting my steps to the old entrance where Ed, Peter, Susan and I had first discovered this had been our castle, once upon a time.

I grasped the handle, which was surprisingly clean despite having not been in use, and wrenched it hard, expecting it to be hard to open. I stumbled as the door swung open quite easily and dragged me with it.

I tumbled back onto the ground. "Ooph!" Various parts of my body throbbed from my experience of the previous night as the ground jarred them back to life.

I shoved back to my feet brushing, uselessly at my torn nightgown. First thing to do? Find some clothes! Stopping my worthless effort, I stared into the hallway the door had opened to.

It was so much cleaner than I remembered. Puzzled I let my eyes wander up and down the stone hall. Shaking my head because I could not come up with any good reason for the change, I started in. My bare feet made slapping sounds on the cold stone floor as I walked through, making a left turn to head towards the throne room.

I shivered slightly. It was strange being in here by myself. _No one knows where I am. _The thought sent fresh chills down my back and I picked up the pace, sprinting to the room.

I entered after just a few moments; I glanced around hurriedly, wanting to be out of there as soon as possible. Something made me pause, and I made my eyes stop and go slowly over the interior of the room. It was clean in here too.

But not just clean, it was basically spotless and repaired too. I continued, looking on quizzically. This room had been partially destroyed the last time I'd seen it. I frowned in thought.

_Who's been here? Are they here now? _The thought made me excited; if someone was repairing the castle then they might could help me find Caspian. And if not then maybe give me a ride to Calormen. But surely this must be Caspian's doing. Nobody else really had the right, or the desire, probably.

I stopped my rambling thoughts when my eyes landed on my old trunk, which still sat on the far left of the room next to Edmunds. Except now, newly polished and looking gorgeous in the room, the others had been polished to, of course.

I walked over to the chest, running a hand over the top, tracing the scrollwork that was etched into the dark red wood, gilded in dark grey silver. Smilingly, I reached for the latch pulling the lid up and open.

It was almost empty. _No daggers. _Was my first thought, I shouldn't have been disappointed though, Caspian would have kept them along with Ed's sword and Eustace's small rapier. _And Susan's bow. _I added, silently remembering that I had borrowed it last time.

There was, however, clothing still in the chest and I had already shoved my hand deep into the chest when I remembered too late that I was now around the size Susan had been the last time she'd been to Narnia.

I groaned out loud, for there was no one around to hear and scold me for it. Susan's dresses had been so..._unpractical. _I really needed something, well, like pants. I grimaced and rummaged further into my trunk, hoping that something would appear that was my size.

It didn't, of course, so I headed over to Ed's trunk shoving it open to see if there _was_, perhaps, a pair of pants that was very small. I pulled out a pair and held them to my body for consideration. I turned them a little, pondering maybe finding a length of rope or something to hold them up.

I tossed them back into the trunk in frustration and shoved the lid. I was wasting time on clothes.

I came to Susan's trunk which was a lighter wood than mine and heavily gilded in gold. _She loved this thing. _I half smiled at the memory.

Opening it up, and expecting to see all sort of finery, instead I glared into the trunk. There was nothing in it_._ _Why are her clothes gone? _I nearly slapped a hand to my forehead. Surely Caspian hadn't had them removed?

I slammed Susan's lid in annoyance, the sound echoing in the great room, so loud I jumped.

_He didn't have mine moved._

I shook the thought away, that wasn't fair; anyone who saw Susan's dresses would know they had been worth a lot, and mine, not so much. He would've been a fool not to have put them somewhere safe. Here any thief could steal them with little or no effort.

It still made me angry. I was a queen after all, were my dresses not good enough?

I stopped myself, shaking my head in disbelief at my attitude. Was I really being so ridiculous over clothing? That wasn't the real reason it bothered me and I knew it. But I pushed the thoughts away and instead headed back to Ed's trunk and grabbed a long tunic out of it.

It was at least a bit longer than my ripped gown, coming to just at my knees. And the dark green cloak I grabbed matched the tunic, would keep me concealed if I needed cover on my way through the forest if I couldn't get help on the way. I had no real idea if Narnia was at peace right now, it could very well be dangerous to walk anywhere alone. It made me wish for any of our old weapons.

Looking around the room one more time, I shut Ed's lid and headed back the way I'd come.

**~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~**

I stood on a great hill looking out over Cair Paravel. I had just climbed up here to see if I could see anyone in any direction. I really would like to have some provisions for my hike to Calormen.

Who's to say if they would even be friendly when, or if, I made it there? They weren't always the most reliable people in my lifetime. I shaded my eyes with one hand and squinted into the sun that still shone brightly overhead, though noticeably lower than it had been.

I studied the horizon slowly, until my stomach gave a horribly loud growl. I had not eaten properly since almost two days ago. I licked my lips and gave thanks that the apple orchard had been ripe with red apples. I picked one up biting into it, savoring the juice as it dripped off my chin.

I was halfway through my second apple when I heard a shout. _What? _I blinked out of my sleepy daze. I jerked to attention and stared down the hill.

I saw men. Counting at least a dozen right off... and they were pointing at me. I gulped a piece of apple down hard; they made me nervous for some reason. They continued pointing at me, shouting at each other.

I picked up my last three apples shoving them into the pockets of the tunic; they bulged with the little weight.

I paused waiting to see what the men were doing. My mouth fell open a little as I saw that every man had disappeared. _Did I imagine them? _The second the thought formed I heard something in the trees behind me. I swung around staring intently into the dense trees the opposite of the way I'd gotten up here.

I hesitated for a moment. Why would they be after me? There was absolutely no _logical _explanation for it. Oh, dear Aslan, I sound like Susan!

I distinctly heard a limb crack under someone's foot now and listening harder, I heard a murmur of male laughter.

Maybe it was foolish but I opened my mouth and called out. "Who's there?" Trying to make my voice steady. I heard outright laughter at my question.

I was also getting a very bad feeling about this.

A second later I heard a man's deep scratchy voice call out saying. "Stay put little sweetheart, we're nothin' to be fraid of."

I tensed. _Aslan, I could really use some help right now. _I took a step backward away from the direction the man's voice had come from.

He spoke again. "Now, now, little darlin' we ain't goin' to hurt ye." I cringed waiting for him to appear.

"We just wanted to help ye out a bit..." He trailed off as if he were thinking. "And maybe ye could help us out a little while." His crude insinuation got my feet back moving. I scampered a few feet away wondering where I could go.

I bit my lip hard. _They probably have me surrounded. _The apples I'd eaten turned over in my stomach at that. I had no weapon. But I couldn't, no; I _wouldn't _stand here and be dragged off by a band of ruffians.

I had one choice as far as I could see. And that was run into the forest with the men and hope I was fast enough to find a hiding place or find a flying Pegasus to escape on. I was betting on the aforementioned.

That or I could stand here and- well let's not think about that. I was in motion now. Going from standing to an all-out run in a second, bounding to the trees, praying I would make it out alive, or rather, in alive.

The outraged shouts of men surrounded me and I nearly felt paralyzed with fear but I forced my legs to hold me up and keep moving. _Faster! _I ordered myself. _Come on! Imagine this is a race against...Susan! _The thought, even if it was fake, of losing to Susan, made me faster.

It worked for a minute or so. The men were pounding through the brush with no other thought other than to find me. That was what really had my attention.

And I was tiring already. I already had a painful stitch in my side, but I refused to stop, even when I was almost bent double, hand pressed to my side in an attempt to ease the pain.

"Aslan, Help me."I gasped the prayer in time with the steps I was taking.

I had veered to the right when I man rose up out of the brush in front of me. I bit down a scream, and tried to go around him but I was going too fast. The scruffy looking man, dark skinned and laughing at my attempts, arms wide like he was going to catch me.

I couldn't slow and I bowled into into the man, hard. I heard him roar as he tried to keep us upright but we both fell, me on top. He tried to force large arms around my middle and I am not sorry to say he earned a kick to his large bulky frame as I forced my way up, I saw another man emerge from behind us as I took off again.

I didn't look back. They were still after me. Where could I hide? I couldn't keep this up much longer.

In my frenzied mind I tried to remember the land around my former home, it would not do to just being going in a circle back to Cair Paravel. I was going to Calormen or whatever city, town, came first, provisions or no.

At this rate I'd probably be there by sundown.

I was really slowing now even when I could still here the men behind me, their hard voiced sounded fainter. I heard something. I tilted my head trying to hear over the pounding of my heart. It took a second but I distinguished it.

_The river!_ My memory had served right, there were caves all around here, and surely I could house myself in one for a few hours and be safely hidden. I scrambled over rocks falling to my knees only once, the sharp rocks bringing tears to my blue eyes.

I jumped wading through the shallow river and up the other side of the steep embankment. I grabbed whatever would hold my weight, rocks jabbing harshly into my now raw hands. I spotted several crevices that could have easily kept me hidden but I wanted to be as far as I could in case the men came this far.

I waded across the river twice more to be safe and my eyes nearly missed a tiny crevice that, if the water had been up, would have been impassable to human. I made my way to the hole lowering myself and curling into the hole, hoping no animals resided there.

As I relaxed back into the crevice. I listened and hearing nothing I made my way back further, resting my back against rock.

I don't know how long I stayed there but I heard footsteps come and go, and still I waited. Dark came and I felt myself drifting to sleep. I let the darkness envelope me.

~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~

I yawned widely and tried to stretch in the claustrophobic hole. The sun just starting to wake up itself. _I need to get out of here_. I was trying to make my tired eyes open when a voice said loudly...

"Well its about time!" The declaration seemed to echo in the early morning stillness.

**I just had to leave this a cliffhanger. So if you want to know who it is, review! ;)**


	8. Long Live

_**So I tried to make this as long as I could...and I don't think 8000 words is too bad. Sorry it took so long to update I had it all written down, I just needed to type it up, which took forever. **_

_**And this one might be a little slow, I had to get Lucy from Cair Paravel to Calormen and it took a while...and I also had to go ahead and throw Caspian in there somewhere, so this was the result.**_

_**Oh and I know Calormen is probably nothing like it was in the book, I sort of cheated and made it how I imagined... ;) This is fanfic we're supposed to that, right?**_

_**Chapter 8- Long Live **_

I didn't even have time to be afraid. I tensed and the voice spoke again, shattering the previous moments early morning silence.

"Well don't just sit there child, get out of that hole." And for good measure. "You look ridiculous." I stared straight up into the white speckled face of Dannsair.

"What are _you _doing here?" I held a hand to my forehead shielding my eyes against the early morning sun. Yesterday's fright coming back to mind, I jerked trying to see everywhere at once.

The horse was speaking again. "Come on out then, don't be shy, you certainly weren't anything of the sort yesterday."

I stretched slightly, aching all over. I groaned but pulled myself out of my uncomfortable hole, to face my I sat facing her, feet still dangling in the hole, only then did she continue.

"Are you alright then child?"

I stared. Was that actual concern on the contrary animals face? This was a twist.

The horse snorted in frustration. "Are you alright, Lucy?" She asked again, using my name this time, exasperated.

"I'm sorry," I started uncertainly. "Are you talking to me?" I had to be sure.

She seemed to prance in place. "Of course I am; do you see anyone else around?" The sarcasm now back in her voice.

I gave her a look. "Then I guess my next stupid question is why are you asking me that?" I said it with thinly veiled annoyance. Lack of food, sleep, and being chased by thieves did that to a being.

She flicked her tail at me. "Why, the men of course! After I'd asked if you were traveling with them, they asked me which way you'd gone." She stopped for air, and I stared in horror.

"What did you tell them? Where I was at?" This explained the attack.

She snorted. "I'm getting to that if you'll just be quiet for a moment.'

_Me? Be quiet? _I started to ask outraged. She seemed oblivious to my outrage though and continued merrily on.

"So I told them where you went and that if you were my girl, you wouldn't be running off like that, oh no, not without seeing my sharp side."

I waved my hands at her, gesturing to make her stop speaking, trying to get a word in edgewise.

"What are you waving at child?" She questioned irritated.

"I am not traveling with them!" I managed. It was all I could think of.

If she had been a person I was sure her hands would have been perched on her hips in an annoyed fashion. "You shouldn't lie, you know. It's quite rude, I should-" I cut her off again, glancing around warily. _I really should be on my way. _

"Really, I am not lying; I am not traveling with those..." I searched for the right word. "Ruffians."

She sniffed arrogantly. "Why should I believe you, young lady? If your rudeness and lack of manners is anything to go by, there is no reason why I should believe that you wouldn't belong with men such as that."

I didn't answer her right away and she took advantage of the pause.

"I have no reason to believe you, for all I know you are a runaway slave for those men." She really had my attention now. "I could call them back here, I'm sure they couldn't have gotten far yet." She sounded a little devilish.

I glared.

Now would be an excellent time to bring up my real identity as queen. But I suspected if I did, she wouldn't believe me. I had no proof.

I wrapped a dirty strand of hair around one finger, trying to come up with anything that would save me. _I could always hit her with a really big stick and run. _I shook my head biting my lip at the thought.

Dannsair tossed her elegantly shaped head impatiently. "Is that it then?" She turned. "I'll just call them back." Her body tensed a rumbling coming from deep in her broad chest.

I knew what was coming. An earsplitting neigh you would be able to hear from miles. I pushed to my feet, not thinking, diving for her.

She shied at my sudden movement. "What?" She squealed. I wrapped an arm around her muzzle, trying anything to keep her quiet.

"Please," I begged. "Be quiet." And then I remembered something that might keep her quiet if only for a moment.

The ring.

It was a longshot I suppose, but my only proof that I was Narnian. It was a symbol of our people but the ring had the look of royalty, which had perplexed me the most when Thomas had given it to me.

Amidst these thoughts I was being tossed like rag doll in the hands of an overeager toddler. I grimaced trying to keep my hold, but she swung her head around, having had enough of me, at the last second. Her head just glanced off my cheekbone, but it was more than enough, and I fell bodily into the ground, releasing her neck and muzzle.

I blinked finally understanding what seeing stars meant. Groaning I rolled over and reached to feel my face, wincing as my fingers just lightly brushed it.

"What was that for?" I moaned voicing my complaint. "I wasn't trying to hurt you!" _Just trying to get you to be quiet! _

She now stood over me with a look that I swear would have been a smirk on a human. I closed my eyes. When I opened them again she looked a little guilty.

"Come, child, quit feeling sorry for yourself and get up." She ordered me bossily.

I rolled onto my knees, angry. "Why don't you just leave me alone?" I exploded. "Forget you ever saw me and I'll be on my way, out of your sight forever!"

She took a small step back from my fury. "I just wanted you to tell the truth." She defended herself. "And you attacked me!" She accused.

"I was trying to keep you from calling a pack of ruffians down on us both! Killing us or worse! Do you think they would have left you alone after they'd gotten to me?" Angrily I tried to lower my voice I hissed. "And you wouldn't believe the truth if I told you!"

Not bothering to wait for her next scolding words I slid the ring off my finger. I slid it into her line of vision. "This is the only thing I have to convince you of who I really am. That I am of the Narnian people." Surely no one would carry the ring for no reason.

"Hold still girl, your hand is shaking." She scolded and I realized that it was indeed shaking with fury. I forced myself to take a deep breath to calm down.

I saw her gaze studiously at the ring in my open palm. She was only quiet for a moment before she said. "Come closer." I obliged, warily.

Dannsair studied it a bit longer, finally saying. "Where did you get this?" Now it was she who was wary.

I wasn't sure how to answer that. "I-" I thoughtfully hesitated. "A friend gave it to me." I figured that was as close to the truth as I was going to get.

"A friend?" She muttered.

"Yes, he gave it to me a few days ago, in fact," I bit the edge of my lip and gave his name too. "His name is Thomas." I still looked around every few moments or so, as to make sure we weren't being watched. As I looked back at Dannsair I watched her nearly black eyes as she debated with herself.

She snorted, striking the ground with a back hoof.

One more glance over my shoulder and I asked. "If it's all the same to you, I'd like to go somewhere more...covered." We were pretty much fully out in the open beside the river. _An open target. _And after last evening I was not taking any more chances.

She snorted again but followed me as I waded into brush almost as tall as I was. We entered the forest. I cringed a little at the thought of snakes that would most likely be crawling freely among the thick foliage.

"And this friend," Dannsair startled me out of snake infested thoughts. "Is he near here?"

_Is England considered to be close to Narnia? _"Not really." I murmured.

She moved faster now crushing the plants easily under her weight and coming back to my side. "And am I to believe that you were just wandering out here by yourself?"

Truthfully her question was reasonable. I _had _just appeared out of nowhere. What should I expect her to believe? I would've been suspicious too.

I stopped, looking at our surroundings of trees and thick bushes. "I am not even from around here." I started stating the obvious. I ignored her 'I guessed that look' and said. "I'm actually not even from this world." I swallowed, my mouth dry. I really should have gotten a sip of water from the river.

I knew I'd have to get some before long; I'd have no choice if I really was going to Calormen. _This is where the provisions would've really helped...like say...a water flask. _I thought grumpily_._

I was just debating my water problem as I waited for Dannsair's response to my outrageous statement. Perhaps she'd still give me up to the men. I was just starting to regret my decision to tell the real truth when Dannsair said. "Where might you be from then?"

"Well," I muttered. "I am a Narnian but I don't live here, at least, not anymore. I live in a faraway place called England." I tried to make my words sound somewhat believable.

The horse seemed to take this all in stride. "I've never heard of the place."

I nodded thinking it would've been strange if she had.

"And tell me child," She continued. "How do you expect me to believe exactly how you got here?"

I grimaced. _Too late now. _"My brother and I were out in a storm a few nights ago, where we're from-" I tried to explain but I knew I wasn't really making a lot of sense to her.

"Is this a long story?" She interrupted, her ever present impatience showing clearly.

I went on, ignoring her. "We were running from..." I halted remembering that I really had no idea just who they'd been, even less of a clue than as to who the previous night's men were.

I had entirely too many questions and no answers.

"From what?" She raised a horsey eyebrow.

I rushed on. "I really don't know but we were being chased and during this huge storm I sort of...just ended up here." I shrugged hurrying to the result rather than linger on the details of how it had come to be. It was too long and too crazy of a story. And I didn't trust the horse that well yet.

She seemed to contemplate my story. I walked on trying to stay near the river, following the outer edge of the forest. I blinked, glancing back when I heard the murmur of Dannsair's voice.

I almost asked her what she'd said but I realized she was muttering to herself, staring unseeingly into the forest. I could just make out snatches every now and then.

"Strange-"... "Little girl-"..."girl, brother, rain" But it was the last two that really caught my attention.

"Deep Magic." I stopped abruptly when I heard those two in particular.

"What?" I asked before I thought of myself.

Dannsair's head swiveled back around and her dark eyes looked dangerous when they connected with my blue ones. "What is it dear?" She sounded annoyed at having been interrupted out of her thoughts.

I nearly dropped the question but something made me say. "I heard you say Deep Magic."

She looked incredulously at me for a moment. So long I felt uncomfortable under the critical look in her eyes, like I was crazy for even asking that question. And maybe I was.

I turned away. _I really could use that drink of water. _I pushed brush aside with a raw hand, making a new path back to the river. And ever waiting for Dannsair's responses to my nothing-less-than-crazy questions and statements.

I hadn't wandered very far from the river so it didn't take me long at all to make it back into the open. I paused before stepping out of the cover of trees, listening and scanning the surrounding area to make sure we were still alone.

We were.

For the moment anyway.

I precariously made my way down the bank, half sliding, half falling down it, continuously watching my surroundings for the presence of unwanted visitors.

I knelt on one knee cupping a palm into the deliciously cool water, bringing it to my parched lips when Dannsair answered my question with one of her own.

"What do you know of the Deep Magic?"

I waited, not answering her right away, thinking of one of the last times I'd heard those words.

Our first trip to Narnia seemed thousands of years ago but the memory of Aslan sacrificing himself on the stone table for Ed was still so clear it still took my breath in awe.

Aslan had spoken of a magic deeper than anybody knew that night.

The painful memory of watching the Great Lion be killed before our very eyes made my eyes bleary in remembrance. Susan had been by my side that night.

_I learned a lot that day, and left a lot behind. _I thought, almost wistfully.

Coming back to the present I drank deeply of the fresh water, having my fill before answering Dannsair's question. I couldn't help a small secret smile as I said. "Aslan once spoke of it." I waited, not turning to gauge her reaction.

But when she did speak she surprised me greatly with. "You are not who you say you are, Lucy, you have a great many secrets, I think."

"Not so many as you'd think Dannsair." I replied in kind.

She stood watching me for a moment. "Then who are you really, Lucy?" I smiled halfheartedly. I'd come this far already why not tell who I really was?

"My name _is _Lucy," I said quietly. "Lucy Pevensie. And the reason I was at Cair Paravel is I wanted to see my old home again." That, at least was partially true, I _had_ wanted to see my old home. I just hadn't really had a choice in the matter.

"And you have a sense of humor too, I see." She said, so easily disbelieving.

"I am not joking." I whispered standing and starting back to the cover of trees. She followed not wanting to leave my statement unaddressed.

"Child, stop!" She ordered, slowing my headlong dash back into the forest.

"If I am not to be mistaken, you wish me to believe that you are..." She hesitated with the truth. "Queen Lucy the Valiant? The Warrior Queen of Narnia?" She said the last part fast so as to get the insane over with.

I sighed with some apprehension. "I do not wish for you to believe. I am just trying to speak the truth, as you wished."

"Alright then, Lucy Pevensie," It sounded dangerously close to a mockery in her mouth. "Where is it you wish to go?"

I turned, shocked. "You believe so easily now?" _Surely not. _

She considered this. "Perhaps I do. Perhaps I do not. Maybe it seems more believable because you are too well spoken to be a slave. And yet your clothing would suggest..." She let the sentence dangle between us and I thought it was all she would say on the matter but she spoke again.

"But if you truly are Queen Lucy, I must say you look nothing like the paintings I've seen of you."

This seemed so completely different than what I'd expected to come out of her mouth that I nearly burst out laughing. Instead a smile swept across my features and I said.

"I never thought so either."

~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~

So with my new found, not-quite-believing-but-not-quite-disbelieving, self-appointed companion I was now well on my way to my planned destination, Calormen.

And something I learned relatively quickly was that Dannsair liked to talk. She chattered endlessly, which I was beginning to think would kill me long before we ever reached Calormen.

But she kept me company, which I appreciated so I did not complain, at least not outwardly.

After hours of her talking I finally asked a few questions of my own, my usual curiosity coming over me. "Will your family not miss you?" I asked this thinking of the fuss she'd made about Cair Paravel's beach.

She answered pleasantly, switching subjects smoothly. "Oh they will not even notice I'm gone." This seemed sad to me, that the horse's family wouldn't miss her. I looked back at her.

"You can go back, if you want," I offered. "I know the way to Calormen." _I think. _

Dannsair snorted and started muttering about the foolishness of young girls saying. "What would everyone think of me if I let Narnia's Queen wander through the Great Woods by herself?" I rolled my eyes. She was enjoying this rather too much, taking the roll of my guardian.

She had accepted my being Queen, or partially accepted it, so easily that it still made me wary of her. _Something about Thomas's ring made her believe I was telling the truth. _I thought uneasily. The look in her eyes when she'd seen it convinced me of that.

This made me wish Thomas was actually here so I could ask him where he'd gotten it, and what the third symbol meant.

But he wasn't, and I really needed to get to Calormen. So onward we went, the first day passing more quickly than I would've dared hoped. We stopped only to get water and if I saw some wild fruit, berries that I knew I could eat.

And of course whenever Dannsair saw the 'absolute greenest patch of grass she ever saw' and just had to stop and graze for a moment.

So the second day dawned regardless of my complaints. My stomach growling painfully and my body aching, unsurprisingly. The night had been cold but I'd been too tired to care. The sunlight was just now starting to trickle between dense tree limbs and casting shadows all over the green landscape surrounding me.

I closed my eyes back preparing for another quick nap before we moved on. I had barely settled back into a comfortable, or as comfortable as you can possibly be on hard ground, position, when Dannsair's bright, chipper voice jerked me unpleasantly out of my sleepy daze.

"Come on Lucy! We must be on our way if we're to make it to Calormen by nightfall!"

I cracked an eye back open, groaning. "Just give me a moment." And I thought that she had given up until a warm, soft muzzle got shoved into my side, roughly.

"Upsy daisy!" She chirped. "It's nearly past dawn!"

_Past dawn? Dawn? _I screeched inwardly and my stomach gave an unrelenting growl to back up my bad mood. I propped myself up with one bruised, aching arm and with the other shoving her nosy muzzle away. "Nobody should be up this early!" I argued.

I forced aching limbs to support my weight and took a deep breath, stretching. _Quit thinking about all the different ways you hurt and walk on! You get to see Caspian soon! _I told myself.

I glanced sideways at my overeager companion, seeing her expectant look brought to mind a phrase I'd heard Mum use once. _Bright eyed and bushy tailed. _

She looked bright eyed and bushy tailed. The very opposite of how I felt.

I stepped only feet away to the stream we'd discovered last night. I knelt, splashing some on my dirty face. It was then that I heard movement among the trees.

I jerked from my position by the stream, eyes darting to the place the noise had come from. "Dannsair?" I questioned, not seeing her anywhere.

My stomach twisted when I got no reply but I guess that could have been from the lack of food therein. _It's nothing. Probably just an animal. _I made myself think.

I eased back, my eyes looking briefly to the ground for a large stick. More rustling made me jump and look back to the spot.

I still saw nothing.

"Dannsair? Where are you?" I demanded, raising my voice, trying to keep it from shaking and betraying my fear.

I heard a deep chuckle from a bush to my left, making the hair on my neck rise in terror.

_Oh Aslan. _My face, I'm sure was pale as I reached for the nearest limb I could see, which wasn't nearly as big as I would have liked. _A man. _I thought terrified. _The man that I had run into. Literally._

My breathing quickened as I prepared to run.

"Don't be gettin' any ideas there missy." He said stumbling into the small clear area Dannsair and I had found to sleep last night.

I took a step back simultaneously, clutching my stick harder. I swung it in front of me trying to fake a bravado I did not feel. _Where is the Warrior Queen when I need her? _I spat at myself. "Do not come any closer, or you will regret it." I growled at the man.

He brushed a large hand over an unshaven face, chuckling at my words again.

_Dannsair where are you? _

He spoke. "No need for that, I'll not be takin' ye anywhere t'day."

I stared at him like he was just a bit insane, and I'm pretty sure he might've been. Or pretty close to it.

"Why are you following me?" I asked my mouth so dry I could hardly form the words.

"Just followin' orders." He laughed manically again, stepping closer. He reached into a worn, filthy, shirt.

I jumped backwards, throwing my stick forward in a defensive stance, tensing, waiting for him to draw a weapon.

But he didn't, he slowly pulled his hand back out, not producing anything dangerous at all. Just a piece of paper. And then he held it out to me, large hand open.

I hesitated, confused. "What is that?"

"I was jus' told to deliver it girl. Take it!" He lurched drunkenly at me.

I recoiled from him. "Who is it from?" I clarified.

Part of me was wishing it was from Caspian, but if this was his idea of a welcome, I'd personally take him back aboard the Dawn Treader just so I could toss him over the side.

"Come now, take the letter!" The burly man ordered me. And sensing my obvious indecision. "Don't worry yer pretty little head; I've orders not to hurt ye." He laughed. "At least not today."

I cringed in disgust, caught up in trying to decide if I should take the blasted letter or not. My curiosity was going to be the death of me.

I didn't hear the hoof beats until it was too late. The horrible man swinging around in unison with me and I bit my tongue on a shriek.

The man dodged trying to avoid the crazy horse bearing down on him, showing no signs of stopping.

I stood, frozen, waiting to hear the sound of horseflesh on human.

It never came and I swiveled my head in time to see Dannsair swerve at the very last second, swinging her large golden head in an arc that looked surprisingly graceful despite its sweeping the offending man off his feet, flat of his back.

_Did I really get hit by that yesterday? _Was the thought that went through my head, my stance being broken by the golden horse yelling. "Get a move on child! Are you going to wait for him to get back up?"

I bid my unsteady feet to run towards her, but changed directions, running to the fallen man instead, or more specifically, to the letter that lay only feet from him. I heard Dannsair protest, I ignored her snatching the letter in one fluid motion, not breaking stride.

But I came too close. The man, who had lain still up until now, suddenly lunged at me.

My eyes widened and my mouth opened, but nothing came out as the man's large, hairy hand wrapped itself around my bare ankle.

I bounced away on one foot trying to pull it from his grip, falling back as he wouldn't release me.

"Let go!" I finally managed to squeak out.

He just laughed. A sudden burst of anger hit me and I kicked viciously with my free foot, not pausing to revel in it connecting painfully with its target. I heard his curse as it did.

His grip loosened and I wrenched my ankle away, Dannsair now standing over him with a dangerous look about her as I crawled away, now clutching the letter.

I stood trying not to give into my trembling legs. "Lucy, come on already!" Dannsair screeched at me again. I bounded to her side having no trouble following that order now. I grasped a handful of cream colored mane to haul myself aboard; she huffed beneath me and for the third time in two days swung her head around, bumping and nudging me onto her back.

I welcomed her help and was on her back in moments. I gripped her hard with my knees and held handfuls of mane in both hands, preparing for her sudden take off.

I felt the elegant, pale body clench for the lunge she was about to make.

Something made me look back, though.

The man, now on his knees, was looking at me, our eyes met for a brief second and as if I'd been standing right by him I heard his words clearly. "It's not time, when she's ready, there'll be no stopping 'er."

I gasped as I slid backwards, almost falling from Dannsair's back, despite my preparation. I ran my hands deeper into her silky mane to steady myself.

And we ran. All the while I heard the man's last words pounding through my head like a death sentence.

~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~

The steady, _DA-DUMP-DA-DUMP-DA-DUMP _of Dannsair's hooves lulled me into a stupor as I tried not to think about the man's words.

So far it wasn't working.

Those moments played in my head as the miles fell away as we drew ever nearer to Calormen.

What had he meant? Who was _she_? And why would there be no stopping her?

These were my main questions, a few thousand more following suit dancing through my head as I swayed in time with Dannsair's gait.

After a while I tired of the many questions I couldn't answer and tried to force them out of the way for now by talking. Dannsair's path had never wavered once so I asked. "Do you even know where we're at?"

She twisted her head at my words so she could look at me, slowing only a little. "I know every inch of this wood, young lady." She exclaimed showing no signs of doubt in her ability.

I might have believed her too had I now known we were in the Great Woods of Narnia. No one knew every single part of it, it was impossible. The woods were constantly changing with their magic.

So I gazed warily at our surrounding trying to figure out if I had seen that tree a few hours ago. It seemed very familiar.

It was the Great Woods, like a maze, confounding even those who lived near or in its leafy clutches. Needless to say it had long changed since I'd been here.

I sighed, no need to argue with her. "How far do you think we are from Calormen?"

Dannsair bobbed into a trot, making me bounce painfully on her bare back. "Hey!" I protested. "There's no need for that!"

I swear she was smirking as she said. "You ask too many questions."

"I do-" She interrupted my denial with. "We should be there after nightfall or at the latest by early morning."

I turned my eyed heavenward, noting the already deep darkness that had settled in the Woods, the sun not breaking through anywhere. "It _is _nightfall." I stated.

"Perhaps in here, but out there it's probably not yet past supper." She said leaving me no room to argue.

I sighed again. And this time it was followed closely by a huff from the animal beneath me. Silence stretched between us for long moments.

I couldn't take it anymore. "Why is it I walked all yesterday and you could have carried me?" I muttered in annoyance more to break the silence than to just complain.

"Are you so vain you can't carry your own weight now?" Dannsair chided me lightly.

"Of course that's not what I meant at all!" I grumbled. "It would have been quicker and you would have been rid of me sooner."

She laughed at my sour expression. "My you are a contrary thing."

This is how we carried on for the next few hours, drawing steadily closer to Calormen.

_And Caspian. _Is it strange that just the thought of seeing him again was enough to make it hard for me to breathe? I was just so close to seeing him again, I could feel it.

My thoughts stopped dead in their tracks. Was I to see him the very first time again in a torn nightgown scarcely covered by my brother's too large tunic? Covered in dirt, hair tangled and ratty? I grimaced at how I pictured myself. I try not to be vain about my looks but I don't think anyone would refuse me a bath or clean clothes at this point.

Question was where could I get either one before I saw him?

My head slowly started to drop as night came on, Dannsair's rocking steps lulling me into a light doze I slipped forward on her neck, smiling at memories of Caspian and good times to come.

I don't know how long I slept like that but I shot up when Dannsair asked rather loudly. "What are you thinking?" She stopped abruptly when I slipped right off her back dropping heavily into the dirt.

"You did that on purpose." I rubbed my head which had bumped against the unrelentingly hard ground.

"Nonsense I was just asking you a question." But there was laughter in her tone.

I stood back up wearily, brushing at my clothes. "And how far are we now?"

"Not much farther at all." The way she said it made me glance up at her. I opened my mouth to ask her about it, but she spoke stopping what I'd been about to say. "Look ahead."

I swung around looking at the land around us for the first time since I'd been awakened. I brushed hair out of my eyes. Surely I was seeing things? My mouth hung open. Down the hill a ways, barely a mile, I guessed, outlined against a bright sun shining on a new day, was the bustling seaside town of Calormen.

I could see lights already moving as people started their day and just a bit farther the shape of a structure rose higher than the others. _A castle, _I whispered inwardly. _A home for their King if he so chose to visit his people._

A grin worked its way to my lips and I laughed. I had made it. Caspian would be here. Everything else faded away, my aching muscles, my hunger, all I felt was elation.

I grinned at my horsey companion who was looking at me with a questioning look wondering if I had lost it. "Come on!" I choked on my laughter.

I didn't wait to see if she followed, I started for the final stretch of road that separated me from everything and everyone I'd desired to see again.

I- We had made it to Calormen.

The weariness of the last few days just dissipated thinking of seeing Caspian again.

And, of course, everyone else too.

I didn't even realize I'd stopped in my daydreams of seeing everyone again until Dannsair brought me straight back to the present, nudging me in the back. "Where are we going child?" Dannsair eyed me in question.

I slid my eyes to her, tearing them away from the castle giving her a look. "To find King Caspian, like I told you before."

"Dannsair looked on steadily. "You were serious about that?"

I stopped again, this time to raise my hands in an 'I give up' gesture. Dannsair seemed to think this funny as she burst into laughter.

And if you've never really heard a horse laugh then you truly cannot imagine this. It's a deep, chest rumbling, very amused whinny which turns into a high pitched neigh if they are really amused.

And she was. Her neigh high with her mirth.

I crossed my arms scowling. "You think I am trying to be funny?" But the corners of my mouth twitched in amusement. It was impossible for me to be angry when seeing Caspian again was just steps away.

_Steps I should be taking right now. _I grinned inwardly. "Oh just be quiet and come on!" I gave up trying to stop her headed down the hill. Dannsair, mistaking my sudden rush for anger she sped down after me calling. "Get back on."

I grinned again and obliged saying. "Let's see just how fast you can run!"

I had scarcely gotten it out of my mouth and steadied myself on her back when she bolted forward into a dead run. I bounced erratically before settling best I could into her stride. Once again I was reminded of exactly how I'd spent the last few days. _But, _I thought. _It'll be worth it to see everyone again. _

I leaned over Dannsair's silky neck, closing my eyes to feel the warm oceans breeze on my face, letting it catch my brother's cloke, flapping it crazily in the wind like a flag.

Her mane whipped my face painfully but I did nothing to slow her.

Now that my destination was in sight I couldn't think of anything but getting there as soon as possible. I didn't _want_ to think of anything else.

I knew it would hit me later on and I would be dead tired but all I was feeling at the moment was exhilaration. It was amazing. One of the best feelings in the world.

I felt Dannsair slow as she leveled out on the road, breaking completely out of the woods, leading into town. I pulled myself back into a seated position, letting my legs dangle loosely at her sides.

The gates of Calormen loomed high above us, open and surprisingly welcoming. Calormen's people are not always so welcoming to visitors passing through.

"Easy Dannsair." I murmured quietly.

She slowed. "Why are we stopping now? We've almost made it to the gate! You aren't chickening out now, are you?"

I bit my lip wanting to say, not hardly. That I wouldn't pass this up for anything. I slid off her golden back, instead gesturing at myself with one hand. "Look at me."

She did. Disdainfully. "You didn't smudge yourself on my back did you?"

I rolled my eyes at her expression. "My point is, if I go riding into town on you, looking as I do, somebody might decide to come to the conclusion I stole you." It really wasn't that big a deal I was mainly stalling.

She snorted at my explanation, not believing a word of it. "Oh, come now, I have an opinion of my own and I refuse to let anyone draw and quarter you without my consent. Now get back to walking young lady!"

"How comforting." I muttered lightly, her chiding calming me some. I moved on to the gate without further urging. Crossing into sight of the townspeople.

We walked through the gate easily, and no one stopped us. Dannsair was quick to point out.

I still felt nervous so I rested a hand on her withers as we walked, to steady myself.

But as we entered the town I immediately felt the curious and wary stares of some of the townspeople following the slight girl with her magnificent horse. I stiffened.

"Ignore them." Dannsair startled me out of my observations. And I did as she suggested, turning my gaze from the staring people and settling on the castle that rivaled Cair Paravel in size but not in beauty. _But the view inside will be much better. _I laughed inwardly at the notion.

I pulled my eyes away from the castle after just moments, to study the town. I took a breath, breathing in the many smells of the market. Of cooking. The laughter and shouts of too many people in one place at once.

I spotted girls about my age with young handsome lads as they teased them just to make them smile. I would have watched the exchange longer but Dannsair was pulling ahead of me now, leaving me behind, and I hurried after her.

We were fast nearing the castle and I was even faster becoming nervous with excitement.

I spoke for the first time since entering town. "Come on Dannsair." I urged, tired of the slow pace of walking among the townspeople. I broke into an unladylike run, bare feet pounding lightly on the smoothly hardened dirt road.

I swerved around a corner darting aside before I took out someone's food cart. Someone shouted after me, probably the owner. I would've apologized but I was in too much of a hurry now. I vaguely heard Dannsair puffing in protest as she tried not to run anyone over and still catch up to me.

I dashed wildly through one of the busiest parts of town, dangerously sliding in and out of the way of people and horse drawn carts.

But there was no slowing me now.

I darted down another road that looked as if it would take me closer to the castle. I slowed only a bit when I saw I'd made it to the wharf, there were even more people than there'd in the market as fishermen called out prices of the days catch and townspeople bargained for fisher's wives homemade jewelry and other odds and ends. And then there was the ships lined up to unload their precious cargos of silk, food, and other more extravagant things.

I came to a complete stop looking at a particularly large group of people bunched together, crowding to stand at the edge of the extraordinarily blue water.

I tilted my head in observation. They weren't buying, just talking and laughing with each other, glancing frequently out to sea. They seemed to be waiting for something.

_For what? _I wondered silently, I glanced briefly behind me for my golden companion but saw her nowhere. I jerked back to attention of the crowd of people as they gave a great shout.

It was hard not to get excited, even if I did not know what they were so enthusiastic about. Everyone gathered like that, shouting, teasing, and laughing with one another. Nobody caring who they were talking to just so long as everyone was enjoying themselves.

I would have turned then to continue on as originally planned but the people of Calormen's enthusiastic shouts were too much for my curiosity. Were they expecting someone?

Another round of cheers began as soon as someone else quieted. I drew closer.

No one seemed to notice or care that one more child was among them as I slid between them making my way through the knot of people to the water's edge. I reached intent on asking a burly sailor near me just _what_ everyone was waiting for and froze mid-reach. My eyes sliding along the horizon, to a ship gliding smoothly over waves as a brisk wind carried it to shore.

Not _a _ship. I breathed excitedly. _The _ship. The Dawn Treader.

Slowly a grin eased over my face as it came ever closer, slicing through the waves effortlessly.

Everyone in the crowd shifted forward, I leaned with them. Was it possible their King was aboard this ship to return this very day? It seemed too great a thought for it to be true.

I looked harder, straining my eyes across the deck of the ship I knew so well from my last trip to Narnia. Men were darting everywhere getting ready dock. My eyes were searching for a certain man though.

A glimpse of the handsome, cocky, young King. I blinked catching sight of a man standing slightly aft of the gorgeously carved figurehead. From here I made out he was holding a rope in one hand as he stood precariously balancing on the ships railing.

But I couldn't see his face.

I squinted into the early morning sunshine.

The instant I realized that the man was, indeed, Caspian, was the same moment he swung out from the ship, seeming to float in midair... before he let go of the rope.

I gasped on a shriek as his body arced into a dive, looking a lot like when he'd dove over the side to pull me out of the water onto the deck of the Dawn Treader.

My breath whooshed out as he surfaced only a few hundred feet out. I laughed with the townspeople in relief.

Other men now flew overboard following their King to the open arms of their people.

Caspian was a fast swimmer, cutting through the foamy water, coming to land. I tracked his movement along with everyone else.

I didn't realize I had stepped into the water until it picked my tunic up swirling it around my bare legs. Other people drifted in after me, women gathered closer. From the corner of my eyes I could see girls of my age holding dry clothing, and warm blankets in their arms even with the now hot sun scorching us overhead, waiting for their King.

A brief wave of jealousy swirled in my being and I forced it down. _They are just being kind. _

By now when I looked back to the water, a soaking wet Caspian had appeared in knee deep water.

I stood completely still, letting the people and water flood around me. I just watched as he made his way to the beach and to his people's open arms.

The white cotton shirt that was common among sailors made him look even more handsome and kingly. It clung to his body, to the hard earned muscles of a man who worked alongside his people despite being a king.

I stepped back out of the water, suddenly being assaulted by a wave of doubt. What if he wasn't glad to see me? I was here by myself for the first time. For the first time I thought about that. I was alone here.

No brothers to watch my every move and no sister to tell me I shouldn't have said nor did something.

It was as scary as it was exhilarating. I pulled out of the frozen stance, trying to fall out of the way so he wouldn't see me quite yet.

Part of me didn't want to know what he would think of me now, and part of me just wanted to stay back and watch him a few moments longer.

To take in his graceful stride, his easy grin that would melt every girls heart. I didn't want to be one of those girls. Maybe that was the real reason I stayed back away from him.

My heart was rampaging in my chest and made me wish for Dannsair or one of my brothers to latch onto to steady myself.

But I didn't have them, so I fell back some more but for some reason I could not make myself turn around and walk away.

That very second when the shouts of the people escalated so loud it reverberated in my chest, a piercing neigh that was just as high called out above the people.

I winced. "Lucy! Lucy where are you?" I cringed, waiting for the whole crowd to turn and reveal my presence to their King, but out of the hundreds of people only one pair of eyes bothered to turn my way, they were a deep brown that I knew, if the sun caught just right, would shine with flecks of gold.

His gaze flew over the crowd taking only seconds to spot me even when I ducked. A moment passed and our eyes met for the first time and once again I felt like I couldn't breathe.

I bit down hard on my lip, but didn't look away. _Couldn't _look away.

I couldn't read his expression from where I stood. For a moment I wondered if he even recognized me. His eyes slowly slid away from me.

I was still biting my lip as I bounded backwards shoving past people, feeling way too many emotions to even begin to decipher what any of them were.

I didn't know where to go. I didn't really care either, just to get away from that crowd of people so I wouldn't look like a complete fool in front of everyone over a King who had no idea of the true affection I felt for him. I settled for just getting away from the dock for now.

I spotted Dannsair watching the crowd, watching for me. I debated running to her, she had been the closest thing to a friend since I'd gotten here. But no, I wanted to have a second to breathe and calm my raging heart.

I broke into a run, shoving past the few people who had stayed back to watch from a distance. The deep, rich voice I had heard often in my dreams, spoke hesitantly behind me, stopping me.

"Lucy?" His voice saying my name made my stomach flip with butterflies. A masculine hand landed on my arm. I let the hand turn me around gently to face him.

I tilted my head back so I could meet his eyes. "Caspian." I whispered his name, the word probably lost to his ears with the noise from the crowd, though noticeably quieter now, watching our exchange closely.

I made myself look away mostly because I knew if I looked much longer I'd never be able to look away or hide my feelings for him.

By now the crowd had had enough of their King talking or rather staring in...Amazement? At a girl who looked so below him it was a miracle in their eyes that he had even noticed her. Their jeers assaulting my ears.

Caspian had none of it. He gestured to the crowd telling them to be quiet. They did. His voice was calm as he said. "Do you not know who this young lady is?" His voice commanded their attention, demanding for them to look beyond the scruffy girl who stood beside their King to the queen underneath.

There was now complete and utter silence. I felt the eyes of hundreds, maybe thousands that had been on Caspian just seconds before, shift to me. I heard taunts from everywhere.

"Your maid?" One man spoke boldly. I sought him out in the crowd; it was the burly sailor I was going to talk to earlier. I glared distastefully.

I made a sound of protest at whatever Caspian would say next. He ignored me, grasping my small hand in his larger, rougher one. "Why have you not welcomed Her Majesty Queen Lucy of the Golden Age?"

I was greatly mistaken when I said there was silence before. Now it really was silent. You could have heard a pin drop. Everyone continued staring at me like this was some joke, and they weren't at all laughing at it. I glanced down to look at myself through their eyes, knowing I looked more like a street urchin than a queen, let alone the queen who'd earned the title Valiant Warrior Queen.

A whisper ran through the crowd as they murmured among themselves. I raised my head to defiantly stare at them straight on.

Laughter came from some, disbelieving shouts from others, but the one that stood out the most was a rough, small, voice that was very familiar and most welcoming to my ears.

"Long live Queen Lucy! We are honored to have you among us again!" _Trumpkin. _I bit my lip on a smile. Slowly everyone followed suit singing. "Long live Queen Lucy!" Caspian squeezed my hand gently and I looked up at him smiling.

The people praised their Queen, the Queen who had been absent from this land and its people for far too long.

_Praising me._

_**REVIEW...lol...**_


	9. Caspian's Box

_**Chapter 9-Caspian's Box**_

Its hard to say what all happened next, it all happened so fast.

The people of Calormen swarmed to see their King and to a Queen they hadn't even realized stood before them until seconds before.

A lot of 'welcome back your highness' and' glad for you're safe returns' went around through all this Caspian kept his hand wrapped steadily around mine.

And I would be lying to say I did not feel positively giddy with the sensation, or that I got a few less than friendly looks from some of the young women whose main purpose today had been to welcome their King with open arms, literally.

They weren't at all prepared for my unwelcome arrival. _And they wanted to flirt with him. _I added. I didn't realize I had tightened my grip on Caspian's hand, until he squeezed mine gently back.

My face flushed as more people crowded forward, just so they could get a word in to their King, as they did they gradually separated us as they milled around in their eagerness.

My hand slipped from his and I felt annoyed. I pushed the feeling away and instead smiled warmly at the less large crowd that was kind enough to address me.

After a while the crowd dwindled and I found myself nearly as tired as I had predicted just hours ago.

I searched the wharf for somewhere to sit. My eyes landing on the majestic figure of the Dawn Treader instead, now docked and the few remaining sailors aboard, now unloading cargo.

I walked towards it, coming to a stop at the Dawn Treader's side; glancing back to see if anyone had noticed my departure.

They hadn't. That or they didn't care. My eyes skimmed over to Caspian, he stood talking to a small group of young men who looked near his age. Their heads bent together in deep discussion.

I felt a prick of curiosity. What were they discussing? I looked to the Dawn Treader again, feeling a little torn all of a sudden.

I had wanted to speak with Caspian but not with a large group around us, listening to every word and analyzing it. I also wanted to know what they discussed so deeply when he'd just gotten back from the voyage. And yet once again I also wanted to see the Dawn Treader again, to find my daggers. _If Caspian still has them. _Went my cynical thoughts.

Perhaps I was not as free as I had first thought. I shook my head to free myself of these thoughts. Surely if he had wanted to speak with me he would have already sought me out amongst the crowd.

_That, _I supposed. _Wasn't entirely fair. _But it made my mind up, it made me turn to the Dawn Treader and reach out for one of the lines that tied it up, to pull myself up hand over hand.

My presence did not go unnoticed.

I was met by the critical faces of two stout sailors, one of which I recognized immediately.

It was Captain Drinian

His hard look softened into a frown of confusion as he found me familiar. "Your Majesty? Queen Lucy?"

I grinned. "Finally a friendly face." I laughed warmly, feeling relieved that I wouldn't get tossed back onto the dock.

Captain Drinian reached, offering his hand to pull me up the rest of the way. I relinquished my right hand on the rope, grabbing the large weathered hand he'd offered and let him.

I grabbed for the railing to steady myself as I set foot on the ship's deck.

Captain Drinian gave me a quizzical look. "Might I enquire why the Lady is up here when His Majesty is down there?" He nodded a head back to the wharf.

My smile slipped. "Oh, he's..." I gestured my hand in the air vaguely. "Busy at the moment."

Captain Drinian looked like he was about to say something to that and I quickly said. "And I wanted to see the Dawn Treader again, that is," I hurriedly added. "If you don't mind?" I let my rambling sentence trail off into a question.

The man, old enough to be my father chuckled. "I see her Majesty had not changed all that much, except," He gave me an appraising look. "Might I say that you are even more beautiful than I remember?"

I smiled, ducking my head the compliment. It was said as a father compliments his daughter.

The captain's eyes took on a distracted look as we talked a moment; I turned my head to see what had caught his attention.

He was watching Caspian and the group that still enveloped him. Annoyed again, I said a little harshly. "You'd think he would have had enough of them, having seen them every day on board."

A second later I regretted my words as the Captain got an amused look about him, saying. "The Queen wishes for King Caspian to pay her attention?" The man's eyes sparkled with humor.

My face reddened with embarrassment, I made myself say. "Of course not, I just," I muttered hurriedly thinking of an excuse. "I wished to see someone who could tell me what's happened since my brother and I've been gone." I felt relieved that I'd come up with a reasonable explanation for my remark.

The Captain's eyes still sparkled with contained laughter in his weather worn face. "I am not King Caspian, but perhaps I'll do until His Majesty comes to find you."

I nodded in agreement, anxious to get the emphasis off myself. The Captain pointed around the deck. "What is it her Majesty wishes to see first?"

I sighed at the continuous use of my titles. "You can call me Lucy, Captain."

"As your Majesty wishes.''

Shaking my head I followed him to the ships figurehead, taking in the carved dragon. It made me think of Eustace and his short days of being a dragon. A tangy sea breeze swept my hair from around my face, and I sucked in letting it wash over me.

This is what I had wanted for so long, at least partially. I had wanted Caspian to be by my side. I had part of my daydream. _The less exciting part. _I thought ruefully.

My moment was interrupted as the Captain said. "Pardon, my lady, but I must get back to work."

I felt a pang of guilt at having wasted his time, daydreaming, of all things. "Of course, I did not mean to keep you."

The Captain bowed deeply. "It has been a most welcome pleasure Queen Lucy. I trust after you've finished looking, you'll be alright?"

I nodded my head. "I'll go find Caspian and leave you be."

His parting was. "Take your time."

And I did. Wandering about the ship, making my way below. I wanted to find my daggers and healing cordial. Last time Caspian had kept Peter, Ed's, Susan's and my things in a cabinet on board, in his cabin.

Ready for our return.

The thing was. I wasn't supposed to return. I wasn't supposed to be here. What had changed? Why had I been whisked back into the life I had tried so hard to leave behind? Peter had been with me at the bridge. Why wasn't he here too?

These questions filled my head as I found myself at the door of Caspian's cabin; I pushed the door open, eagerly stepping into the largest cabin on board.

Its elegantly furnished interior familiar and unusual at the same time. And it was not entirely tidy either, with a few shirts scattered around the bunk and everything pretty much out in the open.

I smiled, I had never really thought of Caspian in that light. Being messy, kind of like my brothers.

I let my curiosity carry me from the doorway to the closed cabinet beside his bunk. Maybe my daggers would be in there? My hand reached for the little knob and I pulled it open to reveal its contents.

My gaze searched the interior for my things, coming to rest, not on my daggers but a carved wooden box. _It's large enough to hold my daggers and cordial. _I reasoned, suddenly wanting to know just what Caspian kept hidden in it. My fingers deftly pulled the box forward so I could access it better; I fingered the strange latch on the front. I tried flipping it right, then left. All my questions and doubts temporarily forgotten, I just wanted to know what was in this box.

Was it some great secret of Caspian's? That just made me want to open it all the more. After just a few minutes of fooling with the latch, I heard a faint clicking sound that stilled my working fingers. I reached for the lid, it felt loose.

Sliding a fingernail in the crack above the latch the lid opened a fraction.

I smiled in satisfaction. I lifted it further. Just a little...

Someone cleared their throat loudly right behind me. My hand jerked wildly, knocking the box to the cabins hard floor, with a clatter.

I winced, swirling around to see who my visitor was.

_Caspian. _My stomach flipped as I saw it was him. _Stop it. _I scolded myself. _You weren't doing anything wrong._ I convinced myself._ Just looking through his things. _I mocked myself.

His dark eyes took in me and dropped to the floor, then back to me.

I looked down so I didn't have to look into his eyes. My glance down revealed that I _had _gotten the box open and its contents now lay scattered around us on the floor.

Caspian's always graceful movements were hurried as he swooped to gather up the box's contents.

My curiosity still intact, I studied what had fallen, papers, a knife, but not one of mine, and a few books, the last item the only one giving me reason to pause.

_It looks like a piece of jewelry. _I thought just as his hand closed over it, turning his back long enough to shove everything back into the box. I heard the lid snap shut as he set it back on its shelf, closing the cabinet's door with finality.

I took a step back involuntarily. Maybe I shouldn't have been snooping through his things? He didn't turn at first so all I saw was a slightly tense back, betraying his annoyance in finding me here. "I see after all these months your curiosity still remains intact." His voice was dry.

I felt a blush rising to my cheeks, despite my scolding self.

He looked my way when I did not reply. He stepped to me, closing the distance between us so quickly I didn't have time to be surprised. His fingers tilted my head so I had no choice but to look into his eyes.

If he was shocked to find me in here, he hid it well. I was unsure what to say. I couldn't look away. Should I apologize? After a moment he dropped his hand, while I tried to discern the expression in his eyes. Annoyance? Wariness? The latter confused me greatly. Why would he be wary of me?

He stepped away to stride across the cabin unaware of the burning sensation he'd marred onto my skin.

Tired of the silence I squeaked. "I was looking for my daggers." I said it partly to break the silence and partly to give him a believable reason as to why I would have his box.

"I figured as much." Was his only response as he reached into a trunk I had blissfully ignored as a possible hiding place for my weapons. He straightened; in his hand he held twin swords. And my bottle of cordial. He offered them to me without a word.

"These aren't mine." I said taking the bottle of healing cordial and leaving the small swords in his hands.

He acknowledged that saying. "Your daggers are...gone." His hesitation and words confused me.

"I don't understand. Where have they gone?"

Caspian ran a hand through his dark hair. "It's a long story, but I believe they were stolen."

I stared blankly. "Why would someone steal my daggers?" I couldn't help but snap in my frustration.

This Caspian before me was acting distant, aloof. Why was that?

He sighed heavily. "They are yours. Is that not enough?"

The way he said it, condescendingly almost, annoyed me. "No. No it's not enough. There had to be some reason behind it. Did they take anything else?" I searched frantically for an answer to this newest question.

"No, nothing else was taken as far as we know." He explained.

"What-" I started another question.

He spoke quickly to stop me. "I'm sure you have many questions Lucy, but perhaps they can wait until you've had a decent meal? You look like you haven't eaten in days." His glance at my figure revealed the first hint of concern I had seen on his face since he'd first laid eyes on me. "And if you aren't too tired after, then, maybe you can answer a few of my questions."

My stomach twisted in hunger at the words eat and meal. I licked my lips.

Caspian smiled slightly. "Come on Lucy."

I followed in agreement and we started off, exiting his cabin. He reached and draped his arm around my shoulders in a way that seemed almost protective.

I was half starved, tired, and filled with a thousand questions I couldn't begin to answer, so I just let him guide me to the ships side and over the edge.

His arm tightened around my waist and he said. "Hold on to me." His command took me by surprise and he gave me an amused look, grasping my hands and resting them on his strong shoulders. "Hold on." A smirk covered his full lips. "Just until we get down."

I scowled at his expression. "I can-" I was too late. He slipped over the edge sliding quickly down to the dock in a way that said he did it often; I tightened my hold on him. Seconds later his boots hit the dock and he swung me down beside him.

I gripped his arm to steady myself and he leaned his head closer to mine, the smirk still on his face. His dark hair fell over his forehead in a way that mesmerized me. "You can let go now."

I released him like I'd been burned. That it actually felt like I had was completely beside the point. I gave him a shove in my annoyance. "You-"

Dannsair spoke, suddenly appearing behind us. She was positively preening at the sight of Caspian. "Your Majesty." She murmured.

I rolled my eyes. "Caspian, Dannsair. Dannsair, Caspian." I introduced.

Caspian smiled handsomely in greeting. "Pleased to meet any friend of Lucy's."

I couldn't help shaking my head as she arched her neck in pleasure. "Lucy has told me so much about you!"

My eyes widened. _What? _When had I talked about him? Just a few times I'd mentioned him, nothing like she was alluding to.

Regardless, Caspian's amused eyes landed on me again as he said. "Well, it was all good, I trust?"

I opened my mouth to...argue, maybe, but Dannsair carried on heedlessly. "And I must say that you are twice as handsome as she said!"

If I had been eating anything right then I would have choked, but come to think of it, that might not have been such a bad thing. My face flamed as Caspian winked at me.

"Is that so?" He laughed.

Dannsair was looking on in a satisfied way and started to continue her embarrass-Lucy-as-fast-as-you-possibly-can rampage when I tried to stop her.

"Dannsair!" I signaled her with my eyes to be quiet. She didn't listen of course. _Idiot horse. _

"And she even said that-"

"Okay!" I cut her off bluntly now, not waiting to see what she would come up with next. For all I knew she could read my mind and knew all about my little daydream on the beach. "Dannsair," I explained hastily to Caspian. "Exaggerates a great deal.'

She huffed at me. "I do not."

At the cost of not being embarrassed Caspian's eyes had closed, looking aloof again as he said. "Let's not keep the Queen waiting, Dannsair." His words politeness inside and out, so maybe I just imagined the edge it held.

Still it brought me back to the way he'd spoken in his cabin. So condescendingly. It made my back go rigid in anger. "How long has it been since we left, Caspian?" I tried to be friendly and shove off his words.

"How long had it been for you?" He answered my question with one of his own.

"I asked you first." I stated, tilting my head so I could look at him as we walked.

A brief smile touched his lips removing his neutral expression. "Nearly five months."

_Strange. _This was the closest the times had been since our first trip to Narnia. When we'd first met Caspian, it had been only a couple years in our world and over a thousand here in Narnia. The Dawn Treader had been only a few years in both worlds and this time only nearly three months in our world and nearly five in Narnia. _Why?_ I thought. It was curious.

Thinking of our first meeting with Caspian brought back the goodbye of that visit. We had all said our goodbyes and Susan had stood beside Caspian and ever so subtly she had leant forward and kissed him. On the lips. And then she'd said. 'Oh it wouldn't have worked out anyway; I am 1300 years older than you.' If I had been in her place that was the last thing I would have said.

I always wondered how she could kiss him like that and just walk away. The second question that closely followed that one was why couldn't it have been me?

Caspian broke into my thoughts. "What is it Lucy?"

I pulled my gaze away from him; I had been staring at him while I thought as we walked. I chewed the inside of my lip, annoyed at myself. _Make it more obvious, Lu. _Redness touched my cheeks anyway. "I was thinking."

Caspian turned his head to study me. "What were you thinking about?" He sounded curious like he really wanted to know...

"I was-"

"Your Majesty!" A young man I recognized from the group that had surrounded Caspian earlier, called to him.

I was deeply gratified to the young man for his distraction, even when Caspian shot me a look that said he wouldn't be forgetting about it anytime soon, that he'd be asking me later.

The young man had caught up to us by now and spoke breathlessly. "I need," he gasped. "To speak with you."

The man's harried request made every one of my muscles tense in warning. "What's wrong?" I asked.

The young man stiffened, his eyes turning to me. "I apologize; I did not know you had visitors, your Majesty." He purposely ignored my inquiry. _As if we were not standing here in front of you! _

Caspian looked between us. Raising an eyebrow in question. "I'll see you in a moment James." He said, making sure there was no room for argument. On anybody's part.

James nodded in consent. His nervous blue eyes darting to me again with a look I couldn't define. "Excuse me." He muttered, not turning his gaze off me.

And then he was gone. I followed him until he disappeared around a corner from sight.

Dannsair teased. "Looks like you have an admirer."

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes again. "More than likely he was wondering why his King had a dirty street child with him." I made a joke about it but something about James had made me uneasy. I wasn't even sure why. He hadn't looked at me meanly.

Still, I made a little promise to myself to keep an eye on him if he was around again.

Caspian addressed my statement slowly. "No one could mistake you for a street urchin. Trust me on that." His words begged me to look at him.

I resisted, shrugging my shoulders at him. "Perhaps, my King, you haven't looked at me clearly?" I suggested, grimacing inwardly hoping that neither Dannsair nor Caspian noticed my use of 'my'.

I swirled around gesturing at myself.

He amusedly studied me, glancing at my ragged clothing and coming back, lingering on my face until I squirmed a bit under his gaze. "Perhaps you could use some new clothes?" A wide grin broke over his tanned face.

I shook my head, laughing a little at him.

I must confess his teasing does make me smile.

~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~

Caspian had delivered me into the capable hands of Elle, an older woman who seemed very kind.

Caspian had said he would either be at supper that night or I would see him at breakfast the following day.

It made me wonder if the reason he might miss supper, had anything to do with his friend James' vague 'I need to speak with you' comment.

Elle had tsked in disapproval of my appearance and said she'd have a bath drawn right away.

So this was how I came to be stripping my brothers, by now ruined, tunic and cloak off and my ripped nightgown that would never be of good use again.

I slipped into the hot water that smelt of a sweet scent. _Strawberries. _Floated through my mind after brief thought. I let my weary body sink deep into the tub, taking a quick breath I dunked my head under, reaching my fingers to try and free debris and tangles from my hair. I winced as I surfaced, my fingers colliding with painful knots.

My long hair had not been brushed in nearing three days now. It would be a miracle if I did not have to cut it. The door opened behind me and I splashed forward to fully submerge my body again.

"It's just me child." Elle sounded a little amused. She had an armful of bottles that she sat beside the tub, along with a couple of clean towels.

I leaned to get one of the bottles. Elle snatched it back before I could even undo the stopper. "Have patience child, I'm getting to it." She scolded lightly.

I blinked in astonishment. "Oh, you don't have to wash my hair; I do it by myself all the time." I had forgotten some of the luxuries of living in Narnia were always having someone help you to bathe.

"Nonsense, it'll take more than one person to clean this rats nest, anyway."

Half an hour later and still scrubbing through my third tub of water, I fully agreed with her earlier statement. After a few minutes Elle spoke.

"What is your name child?"

"Lucy." I said as I rubbed an arm with vengeance trying to rid myself of dirt.

I don't mind getting dirty but this was ridiculous. It was no small wonder that everyone had turned their noses up at the mess before them.

"And Lucy," Elle said conversationally. "How is it you come to know King Caspian?" Even his name made my flesh prickle with a million different feelings.

"We met a few years ago, my brothers, and sister, we all met him." I gave her a vague answer.

"A few years ago, His Majesty was not the king he is now." She observed.

I nodded "We knew him when he was still a prince." I confirmed.

"And your sister?" I made an hmm noise and she finished her question. "Is your sister Queen Susan?" Elle asked, unaware of the animosity it created in my chest.

"Susan _is_ my sister." I acknowledged, reluctant to enter into the conversation I was sure to come.

"His Majesty speaks highly of the four of you." Elle said continuing on.

_Speaks highly of us or of Susan? _I wanted to snap.

"Lucy?" Elle jerked me out of my thoughts.

"What is it?" I asked as I had drifted into my thoughts again.

"Is everything the same as you remember it?"

I thought about that. Of course everything wasn't quite the same. And yet Narnia always seemed never changing to me, its people changed, but Narnia would always, in my mind, be as pure as the snow I'd first seen the very first time I'd lain eyes on Narnia.

I put that thought into words and swirled in the tub to see Elle's reaction.

Her deep set hazel eyes seemed to look into my soul. "You are wise for one so young."

I felt a prick of pride at her comment. And a little annoyance... "I am not that young." I tried to keep the edge out of my tone.

I heard the woman chuckle as she turned me back around so she could rinse my hair. "No, you are quite right. You are a young lady."

When I said nothing she carried on. "And what does the young lady think of King Caspian? Is he everything she remembers?"

_Everything and more. _Was my answer, but her personal question caught me off guard. Why was it her business? But I didn't want to be rude. "He is a great King." I muttered under my breath, glad I was facing away from her.

"He is," She concluded. "But is he not a handsome King?" Elle prodded me.

I sighed at the old woman's questions. "King Caspian is a very handsome man; I would have to be blind not to recognize that." I decided that was the best answer I could come up with.

"But you must admit that-"

I reached abruptly for a towel. "Elle, I think I'm clean enough, and I am extraordinarily hungry."

"Of course, my lady." I could hear restrained laughter in her voice. "Let's get you dressed."

Was it so obvious I liked Caspian? To everyone but him?

Elle stepped to the adjacent room that was to be my bedroom. I groaned with frustration, hurriedly drying myself. I wrapped my towel warmly around me and stepped through to the other room

Elle was leaned over the large bed that looked as if it could hold about five people but was to be mine. She was smoothing out a dress beside six others before speaking to me. "These were the closest I could find to your size until we can have some made. You'll have to try them on."

I mumbled my agreement, stepping behind a screen that stood near the bed.

Three of the seven dresses fit fairly well. And all three unpractical for the exploring I had already planned after a good night's rest.

But they were all appropriate for dinner with King Caspian, or at least that's what Elle said.

I did not mind looking the best I could in front of Caspian, so I did not protest Elle tightly fastening up the back of the yellow dress I'd settled on of the three that fit.

Its texture was silky smooth against my skin.

_Summery. _I thought with a small smile. It looked summery with its bright yellow color and a slightly darker yellow lace that swooped around the neckline and down the front of the dress.

Its light weight made it more comfortable, still not quite like my normal pants and tunic but a nice change.

With the dress on now, Elle pushed me towards a stool, ordering me to sit down in front of the mirror so she could work on my hair.

She pulled and twisted at my hair, making me cringe in protest, but she kept, on saying it would be over in just a moment. It seemed agonizingly long but she finally announced. "Perfect."

"Can I go now?" I squirmed in my impatience. Caspian had been worried he wouldn't make it to dinner tonight, but I was the one beginning to wonder if I would make it any time soon.

"Just hold," She tugged on my dress one more time. "Still for another second." She brushed a hand over it to make sure it was perfect.

I must have made a sound in my throat of annoyance, because Elle glanced up at me. "So impatient to see his Majesty?"

I couldn't help but smile. She certainly was persistent. "I haven't had a decent meal in close to three days." She looked almost disappointed at my words so I said. "But if he's there I definitely won't object."

The old woman let out a rich laugh. "I think I'm going to enjoy having you here Queen Lucy."

I grinned. "Now come, let's get you fed." She said leading me out the door and down various halls and down a winding staircase to the dining room. Stopping just outside the door she gave me a look over again. "Go ahead, Queen Lucy."

Startled I swung back around to face her. "You're not coming?"

She laughed at the absurdity of my question. "I am not; I'll be having my dinner in the kitchen."

"But-" I started to argue. I did not want to go in by myself.

"Hush now, you'll be fine," She gave me a push to the door. "Now go."

I pushed the large door open slowly and reluctantly, my stomach flipping with nervousness, to reveal...

**Oh you thought I was going to end the chapter there...oopsy. ;D**

Caspian was sitting at the table, along with James and Trumpkin and a few other faces I did not recognize. Everyone stopped talking when I stepped in, their eyes all turned on me.

I swallowed. My mouth dry.

My eyes darted to Caspian, looking to calm my nerves. His brown eyes met mine for the second time that day and I felt like I couldn't breathe.

He stood along with all the other men, never taking his eyes off me. I walked to the chair he offered. Before I could sit though, his hand brushed my arm and I felt myself freeze at the small touch.

He reached for my hand and grasped it in his, bowing slowly so he could brush his lips against my fingers. He looked back up into my eyes.

"Welcome back." He whispered against my skin.

**No, I'll end the chapter here so I can really be mean...ha ha ;)**

**BTW**

**So sorry if this seems rushed. Or that the part with Elle was sort of...just kind of filling space. I wanted to build it up a little until Lucy joined Caspian for dinner. I know Caspian/Lucy did not interact as much as I wanted them to in this chap but I'll definitely try to make up for that in the coming chapters. Anyway...read, review. You know the drill.**


	10. The Courtroom Arguement

**Well I certainly hope everyone appreciates this chapter, seeing as I am up at 1:00 in the morning and I just now finished editing it so I could post it. ;)**

**Anyway I am now trying to really get things moving and maybe start answering some of the questions I've created. **

**Oooh and I definitely can't wait to get to all the really romantic scenes between Caspian/Lucy...they're the best to write! :)**

**One more thing...is anybody interested in knowing what songs I've been listening to when I write some of the scenes? I kind of always listen to something when I write, so if you do just pm me or say so in a review and I'll put the name of the songs and the artist up along with what scene it goes with, in a nonchap or at the top of the next chapter, depending on if I get it written anytime soon...;p**

_**Chapter 10-The Courtroom Argument**_

Every inch of my body felt wound tight at his touch. His welcome back sounded sincere and the chocolate brown eyes that stared up at me were warm and friendly.

Keeping hold of my hand he tugged forward to sit down in the chair to his left.

I sat easily; glad I didn't have to stand. My legs didn't feel like they would hold me much longer.

Trumpkin was seated just beside me. I had just been too caught up in Caspian's eyes to notice until I sat down.

"And how is the Dear Little Friend?" A grin played over my lips as I turned to my old friend.

He grumbled something unintelligible and muttered louder. "How do I come to have Queen Lucy in my presence when I know she told me that she wouldn't be coming back?" His grudging look threw me off a moment until I comprehended that he was teasing me.

But he was right. I wasn't supposed to return. "I- I'm not sure." I murmured for his ears only.

The dwarf raised a bushy eyebrow. "Queen Lucy doesn't know how she came to be in Narnia again? A strange thought, that is."

I nodded my attention averted from Caspian for the second. "I truly do not know why I am here. I was not to come back but something has changed."

I saw a troubled look in his eyes before he looked down at his plate. "And why do you suspect there is a reason for your return?"

I considered that. Why did I suspect it? Because every single time I had been here there was always a reason for it.

_Aslan always has a reason. _My heart whispered.

"It's because I have-" I began slowly.

"Trumpkin? Lucy?" Caspian broke us out of our whispered conversation. "What is it you discuss so deeply?"

I glanced to him, my eyes taking in the smirking grin on his lips. Trumpkin spoke. "I was merely asking Queen Lucy how she came to be among our great people again."

Caspian looked meaningfully at me. "Yes, how did you get here?"

I stared at my plate. I do not like being the center of attention, and I could feel everyone's eyes on me. "I came from Cair Paravel." I said quietly, settling for telling part of the truth.

Caspian was studying me with great interest now as he asked. "You traveled that far by yourself?"

My eyes turned from his by the intent look I was getting from James. "Yes-. I did." _What is the problem? _I wanted to ask James.

My gaze went back to Caspian when he asked. "And you've come... alone this time?"

I sent a sidelong glance to James again. He was still watching me. But Caspian's question set my nerves on edge. "Yes, I am alone this time." The voice that came out of me was purposeful, if not a bit vexed. "Why?" I couldn't help adding.

I bit my lip and looked to my plate again, spearing a piece of meat and bringing it to my hungry mouth. I closed my eyes for a second, savoring the taste of food. My stomach rumbled in delight to actually having something in it again.

Caspian, James, and Trumpkin were the only one's staring at me as I opened my eyes again. James spoke to me for the first time. "What do you mean?"

I brushed a strand of damp hair away from my cheek, patiently. "I was just wondering why it matters if I am alone or not."

James sent a frustrated look to Caspian and Caspian spoke to me. "Would you not tell us if your siblings were with you?" He looked completely surprised at my reaction.

I gave a muffled groan of frustration of my own. "That's not what I meant. Don't you think that if my siblings were with me, they would be sitting with us right now?"

That had all come out wrong. I had sensed a deeper question in Caspian's earlier one; he'd wanted to know if Susan was here. It made me feel like my presence here was unwelcome, even when I knew that was untrue.

Caspian shook his dark head in warning to us as James met my eyes with his icy blue ones. "What did you mean then, Queen Lucy?"

I gave him an angry look and sat my fork down with a little clatter. "Are you so eager to address me now, when it suits you?" I snapped. Referring to his earlier snub when I'd asked him what was wrong out of kindness.

Caspian laid a soothing hand on my arm. "Lucy." His voice demanded for me to look at him. I did. "James did not mean to upset you." He sent a glare over his shoulder to James who looked uncomfortable.

"I am not upset." I said quietly, annoyed that I had even gotten myself into that little spat.

_And if he hadn't meant to annoy me then why would he question me so? _

I didn't get a chance to say the last part as Caspian deftly turned the conversation to an easier topic. "Where did you find Dannsair, she is quite a rare looking animal." He commented, flashing a quick smile at me.

I chewed a mouthful of food before answering him with the same answer I'd given for his previous question of how I'd gotten here. "Cair Paravel. The beach outside of Cair Paravel."

He gave me a questioning look, breaking through my annoyance and making my heart beat faster just with a look. I knew he wanted to ask how I had gotten to Cair Paravel in the first place but he wasn't willing to start up that conversation right now. _At least not here. _

I turned my head downward and listened only halfheartedly to the words that floated between James, Trumpkin and a few other young men and one woman. I ate fast, the food diverting my attention more than anything.

Speaking only when someone addressed me. The meal went by relatively quickly and I felt overfull as I stood to leave along with everyone else.

I saw words pass between James and Caspian before James turned catching my look. I pressed my lips together and headed for the door but he met me there.

"Queen Lucy." I had to stop or be unforgivably rude.

I offered a weak smile. "Yes?"

"I want to apologize for my earlier rudeness. I did not mean to bother you so." His words sounded a little stiff and made me think that maybe Caspian had something to do with the apology and the fact that Caspian was watching us even as he talked with someone else.

I nodded briefly. "I shouldn't have snapped at you." I admitted reluctantly.

He offered a nod of his own before bowing quickly. "Then, if all is forgiven, I must be going."

I gestured at the door with a 'be my guest' look. "Goodbye." I said, trying to be polite.

~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~

I hadn't even made it to the stairs when Caspian called out to me. "Lucy, will you come here for a moment?"

I stopped twisting back to face him. I had wanted to talk to him, just not after I had snapped at one of his guests.

He stood waiting with a curious look about him. I walked back to him. "Follow me." He ordered. And I followed him to a room that looked to be a Library, with its many books and comfortable furniture in various spots around the room.

He let me enter before him and I studied the room before sitting down on the edge of a couch.

My eyes roved over the shelves, until I couldn't stand it any longer and I looked to him, finding him watching me.

He ran strong fingers through his dark hair. I saw amazement and something else in his face. "How are you here?" He asked, like he expected me to disappear at any second.

"I- I don't know." I admitted like I had to Trumpkin just an hour ago. "Peter and I were out in a storm and we...I ended up here."

Caspian looked unsatisfied with my explanation. "Is that all? Is Peter here with you after all?"

I shook my head at him. "I'm not a liar, Caspian. No one else came with me, not that I know of."

Caspian ignored my comment and instead asked. "Can you explain to me what happened?" He walked over and sat beside me on the couch. "You said you came from Cair Paravel?" I bobbed my head. "And that's nearly four days walk from here."

I licked my lips. Where should I start? I didn't even realize I had said that out loud until he replied. "Start anywhere you wish. I won't give you a moments rest until you tell me what happened." His tone was serious but it teased me as well.

"It's really a long story."

"I'm waiting." His hand fidgeted on the arm of the couch, his fingers tapping an impatient rythm out.

He didn't need to know everything right? Like Susan's and my argument?

He watched me with dark eyes making my words stumble out when I finally spoke. "I- Peter and I- We-" I shut my mouth covering my next incoherent sentence before it could escape and swallowed before I tried a second time. "Peter and I, we were running from someone."

"Here in Narnia?" He leaned forward, eager for my answer.

I shook my head. "No."

He glanced away in thought. "Do you know who it was?"

I ran my tongue over my dry lips, moistening them. "No." I repeated.

His eyes swept over me. The same condescending look I had seen on the Dawn Treader showing on his features. "How do you know they were chasing you then?"

My eyes narrowed and I tried, uselessly to rein in my temper. He didn't know what all had happened the past few days. _But, _I argued. _He doesn't have to be so...so impudent. _

_"_Oh, I don't know," I pretended to think about it. "I guess it could have been anything from one of them attacking Peter and me in my uncle's barn. Or maybe it was them chasing us across a rotten bridge in the pouring rain that just _happened_ to collapse under me." Judging from the slightly wide eyed look on his face I'd sufficiently shocked him.

I wasn't quite through yet. "Or," I gave a sour laugh. "Maybe nearly being caught by a band of rogue thieves?" I trailed off cutting off the rest of my ire.

A long pause followed, the heavy silence consuming until Caspian, who was gazing into the fire that burned brightly in the room, reflecting off every curve of his face, said. "You've had quite an adventure."

"An adventure?" I gave him a dark look. "I don't look on it as much of an adventure."

Caspian must have seen something in my face of what I was thinking, because his face quickly took on a regretful expression. "I'm sorry Lucy, I did not mean to sound...unsympathetic."

_I don't want your sympathy, Caspian, maybe just a little understanding but never feel sorry for me. _This was on the tip of my tongue to say this but he looked into my eyes and continued. "By now you probably know that Narnia is not exactly at rest."

I felt only mildly astonished at his statement. "What exactly do you mean, Caspian?" The wariness from earlier had appeared, etched across his face. His hesitation was also evident.

"Tell me everything you know about the people who chased you." He stalled.

"Here in Narnia or before I ended up at Cair Paravel?" I went along with his avoiding my questions for now, because I _would_ get it out of him sooner or later. Hopefully sooner.

"Both." And after a second. "Tell me everything."

Did that include Thomas? _Does it really matter? _I argued with myself.

Caspian didn't speak, just waited in silence. I leaned back closing my eyes against all my questions and doubts. Maybe he would know something about Thomas' ring.

I tried to think back and remember what I'd done with it before my bath.

The answer popping into my head just as a feather light touch on my hand made me jump. Startled I looked down, Caspian's hand rested there.

My arm felt warm from his touch. As did my face. I looked questioningly to him.

One of his fingers reached a bit higher trailing down a cut on my forearm, gently. "What happened?"

"Its-" I halted realizing I had no idea where that particular abrasion had come from. "I don't know." I lifted a shoulder in a shrug.

He didn't remove his hand and my eyes slid up, following the length of his arm, to his shoulder, further still to his face, tracing the line of his jaw.

Stopping on his lips.

My breathing felt unsteady. I willed my eyes to go up another few inches. His dark eyes reflected fire. I could see it dancing in his mirror like pupils behind us.

They held me in place.

Our faces so close now I could see the faint lines around his mouth. _He laughs a lot. _The thought coming to me as if from a distance.

Briefly, I wondered which one of us was diminishing the space between us. Me or him?

I became aware of his hot breath on my cheek.

"You shouldn't be here." He murmured.

In Narnia or with him? I was about to ask, when the sound of glass shattering broke the impenetrable quiet of the night.

I jerked to my feet at the same time he did, stumbling as we collided.

"Stay put!" He ordered, laying a hand on my shoulder to steady me.

"What was-" He was already out the door. Ignoring his command I darted out the door after him. Looking down the hallway to see him standing only a few feet down the hall.

Shards of glass surrounded him. My eyes shot up above Caspian to where there used to be a window and now only pieces remained.

"Caspian?" I breathed, finding my voice at last as people starting pouring into the hall as if from thin air, demanding to know what the commotion was.

The sound of dozens of voices talking was deafening in the hall that had been deathly silent just moments before.

"Caspian!" I tried to get his attention over the panicking people.

I could hear Caspian's voice call over the din, ordering for quiet. "Everyone go back to bed. It was nothing but a stone." He held up the evidence for everyone to see and inspect.

_A stone? _"Why would someone throw a stone through the window?" I hurriedly spat out before everyone could start talking again. This seemed beyond coincidence after everything that had been happening.

Caspian's eyes cut through the small crowd landing on me. He frowned, reminding me that he'd told me to stay in the library.

Several people seconded my question. Caspian waved them silent for a second time. "It was probably one of the lads from town, their always up to some practical joke or dare like this.

"Remember the water wells?" He smoothly answered.

The people murmured among themselves in agreement with his words. "What happened with the wells?" My question went unanswered as everyone decided to voice their agreement.

Something made me disbelieve his words. It could have been any number of things, from the ever so slight movement that would make me swear that he was clenching his jaw or his hand closing around the stone, shoving it into a pocket. Like he wanted to look at it later on.

_Why would he want to look at it later on? _I saw a flash of something from the edge of my vision, whipping around to catch the back of someone's retreating figure, slipping unnoticed by everyone, around the corner. _Except by me. _

My mouth half open to call after the person until their head swung around, not looking at me but at something else. I saw a glimpse of blue. _James. _My mind connected, I was staring after James and his icy blue eyes.

_Why is he here? I thought he left. What was he looking for? _My head jerked back to Caspian catching his glance to where James had been less than a second prior.

My curiosity was...let's say, sufficiently pricked.

I was definitely going to find out what had been going on in Narnia whilst I'd been gone.

~X~X~X~X~X~

After everyone calmed down and a few maids came to clean up the mess, Caspian and I were the last one's standing.

"I thought I told you to stay in the Library." He raised an eyebrow, looking amused at my disobedience.

My cheeks burned hot at the statement, not because I had disobeyed him, but at the..._circumstances,_ that had been interrupted in the Library before the window was shattered.

I raised my shoulders in a noncommittal way. "Well you didn't very well think I'd stay when everyone else decided to come investigate." I gave him a sweet smile.

"No," He reached a hand, running it over his unshaven face to hide his smirk. "I don't suppose I did."

After a second longer he stepped to my side gesturing back to the Library. "Shall you finish telling me everything now?"

My heart raced faster. I started to speak but was stopped before I even had a chance to form a word.

"King Caspian?" Caspian and I both turned to see a young boy standing behind us, tugging uncomfortably at the hem of his dark shirt.

Caspian smiled at the little boy, kneeling down to the boy's height. "Ah Ed, what are you doing up so late?" He ruffled the little boy's hair and I couldn't help but smile at the gentle teasing way he dealt with the child.

The little boy, Ed, whispered something in Caspian's ear, looking at me all the while with that wary look a child always gets around new people.

Caspian tilted his head around to look at me, smiling he reached out taking my hand and pulling me closer. "Edwin this is Queen Lucy. Lucy this is Edwin an orphan we can't seem to be rid of." He winked to show he was teasing the boy, who promptly shoved Caspian's hand away in spite.

I giggled at that. Edwin's glossy dark head turned to me and then to Caspian. "Is she your Queen?" The child's voice was open and not in the least bit timid as I'd suspected and his unexpected question made my eyes widen in surprise.

Caspian laughed gently at Edwin's question and started to explain. "Queen Lucy is a-" He looked up at me. "Very good friend." He finished and I think I imagined the small hesitation before friend.

_His Queen. _I rolled the words around in my head.

Caspian stood abruptly saying. "Go on Ed, I'll see you early tomorrow?" The boy nodded dashing off, but not before waving at me and saying. "I think you would be a nice Queen for Caspian."

I choked on my own words trying to get them out, but Edwin was gone already. _How can a little boy just say something like that and run off? _But I knew the answer to my own question.

He was a little boy, enough said.

Caspian laughed that rich deep laugh that I hadn't heard since I'd gotten back to Narnia, making my spine tingle with the mere noise. But despite that, I couldn't help feeling a pang in my chest also. _Is it so laughable? The thought of me being... _I cut the thought off short, there was absolutely no way I was going there, not tonight.

Caspian broke me out of my thoughts. "I apologize, Lucy, but it seems that I've been summoned for a something in the courtroom." He looked apologetic but it looked shadowed over something else. The wariness I saw earlier? "Maybe we can talk tomorrow afternoon?"

I ignored his question. "Is there some trouble in Calormen?"

He looked like he wouldn't answer for a moment but answered anyway. "It's probably nothing."

I pulled on a strand of hair that had come loose from Elle's perfect hairstyle, twisting it on my finger to get up the courage to ask. "Kind of like the stone you kept is nothing?"

He hid his expression well. "The stone from the window? I kept it so I could return it to the boy it belongs to." There was no hesitation in his sentence but still I didn't believe him. _Why would he lie?_

"He's a troublemaker, a friend of Edwin's actually."

I chewed the bottom of my lip. "Why would you want to give him his weapon back?"

Caspian looked a bit impatient now. He reached into his pocket and pulled it out holding it for me to see. "It's a carved stone. He carries one like this."

"But why-" I still couldn't bring myself to believe the story.

Caspian cut me off abruptly. "Lucy, its nothing, I really must get to the courtroom. Come, I'll see you back to your room."

I felt annoyance at his slight. Then I got an idea. "Caspian?" He didn't stop just kept on walking me towards my room.

"What is it now Lucy?"

"This meeting you're going to, it's required for the King, the royalty to be present?"

"Yes, I suppose." He sounded like he was far away, thinking. Too late he didn't see my trick.

"I can join you then?" A laugh welled up in my chest at the irritation that crossed his face, I swallowed it down.

He came to a stop. "Lucy, it will be a bore, I can't wait to be done with it myself. Why don't you just get plenty of rest so we can have a long talk tomorrow afternoon?"

He made it sound so inviting, to just drop it and go to bed, but I wasn't going to learn anything about what was going on in Narnia in bed. It also sounded dangerously close to a command and made me sink my heels in even further.

Figuratively, of course.

"Is there no other objection for me not to go besides me looking a bit tired?" I wheedled him.

Caspian sighed brushing his hand through his hair in exasperation. "Come if you wish. But the men might be gathered until very late." He warned trying a last time to talk me out of it.

It didn't work.

~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~

The walk from the stairs leading to the second floor to the courtroom didn't take long. And Caspian pushed open the heavy wooden door to the large room.

Revealing a group of men gathered around a table, and from the looks and sounds of things they were angry. I waited a second for Caspian to pass me and go on in the room; I followed in his wake quietly.

The men's argument became more heated. Their voices rising to near shouts as the men each tried to give their own opinion.

"It's not right!" One of them said loudly to get the attention back on him.

"We've established that Eosu." Another man said in an attempt to calm the other.

"Why should we have-" The man, Eosu they called him, stopped suddenly when Caspian moved to pull out a chair, revealing my presence to all.

I felt self-conscious as Caspian pulled a chair out for me to sit. Everyone was looking at me now. You'd think I'd be used to it by now, but I wasn't. I had to force myself to breathe deeply and relax under the scrutinizing eyes of a table full of men.

"Your Highness." One of the men said and I raised my head to smile at the man who addressed me, but he wasn't looking at me. He was looking to Caspian questioningly.

And so quickly, if I had blinked, I would have missed it, the man's eyes flicking to me.

I blinked, wondering if I was right. If Caspian's attempt to make me rest was anything to go by, I had a suspicion they didn't want me here. _But why?_ I gave a tiny sigh. _Another question I can't answer._

I snapped back to attention as Caspian said. "Queen Lucy will be present for tonight's discussion." His tone said there would be no arguing with his decision.

"Yes, King Caspian, it is...admirable that the Queen wishes to find out what's happened since her absence." The voice sounded familiar, too familiar. My head swiveled to see James sitting further down the table, nearly hidden by the large bulk of another man.

Something in his compliment sounded mocking.

And why were they talking to one another as if I weren't here? If it was so admirable, why were they ignoring me? I bit the inside of my lip and spoke, ignoring their stares. "I did not mean to interrupt your previous conversation," A slight pause here. "Please carry on." I raised my eyes to look at the men steadily on, refusing to glance Caspian's way for I knew it would unnerve me.

The men turned their eyes away. The man who had tried to calm Eosu only dared to look, saying. "We do not usually permit..._women _in our meetings." He tried to sound apologetic but I caught the hint of something else in an undertone.

I tried to keep my eyes from narrowing and to keep from snapping at him. I'd already overstepped the bounds of hospitality to James, and I was a guest here after all. So I clamped my teeth together.

"Queen Lucy will be here tonight and that's final." Caspian's words were spoken evenly but they held warning. My gaze darted to him anyway; he gave me a warning look too. A hint to not say anything in return.

_Oh good, he's not unaware of how unwelcoming his men are. _I thought a bit sarcastically.

No one said a word and they hid their opinions easily. When I looked down the table again every face looked closed to me.

I leaned back resting my back against the chair. The men started talking, debating something about castle security. Their dark gazes passing over me as if I weren't there, refusing to acknowledge my presence.

This, to say the least, vexed me greatly. What vexed me even more was the conversation wasn't anything, I won't say important, but nothing the least bit significant as to be why the men would be arguing so heatedly.

Castle security. Caspian had said there was some small issue. About castle security? I was fairly certain by the way the conversation just barely bumped along that it was something more, much more.

And they wanted me to leave. James' appearance in the hall earlier when the window had been shattered, made me wonder even more. _Why was he there? Why is he here? _The questions running on endlessly as the men discussed _castle security. _

The matter of such importance that would have cause for these men to summon their King in the middle of the night. _What kind of fool do you take me for? _I wanted to say. _At least ten kinds of fool I'd have to be, to believe this is nothing more than castle security!_

I clenched my teeth together. Caspian touched my arm after a while. I shifted uncomfortably in my chair and met his gaze. "Why don't you go on to your room? You look,"

_If you say tired I will probably come out of this chair and- _

"Bored." He muttered, cutting my silent threat off.

I looked at the men sitting, still murmuring among themselves, felt my resolve waver. "Maybe I should."

Not wasting any time on my decision he asked. "You wish for me to accompany you back to your room?" He raised his voice to a normal level. He stood as I did. So did everyone else.

"No," I waved him off. "I'll be fine, go on with your _discussion." _I couldn't help biting out the last word, even when no one seemed to notice. A small chorus of masculine voices wished me a goodnight. _Their excited to see me go._ I thought my temper coming back, raising my awareness again.

I walked on to the door, already the men's voices becoming livelier as I left. By the time I got to the door and slipped through, I had already decided that I would find out what they were saying. My resolve returning full force, and trying to bypass my tired body.

_Surely there is someplace where I can listen in. _Yes, I know, how inappropriate for a female, let alone a Queen!

My thoughts on that right at this moment?

_No one will ever know, therefore who cares. _I certainly didn't.

My steps were quick as I stepped through the door and turned as if heading to my room, like a good Queen. Instead my eyes roved the walls around the courtroom for some way I could listen.

_Aslan forgive me for eavesdropping but is there any way I can hear what their saying? _The prayer coming easily and perhaps a little forward. I winced outwardly at how it must sound.

My eyes landed on the door to another room, adjacent to the courtroom. My head tilted in thought. _Alright. _I jumped forward, easing the door open and peeking in to make sure it was empty, though I was fairly certain it would be at this hour of the night.

I snuck quietly into the room. Shoving the door closed behind me. I peered through the sudden darkness even though a fire burned low in the fireplace.

_Where? _I questioned silently. A sudden gust of wind coming from nowhere. I slapped a hand to my mouth to keep in the shriek that threatened to escape. The fire went out leaving me in complete darkness. My eyes widened, trying to see.

I shivered at the coldness that seemed to seep into the room when the light of the fire left it. An idea coming from nowhere. _Maybe I don't need to see._ The darkness made my hearing sharper somehow. I reached a nervous hand forward to make sure I would not run into anything.

Taking a small step in that direction, I bumped into something, a table maybe, I heard something teetering dangerously in place. Sucking in a breath I willed it to stay in where it was.

It did. _What now? _I hesitated to move. Another minute ticked by. _They've probably all left now. _I thought, frustrated. I sighed heavily and closed my eyes trying to picture the layout of the room so maybe I could get out without destroying anything.

Instead my ears caught a faint sound, my eyes snapping open in surprise. I waited a half a second before shutting them again. It came from near the fire, or where the fire used to be.

I stepped around the table I'd run into, keeping my eyes shut, I followed the sound slowly. I reached out searching for the fireplace's mantle. My hand connected with stone. I reached, searching higher with both hands now. I grasped the edge of it. The previous noise seemed louder here.

Keeping hold of the mantle I walked sideways down beside it. Each step making the noises seem louder. I strained to hear through the darkness.

_What is that? The men? _I dared not hope for that good fortune and if nothing else I did know here I stood, so I could make it out of the room without hitting anything, maybe.

"It's not that simple." I hushed voice came to me, from beneath my fingertips. I gasped, almost jumping away from the wall in fright. I heard another voice come from the wall. _Caspian and his men? _My mouth curved in delight.

I leaned back forward searching, my hands running all over the wall, bumping into something hard. _And square. _I recognized. _A painting! _I ran my hands up both sides of it and lifted slightly, grimacing at the weight, stepping away enough so I could set it out of the way. _Maybe I can get it back in place later. _

I hurriedly stepped back to the wall and leaned my head down searching for the source of the sound. Nothing.

I ran my hands far and wide, until it hit me that it might be lower, the painting had been low on the wall. I dropped to my knees. My eyes still felt unaccustomed to the complete blackness but I could vaguely make out a slit of light shining seemingly from nowhere.

_There. _I smiled successfully. I shifted forward and leaned even further down so I could look through the hole. _A little peeping hole. _I grinned.

The sudden brightness that made its way through the hole made me blink against the brightness. If I squinted and closed one eye I could just make out...what _was_ I looking at?

My eyes, or rather, eye, widened in shock as whatever it was moved from my line of vision.

It was a person, I realized. I blinked again, listening intently now as the voices came to me just unclearly enough for me to have to be listening really closely to understand there meaning.

I breathed lightly, so as not to interfere with my hearing. A sentence floated to my waiting ears. "The castles security?" A deep laugh reached me. "She believed us easier than I figured. I've heard stories that Queen Lucy was a wise woman, perhaps slightly-"

The rest of the man's words were lost to me as I leaned away in disgust. _Wretched man. _Another voice reached me, snapping harshly. "That is quite enough, Trian." Caspian's voice snapped, sounding as disgusted as I felt.

I sent a silent thanks to Caspian for his defense.

"If you have nothing to say but to insult Queen Lucy then you are excused." His voice harsh. The other men were deathly silent. "Leave now." I heard a mutter in return to his command. I leaned closer so I could see what was going on.

"Eosu and Cassian, escort him back to his quarters, now." Caspian's voice was firm, no one argued and I could see two men get up and leave.

I rested back against the wall in annoyance. _This is getting me nowhere. _I grumbled silently.

Silence followed. So long that I thought that everyone had dissipated and left for the night but a voice broke the quiet, wisely not mentioning the previous situation.

"It is not safe here anymore." The statement was said calmly even though it sat heavily in my chest, fear washing over me for a brief second. I pushed it away.

"We've said this before." Another man spoke. "Why has this changed now?"

_Yes, why? _"The stone was a warning." _James. _I recognized.

"We've gotten threats like this before." Caspian broke in. "That's why we've-" He turned so I couldn't see him and his voice too muffled for me to hear the rest of his sentence.

The stone they were talking about was the one from earlier, I was sure. Confirming Caspian's lie to me. There was something more to it, just as I'd thought.

"So what do you propose we do about it?" Someone snapped angrily. "Her arrival bodes nothing but trouble."

Voices collided with each other as the conversation sped up. _Are they talking about me? Her arrival bodes nothing but trouble? I'm the only one who's arrived that I know of._

"We cannot do anything about her arrival." Caspian said. "We must keep her under guard at all times."

"Will she not suspect anything?" James questioned.

Caspian hesitated. "She very well probably will suspect something but her safety is more important than anything." Someone else started in on that. Caspian talked quickly cutting the man off. "She will be guarded at all times. That is my final decision for tonight. We will discuss this further..."

His voice became muffled again and I could have shrieked in frustration._ When will you meet again? When? _I shook my head when they said nothing more, and I heard the screeches of a dozen or more chairs being pushed back, the men standing to leave. Their voices melding together as they kept talking when they left the room.

I could have growled in my annoyance. I started to get up and leave, midway to standing the whisper of voices reached my ears again and I hastily dropped, bruises on my legs aching in protest.

"I still say you cannot stay here." James' voice came through clearly.

Caspian's reply came quick and angry. "What do you propose I do? Just walk out with no explanation? Do you think that would go well with anyone? That she'd accept it? She just came back!"

James seemed to think before he answered. "We would come up with a good reason, one that she would believe."

Caspian grumbled something unintelligible to that.

"What if they followed her?" James demanded.

"I think they did. I think that's why she's here." Caspian snapped. "Do not mistake me not realizing the danger of the situation."

"Why? What did she tell you?" James ignored the other half of his words.

Caspian's words were once again lost to me as he turned and James lowered his voice so I could only catch a word here and there.

"You do not wish to leave Queen Lucy? I thought it was the other sister you were so besotted over."

James retaliation to whatever Caspian had said was cold.

"Lucy is one of my dearest friends, the younger sister of Queen Susan. It is my duty to protect her however I can. And you overstep your bounds with your words, my friend." Caspian's voice was ice.

"My bounds? And I thought we were better than that, Your Highness." James voice matched Caspian's ice for ice. _Except, _I thought. _James eyes match his voice. _Mocking Caspian.

"Surely you can see the madness of leaving her here by herself?" Caspian asked. "You are mistaken if you think she will stay and not do anything."

"She will be protected either way. You could be of use elsewhere, you know. Reassure your people that you still have need of them." James voice was dry now.

"And if I agreed to go in a fortnight what would you say then? But I will be returning soon after, make no mistake of that." Caspian's final decision lay decided.

I heard the sound of James' hand clapping Caspian on the shoulder. "It's the best way and she will be no safer with you here anyway, in fact, she'd be in even more danger with you here."

I glared at the roof that I knew was over my head but I could not see in the darkness. _Where is he going and why is he in danger? Why am I in danger? _

A few more muttered words came and went between the two and I finally heard the door to the courtroom close with a final condemning click.

I slapped my hand to the wall in an attempt to rid myself of anger. Where in Aslan's name did he come off bringing Susan and me into his conversation? _Just a friend. _Caspian's words fed my already fire hot temper.

I shoved up from my position and tried to gently put the portrait back in place and not slam it into the wall like I wanted.

I walked unseeingly and too angry to care, stumbling around until I found the door, shoving it out of my way, I stepped out into the hall and broke into a run heading to my room.

My bare feet making a light slapping sound on marble floor as I crossed the grand ballroom in an attempt to shorten the route to my room. Considering I did not know my way around yet, I made it to my room only getting lost twice and when I did get there I slammed my door shut. Not caring who I woke.

I rubbed a hand across my face. And commenced to get myself out of the dress Elle had trapped me in so I would look my best for Caspian. _Not that he would notice, me being the younger sister and all. _I reached back, tearing at the laces until I had successfully gotten half of them undone, enough so I could tug and wriggle out of the dress.

I was in a nightgown that had lain ready for me on the bed, in moments.

My weary head raging with questions and thoughts.

My beyond tired body begged me for rest. But I was too angry at what I'd overheard and what I didn't know to go to sleep.

Question after question came to me.

Who had chased Peter and me? And who was the person that had attacked us in the barn?

Who was Thomas? And what was the strange symbol on his ring? He was from Narnia obviously, but how was that possible?

How was it possible that I was even here? And that I had brought danger just by my mere presence.

Why were my daggers stolen? And likewise was it coincidental that Susan's dresses were gone too?

Who is James really? How is he Caspian's friend and where had he just convinced Caspian to go in a fortnight? What people was he to be reassuring? What exactly was he reassuring them of?

And what about Caspian's box? What secrets did it hold? I never did get to thoroughly look through it.

The stone he so adamantly claimed was nothing? I had to find it.

What about the men that had first chased me when I'd just returned to Narnia? Or was that just a bunch of thieves? Except for the one man whose words still haunted me. _'When she's ready, there will be no stopping her.'_

And the piece of paper. My thoughts came to an unexpected stop. How had I forgotten the piece of paper that I had nearly been caught over? Where was it?

I sat up straight trying to remember where it was. I had to read it. _With Thomas' ring. _I vaguely remembered that it was with his ring, in the top drawer of the nightstand.

I settled back, I had no light to read it by and no way to find something to light my candle, so it would have to wait until the morn.

I gave a small sigh, but maybe it was for the better. Just one less question I had to answer.

I settled back deep in the mattress, resting my head on the soft pillow. My eyes closed of their own accord.

I was drifting into a deep sleep. My breath whooshed out of my chest in a deep sigh.

Tomorrow I would answer at least one of my questions, of that I would make certain. I promised myself right as I fell asleep.

_"_Thank you Aslan." I whispered into the stillness.

**Well, y'all, review for me why don't you? :D**


	11. The Man Outside the Gates

_**Well, I looked on here yesterday and I was like, it's been a week since I've updated! Oh my gosh the fanfiction people probably hate me...lol**_

_**So I tried to hurry up and post this. I originally thought Lucy would find out what that dang piece of paper says, finally, however it didn't work out that way. But you will find out in the next chapter. Promise.**_

_**Chapter 11-The Man Outside the Gates**_

I opened my eyes, awakened from my dreamless sleep by the smell of something sweet. I kept my eyes closed so I could take in the comfort of my warm bed and breathe deeply of the sweet scent, though I wasn't sure what it was, it smelt familiar.

"Good morning, Your Majesty." Elle's bright voice startled me out of my moment of peace and into a sitting position.

I groaned in protest, but asked. "What time is it?" The tightly drawn draperies of my room, gave no indication of the time.

Elle, noticing my wandering eyes answered. "It is well past noon, my lady, past time for you to be getting yourself up." She pointed out, rather bluntly. Then she strode purposefully over to the window, flinging back the curtains before I could think to argue with her.

"Come now, up with you, Majesty! I would've been up here bright and early to wake you, but His Majesty insisted you needed your rest. "She flicked another curtain open to let in dazzling sunlight, making me cringe and cover my eyes. "And you know what I told him?" She continued without waiting for my response. "I told him, Aslan knows you're a young thing! There'll be plenty of time for you to rest when you're old and gray like me." She chuckled at herself. "And do you know what His Majesty said to that?"

She swung around, hands on her hips, looking for a guess from me. "I've no earthly idea." I said. And despite the woman's claims to being old, she was just as, if not more, lively than me. _Perhaps more! _I thought ruefully.

Elle gave a huge, long suffering sounding sigh. "Why, he told me that I had no idea what you'd been through these last couple days,"

_And neither does he, not really. _I wanted to say.

"And that I should just stay silent on the matter because you were sleeping late!" She finished. The woman waved her hands about in the air, as if swatting at a bothersome fly, but instead asking. "Can you even imagine?"

I slid from under the comfort of my bedclothes and covered my mouth with a hand to hide the smile and giggle that wanted to escape at the woman's contrariness.

Elle's mouth twisted mockingly as she said. "I mean no disrespect to His Majesty, of course but that is just so like a man, especially a _young_ man. I've really no-"

I couldn't contain my laughter any longer; I could just see Caspian trying to go about a normal morning with the old woman flittering around him, clucking like a mother hen. Caspian's brow creased in frustration with the headache he probably had. "Elle." I tried to quiet her. "Elle!"

She turned to pierce me with her blue eyes, hands still perched on her hips. "What is it Queen Lucy? And for Narnia's sake, get out of that bed! His Majesty wishes for you to join him for the midafternoon meal in the gardens."

My head reeled from all the different comments and orders that flew out of her mouth at the speed of a galloping horse. _Does she ever slow down? _I asked myself, inwardly smiling.

"Well?" Elle tapped a foot on the carpeted floor, it did not making a satisfying _tap-tapping_ sound as she'd probably intended.

I jerked back to my thoughts about the sweet smell. "Oh, I just wondered what that sweet smell is." I took a deep breath, slowly sucking in so I could catch the fragrant odor again. It still reminded me of something.

I slipped to the floor, letting my toes sink into the intricate looking rug beside my bed. _What does it remind me of? _I wondered, thinking hard, waiting for Elle's answer.

For once I had the answer to a question. _Home. _It reminded me of home. It reminded me of home in London before daddy had gone off to war. Outside the little house we'd lived in before it had been bombed, there had been a tree. Daddy had planted it one year, long before I was born and all my life I had watched as each summer the old tree blossomed with the most beautiful pink and white blossoms you would ever have the pleasure of seeing. Unexpected tears sprung to my eyes at the memory, of a time when we'd been a true family.

What were they all doing now? Were they worried for me? Was Peter safe? Or had the people chasing us gotten to him? I felt sick at that.

Elle's matronly voice broke me out of unwanted thoughts of danger for my family. "Oh, it's a tree outside your window, there." Nonchalantly, she pointed to the farthest one from the bed, unaware of the direction of my thoughts and the scared feeling that still weighed heavy in my chest for the safety of my family.

I paused for a quick moment to say a prayer. _'Aslan, please protect Peter, Ed, Su, Eustace, Mum and Daddy and if they are scared for me, comfort them, let them know that I'm okay. _After a moment I added. _'And help Thomas too, though I'm not sure of his true intentions, he did help me.'_

_What happened to him? _I wondered silently.

"Child, quit daydreaming, we have to get you presentable for His Majesty!" Elle squawked at me.

I jumped into motion as Elle motioned me to the room across from mine, telling me that my bath had already been drawn and was waiting. "Go ahead, Your Majesty! I must see to your dress ready." Elle called out.

I stopped right in the doorway to tell her that it would not be necessary to trouble herself over a dress, that I would prefer pants and a tunic for today. The smallest pair she could find preferably.

I had a lot of exploring to do, not to mention finding that stone.

I never got that far though.

A commotion that sounded as if it came from downstairs caught my attention, I heard shouting and what sounded like slamming doors. I jerked in the direction of the stairs. "What was that?" Even though I asked the question, I wasn't expecting an answer.

"It's nothing, child, go along to your bath." Elle ordered me firmly, but her tone held an edge, almost like she was nervous about something.

That tone made me glance at the old woman with curiosity. "You know what's going on?" Maybe she was right and I shouldn't have slept in.

Elle's eyes held a wary look. "There's been a strange man outside the castles gates," She looked over her shoulder as if she expected someone to be listening, ready to scold her for being a gossip. "They say he's been there since early morning."

My brow wrinkled as I felt puzzled. "Who is he? What does he want?" Inside I couldn't help thinking cynically. _Not another question I can't answer. _This whole conversation reminded me, though, that whenever Elle left the room I had to find out what that slip of paper said.

And soon.

Elle stepped closer till she stood in front of me, leaning her head closer, conspiritously. "It's not really my place Queen Lucy."

I gave her a sour look. _When has that ever stopped you before? _I had a feeling that she was not the kind of woman who followed the rules but rather made them.

"But," She whispered after a moment, confirming my previously formed opinion of her. "Just between the two of us, you understand?" At my agreement she said. "This man, I hear, has been causing quite a ruckus, saying that he must speak with King Caspian." She shook her gray head in disbelief, as if she couldn't quite picture such a tale. "They say he's a terribly rough looking man. And do you know the strangest thing of all?" She asked this as if she really expected an answer from me, as if I might have any inclination.

I shook my head, no, anyway.

"Well," She dropped her voice to an even quieter whisper. "He claims that he knows you," She paused letting that sink in, making me feel bewildered by the claim. "And he says that you know him." Elle's eyes were wide as she waited for me to decline any knowledge of the whole thing.

I didn't, just shook my head again and asked. "Did he give a name?"

The old woman looked positively appalled. "Are you saying you might very well know him?" She gasped excitedly. "That the rumors might be true?" If she had been a dog, she would have been frothing at the mouth in her excitement.

My lips twisted in confusion. _Why do I always seem to end up more confused than I was to begin with whenever I talk with Dannsair and Elle? _"What rumors?" Had I even been here long enough to be the source of widespread gossip?

Elle pursed her lips, pressing them tightly together, looking as if she hadn't meant to say that but it had slipped out anyway. "Oh, its nothing."

"Tell me!" I insisted.

"Well," She said reluctantly now. "It's really nothing, just someone said that he was an old..."

"An old what?" I prompted impatiently.

"An old love of yours. That he was so in love with you that when you said you did not love him in return he turned into a bandit, bordering on sanity."

My mouth was wide open. "What?" I sputtered. "Just I- What? What?" Seeing the look on my face, which was a combination of incredulity and disdain, Elle was quick to add.

"But no one actually _believes_ it Your Majesty."

_Well that just helps a lot. _I thought caustically. "Why," I asked. "In Aslan's name does anyone even-" I bit my tongue to cut myself off.

This was just wasting time. Time I could be using to look at that slip of paper that seemed to be mocking me from its place in the bedside tables top drawer. "Never mind, I don't even want to know." _Whoever thought up that story was bordering on sanity themselves. _

Elle was watching me with anxious eyes. "Then it's not true?"

I gave her an incredulous glance. "Of course it's not true, its ridiculous, preposterous, absurd, nonsensical, irrational, and-" Before I could think of a few more words to add, Elle covered her mouth with her hand so I could not see her smile.

"Very well Queen Lucy, go ahead to your bath, you've dallied around enough."

Instead of arguing that it had not been my fault, that she'd been the one doing the talking, I nodded in agreement, wanting to get out of here and start answering some of my questions.

_And I will answer them. _I promised.

~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~

With a good scrubbing and less than a half hour later, I was about to burst from impatience. Elle's 'finishing touches' as she put it and a waste of time according to me, not because I did not want to look my best but because I _had _to see what was on that paper, and soon.

"Queen Lucy, pay attention!" Elle jerked me unceremoniously from my thoughts of the paper. "You are ready."

The dress I was to wear today was blue, a deep blue. The kind of blue you see at night when the moon is hiding itself from prying eyes, almost like it's embarrassed to be looked at.

The dresses white lace that touched each sleeve and wove itself around the bodice made it extremely too beautiful for simply a day outside, or that's what I thought, but Elle wasn't aware of the snooping I would be doing today. That is, if I ever got out of here.

At the woman's words that I was ready I started towards the door, stopping after only a few steps when I realized that my behavior might seem rude. I stepped back to the old woman and reached to grasp her hand. "Thank you for your help, Elle. It's very kind of you." I smiled with sincerity.

Elle looked almost taken aback by my thanks, before saying. "Oh, hush child, its nothing. It is my duty." She did not look me in the eyes as she said it, making me think that perhaps she did not believe my words. Then she met my gaze with her steely grey one. "You know, I have not changed my mind."

"About what?" I inquired.

Elle gave me a friendly wink. "I am going to enjoy your presence in the castle, it has stood silent for too long. An impulsive young woman is just what we need around here."

Before I could ask her to elaborate on that, she gestured at the door. "Come, you must go, King Caspian is waiting."

At that moment I felt slightly chagrined. I could, of course, just look at the paper now. But Elle would want to know what it was and call it a hunch, but I figured it might not be something she needed to know.

If I didn't want it all over the castle, that is.

Elle made an impatient sound by the door and I said. "Just a moment, I need to get something." Ignoring her questioning look, I darted to the bedside table and slid open the drawer.

My eyes landing on Thomas' ring and the slip of paper I'd rolled up and slid through it, to keep them both together.

My fingers itched with my want to open it now. "Hurry child." Elle ordered, making me shove the ring and paper in a fold of my gown to hide them. _Why do they not sew pockets into these gowns? _I complained inwardly, but smiled outwardly. I had asked that very question hundreds of times before when Peter, Ed, Su, and I'd lived here before.

I followed Elle calmly downstairs and what seemed through a dozen different doors and finally to a grand little room that for what it lacked in size. It made up for in beauty. Elle murmured something behind me. I turned in a circle, too caught up in my study of the room to see her leaving.

The small room's walls were a light blue that, with the accompaniment of the large colored glass windows on one side of the room, seemed to make the room burst with light, if the sun was kind enough to grant you its golden rays.

My eyes wandered further to take in the bookshelves that lined the wall both to the left and the right of the door as you walked in. The furniture, a creamy color, edged in gold made the room even more beautiful and yet they were very simple.

_What really makes it so perfect_, I figured, _is the sunshine. _It made the whole thing seem imminently more...more...

I searched in vain for a word that fit such simple beauty.

"Its very charming, isn't it?" A rich, accented voice asked from beside me.

_Charming. _That was it. The word to describe this room. I looked to my companion, already knowing who it was by his accented voice. _Caspian. _The smile curving my mouth up at the corners made me feel ridiculous at being so happy to see him, even when I knew the circumstances at which this meal was taking place. "Caspian." I greeted him, my heart coming alive in my chest. "Yes, it is. It's a very quaint room."

Caspian smiled in return. "You're awfully dressed up for a meal outside today. I thought I might show you around Calormen but you're too lovely for me to share with everyone else." I sucked in a breath looking to meet his eyes._ Does he mean it? _He smirked. "I'd never have recognized you if you hadn't spoken."

I glared at him.

He gave a quick laugh. "Are you hungry now? I wish to talk to you."

I was indeed hungry, the real question being, could I swallow the food in front of me whilst the butterflies whirled and danced in my stomach that simply refused to settle whenever he was near. But I nodded my consent. "And I need to talk with you as well."

"Oh?" Caspian looked more amused than surprised at my statement. "Should I be worried?" He grinned to show he was teasing.

I gave his arm a shove. "Perhaps you should."

He stepped to the door that opened to a balcony, stepping onto it revealed to the right, a set of stone steps leading down into the gardens. From the view of the balcony you could see dozens of paths leading every which way, twisting in and out, throughout the garden that seemed more like a small forest than a garden.

The green lushness of the trees' leaves and the grass told me that this was indeed, Narnia. Nothing grew in London like this. The flowers that grew along each path twisted among their kind, all turning their blooms to the sun, soaking in its warmth. Their scents filled the air with breathtaking odors.

Caspian offered his hand to help me down the stone steps. I took it, feeling his strength and the rough calluses that betrayed he was a hardworking man. His touch made my face feel hot with pleasure, though I was fairly certain that had not been his intention.

Even so, I enjoyed the feel of his strong hand wrapped around mine.

I looked sideways at him, so I could study him, as we walked down a path he chose. He was quiet, the afternoon sunshine making his deep brown eyes reflect gold, not that I could see that from where I was standing. I couldn't. But I knew that's what happened when the sun caught them just right.

The midday silence was only broken by the birds chirping above us in the trees or the squirrels that chased each other in a rollicking game of hide and seek amongst the flowers.

I took in Caspian usual clothing. The white cotton shirt, much like the one he'd worn yesterday, fit close to his body, hiding a muscled chest from his work on the Dawn Treader.

I swallowed hard. Forcing my eyes away for a moment. _Have you lost your mind? _I squeaked at myself. My face flushed and I felt hot all over. After I'd calmed myself I turned to openly look at him again. His attire suggested an early morning out among his people.

"What are you thinking about Lucy?" I jumped, startled at Caspian's question, he was staring at me with curious eyes. Needless to say, my face was even hotter under his quizzically amused gaze.

If he only knew the direction of my thoughts. But he never would if I had anything to do with it.

"You won't tell me then?" Caspian asked teasingly but his voice held something I did not understand. An edge that I was too embarrassed to define.

I didn't stop to think on it as we came upon a set of chairs and a table that sat under the shade of a large tree; it was completely covered with food. It was spread out across it, leaving you with at least a dozen choices easily. The plates and teacups resting clean, waiting for someone to have a sip of tea. The silverware shone despite the sun not quite being able to reach them in their shady spot. Caspian pulled my chair out for me to sit and I gave him a reply to his question, just not everything I'd been thinking about. "I was daydreaming. Narnia and its people seem twice as wonderful as I remember. I missed it so much; it's hard to believe that-"

"That what?" Caspian prodded gently, sitting down across from me.

"That it's almost exactly the same as I remember." I whispered, afraid to break the peaceful mood.

"Did you expect it to have changed?" He asked, looking surprised by that thought.

"Well, one of the last times we came back, a thousand years had passed and this really arrogant and funny looking Prince had started a war." I turned my sad thoughts into a joke, so I could tease him.

But what was really going through my mind? What if it had been the same this time? What if Caspian had been gone? Another thousand years passed over effortlessly? As if it was nothing more than a distant memory? Gone in the blink of an eye?

I bit my lip. Hard. There was no need for those kinds of thoughts on such a beautiful day.

Caspian gave a laugh. "And this Prince? A handsome man, I'm sure? A great man, perhaps?" His lips curving slightly, revealing his white teeth.

That made me smile and try to force a straight face long enough to say. "Oh, he was all right, I suppose." I tried to look indifferent. "He was rather stubborn, not to mention arrogant, back then." I taunted him playfully.

Caspian gave a rich laugh that rumbled his chest. "Arrogant? I was never arrogant." He made a serious looking face.

I burst out laughing, feeling the most happy than I had in months, since leaving Narnia the last time. It felt so good to see Caspian again, to hear his laugh, to see his smile.

Caspian joined me, laughing just as hard.

My mind shot back to the first moment I realized I was in Narnia and had stood looking up at Cair Paravel, seeing the beach again, tasting salt on the wind and the sweet but tart juice that ran thick from the red apples from the orchard. I grinned in contentment. It was almost easy to forget the circumstances that had gotten me here.

_Cair Paravel. _That reminded me of something. "Caspian?"

"Yes, Lucy?" His accented voice was smooth and relaxed; he sounded very much at ease and sounded as content as I felt.

"What happened to Cair Paravel? When I first got here, it was- it is-" As I paused he said.

"We're rebuilding it." He grinned looking pleasantly surprised at my question. "We've only just started but its coming along well." His grin was infectious once again.

"How long has this been going on?" I raised my eyebrows in question. "I thought you'd been gone, what with you returning and everything yesterday."

Caspian's grin did not lessen and his demeanor didn't change but something in his eyes lessened and I saw a glimmer of the wariness from yesterday replace it. "We've been gone near to a month, I believe." And though he owed me no explanation he said. "I had business to attend to elsewhere."

This cryptic statement, peeked, my already burning curiosity. "And what business of great importance called you away for a whole month?" The question was not meant to be an insult in any way but when he spoke again his voice held condescension.

"There are a great many things a King has to look after, no matter the cost or," An arrogant look here. "The time."

I gave him a dry look wondering how we could have been getting along so well and then for it to turn so quickly into a debate of sorts. "And when, may I ask, did you get so-" I was interrupted by the arrival of someone dashing through one of the gardens many paths. The man came to a stop in front of us.

"Your Majesty. Ja-" He cut his self-off catching sight of me.

I wasn't surprised. And before I could tell him to continue, very politely, of course, Caspian said. "What seems to be the problem?"

My annoyance rose as I recognized the man as one of the many from the courtroom last night. I felt I should say something too. "Yes, Trian, do tell us what's wrong." I did not have to fake concern but I did have to keep the caustic edge from my tone.

Both men stared at me as if shocked that I had dared to ask. And I couldn't help the small smile that spread over my lips at doing so.

"Pardon, My Lady," Trian gave me a look of respect as if he had not figured I would remember the name of a common man such as he. "I did not mean to interrupt your meal." To Caspian he said. "James wishes to speak with you when you have the time."

Caspian nodded his dark head, both men completely unaware that I was hanging on the edge of their words, willing them to inadvertently give me an answer to any of my questions. "I'll see him when I can" Caspian glanced at me. "Tell him I'm busy right now." Train gave a quick nod to the both of us and left.

Perhaps if I had not overheard everything last night I might have enjoyed Caspian's glance as if my company was really the reason he was sitting here. I might've thought his words sweet.

But I had, so I didn't.

I sent a disconcerted look to Trian's retreating back. "What was that all about?" I dared to ask Caspian.

Caspian turned his dark head to look down at the food in front of him as if it was the most interesting thing he saw. He was avoiding my gaze. "I'm not sure what you mean."

I felt my blood rising, ready to snap at him that he most certainly did. _Easy. _I ordered myself. I realized that kind of an approach to the whole subject would not get me anywhere. "If I asked you what..." I trailed off of my own accord, cutting short a rebuttal that probably also wouldn't get me anywhere.

Caspian, unaware of my annoyance asked. "If you asked me what, Lucy?" He didn't look up from his plate.

I stared out across the gardens, to get a tight hold on my tongue before saying. "Nothing." He looked about to say something to that so I hurriedly asked him a question that burned in my mind, not quite as hot as the others, but almost. "Caspian, who is this man that everyone is talking about? The one that's been outside the gates all morning." I explained at his puzzled expression.

He finally deigned his self to look me in the eyes again. "What man? Who told you this?" Curiosity edged his tone, no longer sounding irritated at my questions.

Slowly, I explained what I'd been told; leaving out whom exactly told me. "And he knows me, or so he's been saying." I finished. "What do you know about any of it?"

A frown crossed his full lips. "I had no idea; I was not informed of any of this." He muttered something under his breath, as if in thought, that I could not understand. "Are you sure of this?" He asked with no small amount of skepticism.

I scowled at his little confidence in my words. "Do you think I would just purposefully make up something like that?" My hold on my temper wavered at remembering his doubt at my words last night as well. "Why would I do that? A laugh perhaps? And I'm glad to see I'm not the only one being misinformed."

Caspian pinned me with his eyes, silent for a long moment. No apology evident in his tone. "What does that mean?" His dark eyes searched my face. "What did you mean by that?"

His eyes made me suck in a nervous breath as they always seemed to. But I wasn't taking back my words. "Why do you doubt me so much all of a sudden?" I didn't answer his question. "Since I got here yesterday, you seem..." He watched me closely making me my already parched mouth even dryer. "Last time I was here you trusted me, we were friends. What's changed that?"

Caspian looked speechless. I hardly believed I'd even dared to say all that. I hadn't even _known _that bothered me so much. I ground my teeth together. _And now he really thinks me a silly little girl._

"Lucy, I don't doubt your words." He murmured. "And we'll always be friends; I did not realize I'd acted so rudely towards you." He cleared his throat in an uncharacteristically nervous manner. "Narnia is a different place now, Lu, no matter how much it looks the same, its dangerous."

His apologetic words did nothing to erase the lies I'd been told and the fact that he would be leaving me here in a fortnight, a young girl to be protected from some danger that I had to remain completely ignorant of. How did that make sense to anyone? Least of all me.

I was the Warrior Queen, why did that girl, that young woman I'd once been seem so far away? Where was she? Did I leave her behind along with the heart that now belonged to a King that said we would always be _friends? 'Aslan what's happened to me?' _

Forgetting all my questions for the moment, I didn't have to stand here and be told what was going to happen in a fortnight and that I would be staying here. I already knew because I had eavesdropped on Caspian and James' discussion in the courtroom last night. I would not be told I had to stay. And I did not wish to hear an excuse,_ another lie, _come out of his mouth because of it. I pushed my chair away from the beautifully arranged table. Standing to leave.

"Lucy, what-"

I glanced to the gardens surrounding us; _I will not be here in a fortnight_. "Yes, we're _friends_ Caspian." The statement sounding bitter to my own ears.

Right then I made up my mind that when a fortnight had passed, I would not be standing around being _guarded. _I would have some answers by then, I reasoned. So I was going with Caspian. If I had to sneak out of the castle and trail him and his men all the way to...wherever it was they were going, I would.

I would find my answers and I would prove that I could be and was always the Warrior Queen; I would find the Queen I used to be.

That I chose to be.

And I would prove that I didn't have to be hidden from some great danger because I was a girl, I had fought many a war alongside my brothers, and I could do the same now. Maybe I'd regret my decision later on, but it would be dealt with in time.

"Lucy, where are you going?" Caspian stood also, tipping his chair onto the lush green grass, startling a chipmunk. "I still want to talk with you."

I was also not going to run from him. "Fine then, walk with me Caspian. I want to explore the gardens." I said calmly as if everything was perfectly fine. I waited a second to let him fall into step beside me and I chose a path to wander down.

We were both silent and the pause was awkward as we were both still irritated at the other.

A few moments later Caspian broke the silence. "You're angry with me." It was not a question, and I could not deny it.

"And you with me." I said, not arguing his statement.

"Just a bit...vexed, perhaps, not angry." He admitted. "Do you wish to tell me why you're so angry with me?" He tried to keep the question light but it bordered on an order.

I walked slowly, letting my eyes take in the Narnia he claimed was so changed from last time. But I knew better than anyone that looks could be deceiving. "It's not important." Evidence of that walked beside me.

"You don't say those kinds of things if it's nothing, Lucy." He said gently, but firmly. I didn't turn to meet his eyes for I knew they would have softened in a friendly sort of way that would make my heart skip, regardless of the anger I held against him.

If I looked into his eyes I might forgive him too easily.

"It is nothing. Nothing important."

He reached out, grasping my arm in a strong hand to pull me to a stop. "You're lying." As I pulled away from his touch he reached, touching a hand to my cheek, tilting my head so I had no choice but to look into his relentlessly beautiful eyes. "Tell me." He coaxed, the wary, irritated, young man gone for that moment, in his place the King I had known on the Dawn Treader. That I'd missed.

I felt my self-falling for him. Felt my willpower waver. _Is he doing this on purpose? Does he realize what an effect he has on me? _I forced my eyes to anywhere but his eyes. I would not relent. Not that easily.

My eyes dropped down, to his mouth. His unshaven chin was dark with the start of a beard, making him look dangerously tempting.

"I-" I had an urge to run my fingers across his face, to feel the roughness of his prickly skin. And I actually got so far as to raise my hand to do so when...

The sound of someone running through the gardens coming towards Caspian and me, made me stop and Caspian drop his hand from me face. We whirled around in unison as shouts accompanied the sound of even more feet trampling throughout the gardens in their haste.

Caspian and I both made sounds of surprise and he grasped my arm to pull me behind him just as a man broke through the beautifully thick foliage that made up the gardens.

The man was panting from running, and he looked haggard from what I could see of him, his clothing ripped and filthy, and his dark hair straggling in his face.

_The man from outside the gates. _I thought, but I had a sudden inkling about that man, that I _did _know him from somewhere.

And then I knew.

I knew who he was even before he shoved a masculine hand through his normally short brown hair, dark with filth and perspiration, to reveal his face. Caspian made some sound of warning as the man's eyes landed on me, a smile coming to the man's face as he spotted me.

And something like relief coated his features, though I guess I could have been mistaken as he was covered in mud.

"Unbelievable." I said aloud, causing Caspian and a whole group of soldiers who'd come sliding into the garden path all stop and stare at their Queen as if she was addled. They watched between the man and me, searching desperately for an explanation as to why I had spoken to the man as if I knew him.

The young man smiled broadly at me, looking relieved and happy at my recognition of him. "Queen Lucy."

I smiled disbelievingly at...

_**He he he. I am so evil. How about reviewing if you want to find out who it is? ;)**_


	12. Questions and Answers Can Be Dangerous

_**I want to thank everyone for the reviews I got on the last chapter, they really made me smile! I would list their names but its 3:30 in the morning...lol**_

_**I also proofread this at 2 something in the morning so forgive any errors.**_

_**That all I can think of at the moment...(I'll probably think of something later that I should add but nothings coming' to me now)**_

_**So read on! **_

_**Chapter 12- Questions and Answers Can Be Dangerous Things**_

"Thomas!" Three very different voices coincided at the same moment. And those three people all turned to stare at the other two.

One was me. One was Caspian, to which I felt a question pricking me, rising in my chest. "How do you know Thomas?" But my question was lost as the men all started talking rapidly among themselves.

And the third person, my eyes sought amongst the crowd on the gardens path that had been empty, excluding Caspian and me, moments before. My mind somehow knew who it was before I actually saw him. _James. _For the briefest of seconds his ice cold eyes met mine.

The young girl in me wanted to shiver and avoid his gaze at the look, but the Queen in me refused that cowardly impulse and I straightened my back ever so slightly, meeting his eyes until _he _looked away.

Thomas stepped forward, making my eyes jerk to him as he ignored the men who looked as if they would kill him without a seconds thought if he touched me, saying. "You've no idea what a time I had trying to find you Queen Lucy."

He reached and to my complete surprise embraced me with a quick hug that made every man once again fall into an outraged silence, as if they couldn't quite believe what they were seeing.

The embrace was cut short, I realized, by Caspian, his hand had grabbed Thomas by the arm and pulled him away from me.

I shot Caspian a confused look. "What's wrong?" Caspian did not glance to me as he was glaring furiously at Thomas. I noticed his hand was rather tight on Thomas' arm, which it had to be hurting. I touched Caspian's hand, tugging at it. "Caspian! Stop it. I know Thomas, he's my," I hesitated but continued as I now had Caspian's attention. And everybody else's too. "He's my friend."

Caspian looked disbelievingly on. "How is this man any friend of yours? He shouldn't even be here." He shot another look at a squirming Thomas. "He's exiled." Caspian only lessened his grip a little as his words confounded me further.

"How would you know?" I snapped. I had never known Caspian to be so cold and unforgiving. I did not take my question back, and perhaps it may've been a bit forward of me but I had already said it and it was out there, driving another barrier between us.

Caspian turned dark eyes to me, taking me in, making my heart bounce frantically in my chest, even when the look was far from sweet. He was angry now. I had spoken out among his men, questioning his judgment. _This is going rather well. _I thought with no humor.

He only looked at me for a few moments but it seemed an eternity before he said coolly. "Thomas and I know each other, don't we Thomas?" He wasn't expecting an answer and Thomas did not give one, though he looked chagrined all of a sudden and stopped struggling against Caspian's tight hold.

That cryptic statement was all Caspian offered, adding yet another question to my already hundreds. And before I could ask or say anything more, Caspian spoke firmly. "James." Saying the man's name held an undertone of an order that both men understood without further explanation.

It was just the rest of us left in ignorance. _Or, _I couldn't help in annoyance. _It's just me._

And just like that, three guards stepped forward and grabbed each of Thomas' arms tightly in hands that looked as if they'd seen many a fight and the third man fell behind him to block any possible escape. Thomas looked perfectly docile now.

He wasn't struggling. He did not protest. He gave me a quick look before they took him away. _Defeated, he looked defeated. _I felt sorrow for what had caused that particular expression to cross his handsome face.

I was proven wrong however, as he looked to me and whatever he saw on my face made him pull against his guards and protest to Caspian. "I say, Caspian, can I even have a word before you have me dragged off to the dungeons?" Thomas tried to keep his voice light with wry humor but I caught the hint of fear in his words.

I protested as well, "Caspian!" By grabbing Caspian's arm in both my hands to keep him from leaving as well. "For whatever reason you dislike Thomas, I am not a part of that quarrel; I wish to speak with Thomas." I felt bolder by my own words. "Alone." I dared to say.

He made as if to turn and face me, stopping halfway so I was left looking at a view of his profile. He did nothing to acknowledge my request that had come out as more of an order. Nodding at his men to continue on as if I had said nothing at all.

It was such a blatant and open disregard of me as a person let alone a Queen that I did nothing to control the boiling anger that simmered just below the surface in my chest. I glared at him.

As if he felt my fury he said. "You don't know that man." It wasn't a question.

"How would you know?" I slowly asked for the second time that day. "How would you know whom I was friends with or not?" My anger was coming mostly from hurt. Because he wouldn't let me in on whatever was going on, refusing to let me near. Though I never would have admitted it. I hardly did so to myself.

Caspian still did not face me. "And how _do_ you know him then?" Caspian gestured around us with irritated hands. "Please, as you're so intent on defending the man, by all means, tell me how he's your friend."

I ground my teeth together and flung my arms out at him. "No, by all means, _King _Caspian, could you deign yourself to tell me why you dislike Thomas so much, instead of condemning him to a dark dungeon?"

Caspian's jaw clenched hard. "What do you think we are? Barbaric? What do you think _I _am? He'll be given a room in the castle," Caspian gave a rough laugh. "Not that he deserves such a courteous."

I stepped closer in my anger. "What is wrong with you? Why are you suddenly acting so, so-" _What is he exactly? _

Caspian cut in. "So what?"

Oh, I had it. "Arrogant, impudent, imperious!" I rattled off three words that easily suited him.

He swung around to look at me angrily, I could see it in his to dark eyes but he did not speak with anger, his next words cold. "I don't remember you being this obstinate." His eyes burned into mine, his face somehow only inches from mine and I hadn't even seen how it got that way.

"Yes, well, maybe you never knew me all that well then, either." With those last words I was all set to turn and leave.

His arm reached to stop me. His breath tickling my cheek as he hissed. "Why do you keep doing that?"

I sucked in a breath at how close he was. "Do what?" I couldn't help asking.

He searched my eyes slowly. "Maybe I don't know you." He murmured so quietly that I strained to hear his words. "But I want-"

"Your Majesty!" James voice broke me from the spell Caspian was unknowingly weaving upon me and I jumped as Caspian's arm dropped from my shoulder.

I couldn't meet Caspian's eyes as I said. "You've been summoned." And before either one of us could say more, I turned walking steadily away from him, down a different garden path than the one we'd walked peacefully down earlier.

As soon as I left his sight I broke into a run, cutting off the well walked paths and letting my feet hit the soft green grass, it gave me comfort of a sort. I had an urge to throw off the slippers Elle had said would look beautiful with this dress.

Slowing a little, I thought. _I need to think. No, _I corrected myself. _I don't need to think, I need to act. These questions aren't going to answer themselves. _I came to a complete stop, letting my weary legs fall underneath me and my dress puffed up around me in a way that was most definitely unladylike.

Shaking my head I slipped my hand into the short sleeve of my gown for the slip of paper. "That blasted piece of paper." I muttered mutinously for no reason in particular, other than to try and cool myself off a bit.

I held the paper in my hands for a moment, fingering the delicate paper, willing it to tell me who it was from. I heaved a great sigh aloud. "And do you hold another question I can't answer?" I slid my fingers down the crease in the paper and pulled it open slowly. I was almost scared to see what it held.

I raised it up against the sun so I could see the neat print that was scrawled across it. This is what it said.

**This is your first chance**

**You were never meant to be here**

**Leave now and forget all you've seen**

**Your life might be spared**

My mouth was dry as I looked to the signature that I thought only a very bold individual would sign a message like this.

The initial, at least I think that's what it was. It was an H of sorts, but it had a strange symbol that started at the top and wound itself around and through the middle of the letter. It looked like a vine, _or maybe, _I felt a chill at my next thought. _A snake. _

It held an uncanny resemblance to a snake; it made my stomach twist with fear and almost instinctively made me reach for my daggers.

Which weren't there, of course. I thought back to the moment in the Dawn Treader's cabin with Caspian. He had offered me something. _Twin swords. _I remembered. For the first time it dawned on me that perhaps they were meant for me, that Caspian had gotten them to replace my daggers and I'd turned my nose up at them without a seconds thought.

I winced at my utter dismissal of him offering me the swords. Maybe I hadn't been the most friendly I could have been when I arrived, looking through his things. I probably would have reacted the same way he had, if it had been him looking through something of mine.

I shoved that away for the moment; it still gave him no right to keep everything a secret from me. My eyes scanned over the note again, even though its words were permanently etched into my mind now. I shivered despite my earlier resolve to be brave.

My mind gave me a vivid picture of the man who'd stood on his knees in that clearing by the water, his dooming words echoing through my very being. _When she's ready, there'll be no stopping 'er. _A chill threaded its down my neck, making the fine hair rise until the chill continued all the way down my back.

So intent and frightened was I on the note that I missed the sound of someone appearing from one of the gardens many paths behind me until they said rather loudly. "Well, now, there you are, I thought you'd up and left me again."

I covered my lips to hold in a shriek. "Trumpkin!" I managed to snap. "You scared me!" The dwarf smiled that grumpy little smile of his.

"Queen Lucy, may I join you?" I nodded, even when I did not wish to have company right then. "And perhaps Her Majesty would oblige me by telling what the matter is?" Trumpkin prodded me in the arm, the gesture, one of old friends.

I tilted my body so I could lean back against the tree I'd came to a stop under. I rested my head back against its steady trunk. "It is a very long story and I don't even understand it all."

Trumpkin ruffled his long gray beard, looking like he was contemplating what to say next. He looked up at the trees large branches that looked as if they stretched on forever to the sky, from where we sat.

"When I first laid my eyes on Queen Lucy, she was happy." The old dwarf gave a gruff smile at the memory. "She was happy to see me alive, even when I did not treat her with kindness she bestowed hers on me without a thought for herself."

Trumpkin held my attention now as I recollected out first meeting, it was also my first meeting of Caspian. I felt conflicted at that memory.

"This little Queen," Trumpkin went on slowly. "Was the brightest, sweetest child I had ever had the pleasure of meeting. She helped me then and now I feel I should help her in return." He paused for breath.

_Why do I not like where this is going? _I wondered.

"But as happy as I saw her then, something about her looks different this time. Trumpkin shook his small head a little. "She is quite easily the happiest I have ever seen her, at the same time however, she looks saddened at times, as if she carries a burden one so young should never have to bear."

I felt surprised at his sentences. Was it so obvious that I felt upset? That I couldn't contain my feelings? I sighed. "Perhaps, she is not sad...but confused, maybe even a little angry." I admitted.

"Will the Queen not tell me why?"

I contemplated it for a moment. Perhaps Trumpkin _could_ help me? "I suppose I just miss my siblings."

Trumpkin nodded his head. "A noble reason. There is more to it than that." The dwarf seemed like he knew everything as he spoke. I wasn't sure I liked it.

I frowned. "Maybe I just don't like that everyone is intent on keeping everything from me." A bold statement indeed.

Trumpkin openly stared at me, watching me. "What is it Queen Lucy thinks everyone is keeping from her?" He wasn't lying exactly, but I could see that he knew perfectly well what I meant.

I gestured around us in annoyance. "What is so dangerous in Narnia? The last time I was here we were faced with a sea serpent, green mist, the slave marketers, and crazy duffle pads!

What in Aslan's name is so dangerous that it's safer to _not_ tell me of the impending danger that I may or may not be a part of? Why is Casp-" I cut short that argument, no need for Trumpkin to know all about my arguing with Caspian.

The dwarf looked grave, hanging his head. "Maybe, King Caspian just wishes to protect you."

I raked a hand in anger across my face. "But from what? How can I expect- How can _he_ expect me to stand aside whilst my home is in danger? Am I to be the maiden in need of rescuing this time?" I gritted my teeth together, hard. "I was once respected in Narnia." I paused. "Not just as a girl and a Queen, but as a warrior." I glanced down at my clenched fist, the condemning piece of paper crumpled there. "Why am I not anymore?"

Trumpkin was in no hurry to speak, he let my words sink in around us slowly. If anybody else had done so the silence would have felt reprimanding, but it didn't with the dwarf. Finally he said and sounding reluctant for the first time. "I do not wish to go against King Caspian." He gave me an apologetic look.

This did nothing to calm my already wayward nerves. "And I suppose that who I am is nothing to anyone anymore? Even my friends?" I couldn't help feeling betrayed by the ones I'd longed to see for months since my last departure from Narnia. "Did it never occur to you or to anyone," I refused to say Caspian. I clutched the paper tighter in my fist. "That I may be more a part of this danger than anyone realizes?"

Trumpkin's gray eyes dropped to my clenched fist and he reached to grab my arm. "What do you mean by that?" His steely gaze looked into my eyes. "What is that?" He made to reach for my fist.

I turned and dodged his hand, saying dryly. "Oh, it's a note from one of my suitors." Trumpkin took my wry comment in stride and did not make to grab the paper again.

He stood and offered me his hand to pull me up. "You know more than anyone thinks, I wager." I took his hand. "Caspian has good reasons for not telling you everything you wish to know," He pulled me up with the ease of a man, despite his smaller size. "Perhaps, in time, you will come to know them.

I gave him a frustrated look. "When will I know? When this is over?"

"When this is over." He agreed, answering cryptically.

"Answer just one question for me, please Trumpkin? Why is Thomas unwelcome here? Why was he exiled and how does he know Caspian?" The words came out in a rush to keep him from leaving.

The dwarf gave a laugh. "That's three questions, my lady." He smiled apologetically again. "But you will have to ask King Caspian for the answers to them, not even I know story behind those two."

The dwarf swung around and made to leave. "Remember what I said Queen Lucy, King Caspian has his reasons. Good ones." He called over his shoulder and started down the path he'd come from.

I watched him go and whispered to his retreating back. "So have I."

I waited until I knew the dwarf was well and truly gone and had no chance to return. I had some exploring to do. I absolutely refused to stop and heed Trumpkin's warnings right at that moment. I could think later, right now I was going to try and find the stone from last night. That couldn't hurt anything, right?

I started back down the garden path I had taken to get away from Caspian. From there I made it to the little table we'd laughed at earlier. I pushed past it. _He has reasons_. Trumpkin's words rang in my ears, regardless of me trying to ignore them. _Is that the very best answer he can give me? I think not._

I hurried back out of the gardens and through the quaint little room Caspian had greeted me in, the sun splaying its golden drops all over his face. I shoved my thoughts away and tried to think where I could find Caspian's chambers.

I had no earthy idea where they might be either. I came to a stop right in front of the large doors outside the courtroom. Caspian's rooms seemed the most logical place to start looking for the stone and the box from his cabin aboard the Dawn Treader.

Assuming he'd had it brought here. Which I figured he had, since it was of great importance to him. Who knows? If I did find his chambers then I might even find some other grand clue that could help me.

Those thoughts I used to try and drive away my nervous fear. I could in no way be caught in Caspian's rooms. Do I need to explain the unladylike actions of searching a man's rooms even when I was not doing anything wrong? At least, not really. Just looking around a bit, perfectly alright.

All I had to do was figure out where his chambers were and quickly.

_Now where would his rooms be? _I pondered silently. Could I ask someone?_ No! _I barked at myself. _No one can know what I'm doing, any of it. _I let my thoughts go back to last night when Caspian and James had left the courtroom. Their footsteps echoing loudly on the marble floor down the hallway.

Had they passed in front of the room I had been eavesdropping/hiding in? I closed my eyes briefly to feel what it was like to be sightless in the darkened room, hoping it would help me to remember, to feel what it felt like to depend on my hearing only.

It worked. _They never passed outside my door. Perhaps that means they went on to Caspian's chambers to further discuss which sister he was besotted with. _I thought with distaste. James words still piercing my heart with the ease with which he and Caspian discussed such matters.

_I can think about that later. _I told myself firmly and walked on past the courtroom.

I walked lightly on the marble floor, watching around me warily, studying my surroundings. I felt uneasy from the note, couldn't quite make myself forget something like that so easily.

And of course if I needed to make a quick exit.

Snooping aside, a part of me could not help but take in the castle's statues that decorated its hallways. Statues of handsome men, elegant ladies, lined the walls, along with crimson draperies.

_The most interesting of it all, _I thought. _Are the portraits. _They were my favorite. Each one was unique. Not just the people in them but if you took the time and stopped long enough you could almost define each one's expression and with it some great story that person had lived through and come out a hero. _Or, _I smiled. _A heroine. _

I made myself keep walking, I had lingered quite enough, Caspian was sure to return if I did not hurry. I came to a series of doors further down the hallways. _Which one? _I walked to the first, laying my small hand on its brass knob, I took a nervous breath and twisted it open quickly but quietly. It opened so easily and revealed that no one occupied it currently. It also revealed that it was not a bedroom but a sitting room. I could have laughed with my relief. Instead I glided back out of the room and closed the door behind me.

The next five doors I opened led me nowhere. One being an empty room, two spare bedrooms, and the other three, a closet full of linens and the other two a study and a library. I was continuing on this way when it came to me that maybe Caspian's room would not be on the first floor. That it would make sense for it to be on the second, as mine was. With that in mind I quickened my pace.

_Perhaps there's a staircase on this side of the castle somewhere? _The next few minutes consisted of me bounding in and out of doorways. I scurried like a mouse down the hallways till I was fairly certain I was probably lost. I could worry about that later.

The very next door I opened I discovered just what I had been looking for, the staircase. It wound itself upwards, but it was not a normal staircase such as the one I descended that morning to come to meet Caspian, but one that if a person wanted to go by unnoticed, he could.

I was certain that this was where I could find a way into Caspian's chambers. I wasted no time getting up the creaky stairs, ignoring the gloom that lurked there, making the short flight up seem longer. The stairwell opened up at the top into a very small, very dark hallway.

The small hall was cold and the sudden change made chills rise on my arms. I crossed my arms over my chest and hugged them to my body.

Fear suddenly making its way into my mind. I reached about for something comforting to make myself not think about the note or anything else. _''Aslan will you help me? Help me not be afraid?'' _I said the prayer out loud to fill the empty silence.

I ventured forward a few steps to see that there were two doors that went either direction at the other end of the small hall. I checked the knobs on both. Both were locked.

_Now what? Blasted locks! _I gave a huff, though I was too frightened to be truly annoyed at the locked doors. I had a bad feeling in my stomach, something I had felt before. When I was at war with my brothers and someone had been spying on us without our knowing. I felt alarmed but I tried to calm myself by thinking of a way to get the doors unlocked.

I bit my lip hard. "_Aslan." _I couldn't help squeaking for comfort. _Maybe I can pick the locks? _I made myself think. I was already overstepping my bounds, so what were a few picked locks? I had seen Ed do it once or twice getting into our Aunts locked cupboards. _Maybe this isn't a good idea. _I heard Caspian words in my ears as he'd said. _Obstinate. _Is that what I was? I didn't feel that way.

Turning, I felt my way back down the stairs. I was, I believe, about halfway down when I felt the terror rise in me again. Something made me freeze. _Was I alone right now? _Aslan was always with me I knew, but this was different it felt... Something in me screamed, _Get out now_! The instinct took over and I vaulted down the stairs, my hand reaching for the knob.

I turned it; it stopped halfway through the turn. _No! _I felt the terror raise even more, the blood in my face draining as I realized something.

I was locked in. Both ways. My pulse ran rampant and I felt sick. _Stop it Lucy. _I tried to calm myself and force some air into my lungs. _What can I do? Scream and hope someone comes? But what if some enemy, say the one who wrote the note, is out there and locked me in here? _I slumped back against the stairs.

I had no weapons, other than my hands. That stuck out the most to me, Warrior Queen or not, I had never been locked into a dark staircase before. I felt weak from fear. _"Please help me Aslan." _

I tried the knob again hoping that it would open and it would have been a mistake on my part. It wasn't. It was too dark in the stairwell; I had to get back into some light. I made my way to the top of the stairs on trembling legs. When I got to the top I forced myself to breathe deeply as I braced my hands against the wall to steady myself.

I had to think. Pick a lock? How had Ed done it? I searched my mind. _A knife. _He'd used a penknife. It had a thin blade that flipped out. Did I have anything thin and pointy? I looked down in the dim light to my dress and slippers.

The dress was silky, lightweight, and extraordinarily lacy. The slippers, just as they sounded, silky with embroidery around the ankles. Jewelry, just a pair of earrings that Elle had insisted on. Dainty and small.

I straightened up from my hunched position against the wall as I had an idea. _My hair! _I brought my hands to my hair, feeling all the pins and twists Elle had used to force my unruly hair into place. I wriggled my fingers into it all, pulling out a pin. Thin and not blunt, but not quite sharp either. It would have to do.

''Thank you Aslan." I muttered as I slid the object into the door to the rights key hole. I heard it scraping against metal and felt it hit the inside of the knob. I twisted it hard, fingering the small pin and wrenching it around, to make it work. But it wasn't. I felt the fear I'd held back rising up with a vengeance again.

_What if no one finds me? _I bit back the wave of terror. _I will not be afraid. _I told myself. I pulled the pin free of the doors key hole so I could try it on the other one.

Minutes ticked by and my resolve to not be frightened was not working. No one had any idea where I might be and I certainly did not relish the thought of sleeping here tonight.

I shoved my open palm to the pin in hopes that I could force it in further, it didn't budge. All it gave me was a throbbing hand, I pulled my hand back to assess the damage, and it was bleeding. It made my stomach give a little flip and I hurriedly swiped away the spot of crimson.

I touched a strand of hair that had fallen with my pulling the pin out and shoved it out of my face. That gave me another idea! I wriggled another pin out of my used to be elaborate but now half up, half down, straggling one. _I'm sure Elle will be ecstatic. _I thought dryly.

I twisted my first pin to the right, pushing the other one in beside it and I twisted them both. Fingering them slowly until I heard a small creaking sound. I turned the knob, smiling in relief. _Thank you Aslan. _The door opened to...

Darkness. I reached tentatively in front of my body and took a hesitant step forward. _No stairs. _I felt sure of that. _Another hallway, maybe. _I crept slowly forward, raising my hands to either side of me, letting them guide me.

If Caspian had indeed been using this door and the hallway, it seemed a great amount of trouble just to be hidden from prying eyes. Then again it probably only felt that way because I'd been locked in without any way out. _Well, _I corrected. _Almost no way out. _My next step forward colliding against something. I stumbled, falling up against a solid wall.

I reached my hands up. _Hard wood. _I groped in the darkness, there had to be something there. I ran my hands over the seemingly solid wall, coming to rest on a spot that could have easily been a disfigurement in the wood. I traced my thumb over it. _It would help if I could see a blasted thing._

I pressed the indention. And gasped in shock as the wall in front of me slid open. A panel, big enough for a man to get through if he got down on his hands and knees to crawl.

All I had to do was stoop low and slip through the hole. Waning light reached me from the space I was now in, I crouched low so as not to hit my head. The light made it feel as though I could breathe steadily once again.

I pulled myself forward, trying to hold my dress in one hand and grab hold of some handhold with the other, which was not easy, hence my want for pants. I raised my head a little, banging it on the low ceiling despite my attempts at trying not to. Now successfully out of the hole I was in a tunnel like crevice. _What is this? _I inched forward on the musty floor, the light coming from only feet away.

A large slit in this wall let in a welcoming shine of light, this wall was not wall, I realized, but another panel. With little effort I slid it open. Light dazzled my eyes as I slid forward into another crevice like space. That is, until I tilted my head back and looked up.

I grasped the sides of this crevice and pulled myself upwards to find I was in someone's chambers. I grinned down at what I'd crawled out of. _A trunk. _The trunk was huge and looked to have been built into the wall, the back of it sliding open and closed to hide the fact that it was a tunnel. The only reason light had reached me was because someone had left the panel cracked and the trunks lid open. _What a twisted, clever idea. _I grinned, despite my previous dismay, nothing like this ever happened back in England.

_Now to figure out whose chambers I'm in. _I ventured out into the middle of the room, finding that it was unoccupied at that moment. I peeked into the next room.

A large bed sat made and looking neat. That made me smile as well, remembering the just so, out of place of Caspian's cabin aboard the Dawn Treader. My eyes took in the rest of the room slowly, landing on the bedside table. _A good place to start? _I smiled mischievously.

I slid open the top drawer. Paper, a tin of...peppermints. Nothing of interest. I searched the other three drawers with even less results than the top drawer had revealed.

Backing away from the bedside table, I wandered about the room. It was definitely a man's room, you could tell. The closets and armoire filled with men's clothing, pants, tunics, boots and various other men's wears. I bit back a laugh as I thought of what Susan would say of me searching a man's room, let alone it probably being Caspian's. I covered my mouth to keep in a laugh.

Nothing was hidden in the bedroom. Of that I was certain, so I went back into the room that held the trunk passageway. I took in the possible places that something could be hidden. There were three other trunks, a bookshelf, and another closet.

Sighing I started on the first trunk skimming through its contents, it was filled with paper, ink and such things. The second, blankets, sheets and such as that. The third trunk was the tunnel so I skipped over it and on to the last trunk.

It offered up something very useful. _Twin blades. _The twin blades Caspian had on the Dawn Treader were underneath a few knives and scabbards, sheaths, and chain mail. They were wrapped up in a blanket. I brushed the blanket aside and it was if the swords glowed with pleasure. I looked at them closely; there was something strange about them.

What happened next left me at a loss for words. I ran my fingertips across the steel blade of one sword; they glowed with a golden light reflecting off their blades. A breeze caressed my cheek, ruffling my hair. Something made me touch my other hand to the hilt of one of the swords; a sensation ran through my hand, feeling powerful.

Almost like the swords were asking to be a part of me. I was transfixed; I wrapped both hands around one of the swords, lifting it, letting the blanket fall away. It burned against my palm with an icy hot feeling. I reached for its twin.

"Not now." I would have sworn the words were meant for me, I dropped the sword back into place with a clanging sound. Footsteps sounded in the next room and my eyes widened.

How had I not heard someone come in? I glanced down at the swords, feeling something that I hadn't felt in a long time. _Magic. _I couldn't decide if it was a bad or a good thing.

I covered the swords back as quickly as I could and closed the trunk. Where could I hide? Caspian's voice rang out before I could move. "No one has seen her since this afternoon, since Thomas showed his face." I froze.

James spoke. "She's probably embarrassed at her forwardness earlier and doesn't wish to face you." The words sounded so nonchalant coming out of his mouth, so easy, like he thought he knew it all. I seethed inside.

Caspian spoke back with skepticism. "Lucy? Embarrassed at telling the truth?" He laughed gruffly. "I think not."

James was quiet. "You think her right then? At speaking out among your own men?" Here, I learned self-restraint, for I had a sudden urge to claw James eyes out. Not that I actually would, you understand.

"You speak quite frankly about Queen Lucy, my friend. You would do well to remember who she is and that even if she shouldn't have said it among my men, she spoke within reason. She has no idea what's going on." I could see him running a hand through his thick hair. "Sometimes I think it would be better if I just told her everything."

I clenched my fists and leaned eagerly to the door. James ice blue eyes flashed with contained anger. "I thought we were in agreement that it was safer, safer for everyone not to." I inched closer to the door that separated us, maybe not my wisest choice but I couldn't just go and hide and _not _listen to them.

Caspian spoke firmly but almost regretfully. "We are. I said I'd thought about it."

James lips pressed into a thin line. "Very well Caspian, let's have a look at those swords now."

I gasped and jumped away from the door, I searched for an escape. The trunk passageway was closest but I would bet that it would make noise going in; the closet was my next best choice, so I broke into a run across the room, sliding into the closet just as boots crossed the threshold from the next room. Holding my breath I backed up from the door as boots came nearer and nearer to the outside.

If I got caught how would I even try to explain this? I tried not to think too much about that. Moving so quickly and carelessly I did not see something on the floor until I tripped over it, falling back into coats, I grasped for a hold to lessen the noise of my fall, hitting the floor with a small thud.

'_Oh please don't let them have heard that.' _I froze in fear. But neither man came to investigate the noise.

I glanced down into the near darkness to see what had tripped me. And I could have cried out in delight. Caspian's box from the Dawn Treader was right there, literally at my fingertips. I clutched the box in my hands. I could barely make it out in the dim light but I could feel the lock, remember most of the pattern it took to get it open. My hands itched with impatience as I waited for the lid to pop up and reveal all its secrets.

I felt sure that Caspian and James were not coming into the closet right then so I crawled back into a brighter spot. I put my hands into the box and pulled out the first thing that I touched.

A smooth stone. I held it up for inspection to the light coming through the crack in the door. There were words etched into the stone's glassy surface.

**You've been warned**

**You'd do well to heed that warning**

**But then you know that don't you?**

**He was the first but not the last**

It was signed with them same winding snake like H that my note held. Caspian was being threatened? The same as I was. But why? I dropped the stone, feeling like I needed to wash my hands to get rid of any trace of such evil that the stone could have left on them. Shivering I reached for the papers in the box.

I unfolded the top one. A document for trading some cargo from the Dawn Treader. I looked at the other ones, peace treaties and other such documents, nothing that could help me.

The very last paper was the only one that looked different than the others; the paper was different and smelt vaguely of something sweet. I picked it up slowly, as I did something slid from underneath it, making a soft clanging sound.

_A ring. _It lay there looking as innocent as any jewelry might. _The jewelry that I saw from the Dawn Treader! _I exclaimed silently, scooping it up, looking at it before the last piece of paper. Gasping aloud despite Caspian and James being just outside the door. I cupped my hand around the golden ring watching it catch the light.

It bore three symbols, symbols that were etched deeply into its sides and top as deeply as they were in my own mind. A cross- a symbol of Narnia's faith. The Lion- of our protector. That left the broken sword- a symbol of what? I knew nothing of it, other than this ring I cupped gently in the palm of my hand was the very same as the one I had from Thomas.

I reached for Thomas' ring that I'd tucked away in my gown, held it beside the other.

The same. The very same.

Caspian _did_ know Thomas. He'd said as much but I couldn't begin to fathom why they would both be wearing the same ring.

_James._ Something made me recall the first time I saw him and his icy blue gaze. He'd worn a chain roundabout his neck. Could he carry a ring such as this, as well?

I needed to find out. But what would it mean if he did too? Were they all part of some...some group of...what exactly?

James' words echoed in my head. '_Maybe your people need to be reminded that you still need them.' _I swallowed. His people? I had a feeling they weren't just talking about his people as in _everyone_. This was different. And in less than a fortnight Caspian would be going to reassure these people, whoever they were.

I resolved even more that I would be there when that fortnight had passed, even if I was lurking in the shadows. I sat the ring back where it belonged and slipped Thomas' back into my gown. I put the documents back in their rightful places, all except the last one. That one I opened in a hurry, for I already knew where I was going to look for answers next. _Thomas. _

Thomas could be a great help to me if I could find him.

Assuming I got out of Caspian's chambers without getting caught. The letter in my hand was nothing, I figured and would have just tossed it back with the others had I not glimpsed a name that grated on my nerves.

Lilliandril. I had not thought I could be any more shocked than I had already been today. I was wrong. Seeing Ramandu's daughters name made something shift inside me that I did not like at all. And I wasn't sure I could put it into words either.

I looked to the words that flowed with a beautifully elegant script you could only expect of a star.

_'My dear Caspian,_

_You once said that you would like to see me again. I was too shy to say at the time, but I wished it as well. I'm writing this letter to you now in hopes that perhaps we...'_

I stopped reading. Something made me stop. I had already pried into Caspian things, his chambers, without him knowing. I felt guilty reading a letter meant to be private for the two of them only. It made me sad and angry as well.

Why couldn't Caspian just let me in on everything? Why were we more like enemies than the friends we used to be? I folded the letter back. A part of me didn't even want to know what the star had written. _Something terribly sweet and romantic, probably. _I couldn't help thinking with... disgust? No, _jealousy. _I wanted to be the one writing him those kinds of letters.

I closed the box and put it back in the closet where I first tripped on it.

~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~

A half an hour later I was able to make it out of Caspian's rooms unscathed and no one none the wiser at what I'd found out and learned. I had never felt so glad to see the sunlight streaming through the great windows just outside the door to his room.

Now, if I ever had need to get back in his chambers, I could come the normal way and not through that ridiculous tunnel. I was very relieved by that.

Like all things my relief was short-lived as I rounded the corner heading back towards my room, I ran into someone.

Caspian steadied me as James stood by looking amused, and suspicious. "Ah, here she is now." James spoke coolly and nodded at me. "You have impeccable timing. His Highness was about to send out a search party for you."

Caspian made a warning sound. "Where have you been Lucy? Elle was looking for you, said she needed to get you ready for dinner."

I raised a shoulder in a quick dismissal. "I was exploring the castle." I ducked my head like a child would, being embarrassed. No need for them to know anything.

Caspian raised a dark eyebrow. "You look it." Something in his gaze made me nervous. Did he suspect something?

I forced a quick laugh. "I probably do." The last thing that I needed was a suspicious Caspian. I smiled as innocently as I could, considering everything I'd just found. And everything that I still needed to find out.

Caspian grasped my hand, making me wince as his rougher fingers pressed the tender spot on my palm the pin had caused. "Let's get you to your room so we can go to dinner." Seeing me cringe he asked quickly. "What's wrong?"

I shook my head. "I just hit my hand a while ago, its nothing." Caspian ignored me and turned my hand over for his inspection. "Caspian, really-" I protested.

His fingers tickled my palm as he ran them over the small wound, I didn't even feel the sting of it with him standing so close, couldn't look away from his face. "You're bleeding." He said. "What did you do?"

I glanced away from his face to see that he was right, I was bleeding. I felt panic at the sight of the red. Why? I had been touching the letters in his room, the clothes, and everything. Had I left blood on anything? Caspian's grip tightened on my hand and I realized he had asked me a question. "Oh, I saw a statue I liked, and his sword was rather sharp." I tried to make a comical excuse, feeling angry with myself for lying and mad at him for having to lie.

James gave a blunt laugh, reminding me that he still stood with us. "That's rather ridiculous."

My lips curled a little in annoyance. "I was thinking the same about you." _Where did that come from? _

"Lucy." Caspian's tone took on a faintly chiding tone.

I bit the inside of my lip, knowing he was right this time. "Sorry." I muttered James' way. But I didn't have to like it.

His cold eyes were on me but I ignored the look as he said. "Indeed."

I stepped away from the both of them to head back to my room. "I'll see you at dinner." I called over my shoulder by way of goodbye.

Both men followed me. "First let's get your hand taken of." Caspian said firmly.

James fell into step on my other side and we walked in silence all the way to my room. _Uncomfortable silence. _I grimaced inwardly.

It was over none too quick enough as we arrived outside my room minutes later. Caspian opened the door for me. He gave a half bow. "My lady." He smiled.

I couldn't resist smiling in return, though it was not so easy to forget our argument from earlier for me as it seemed for him. And the letter from Lilliandril chafed me inside like an old worn out pair of boots did my feet.

I walked in my room expecting them to leave but Caspian stepped into my room nodding and saying. "Go ahead and wash up." He gestured at the water basin. To James he said. "Go and fetch Elle for Lucy."

James disappeared from my doorway and left me even more uncomfortable with Caspian. I did as he said and washed the dirt from my hands. I had not meant to get so filthy. _It must have been the tunnel. _I just really hoped that I had not left any traces of my blood on his documents, especially the letter.

I looked up to see my reflection no longer alone in the mirror on the wall, Caspian was watching me. A strange expression on his handsome features. The instant our eyes met in the mirror, the look was gone.

"Here," Caspian offered a clean towel for me to dry my hands and face on. "You still have a," His hand darted forward and brushed my cheek. "Spot here." I lowered my head, face a mild shade of pink, I was certain.

I moved to step around him but he blocked me. "Sit down." He ordered mildly.

I rolled my eyes. "You could quit ordering me around." I suggested, but sat down on the edge of my bed. He came and knelt in front of me, holding out his hand waiting for me to lay mine in his open palm. I held it out to him, sighing. "Answer something for me Caspian."

He didn't look up from wiping salve on my hand. "Hmmm?" Was his only response. For a second I wanted to know if he felt as...wonderful as I did whenever he touched my hand or face but I wasn't _that _brave, or foolish.

He wrapped a piece of cloth on my skin. "Tell me how you know Thomas." He didn't say anything until he finished with my hand and even then he didn't acknowledge my question.

"What were you _really _doing all afternoon?" His wise eyes probed my blue ones for an honest reply.

I pulled my hand away from him and stood. "I was telling the truth when I said I was exploring the castle." _Just not the parts you're thinking of. _I added silently, walking to my closet to look over my dress choices for tonight. My hand came to rest on a red one; I slipped it off a hanger, and went to toss it over the changing screen.

"Will you stop a moment Lucy? I want you to tell me something. I want you to finish telling me about the men who chased you and Peter. I need you too." He said quietly.

_Do you now? _I did not look to him. "What would you like me to tell you? There's nothing more. They chased us, I heard hoof beats coming after us, I ran onto a rotten bridge, and I got washed off the bridge." I paused, hesitant to say more. "I did get chased outside Cair Paravel by a band of men." I admitted with not nearly as much reluctance as I thought I would have telling him.

Caspian strode across the room to stand before me. "Tell me what-" Realizing he was about to command me to do something again he stopped. "Will you tell me what happened?" He asked instead.

I did. I told him about the person in the barn, the one's chasing us to the bridge, the men in Narnia. Whether I told him because I still felt partly guilty for having sorted in his things or because I really wanted too was debatable. Perhaps I did it for both reasons.

When I finished Caspian looked almost disappointed. "That's it?" He prodded me. "Nothing else?"

I gave him a hard look. "Would you rather I had gotten caught?"

His lips curled into a smile and he said nothing, like he was thinking about the answer. I shoved him, hard. He laughed breaking his stoic looking expression. "Of course not, then you wouldn't be wandering around here getting into mischief and getting hurt." He caught the hand I raised to hit him again, closing his strong fingers over it. "I don't remember you hitting me this much last time you were here." He had a playful look about him.

I ignored the look, no matter how appealing it was on a man of 20 years. "Now that I've answered your questions, will you do the same for me?"

"Like what?" I shifted under his quizzical eyes.

"Thomas, I want to know about Thomas." I barely kept the snap from my voice. He knew what I wanted to know he just didn't want to tell me for some unexplainable reason.

His demeanor shifted. "Why don't you tell me how you know him first?" He challenged me.

I brushed my straggling hair out of my eyes. "I already told you he was my friend."

"But how is he your friend?" His eyes narrowed slightly. "He wasn't a-" His voice sounded strange to my ears.

"He wasn't a what?" I tilted my head with some curiosity now. "Never mind, just tell me why you dislike him so much and I promise I will leave it at that." I said with no small amount of annoyance.

He raked a hand through dark hair. "Why does it matter so much to you?"

I jerked away from him. "Never mind, I need to dress for dinner Caspian. I'll see you at dinner." I tried to get to the door and let him out but he reached out to stop me.

"Lucy wait, just wait." He said softly. "Thomas and I used to be friends."

I gave a small humorless laugh. "Kind of like us?"

Caspian's face darkened. "Will you let me finish? Thomas and I...we were friends, good friends and he betrayed me many years ago. He was exiled because of that betrayal."

"But what betrayal was so great that he was exiled to..." I trailed off finishing my thought in silence. Why would he be in England? Was he sent there for exile and if so how?

Caspian's hand touched my chin to tilt my face up to his. "Exiled to where? To your world?" He asked quickly. "Is that what you meant?"

My skin burned under his light touch and my heart sped up. Shaking my head slightly I said. "His betrayal?" I questioned a second time.

"It was a long time ago Lucy, nothing that matters now." He refused to say anything more.

"No," I contradicted him. "It doesn't matter at all. Just when he showed up here again you had him sent away with at least a dozen guards. But it doesn't matter."

Caspian was starting to look irritated now. "Do you think it a coincidence that he's shown up here when-" He cut his self-off and started again. "With the trouble here in Narnia? Don't you think that it would make me twice a fool to trust a man who's betrayed me once already?" He said like I was a child. Condescendingly.

"You look like one anyway." The sentence shot out of my mouth like gunfire before I even knew what I was going to say. "Why don't you trust _my_ judgment? I don't think he's the one you should be worried about."

Before I could think of anything else his arm went around my waist. "Is there anything else you want tell me?" His eyes looked black as they blazed into mine. His breath warm on my already flaming face.

I couldn't move. Well almost, I shifted my head so my lips were upturned waiting for his inevitable kiss. There was no use trying to breath, he had that kind of effect on me. His mouth was a breath from mine. Closer, the space closed so slowly it was as if something held us apart. But that couldn't be. My hand felt his heart pounding beneath his shirt.

I had never been kissed before in my life and there was nothing more at that moment that I wanted than to be kissed. To be kissed by him.

;D

X Oh,

X did

X you

X actually

X want

X to find

X out

X if they

X kiss

X or

X not?

X

X

X I'm

X kinda

X mean

X to

X be

X doing

X this... :D

His hand crept up to rest on my neck, I felt like I was falling. Falling into him.

A knock sounded at the bedroom door.

Caspian's arm dropped from its hold on my waist. He winked at me, smirking. "You look pretty when your face is red." With that he slipped out the door past Elle.

The older woman looked between us with raised eyebrows and hands perched on her hips. "I guess I wasn't needed after all?"

All I could do was stand there with my blushing cheeks and think. '_Aslan help me.' _

~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~

I almost pleaded ill so I wouldn't have to sit next to Caspian and make small talk after that _interlude _we'd had. One knowingly mischievous look from Elle silenced me right up. As it was, dinner went smoothly; Caspian did not even make one comment about that _moment_. Even James was uncharacteristically quiet and not in the least snotty.

So within the silence I had to keep my mind away from the memory of Caspian's hand on my neck and breath on my cheek, so I thought about Thomas.

How was I to find him? I needed to find his room because I _was_ going to get some answers out of him. Without anyone knowing. That was the difficult part.

I yawned widely as we exited the dining room. I was tired but I followed James and Caspian down the hall into the study anyway. As they sat I wandered sleepily over to the shelves that lined one wall. I ran my fingers over there bindings, glancing only once to the bandage Caspian had put there.

I made my eyes continue roving over the books, stopping to read their titles. I stopped on one titled History of the Kings and Queens of Narnia. I slid it from its place and opened it up, skimming through quickly, stopping on a section titled The Golden Age; it was as familiar to me as my own name.

I was vaguely aware of James and Caspian discussing types of swords as I walked to the empty seat beside Caspian, I waved them both off as they started to stand. My eyes took in the words on the page that were so familiar and yet so strange and different at the same time.

High King Peter- The Magnificent

High Queen Susan- The Gentle

King Edmund- The Just

And finally. Queen Lucy- The Valiant

Queen Lucy the warrior. The Warrior Queen. I read what someone had written about me.

It said that I had protected an entire village from a band of hundreds of wild hogs. Fighting until I was bruised and bloody but I never stopped fighting and eventually I won. Singlehandedly.

My mind went back to the _real _story. I had not been alone. The village people had band together to stand against the wild, ravaging, hogs. I had merely helped. But they'd treated me like a...Queen. Happy to let me take the praise just so long as they could go on living in their villages safely and peacefully.

I read on in the book, flipping pages until I came to one that had drawn pictures of the four of us.

Peter's picture looked older than he actually was, understandably. He had a full beard and the look of a great man and King in his eyes.

Ed's picture was older too. His dark hair even darker and he had a mischievous look about his smile.

Susan's picture was perhaps the most remarkable. _The artist must have been in love with her._ Crossed my mind. Her beauty came to life on the page; her ringlets looked to sway on the page about her porcelain shoulders. A dainty, angelic smile on perfectly red lips.

A perfect picture it seemed, if only the last time I'd seen that face it hadn't been twisted in anger, her lips curled with hatred, but it had, so I couldn't believe the sincerity behind that smile entirely.

I went on to my picture. It was pretty, prettier than I remembered myself being. I had been sixteen in that picture, I realized, the same age I was now. It was a curious thing. I yawned again and rested my head back against the couch.

My eyes closed and I could imagine I was back at Cair Paravel with my brothers and sister. Ruling together in peaceful times. The only thing that wasn't perfect? That was missing?

The dark eyed King who could make my heart leap without even trying. I smiled, halfway into a dream as my head drifted to the side and slid until it hit Caspian's shoulder, resting there.

I was faintly aware of a gentle hand brushing hair away from my cheek, tucking it behind my ear. Lifting me from the couch like I weighed nothing at all and carrying me up to my bed.

I was so sleepy; I turned my face into his chest comfortably. As he laid me in my bed, he hesitated for the briefest of moments. His lips touched my cheek and neck. "Goodnight sweet Lucy." He whispered into my ear.

As I heard the door close behind him I could not help but wonder if I had imagined it. I felt the spot his lips had brushed. My skin tingled with fire.

I hadn't.

R*E*V*I*E*W~P*L*E*A*S*E

OMG I just saw the word count on this chap and it's like over 10,000 words! 10,000! :D


	13. Thomas, A Dream, and Kisses Goodnight

**So I finally got another chap wrote! It is waaay longer than it was supposed to be but somehow I didn't think y'all would mind. ;) **

**I'm not sure if it turned out all that great but I hope it did...The ending w/ Caspian...I did it to the song Open Up Your Eyes by Daughtry. It inspired that scene in the first place so I figured I'd tell everyone.**

**Oh, and btw I made Caspian's horse, Destrier, a talking horse. **

_**Chapter 13-Thomas, A Dream, and Kisses Goodnight**_

Two days. That's how long it took to not only find Thomas' room but to slip away from my three new companions.

_Guards. _I had been right to assume Caspian suspected something. The morning after the night I thought he was going to kiss me he'd had three guards appointed to my side. With orders that they would watch me at all times (to them) and (to me) he said that it was just a foresight for safety.

There had been absolutely no chance to argue with him after that because, like he'd planned it out, he had been called away for a few days to a council meeting in a neighboring town over an issue regarding land rights. Now _I_ couldn't quite make myself believe that was true and I very well might have followed him to the neighboring town had I not three guards watching every step I took.

My three unwanted companions had all sat at the courtroom table four nights previous and this did nothing to make things easier for me, if anything it made them harder.

All three of them were large, exceedingly silent, and extraordinarily watchful.

The first time I tried to sneak away I'd made it just outside to the gardens. The second, (as I was trying to be subtle) I went out one of the library's windows and was halfway to the room I knew was Thomas'. Both times my guards showed up with agitated scowls of disapproval and I would smile with the innocence of a child and say.

"Oh! There you are! I stepped out for a bit of fresh air." They did nothing more than cast another look my way and mumble something about King Caspian's orders and a silly girl.

Silly girl indeed.

And being the silly girl I am, my third attempt of slipping away from my guards was fixing to take place. I'd gotten up earlier than usual, just before daybreak so it was still dark out. Even so, my guards were waiting outside my door as they had been the past two mornings.

When we were seated at the table downstairs for breakfast I asked my usual morning question. "Has Caspian returned today?"

The tallest of the men, Leon, was his name, spoke. "Not as yet, My Lady." He said politely. He seemed the quietest of my newfound companions.

I did not force a smile as would be polite but simply nodded and glanced out the window in contemplation. My plan would begin very soon and without Caspian here it would go a lot more smoothly without him. _Perfect. _I _would _get in Thomas' room this day.

Thomas' room had been found a lot more effortlessly than I would have guessed. I'd followed a maid. My guards were with me at the time so, of course I had to divert their attention from my task as well as keep from attracting the attention of the maid.

All in all it went quite easily and now I all I had to do was slip successfully away from my guards and get to the room that sat only about a dozen doors down from Thomas'.

My plan, you see, was really very simple. Once I got to the room down the hall from Thomas', I would go out the window. And even with the room being on the second floor, if I got to the room and out that window, the castle's roof curved just so outside that window and if I was careful I could get across that roof and to Thomas' room. Or at least the small window he had outside his room.

It was hard to tell what size the window might be from the ground looking up, but I had spent the last two days, guards in tow, subtly searching for a way in without being detected, so there was no reason whatsoever to not try it.

If I couldn't get in his room, I would speak with him through the window, albeit briefly.

Nothing could go wrong.

Right?

So with all this planned out, lastly I had to create a diversion so I could get up to that room and out the window. With the early morning darkness still clinging to the castle I would be able to get across the roof with less a chance of someone from the ground seeing me.

This was my idea. And my surprise would happen at any moment.

I sat erect in my chair sipping on a cup of hot tea. And as my _diversion _came to mind I could not help but smile. The reaction I knew it would cause was enough for me to have to clutch my napkin to my lips to cover a giggle. I made myself cough to hide it.

I needn't have worried. The guards paid me no mind.

I bit my lip hard to shove back the laughter. _I used to be better at keeping a straight face with these kinds of schemes. _I thought. _But then I was usually accompanied by Ed, Eustace or even Peter on occasion._

I sipped my tea again to settle the adrenaline that made my legs quake with excitement under the table. After two days of being guarded I couldn't wait to get away. _Freedom. _

Caspian's friend, the little boy Edwin had been following me around the castle when he hadn't been running odd errands in town. He was a sweet boy and if it wasn't for him there would be no use in my plan. He was my way out.

I had explained to the boy the previous night, when he came to bid me goodnight that I wished to play a game. I needed him to open up the chicken's cages just outside the kitchen door. He had agreed with a mischievous grin on his plump lips.

I'd asked him to do it before daybreak, so his cooperation was all I needed to get started. My bare foot tapped a nervous rhythm out on the wooden floor and I took a breath to calm my nerves. Sipped my tea. Looked out the window a dozen times, at least.

I could see the telltale purple grayish hues coloring the sky in the distance as if it had just been touched by an artist brush. The sun was coming up. _Where is the boy?_

I took a bite of the toast that I had requested for my breakfast. I finished my cup of tea. Looking out the window again I could see pink had made its way into the array of color, and gold was just starting to peek through. The sun would be up within half an hour.

It seemed I waited an eternity but after only moments a scream broke the silence that had fallen over the room I sat in.

As shrieks filled the air the guards shot up out of their seats and I followed as well, despite one of them calling back. "Stay where you are, Majesty."

As the four of us crossed into the kitchen we were met with...chickens. Chickens squawked and flew up in our faces, feathers floated through the air making it impossible to see and the shrieking of a dozen voices was doing nothing to calm the frantic birds. It did not help that it also seemed that everyone had showed up to help recapture the birds.

I grinned; it was exactly what I needed. I slid out the kitchen door and broke into a run. "Queen Lucy!" A young voice made me skid to an abrupt halt.

_Edwin. _I gave him an impatiently nervous smile. "Thank you Edwin, but I really have to-"

"Are you going to meet Caspian?" The little boy cut me off.

I stared confusedly at him. "What do you mean?"

"Oh," The boy pointed away from us out towards the gates and to the road. "I spotted him in the distance just a moment ago, no more than a couple hours ride, I guess."

Edwin must have taken the look of annoyance/excitement on my face at not getting to see Caspian sooner, for he said consolingly. "He'll be here soon enough, sooner than you think." He placed a grubby hand on the pink sleeve of my gown.

I concealed rolling my eyes at him and dropped to my knees in front of the boy, taking his small, grubby hand in mine. "Ed, will you do something else for me?" Time was wasting and I couldn't help a glance to the gates, even when I could not see out of them. I didn't wait for his response. "If Caspian returns whilst I'm gone I need you to keep him from knowing I'm gone." I gave the small boy a gentle shake. "Would you do that for me, please?"

Edwin tilted his head in a curious way. "Where are you going?"

I shot a wary glance over my shoulder. "To see a friend. Now can I trust you?""

Edwin stepped away from me and shook his curly head. "I'll do it."

I reached and caught him in a quick hug. "Thank you!" And I was off. I made it around the corner of the castle and slipped through the window to Caspian's study that I had unlatched last night. As my bare feet touched the carpet I didn't even bother to stop and close the window, just ran.

I didn't ease up until I was jerking open the spare bedroom door where I would go out the window and cross the roof. I bounded in and shoved it closed behind me and bent double to catch my breath. After a moment and holding my hand to my ribcage in hopes to hold my heart in its rightful place, I straightened and stepped to open the window.

_So far this is working. _I leant forward to make sure it was safe to get out without being seen from below. I saw men in the distance but felt sure that I would be shielded from their view by the still lingering darkness.

I wrenched my skirts up and tied them into a knot just above my knees. It wouldn't do to get out and be hindered by a dress. I swung my leg over the windows sill, suddenly having a feeling that I'd done this before.

In fact I _had_ done it before. But I'd been in Peter's room back in England at my aunt and uncle's, when I couldn't be seen for a reason that was still unclear to me.

I crouched, perched just outside the window on a ridge that jutted out a few feet into open air. I pulled myself closer to the edge so I could survey the tilting stone that served as a roof that I would be walking, or crawling, across.

The distance between the ridge I knelt on and the stone roofing below was farther than I had realized from the ground when I'd been planning this escapade. My stomach twisted at the height, from here if I raised my eyes I would be looking out over the great city of Calormen, but I did not care to do so at that very moment as I might take one look and turn around, Thomas or no.

I tried to moisten my dry lips. _I am not afraid of heights. _And I wasn't but who wouldn't be nervous climbing around this high up? _"Please don't let me fall."_ I uttered a prayer and wrapped both hands on the edge of the ridge so I could lower myself. I slid my legs off, my palms felt damp with perspiration and I readjusted my hold before I let my body drop off the edge, letting it dangle in air.

I glanced over my shoulder to see how far I would have to fall to be on the stone roof. It was only a few feet but I knew if I slipped or missed for some reason, I would be sliding down the sloping roof and to the edge.

I tried my best to push that realization away, because I was _not _going to fall. My fingers protested holding my own weight for so long and I made myself release the hold I had on the ridge.

For a long moment I was falling in midair and I tensed my body for the impact of the fall. As soon as I touched the stone I latched on to any hold I could find; wincing as my bare knees took the brunt of my fall. No time for thinking, I immediately started crawling along the sloping stone to Thomas' window.

Doubts crept into my mind as I went, threatening to make me turn back. _Is seeing Thomas worth this? Could Caspian somehow be right? That I shouldn't trust him? _I swallowed back the questions, pushing them away for a time when my feet were on steady ground again.

I was here. Right below Thomas' window and I was not about to turn back around, I had been in worse situations. I twisted so one leg hung down the sloping edge of the stone and the other curled underneath me, securing myself so I could free my hands to look about.

Thomas' window was high. I had misjudged this distance as well as the other one. Even if I stood I did not believe I would quite be able to reach it. _What if I jumped? _That thought, in no way, appealed to me, but I slowly stood on the stone. Raising my arms above me, my fingertips just grazed the ledge in front of Thomas' window.

I wavered as my eyes wandered away from the ledge and made the mistake of looking down. _So far down. _I squinted my eyes shut, feeling my way back into a sitting position. After an extended moment I got up enough courage to open my eyes again and looked to the window's ledge. _'Oh, Aslan how am I going to get up there?' _I searched the bottom side of the ledge, hoping a ladder would suddenly appear from nowhere, offering an easy way up and out. Or in, since I would be going in the window.

My gaze suddenly landed on something. The wall. The wall had cracks running through it. I peered downward, as far as I could see cracks arced through the old stone making me think that this side of the castle had not been repaired in a long while. The cracks spread in the stone like a spider's intricate web, covering the stone.

I eased up on my knees and made to touch the stone to my left. If I was careful, perhaps I could climb by using the small crevices the cracks had turned into overtime, as handholds. I ran my nervous fingers over the crumbling stone in thought, looking to the sun coming up in the sky over me, a vibrant gold that chased the last of darkness away with its fiery rays.

Caspian was probably almost there, if he wasn't already. Grimacing at the wall I hauled myself up and secured a firm hold. I wouldn't even have to climb that far, just a few feet up, enough to grab hold of the ledge outside his window. I raised my bare foot to a crevice, raising my body up.

If I fell...that didn't even bear thinking about.

As I left the steady footing of the roof I felt myself waver again and had an urge to look down. I gasped in a quick breath and kept climbing slowly. As I became level with the ledge, my arms trembled in protest of holding me so long. I forced my right hand to release its death hold on the crumbling stone and grasp for the edge of the ledge.

My teeth clutched my bottom lip as my shoulder ached in warning from holding me up, though it hadn't been all that long. I swayed in midair, felt my grip lessen and loosen its hold on stone. _This was a lot easier in my head. _I thought sourly just as I lost my hold...

"Uuuuhhh!" I sucked in a gasp as I started to fall backwards. Something latched onto my wrist painfully as I tried to regain my hold, it jerked me harshly upwards. My ribs ached as I was dragged onto the window's ledge painfully. But I was safe, so I wasn't complaining.

My eyes darted up to the person who'd saved me.

"Thomas."

"Lucy."

We both spoke at the same time and with the same almost disbelieving tone.

As I was still half hanging off the ledge and he still had a hold of my arms, just below my shoulders, I gripped onto his arm and pulled myself into the room. Thomas kept hold and helped me in. I fell headfirst into the room as I lost my balance and fell straight into Thomas and his strong chest.

He steadied me and I raised my eyes to thank him. I froze as our faces were a breath apart. My eyes widened in surprise, not so much at out proximity, (Ok, maybe partly because of our proximity.) but at the expression in Thomas' eyes. I almost dared not think it. _Tender, the look was almost tender._

Our faces so close and his seemed to be coming closer, I couldn't move as he still had a hold on my arms, not that that would have stopped me. I just was frozen in shock. _I think._ As if realizing the wrongness of that moment altogether Thomas stopped and whispered. "I didn't expect you to be visiting anytime soon, My Lady."

My face felt tight with heat, but I stepped away from him to a comfortable distance. Which would have been out of the room if that were a possibility at that moment, but it wasn't. So I settled for a few feet.

I searched my mind for a reply. "I- I was- I did not-" I stuttered, my questions temporarily lost to lips.

Thomas gave me a weary smile. "You wanted to see me." He tilted his head to the window. "Apparently, badly."

My tongue finally started forming words. "I wanted to ask you a few questions." Before he could respond I hurriedly added. "And I refuse to leave until you answer me at least one of them." That was rather a bold statement, as truly, if he did not wish to answer me, there was nothing I could do about it. But I could make it seem that was not the case, and I _could _get the answers I sought out of him.

Thomas looked around wryly. "Should I even ask you to sit?" He started to pull out a wooden chair but I stopped him.

"No," I shook my head quickly. "No, thank you."

"Alright." Thomas grabbed the chair and shoved the back of it under the bedroom door's knob. "That will give you a few seconds at least to hide." He said dryly. "Now what is it you ask of me?"

I touched the ring I had hidden in a fold of my dress, pulling it out; I held it out to him on an open palm. "I wish for you to tell me how you came to have this."

Thomas looked visibly startled by my first question. "I'm not sure what you mean." He made as if to take the ring from my hand and examine it, I closed my fingers over it before he could.

"I don't believe you." I felt only a little unease at being in a room with him, for some reason I felt sure he was not the enemy I needed to worry about here.

Thomas dropped his hand from where he'd reached for the ring. "And why are you so disbelieving of me, your Majesty?" He looked honestly confused.

I touched the ring gently. "Where did you get this ring?" I asked again.

Thomas raised his hands up in defense. "I've had it for a long while now."

"How long?" I prodded him hard.

Thomas looked away from me, out the window. "Caspian has returned by now." He said dismissively, ignoring my questions.

I sat down with crossed arms on the window seat. "I am not leaving until you tell me why you are part of this..." I gestured at the ring vaguely. "This group and you all wear these rings!" I exclaimed with finality. "

Thomas openly stared at me. "You know about their," He stopped. "Secret?"

_**Their?**__ Aslan forgive me. _I nodded my head. "Yes, but I do not understand why you wear these rings."

Thomas turned away from me. "Perhaps you know by now that I was exiled?" He started slowly.

"Of course, but I do not know why." I answered truthfully.

Thomas sat down beside me. "You do not know the truth as you say you do Queen Lucy." It wasn't a question, simply a statement but he did not look angry. "I am willing to explain some of it to you as long as we are left alone, and that requires this room staying silent." He raised an eyebrow. "Do I have your word to stay silent?"

I gave him a dark look. "Get on with it."

He laughed lightly. "Well, once there were two boys, they were the best of friends, had been for years."

I interrupted here. "You mean Caspian?"

Thomas gave me a dour expression. "Caspian and I were friends, when it became certain that someone would try and kill him for his birthright, Caspian's friends, including me, formed an alliance of a sort."

I bit my lip to keep another question in and listened intently.

Thomas continued. "We considered ourselves brothers, these rings," He touched my closed fist but did not try to force my hand open. "These were a symbol of our..." He trailed off like he didn't expect me to understand what he meant. But I did. _Brotherhood. _They were like brothers even though the same blood did not run through each of their veins. Thomas started again. "We swore to protect not only Caspian but each other." He gave a cynical sounding laugh. "You see, Queen Lucy, we were boys when this...group of ours was formed but as we grew older, it became larger. More dangerous, more secretive. We became more serious about what we believed."

I leaned toward him, willing him to keep on. This was what I needed.

He wasn't looking at me anymore when he said. "But one day, two boys who were the best of friends became men and one was accused and found guilty of something he had not committed and his lifelong friend did nothing to stop his exile, for he believed the accusations to be true." Thomas stopped, not hesitantly but as if he was reveling in a dark memory. "He could not bring himself to trust his oldest friend. And so the story ended as it began." He finished cryptically.

Silence fell as he quit talking and I sat stunned, but only for a second. "The story says you betrayed Caspian," I winced at how unsympathetic that sounded. "What were you accused of?"

Thomas gave a deep sigh. "You should go My Lady. Caspian is waiting." He looked past me out the window and down over the world below us. I could see horses and a group of men gathered at the gate, they were entering. Caspian would be among them.

My heart skipped a beat despite everything. Just thinking of his return made the last day before he left float back to me and I could feel fire burning on my skin where his lips had touched. My cheeks burned and I shoved the memory away and back to the present moment.

"This group," I clenched my fist around the ring in question. "It is still active, isn't it?"

Thomas shrugged. "Perhaps, but what would I know of it?"

_A lot more than you're telling me. _But I did not say this. "Will you not tell me what the reason was, Thomas?" I wrinkled my nose as I gazed out the window; the thought of climbing down again was not appealing.

"You're pretty when you do that." Thomas said quietly. And my eyes widened for a second time.

"What?" I squeaked in surprise.

Thomas nonchalantly raised a shoulder in answer. "When you wrinkle your nose like that, you look pretty." He said it as if that were all there was to it, and maybe it was. I wasn't so sure though.

I could not meet his eyes, I felt embarrassed. "Why did they accuse you of betrayal?" It was the only thing I could say; I did not wish or know how to pursue his compliment of my being pretty and his noticing such a small feature such as me crinkling my nose. It was all very odd.

Our heads jerked in the direction of the door when the doorknob rattled, revealing someone was trying to get in. Thomas clutched my arm. "You must leave." He hissed quietly.

I pulled my legs up on the window seat and flipped onto my stomach, slipping through, crouching on the ledge as Thomas flung the window shut and the curtains in front of them.

I heard rapid footsteps and loud voices. They lasted only moments before I heard the door slam. I waited for a few minutes before I wrapped on the window's glass lightly.

As the curtains were tossed aside again and Thomas' head appeared he looked both relieved and irritated to see me. "Why aren't you down there explaining your disappearance to them?" He snapped. "Their looking for you! You must go now before they raise a more thorough search!"

I held up a hand to stop his torrent of words. "I will leave if you tell me why you were accused of betraying Caspian!" I said, trying to keep my voice low.

Thomas threw me a frustrated glare. "Why is this so important to you Lucy?"

I overlooked his use of my real name with ease. "I need to know, it may help me figure out some _things." _I explained as little as I could.

Thomas looked exasperated but suddenly wary at the same time. "What do you mean? He grasped my arm to pull me closer. "Is something going on that you know about? Here in Narnia?"

He sounded nearly desperate.

I pulled away from his hold. "I don't know! There is some danger here in Narnia but I am refused every time I wish to know what it is. I am told that it is too dangerous for me to know. That there are _reasons _why I'm not told." I said bitterly, not even sure why I told him.

Thomas released me. "You know nothing?" He gazed at me skeptically. "I find that hard to believe."

Shouts filled the air down the hall and we both jumped.

I slipped my legs over the ledge and prepared for my climb, but first I had to get the truth out of him. "Tell me." I ordered quickly. "I will not leave until you do."

"And you will tell me what you know of this danger in Narnia?" Thomas bargained. I gave a quick shake of my head in agreement. "The night Caspian was to be assassinated, I found out what was going to happen and I went for help, but I was tricked." Thomas jaw clenched in remembrance of a long ago night. "I was foolish not to see the trick, but I did not and Caspian was nearly killed because of it." The man before me sounded like he had blamed himself a thousand times over for that night. For that reason I believed his next words.

"I did _not_ betray him. Caspian ran. But our _brothers," _He spoke caustically. "Found me and well...you can figure the rest out for yourself."

I spoke softly. "But how was that your fault?"

Thomas glared unseeingly past me. "Because I never showed up for the meeting we were to have that night. I was never present, I was at a tavern out of town when I overheard a bunch of men by mistake and I came back as fast as I could, but it was no use.

"You said you were tricked," I started in confusion.

Thomas spoke over me. "It was night when I ran into a man, he was cloaked but he wore the ring of our brothers so I trusted him without thought and told him everything I'd heard. It was not until later when I returned to them that I was accused of helping the men who tried to kill Caspian, no," He stared grimly. "I was accused of doing it myself, of setting up the assassination. I was tricked."

I shook my head in doubt. "Wouldn't that mean that someone _in _the group betrayed you? That he could still be part of the group?" The sound of it scared me.

Thomas looked into my eyes for the first time. "Or perhaps he got the ring from someone from our group? Or maybe he stole it?" Thomas gave a hard laugh. "Maybe, Perhaps. You don't know how many times I've went over that night in my head, if I knew who it was don't you think I would have tried to get out of exile from a world that is constantly at war?" Thomas was both angry and saddened at the memories I'd forced him to remember and I felt partly sorry for him.

I opened my hand and let the ring glint in the morning light as more shouts filled the air threateningly. "We could find out." It was a suggestion and a dare all in one and Thomas heard both.

"It is done Queen Lucy. I made peace with it long ago."

He did not look like a man who'd made peace with his self. Far from it in fact, but I did not say so as footsteps could be heard pounding down the hall, coming our way. "Thank you for telling me the truth." I grasped his hand and laid his ring there. "This rightfully belongs to you." And then I dropped from the window's ledge and started down.

Thomas called after me. "What about telling me what _you _know?"

I gave him an innocent smile. "Sorry, I really have to get down there and calm everyone."

Thomas gave a laugh that sounded out of place after so serious a conversation. "Be careful Queen Lucy."

I flashed a half smile up at him as I brought my foot down on the solid stone. "Always am." I then directed my gaze down because it would not do if I slipped and fell now. Feeling only a little more comfortable than the first time I gingerly walked across, I walked slowly. I wasn't even part of the way back when I heard a crunching noise behind me. Despite my resolve to stand steadily on the tilting stone I swiveled around at the sound and stumbled.

I caught my breath as I my feet slid from underneath me, I banged painfully into the stone as I clutched for a hold. I grasped the stone of the roof and stopped myself before I slid down the sloping edge and off the roof. My fear of falling left me just as quickly as I felt it.

I had something else to worry about.

A laugh reached my ears. A lilting sound that sent a chill up my back. I shivered, despite the warm air of a spring morning. I gained my footing and only just managed to stand as I turned my eyes on the person who'd laughed. I took an involuntary step back when I did.

The figure was cloaked from head to toe in dark clothing, I didn't have time to feel shocked because the figure stepped up in front of me, balancing with ease on the stone I had wavered on only moments before.

I found my voice. "Who are you?" My voice did not tremble and I was proud of that.

Another bone chilling laugh and the person spoke. "I am looking for you, of course." A low feminine voice spoke from under her cloaked face. "I'm told I should give you another warning," The individual stepped closer and I knew what her intention was before she did it.

She was driving me towards the edge. I moved back to the window where I'd come from, I had to get off this rooftop. _Now! _Went my frantic thoughts. Before I could move, a small, elegantly shaped hand shot out and pushed me. I had halfway expected the blow so I did not fall as I might have, but shoved back and unsteadied her as well.

We both struggled on the stone roof, pulling and shoving at the other, her foot shot out and I was a second too late as it caught my ankle and I went flying down the stone's tilting edge.

But I wasn't alone. I grabbed a fistful of her cloak and she fell with me, we hit the roof with a muttered curse (her) and an "Oof!" (me) . As we came to a stop midways down the person's fist shot out and caught me across the cheek and she ripped the cloak from my hand.

Needless to say, I was no longer as scared as I was angry. I dove, slid for her. She was surprised by the attack, I believe, as she did not respond at first. But when she did it was not good. Her clenched fist tried to catch me across the face again and I ducked my head, narrowly missing the blow.

"What do you want with me?" I ground out as we struggled, falling further towards the edge. The edge was the least of my problems at that moment.

I brought my hand up with speed I did not know I possessed and tried to jerk her hood away. She slapped at my hand, pushing me away with force and at last the stone beneath me gave way to nothing.

I clutched for something, anything, and only came up with her ankle as I hung from the edge for a second before I couldn't hold on any longer and I went flying through the air..._but she's coming with me. _I thought savagely and tightened my grip.

I was falling...I closed my eyes and felt a scream rising in the back of my throat but it was lodged in place. _Aslan. _I pleaded, but it was all I could come up with a second before I hit the ground...

Or I thought it was the ground. My fall was cut short as I hit something hard but soft at the same time. And it wasn't the ground. I was stunned for a brief moment but I twisted and saw my attacker on the ground. _Is she alive? _I cringed inwardly; I had not wished to kill her.

But what had stopped my fall? I became aware that I was floating in the air. _What? _I was on a winged horse! The horse flew up and I caught a glimpse of my attacker standing and turning her head to the sky, looking at me. Then she turned as if nothing had ever happened and walked away.

The horse beneath me spoke. "Lucy! What were you thinking? You could have been injured! Or worse!" The voice that came from the winged creature sounded very familiar.

"Dannsair?" I questioned slowly, still feeling shocked from my fall. Since when did Dannsair have wings?

The golden horse spoke from underneath me. "Yes, yes, of course! Who else would I be? As I was saying, how dare you do such as that? Why were you climbing about up on top of the castle?" She snorted and tossed her head, flinging her silken mane into my eyes. "My, and everyone is looking for you! Foolish child!"

"Dannsair!" I snapped, my attacker was getting away and all she could do was rant about how I shouldn't have been climbing about the castle! But I knew it was too late, she would have been long gone by now. "Dannsair, please be quiet for a moment!"

The horse's body tensed under me in annoyance. "Well I never! Can't I express a little concern?"

I rolled my eyes at her dramatic tone. "Could you set me down?" When she tilted as if to turn and head back to the castle, I added. "Away from everyone, to the stables, perhaps?" I wanted somewhere quiet to think for a moment before I was to return to my guards. And to Caspian. I would not be able to think clearly with him around.

Dannsair's head twisted so she could look at me. Whatever she saw made her do as I asked. She soared through the air for only seconds before landing and trotting into the back of the open barn. She walked into a large stall, which I presumably thought was hers.

Then like a mother cares for a child she gently nudged me off her back. "Come now, Lucy, what's wrong?" She asked and for the first time since I'd met her she actually sounded worried.

I took a deep breath and nearly said 'nothing', but I could not make myself speak the lie. "I had to see Thomas." I murmured and rested against a hay bale. My voice did not tremble but my legs were shaking.

Dannsair shuffled around, disconcertedly. "The man everyone is talking about? From the gates?"

I nodded.

She took a mouthful of hay calmly. "And that is why you were climbing about on top of the castle?" She chewed the hay viciously. "For the life of me I do not, and will never, understand you humans!"

I sighed, suddenly feeling unbelievably weary. I had so many questions and so little answers. "Dannsair," I started but truly had no idea what I wanted to ask her.

"What is it child?" She asked prodding me with her nose. "Are you okay? That fall was hard."

I did not answer her. "Can I trust you?" I asked instead. I wanted to talk to someone, I did not want to keep everything to myself and if she would help me I had an idea as to something she could do for me.

The golden, winged horse seemed to study me with a wary look and said. "Yes."

I turned my eyes on her. "No, I mean can I trust you to not say anything to anyone if I were to tell you a secret?" I asked firmly, I pressed my lips together and watched her.

She met my blue, human eyes with her large, brown, horse one's, silently watching me. "No one?"

I said nothing and she got my message. She was silent, thinking about her answer before saying. "You can, I promise I will not say anything as long as Queen Lucy says I may not. If you wish secrecy then I will say nothing."

This statement was so unexpected that I just stared at the horse. Something in her large eyes made me believe that she was telling the truth and I opened my mouth and let my questions and doubts come out. Leaving out, only my feelings for Caspian, my confusion about the tender look Thomas had given me and his compliment and finding the letter from Lilliandril in Caspian's box.

I told her about Thomas, Peter, the secrets that surrounded the danger in Narnia, my daggers and Susan's dresses that had been stolen, the threats that Caspian had received. I also left out the one threat that I had received. I did not wish to push my luck and see if Dannsair would keep everything a secret. Though I was certain she would.

The horse was quiet throughout everything I said. When I finished I felt better, like I knew I wasn't in this alone anymore. That I had at least one ally.

"Did you slip and fall from the roof?" Dannsair asked slowly, quizzically.

I felt confused but then it hit me that maybe Dannsair had only seen the one of us fall. That the blackness of the woman's clothing had kept her hidden against the dark stone. I wasn't sure, but it was the only reasonable explanation I had.

"Something like that." I gingerly rubbed a spot on my back that I knew would be bruised purple by tonight.

The horse walked until she stood over me. "I will do as I promised and keep your secret but you must give me your word that you will not be doing anything of that sort again." There was no hesitation in her voice, she was dead serious.

I was happy to agree with her words, I would not be going back up there again if I could help it. If I had to speak with Thomas, I would simply have to break him out of his room or something.

Dannsair spoke again, lowering her voice so no one would be able to overhear her. "And what would you have me do now?"

I blinked. _That was simple enough. _"I want you to do me a favor," I moistened my dry lips. "I want you to spy for me."

The pale horse nodded. "Spy?"

"I want you to listen; surely news spreads through the stables as quickly as it does in the castle? I want you to just listen, maybe talk to the other horses and see what they've heard from their riders." I gave her a hopeful glance.

Dannsair sighed largely. "Perhaps I could..." She trailed off and she looked like she was thinking of something, her head turned and I could've sworn I saw an embarrassed expression in her eyes.

I stood up and my legs did not tremble beneath me, I stepped closer to the horse and nudged her with my arm. "What is it, Dannsair?"

She huffed something under her breath and I leant closer. "I can't understand you, what did you-"

"Shhh!" She hissed all of a sudden. "He's looking this way!" The horse sounded panicked and I felt my heart jump in my chest as I assumed it was someone dangerous.

I raised my head and saw that the only thing that was looking at us was a black horse that hadn't been in the stall across from us when I'd arrived. I tilted my head and pursed my lips with curiosity. The horse looked like...

"Destrier" I said the name aloud when it came to me. I started to shove open the stall door and cross to his stall. Caspian's horse. A magnificent creature, indeed. And unbelievable fast too, I'd ridden him only once before, riding for help when we'd first met Caspian.

The horse's ears pricked at his name just when Dannsair bit the back of my dress and pulled me back roughly. "Be quiet, he might hear you!" She whispered at me, reprimanding me.

I felt a laugh building in my chest and I smirked at the horse and peered out of the stall to Destrier's stall. "You fancy Destrier" I giggled and it felt good to laugh after what had happened earlier. "Let's go speak with him." I pushed past the protesting horse and out of the stall to the black horses.

"Destrier" I called over the stall's door. "May we come in?" I fought against the smirk that wanted to win across my face.

Dannsair scowled at me ferociously. "Destrier does not wish to be bothered, we should leave." She hissed at me.

The black horse had never been one for words but his large, muscular body shifted at Dannsair's voice. "Come in." He offered simply.

I pulled open the door and gestured Dannsair in, she went, but not without another glare at me. I gave her a good-natured wink. "I think I'll just wait out-"

I was cut off abruptly by a shout. "Lucy!" Caspian's voice sliced through the fairly quiet stable.

I felt my stomach flip with butterflies as he came to a stop in front of me and wrapped both hands around my own tightly. "Where have you been? Do you know what-" He stopped himself seeing the prying eyes of stable boys and the horses themselves. His jaw tightened.

_This can't be good. _I thought a little sourly.

He kept my hand firmly in his and said quietly. "Come with me." He ordered.

It was his tone that made me walk back with him. I felt anger in the way he walked, and carried his self. The unshaven line of his jaw was tense with irritation. I shot a look back at the two horses. "Dannsair? Remember what I asked." The only indication that she heard me was a quick flick of her golden head.

One look at the sun when we came out of the barn made me realize that it was well past daybreak. I had been gone longer than I had ever intended to be. But that hadn't been entirely my fault. The laughter of the woman echoed in my ears making me shiver a little.

When we entered the castle, we were swarmed on. The entire place was in an uproar. _They were looking for me. _I realized in surprise and with no small amount of guilt at having caused this chaos.

My ears were filled with dozens of, 'Are you alright Queen Lucy? We've been looking all over for you! Where were you, My Lady?" and the like.

After everyone had been assured at least twice that I was fine and had been for quite a while now. Caspian, and James who had appeared from nowhere as he always did, were both watching me with irritated eyes.

I did not acknowledge their stares and said rather loftily. "I'll be going to my room now."

Caspian did not move. "I'd like to speak with you Lucy."

I bit the inside of my lip. "I'll see you at dinner then?" I crossed my fingers behind my back like I actually thought that would help me to get out of it.

"Now." Caspian said, making me scowl slightly when he turned his back to me and headed down the hall to the study that I'd been in my first night here. _When we'd almost kissed. Or at least I think that's what it was. _Went my traitorous thoughts.

Both men waited for me and I had no choice but to move and follow them, however I did not do it happily. Caspian opened the door for me and he and James waited until I went through first.

_At least chivalry isn't dead. _I thought wryly. _Except why do I feel like a sheep being led by a pair of wolves? _

I sat down in a soft chair near the fireplace. "What is it Caspian?" I asked plainly. Might as well get it over with.

Caspian paced across the room, running a hand through his dark locks and making me nervous. "Where have you been? Why did you run off like that when I told you to stay with your guards?" He gave up pacing and stood over me instead. "Why can't you do as you're told?"

That sounded strangely like something Peter had asked Edmund once. I rose from the chair and walked a step nearer to him. "You saw where I was at. There was some confusion in the kitchens and I-"

"You snuck out." Caspian guessed.

I ignored him. "I stepped out for a bit." I explained calmly but inside I still felt shook up over the entire ordeal on the roof.

James who had stood quietly up until now, spoke. "Maybe you could explain a bit more thoroughly as to where you stepped out for a bit?" His cold blue eyes were searching me for an answer that I refused to give him.

I glared at them both. "I don't see why I should have to explain anything, I am alright. I stepped out for a moment and now I'm back. Did you just expect me to sit around like the perfect princess of a si-" I directed the last part of my ire at Caspian and had to cut myself short but I finished the sentence silently. _Like the perfect princess of a sister of mine. Susan. _I gritted my teeth. I would have said 'nothing happened', but I couldn't bring myself to lie to his face.

James was looking at me with irritation and Caspian looked downright angry. The both made to speak at the same time but James spoke over Caspian quickly. "We did not wish for you to sit around, we expected you to follow orders to keep your own foolish life safe, but you seem so intent on disobeying every order thrown your way. Why is that?" James barked and I took him in with a glare.

"Why don't you tell me?" I spat back.

Caspian cut in. "James, leave. Now." He dismissed him with a wave of his hand. Ignoring James' weak argument. He let the door close behind James before saying. "Tell me where you went." His tone was sharp with disapproval.

"I-" He waved me off with his hand. "I want the truth."

He pierced me with his eyes and I _wanted _to tell him the truth, but I couldn't. If he didn't trust me enough to tell me what was going on, why should I trust him? I said nothing. I couldn't think of a good enough excuse so I kept silent.

We were standing close, my face upturned to his slightly and his turned to look down into my eyes. His voice was heavy when he spoke again. "So that's how it is?" He sounded hurt.

I felt myself shiver under his gaze. "Caspian," I had no idea where I wanted that sentence to go so I trailed off.

"You talked to Thomas didn't you?" Caspian questioned.

I looked away, for I could not keep his gaze if I hoped to get out of here without telling some of what happened.

His hand grasped my shoulder. "You did, didn't you?"

I shrugged away from his touch. "Why didn't you believe Thomas when he said he did not betray you? You were _friends._" I didn't know where the question had come from but I did nothing to stop it.

Caspian dropped his hand like he'd been burned. "He was there the night I was to be killed." He said, as if it was completely obvious. "He helped them."

I shook my head. "How do you know? How do you know he wasn't trying to warn you?" I snapped angrily. "You were friends, but because he wasn't at some stupid-" I had to bite my tongue for the dozenth time that day as my mouth threatened to run away with me.

"Some stupid _what_?"

I snorted in derision. "Nothing."

"Why can't you just tell me the truth, Lucy?" He asked. "When did we become such enemies that you don't even trust me anymore?" His voice was emotionless but his brown eyes held a sorrowful expression. "Maybe you never did?"

"Why don't you trust _me_?" My words trembled a little as they came out and I fought to steady myself under his gaze.

Caspian looked shocked. "Who said I didn't?"

"You've made it pretty evident since I got here Caspian, this danger in Narnia," I halted to gain some of my composure. "Is so dangerous that I can't know about it? Caspian, I fought in _wars_ before you were even born into this world, and yet when faced with some danger when _your _King I become the fair maiden in distress. Why is that?" My words trembled more than I would have liked but I felt some pride at having spoken my mind.

Caspian listened intently to me, waiting till I was finished before saying. "So that's it? You're angry because you wish to be outside fighting like you used to be? You want everyone to tell you what you want to hear when you want it?" His face was hard, looking more and more like the stone I'd been climbing on the castle's roof.

"That's not-"

But he went on. "You know I thought you were different than that. That you didn't expect things to come to you. That you would believe someone if they told you to stay out of it for you own good." He sounded every bit the King talking to me. An arrogant, pompous, King, but a King nonetheless.

"I thought you were different too." I shot back. "You're wrong about me; all I wanted to know was the reasoning behind any of this. But I guess it doesn't matter, since you'll be gone in less than nine days anyway." I swung around to leave.

"When I leave?"

I swallowed hard, I hadn't meant to give that away, I replied back anyway. "Oh I heard it from someone."

I glanced back at him to see him shaking his head, like he was disappointed. _In me. _I grimaced but went on and headed upstairs to my bedroom. I felt very tired at that moment. _Why is it every time we enter a room together it's to argue about something? _I asked myself.

_~X~X~X~X~X~_

I lay back on the cushioned seat in front of my window. Now that I was alone I felt scared, if the person had been on the rooftop, could they get into the castle? It made me reconsider telling Caspian. _He won't be the last. _That's what the note had said in Caspian's box; I shivered and rested my head back against the cushions. _Aslan I'm sorry, will you please help me? _What if this was something like the assassination attempt with Caspian a few years ago? What if someone got hurt? What if someone had _already_ gotten hurt? It had been proven today that whoever was sending the notes would stop at nothing to hurt...well, at least me, and probably Caspian.

That made up my mind, I had to tell him at least that much. It was too much of a risk _not_ to tell him. I could just skip the parts where I'd been climbing about the roof.

With my decision made and feeling satisfied with it, I closed my eyes to rest only a moment.

~X~

My dream started with me entering Narnia. I walked around through familiar but strange forests. I was just walking, everything looked so peaceful and I was enjoying my quiet walk.

The beauty of it lasted naught long.

I came upon a stone. It was large, roundish and had something carved into it. In the dream I leaned closer to make out the writing, it took me longer than would have been normal but I read it clearly finally.

_King Caspian X and Queen Lilliandril_

_Our beloved King and Queen_

_May you always be as cheerful_ _as you were in Narnia._

I swallowed back stinging tears as I read the words. _Caspian's gone? _I screamed inside.

_How could this have happened? And he was married? _Tears flowed freely down my face.

_Aslan. Aslan. Aslan. _I said his name over and over again because I could think of anything else to say or ask. The man I loved was gone and he'd married besides.

I knelt and held my face in my hands. When I raised my head again I was in the middle of a town. A man was staring at me with wariness and curiosity. "What are you doing missus?" He asked.

I stared blankly at him. "How long has he been gone?" I whispered through tears.

"Who ma'am?" He inquired with confusion showing plainly on his features.

"His Majesty, King Caspian."

The man stared at me strangely. "Why he's been gone a good ten thousand years. Are you alright, Miss?"

I nodded at him. _Ten thousand years? How can this be? How could I have missed it? Oh, Aslan. _

"Miss?" The man asked. I looked up at him again and this time his face twisted and a second later it was a mirror of Caspian's. It mocked me.

"What happened to him?" I don't know what made me assume that Caspian's death could have been anything but normal but I asked anyway.

He never got a chance to answer as I was suddenly on a stone roof. I was running as the stone crumbled beneath my pounding feet. As fast as I went I still couldn't outrun the falling stone.

In my path there appeared a cloaked figure. I slammed to a halt. Whoever it was laughed sardonically at me as I glanced down and saw it was too late. I was falling.

The figure took on a feminine shape and called out to me as I fell. "He never loved you and he never would have. Silly girl. You were never good enough."

I choked on tears at the harsh words. _You were never good enough...You were never good enough...You were never good enough..._It echoed and echoed as I fell...

"No!" I screamed up at her. "That's not true!" I called uselessly, my sobs choking me.

And blackness threatened to envelope me completely.

~X~

"Lucy!" A voice shook me from my dream. "Wake up." A gentle voice said. I shivered as someone touched my arm and gathered me to their chest. I opened my eyes and tears fell onto my cheeks.

"Lucy." Caspian's deep voice whispered into my ear. "Open your eyes."

I swiped at my face. "I am awake." I said hoarsely.

"You were dreaming." His fingers gently stilled my own and he brushed the tears from my face for me. Tracing his fingers down my face slowly. Our earlier fight forgotten as he held me to him and I rested my head on his chest, seeking comfort from him.

I trembled from his touch but he must have taken it as my being cold because he pulled me closer. He was warm. His white shirt was open at the top and my hand rested lightly on his bare skin, he rested his head against mine. "Do you want to tell me about it?" He offered gently.

I shook my head, no. But as his lips brushed my cheek I said. "You were gone."

"Gone?" He asked, startled.

I nodded my head and hid my face in his broad chest as more tears flowed from my eyes. "I was in Narnia and you had..." I clenched my fist at the words and swallowed against a lump in my throat.

Caspian's hand reached and grasped the hand I'd clenched; gently he pried my fingers apart, twining his fingers between mine. "What?" He asked, his words soft and gentle, his deep tone relaxed and smooth. The moon shone on his face, highlighting every small detail.

I felt so many different feelings at that moment that I did not have the strength to resist him again, I told him what my dream had been about. Choking on another sob as I finished, only leaving out the realization I'd had in the dream that I'd been in love with him, and his marriage to the star, Lilliandril.

"Shhh." Caspian rested his lips against my forehead. "It was just a dream. It's not real. You're right here and I'm fine."

His arm rested loosely around me and I laid my head in the crook of his neck. Tears still tracked silently down my cheeks. "Caspian," I don't know why I said his name other than I wanted to hear his name aloud in the dark room.

"What is it?" He whispered against my skin, his lips moved from my forehead and he kissed my cheek.

My face burned from his sweet caress. "I'm-"

He interrupted me. "Don't Lucy, it's not important, _I'm_ sorry for earlier."

My lips curved a little and I felt myself relax. "I am too."

I felt his lips tug into a smile against my cheek. "You should try to go back to sleep."

I tensed at the suggestion. I did not want to have another dream like that, especially if Caspian wasn't going to show up and wake me from it.

Caspian felt me go rigid and he laid his other hand on my shoulders, touching my neck. "I'll stay with you as long as you need me too."

I didn't close my eyes but I leaned back against him, making myself more comfortable. He didn't seem to mind. After a long moment of comfortable silence I felt his chest rumble beneath my head as words came out of his mouth.

It took me a second to realize what he was doing. He was singing. The words were foreign but I didn't mind, his song lulled me. I sleepily watched him as his lips moved softly in the moonlight. The song was sweet and he leaned his head close to mine and brushed his lips along my jaw lightly.

His unshaven skin tickled my face and I froze unable to move, as if I wanted to.

I felt sleepy but I opened my eyes just as his lips reached mine and wavered over them. His dark eyes were unreadable in the darkness, the moon making them look silvery and magical.

I breathed in deeply. He smelled sweet, like cinnamon or something else I couldn't identify with him only a breath away from my lips.

His mouth finally touched mine sweetly. I felt the tender kiss against my mouth move slightly and just like that the spell was broken. He pulled away.

I bit down hard on my lip. _What just happened? _I felt...I wasn't even sure what I felt. But he didn't move; he started singing again. And it wasn't long before I felt my eyes droop closed again.

He scooped me up and sat me on my bed, pulling the covers over me. "Thank you." I mumbled, half asleep.

I opened my eyes wearily when he didn't reply. His face was over mine and his lips just brushed my mouth again. "You're welcome, Lucy."

I heard the door close behind him and couldn't help the sensation that ran through my body. _Did Caspian kiss me?_

He had.

But why?

I truly had no idea, but for tonight I would not dwell on it, I was enjoying it and I felt more relaxed than I had in months, tonight, I did not care.

**Would anyone like to review for me? Please? :D Here's a sneak peek at the next chapter...hmmm, Lucy's feeling awkward because of Caspian's kissing her and I may do one more chap of Lucy snooping around but I think I'm going to skip ahead a few days because Caspian's got this surprise for Lucy that is...I think that's enough of a spoiler, don't you? ;D and then there's that kissing scene that I have **_**got**_** to write...but that's going to be a few chaps (or more) from this one probably...lol**


	14. Sparring Fights and The Disappearance

**Here it is! Another chapter! Woo! If I've gotten anything wrong or you're confused about anything, let me know. Because the storyline is getting more...complex. :P**

**Oh and NarniaFan1? Don't drop your laptop. =D**

**Anyways, I can't think of anything else to write here...Happy Fourth of July everyone! :D**

_**Chapter 14- Sparring Fights and The Disappearance**_

The next morning was awkward to say the least. Caspian stood when I entered the dining room for breakfast. Pulling out the chair beside him, he said. "Good morning, Lu." I sat down in the chair he offered and looked about, wondering why no one else was here.

_James didn't feel like insulting me this morning? _I thought rather archly. _How refreshing. _I did not return Caspian's greeting but said in place. "Caspian I need-" I hesitated not sure how to word my next sentence. "I need to speak with you," I brushed at a wayward strand of hair that had fallen into my eyes. "About something that happened yesterday."

Caspian sat back in his seat and surveyed me with knowing eyes. He took a sip of his drink before he said quietly. "It is the past Lu, let us move forward and forget about it."

_He thinks I'm talking about our argument. _I shook my head vehemently at him. I had made up my mind that I had to tell him about the cloaked woman yesterday, just not how I'd come to find her. I couldn't help but think back to that instant when she'd hit the ground.

The stone hard, unrelenting, ground.

She'd stood and looked up at me from where I sat, dazed, on Dannsair's back. _Almost as if she was mocking me. _And then she walked away. _She walked away. _I thought with disbelief. I had seen it with my own eyes and had trouble believing it, so what would Caspian say?

"No," I murmured to Caspian. "Not that. I-" I twisted my nose up as I tried to think how to put it. "I saw someone yest-" A knock came from the closed dining room door, causing me to glare in frustration. Caspian did not even glance towards them, he was watching me closely.

"Finish what you were saying. You saw someone?" He enquired looking intrigued and suspicious at the same time.

I touched my fingers to my bruised knees lightly under the table. "Outside the castle." I hesitated again. "I saw a person...on the castle's roof." I could not read his expression now and whether or not it was disbelieving. "I- I saw her fall from the peak of the stone roof around the back side of the castle."

Caspian's face took on a look of horror. "And you did not alert anyone of this?"

"Let me finish." I ordered quietly. He waved his hand in a quick gesture that I took as 'go on'. "She fell, but then she got up and walked away. She _walked_ away." I said and it sounded even more crazy, if not more so, than I'd first thought.

I fell silent and Caspian opened his mouth to speak but another frantic knock cut him off. He stood up; looking perturbed and strode over to the door, opening it. "What is it?" He demanded of whoever was on the other side.

And then silence.

I found myself standing and walking to Caspian's side to accompany him by the door to see the cause of his silence. Or should I say _who, _was the cause of his silence? I nearly recoiled in shock at the young man who stood with four guards surrounding him.

"Thomas?" I blinked in astonishment, halfway expecting him to be gone in the next moment. "What are you doing here?"

He gave me a special smile. "It would seem that I've been given the benefit of the doubt." He quipped. "For once."

Caspian showed nothing that he acknowledged Thomas' slight and spoke. "You asked to speak with him, Lucy." He explained slowly. "I asked my men to bring him down so you could." His face revealed nothing but I had an idea that he wasn't at all thrilled about it.

But he had done it. _For me. _A warmness spread through my body and I had a, perhaps, too vivid image in my head from last night. Caspian with his arm around me, cradling me against his chest. His heart beating softly against my cheek.

_And his kiss. _If it could be called that, for a brief second I let myself imagine what a real kiss from Caspian would feel like. His mouth would press gently against mine and his arm would rest about me, holding me. His lips wouldn't just brush mine; they would capture mine in the sweet embrace. He would give me a _real_ kiss. The warmness in my body spread to my lips and my cheeks flamed.

"Lucy." A pause. "Lucy!"

I startled back to attention. What?" I hadn't heard whatever was said and all six men stood staring at me. Caspian looked amused as he said. "If you've joined us again, do you still wish to speak with Thomas?"

I cast a sideways glance in Thomas' direction. "Of course." _But what's the reasoning behind all of this? _I mused silently. _Why has Caspian changed his mind? _Pursing my lips, I decided to test exactly how lenient Caspian would be. "Let's talk out in the gardens." I paused, waiting for an objection from Caspian or one of the guards. It did not come and I felt unsure of what to do or say next.

Thomas spoke and saved me the trouble of thinking up something. "To the gardens then." And he tried to shrug away from the guards that had a tight grip on his shoulders.

Caspian gave a barely visible nod and the guards released Thomas.

_And what has prompted such an act of equity? _I asked myself with no small amount of confusion. If Caspian guessed any of my misgivings about him from the look on my face, he did not grant me a response.

Caspian gestured at me to exit the dining room before him. "Go on then."

This was definitely curious but there was no way I would question him about it now. Overnight and this morning I had concocted at least a dozen more questions to ask of Thomas and this just gave me a plausible excuse to talk with him without slipping my guards and climbing into his window. I would have given Caspian a smile of gratefulness, had I not been so uncertain about his unexpected surprise.

Pressing my lips together I stepped outside the dining room. "Let's get to it." I said over my shoulder and we started to the gardens.

The quiet that enveloped our motley group as we walked was almost, dare I say it? Peaceful. Almost but not quite. After all Caspian and Thomas were in the same hallway.

The steady, determined, _THUMP-THUMP _of the men's boots overlapped the lighter slapping noise my bare feet made on the marbled floor.

Earlier this morning, despite Elle's attempts to make me pretty I had adamantly refused to wear the dainty slippers Elle had found for me every single moment of the day. Elle had given up and agreed with surprisingly little arguing.

As we entered the sweet room Caspian had called 'charming' I found my lips curling into a smile at the image of him a few days before of Caspian's handsome features highlighted in color as the windows let in a cascade of sunshine. It accentuated every single curve of his face, making me want to touch it.

I stopped almost inadvertently and Thomas rammed into me at my abrupt halt. "What is it Lucy?" He asked and his breath just wafted across my bare neck and made my shoulders hunch up slightly in discomfort. He placed a hand on my shoulder to steady me.

"Nothing, I was...daydreaming, I suppose." I admitted quietly.

A smile crossed Thomas' lips but before he could say anything, Caspian, who'd watched the small exchange between Thomas and me, said.

"Perhaps we could continue on as planned to the gardens?" He suggested and my brow furrowed as I was sure that I must have imagined the tightening of his jaw after he said it.

Caspian crossed in front of me and opened the door for me and as I walked through he placed his strong hand on the small of my back. "It rained last night, so the steps will still be damp." A slow grin eased its way back across his face and he grasped my hand in his free one to help me down the steps, keeping his other on my back.

I felt my skin burn from his touch but shoved that away as best I could and raised my eyes to look at Caspian. "I'm sure I can handle a few steps." Regardless, Caspian insisted on helping me down the stone steps.

I shot a glance over my shoulder at Thomas to make sure he was still following. He was and he had a wide grin spread over his face. Seeing me looking at him he said.

"Caspian is right, I, for one would not want you to fall and injure yourself or ruin your lovely dress." He cocked his head to the side in a way that said he knew exactly what he wanted to say but he wanted to keep you guessing for a moment. "But even if your dress were ruined I imagine you would be just as beautiful either way."

After this proclamation I felt a burning blush rise to my cheeks and I pulled away from Caspian's hands so I could quicken my pace. _What is going on? _Both men fell silent and I had an urge to look at Caspian to see his reaction. I glanced to him quickly.

He was studying me with his dark. That just made me blush all the more. I took in a deep breath, feeling my chest rise tightly against my already too snug bodice. _Quit being ridiculous. _I ordered of myself. But I couldn't help wondering why the men were acting...acting...as if they were arguing over something. _Over me? _I dismissed that guess very quickly. _That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever thought of._

I could think of nothing to say after Thomas' words and I sensed both men were waiting for a response from me before they said anything more. After a very long and seemingly endlessly awkward moment, Caspian spoke.

"For once I agree with Thomas."

One more hurried look at him made my heart bounce faster in my chest. The words fell from his lips with sincerity but his eyes were stormy and dark. _Why? _I wondered. _Is this rivalry between them to do with the 'betrayal'? _It hardly looked so but it would have to be, for what other reason could there be?

Blinking at my confusing thoughts, I stopped in the middle of the garden's path and off into the grass, letting my feet sink into the wild, thick, green. I reveled in the feeling for a second before sitting down under the trees. I could feel the eyes of Caspian and Thomas on me but I still said nothing to acknowledge their compliments.

Thank you would have been the polite way to answer them but I couldn't quite make myself speak the two words. Shaking my head, I said to Thomas. "Sit down; I have some questions for you." Both men sat, one on either side of me and I raised a surprised brow at Caspian and he held up his hand to stop me before I even opened my mouth to protest.

"You did not think me that foolish that I would trust him enough to leave did you?" He muttered low enough so Thomas couldn't hear. I turned my body in Thomas' direction in reply and licked my lips in annoyance.

With Caspian listening we would not be able to carry on our conversation from yesterday. I searched for any of the questions I'd wanted to ask Thomas since I'd last saw him and been so easily dislodged by his and Caspian's compliments.

I started with the night of Susan and my argument. "The night Susan and I-" Grimacing at the memory but I went on anyway. "The night Susan and I had our _misunderstanding_, what happened? How did you and Peter know that any of that would happen?" I figured that this was a safe subject as I'd already told Caspian of that night anyway.

_Except, _I realized with agitation and just a little too late. _The only thing I left out was that Thomas was the one who warned me of the impending danger that night. _I sneaked a peak at Caspian's expression, wrinkling my nose as I grimaced.

It was devoid of emotion, the only indication of his feelings lying in the tension of his taught jaw.

"Thomas was there the night you and Peter were chased?" Caspian asked quizzically and I turned away from both men to stare out among the trees instead.

"Yes," I answered steadily. "Thomas _was_ there." And to Thomas. "How did you know that night?" I heard Thomas heave a great sigh from his place beside me before he answered.

"I did not know for certain." He replied secretively and I frowned at his single sentence.

"Then why warn me? Even when you were right." Caspian shifted on the ground beside me and his closeness was enough to take my breath. It reminded me of last night and of- I shoved aside that particular thought and leaned away from Caspian slightly to prod Thomas in the arm, partly to distract myself from Caspian and partly to get Thomas' attention again.

"Perhaps that's a conversation best had without an audience?" Thomas said and I had a feeling it was more of a statement than a suggestion. Suddenly his eyes got a sparkling look of mischief in them and I felt a warning in my chest as he added. "And under more favorable circumstances than the last time we spoke." He could have easily been talking about that dark, stormy night in England. But he wasn't, I knew he wasn't. From the way his eyes took on a humorous look and he raised a brow as he realized that I understood his meaning, his grin widened.

_Is he just trying to irritate Caspian?_ Another small glance at Caspian revealed he was watching me again and very closely and I could tell that he gathered there were words unsaid between Thomas and me that only we understood and I grimaced inwardly for I felt certain that I would be questioned about it later.

Caspian spoke before I had opportunity to reply to Thomas. "Everything will be said with me present," He sent me a dry look. "Whether or not I am welcome."

I raised my voice before either man decided to start a quarrel. "Did you see Peter, Thomas? After what happened, did he get away?" I asked, fervently hoping my brother was safe.

Thomas touched the hand I leant back on, propping myself up. "Your brother is fine."

Another frown graced my lips but I did not pull away from his reassuring gesture. "Can you not tell me more than that? Was he hurt? Did he see who was chasing us? Did anyone question my disappearance? Or is it like every other time I've been here? Like no time had passed in England?" I paused for a breath and Thomas cut in before I could continue on.

"Peter was fine, perhaps a bit bruised, but no harm was done to him. And no, to my greatest knowledge, he did not see who they were."

"But-" I started.

He spoke over me. "However, he did say they wore dark clothing and that their horses were dark as well."

I broke in again. "But he did, in fact, see them? And they didn't hurt him?" The description he gave described just about every person who'd tried to catch/kill me since that night at my aunt and uncle's. "Why wouldn't they hurt him?"

Caspian kept silent throughout the exchange, listening intently, I imagined.

"Your brother told me what happened and that is all he told me." Thomas stated dismally.

"And the others?" I prodded him further, jabbing my elbow into his side vigorously in my haste for answers.

"Your brother, Edmund and cousin, Eustace did not seem particularly surprised when I informed them of where you might be. Your Sis-"

I jumped in abruptly, stopping him. "How is that? Neither one of them were in the least shocked? They both knew as well as I that I wasn't to see Narnia again." I shook my head against the flow of my tumultuous questions. "Ed even made a point to tell me as such a few days before you came to warn me." I nodded at Thomas and then I shook my head and let my hair fall over my shoulders in a tangled mass. At my request Elle had left it hanging free today, as I liked it. "Why wouldn't they be shocked?" I demanded, looking to both men as if they could produce an answer.

It was Caspian who spoke up next. "Is everything always a question to you?" A teasing edge came into his tone.

And I shrugged my shoulders in a noncommittal way and smiled slightly feeling a little childlike when he looked at me like that. "I just wonder why neither one of them would be shocked that I was in Narnia..." I paused contemplatively. "Unless they _knew!" _I swung about so I could see both men's faces again. "Could they have _known _somehow?" Remembering that I'd interrupted Thomas I waved a hand at him, gesturing for him to go on. "What were you about to say?"

Thomas raised his hand and smirked at my excitement. "Your sister was the only that looked surprised when I told them you'd been sen- went back to Narnia."

I wrinkled my nose before thinking about Thomas' compliment that he thought I looked pretty when I did it. Brushing the thought away like a bothersome fly, I searched my mind for an answer to anything. "Thomas," I started. "You said you were exiled to England? But how would you have gotten there? And back besides?" Forgetting Caspian had not been present for that particular conversation I put my scrambled thoughts into words anyway.

Thomas did not grant me a reply and I stood up and gazed at him quizzically. "Well?"

It was Caspian who answered me finally, at least partly. "Thomas wasn't exiled to your world Lu, however he got there it wasn't by any doing of mine." I took in his expression slowly, he was telling the truth.

I chewed the inside of my lip and pondered that piece of information. "Then how did you get there?" Placing both hands on my hips I paced up to Thomas and stared at him, willing the answer from him.

Thomas did not speak for a long moment and when he did it was short and gave me no clue as to why he might've been in England. "It is a very long story."

I dropped down on my knees in front of him so we were face to face. I shrugged inwardly at the closeness. "Why can't you just tell-?"

A warm hand landed on my shoulder, Caspian's hand. It distracted me momentarily, that and the fact that he said.

"Lu, does it truly matter how he got there? Or here?" His voice had taken on an all too familiar impatient tone and I raised my eyes to search past Caspian's broad shoulder to the trees behind him. I caught a passing glimpse of something.

_Someone. _For the space of a second my heart felt like it had stopped its regular beating pattern as I remembered the woman from yesterday but I knew it wasn't her. Call it intuition if you like but I knew exactly who it was. _James. _

Sighing, I didn't even look at Caspian or Thomas. "Your friend is calling." I remarked distastefully. Caspian did not whirl around and scan amongst the trees but started to say something back. I cut him off quickly. "Thank you for letting me speak with Thomas, Caspian." I inched forward and wrapped Thomas in a swift hug. "I hope to see you again sometime, my friend."

Thomas offered me a lopsided grin and pulled me tightly against his chest for a short moment. "I would be honored and would very much enjoy that...Lucy."

I felt, more than saw Caspian stiffen as Thomas used my name without my title and I knew that it was definitely time to go our separate ways for today.

From nowhere Thomas' guards appeared and took him by each arm and he was led off, leaving me staring ruefully after him, Caspian at my side.

"I'd no idea you were such good friends." He remarked with cynicism sprinkled throughout his words.

I bit my tongue on a sharp comment for I felt I at least owed him that after what he'd done for me last night. "James wants to speak with you, I think."

I heard Caspian exhale a deep breath beside me. "I think you have a bit of explaining to do."

I laughed a small laugh. "I could say the same of you." I stepped lightly onto the stone garden path.

"Lucy, wait." Caspian called after me and I heard rapid footsteps coming after me and I stopped. "What is it?"

His eyes searched my face for a second. "I want to finish talking with you later today." I gave him a gesture to go on. "_Would_ you speak with me later on?" He asked, his usual commanding voice gone.

I gave a faint shake of my head. "If James can go a few minutes without needing your consent about something." I made as if to move again but he stopped me a second time saying.

"Wait." I barely turned my head when his fingers touched my cheek. "You have some," His fingers became more firm and he rubbed at a spot on my cheek. "Dirt on your face."

My skin tingled where he touched and he ducked his head quickly, his lips feeling their way to my jaw lightly and he whispered amusedly. "I'll see you later."

I watched his retreating back until he left my sight and yet, I still did not budge. I stood still and let a cool, spring breeze ruffle my hair and let the sun warm my already flushed skin. Raising my hand, I rested my palm to my cheek.

His moments of tenderness puzzled me beyond reason.

~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~

It was scarcely two hours later and I had just finished my midday meal. Caspian had yet to return and I had a strong urge to go exploring for information again. My guards waited for me as I exited the kitchens where I'd been sitting, instead of the large dining room, for my meal. I saw no reason to eat by myself in the grand room designed to seat hundreds if necessary. It felt a waste for only one to be seated there.

I walked to my room, taking my time. Leaving my guards behind at the doorway. _I need to finish telling Caspian about the woman. _I thought, walking restlessly about the room. At that very moment it felt a little like a cage. Frowning, _this won't do at all. _I thought. My mouth turned down at the corners as I thoughtfully turned over my questions in my mind.

I had a sudden longing to feel the salt laden wind dance across my skin as it had when I'd first arrived in Narnia at Cair Paravel. I would have liked to go down and play in the salty water, letting the tangy wind caress my face and hair, tangling it into an unmanageable, nearly impossible, mess. I paced back in the other direction across the length of my room and threw open my balcony doors, taking a breath of spring air.

And idea came to me. _I can ride Dannsair! Perhaps we could slip off- _I shut my rebellious escape plan off short. I had promised Caspian that I wouldn't sneak off again. It had been in a roundabout way but I _had_ promised. I scowled down upon the beautiful green landscape below me and I debated the consequences of going anyway.

I wouldn't, of course. Not after yesterday's surprise visitor.

_So I'll have to settle for the next best thing. _I little grin crept up to my lips as another idea came to mind. _The practice grounds. _

And to the practice grounds I went. If I was planning on following Caspian when he left I was determined to be prepared. Not like I was on the castle's roof and when I'd first entered Narnia. If I had to I would borrow a knife and/or a sword from Caspian or one of his men. But I _would_ defend myself next time.

And if everything that had happened was any indication of what might happen, there _would_ be a next time. I _would_ be prepared.

As I walked, guards in tow, my thoughts turned, not to every question I had yet to answer but to Thomas and Caspian's behavior a little while ago. Thomas's compliments and Caspian's insistence on helping me, not only down the steps but keeping his hand on my back all the way down the path until we were deep into the gardens. _Protectively. _I thought. And the way he stiffened when Thomas said my name and hugged me back? _What did it mean? _I wondered but a part of my mind argued logically. _Did it __**have**__ to mean anything? _Caspian's inquisition echoed mockingly in my head.

_Is everything always a question to you? _

_Was_ everything always a question to me? It seemed as if it were true. My thoughts wandered back to Caspian's lingering hand on my shoulders. Was it nothing more than the gesture of a friend? Regardless of the racing heart and blushingly tight skin it gave me? Did he have any idea what he could do to me? What he was doing to me?

And then there was Thomas. He confused my already puzzled feelings so that they seemed twisted in a knot entirely too twisted to try and decipher or untangle.

_And now I sound almost like all those girls back in England that I once mocked for all their swooning and ridiculous actions over men. _I scoffed at myself. _What does he think of me? Do you think he noticed me? Is he looking my way? _I rolled my eyes with displeasure.

"Queen Lucy." I startled back to the present and out of my thoughts. One of my guards had spoken. "Your Majesty, we're heading to the practice grounds."

I pursed my lips quizzically and nodded. He continued like he thought I did not understand. "Where the men practice with their weapons..." He said like it should be evident.

I smiled then, understanding, for this amused me. I let a giant grin cover my lips as we crossed into the fields behind the castle where Caspian's men could be found at all hours practicing with their weaponry. "I know." I kept a laugh back. "Now which one of you shall I have the pleasure to fight with today?" I perched my hands on my hips archly. "Or perhaps the three of you together?"

Two of the guards looked more than a little bit dismayed, only the largest and quietest of the three men, Philip was his name, gave me the closest thing to a respectful look as possible and I felt some empowerment and faith that someone still remembered the Queen I'd been and would become again.

"Queen Lucy wishes to practice." He muttered like it was the most normal thing in the world and I could have thanked him for not questioning me right then and there. My other two guards surveyed their fellow comrade with a look that could only be conveyed as they thought you lacked sanity.

"Could I borrow a sword or dagger, perhaps?" I requested, glancing around as we drew the stares of a few men already practicing in the field.

They looked on as if they didn't quite understand what was happening. In the end Philip pulled a knife free of his cloak, that I hadn't seen and produced it in front of me. "My Queen." He gave a small bow as I took it from his proffered hand.

"Thank you, Philip." I replied and tested the weight of the knife in my hands. It was a fair weight, about the length of my forearm. A knife that looked like it had seen many a fight, its blade was razor sharp but worn to a fine point.

I registered a whooshing sound from behind me, of a blade being removed from its scabbard. One of my other guards, Drac, held out his sword, hilt first, for me to take.

I offered a quick smile of thanks. As I held it in my hand, I gave my shoulder a slow, easy, roll back, loosening muscles that hadn't held a weapon in months. The sword was heavier in my hands and I knew that I would not be fighting with both weapons. The sword would require both my hands if I was to be quick in my fighting.

I tucked the knife snugly in the waistband of my dress. I'd had plenty of practice doing that before. After I'd finished, I raised the hand that still held Drac's sword and gave a smooth circle, giving a jab into air.

I would have much preferred my daggers. _Or the twin blades in Caspian's room. _I twisted my wrist and lunged into a backwards motion, I kept up my singular battle for only moments before asking. "Who am I to fight?"

The youngest of my guards stepped forward and I had a feeling that this was the men's way of going easy on me, thinking that if the youngest and least experienced of the three took me on that when I lost it wouldn't be as bad. That I wouldn't be as upset.

I raised a brow and offered him a half smile, raising my borrowed sword to Rhi's blade, not quite touching it. He kept his even with mine and murmured in a, be my guest, kind of way. "My Lady."

I shifted on my feet and let my fighting instincts flow back into me. It truly felt like it had been a long while since I'd held the cold steel of a sword in my hands.

I feinted quickly to the left to test Rhi's reaction to the overdramatic movement. He blocked it smoothly and efficiently, not making any fancy, over thought moves.

Smiling, I shifted my body to the left as if I were about to throw another blow in that direction, except this time with my whole weight behind it.

Rhi bounded to block my feinted blow and I dodged to the right as he did, bringing my sword up with a slashing motion. Rhi jerked back around and steel collided with steel as our blades touched for the first time and he barely managed to block my blow.

I took a quick moment to glance into my opponents eyes and I wasn't shocked to find surprise there. _Good, _I considered. _He didn't expect that. _

Being underestimated because you are female is one of the greatest advantages you can have in a fight.

Rhi's guard was now up as he became aware that I was not fooling about with this practice. I turned, angling my body inward towards him and moved my left foot quickly behind my right one. I moved round about Rhi in a circle so I could watch him closely and keep him from finding some advantage from me standing still.

"Your move." I called out, challenging him.

My opponent, Rhi, gave his blade a small swirling jab and he charged forward at me, quick as lightning. I had no time to think about the mistake he had made but darted to the side and in the middle of the move I suddenly had a curious idea.

I changed my path and bounded inwards in a half crouch to avoid his sharp blade and slammed his knees. I successfully caught him unawares as I briefly saw his widening eyes and had only a second to roll out of his way when he fell to the ground, unbalanced by my body hitting him in his knees, taking the feet out from under him.

I was on my feet as quickly as I could manage, jumping to where Rhi struggled to rise.

But Caspian was no fool, his men are the best and they are skilled at what they do. Knowing that is why I wasn't surprised to see Rhi jump nimbly back to his feet, ready for round two of our sparring.

I laughed; this was something I had missed in England. The faster pace of my heart in a fight like this, of being in Narnia, and the feel of two (kind of) friendly blades clashing together. I felt the eyes of dozens of men on us as out fight caught the attention of the other practicing men, luring them over and they in turn drawing more attention as a larger crowd gathered.

I even heard a few cries of encouragement. I had just ducked a slashing blade and swirled around to face Rhi again, when Caspian, who I hadn't seen crossing the large expanse of ground Rhi and I had made our sparring ring, until he gave Rhi a faint jerk of his head and he sent me an expressionless glance.

I offered a sour one in return. _Am I not allowed here either? _I almost dared to ask but the foreboding silence that had fallen over the crowd kept me from making any sort of noise.

I lowered my borrowed sword and surveyed Caspian's face more closely. He looked stern, but there was something...something in his eyes that didn't match his demeanor.

I was watching his face so intently that the familiar sound of someone removing a sword from a scabbard took a moment to reach my ears and stirred me from searching his expression for some clue.

I felt a giggle rising in my chest when his eyes met mine and I saw amusement sparkling in their black, mesmerizing depths. I released a breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding and gave a small laugh.

Never taking his eyes from mine he raised his sword by its elegantly carved hilt. "En guard." Was all he said and I lifted my own sword back to its previously defensive position.

Caspian darted forward, stopping feet from me and went around, circling me quickly. I followed him with my eyes until I felt a little dizzy at his continuous, never ending circle.

That was when it dawned on me that he was doing it on purpose. To follow your opponent with only your eyes was a beginner's mistake. I felt chagrined at having fallen for such a simple mistake, instead of contemplating on that I moved back a couple of steps so that we were circling each other instead.

His attack was so swift that I hardly saw it but my long unused battle instincts sensed it and I was moving before my mind had any reason to thrown in a complaint.

Our swords clashed in midair, screeching as my blade slid down his, my arms trying to match his length as well as hold the attack away from my body. I was no match for his strength so I would be relying solely on my swiftness.

Our blades fought in air for precious moments, as much a battle of wills as it was strength. Our eyes nearly met but I jerked my blue eyed gaze back to his hands before I could define whatever expression his dark one's held.

If I looked into his eyes too long, this fight would be over before it got good and started. My arms shook slightly under the pressure he tilted down on my blade and I jumped backwards to pull my sword down from his and free it. I twisted mine away and then back up quickly to thrust my point at him.

This is how the fight went on for what felt like an hour but was really only minutes. _It's like a dance. _I registered. Each moving with the other gracefully to match the others move.

It was elegant, almost, and I wondered if it looked that way from the sides of our sparring ring to the men who'd gathered and who cheered their King and Queen on.

Somewhere amidst the fight I heard Dannsair's high pitched squeal cutting through the now, rather huge, crowd. And the smaller but equally high voice of little Edwin. He cheered for Caspian and me both, in turn.

I was getting tired and I was nearly breathless. We drew around so we faced each other and as a streak of sweat dripped down my face and stung my eyes, I attempted to dislodge his sword by bounding up to him and reaching for the knife Philip had been so kind as to give me and drew it down, snapping it against the hilt of Caspian's razor sharp blade.

I saw bewilderment on his face; our faces now only stood inches from the others as we struggled briefly, his hot breath just wafting across my damp with perspiration cheeks.

Laughter showed around his eyes and he whispered for me only. "You cheated." And the temptation was too strong; I raised my eyes to look into the eyes that I'd longed for months to see. The midafternoon sun caught them and gold reflected out at me, taunting me.

I caught my breath in awe.

In that second, I never saw his hand move. But it did. And that hand now held the knife I'd held only a moment past. His blade stopped inches from my neck and the knife was inches from the back of my neck as he let his hand rest there.

It was over just like that. And I had a very vivid memory of a similar fight ending like this upon the Dawn Treader's sun bathed, wooden, deck. Except, Ed and Caspian had been the one's fighting then.

And Caspian didn't evoke the kinds of feelings in Ed that he did in me.

There was stillness all around and I believe that everyone couldn't quite gather that it was over.

But it was.

And I had lost.

For an eternally long second or it just seemed that way. Caspian's head tilted down over mine and I could feel his wild heartbeat pounding beneath a hand I didn't know I'd put on his chest and I wondered if he could feel mine.

That instant felt like it could and would have led to anything. A kiss, an argument, teasing words, just about anything, had we not a crowd watching.

The crowd erupted then into cheering wholeheartedly for their King. Caspian finally dropped both blades away from me and tossed the knife he'd pilfered from my hand into the air and caught it skillfully by its thin blade, offering its hilt to me.

I took it hurriedly, not exactly sure what the feeling in my chest was. I am not and have never been a poor loser. So that wasn't really it. I had lost because I'd done what I hadn't meant to, and that was look into Caspian's eyes.

_How is it possible for a single being to hold someone's attention like that? _It sounded dangerously close to a weakness. I could have won the sparring match but I'd _let_ a man distract me.

It sounded like something Susan would do. I clenched my teeth together, closing my fist tightly on the hilt of the knife. _I am not Susan. _

_'Love is never a weakness, my child.' _The words echoed in my head and I pondered where they could have come from and what they meant. _Am I in love with- _I didn't finish the sentence. Partly because I wasn't sure if I could or even wanted to and partly because Caspian spoke up, breaking me away from a thought that would almost certainly change my life.

"Lucy, can we-" An urgent shout cut him off. Running feet pounded across the field and broke through the crowd. "Your Majesty!" A young boy gasped, bending over to hold his hand to his side as he hobbled across the field to reach us.

Caspian strode over to grasp the boy by the shoulder, firmly. "What is it, my friend?"

The boy choked out a response. "It's been stolen!"

I was on other side of the boy by now. "What was stolen?" I asked him. The boy turned skittish eyes on me.

"The sword My Lady! The sword!" He sounded distraught and his hand shot out towards me. "This was all there was." An all too familiar slip of paper was in the boy's palm, wrinkled from where the boy had clutched it. I snatched it from his hand and tore it open where someone had left a smudge of wax to seal it. The twisting H symbol imprinted into its blood red middle.

"Lucy." Caspian's voice held a warning. "Hand it to me."

I did nothing of the sort. I opened it so I could read the words that probably threatened my life or Caspian's. If only the dooming words had been as simple as that.

Lucy," Caspian said again. "Give it to me please." It was too late the words were etched into my mind.

To His Majesty, King Caspian and Her Majesty, Queen Lucy.

You've ignored my warnings thus far,

When you're reading this it will have been too late.

I really must thank you however, for I never would have thought of him had you not enlisted his help in your little escapade, Queen Lucy.

Perhaps you'll heed this warning?

I knew who the note meant without use of his name. Like a death sentence I heard the warning in Caspian's note. He was the first, but not the last. _Not the last_. I felt the blood leave my face and I was already moving when I finished reading, lunging to grab Caspian by the arm. "Where is Edwin?" I clutched his arm hard. "Edwin, Caspian, where is he?" Caspian wrenched the note from my tight grip and I froze, wanting to close my eyes. _First but not the last. _

I heard Caspian bark something to his men and his hands took me by the shoulders and he looked into my eyes. "How do you know its Edwin?"

I winced back from his angry eyes. "Because I asked him to help me." Caspian released my arms and turned back to his men, calling out orders for them to leave at once.

I stood watching his disappearing back amongst his men when somewhere in my frantic mind I had an idea. I slipped out of Caspian's sight and melded into the crowd. The borrowed sword and knife still at my hip, I sought the golden hide of Dannsair.

When the horse saw me there was no question in her big eyes, she just said. "Get on then."

I did. The fluid movement of swinging up, coming easily. She trotted away from the crowd, her wings appearing on either side of her. I felt none of the awe from yesterday, as we ascended into the air. I said nothing. We soared through the air and my eyes scanned the surrounding land with careful eyes.

I took no time to think of the consequences Caspian would most likely have in store for me when I returned. It didn't matter to me at that moment.

"Dear Aslan," I had no idea that I'd spoken the prayer aloud until Dannsair seconded my words. "Edwin," I choked on the boy's name and my next words were scarcely audible to my own ears. "Help him, protect him, please, he never should have been-" I had to stop. I was not going to shed a tear. It was my fault that he was gone. My eyes burned anyway.

_It's my fault, _I said silently. _Please don't let him suffer for it. _I squinted my eyes and hung half off the winged horse's neck, ignoring the ache in my arms from holding on. _Please help us find him. _I begged the Great Lion, inside.

We soared across the cloudless sky for what felt like miles. A while passed before the winged horse beneath me stiffened all of a sudden and shouted over the wind from flying. "There!" I lunged forward on her neck and scanned the ground below with a vengeance.

"Where?" I demanded to know. The golden animal dropped underneath me and I felt temporarily weightless as I had falling from the castle's roof yesterday. A tiny squeak escaped from my lips before I could stop it. And when Dannsair pulled up abruptly I slammed back into her golden back. But I did not protest, I just asked again. "Where, Dannsair?" She swooped lightly and then we were free falling through the air and we didn't stop until I felt a small and surprisingly smooth bump as we landed.

I breathed a quick sigh of relief.

"Quiet!" Dannsair ordered me and while tossing her head fervently said. "Just up ahead a ways, I didn't want us to be seen." She explained.

I slid carefully from her back so I would not hit her wings and whispered. "Stay here." The trees around us seemed to sway back from the horses piercing glare as she watched me through her silky forelock.

"I will do no such thing, young lady." Our eyes met. The horse's and human's and it was a clash of wills.

I shifted where I stood knowing that this was wasting time, I ground my teeth together and bit out a response. "I will not let someone else get caught because of me. I don't want you hurt." To soften my words I placed a hand on her strong shoulder. "And you'll make too much noise besides, I'll just see if Edwin's there..."

"And come up with the plan after?" The horse looked positively fearsome when she scowled at me. But the expression dropped away, softening, as she considered my words. "This isn't your fault."

I couldn't manage a small smile at her attempt to console me.

"Do _not_ do anything stupid." She instructed. "And if you get caught scream and I'll make short work of them."

I gave the motherly horse a grateful look and murmured. "Thank you." Right before I slipped into the forest surrounding us and it enveloped me like the jaws of a hungry animal.

_What are the chances we weren't seen coming from above? _I pressed my lips firmly together. _It does not matter; _I thought grimly and shoved my way against a thick bush as quietly as could be expected. _I will get him back, if it kills me._

My nose flared as I spoke savagely to myself. _I should never have asked for his help._ I fought back at the foliage around me like the forest was an enemy itself and my only barrier between Edwin. If, in fact, he was still somewhere in the labyrinth like forest.

An eternity passed and I heard the distinctive sound of a branch snapping. I halted, stiffening my back in preparation for a coming fight and concealed a breath in my chest as I strained to hear where the sound had come from.

Nothing could be heard, not even the cheerful chirping of the birds that would normally occupy any tree of their choosing.

I waited until my chest tightened in opposition of me holding my breath in for so long and I drug in a harried breath before charging back into the maze of woods.

I had scarcely made it much farther when a feeling rose in my chest. A feeling that was similar, if not mirror like, of the one I'd had when I'd been locked into the stairway near Caspian's room.

Like someone was watching me. I shivered involuntarily as I thought. _Someone __**is**__ watching me. _

The realization and warning hardly had time to register in my mind before my battle instincts caused me to swing about frantically just as someone slammed into me from overhead.

My hands caught the brunt of the attacker's weight and forced them down along with my body, to the ground. I struggled against the pressing heaviness of another body.

"No." I may have said the word aloud or just thought it, but either way my attacker stopped and my hand had a will of its own as it reached for the knife pressing into the soft ground of the forest.

My attacker lunged at me and my eyes widened in shock as my hand came up, holding the knife. The person's weight became unbearable as the knife sank into flesh.

An unearthly scream reached my ears and a sick feeling in my stomach almost willed me to stop, for I felt like retching. But I jerked the hand that held the knife away from the figure. Reaching up instinctively and tearing the masked figure's cloak away from their face.

A woman's face stared back at me, white and glaring, her strangely violet eyes shining with hatred.

Any other time I might have flinched at the powerfully hard look but this was no time for cowardice. I lifted my blade and pressed it lightly to her throat.

"Where is he?" I growled.

The woman smiled at me, her lips pulling apart to reveal white teeth that didn't look entirely human. "Did you really think I'd tell you, love?"

Her mockery in the situation was ill-timed and I lunged at her, catching her straggling ink black hair in my fist. I was nearly nose to nose with her as I hissed. "Tell. Me. Now." The blade in my hand pressed ever closer as each word came out evenly, each a sentence of their own.

Truthfully, though? It was all I could do not to throw the weapon away from me. Warrior Queen aside, I had no desire to kill anyone, even her. I finally saw a flicker of...fear? In her eyes. _But no, that's not quite it. _I had time to think.

"Lucy!" A voice cried out in the deathly quiet forest. I did not release the woman's hair but simply pulled her with me as I whirled around to face...

Edwin. Edwin stared back at me and his eyes landed on the knife I held and I could read horror across his small features. His face scrunched up in a way that made me think he was confused. Or trying not to cry, both of which were entirely possible.

"Wha- wha- what are you doing?" His voice shook.

"Edwin," I said with disbelief. "Where have you been?"

The small boy whimpered slightly and said. "I was out walking with that nice lady." I knew to whom he pointed but I could not help a glance at the woman who'd attacked me. The woman pried herself from my grip.

_What in Aslan's name? _

She raised a long nailed hand that looked more animal like, but what animal, I could not fathom. And there was no time to think as she said. "I was supposed to bring him back but I rather like letting you watch him die, better."

I was in motion before I saw the dark light dancing across her hateful face; I dove and willed every ounce of my body to stay the dark magic that she threatened to release upon Edwin.

I collided into her and she shrieked. I may have screamed as well but it was hard to hear over Edwin's cries and the woman's shrieking calls. Pain enveloped my side and from the corner of my eye I saw Edwin come closer.

"NO!" I screamed at him. "Don't! Run, Edwin!" Ignoring my cries he came on anyway and that single moment of distraction was enough time for the woman to lunge forward and her hand hit me hard in the face and I ignored the pain in my side as I felt anger. I jumped back at her, my balled fist catching her in the jaw. _How is she not dead? _I screamed inwardly. Blood stained her abdomen and soaked through her clothing but she fought like the injury was nothing.

We struggled against each other. "What are you?" I spat out in her face.

She hissed at me and viciously produced a hidden dagger out of the folds of her dark cloak. It slashed out searching for a piece of my flesh and I just ducked it.

_Aslan, help me, help us. _I leveled my own blade and the woman backed off a few feet. Her head turning to the side so she could spit blood from where I'd hit her in the face and she gave me a sardonic laugh. "You think you can beat me, Little Queen?"

My side ached painfully, throbbing as her voice took on a deeper tone and her free hand was raised again. She muttered something that sounded like a different language.

"Lucy!" Edwin cried out to me in warning, I saw the same dark light around the woman's fingertips.

She was pointing it at Edwin.

I didn't think.

I jumped.

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( I am sooo evil sometimes. :O )

The light was released from the woman's claw like hand. I heard a scream that I couldn't be sure wasn't mine and I hit the unrelentingly hard ground.

_I failed. _The condemning thought ran through my mind and I felt tears burn at my blue eyes.

That was an instant before a wave of pain shook my side. I gasped and writhed to the side on the ground, the pain taking my breath so I couldn't scream.

Edwin appeared in my line of vision and dropped to my side, shaking me. I almost groaned as he shoved me but the pain eased off and I pushed my way to stand shakily on my feet.

I swiveled around, expecting another attack but saw the woman lying on the ground, looking unconscious. Or dead. I wasn't sure which.

"What happened?" I croaked out to Edwin, turning presently when he did not answer. "Ed?"

I blinked when I did not see him by side. "What-" I swung about in a circle, scanning the forest near me. "Ed!" I screeched, feeling something dangerously close to panic. "Ed, where are you?"

I crossed over to the woman, striding quickly. Looking at her. Her eyes were closed. I searched her over with my eyes. Coming to rest on a pendant she wore on a chain round her neck. I reached and jerked the chain, feeling it break.

Holding it up in the dim light of the forest I looked at it closely. It was round, almost coin like but it was engraved with the same twisting H like letter that had been on every note and the stone that threatened me and Caspian and now Edwin. I gave it a disgusted look and shoved the trinket in my pocket. I leaned forward and grasped the knife she still clutched as well for it wouldn't do to leave the enemy with any sort of weapon regardless of them being living or not.

I pulled back, suddenly no longer wanting to be near the evil woman. I stepped back and went searching around the area of forest where Edwin had stood, the realization coming over me that he was gone. Biting back another wave of panic I cut through the brush and called out for the boy.

I rushed about, paying no heed to where I went and I only stopped when a shriek cut through the forest's thick foliage and told me that the woman, the woman who lay dead in the woods, had friends. And they had found her.

I swallowed back my fear and tried to think clearly as I broke into a run. _Where is Dannsair? Which way did I come from? _The horse had told me to scream for her. How could I do that when they could be anywhere in the forest? _I could be dead before anyone ever got here. _A chill ran down my back and I called out quietly.

"Dannsair." Hoping for a response. There was none and I went on. _What happened to Edwin? How could he just disappear like that? _Fear for the little boy wound itself in my heart and threatened to choke me. "Dannsair!" I called out again. _Please, please, answer me. _

I didn't have to look any further. The golden horse came to a sliding halt when she broke through the trees and almost collided with me.

The pain in my side was back but I paid it no mind and threw my arms about the horse's neck. "Quickly, I need you to fly up so I can see." She flicked her pale head and bumped me onto her back.

"Hold on then." I ran my fingers into her silky mane to hold on as she glided almost straight up into the sky. Another shrieking cry reached us as we lifted through the tops of the trees and Dannsair snorted uneasily. "What is that?"

I couldn't answer so I shook my head. We searched and searched for the young boy. It was Dannsair who finally said sadly. "We have to get back, Destrier saw us leave but I doubt he was able to explain."

I cringed at her words. "I can't just leave him, Dannsair. Do you think that they'll-" I gasped and clutched my arm to my side, trying to hold back a stronger wave of pain.

"Lucy? Lucy!" Dannsair swerved in midair tilting so she could try and see me on her back. "What is it? What's wrong?"

"Uuuuhhh." I tried to reply but only came up with a groan. However, the moment passed briefly after and the vice, the pain held on my chest eased and I could drag in a breath of air again.

I patted Dannsair's neck to calm her. "I'm fine."

The horse snorted again under me, only this time in derision. "You're lying, what happened? Did you get hurt?"

I unclenched the hand I had pressed into my side slowly. "I just got hit in the side, its fine. Really." I attempted to convince her.

The winged horse turned in a wide arc. "I'm taking you back to the castle, you're injured and you need to see it tended to."

"No!" I argued. "We have to find Edwin!"

"King Caspian's men are searching the forest and all roads near here. If he is to be found, they will find him." She told me, her tone ordering no argument from me.

I held my tongue for only moments. "But I can't just-"

"Yes," She interrupted. "You can. He will be fine, if you cannot make yourself come to trust in Caspian's men, then trust in Aslan."

How could I argue with that? I couldn't and wouldn't. So I fell back, silent as she flew hurriedly towards the castle.

Something caught my eye down among the trees; I tilted my head down and studied the ground. A glint of something sparkling in the evening sunshine. I squinted trying to make out...something was down there. My heart skipped in my chest at the possibility of it being Edwin.

"Dannsair, stop a moment won't you?"

The horse kept on. "I am not going back, child. We're going to the castle." She said with finality.

Frowning, I was now halfway turned around on the horse and facing her creamy tail. "No, stop for a moment. I see something down there."

I had her attention now and she seemed to float in air as she looked down to where I pointed. "What in-" She was cut off as a cloud passed over the sun and allowed a clear view of the ground. A person, as I saw that it was indeed, a person. I saw that they held something.

Something that was pointed at us. A shriek could be heard as it rose from the forest floor from where the figure stood.

"Dannsair mo-" Was all I got out as an impeccably aimed arrow sliced through the air and sank into Dannsair's feathery soft, left wing.

She squealed in pain as the arrow hit its target and I slid on her back as she twisted in the air and tried to stay upright but couldn't with only one good wing.

I shrieked as we fell and I almost lost my grip.

"Pull it out! Pull it out!" The pale horse ordered frantically.

"But-"

"Do you want to die?" She didn't wait for me to respond. "Do it!"

I reached for the arrow and gave it a twist, blood poured onto the horses creamy wings and my stomach twisted with distaste. I felt Dannsair's breathing waver as I pulled it out and she fought to stay in the sky.

By the time the castle came in view Dannsair was breathing even harder and she flew at an angle. The spot on her wing became larger, a crimson spot amongst her pale feathers.

"Are you okay?" I asked for the dozenth time and the horse snorted in reply. The ground was coming closer and shortly I felt a hard bump as Dannsair's injured wing hindered her landing ability.

I jounced in place and was nearly thrown from her back.

Soon after, we were seen trotting across the fields I had fought and lost a battle to Caspian earlier. That seemed a long way off, like it had happened months ago instead of a few hours before.

"Lucy." Dannsair said as people gathered to my side with eyes that were a mixture of worry and anger. "Are _you_ okay?"

I had no opportunity to answer as a lad who worked in the stables came and laid a leathery hand on her shoulder. Murmuring something to her and she was lead off in the direction of the stables. I called after her as I felt an ache beginning to grow in my side once again. "I'll tell you later."

A flick of her ear told me that she had heard and that she would most likely hold me to that sentence.

~X~X~X~X~X~

People engulfed me and I felt like I couldn't draw a breath. The pain increased in my side to an unbearably strong throbbing pain. I clutched my middle. People swarmed and touched my shoulders, asking if I was all right and what had I been doing. Why had I been gone so long?

It was Elle who broke into the chaotic crowd and said. "Give her some air! She looks positively white!" A tough, work hardened hand took me by the shoulder. ""Queen Lucy? Can you speak?"

I gasped in reply and bent double, both hands on my abdomen. "Get- my-" I breathed heavily. "cord-" A pain hit me full force and I fell to my knees.

Elle was calling out something that my pain filled mind couldn't hear. I was faintly aware of someone picking me up and carrying me...I forced open my eyes and looked into James' face.

I wrenched my eyes back closed and open again painfully. "_James?" _

My mouth twisted with irony and I heard a dry voice saying. "Yes, Your Majesty, I'm carrying you inside."

_James. _I thought with confusion in my pain. And his icy blue eyes faded from my vision as I fell into a deep sleep...

~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~

I woke abruptly, unsure of where I lay. Slowly I became aware of talking. I wrinkled my forehead and tried to think what had happened.

_Edwin. _My mind whispered and I felt my eyes burn simultaneously under my closed eyelids.

My side no longer ached and the voices became clearer. "What happened? Someone demanded. The voice deep and richly accented. My skin tingled with familiarity. _Caspian. _

I heard pacing across the room, boots stomped an angry pattern across the wood floor. "Can you tell me that? What did she say?" The steps did not stop and another voice spoke up.

"Oh, will you calm down. She will be fine; we've given her some of that magical cordial she keeps." James' voice was more tolerable sounding than usual, but not by much. "She said nothing, I carried her in and she'd fainted by the time I put her on the couch."

Caspian sighed deeply and I peeked my eyes open just a bit to watch as he ran strong, exasperated fingers through his dark hair.

"Did you find the boy?" James asked after a moment of heavy silence.

Caspian moved, changing his pattern of pacing and I felt his shadow fall over me as he stopped by the couch, James had presumably lain me on. "No. The only thing we found was a woman."

James sounded intrigued as he asked. "Really? A woman, what was she doing out there?"

"That's what I'd like to know, she was dead." Caspian said plainly, an edge to his tone.

Now James sounded more shocked than I'd ever heard him. "What happened to her?"

I bit the inside of my lip on a grimace from my place on the couch as that particular moment when the woman had jumped at me and been impaled with my borrowed knife came to mind.

As the men conversed on, I contemplated what, exactly, I would be telling Caspian. I would tell him about the woman, of course and about yesterday but what about the reason Edwin had been taken? Because I'd been sneaking into Thomas' room. _Yes, I'm sure that would go perfectly well. _I thought sarcastically.

I heard receding footsteps as someone left the room and a peaceful quiet fell back upon me.

Momentarily, anyway. Caspian's accented voice whispered and Caspian's lips brushed my ear softly as he laid a hand on my forehead. "I know you're awake."

If my eyes had been open, they would have widened. As it was I slowly opened them and peeked from under my eyelashes at him. "So I am."

"How are you feeling?" Glancing into his eyes, I saw an expression I did not understand in their blackness.

I shifted in place and eased up an inch or so, testing my body. "Good as new." I said as lightly as I possibly could. It wasn't exactly easy to form a sentence with him leaning over me, our faces inches apart.

He didn't move and neither did I.

I felt the all too familiar urge to run my fingers across his face, despite everything else and I forced my eyes away from his. "You wanted to know what happened." I'm _offering _him information? I mocked myself.

I saw a small frown grace his full lips and he said. "You can rest for now," He paused. "But you will be telling me sometime."

"Just go ahead and get it over with." I muttered under my breath.

Something dangerous danced in his eyes. "Why did you run off again after you said you wouldn't?"

I shrugged my shoulders at him. "Edwin was gone; I had to go after him."

Caspian leaned back from his position over me. "You had to go after him?"

I nodded.

"Lucy, do you not think my men efficient? Or me?" He gave me no chance to respond. "Do you think it a game we're playing here? I'm trying my best to keep you out- keep you from getting hurt but you insist on heading into the midst of the problem."

"Now wait a-"

Caspian gestured his hand through the air. "And the note? What did it mean? What did you have Edwin do for you?" Caspian's jaw was taught in anger.

"Why does it have to have anything to do with your men," I cut my eyes at him. "Or you? I went after him because it's my fault he's missing." Any other time I would have argued with him but I couldn't bring myself to argue when Ed was still out there somewhere with..._them. _

"Just tell me truly, what is this about to you? Are you just trying to prove yourself to me or to-?"

I shoved at him to get him away from me and stood up, feeling bruised regardless of my apparent use of my cordial. "Why would I feel a need to prove myself to _you?_ You've made it perfectly clear that I'm nothing more than another problem to you."

I didn't feel I had the strength for this fight and turned my back to him, prepared to leave the room.

Caspian's looked after me, I felt his eyes burning into me as I went and heard his words long after I was out of hearing distance.

"You're never a problem for me, Lucy."

~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~

I spent the rest of that day resting up in my room and fighting back waves of guilt in turn for trying to start another argument with Caspian and for Edwin's disappearance.

My resolve to figure this whole mystery out wavered back and forth, to and fro. _Is this a good idea? What happened to Edwin? How could he be there and then just disappearing?_ _Oh Aslan, why is this happening? _I questioned.

Sometime during questioning myself and everything I must have fell asleep for it wasn't until the next morning I woke.

My body and mind ached. I turned restlessly under the cool sheets on my bed, wanting for some sort of peace. I peeked out my window to a grey sky that foretold of rain.

It easily suited my mood.

After a while I sat up, my mind wouldn't leave me be. I needed to do something, something active. To get my mind and body moving together. I stepped out of my bed and searched for an option.

Practicing my sword skill today did not seem at all pleasurable for I wished to be alone. _Bow and arrows. Archery. _

I searched through my drawers for clothing. I found the tunic of Edmunds; I'd first worn when I got here and pulled it on. Similarly I found a pair of small boots and put them on as well.

Today, I would practice my aim with a bow and arrow.

My guards were not outside my door when I opened it. But it did not make me sigh with relief as it would have yesterday morning. It made me wary. Suspicious that something was going on that day. Something made me feel not uneasy but like something wasn't completely right today.

But then I suppose it could have been just the rain and my ever present fear of a thunderstorm.

Either way I pushed out the door and made it out to the fields where archery practice was held. The field was devoid of any movement, no one was out practicing on this dreary day.

Stopping a hundred paces from a target, I raised the bow and arrow of Susan's that had appeared in my room sometime in the past few days and had not seen until I went searching for it.

I pulled the arrow back and with it pulled my thoughts to a stop as I tried to focus completely on the target. I loosed the arrow and it flew crooked, falling short of the middle of the target by a foot at least.

I bit my lip and raised another. With this one came mockery. _Silly girl, how could you ever think you would be worthy of a man like Caspian. _I shook my head vigorously against the derisive comment in my head.

This arrow didn't even hit the target and I felt equally angry and sorrowful tears burn at my eyes like a burning flame. I took a deep breath. _Quiet. _I ordered my thoughts, staying still with closed eyes and I felt a raindrop hit me on the nose, a drop glanced off my cheek and I heard thunder rumbling in the distance.

My stomach gave an uneasy swirl but I refused to move. _Why did you think you could stop them? You're just a girl. _I fought with myself, my inner turmoil from months past that I had kept inside spilled over and I leashed another arrow that flew wild but I ignored it and let a half dozen go before I realized that rain mixed with hot tears on my cold cheeks.

Stopping and feeling breathless I gasped on a sob. _You cannot cry! _I demanded myself. _The boy is gone because of you! _I glared at the target I had hit only once and sent another arrow that way through bleary eyes, blurred with rain as much as tears.

_You can't do it. _A voice mocked me but it wasn't my own. It was a voice that the last time I'd heard had been dripping with sarcasm and...and hatred. _You can't do it. _It said again, the voice was of my sister, her voice mocked me. Her voice and my own thoughts swirled around and through my head making me feel dizzy.

"Stop it! I finally shouted out into the rain that poured down on me. "Stop it." I said again, this time quieter but more firmly. I heard only one voice in my head now as knelt on the ground, eyes open and turned to a storm driven sky.

_'Be still, my child.' _

I felt peace of a sort. And my heart eased its frantic beating against my ribs. I raised both hands above me, letting rain wash down my body. _Be still. _

I was. I didn't move. A moment later the rain ceased and I watched a beautiful array of colors splash across the sky as a rainbow slipped before me, like a promise.

My tears were gone and I said out loud. "Thank you, Aslan."

"Lucy!" Someone called out to me. I still didn't move but waited until Caspian came and was kneeling beside me. "Are you alright?"

I nodded and pointed up at the sky. "It's beautiful, isn't it?"

Caspian didn't reply and after a second I turned to look at him while simultaneously standing and brushing at my brother's tunic. "I'm fine Caspian. At least, now I am."

Caspian didn't ask me to elaborate but he looked out at the target I had missed a dozen times. "Why are you out here practicing alone?"

"As you said," I replied easily. "I wanted to be alone. Why are you out here?"

"I couldn't find you in your room and I thought I might find you here." Thunder rumbled in the distance and said that there was another coming storm but for this moment in time it had passed.

I walked over to the target with Caspian by my side, each lost in our own thoughts, but not the mind rending one's that had haunted me earlier. These were peaceful for the moment. We gathered up the arrows and I made my way back to where I'd been standing.

I drew a breath as I unleashed an arrow.

And still missed. Blinking, I reached for another and it still fell short of its target.

I paused, frowning slightly. "I think your target is off." I gave Caspian a lopsided glance; truly there was no way for the target to be off.

Caspian gave a gruff chuckle. "Perhaps your aim is off?" He suggested pleasantly.

I shoved him in the shoulder but that just made him laugh harder. His arm slid round me before I knew what was happening and he turned me gently in his arms. "Do it again." He said quietly.

His skin tickled my neck and cheek as he rested his chin lightly on my shoulder. My hand trembled as I raised another arrow, this one falling just below its mark.

"Hmmm," I felt his voice rumbling against my back as he pulled closer. He slid his left arm under my own and put his hand just on my wrist, raising it a little. "Your hand is too low." He rested his other arm just beside mine and he wrapped his larger fingers around mine on the bows sleek wood. "Like this." He said in my ear.

His closeness intoxicating. I sucked in a breath as the arrow was pulled back, his scent around me, playing with my emotions. "Now." I released the arrow at his single word and it flew straight, slicing through the middle of its target.

I smile showed on my lips and was mirrored on Caspian's. He laughed and I could help but laugh with him. He could make me furious one moment and he could make me laugh in the next but somehow I didn't even mind at that second.

Caspian and I were..._something_. And I wasn't going to give up, I would find Edwin and solve this problem and I knew that I wasn't in it alone.

That morning could have ended a thousand different ways. I could have kissed him or he me. But neither one of us did, for that morning we were friends again, and that was enough.

_At least for now_. But I hoped that would change_. _I smiled. _And Su, _I thought, not smugly but something of the sort. _You were wrong._

**Hmmm, how about reviewing? :) Caspian's surprise will be in the next chapter...I think.**


	15. A Ball That Leads to Many Things

_**I really hope this chapter does everyone justice. I know the wait was long but there was something that I wanted to happen in this chapter in particular and it took a while to get there. And seriously I wanted this chap to be really short but we see how that turned out. **_

_**I can't think of anything else to add up here so I'll just list the songs I listened to while I wrote this chapter.**_

_**Jordin Sparks- Battlefield/ Switchfoot-Dare You To Move/ Skillet- Believe/ Eli Young Band- Guinevere/ Skillet- Lucy**_

_**And some others that I can't remember cuz I spent the last 3 hours editing this chap...lol**_

_**Well, I'll stop annoying you with these author notes now...Read on! :D**_

_**Chapter 15- A Ball That Leads to Many Things**_

We stayed there, practicing with my sister's bow and arrows all afternoon. This, to me, was kind of ironic in a way. _I wonder what Su would say if she could see this. _Was the thought that went through my head.

And whenever Caspian's hands moved to correct my own hands, I did not get annoyed, even when as, the Warrior Queen I should have known better than to make the mistakes I did. It was an unspoken rule, or at least to me it was, that you were never to let emotions rule your actions.

The problem was that...whenever Caspian wound his hand around my own I could not control the excited feeling that crept into my heart.

And I also couldn't quite bring myself to care all that much.

Thunder resounded in the distance, making me shiver, instantaneously. The coming storm, despite the wonderful morning with Caspian, spoke a warning to all listening ears.

"Lu, what's wrong?" Caspian's lightly accented voice tore me from my silent, forbidding contemplation.

"Nothing." I smiled up at him to reassure him. "I was just thinking."

"A dangerous thing, indeed." He smirked playfully. "Have I need to be worried?"

I shoved at his arm as his chest rumbled with laughter. I didn't resist the urge to join in and laughed with him as I said. "Perhaps." I didn't take my eyes from his face but watched as a strange expression crossed it.

"What is it?" I poked him in the ribs.

He hesitated before saying. "It occurred to me that I hadn't..." he moistened his lips. "That I hadn't told you how much you were...missed by..." I held my breath. "Everyone." I felt disappointed but not for long, he touched my cheek. "_I _missed you, Lucy." He admitted.

My heart skipped and my stomach flipped with butterflies that I had no power to control. I felt shy as I murmured. "And I missed you as well, Caspian." _More than you will ever truly know, probably. _I finished silently. I was unsure of what to say or do after that and a slightly uncomfortable silence descended over the both of us.

I took a glance at Caspian's face, noticing his tensed jaw I wanted to touch my fingers to it and feel it soften. Blinking, I took a breath and sighed, wishing for the impossible. _I wish I knew what he was thinking._

Caspian spoke then, sounding almost reluctant to ruin the peaceful morning. "Will you tell me what happened yesterday and about the woman you saw falling from the castle's roof?" There was no command; it was just a simple question.

And knowing that I had to at least tell him part of the truth for everyone's safety, I told him.

He kept quiet as I spoke and I in return told him everything except that I'd been in Thomas' room. I wasn't sure how much blatant disregard for his orders he would take.

When I got to the part of my story where the woman had dropped from the tree above me, I stopped. "What happened then?" Caspian asked, unaware that this was the part where our stories coincided.

I had killed the woman and he and his men had found her.

"You said you found a woman in the woods yesterday." It wasn't a question really, more of a confirmation. Caspian got a wary look about him but nodded at me to go on anyway. "She- Well-" I stumbled over the words. "I did it." I muttered.

Caspian, to his credit, did not look horribly surprised at my confession. "What happened?" He inquired again.

Instead of thinking up an excuse or lie I opened my mouth and told him every detail of that horrid afternoon. Even of the person who'd shot Dannsair.

"What happened to it?" Caspian asked me abruptly. I shifted where I stood, thinking about that answer. I had still clutched the single arrow when Dannsair and I had gotten back to the castle. But where had it gone after that? I had passed out briefly and James had carried me inside.

"Lucy?" Caspian cut into my thoughts and I gave my head a quick shake in reply.

"I still had it when James carried me inside yesterday." I voiced my thought. "I don't know where it went after that." I gazed about me unseeingly trying to remember every detail of yesterday. "Maybe James took it?" I suggested slyly, for I still had an inclination that James wasn't entirely innocent of wrongdoing with all this sudden danger that surrounded Narnia.

Caspian must not have picked up on my slyness because he agreed with me. "He might have left it in the study."

I nodded, perhaps a bit too eagerly and stepped towards the castle, gesturing for him to follow. "Shall we?"

Caspian shook his head at me. "First I want to tell you something." A smirk played around his lips and my mouth went dry with nervousness as my cheeks burned with color.

"What is it?" I managed to get out.

"I have a surprise for you." A secretive look sparkled in his dark eyes and I felt curiosity rise in my chest at his words.

"A surprise? For what?"

He reached and took my hand, pulling me closer to him. "To welcome you back properly." I felt like a puppy as I gazed up into his face with nothing less than adoring eyes but did nothing to stop it. "I wanted to have a ball to celebrate your return." He explained with an ever growing smile and he met my eyes, searching for my reaction.

I was definitely not going to disappoint him. My face split with a grin to match his own. He didn't even wait for me to speak before he said. "I," He rubbed a hand across his face as if he was almost shy. "I figured I should go ahead and tell you now so you wouldn't hear some sort of gossip about it. Like Elle or you're talking Pegasus."

I giggled at the comment. As we went on smiling at each other I did the most extraordinarily bold thing. I, for once, closed the small distance between us and slid my arms around his neck.

~X~

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_**What kind of person and/or authoress would I be if I didn't, like, drag out these really intensely romantic parts? :D **_

_**Hmmm, I could end the chapter here... ;) *evil laugh***_

_**But I don't guess I will, even if it is tempting. **_

_**So you can start reading...**_

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_**Now. Ha ha ha! =)**_

I gave him a hug. _Susan would be so proud. _I thought mockingly, though if I was mocking myself or her, I did not know. _Perhaps both. _

I could, for the briefest of moments, feel Caspian's heart beating against my chest as I rose on my toes so I could reach him better, it made mine triple its own pace. I was just moving to pull away again when his arm slid around me quickly and pulled me back, tightening his hold.

To keep me there, near him.

Thunder crashed, sounding very near us this time and I shivered. Or maybe that was because of Caspian's body being so close to mine.

Either way I glanced up at him, my lips parting to say. "Thank you for telling me Caspian."

He returned my gaze, looking down into my blue eyes, his strong fingers moving to slide down my lightly tanned cheek. "Why were you crying earlier?" The tender expression that shone from his eyes took my breath. Or what little I had left.

"I-" I gasped a little.

Caspian dropped his other arm from about me to place his hand on my neck. My skin had chills but was simultaneously hot at his touch.

_'Oh, Aslan, what is he doing to me?' _I vaguely thought.

"You know you can tell me anything, don't you Lu?" His brow was furrowed and I felt tears rise in my eyes. I tore my gaze from his to try and keep hold of my wayward feelings.

"Lucy," His tone softened but at the same time was firm. "Whatever you may think of me since you've come back..." His accent thickened as he became more serious. "You can tell me anything. You don't have to keep everything to yourself." It was hardly a reprimand, though it could have been.

His left hand cupped my chin to make me look at him again. "You can tell me the truth."

I hadn't expected him to say that. Or any of it really. I tried to move my tongue so I could utter a single sound. Nothing would come out.

As I didn't say anything immediately I saw his eyes darken, almost like he thought it a mistake he'd spoken. I felt his hand loosen and he made to drop it.

"Caspian, I-" I ran my tongue over dry lips. "I know." I whispered, my voice sounding unsteady to my own ears. And I guess I did, I just wasn't sure if I trusted him enough to tell him everything.

He watched me whilst I argued with myself inwardly.

"You don't trust me." Caspian's four words seared painfully into my heart. I bit the inside of my lip. I couldn't bring myself to answer him because I wasn't sure if I did.

Or maybe it was that I was afraid to trust him. Because I knew I would trust him too much. The one man I had ever known that had the ability to hold me captive with nothing but a look.

That frightened me. For if I ever admitted or he figured out that I cared for him in such a way...I did not want to think about the result. If he still cared for Susan or Lilliandril still, I didn't think I could bear hearing the sympathy that I knew would be sprinkled on me if he found out.

So it was just better for everyone, mostly me, if I tried to keep just a little distance between us. At least for the moment anyway.

_Back away. _A tiny voice sounded warningly in my head.

Caspian's eyes were unreadable as he continued to watch me, waiting for me to say anything to disprove his words, _anything_.

"Do you trust _me_?" I murmured, suddenly realizing how very close we were, a lot closer than we'd been moments before. And I didn't want to back away.

"That's not answering my question." His breath burned on my skin.

Yes, maybe that was it; I wanted to trust him a bit too much. "Answer mine first." I managed to say, his mouth was only an inch from mine.

Involuntarily, I leaned forward, my warnings and rationalization gone with him so close, I wanted his kiss.

I think I forgot to breathe at all as I _finally _felt the softest of brushes from his lips.

"Lucy!" A shrill voice broke me out of the trance he'd put me in and I jumped. Caspian turned his head, his mouth on my cheek instead of their original direction. My lips.

I gasped. _I am going to draw and quarter that feathery, golden horse. _Dannsair trotted up beside me and Caspian released me completely. A sort of wistful look in his eyes. "Perhaps you'll come to trust me sometime." He whispered as the horse came to a sliding stop.

"Queen Lucy!" I must speak with you about-" She halted as if seeing Caspian for the first time. "Pardon, King Caspian, I did not see you." She shot me an amused look. "Am I interrupting?" Her eyes were bright with ill-concealed laughter.

_No, of course not! _I told her silently but forcefully. _Why don't you go get James and Thomas and we'll make a proper meeting of this! _I sneaked a glance at Caspian.

"I suppose I'll let you two ladies catch up then." The corners of his lips quirked up with humor, the wistful look I thought I'd seen, long gone. He ducked his head, his words tickling my ears as much as his lips did. "I think we need to finish that..._conversation _later." And then he left, giving Dannsair a nod and a wink, leaving me standing on beside the pale horse.

Dannsair, of course, had a huge; horse like grin that I just knew was trouble. And my traitorous, flaming face did not help. "Sorry, I had no idea you and Caspian were..." She giggled a high-pitched sound that could only be that from a horse.

I jerked a hand to cut her off. "Don't even say it. One word. Destrier."

She went on regardless of my threat. "I _knew _that you cared for him! I thought as much that first day when we made it to the wharf in town and he swam to shore." She danced on four hooves in excitement. "You're in love with him, aren't you?" She bounced in place at the prospect, the thrill of it etched on her shapely golden head. She nodded smugly and said again. "I knew it!

"Dannsair!" I finally shouted in an attempt to quiet the enthusiastic horse. "Be quiet!"

She came to a stop and stared at me. "Well, were you not about to ki-?"

"Dannsair!" I squawked. "Shhh!" I shot a pointed look to the guards that had mysteriously shown up after Caspian had left. Had they witnessed the..._moment_ between Caspian and me? I didn't know whether to blush again or get angry. Someone always showed up at inopportune moments.

"Whaaat?" She whinnied at me.

I raised a stern brow. "We are not alone and I do not-" I bit the inside of my cheek. Did I love him? "We were not kissing." I hurriedly corrected. And we hadn't been, not really. We'd just been having a close discussion, a very close one.

But that wasn't entirely true. I had felt the briefest of touches on my mouth.

"Hmmm," The horse did nothing to hide her amusement. "I know you weren't," She said and I gave a satisfied nod that I had set her straight. "Yet." She added.

I flushed. "Caspian does not care for me like that, Dannsair." I insisted and then said to get her off the tender subject. "How is your wing?"

Her velvety horse lips presses together but she answered me. "Almost good as new. They put some sort of salve on it and I even went on a quick flight this morning."

"That's-"

She cut me off bluntly. "That aside, has Caspian _told _you that he doesn't care for you?"

I touched my lips thoughtfully. "Dannsair I don't want to talk about this."

"Why not?" She demanded robustly. "You don't want to admit that every time you look at him you stumble over your own words and you don't even notice anything else when he's there."

I turned away as indifferently as I could.

"See, you can't even deny it!" She exclaimed enthusiastically.

Remembering that she'd been about to tell me something when she'd noticed Caspian, I said. "What were you going to tell me a moment ago? Did you learn something?" I was very eager to get off Caspian and my...whatever it was.

"Oh!" She switched easily. "I have the most exciting news!" She arched her neck. "There is to be a ball thrown in your honor!"

I looked at her in disbelief. _That's what you wanted to tell me that was so important? _I raised my hands in an 'I absolutely give up' sort of gesture.

Dannsair went on despite my actions. She giggled and her large eyes widened with excitement. "And now that I know you fancy King Caspian." She laughed again but this time I felt wasn't a good laugh. _Oh no. _"We can do something about it, because frankly, my dear child," She paused, trying to think of a proper insult I was sure.

"Your methods will get you nowhere." She said bluntly. "You may know how to fight a Minotaur but flirting?" She made a 'hmphing sound'. "No more questions, you have my help!"

I rolled my eyes in sheer exasperation but felt a thread of curiosity wind itself around my attention and pull it closer. "And what if I did fancy someone? What would you suggest I do? Not," I hastened to add. "That I do, but _if _I did, what would you say?"

"Mmmhmm," She said in reply making me think she didn't believe it for a second. "First we will have a new wardrobe made for you."

I made a sound of protest that she promptly ignored. "You'll need..." She halted, thinking, calculating. "At least ten gowns for this week and one, maybe two for your ball. Never hurts to have options." She said this brightly.

While I stared at her with thinly veiled aggravation. "Dannsair. Dannsair!" I waved her quiet. "I do not need twelve dresses! I- I-" I trailed off trying to come up with a plausible excuse. "It's just too abundant, I don't need that many." I nodded my head and put my foot down steadily.

The golden horse tossed her head and I could have sworn she was rolling her eyes at me. "Alright, seven then." She went on before I could argue with her again. "You know the woman Elle, correct? She has arranged an appointment with a fine dressmaker for one o'clock in the afternoon today.

I shielded my eyes with one hand and stared at the sky but it was still gray and dreary from the forthcoming rain. "But it has to be already past noon!"

"Exactly, which means that we absolutely cannot cancel." The winged horse's lips curved into a huge self-satisfied smirk.

"Dannsair," I gave her a sour glance. "I appreciate your help but I don't need that many!" I gazed at my friend and willed her to understand that, yes, I did want to look beautiful, but if Caspian did not notice me as I was and not because of a pretty dress then he wasn't for me. No matter how much it stung my pride.

Dannsair was studying me closely. "No." She said loudly and firmly. "No, and we were making such wonderful progress. How can you think that you're not good enough?"

I looked away. _Am I always so transparent? _"It's not like that and you know it." I snapped distastefully. I ran my tongue over my teeth to give myself a second to debate if I really wanted to admit my next words.

"What is it that really bothers you so much?" Dannsair's voice was gentle now, taking on a motherly sounding tone, she nudged me with her nose.

I clenched my fists and exhaled a breath. "I don't want- I don't want people to compare me with my sister. I don't want, when I walk into the room, for everyone to look at me and see me as Susan." I admitted, feeling like I had opened an old wound.

What I really meant is that..._I don't want to walk into that ball and Caspian see me and compare me, to see me like Susan._

"I don't want to be some lesser being. I want..." I stopped because I wasn't sure of what I wanted exactly, that sentence could have ended a lot of different ways...I could have said I wanted Caspian to fall in love with me, that I wanted to be a girl that every man admired but not just for my looks. I wanted this grave danger to be over and for Edwin to be found and safe.

I closed my eyes to compose myself but only saw the betrayed eyes of the little boy as I held a knife to the demon woman's neck.

The words I'd heard earlier echoed in my head. _Be still. _And I cracked open my eyes. "Dannsair looked torn, like she wanted to say something, anything, but she knew I was fighting a battle within myself and she didn't need to interfere. _I am not and will never be my sister. _"You know what Dannsair? Five dresses, four for everyday and one for the ball, on one condition." The winged horse waited. "I want you to help me get a few shirts and couple pair of pants as well as a pair of boots. Can you do that?"

The horse didn't question my reasoning but looked ecstatic instead. "To the fitting?"

I smiled a real smile. "To the fitting.

~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~

I was standing on a box.

The dressmaker, who said her name was Martha, kept ordering me to turn right, then left. Elle joined us about five minutes into the appointment and set to bossing me as well. Especially about my posture.

I was attacked by a barrage of..."Turn right! No, not that far! Head up! Straighten your back, do you want this dress to be lopsided! Dear, you really must not fidget so!"

What felt like hours into the appointment and with my stomach growling pitifully at having nothing for breakfast, I saw a flash of something at the corner of my eye and tensed.

"No!" Martha called out from somewhere beneath me. "You've made me pin this wrong!" I stepped off the stand anyway, both tired of feeling like a doll and wanting to find out what I'd seen.

I wandered over the my balcony despite protests from both women and shoved away a drapery, jumping back in astonishment as a shadow fell over the balcony from above and I nearly toppled over backward. "What-!"

"I didn't mean to scare you." Dannsair didn't bother to hide her laughter as she touched down lightly and I severely hoped that I'd imagined the whole balcony shaking under her weight.

Either way I took another cautious step back.

"What are you do-" I was cut off by the shriek of the dressmaker.

"What is that animal doing? This simply will not do! Get rid of it!"

"_It_ has a name!" Dannsair called out, sounding perturbed.

"Hey!" I said to try and quiet them to no avail.

"Make her leave!" Elle ordered me.

"Make her leave! She might eat my material and I will not have some beast eating my finest selection of cloth!" Martha, the dressmaker screeched at me.

"A beast?" Dannsair squealed and I had to cover my ears against the high pitch. "Eat material? I'll have you know that I come from a long line of the finest, well bred, pure blood of my kind!"

"Will you be quiet?" I tried to call over the din again.

Elle chimed in about then with her forceful opinion. "Really, Queen Lucy, can't you make her go away? She rather...smells strongly."

"I do _NOT _smell!" The winged horse was indignant. "The very idea!"

"Hush!" I shouted in protest.

"You most certainly do!" Martha looked about hastily for one of her tortuous pins she'd spent the last hour stabbing into various areas of my body. She brandished a few particularly large ones in both hands like they were twin daggers. "I'll poke you!" The woman exclaimed.

I could only stand and watch with my mouth wide open as Dannsair bounced into the air and her golden head bumped into the ceiling of my bedroom.

I made a quick lunge for the dressmakers arm. "Stop!" I shouted once more.

And there we all were, a tangle of shouting (me), shoving (Elle), biting (Dannsair) and poking (Martha, the dressmaker) group when the door to my bedroom flew open, slamming into the wall with a _**bang **_and my guards burst in, also brandishing assorted weapons, a chorus of. "Your Majesty! Are you okay's?"

The calls of anger and concern of my guards turned to astonishment and embarrassment in about half a second as they took in me, in my dressing gown, Dannsair, with the dressmaker's hat now in her mouth, Elle, holding onto one of my arms and pulling me away from Martha and Martha shoving forcefully at the horse's pale nose.

The grown men averted their eyes, and their ruddy faces deepened in color. They hurriedly backed away and out of the room. "If we're not needed here..."

I waved them out a smile twitching across my face. Laughter burst out of my mouth as the door shut. I bent double as I laughed harder, tears rising in my eyes. Dannsair and Elle, the dressmaker all looked at me for a moment before they to, fell about laughing.

I wiped at the tears streaming before I choked out. "Dannsair, give Martha her hat back." I tried to order firmly but it was impossible when I was biting back another laugh. "Elle and Martha? Dannsair is staying," I shot the golden animal a look. "On the balcony. As long as she promises not to touch or say anything." I took all three of them in at once. "Agreed?"

The muttered their agreement, if somewhat reluctantly.

Elle was the first to turn, with both hands on hips and say. "Well, what colors did you have in mind Queen Lucy?"

I stepped past the older woman and surveyed the monstrous stack with a small grimace. I gingerly reached for a pale pink one and laid it to the side. "Everyone will be wearing pink." Was my only comment, more because it wasn't my favorite color, than because I was worried that someone else might be wearing it.

The two women spoke at once about this. "Quite right, quite right. The dress we design for the ball must be," Martha flung out her arms in a grand gesture. "Extraordinary!" Her gesture that of an artist and I, her masterpiece. Or at least my dress, anyway.

Another hour slowly went by and four of my dresses were chosen.

One would be red, like that of a rose in full bloom, black trimmed the bodice at the edges and fell down the back of the dress like a veil. It would give it a sophisticated look that the other three of my day dresses did not have.

The second dress would be a lighter green blue color that was by far the most playful, childlike of the dresses. Lace of the same colors on the bodice and curving stitching around the hemline.

The third of my soon to be dresses was lavender, a pretty dress with short sleeves and a ribbed bodice. It had white trim around the neckline and some stitching in a sort of V down the front of the skirt. This particular dress would make me look cute if nothing else. At least that's what Elle said.

The last of my day dresses was to be a beautifully white concoction that I was certain I would dirty so easily that it wasn't worth making. This one was to have the outer edges of the sleeves just brushing my wrists and the inside would just touch my inner forearms. The bodice would be embroidered with flowers and designs of the colors of the rainbow curving just underneath the bust. _No doubt to accentuate. _I thought only a little mutinously.

All the while of finishing up my measurements and whatnot I was silently formulating a plan. An escape plan for next week when Caspian was to leave. I would have to slip past my guards at a moment's notice so I had to be prepared.

I could not decide how I should follow him and his men though. Should I take Dannsair? I didn't want her in anymore danger. Could I borrow a horse from the stables without getting caught? Should I go on foot? I crossed the last option out right away for I guessed that Caspian and his men would be moving as quickly as they could and I wouldn't be able to keep pace with them on foot.

Dannsair spoke, breaking me out of my muddled plans. "Lucy! Come here for a moment." She hissed in a loud whisper.

My brow furrowed at her and I glanced to Elle and Martha to make sure they were not looking my way. They were deep in discussion about my ball gown. I took advantage of that and darted over to the winged horse's side. "What's the matter?"

She peeked over my shoulder to make sure I was the only one listening. "I heard something in the stables last night." She said hurriedly and I felt my curiosity rise like that of a phoenix soaring in the wind.

"What did you hear?"

"Destrier told me that Caspian is uneasy about something. That his men are at unrest, spooked about something." She replied, her pale skin shivering.

"But what exactly?" I questioned. "Or is it just this whole situation?"

"Destrier seems to think that they're going to do something." Dannsair replied in a hushed whisper. "Something rash."

I frowned, my forehead creasing. "Rash is not a word I would use to describe Caspian." And then remembering the attack he and Peter had put forth against his uncle, I added. "At least not anymore."

Dannsair gave a noncommittal wave of her head.

"Any idea what they might be planning?" I asked further.

"Queen Lucy." Elle appeared at my elbow. "We need to discuss your ball gown." She tugged at my arm. "We must make you so beautiful that no man can resist you." She gave a chuckle. "Especially one in particular."

My eyes widened at the sudden switch of topics. "Don't-"

Martha, the dressmaker, spoke over me. "Oh? And who might this lucky young man be? A Lord at the very least I'm sure."

_A King actually. _Went traitorous thoughts that I promptly shoved away. "I'm not sure what you mean." I said it, addressing Elle.

"Oh, come now." She answered back. "Look me in the eye and tell me King Caspian is not the most handsome man you've ever laid eyes on."

"What does thinking he's handsome have to do with anything?" I said stubbornly. "Surely he is a handsome man but what does that have to do with me?"

Elle covered a smile with her hand. "Well, I suppose you'll just have to wait and see what I mean at the ball."

"I suppose I will." I replied, refusing to acknowledge her true meaning.

The dressmaker spoke up. "Well, if you will not speak of His Majesty, then how about His Lord Marquise. I've heard you and he have quite the..." She trailed off at my blank expression.

"Who is Lord Marquise?" I asked, shooting a glance to Elle who had turned her head to cover another grin. _What did you do? _I wanted to ask.

Martha held a hand to her ample bosom. "Surely you must know him, he is at least the second most handsome man in the castle's court. With the first being King Caspian, of course."

My face was etched with puzzlement and my lips twisted in bewilderment. "Can someone please explain to me whom we speak of? I don't know a Lord Marquise."

The dressmaker looked shocked and it was Dannsair who had to answer me. "I assume you don't know him by his title but rather his name," She paused, making me squirm with impatience. "Lord James Marquise."

My mouth dropped open, dumbfounded. I wasn't even sure why. It really shouldn't have been any great surprise. His arrogance, his dismissal of me so easily, completely sure of his self and his actions. He had to have some sort of standing to dare and speak so boldly and pompously as he had to me.

I shut my mouth and blinked slowly. "Why, yes, it does appear that I know James."

The dressmaker clapped her hands with enthusiasm. "Is he not a handsome man then? A most eligible catch if there ever was one."

I wrinkled my nose and thought about that. James was blonde, a dark blonde, curling at the edges. His cold eyes a silver blue. Tall in height, a strong young man, but not one accustomed to having to do labor and not used to being told no. I assumed anyway. _To some he would be handsome, _I thought silently. _His eyes are the only thing that I do not...favor. _It seemed to me that if he pinned you with that gaze you would be frozen for all eternity.

Someone, Martha, I saw, prodded me with her sharp elbow. "Well?"

"A most...favorable young man, indeed, I suppose." I admitted with no small bit of reluctance. I stepped closer to the pile of cloth that still sat on my bed and started pushing fabric aside as Elle and Martha were. And knowing that they were looking at me for more of an answer I said. "He is a very," I picked up a swatch of silk and chose my words carefully. You do not rule a land and not learn a thing or two about watching your words. "Opinionated man, intriguing, perhaps."

The dressmaker nodded her head at least a dozen times. "Yes, yes he most certainly seems that way!"

I raised blue velvet up to hide my face and the smirk that covered my lips. _That was not really supposed to be a compliment. _Elle caught my grin and wagged a finger at me sternly but a smile was evident in her eyes.

I forced my smile down a bit and picked up a fabric that caught my eye. It was a bronze, golden color. I pursed my lips, it reminded me of Caspian when his eyes reflected golden brown in the sun. I tilted my head; it was like that of the lighter tones that run through a tiger's eye stone. _But will it make a good color for a dress? _It was a strange color really and I wasn't certain it would be fine on its own. I glanced back to the pile and saw a bag lying on the floor at my feet. I reached and flipped it open.

My eyes saw a true gold fabric peeking out, wanting for the sun. I did not think, just clutched it in one hand and pulled it out. "How about this?" I held it up next to the bronze fabric.

Both women and horse fell silent.

"What?" I demanded, confused.

"That's it, its perfect." Elle smiled fondly at me. "An excellent choice."

The other two nodded as well and Martha said proudly. "That's the newest fabric I'm trying and you will be the first to try it. It's a very fine and lightweight cloth."

A knock at the door interrupted the woman and I moved to open it. Cracking it since I was still in only my dressing gown. I peeked out and into a broad chest; I raised my eyes a bit further to look into the eyes I'd been thinking about just a moment before.

He smiled at me. "Am I interrupting something?"

I shook my head, feeling my hair swish about my shoulders. "We just finished choosing the fabric for my ball gown."

He raised a teasing brow. "Is that so? Do I get to see it?" He put his hand on the door beside where my cheek poked out, his fingertips grazing my skin. I resisted an urge to lean into that touch and gave him a teasing smile in return.

"No."

His expression turned to a mockingly offended look. "Why not?"

"You have to wait until the ball like everyone else."

His lips curved at the edges into an almost petulant purse of the lips and my cheeks warmed. It made him look younger, more like a boy. "Is that so? Perhaps I'll get it out of you if you want to come with me." And then he switched midsentence. "You know it would be easier to talk if you came out here or let me in."

I reddened. "I can't come out right now." I mumbled. "Now where is it that you want me to go?"

"I'm going to see if James is home and see about that arrow. I could not find it anywhere in my study. And I suspected you might want to come along if I went."

He hadn't already gone? And he wanted me to come? I gave him a hurried nod, even though I wanted to give him an ecstatic hug. "Give me just a moment." I ordered. "Stay there." I shut the door in his face, biting my lip on a giggle at the wide eyed look he had as I closed it and turned around slowly.

I looked into three different faces that, roughly, had the same expressions. It was Elle who dared to ask.

"Who was that, my dear?"

I strode past the two women and picked up my dress that I'd carelessly thrown aside earlier. I did not want to lie but neither did I want both women to have my business all over the castle and half of town that I was going somewhere with Caspian by tonight. Elle most likely wouldn't, but between the two women they were likely to turn it into some scandalous affair.

Despite that, I said anyway. "King Caspian. I need to go see to something." I saw the two women exchanged all-knowing looks and in a few moments I was fully dressed again and Elle was trying to convince me to let her wrangle my hair into some kind of semblance of neatness. I pushed her hands away from me firmly.

"I am leaving now. Save it for the ball if you must!"

"But-" Elle argued.

"Why don't-" The dressmaker tried to stop me.

"No!" I waved them back and gave the dressmaker a nod. "Thank you for taking time to come today, I look forward to seeing all of the dresses. And take your time!" I called over a shoulder as I shoved out the door like I was being chased.

Caspian was waiting a little ways down the hall and he grinned at me when I walked out. Or ran, rather. He pushed off the wall he was leaning on and offered me his arm, which I took. One small glance at him made his words reverberate through my head. A promise of sorts. _I think we need to finish that...conversation later. _I hurriedly spoke before he could say anything.

"Where is James?"

We walked on and were to the top of the stair before he answered. "He left late yesterday on business and was supposed to be back today sometime. I'm hoping he's already made it."

"What sort of business?" I questioned quizzically and Caspian chuckled.

"I don't know. James doesn't have to report to me everything he does."

_And yet he expects it of you. _I thought condescendingly but did not say. "So what do you think this arrow has to do with anything?" I switched tactics easily.

Caspian looked ahead of us as we crossed into the hallway and headed towards a side door to exit the castle. "I'm not sure. I thought maybe if we could see what type of arrow it is, it might give us some clue as to who we're dealing with."

My lips twisted in consideration. "That makes sense, I suppose." I said aloud. "But I don't believe, with as secretive their being, I don't think they'd be so foolish as to reveal themselves so easily as an arrow."

I felt Caspian studying me as I spoke. "I agree," He said. "But is it not worth trying? Even they have to make mistakes."

I nodded in agreement. "Of course it is and I sincerely hope your right." I grimaced at the door Caspian reached to open. "This needs to end." And then as I had him talking for once, I asked. "What do you suppose the symbol they use means? The one on the note and the-" I stopped; I had completely forgotten the pendant the woman had carried. I reached into the single pocket I had in this dress, searching for it. I'd put it somewhere this morning.

"And the what?" Caspian questioned me, his tone held a little edge, reminding me of his promise that I could trust him.

My fingers touched cool, smooth stone of the coin like pendant and I pulled it out. "This. The woman from yesterday wore it. The symbol is that of the note." I was careful to say note and not note_s. _I did not want him to know I'd been in his things and that I'd gotten a note as well.

Caspian heaved a sigh as we crossed the courtyard and headed in the direction of the stables. The dreary day still held the promise of rain later on and made me cross my arms over my chest and hug myself. "I guess that means that you don't know either?" I frowned in displeasure though I knew it wasn't his fault.

"If you have any suggestions or would like to reveal any of your secrets, I'd love to hear them." He remarked and we both fell silent, lost in our own individual thoughts.

We entered the stables before I spoke again, this time in curiosity. "Is it so far that we have to ride?" I wasn't complaining but I did not want to be out when the storm hit and James had spent so much time lurking around in the shadows I had just naturally assumed that he spent his days lodging with Caspian's men down across the training grounds.

Caspian looked over at me. "His family's home is out in the country outside of Calormen. It's about half an hour away."

And this is where I got suspicious and came to a stop in the middle of the stable; a stable hand dodged around me and tossed me a smile. "Is the arrow the _only _reason we're going?"

Caspian took no notice of my stopping and walked on, coming to a stop in front of a stable door and pulling it open before replying. "I do have something else I need to attend to but mainly to see the arrow." His head appeared over the stable door and he flashed me a quick smile. "And I can show you some of Calormen along the way."

My heart pounded faster against my ribcage and I looked to see his expression again but his back was turned to me. Barely a moment passed and he led a beautiful gray mare out of her stall.

I followed him with my eyes and did not move. "What sort of something else do you need to attend to?" I asked curiously and suspiciously, though I tried to keep the suspicion out of my voice." I half expected him to wave me off in irritation of all my questions. Instead he winked at me mysteriously.

"Some..._preparations_ for your ball." He said, emphasizing the one word.

My suspicions evaporated and I grinned. "What sort of preparations?"

He turned away to swing a saddle on the horse's back. "You'll have to wait and see like everyone else." He smirked, turning my own words back on me.

I scowled disdainfully. "That's not fair."

He tossed the reins of the gray mare's bridle over a hook and tied a loose knot. "Hmmm," Was all he said and I rolled my eyes at his obvious attempt to bait me.

"Hmmm what?" I grumbled playfully.

"I suppose I might consider telling you if you tell me about your dress." He suggested as if it were an offhanded thought. He disappeared into a second stall and I peeked over the top, my nose just clearing the top.

"So its blackmail is it? And I can saddle my own horse, you know."

He stood and faced me at the stable door, smiling temptingly. "Not blackmail, Lu," He grasped a new horse's lead rope in one hand and pushed open the stall door and leading a gelding out. "Persuasion." He offered me the horse's rope to hold. "And I know you can, I just thought I could do it for you this once." He hefted the saddle effortlessly onto the bay's back. And I took the bridle he held in one hand, flipping it into the correct position to slip it on the geldings head.

"Its gold," I started. "But it will have darker shades of bronze around the waist. That's all I'll tell you. Now tell me about these preparations" I snapped the piece of leather into place over the gelding's ears.

As I finished fastening it Caspian's arms went around my waist from behind and he pulled me back into him, whispering in my ear.

"I said I _might_ consider telling you." He swung me off the ground and onto the bay gelding's broad back.

I wrinkled my nose at him. "Well that's not very nice." I said as my stomach fluttered from his touch.

He handed me my reins with another grin. "You'll see later today. An old friend is coming to your ball."

He swung up onto the gray mare. "We're going to invite them; I thought you might like to see another familiar face."

_I rather like the one I'm seeing now. _I sighed and pulled my horses head around gently, nudging him to follow Caspian's horse out of the stables. "Let's get on with it then."

We trotted out and I spoke, this time reluctant to start another troubling conversation again. "Caspian, why do you think someone stole Peter's sword? What do you think the point was? Just a distraction? There could have been so many things to distract us, so why that?"

The handsome King cocked his head to the side as he contemplated my questions. "Assuming its the same persons who're leaving the notes then perhaps just to get a further rise out of us. Or try to anyway."

I glared at the stormy gray sky, taking my anger out on it. "A poor joke." I remarked angrily. My brother's sword was a pride to him and it was special. At least to me it was. Just as my daggers had been to me and Susan's dresses to her.

"Of course, but nothing else has been stolen so-" He halted as I shook my head slowly at him, a realization coming to me.

"Not entirely, my daggers are gone, remember? And," I thought back to the moment I'd opened my sister's trunk at Cair Paravel and wondered if Caspian had been the one to remove her things. I watched him closely as I finished. "Susan's things were gone at Cair Paravel when I first arrived."

My words grabbed his attention. "Really? What could someone stand to gain, stealing you and your sibling's things?"

"Except Edmunds." I corrected. "And I truly don't know other than as you said and whoever this is, is trying to get more of a reaction out of..._me?" _I said the last word as a question. "Why would I be the one they wanted to get a reaction out of? That would mean I'd have to know who they were, right?" I was thinking out aloud.

As if sensing my confusion and discomfort, Caspian pulled his mount closer. His leg brushed mine and before he could say anything I asked softly. "Caspian, have your men found out anything about Edwin?"

There was a dense silence between us. So long that I twisted in my saddle to face him. His face was blank giving me an answer I never wanted to hear. My hands trembled on the reins a little as I waited.

"My men," He paused choosing his words. "I'm sorry Lu, they've seen nothing. Every trail we had is gone, we've-" He stopped and gave me a worried look.

"Tell me." I ordered determinedly.

"We have no idea where they could be heading. The trails have disappeared. There's...nothing." He said it as if he couldn't quite believe it.

I blinked at not entirely unexpected tears and looked away, facing forward again and gazing hard at the trees that lined the streets as we came into town. "This is my fault." I said it out loud without meaning to and Caspian immediately pulled even with me on his horse and reached to grab my reins, pulling my horse to a stop.

"You can't think that this is your fault?" It came as a question, his disbelief that I was blaming myself made me grind my teeth together before saying.

"It is the truth, isn't it?"

His strong hand dropped my reins and he grasped my shoulder sternly. "No, no it isn't. None of this is your fault. Look at me Lu." He ordered me.

I stared into his unsettling eyes wondering how he could say that and make me want to believe it, even when I didn't. Neither of us looked away, him unwilling for me to believe anything but what he said and me wanting to believe him.

Someone cleared their throat from behind us and we looked away at the same instant. Philip, one of my regular guards, sat amount a steel colored horse, looking embarrassed. And I felt a small smile find its way to my lips as I thought of earlier and the escapade in my room.

He said. "I apologize for interrupting but the lady wouldn't leave me be until I had word of whether or not Your Majesties will be dining at the castle tonight."

I cast quizzical eyes at Caspian as he said. "Elle," To me and to Philip. "I think we might be having dinner at James. Just tell her she can have the rest of the day off. Surely she'll leave you be then."

"Not likely." Philip muttered under his breath and turned back around, offering me a small smile and a respectful nod. I did not think he would say anything to me but he glanced back like it was a passing thought. "Good day, My Lady, I look forward to your next visit to the training grounds. I'll show you a way to win against King Caspian," He winked. "I know his tricks."

I kept a straight face as I replied. "Oh, that was just a bit of fun. I _let_ him win." I teased.

I heard the older man laugh heartily as he walked his horse back in the direction of the castle's gates.

I looked sideways at Caspian for I knew he was gazing at me. "Let me win?" He asked. Eyebrows raised.

I raised my eyes to the sky. "Let's just go on, I want to meet this old friend of mine. Also," I scowled at him. "Why are we eating dinner at James?"

Caspian's horse kept stride with mine. "I said might." He looked forward, not at me as he asked. "Why do you dislike him so much?"

"Who said I disliked him?" Caspian gave me a look. "I just don't...trust him." I explained quickly.

I saw no surprise in Caspian's movements or on his face as we rode through the streets of Calormen. Children darted in and out, between our horses and under them. They wove amongst carts, making me wince inwardly as they were hardly missed by both horses and large wheels.

And Caspian said. "I hardly expected you too." His sentence spoke volumes more.

Things like why would I trust James when I didn't even trust him? I bit my tongue on a sharp reply, no need to cause another rift between us.

After that we both were quiet and it was near to an hour that we rode down a winding path and came to a stop in front of a large home.

It was of the simplest, but finest kind. A two story, white house with flowers blooming on either side of the steps that led onto a covered porch. I had not quite expected such a simple house from what I knew of James. I had expected one of marble and elaborate gates, finely shaded glass windows.

Either way Caspian dismounted and dropped the reins of his horse, patting the grey mare's neck and saying. "Stay close my friend."

My head jerked with surprise and I stared at my own horse's short black mane. "Do you speak friend?" I asked stroking the horse's withers. I had been riding a talking horse and not known, it was kind of ridiculous.

The bay I was riding's head swung about and he looked at me with light eyes. "Y- Yes, Queen Lucy." The horse's voice was young and trembled slightly.

I patted him some more. "What's wrong?" I asked for I did not wish him to be frightened even though we had only just met.

The gelding shivered underneath me but with delight, I realized, and not fear. "Oh, nothing, my lady! Its su- such an ho- honor to carry you on m- m- my b- b- back! Pardon my forwardness, My Lady."

My heart twisted a little as the horse stuttered nervously, I did not feel I was worthy of such honor as the horse would happily bestow upon me. I slipped my leg over his withers so I could get off. "You have no need to be nervous. I am-," I frowned a little. "I am thankful for you letting me ride on your back." I saw Caspian turn from his horse and start towards me to help me down and I murmured to the horse. "What is your name friend?" Caspian was watching my exchange with my horse with a funny expression.

The horse's head arched as he ducked it until his black nose was almost touching his chest. "Everyone calls me Sparrow, Queen Lucy."

Caspian spoke then with a gentle scowl. "It is an honor among the horses to earn a name when they become a certain age and until then they have a nickname. Sometimes the horses choose names that fit one's personality." He wrapped his hands on my waist and I slipped into his arms as I touched the ground. Caspian whispered in my ear. "And sometimes the other horses are mean about the names, especially of the younger ones who have no name yet. Sparrow, I fear, is not used to sticking up for his self."

I was outright frowning in annoyance now. "And why is this exactly? Why hasn't Sparrow gotten a name?"

The horse's ears flicked dismally as he heard my words though I surely hadn't meant for him too. "Because, Q- Queen Lucy I am the one not w- worthy of a name, or carrying you on my b- back."

His sad words wrenched at my heart and I had inkling in the back of my mind all of a sudden, my heart lifting as I realized that my need for transportation when Caspian left and I followed could be solved very easily as Dannsair would be too conspicuous. Sparrow could ride me and would get the name and honor I was sure he deserved. I could at least give him that.

I smiled a secretive sort of grin. "Are you fast my friend?" I asked, refusing to use his nickname.

The horse looked wary of my change of subject but stuttered an answer. "I am n- n- not sure my- my lady. I do not run all that much." _This can be fixed. _I thought smilingly.

"Well then how would you like to..." I thought for a second and Caspian cut in.

"How about a race back to the castle? We'll see just how fast we can go." He tossed a smirk my way. "And don't _let_ me win this time."

I nodded in a hurry as I saw a skeptical expression on the horse's meek face. I moved out of Caspian's arms, no matter how welcome they seemed and put my hand under the gelding's chin, cupping it gently in both hands. "Will you try it for me? Please?" I made him meet my blue eyes and he wavered, looking away bashfully.

"Well...okay." He muttered just above a whisper.

I nodded gently and leaned down to kiss his nose. "It will be fun!" If a horse could blush, he did. And he shivered all over again nervously.

"I- thank you My Lady." He murmured.

"You can call me Lucy."

Caspian touched my arm and said. "Let's go in now, Lu."

I nodded my head in inclination and patted the horse goodbye. "I'll be back soon and perhaps I can get you a treat of some kind." I promised.

~X~X~X~

Caspian held out his hand for me and I'm afraid to say that I stared at it for a long moment before realizing that he was not offering me his arm, but his hand. _To hold my hand. _It was such a sweet gesture. I put my hand in his and felt his stronger, larger fingers close over mine.

I felt red in the face as we walked on hand in hand and up to the door. He knocked and whilst we waited he said. "I was hoping that would happen."

I blinked away the sensation his hand had caused and tried to think, had I missed something? I ventured a guess and asked. "What would happen?"

He squeezed my hand. "Sparrow. I wanted him to meet you. I thought you might be able to help him."

I felt my heart swell with pride at his compliment. "I am going to do my best. He's a sweet horse."

Caspian nodded his dark head in agreement but had no chance to say anything more as the large door swung open. For the first time I actually looked at the engraving on the front as a woman smiled and gestured us in.

_It's a lion's head. _I said to myself, almost disbelievingly. James was continuously going to shock me at every turn it would seem.

I smiled fondly as I saw a vivid picture of the real Lion in my head and I felt a pang in my chest that for the weeks I'd been in Narnia, I had not seen Him.

Mr. Tumnus' words played in my head coinciding with the thought as they always did when I thought like that. 'He is not a tame Lion.' He'd once said. It had been thousands of years since that day and my being here suddenly felt very bittersweet.

Without my brothers or sister, without Eustace. I shook my head to rid my head of such dismal thinking and followed Caspian as he led me behind the woman. The woman was quite elegant, I thought. Dressed finely but she didn't seem uppity.

She opened a door not far into the house and gestured Caspian and I in.

"Oh my, King Caspian I was not expecting you or I would have prepared something more for dinner!" She exclaimed, sounding fussy. "Please, make yourself at home," and as if seeing me for the first time. "Oh dear me!" She came to a stunned stop right in front of me. "So those rumors were true?" She said it like she was speaking to someone else or to herself. She dropped into a deep curtsy, dropping nearly to her knees. "It is truly...an honor to be graced with your presence in my home. If you wish anything just ask, Queen Lucy."

I shifted almost uncomfortably under the woman's obvious praise. "Please, you do not have to do anything for me. It is a pleasure to be here and welcome in your home."

"Aunt Alina!" A voice nearly cut me off short. We heard rapid steps and then the voice once more. "Aunt Alina? Where are you? I thought I heard-" _Her voice sounds very familiar. But who would- _Before I could even finish the question a young woman came to a stop in the doorway of the parlor we'd been seated in.

A young woman that was indeed, not only familiar, but quite a shocking surprise to see.

The young woman's eyes fell upon Caspian less than a moment later and she gave a cry of delight. "Your Majesty!" And she flew into the room to slide her arms about him in a grand hug.

"Lilliandril."

"Lilliandril." Caspian and I both said it but his was with a lot less animosity that my whispering her name was said with. I bit down on my lip hard, tasting blood. I tried to get rid of the irritation I felt as she tightened her arms on him, one hand resting on his neck comfortably.

My cheeks reddened in annoyance and I forced my eyes away as he returned the hug. I had never before in my life wanted to growl but seeing the comfortable gesture between the two...well, it did not reinforce any inclinations he might have given if he had feelings for me.

_'Aslan forgive me.' _I couldn't help thinking for I knew I should not be angry with someone because of...jealousy. _Am I jealous? _I felt incredulity at the description.

The hug between Caspian and Lilliandril did not last but for mere seconds and when she stepped away from him her clear eyes landed on me. Her pretty lips turned into a graceful smile. "Queen Lucy! It is a pleasure, and a surprise to see you once more."

I saw nothing but kindness in her eyes and felt guilty for the animosity I held against her. So I tried to make up for it. "It is good to see you again as well. How have you been?" I reached to give her a quick hug, which she returned. _Though not nearly as enthusiastically as she did Caspian's hug._

"Oh, I've been busy. I've been given the task of helping ships. Whenever there's a storm at sea I'm to help guide them to safety." She smiled sweetly to herself. "Why, I'm surprised Caspian did not tell you. He asked me to do it after I helped you months ago."

I glanced Caspian's way but he answered before I had a chance to. "Lucy's just arrived scarcely a couple of weeks ago, and we've both been busy with...everything."

Lilliandril turned prettily to watch both of us. "Well you're both here now so why don't we just all sit down and have a nice long talk. It's been such a long while since I've seen the both of you."

The woman who'd led us into the room said. "I'll leave you then to catch up, I'll be calling you to supper in a bit though," She winked at me. "You look hungry lass."

The woman's smile was contagious and I found myself grinning despite my irritation at Lilliandril presence. "I'm sure it'll be lovely."

As the woman left I turned to Caspian with true curiosity. "I thought we were going to James'?"

Lilliandril spoke before Caspian could say anything. "You know my cousin?"

"James is your cousin?" _That's certainly unexpected. _I thought with incredulity.

Caspian answered. "James is human by birth; both of his parents are human. Ramandu married a star whilst his sister married a Duke who is a member of the castle's court. "

My head only spun a little at the family connections he spoke of. That explained James' title, but it was still a strange thing indeed to think of the star and the arrogant young man as cousins. _However, that's what everyone would think of you and Eustace. _I thought and it was a fair point. Eustace had vastly changed though.

The star let out a high tinkling laugh and waved her hands in the air. "Please, enough about me, how is your brother and cousin, Lucy?"

"Both are fine, Eustace has changed a lot. He and Ed have been getting into mischief." I smiled as I thought of the pair, now good friends, causing a ruckus in town with the other boys over some silly thing or another.

"How are Peter and Susan?" It was not Lilliandril who asked this but Caspian. It was the first time he had broached the subject and I didn't answer right away.

Lilliandril spoke to cover my silent reply. "Yes, yes, I'm sure they are. Edmund had the sort of look about him that I'd watch out for."

It was an apt description of my brother but I didn't like it coming from someone like that, it made him sound bad. Like they were remembering, or thinking about the mistakes he'd once made a long, long time ago. But she hadn't meant it like that, I was sure, so I bit back an immediate snap and settled for complacently answering Caspian's question.

"Peter is..." I saw the faraway look in his eyes in my mind sorrowfully. "Peter's good. He's been at war a lot. I haven't seen him much." I said trying to soften my clipped tone. "And Su, she's," The night of our argument wasn't easy to forget. "She's well respected in society." It was the only thing I could think of to say about my sister at that moment. "She is invited to a dance every week." _On the arms of the most eligible men in America. _I wanted to say just to see what reaction it would cause, but I did not.

"That's simply wonderful!" Lilliandril exclaimed though she did not know my sister. "How very exciting, I suppose she meets the handsomest of men at these dances. And do you go to dances every week as well? All the men must think you very pretty."

I saw Caspian's jaw twitch as Lilliandril spoke. "Yes, I suppose she does." I said, trying to watch Caspian unobviously.

"And you?" Lilliandril voiced her question a second time adding. "Do you have a beau yet? When I was your age I absolutely loved meeting every young man my father would allow me to see!"

"Yes, Lu, do you have a beau?" Caspian said quietly, his voice deeper sounding than usual.

His eyes held mine captive for a moment, willing me to answer. But I did not actually want to admit that I'd never been invited to a dance or had a beau. I straightened my back. _That's ridiculous. "_No," I answered rigidly. "I've not had a beau."

My brow furrowed as I saw Caspian relax almost instantaneously. _What does that mean? _Lilliandril spoke to cover the embarrassment that she'd caused me; her beautifully pale face was sympathetic.

"Well I'm sure that won't last long. Have you anyone you fancy?"

Was the star intent on prying everything out of me on our first visit? _Why not go with the truth? _"Yes, I actually do." I admitted calmly.

The star clapped her hands. "Oh, do tell! He is quite handsome, I'm sure."

I peeked a look at Caspian. And then took another look as I replied to Lilliandril. "Oh, he is the most handsome man I've ever seen. And very kind." Caspian wasn't watching either one of us now, though he appeared to be listening. He was gazing out a window with an angry look in his eyes.

_What's made him angry? _I wondered. A second later the look was gone though, leaving me to further wonder had I imagined it.

"That's perfect; a kind hearted man is the very best." Her eyes wandered to Caspian, I noticed, making me dig my nails into the cushioned chair's arm that I sat in.

"And do you care for someone?" I asked to be polite. Because if her glances were anything to judge by, she did and it was the very same person I just so happened to 'fancy', as she put it.

"Oh," her pale cheeks gained a little color. "I have, I suppose."

Caspian stood from his chair abruptly and the star and I turned to stare. "Will you two ladies excuse me? I've need to see James' study, is that alright?" His tone was carefully controlled but his shoulders looked tense.

_Is he upset that Lilliandril fancies someone? _

Lilliandril and I both stood. "Of course, of course, Caspian. Go on up, it shouldn't be locked." I tried to ignore her use of his name without his title.

"Thank you," He gave a quick bow and left the room. I scowled a little as I'd wanted to go up and explore James' study with him. A missed opportunity to find some things about James. Instead I would be making small talk with the star.

But as it was, the beautiful star raised white shoulders that her dress revealed. "Why let him go alone? Let us follow King Caspian." She suggested, looking flirtatiously after him.

~X~X~X~

The door to James' study stood slightly ajar as we crossed to the room. I waited for Lilliandril to push it open so as not to be rude. And we entered a moment after. Caspian stood rifling in a drawer at a desk across the large space. He looked our way with a chagrined expression that turned quickly into a smile.

Lilliandril walked over to him and smiled. Her flirtatious voice grating on my nerves. I shook my head slightly and walked in the opposite direction, towards another desk and shelves that lined the walls.

I could feel Caspian's eyes on me as I tried to inconspicuously rifle through James' things without it seeming like I was snooping. I ran my hand over the titles of a dozen books with one hand whilst I slid a drawer open with the other, using my body to shield the movement.

I glimpse inside revealed nothing but ink and paper and other various writing paraphernalia. _He wouldn't be so obvious if he was hiding something. _I reminded myself.

"What are you looking for?" Lilliandril voice made me freeze as I was shoving the drawer closed but it was to Caspian to whom she spoke.

There was a pause.

"An arrow." Caspian answered truthfully.

I shot a glare across the room as Lilliandril eyes widened prettily. "An arrow?" She laughed gaily. "Whatever are you looking for an arrow in my cousin's study for?"

"He was the last one who had it." I replied.

"And why is this arrow important?" She questioned Caspian.

I stopped my search of the bookshelf and let my eyes rove over the entire room, slowly and with practiced precision. _Where would James hide something, anything? _

My eyes sought a place that was hidden but in plain sight. My gaze halted on a figurine. It sat on a shelf about middle ways of the shelves, there was nothing strange about it. It was just in plain sight, not really noticeable in any way.

That's what made me give it a second look. As Lilliandril was keeping Caspian occupied with her flirting I strode quickly across the room and raised my hand to touch the small statue.

It was a woman holding her child in one arm and the other arm she stretched out, like she was reaching for something.

I brushed my fingers over the statue's hand. Nothing. I dropped my hand in frustration and glared at the unsuspecting statue. I could hear Lilliandril chatter behind me somewhere but I ignored it. A few of her words reached me anyway. "Reach behind you, it should be there." Thought she was talking to Caspian, it gave me an idea.

_Reach. _I looked at the statue with interest again and looked to the side where the statue was reaching. I touched my fingers to the solid wood of the back of the shelf. My fingers sliding into a bump. I pulled on it a little and watched with satisfaction as a compartment fell open. It was roughly the size of my hand, perhaps a bit bigger.

And there was something in the compartment. I closed my hand over the contents and shoved the compartment closed so I wouldn't be caught. Clutching a paper and something cool in my palm I turned my back again and shielded my hand from Caspian and the star.

I opened my palm carefully and gave a smug little look to the contents of the compartment. A ring, just like Caspian's and Thomas' glinted in the faint sunlight that shone in from the one large window of the room. _I knew it. _

I slipped the ring into my other hand and opened the paper.

It only held four words... DO NOT BE LATE. And nothing else. _What could that mean? _I wondered but took no time to ponder, I shoved the paper and ring back into its hiding place and was just pushing the compartment closed when I heard the door of the study creak open.

I swung around and faced an astonished looking James, and he was looking at me with thinly veiled anger. "What's going on here?"

I heard boot steps as Caspian crossed the room. "There you are. I came to ask you something."

James kept his eyes pinned on me. "Ask me what?" I met his cold gaze with an innocent expression.

Lilliandril chirped out. "Caspian says you have an arrow he wants."

_Can you not be quiet? _I demanded of the star silently. "An arrow?" His blonde head was tilted in a defiant sort of way.

"The one I had yesterday, when you carried me inside the castle." I replied determined not to look away from his steely gaze.

"Ah," He said understanding on his face. "I see. I don't have it." He turned and walked over to his desk, sitting down to make himself comfortable. "Did you try looking in your study?" He suggested pleasantly.

"No, of course we didn't." I remarked caustically. "Do you think we're fools?"

"Lucy." Caspian warned and to James. "Are you sure you don't know where it went? Did you see her drop it?"

Right about then is when Lilliandril cut in. "James carried you inside? How romantic of you cousin!"

I pursed my lips and James murmured. "Indeed." He met my eyes once again, though there cold expression was gone for once and in its place one I didn't dare try and define.

I looked away uncomfortably. And there was a brief moment of quiet until the woman Lilliandril had called Aunt Alina, James' mother, appeared in the doorway and announced briskly. "Supper will be ready in just a few minutes, go ahead and get washed up." She cheerfully said pointing at James and Caspian and to me she said. "Lilliandril will take you to her room to clean up."

So, to wash up is where we went.

~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~

Lilliandril had left her room scarcely moments before me and as so I walked into the dining room alone. Caspian was just pulling out a chair for the star and he raised his eyes to me, moving to get mine but James stepped up and said. "Allow me." And he pulled the chair out beside him. I gave the chair a quick glance half expecting some sort of trick.

But I sat and nothing happened. Caspian was seated across from me and Lilliandril beside him and likewise with James and me. Food was served and Aunt Alina joined us soon after.

It was not quiet by any means but no one was saying anything. Aunt Alina was the first to open her mouth and say to me. "It's such an honor to have you here, Queen Lucy. I never dreamed we'd have both you and King Caspian here at our home."

I smiled sincerely. "I am just as honored to be welcome into your home."

The woman propped an elbow on the table so she could rest her chin on her hand. "Would you tell us a story, Queen Lucy? I grew up reading about you and the other Kings and Queen, would you tell us one of your amazing stories?"

"Aunt Alina," Lilliandril's voice took on a faintly scolding tone. "Let Queen Lucy eat."

"Oh, come now, do you mind telling us a story Queen Lucy?" The older woman demanded.

"I'm sure Queen Lucy would rather eat her meal in peace," Lilliandril argued. "James, tell your mother."

"On the contrary," James murmured dryly. "I'd rather like to hear one of these stories. What say you Caspian?" He looked to his friend.

Caspian did not protest. "Tell us a story Lu." He grinned.

I leaned forward in my chair. "Alright then, once," I pretended to think. "Once, over a thousand years ago, a-"

"Wait! Wait!" Aunt Alina said. "Just a moment, let me get dessert and we can have it in the sitting room.

She headed out of the room and was back on moments. "Come," she ordered. "Let's go."

And almost a minute later we were seated in a large room that was by far the grandest of all the rooms I'd seen in the house. Its walls were high and there was a beautiful mahogany colored piano sitting in the very middle of the room, various pieced of furniture sat almost in a disorderly way around it, giving it a comfortable look about it all.

A fire crackled low in the fireplace and accentuated everything in a warm glow. The faint grey light from outside was dreary and the fire brightened everything up.

When everyone had a slice of apple pie and the sweet drink the woman offered us, she gestured at me to start again.

"But what story should I tell?" I asked. There were many it was true but...I wasn't sure which one's I wanted to tell.

James was the one to prod me on. "Which is your favorite?" It wasn't really a strange question to ask but more from the person that struck me odd. James was acting oddly...dare I think it? Sweet.

I gazed at the fire. _What story is my favorite? _I searched the orange flames for an idea, thinking of a time when I'd sat before a cozy fire in a faun's house, eating sardines. I'd met a great friend that day and watched him die as nothing more than a memory because I'd had my place in one world and he in another.

I took a bite of the apple pie James' mother and Lilliandril's aunt had given me on a little plate with roses decorating its edge. I savored the taste on my tongue, the sweetness like that of my memories, bittersweet.

"Over a thousand years ago, a time people would come to call the Golden Age, was about to begin. It all started in a small town called Finchley, my brothers, sister and I lived there in a sweet little home. Little did we know that was all about to change." I cleared my throat. "Dangerous times were ahead, war had already touched all the surrounding towns near us and it was no secret that it wouldn't be long until it reached us.

Our father had already left to fight alongside his countrymen and our mother was planning to send us away where it would be safe, far out in the country, far from the clutches of a war that had claimed thousands of lives already.

The very night before our mother would send us away; men flew overhead, throwing..." I paused and tried to think of a way to word my story so they would understand. "Something rather like cannonballs that destroyed anything they touched..." Fire licked up in the fireplace making the story even more gruesome and I went on to explain how we came to be at a grand house in the country and that it was a simple game of hide and seek that led me into a wardrobe and into a whole other world of possibilities and a land that was at war with itself.

"And that," I smiled fondly awhile later at the memory of my first visit to Narnia. "Is how I came to Narnia and how it all began for my siblings and I."

James pierced me with icy eyes. "What happened after that?"

I turned my gaze to Caspian, who was leant forward in his chair, looking intrigued. It reminded that though he'd heard many stories of my sibling's and my stories but never out of our own mouths. Or with the full details we could give, having actually been there.

I was happy to continue on. It brought back a time when my siblings, though we'd all been so different, we'd ruled as one.

And so I told of miracle's, of Aslan, of the stone table and of war. I spoke of the White Witch and her deceit, but as I saw Caspian's eyes darken when I spoke her name, I knew he was thinking of once when he'd nearly been convinced to help her.

That day Susan had, when she'd seen it whirled around and left angrily. I didn't think it right of her, not to judge so quickly but then if I thought her unfair then I was judging her as well. So I tried not to. But we all make mistakes and I could easily forgive Caspian for his as I had forgiven Edmund, Peter and my sister of countless things. And as I asked the same forgiveness of Aslan and my siblings when I did something wrong.

But when I saw Caspian's eyes darken I carefully avoided mentioning the Witch again. I instead turned to the greater times after the war and of many a night spent out dancing under a full moon with the townspeople and animals.

_They were a happy people. _I grinned as I spoke of those nights and of the years and of the food. I laughed out loud as I told of the animals own dances they'd make up and us humans would try and follow them.

So caught up was I in my own story I was standing and gesturing about with both hands to emphasize what had happened. I even spun in a little dance with my enthusiasm, James jumped up as well, Alina, his mother not far behind.

The older woman laughed a musical sound. "Would you show us, Queen Lucy?"

I looked around in surprise. "I don't know..."

Lilliandril was up and out of her seat in mere seconds. ""Oh, yes, do show us!"

"But I-" I started to protest. Alina was already seated at the piano and placing her fingers on its ivory keys. A lively tune floated out to please our ears and James was in front of me.

"This dance, my Queen?" I gave him a surprised look. _What trick is this? _I wanted to demand but that would have been rude, so I gingerly took the hand he held out for me. From the corner of my eye, I could just see Lilliandril grasp Caspian's hand and pull him up to join us.

My movements were stiff as we moved together and you can count that James noticed. He leaned a bit closer. "Come now, Queen Lucy," He whispered arrogantly. "I don't bite."

My mouth curled in irritation. "Then don't act like it." We swung around in a circle and Alina picked up her tune. I let my feet quicken with the beat and released James with my left hand so I could move more freely. I did not wait to see if he could catch up but moved into one of the fastest dances I knew.

It was true that Susan was more graceful while dancing but I liked to think sometimes that I was more daring.

James came along, keeping up surprisingly well. We wove around the room and it was fun, I'll admit.

Even when I saw Lilliandril and Caspian circling and laughing as well. James and Caspian partway into the tune each swirled us out and we glided into the opposite man's arms. Caspian's smile widened as we took a spin around the room too.

It was a few minutes later that the tune finally slowed to a sweet song for us to catch our breaths. Caspian's hand landed on my waist and I rested my right hand on his chest.

The night a few days ago when I'd had my nightmare evident in my mind. He had been so warm and comforting when I'd been so fearful and cold. And his closeness brought to mind earlier, I could swear that I'd felt the slightest of touches on my lips.

"I had no idea you could dance so well." He whispered in my ear.

My chest rose with a shallow breath at the intimacy of the slow dance. But as things are, the sweet moment had to end. Lilliandril and James both stood near us and I knew she waited for Caspian to ask her to dance. James meanwhile gave his most elegant bow and asked. "May I have the pleasure of this next dance, Queen Lucy?"

For an instant Caspian's hand tightened on mine before he let go. _Why did he do that? _James fingers closed over my own now to pull me close for the dance. I went with reluctance but tried not to show it or the annoyance that bloomed in my chest watching Lilliandril and Caspian dance so close together.

"They make a fine couple, don't they?"

My head jerked to James. "What?" I'm afraid I squeaked it out.

James smiled, but not meanly. "Caspian and Lilliandril, they make a fine pair." He raised a brow. "Do you not agree?"

I stumbled during my next step and he had to lay his hand on my arm to steady me. "Oh, yes, a fine couple." I managed to get out.

"You care for him very much I think." He presumed.

"I- I do, very much. He is a great friend." _Why are you saying all this? _

"My cousin cares for him." He murmured and I looked up into his cool eyes.

"So she does, what does it matter to me James?" James and I slipped into an easy looping dance and I couldn't help sneaking another look at Caspian and the star once more.

"I don't-" We spun away from each other and he waited until we faced each other before he finished. "I don't want to see you get hurt."

"Excuse me?" I asked out loud, my shock unhidden.

He pulled me closer, closer than I had any desire to be with him. His cold eyes were so serious that I stopped from shoving him away.

"I think you need to be more careful."

"Careful of what?" I demanded incredulously.

"Just be careful." He snapped back and I pulled out of his arms, trying to move a wary step away. He softened his tone and we stepped back into the dance. "I just want you to be careful. Can you do that?" He wanted to know.

"I can't promise you anything if I don't know what you're talking about." I replied uneasily.

He gave a small laugh that held no humor, one that told me he wasn't just speaking of Caspian and Lilliandril to be careful of, but of something infinitely more dangerous.

"I don't trust you." Was the first thing to pop out of my mouth.

He smiled almost...regretfully. "I know, but you don't have to trust me to do what I ask."

"I-" I started with uncertainty.

"Lucy." Caspian's voice broke me out of my motionless stance. "Lu, we need to go now if we're to get back before dark and this storm hits."

James dropped his hands away from me and took a step back. I noticed the sky had darkened out the windows across the room. The storm threatening, foreboding. _Kind of like James._

"That's a shame." Lilliandril purred. "You can stay here and wait it out if you like."

Caspian strode forward apologetically. "Thank you, but we really must be back by dark I have some more business to attend to before Lucy's ball."

"Oh, yes! We've heard about it." Lilliandril was quick to say. "Everyone is talking about it; it's going to be the most wonderful affair."

"Lucy and I actually came to invite you, James," He gave James' mother a nod. "And Alina to come."

I shot Caspian a meaningful look, which he did not see. _Lilliandril and James? _I did not wish to be rude though and I gave Alina a true smile. "It would be delightful to have a few familiar faces at the ball."

And I meant it, just so long as James and his queer behavior left me alone and Lilliandril left Caspian be we would all be fine.

"We would be honored." James said and I knew he was looking at me though I did not return the glance.

Caspian bowed to each woman and kissed Alina's hand and then Lilliandril's sweetly. "We look forward to it."

At the gesture and words I simply couldn't keep back a roll of my eyes.

"Here, let us walk you outside." James offered politely and Lilliandril wasted no time following his suggestion. She wound her hands around Caspian's arm and smiled angelically up at him.

James, as he'd probably planned offered me his arm and we followed Caspian and the star out of the house after I'd thanked Alina for her kindness. I forced my eyes anywhere but at him, Caspian or Lilliandril.

We were part of the way to where our horses grazed quietly before he said something.

"Queen Lucy?" He said my name as a question and pulled me to a stop. I had no choice but turn and look at him.

"Yes?" I replied politely. For the very first time since I'd met James, he hesitated.

"What would you do if you...regretted something in your life but didn't believe it was something you could change or...stop?"

I gazed into James' cold blue eyes, trying to understand the expression they held. _Regret, maybe. _I contemplated. _But what on earth could James regret? _James was a man who always seemed quite sure of himself. _Perhaps he's not talking about himself? _I suggested to myself.

"I- I can't be sure of what you mean," I started slowly. "But if I regretted something, I would ask forgiveness for the mistake I'd made and try to undo the wrong if at all possible." I said this softly, careful, for I wasn't sure how open James was to advice, especially from me. And Caspian and Lilliandril both were watching us now.

"Aslan will help you, you just have to ask. Even when you can't stop something. He can." I laid my hand on his arm comfortingly, because for the very first time I felt sympathy for James.

Dropping my hand I stepped closer to Sparrow and grasped the saddle's cantle to boost myself up. James quickly stepped up. "Allow me." He said and placed his hands on my waist to help me up; when I was seated I picked up my reins and eyed the man below me now.

"Why do you ask me these things? You have given no indication that you trust me and I don't think you consider me a friend." I said this both bluntly and carefully.

The young man loosed a short laugh; he raised a hand to place it on top of mine which rested on Sparrow's neck. "I have been told that you are a wise Queen."

It wasn't really an answer to my question but I did not press him, I felt that all he'd told me was all he would.

"Lucy?" Caspian broke my stare away from James to look at the sky. It was darker; a dark gray almost black and lightning could be seen flashing across it in the distance.

"Goodbye James." I said with finality I hoped he wouldn't question.

"Wait." He lifted the hand his still rested on and brought my fingers to his lips. "Do as I say and be careful, Queen Lucy." He murmured against my skin.

I shifted uncomfortably on Sparrow's back at the intimate gesture, unsure of this new James. "Caspian is your friend James," I felt the need to point out. "If you have some problem he will help you if he can."

Almost instantly James' eyes were cool with nonchalance, hooded with anger. "I know." He said.

I pulled my hand away and turned Sparrow, preparing to move but I sent a parting glance to James. "And you do as I say and ask. Just ask Him." I nudged my horse with my knees and he trotted off to stand beside Caspian's mare.

Lilliandril waved prettily. "I'll see you at the ball Queen Lucy." She giggled femininely. "And don't worry; I'll see to it that my cousin is there."

I frowned in confusion, not liking the tone of her voice. "What do you mean?"

Caspian interrupted. "Lu, we need to go." Thunder followed, backing up his statement but the tone of his voice was what made me wave a hand in Lilliandril's general direction and follow him back up the stretch of road heading back to the castle.

As we rode I watched Caspian's back. He swayed smoothly back and forth with the horse's stride but something in his posture was stiff.

"Will you get beside Caspian?" I asked Sparrow.

"O- Of course, M- my Queen." He broke into a wobbly trot that jarred my very insides but I didn't have the heart to try and correct.

"Caspian!" I called to make him slow his horse.

He slowed the mare but did not speak.

"What-" I started.

He cut me off. "What were you and James talking about?"

The odd tone of his voice took me by surprise. "He was asking me about something."

Caspian did not take his eyes from whatever he was staring at so intensely at in front of us. "What was he asking about?"

I continued gazing at his back curiously. "I am truly not at all certain." I answered truthfully.

He glanced to the side but still not at me directly. "I don't understand."

_I'm not sure I do either. _"He said that he'd heard I was a wise Queen," I shrugged. "And he wanted to know my opinion of what I'd do if..." I trailed off still puzzled by all James had said.

"What you would do if...?" He said quizzically, sounding as puzzled as I felt.

I repeated what James had said, except for when he'd told me to be careful. I did not need or want more guards following in my footsteps every moment of the day. "It was all quite strange really." I finished. "Because I rather thought he didn't exactly like me."

Caspian smiled a queer little smile. "Everyone likes you Lu, it just can't be helped."

I attempted a smile in return but it turned into a grimace. Lilliandril's unexpected arrival had somewhat dimmed my happiness of the coming ball. _Why does she have to show up? _I wondered, feeling only a little guilty at the thought. I pushed the unfamiliar feeling away that rose fitfully in my chest.

"Do you want to try and beat me now?" Caspian called out the challenge, pulling me back to the present. `

I brushed the horse's coarse black mane at his withers and muttered quietly. "I think we can beat them." Sparrow snorted uneasily beneath me.

"Lu?" Caspian asked.

I clapped my heels gently to Sparrow's sides. "Now!" I shouted. The horse shied at the noise but weaved back into a straight line as Caspian shouted after me.

"Hey!"

I grasped Sparrow's short black mane to pull myself up out of the saddle a bit to balance. We were moving in a slow canter and I could hear the thundering if Caspian's mare's hooves drawing nearer quickly.

"Come on! Let's see if we can run faster!" I called over the pounding hooves. The horse puffed under me.

"I- I- I don't think I can. I've- I've n- never went that fast before." He stuttered uneasily.

Caspian's mare pulled past us. "You _can _do it! Trust yourself."

The horse was still hesitant. "I- I don't think I c- can!" He wailed in distress and I felt bad for him. I pulled on his reins gently to slow him up a bit.

"Will you trust me then? I have a surprise for you when we get back to the castle." I'd wrapped up the rest of my pie in a napkin.

This got his attention. "I- I suppose I could try."

I felt determined to help the poor horse. "If you cannot trust yourself or me then trust Aslan, he'll give you the courage that I cannot."

"A- Alright!" He surged forward beneath me and into a slow gallop. Caspian was well ahead of us now.

"We can still catch them!" I exclaimed encouragingly, urging him on, feeling as his stride evened out beneath me. We were now racing fairly wildly up behind the gray mare and Caspian. "Go!" I laughed with delight as my hair flew out behind me with the rush of wind and my dress flopped carelessly above my knees. I rose from the saddle and leaned over the gelding's neck. **Da-damp da-dump **the rhythm of his hooves thrilled me and calmed me equally. I loved this. I raised my head a bit to find we now matched Caspian's mare stride for stride. We were also nearing town so I knew we would have to end this soon.

The stretch of open field we'd cut through was thick with wild grass and flowers, trees dotted the landscape as we neared the spot where we'd cross back onto the main road into town.

I glanced at Caspian again and our eyes met for an instant and when I looked back forward my eyes widened in shock as a creek had rose seemingly from the ground. But there was no turning around or stopping, I felt temporarily weightless as we left the ground and I left Sparrow's back.

I gasped and clutched at his mane, his hooves hit the ground a moment later and I jarred back into the saddle, its horn poking me painfully in the ribs. I slid to the side as Sparrow wove around a tree, first to the right and then left. The road was just ahead.

And I was falling. We just broke onto the stretch of dirt when I slipped and hit the ground rolling with a, "Oomph!" I lay still for a second dazed, I think, until Caspian's appeared in my line of vision. "Lucy!" His hands grasped my shoulder. "Are you okay?"

Somewhere nearby I heard Sparrow wail. "I've killed her! I know I have!"

Caspian's eyes were fearful but I couldn't hold back a giggle. "I beat you."

His eyes turned immediately to relief and he moved back so I could raise myself up. "I'm fine," I called for Sparrow's benefit. "I might have a bruise though."

Caspian caught my arm as I rose. "Please don't do that again."

His worried eyes made me stop and stare at him curiously. "I wasn't exactly trying to do that." I replied dryly.

His hand brushed a strand of hair from my cheek. "Just be more careful."

I nodded that I would and he turned to stand by Sparrow so he could help me mount, leaving me to watch and wonder at his behavior.

~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~

I left supper that night smiling pleasantly. Caspian and I had chatted like the friends we'd once been, though it was hard not to think about the kiss we'd almost shared and his parting words still burned promisingly in my ears. My cheeks flushed just thinking of that moment as I wandered sleepily to my bed and slipped into my nightgown.

As I dressed, I prayed. _'Dear Aslan, there are still so many questions that I can't answer. And I'm not sure I understand what I feel for Caspian. _I pulled the silky nightgown over my head. _'I want for Edwin to be safe. I want...' _I trailed off because, not for the first time, I was confused about what I really wanted.

For Caspian to return the feelings I had for him? To be the Queen I was? To have the answers to every confounded question I had?

_'I- I wish to be, not only the Queen, but the woman that you want me to be. To have the wisdom to understand these problems and do something, to have the courage to do it. And to have the kindness and love for not just the ones I care for but to whatever enemy we face.' _I sank to my knees before the window in my room. _'Help me to trust, I don't wish to hurt Caspian but..._' I trailed off uncertain what to say when I wanted to say so much. '_Please help Caspian, help him not doubt his self or his abilities and no matter what keep his faith in You. _

_And please protect little Edwin, give him strength, please.'_

I was unsure of how long I knelt, head bowed, but it was well past midnight when I rose and stretched, arms above my head and yawned, climbing into the soft covers of my bed. Crawling under them, I settled comfortably and slid one hand under my pillow, sighing peacefully. I fell asleep.

When I slowly came awake I couldn't see anything. My heart stilled in my chest briefly before I realized that it was only still dark. _Calm down, Lu. _I ordered myself. Something felt off though. I kept my eyes wide open but eased back into my pillow as if I was going back to sleep. _Someone's in here with me. _I swallowed hard, my mouth dry with barely contained fear.

I searched the blackness for movement but saw nothing. I was just starting to breathe a bit easier, trying to convince myself I'd just had a dream when an unearthly screech sounded from across the room.

_**EEEEAAAHHHHKKKK**_

I bolted from my bed in one swift movement, feet hardly touching the floor as I reached for the door of my room. Light filled the room suddenly and I threw up both arms to shield myself from the brightness. _It was just lightning. _My logical mind spoke out and I sagged in some relief.

The screech echoed again and I lunged for the doorknob. Just as suddenly a swift wind clutched icily at me, enough to blow my nightgown around me and my hair into my eyes, further blinding me to whatever danger might be near.

_Where would wind be coming from? _My panicking mind wanted to know. Lightning struck again followed by a round of thunder. The light revealed that my balcony doors stood wide open. I took a wary step toward them. My breathing came faster as I jumped to grab both handles and jerked the doors closed. I was just closing the latch when a figure stepped in front of me.

My hand shook but I managed to get the latch secure before I reeled back from the terrifying figure that mirrored me through the glass. I nearly loosed a scream as the face watched me, concealed by darkness. Lightning forked behind the figure, the only thing visible to my eyes, the person's blood red lips curving gruesomely.

It took a step back and the sky finally let go of the rain it had held back too long. I stumbled backwards afraid to take my eyes from the doors and bumped into my bed as I kept backing up. I fell back onto it, shivering. _I have to get Caspian. _Something sharp poked my hand on the bed and I jerked my hand away. Another flash of lightning came and went revealing an arrow. I carefully picked it up.

My hands trembled and I did not have to wait for another flash of lightning to know that blood stained its tip. I was up and off my bed again, wrenching open my door in seconds. I raced through dimly lit halls, heading directly to Caspian's room. I pressed a hand to my chest and tried to slow my ragged breathing. The light from the hallway was enough to see by and I looked down, inspecting the arrow.

Gasping involuntarily as I saw its shape. Recognized its design. Caspian had wanted to see it, to see if we could recognize it. The thing was, of every arrow I had seen before the very last I'd expected to see was the one I now held.

And that arrow was that from my sister's bow.

I was too stunned to do anything but lean against Caspian's door and gape at the weapon. _What in Aslan's name? Where would someone have found the arrow? _Where would someone have gotten the arrow? And who'd had it to shoot Dannsair? _Whoever it was, they were in my room. _I shivered, glancing wide eyed down both hallways, making sure they were empty.

In the darkness it wasn't hard to imagine a cloaked figure lurking just out of sight, watching and waiting.

I raised my hand to knock on Caspian's door. _Something has to be done. I need a weapon. _However, before my knuckles rapped on the door I heard the hiss of voices from inside. I almost knocked anyway but the chance to hear any information was too great, even for my fear.

So, I instead slid to the floor, leaning my head and shoulder to the door.

The voices were muffled to my ears. I closed my eyes and I could pick out a few faint words now and then. "Doesn't matter. Go. Don't come. Can't do that." A tangle of words was all that reached me. I was very nearly ready to stand up and knock when footsteps could be heard crossing the floor in Caspian's bedchamber and I could clearly hear.

"She doesn't trust me." _That was certainly unexpected. _I frowned at the door.

"Somehow I don't think she trusts anyone easily." _Are they talking about me? _Slightly aghast I pressed closer to the door. _And what is he doing here?_

"She needs to trust me." Caspian's voice was adamant to James' response.

"I think she does trust you, Caspian, to some extent." James' voice was wry.

"Pardon, I'd forgotten you and Lucy were so close and you knew her better than I." Caspian's voice was harsher than usual and wrought with something I couldn't define.

"Do I detect some jealousy?" James' voice was dangerously close to mocking.

"Don't be ridiculous, I just wondered why she doesn't trust me anymore, or if she ever really did." He left off uncertainly.

James' quick, measured steps crossed the room, nearing the door. "Perhaps you take that trust for granted, my friend. You can't just _expect_ someone to trust you; you have to earn that trust." James' words were in equal parts soft and hard.

There was no answer to that, just. "What did you ask Lucy about today?"

I ground my teeth together. _You aren't supposed to tell him I told you. _

Quiet followed and then a hushed. "Nothing."

Caspian grunted with derision. "If you're going to lie at least come up with something believable."

James' voice was cold when he spoke again. "I was asking her advice on something," and in an obvious attempt to change the subject. "Why don't you just tell her how you feel about...everything?"

His attempt to change the subject made me catch my breath. _How does Caspian really feel about me? _But why would James try and convince Caspian to tell me the truth about everything when he'd been so adamantly against it before?

Caspian was evidently wondering the same. "What has changed your opinion so suddenly? Wasn't it you who suggested I shouldn't in the first place?"

_Yes, James, do tell. _I thought sourly.

"Nothing, but she seems quite..._determined_ to get in trouble anyway, and I think she knows more than we realize. It might be safer if she knew some specifics so she might heed a warning now and then."

_I am not determined to get in trouble! _I thought, outraged at the assumption.

Caspian spoke. Maybe I _should _tell her..." Caspian started and I placed both hands flat against the hard wood and tried to hear every word.

"Hey!" A voice squeaked at me and I jumped, tearing away from the door like it was poison.

"Who is that?" I hissed back to the small voice. I peered anxiously down the hall.

"Down here!" A tiny voice squeaked again.

I crouched back down and stared at a tiny mouse. It was white and had an even tinier pink nose that twitched as it stared at me. And it was also distracting me from Caspian's response.

I put my ear back to the door but could hear nothing of the previous conversation. I bit my lip in annoyance. There was nothing more said.

"Hey!" The tiny mouse squeaked at me once more to get my attention.

"Shhh!" I hissed back, still hoping to hear something.

"Why do you listen to people through a door?" It persisted, scurrying onto my bare leg.

Now, being the Warrior Queen and all I probably shouldn't have reacted to that but as it was, when the mouse crawled onto my skin, especially after being uneasy with the encounter in my room, I had to slap my hand to my mouth to keep a shriek from escaping. I shuddered a little but held out my hand for it to scurry onto my palm.

"Who are you?"

The mouse's pink nose quivered. "My name is Dally! Why are you eavesdropping on King Caspian?"

"I- I was just coming to talk to him."

"On this side of the door?" The mouse squeaked boldly.

I shrugged. "Perhaps I _was_ listening...just a bit." I admitted slowly.

"Oh, oh!" The mouse squeaked with surprise and darted to the end of my finger. "I wasn't expecting you to say it! I thought I was wrong!"

I gave the strange mouse a reassuring smile. "It's alright, I was listening but I meant no harm."

"Oh! You must have your reasons! You don't have to tell me!" I brushed a finger over the mouse's head to try and calm it.

"I apologize if I seem rude but I really must speak with Caspian."

"Of course! Of course!" It squeaked on. "You must!"

I smiled kindly. "Thank you, Dally. It was a pleasure to meet you." The white mouse seemed almost pink as I sat him back down and picked up the arrow I'd accidently dropped when the mouse scared me. Straightening, I raised a hand...

"Wait!" I looked down at the mouse once more.

"Yes, what is it?" I asked a little impatiently, crouching down again.

"I- I- My father told me if I was ever to meet you that- that I should tell you that we mice are everywhere. If you ever need anything, just look for a hole and we'll be there!" It squeaked with pride.

I smiled sincerely at the funny mouse. "I thank you Dally. It would be an honor to accept that offer some time." I leaned down and placed a small kiss on its head. "Thank you, now I must go."

"Goodbye, your Majesty!" It said after me.

This time I actually got to knocking on the door. It opened after only a second. James stood in the doorway.

"Lucy!" He exclaimed looking bewildered. "What are you doing up?" His cool blue eyes dropped down to my wardrobe and he turned his head to avert his gaze away from my nightgown.

"I need to speak with Caspian." I frowned curiously. "And what are you doing here so early? Didn't we already see you once?"

His smile was stiff. "I'm leaving again today and I had to deliver a message to Caspian." His explanation was reasonable but I knew there was something more to the situation than that.

"May I come in?" I asked.

"Oh." He backed way to allow me entrance to the room.

I entered, striding only feet into the room, looking for Caspian. "Where is Caspian?"

James gestured to the closed door on the other side of the room. "He's in the other room dressing; he's riding into town with me on business."

"Why not wait until it's actually light out?" And remembering the downpour from earlier. "And when it's not raining." I pointed out.

"I'm leaving in a couple of hours, so I have to leave early." He said in stride.

"Is it that important?" I fired back.

A deep sigh could be heard. "You ask a lot of questions." Was all he said. I studied him and watched as his eyes lit on my closed fist. "What is that?" He asked suddenly.

I looked down to the arrow I still clutched. He stepped forward to grasp my wrist in one hand and use the other to pry it from my fingers. He held it up when he had it, in his line of vision. "This is the arrow, isn't it? Where did you get it?" He fired the questions at me.

I crossed my arms over my chest not unaware to the fact that I stood in only a nightgown in front of a man. "I want to speak with Caspian." I said firmly.

"I'm not leaving, Your Majesty." He replied dryly, he tapped the arrow with one finger while holding it in front of my nose. "Where did you find this?"

I lunged to snatch it back and the fingers of his other hand quickly closed over mine. I froze and glanced up, my blue eyed gaze meeting his lighter ones.

"Queen Lucy." My title or name, for once, was not a mockery on his lips but sounded almost...sweet...tender?

My brow furrowed with confusion at the unfamiliarity. _What is this? Why is James acting so strangely?_ For whatever reason Dannsair's words on my very first day back in Calormen came to me.

_"Looks like you have an admirer." _She'd said.

I'd brushed it off without a second thought, simply because James hadn't exactly been...friendly. He'd said yesterday. "Be careful." Be careful of what? Of Caspian and Lilliandril? Of him? My stomach twisted unpleasantly with butterflies. Not the kind Caspian gave me but with nervousness I couldn't explain.

He pulled me closer and my eyes widened. His hand landing on my cheek softly. "You are very beautiful, Queen Lucy." He whispered.

My mouth felt dry. I couldn't even open it to protest as his mouth moved to touch my lips. "James." I placed a hand on his chest to stop him. But I wasn't the one who spoke his name. James' hand dropped and he stepped away as I released a shaky breath.

Boots clomped across the floor in a condemning sort of way. "Lu, what are you doing here?" Caspian stood in front of me and his face was...still. That was the only way I could describe it. It was devoid of any emotion, stiff with nothing.

My mind couldn't comprehend his stiffness right at that moment as I was still trying to comprehend what had just happened. _James tried to kiss me! _"I-" I licked my lips. "I woke and found this on my bed." I explained.

Caspian's eyes, when I dared look into them, were so dark that if we'd been standing closer together I could have seen myself reflected in the pools of never-ending black.

"I'll wait outside." James murmured, perhaps wisely as Caspian and I locked eyes in a silent battle, though I wasn't quite sure what that battle was.

As the door closed with a click Caspian looked away. He did not ask for further explanation of the arrow but I told him anyway. Of the person in my room and of them coming in from my balcony.

He nodded, understanding on his face. "You can stay here in my chambers for the rest of the night and I'll send more men up to stand at the door. I'm going into town but I'll be back as soon as I can." He turned without another word and made to leave.

I felt confused. Why was he acting like this? "Caspian?"

He came to a stop but didn't turn to face me. "It's alright now Lu, go back to sleep." His words were meant to be comforting but his tone was distant, aloof. Like he didn't care.

"Caspian I-" I muttered with uncertainty.

"Goodnight Lu." Was all I heard as the door clicked closed a behind him.

Tears rose to my eyes at the dismissal. _'Oh, Aslan what just happened?' _I walked over to Caspian's bed and crawled onto it, feeling scared, but it was an entirely different scared than earlier.

I closed my eyes against a torrent of doubts and questions that threatened.

I sank back, pulling his covers about me, letting, against my better judgment, Caspian's scent lull me into a restless slumber.

~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~

The next day was...honestly...a mess. When I woke, I was sprawled rather comfortably in Caspian's bed. I had no time to replay last night's events in my head as there was a knock on Caspian's door. And then an all too familiar voice of Philip, one of my guards, saying.

"Your Majesty, you have visitors."

I cast a wide eyed glance at the door and pulled myself up, calling out. "Who is it?"

"It's Elle, child, let me in already."

Grimacing, I shoved the blankets aside, not blind to what Susan would have called the impropriety of the situation. I crossed the room, opening the door. Two women came in.

Elle was one and the dressmaker from the previous days was the other.

"Good morning." I said to fill what I was sure would be an awkward silence.

Elle perched one hand on a shapely hip and gave me a sunny smile. "Well it certainly is for you, young miss. I hope you behaved yourself."

I blushed in full. "It was not like that." I replied uselessly, my face a traitor to me, even when nothing had happened.

"Of course not, of course not." She said solemnly, a smile twitching at the corners of her mouth. "But enough of that, we've work to do."

"What?" I asked puzzled. I had only been up a few minutes and already I was confused.

"Why," Martha stepped forward. "Your ball gown, My Lady. We must have it finished by tomorrow."

I stared at the two older women, quite certain they must be addled and lost their wits. "Pardon?"

The women stared back with the same expression I was directing at them. "The ball, Queen Lucy, its tomorrow, we must have your gown ready!"

I blinked confusedly, the ball, to my greatest knowledge was supposed to have been late next week. "It was moved?" I asked not convinced of the change. Caspian would have been the one to change it, but why wouldn't he have told me?

The two women exchanged looks. "His Majesty did not tell you?" Elle asked. I did not have to nod my head for them to know that they were right. "He probably wanted it to be a surprise."

I waved their explanations off with one hand and a nonchalant raise of one shoulder.

As if I didn't care.

But I did.

~X~X~X~

The rest of the day was passed in a fury of organized chaos. Since Caspian was still gone, questions and duties about the ball kept falling unceremoniously into my lap.

I had thus far been refused entry to the grand ballroom eleven times and yet everyone seemed to think asking me about decorations and where they should be placed was perfectly normal, though I couldn't actually _see _any of it.

And then there were my dress preparations. I was constantly being dragged back into my room to slip, what had been made so far, on. I was plucked, pulled, poked, and squawked at by dozens of women.

So by that night when I sat down for my supper alone, it was a welcome and peaceful quiet that greeted me. The more I sat and ate alone though, I had time to think. The more time I had to think, the more my irritation grew.

Caspian's dismissal last night and then his leaving everything to me without even asking first so he could go take care of 'business' with James. _And he couldn't spare a blasted moment to tell me that my own ball is tomorrow? _

By then I was savagely cutting my food and shoving it into my mouth viciously. And it did not help that when I was halfway through my meal that the dining room's main door opened and in waltzed Caspian and his merry men. Including James.

_I guess his business was concluded. _

I delicately placed my fork on my plate silently and placed my hands in my lap like a lady, I batted my eyelashes slowly, prettily, as I looked at each man individually, my eyes landing on Caspian last.

When he spotted me, he gave me a half smile. I offered him a sour one in return and did not take time to revel in the surprise on his face as I promptly stood and tossed my napkin on the table beside my half eaten plate and shoved up gracefully from the table.

I walked with aloofness to match his own as I headed to the door purposefully, I did not turn or glance back just said with a straight back, head held high. "Goodnight gentlemen." And shut the door behind me with a barely audible click and started to make my way to my room and to bed.

_Why was Caspian irritated? _I asked myself a dozen times over. _Did it have to do with that...almost kiss with James? And what of James? Why __**had**__ he tried to kiss me? Why? Did he care for me?_

In my bed I spent precious few minutes of tossing and turning uncomfortably when I pushed the covers back aside and slid out of bed. I went to my wardrobe and started digging into my drawers until I found the clothes Dannsair had promised to try and get for me.

She'd borrowed them from a couple of unsuspecting stable boys and found a few others around. I pulled on a pair of pants and sifted through the four shirts she'd found, I pulled out the loosest one which was a white long sleeve.

If I couldn't sleep then I wasn't going to lay and torture myself with questions. I tossed open my balcony doors, my sister's bow and arrows strapped onto my back for safety.

After last night's incident I knew there were guards posted below my balcony watching carefully.

Still it took me only moments to slip down the tree that stood adjacent to the balcony. I crouched in the branches until the guards turned their backs and dropped to the ground. My feet stealthily picking a path away from the men and to the stable.

I was about to pay Thomas a visit.

~X~X~X~X~X~X~

It took scarce minutes to convince Dannsair to fly me up to Thomas' window and I was calling a quiet. "Thank you!" Not long after as I crouched precariously on the window's ledge. "Come back in about half an hour, please."

The horse snorted sarcastically. "I'll be circling every few minutes in case I have to save you again. Why can't you just ask Caspian to let you see him?"

I scowled through the darkness at her. "Because he won't let me speak with Thomas alone." I snapped.

"Oooh, someone's a bit touchy tonight. Did you and His Highness get into a fight?"

"It wasn't what he said it was what he didn't." I replied. "Now, come pick me up later and I'll tell you what happened...maybe."

"You better." She whickered as she flew away.

I slid my fingernails under the window's sill to pry it up easily. I could not hear, nor see Thomas as I slipped in and onto the window seat below his window. As I placed both feet on the floor a hand closed over my mouth and an arm about my neck.

My reaction was immediate and quick. I brought my elbow back into my attacker's stomach roughly and bit down on the flesh of the hand that covered my mouth.

"Ow!" The hand fell away and I flew about in a circle, one hand holding an arrow without even realizing I'd reached for it and I pointed it at my attacker's chest.

My attackers bare chest.

I blinked in the moonlit darkness and brought my eyes up to find I was threatening to impale the very person I'd come to see.

"Thomas!" I hissed as he simultaneously said.

"Queen Lucy!" His hand landed on my wrist to pull the arrow from my grip. "Do you mind not pointing this at me?"

I snatched at his hand to get it back. "Give it here."

He held it above me. "Promise not to try and poke me with it again." He rubbed a spot on his chest. "I think I might be bleeding.

"If you don't wish to be killed then don't grab me from behind like that, I didn't know it was you!" I exclaimed in protest.

He held it out with a bow and a flourish. "Who else would be in here? And in my defense I had no idea it was you either."

"And who else would be climbing in your window this time of night?" I took the arrow from his hand with a scowl and he took a step back, turning to light a candle.

"My, my, someone's rather irritable tonight." I almost denied it but stopped myself at the last moment, what did it matter? "Hmmm," He said as he lit the candle and it doused us in orange shadow. "You're not going to try and disprove me? Must be serious."

I managed a wry smile at his teasing that didn't quite reach my lips. He turned back to me, looking serious at my expression. "What happened, Your Majesty?"

I shook my head at his use of my title. "Call me Lucy, Thomas."

"Very well, Lucy," He took a step so we were almost touching but not quite. "What's happened? Did you have a fight with His Highness?"

I ignored his mocking tone at Caspian's name. "Why does everyone think that?" I managed but it was rather hard to get out as my eyes fell on his bare chest, my cheeks warmed. I couldn't move my gaze either since he stood right in front of me. I averted my eyes back to his, which was almost worse as his lips curled mischievously.

I glanced away again as I found I couldn't keep a straight face if I continued meeting his gaze. So my eyes were once again on his chest. _A very admirable chest nonetheless_. I bit my lip on a laugh not unable to see the humor of this situation. _Oh how I'd love to hear Susan or Peter's response to this._

Thomas breathed out a chuckle and turned his back again to pull out a drawer and grabbing a shirt. He pulled it over his head before facing me. A smirk evident and revealing a dimple in his cheek I had never noticed. "Will you tell me what happened now?"

I sighed heavily but said nothing. Thomas waited until he was sure I wouldn't answer and said. "What did you come here to ask me?"

Chewing the inside of my lip, I contemplated that. "Nothing, I suppose."

Thomas looked honestly surprised. "A social call is it then?" He replied mock seriously. "I'm afraid I have no tea to offer you."

I did actually have a question; I gave him a quizzical smile. "Do you happen to know a James Marquise? Did you know him back before...?" I halted, unsure if his exile was an open subject between us.

"Ah." Thomas held up a finger. "There it is. I knew you had a question."

I shrugged. "That's not the reason I came. I just thought of it now."

Thomas gestured at me to sit and I sat comfortably back on the window seat. I could not define his expression in the dark even with a candle lit.

"I knew of him." Thomas answered cryptically.

I ran fingers over the seams of the cushion I sat on. "He's part of the group isn't he?" I reached out to grab Thomas' hand, pulling him closer to see that he now wore his ring that I'd returned to him. "He has one of these."

Thomas made no attempt to pull away. "How do you know that?" His tone was suspicious.

I let go of his hand and shifted on the window seat. "I saw it."

"You saw it?" He sat down beside me and grasped both my shoulders. "You were alone with James?" He demanded urgently.

"I was with Caspian." I corrected hastily, wondering what sore spot I'd hit on this time. "What does it matter?"

Thomas glared somewhere past my shoulder angrily. "Do not trust him, Lucy." He made as if he was going to leave and not say anything more. I lunged to grab his arm and keep him where he sat.

"But why? What can you tell me about him?" Thomas never touched me but our eyes connected together, his normally even tempered gaze held anger. I wasn't sure how but seeing that anger, something fell into place in my mind. "You think he did it, don't you?"

"Did what?" He questioned, but his eyes gave him away.

"You think James is the one who had you blamed that night and helped get word that night for Caspian's assassination." I sucked in. "Was there anything to prove it?"

"If there was anything, it's long gone by now and don't you think I would've tried?" His chest rose as he took a deep breath. "It doesn't matter anymore Lucy. Just leave it alone, I've moved on."

"Oh I can see that, which is why you still wear the blasted ring and I can't leave something alone if I believe it to be wrong." I argued truthfully.

He studied me with the same expression every almost every person in my life had looked at me at one point. Condescension. A look that said, _You're just a child, you wouldn't understand. It's beyond your comprehension._

"You're wrong." I replied evenly, shoving off the seat to pace across the room.

"About what?" He questioned stiffly.

"About me." I whispered. "I may look like a child but I wasn't always like this. I may not understand that-"

"No," He cut me off rudely. "You can't understand. You have a family that loves you, friends that care for you, you cannot possibly understand what it was like to watch the people you used to think you knew, watch as their eyes grew cold, to see the regret and disappointment so plain on their faces. And they did nothing but watch as you were led into exile."

His voice was hoarse by then and he cut his self-off before continuing. "They never even tried to prove I was innocent. They never_ tried_. Because they didn't believe it."

Tears burned at my blue eyes as I heard such sorrow in the young man's voice. However much sympathy I felt I was angry as well. And I told him so. "So you push away the one person who does believe in your innocence?" There was a challenge in my words.

Thomas strode over to my side. "You have no reason to believe anything of me Lucy." He gestured around at the room. "You shouldn't be here, do you know what-"

"Yes, yes I do." I cut him off as he had me and said. "You once saved my life back in England. For that I owe you one debt," I touched his arm gently. "And I see it in your eyes that you are innocent."

His looked intensely back at me. "And what else can you tell from my eyes, My Lady?"

I did not have to think about it. "You are a good man, but you lack faith." My blunt statement was followed by silence as he contemplated my response.

"And one might say that you have too much faith, Queen Lucy."

"You can never have too much faith Thomas," I shook my head vehemently. "It's not possible. Not in Aslan."

"Aslan?" I winced at the scorn in his laugh.

"There's something I don't understand," I started questioningly. "You were exiled, but just out of Narnia. How did you get to England?""

Thomas crossed his arms over his chest. "Haven't you gotten enough out of me already?" His face and words were stone like.

I crossed the room in mere steps and was halfway shoving the window open saying. "Goodnight Thomas." when his hands fell on top of mine from behind.

"Don't- Don't go, not yet." I could see a black shape moving closer in the dark as I slid out the window. Thomas' words were dangerously close to a plea. "I'm sorry, Lu." I heard him whisper after me and it made me pause.

Dannsair flew closer and called quietly. "Are you ready?" I hesitated. Thomas wasn't trying to hurt me, he'd had a hard time, but it didn't give him the right to take it out on me. Still, after telling James to ask forgiveness I couldn't bring myself to ignore my own words, so I said.

"No, I'm going to stay a bit longer."

The winged horse snorted. "Is that wise?"

"Most likely not." I answered evenly.

Dannsair lowered herself a little. "When am I to come back for you?

I frowned a little indecisively. "I'm not sure. Perhaps an hour?"

A pause and then she said. "Fine, but you're telling me what happened just as soon as you come back. Even if you get no sleep tonight." She threatened before disappearing again.

I balanced on the edge, my gaze dropping to the roof I'd climbed on the other week. And been shoved off. My stomach clenched at the height. _Was I really up this high? _

"Lucy?" Thomas asked from inside, jarring me from the grim and not at all pleasant memory. I backed into the window, back into the safety of the room. Where I stood beside him once more, I saw him look at me with a torn expression before muttering. "I was sent to England."

"Why?" I murmured carefully.

"I- I think I was sent to..._watch _you. Protect you if it came to that."

I gaped at him, for there wasn't much he could have said that I thought would confound me but that was it. "You _think? _Protect me?"

He raked a hand over his face. "I remember I was wandering from town to town after the exile and then..." He squinted like he was trying to see something but it was just out of reach. "I think I got hit over the head by someone, I'm not sure of that part but after, I saw- I'm not sure what it was. But it was so...beautiful. Pure gold and light. It was perfect and I heard a voice."

"What did it say?" I asked quietly trying to keep him going.

"Wake, my son. I looked around and every time I felt like I might see the light again, it was just out of reach. I couldn't touch it. And I heard the voice again telling me. 'Wake and believe my son, protect her.'

And then I did wake, I was in England." He finished.

"You saw Aslan." The words came out of my mouth with a certainty even when I hadn't been there. The light, the perfection.

Thomas raised a hand noncommittally. "Or I almost saw Aslan."

I watched Thomas in a new light. "Will you tell me what happened after?"

He sat down on the window seat and I sat beside him. "It's a long story."

I shifted, pulling my feet under me to get more comfortable. "I won't give you a moment's peace until you do."

He chuckled dejectedly. "No, I don't suppose you will."

After that time passed rather quickly. An hour went past and it slipped my mind that Dannsair was probably waiting for me. Whenever the conversation between Thomas and I lulled I found I couldn't keep Caspian from my mind. How he'd looked outlined by the moonlight, how he'd cradled me against his chest. His warmth. And then how aloof he'd been the night before and I would get angry all over again.

Thomas told me of how he'd ended up in England, of the man who took him in after a few days on the streets. The man offered him a job at his stable but after only a month Thomas had grown tired of the labor for little of nothing.

After thanking the man and his wife he'd set out on his own. The words 'protect her' kept coming back to him. He'd been enlisted in the army shortly after and met Peter just days after. "And he always read the letters he got from you and Edmund out loud when they came."

I smiled a pang in my chest aching, an old wound. I missed my brothers.

"Peter talked about you a lot. He regretted that you and Edmund had to stay in England when the rest of your family was in America. He once told me his greatest wish was for all of you to be a family again."

A tear traced its way down my cheek. My brother, High King Peter. Cocky, sometimes foolish. _I miss the fool. _Peter's eyes had held such distance when he'd come back. I knew the war had changed him, as it had many. Another droplet followed the other and I closed my eyes against them, to keep them in. They slipped out anyway.

They flicked back open when something brushed my skin. Thomas' hand brushed lightly at the tears. "I'm-"

I pushed at his hand. "Don't apologize. I just miss my brothers." He caught my hand that pushed his away. And placed his other on my cheek. My stomach flipped over with nervousness at how close he was.

And I chose that moment to remember just the first time we'd met, he'd flirted with me and I'd flirted back. He did not move and neither did I. "You're so beautiful." His words made my stomach flutter again but I couldn't help thinking that I wished they'd come from another man.

"I mean that." He whispered. "You're perfect." His eyes were serious.

"I'm not perfect." I objected softly.

His thumb traced my cheek. "Then you're as close to it as anyone can ever be." His sweet words tore into my heart. _Why can't Caspian see me that way?_ "Thank you for helping me."

I shook my head. "I didn't do anything."

He leaned closer. "You did so much more than you know." He pressed forward just a little further and tilted my head up a bit and let his mouth touch mine. I gasped as he pressed a kiss on my lips for a long moment. Pulling away and leaving me confused of the moment. **(Thomas? Oh my gosh. Thomas kissed Lucy? OMG. =D ) **His face held a satisfied grin.

"Thank you." Was all he said and I swallowed hard, his kiss making my stomach swirl. Was that the way a kiss was supposed to make me feel? Neither of us said anything more of that kiss, me because I was confused of it completely and him, well, I wasn't sure.

It wasn't too long after, that we fell into a surprisingly easy conversation that wasn't awkward as it might have been. That conversation went on until I opened my eyes to see the pink-purple of a magnificent sunrise. Blinking out of a dazed stupor and jerking upright.

_I must have dozed off. _Thomas slept propped up against the wall beside me; my head had rested on his shoulder. "Oh my gosh." I said aloud. Where was Dannsair? How could I have fallen _asleep_? It would be a miracle if I could get out Thomas' window without being seen since it was already daylight.

I twisted and peeked out the window. From here I could already see a line of carts and horses, carriages covering the ground everywhere. _Preparing for the ball, no doubt. _

"Lucy?" Thomas straightened beside me groggily.

I spared him a scarce glance. "Its morning! I've got to get out of here!"

"Morning?" He peered out beside me. "What's going on down there?"

I shot him a look thinking he had to be joking until I realized he wouldn't have heard of the ball, having been locked in this room. "There's to be a ball to celebrate my return tonight."

"Truly?" Thomas asked disbelievingly.

"Yes!" I exclaimed. "Now I have got to get out of here!" I shoved at the window.

"Wait!" He hauled me back by the waist. "You'll be seen!"

"Do you have a better idea? I'd love to hear it." I replied sarcastically.

He stopped, actually thinking for a moment. "I'll distract my guards and you hide," He pointed across the room to a small chair. "There, and when they come in, you get out. Quickly."

I started to move that way but he still had a hold of my waist. "What?" I asked exasperated.

"Do I get to come to your ball?"

I gave him an incredulous look but he was perfectly serious. "I'll see what I can do." I said finally.

"Excellent." He grinned. "I look forward to it."

It was such a ridiculous moment that I couldn't help a laugh as I ducked behind the previously appointed chair. The next moment a crash was heard somewhere in the room. The door flew open narrowly missing me as it did and in poured a few guards.

I crouched in place as sounds of a scuffle came from Thomas' direction. And then I ran.

I went out the door and didn't stop running until I passed the guards still stationed outside my door. They shot me confused looks and I offered a bright, sunny smile. "Good morning gentlemen!" I chirped as I shot into my room, shutting the door behind me.

I fell onto my bed breathlessly holding a hand to my stomach and a stitch I'd gotten from the wild dash. As it eased, a little giggle escaped. _That was absolutely insane. _I flipped onto my side and let my eyes close. I was going to need some sleep if I was going to a ball tonight.

~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~

I was awakened by someone shaking my shoulders and a voice saying. "Queen Lucy! Wake up, its time to get ready for the ball!"

I sat up in bed. "What?" I questioned sleepily, it couldn't be time for the ball. I'd only just gotten back from the escapade with Thomas.

"The ball!" Elle prodded me in the ribs. "You've slept the day away! Guests will be starting to arrive within the hour and we have less time than that to get you ready. Come, get up!" Elle pulled the covers off me unceremoniously.

I groaned aloud but made myself move, pushing hair out of my face as I went."

"Well, well." Elle perched her hands on her hips. "Where have you been young lady?"

I held out my arms and looked to my body and the pants and shirt I still wore from the previous night. "Do not ask. What time is it?"

Elle frowned disapprovingly at my wardrobe. "Just past seven. We must hurry. I've already had your bath drawn. Go on across the hall and I'll be over to help just as soon as I can."

I did as she ordered for I did not wish her to pursue the subject of my wardrobe. There was absolutely no way I would tell her that I'd been in Thomas' room the better part of a night, even when nothing had happened.

_But that, _I corrected myself. _Isn't quite true. _Something _had_ happened. Thomas had kissed me. I had let him kiss me. _"You're beautiful." _He'd said. It wasn't Thomas I wanted to hear that from. I slipped out of my tunic and pants and stepped into frothy, hot bath water. Heat rose around me rinsing away the doubts I had about that kiss.

I reached for the many bottles that lined the edge of the tub. I sniffed at each of the bottles, settling on the one that smelled of the ocean. I had always loved the smell of the ocean, its salt laden winds and tangy saltwater. Though it was undeniably sweeter than the actual thing.

I sucked a breath and ducked under water, wetting my hair. When I came back up, Elle waited with towels, she sat them down and picked up the bottle I'd singled out among the dozens.

She rolled up her sleeves and poured a handful in her palm, preparing to attack my hair.

_And so, _I thought humorously, _my transformation begins. _

_~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~_

It was over an hour later that I sat in my rooms as Elle twisted my hair up in rags to curl. "Did my dress get finished?" I questioned, for I had heard neither hide nor hair of it.

Elle's eyes held a secret. "Look over there in the box."

I pulled away from her hands and bounced over to the other side of my bed, to a box I had neglected to see. I was excited to see the dress and ripped the box open shamelessly. The bodice of the dress visible to my eyes first. I clutched it and pulled it out swiftly and carefully. Standing up I let it fall in front of me.

It was as Martha had said...magnificent. It truly was.

The bodice was extraordinary. Dark, shimmering gold was the color of the bodice and bronze stitching V'ed down, starting on either side of the bust and meeting in the middle at my waist. Beads of a slightly lighter bronze and gold were scattered like fallen stars over the skirt which, in itself, was a brilliant dark bronze. The edges of the hem had been tucked in places and left down in others, giving it a wavy look. What I loved the most of the dress was the back of the bodice. In addition to the criss-crossed stitching intricately weaving down the back all the way to the floor, at the clasp at the very nape of my neck, a beaded Lions head had been placed at the clasp.

And there were slippers to match it.

"Are you just going to stand and gawk at it or put it on so you can get down to your ball?"

I fairly danced behind the screen to dress.

"I'll be right back." Elle called to me. "I'll help you dress but I need to see to something."

"Alright!" I replied, already halfway out of my dressing gown. I pulled on my underthings and hurriedly reached for the gown. _No corsets for me. _I thought, smirking as I pulled the gown over my head and it slid effortlessly onto my body. It was light, elegant. _Exquisite. _I walked out from behind the screen and to the mirror at my dressing table.

That was when I realized something important was missing from my dress. _Where are the sleeves? _Two small swatches of fabric bunched at each shoulder but they weren't sleeves, for they just hung loosely.

A knock came at the door. "Who is it?" I asked distractedly, frantically searching for the rest of my dress. _I can't go down like this. _My shoulders were completely bare.

"May I come in?" Caspian's voice was deeper than usual and I froze.

I was still angry at him, nothing had changed that. I lunged for my dressing robe and wrapped it hastily around my dress, hiding it. "What is it?" I said impatiently.

"I need to speak with you, Lucy."

"Come in then." I sighed, not wishing to start an argument at that very moment.

The surprise on his face was priceless and I covered my mouth as I remembered I still had rags in my hair to curl it.

As he searched for something to say my eyes wandered immediately to his appearance.

His hair hung loose about his face, he'd not shaved though, so his face was scratchy with the last few days' growth. _The way I like. _He wore a dark shirt that made his skin seem even darker than it was. His pants black and his boots freshly shined, befitting the King he was.

His shirt hung open, I noticed. It would be clasped shut down at the ball but he'd obviously not finished dressing yet and I was rewarded a view of his chest, darkly tanned from many days without a shirt in the sun. **(Woo, I wanna see THAT. -Kat :D ) **I tried to look away but if I'd thought it was hard to look away from Thomas the previous night, Caspian was impossible. My eyes fell on a thin chain and the ring that hung from it. I swallowed hard.

"See something you like?" Caspian jarred me from my..._observations _and I blushed darkly.

"What did you want Caspian?"

He turned serious. "I wanted to give you this." He held out his hand revealing a necklace that lay in his palm. It was heart shaped, a deep red stone with sparkling diamonds, decorated around it, held by a delicate, twisted gold chain. **(Ooh, one point to Caspian for jewelry w/ diamonds. :D )**

"It- It's beautiful." I gasped.

"It was one of my mothers." He replied softly and I knew I was already halfway to forgiving him.

"Caspian I-" I couldn't take something like that.

"I want you to have it." He gently stopped me. Something made me take it from him. I turned to look in the mirror again so I could fasten the clasp at my neck.

"Here let me." He brushed my hand away and clasped the chain together. I watched him in the mirror as he did. He was smooth, relaxed. _I'm still mad at him. _I reminded myself.

But every time I glanced at him, even for just a moment, it got increasingly harder to hold onto that anger. He lifted his eyes just enough so as his lips brushed my neck lightly, his eyes met mine in the mirror. **(Eeep! ;) )**

My skin tingled with fire in response to the touch as my chest rose with a breath and my cheeks burned bright with color. "Do I get to see your dress now?"

As if sensing my desperate need for rescuing Elle came flying through the door and when she saw Caspian her smile turned smug. "I'm afraid you're going to have to go King Caspian!" She shoved at him boldly with both hands. "You can see Her Majesty downstairs."

Caspian gave a low groan near my ear and said. "I'll see you then."

As he left Elle stood, studying me laughingly. "My, you certainly keep busy when I'm not around."

I rolled my eyes in frustration. "He was just speaking before the ball." _Of course. And he just gave you the necklace as a second thought. _I mocked.

She returned my exasperated expression with an all knowing one. "Of course. And what is this?" Her finger lifted the heart from my collarbone lightly.

"Just a gift." I replied, shrugging in consternation.

The older woman said nothing more, just smiled.

~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~

Scarcely twenty some minutes later Elle pronounced me ready. Before I could take a step out the door she caught me in a quick hug. She sniffed and her eyes were bright with tears.

Alarmed I asked. "What's wrong Elle?"

The woman dabbed at her eyes in dismissal. "Oh, don't mind this old woman; I've grown soft in my old age. You just look so fine and beautiful in that dress, you remind me of my daughters."

I smiled sincerely. "And you remind me of my mother." _Except without the gossip. _But I did not say the last part. "Where are your daughters?"

The woman smiled thinly. "Oh both are married and have babies of their own, no time to trouble this old contrary woman." Elle looked sad. And tears rose in my eyes.

"Now, now." Elle murmured comfortingly. "None of that, we don't want you pink for your young man." She patted my shoulder but I slid my arms around her and gave her a true hug.

"Thank you so much Elle."

She hugged me back tightly, reminding me of my own mother indeed. "You are very welcome, my child. Now, go, before the men come looking for you." She teased.

I stopped in the doorway to call back. "Will you not consider coming down?"

"Gracious me, no! Where would this old hen fit in down there?"

I still did not leave. Elle deserved some fun too. "And if I were to order you to come...?"

The woman's eyes lit up with mischief. "I suppose I could not refuse."

I nodded with finality. "Come along then." I ordered teasingly.

"Oh, dear no! First I must get myself ready too!" She laughingly protested, her previous tears gone.

"But you will come?" I said pointedly.

"As you wish Your Majesty." She winked playfully. "And you know what they say, fashionably late and all."

I left the room calling. "None of that Majesty stuff!"

I walked down the hallway with nervousness flitting about in my stomach. There would be hundreds of people I did not know. I reassured myself with the thought that Caspian would be there and James, though I wasn't sure I could trust one and the other I was still angry at.

I came to a halt at the top of the winding stairs that led down to a balcony that overlooked the ballroom and further down another set of stairs that would relinquish me to the many people of Narnia. It was as terrifying as it was exciting.

I could feel my heart quicken its pace and I glanced to the side and into a mirror. For the first time I could see my full reflection. I looked...different. My waist admirably thin and my skin clear and sparkling from the dusting powder Elle had swept over my cheekbones. My lips were a darker red than usual. The dress hung low on my shoulders, but snug, so it was modest to some extent, showing just my shoulders.

My feet were comfortable as well in the silken dancing slippers Martha had made to match my dress. Embroidered with a little lion's head on either one.

My hair hung in large ringlets about my shoulders, Elle had left them free so they swung halfway down my back freely.

Something else was different in my appearance. I did not look anything like Susan and yet...I felt beautiful. Maybe it was because of Thomas' words telling me that very thing the previous night, but I did.

_'Aslan I thank you for...this.'_

It was time. I moved forward to take a step down the stairs. In moments I was at the balcony below and heading to the stairs at the opposite end. I touched the heart Caspian had given me as I reached the top of the second stairs, preparing for my descent. It was cool and comforting in a way.

A few guards stood stationed on either side at the top of the stairs and when boths eyes fell on me they widened.

"My Lady?" One choked out uncertainly.

I bobbed a shallow curtsy. "Good evening gentlemen."

I took a step down the staircase as both said in unison. "Good evening, Queen Lucy."

Halfway down the stairs I was met with the many voices of people. _Why is it that I'm never this nervous holding a sharp object? _I crossed into full view of the people but it wasn't until I reached the bottom that heads started turning my way.

But there is always an exception to anything, and there was one pair of eyes that followed me from the middle and as I made it to the bottom of the steps. A pair of chocolate brown eyes locked with mine instantly and my cheeks burned with a coming blush.

As I stepped off the stairs, heads started turning but I only looked at Caspian, I could not read his expression from here but as he drew closer I felt satisfaction at the look on his face.

It was not surprise but quite simply awe.

A not very ladylike smirk fell upon my lips. The moment broken when he stood in front of me, bowing deeply to kiss my hand.

"You look-" He started to whisper.

"Stunningly beautiful." James appeared at my left. Neither man looked at the other and both offered me their arms and because I wasn't about to single one of them out, I grasped both men's proffered arms so I had one on each side. _Thank you James for ruining that moment. _

By then heads had turned and it looked as if the entirety of the people were now watching us. Caspian dropped my arm gently, letting my hand slide down into his. I gave him a curious glance.

From the crowd to my right there came a dwarf. "Trumpkin!" I smiled enthusiastically. The dwarf held a cushion and on it lay something I had not seen for a very long time.

A circlet of the finest gold nestled on the cushion. It was the very first circlet I'd worn when I'd been crowned Queen alongside of my siblings. "You found it at Cair Paravel?" I said disbelievingly.

Caspian grinned proudly and gently raised the circlet from its place on the cushion. To the people he called. "I give you Queen Lucy the Valiant of the Glistening Eastern Sea." His words were like a breath of fresh air off his lips. I had never heard him say my full title before and it seemed strange...but empowering.

I bowed my head just a little but there really was no need as he was much taller than I. He placed it softly on my head. Brushing a curl from my cheek he said. "The Warrior Queen of her people." The last, a whisper for only me.

I lifted my head trying to make my heart stop its frantic beat from hardly a touch from him. _Stop being ridiculous, you are still angry at him. _I had to keep reminding myself.

~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~

After that things moved quickly. I was asked to dance by a few but mostly the Narnian's seemed to just want to speak to me, to meet me. So I said hello and smiled at hundreds before I felt I was being watched. I glanced up to find James heading my way. Thomas' warning was still fresh in my ears. _"Do not trust him."_

There wasn't anything I could do to avoid him at that moment though as he reached me and bowed elegantly.

"May I have the pleasure of this next dance, Queen Lucy?" The events of the previous nights played in my head. _What if he tried to kiss me again? If that's what he was doing. _I mocked. I contemplated refusing him.

What stopped me?

Watching Caspian and Lilliandril dance by with her laughing in his arms. I nodded at the man who stood in front of me. "Of course." He flashed a grin and we were swept into the dance together.

Now James was truly an excellent dancer. He was in time with the music, graceful on his feet, never missing a step. Even when every now and then I'd stumble. He never laughed or teased me about it, tonight he was serious.

It seemed that James' single dance had given several men the courage to ask me and the next three dances were taken. None of them were with Caspian and the very next one James appeared in front of me once more.

And I wasn't in a lovely mood.

"Where is Caspian?" I asked bluntly. I was in a word...irritated. _Yes, we're such good friends that he can't deign himself to dance just once with me. But the Star gets his attention._

An all too arrogant smile snaked its way onto James' face. "Is her Majesty upset about something?"

I scowled inwardly but flashed a brilliant smile. "No, I just hadn't seen much of him."

"Ah" He said irritatingly. "I only saw him briefly earlier," He inclined his head to the many dancing couples. "With my cousin."

My chest bubbled with an unpleasant feeling. _Why do I keep feeling this way over him and Lilliandril? _

_"_What are you thinking about?" James asked suddenly, his voice sounding like that of the other night...sweet.

We swung in a wide arc before I answered. "Nothing important."

"You know I meant it earlier." He replied.

I blinked at the sudden change. "Pardon?"

"You are beautiful."" My stomach swirled, I was in no way accustomed to these compliments, especially from men that had tried to kiss me.

"Thank you." I mumbled uncertainly.

The next few minutes were silent and I found myself studying him like I had Caspian earlier.

His blonde hair had been pulled back away from his face tonight, tied in the back. He wore a crimson red tunic and pure white pants.

He was handsome to be sure but I could in no way try and convince myself to ever fancy him. My eyes came to a stop at his collar. A chain barely visible above it. _His ring. _I knew instantly. Both he and Caspian wore theirs tonight. _Is that just a coincidence? _I rolled the question over in my mind.

I stared past James' shoulder and my brow furrowed in surprise. Thomas was walking my way through the crowd with a large smile on his face.

"How did he get here?" I said it aloud. _I forgot to find a way to get him down here, so how did he get here? _

"How did who get here?" James asked quizzically glancing over one shoulder though Thomas was hidden by the crowd as they came back together for the dance.

It was scarcely a second later though that Thomas came through the crowd and looked at me with a beleaguered grin stretching across his handsome features. "Queen Lucy." He said grandly and James turned to openly stare at the interruption.

I grimaced at James' coming reaction and said. "Thomas."

Indeed, James did not look pleased. "Who allowed you in here?" He growled.

Thomas, it was too expected, ignored James and kept his eyes on me. "Would you dance with me Queen Lucy?" He never once acknowledged James' outraged persona.

James raised a hand in front of me. "She doesn't wish to dance with you. Now, kindly leave." _Or else. _He didn't say the last but it was evident he meant it.

I pushed James' arm away. "Thomas is my friend, James," I steadily looked at him and his ice cold eyes. "I _would_ like to dance with him."

James eyes were nothing less than frigid when he looked at me and murmured. "As you wish My Lady."

I curtsied to him. "Thank you for the dances." His bow in return before he left was stiff. And I cast a chiding look to Thomas when he left. "That was uncalled for."

Thomas held out his hand, mischief sparkling out of his eyes. "But I got what I wanted."

I let him wrap his hand around mine. "And what was that?"

He pulled me to him. "I have you to myself." His lips touched my cheek in a kiss. I blushed deeply at the sweet gesture, unsure of whether I should attempt a reply to his words.

Whatever James had been as a dance partner, Thomas was the very opposite. Thomas is what I would have called a fun dance partner. He laughed frequently and stumbled at least twice as much as I did. He teased me when I stumbled and when he stumbled himself he laughed harder.

The conversation was relaxed, that of old friends even though we hadn't known each other all that long.

"I enjoyed your company last night."

I smiled in return. _Perhaps a bit too much? _"How did you get here? When I woke this evening I had no time to even try and get you out of the room."

He released one of my hands and spun me out lightly and then pulled me back so I was pressed against him for a few seconds. His arms tightened for a second so he could hold me. "The guards were busy because of the ball, I faked going to bed early and here I am."

I frowned. _That's unusual, why would Caspian's men be so careless? _

Thomas chuckled, his breath on my face and his chest shaking against me. I turned to him suddenly and was opening my mouth to ask him something when I was cut off abruptly.

Caspian's hand landed on Thomas' with an ill-concealed glare of anger.

"What are you doing here?" I wasn't sure if the question was meant for me or Thomas so I answered for the both of us.

"Dancing."

He ignored me and said to Thomas. "You're leaving now."

I caught Caspian's arm. "No, he is not." I said evenly and he still refused to return my angry gaze.

Caspian jerked his head in a sharp gesture and two guards appeared on either side of Thomas, taking his arms and leading him away. I moved to follow but Caspian stepped in front of me to block me.

I glared at him and tried to peer around him. "Thomas." I called softly, aware that we were drawing stares. "I'm so sorry Thomas."

He glanced back and said loud enough for me to hear. "It's not your fault. Thank you for...everything, Lucy." His eyes conveyed more than his words could and Caspian was not blind to that glance.

The angry King hid his emotions well but I knew he was annoyed. He was silent for a long moment before gazing down at me with a storm in his brown eyes. "Will you dance with me Lu?"

My lips twisted with incredulity at the gall of that question. "No." I responded adamantly, glancing about to the hundreds of curious faces that watched me. I gave a "Hmmph." Of frustration.

"Please Lu?" He asked, holding out his hand welcomingly.

Against my better judgment I placed my hand in his and danced with him. Because however angry I was at him I did not want everyone to know by midnight tonight.

So I danced with him. And did my very best to keep my heart from racing whenever he touched my skin. And I solemnly refused to look at him, not even a glance.

I breathed more easily when the dance ended and I pulled away to leave.

"Lu?" His single word asked me to stop. I didn't, afraid that I'd cause an even bigger scene than the one with Thomas so I strode into the crowd and let it envelope me.

~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~

It had been only about half an hour and I had truly had quite enough. James had disappeared completely, I was weaving around to avoid Caspian and Thomas was most likely back locked into his room under heavy guard.

I quit dancing and when I could, fell back where no one would notice me and as a free moment came I slipped out of the ball.

I didn't want to be confined within a crowd right now. I jerked my skirt up so the past couple day's rain wouldn't muddy the material. I wasn't about to go back and change. I picked up my pace, heading directly to the now familiar path to the stables.

As it came into view I groaned silently to myself. _I don't want to have to explain to Dannsair right now. _I went on, only pausing outside the doors, the faint sound of voices reaching my ears.

I heard the distinctive laugh of Dannsair. That kept me from going in. I could hear a deeper voice as well, one I guessed of whom was Destrier.

Closing my eyes, I leant against the solid wood of the stable.

Their laughter told of a good time. _That's how it should be. _I couldn't stop the bitter thought from coming to mind. Was it wrong for me to care for Caspian as I did when it was apparent that I was going to one moment be fine with him and then the next very nearly loathe him?

I shoved off the wood harshly. I did not wish to cause trouble if someone realized I was missing but neither did I want to go back. _This is supposed to be my ball._ I lifted a hand to finger the smooth gold of a crown worn by a Queen I didn't recognize anymore. I let my fingers slide farther down, touching my cheek and then coming to rest on the cool stone of the necklace Caspian had given me.

My mind was made up for the moment, however foolish an idea it might be. I raced to the fields behind the stable. _Perhaps Sparrow would like a night out alongside the beach. _I made it to the fence where I found out that no matter how agile anyone might be. It's still not an easy task to climb over a fence in a floor length ball gown. It required me kicking off my slippers and hiking up my dress above my knees.

But I did make it. My bare feet touched dew soaked grass and I took off quickly across the field until I could make out the faint outlines of a herd of horses. I slowed and called out quietly.

"Sparrow?" I wrinkled my nose with displeasure when I said it for I didn't like using his nickname. "Can anyone tell me where Sparrow might be?" I said to a couple of mares grazing together.

"Over there." One replied, flicking her tail at me.

"Thank you." I said dryly.

Just minutes later I picked him out of the herd and called. "Sparrow?" once more.

One horse's head came up and his ears pricked in my direction.

"Wh- who is it?"

I crept silently forward. "It's just me Lucy." I answered comfortingly. "I wanted to ask if you'd like to come somewhere with me?"

The small bay snorted with unease. "I- I don't kn- know, it's awfully dark out tonight."

"We won't go far," I coaxed him. "Just down to the beach, we can play in the water's edge."

~X~X~X~

It took longer than I would have liked but we were on our way down to the ocean soon enough. We now trotted through salty water, a gentle breeze playing with my curls, making them wispy as I leaned up on Sparrow's neck.

"How about a run, my friend?" I suggested.

"If- If you wish it My Lady." His pace quickened, his stride lengthened. More smooth than it had been the last time. He moved into a lope down the sandy stretch of ground and wove in and out of the salt water. It flung up from his hooves and if I closed my eyes I could almost imagine it was a kiss on my lips, the wind a caress of a gentle hand on my cheeks.

Sometime after, Sparrow slowed down gently until he came to a complete stop. I slid from his bare back comfortably, splashing into ankle deep water. It was cool and refreshing after the hours indoors with hundreds of bodies close together.

The horse's muzzle beside me trembled with a nicker.

"What is it?" I asked kindly.

"I- I- Would you- that is I want...if you don't mind. I sm- smell the most delicious grass over there. Can I...? Do you think...?"

I hid an amused smile. "Go on, I'll be fine right here. Just don't wander too far away."

"Oh- Oh thank you, Queen Lucy!" He trotted off happily to a crop of trees hardly a hundred feet away, disappearing into the darkness. Making me wonder if I shouldn't have come, Edwin's disappearance always at the back of my mind.

I was standing alone at the water's edge, the moon shining overhead, a thin strip of silver tonight.

_The Glistening Eastern Sea. _I peered through the dark night and out over the water, smiling as I remembered days upon the Dawn Treader the wind carrying us out over uncharted waters, the wind and sea...I smiled bitter sweetly into the gentle breeze and stepped into the water, letting my dress drop, not caring if it got wet anymore.

_I miss you so much, Aslan. _I brought a finger to my lips, touching them softly. _What does a kiss really mean? _Thomas' had left me confused and not much else. Did he truly feel more than friendship for me?

I tilted my head back to see spots of light darting overhead. _Lightning bugs. _They hummed with a quiet song. Another smile pulled at the corners of my mouth.

"Dance my friends." The almost musical sound increased and the fireflies darted about me, seemingly asking me to dance with them.

I was alone so I complied. _Just like the Golden Age. _I lifted my arms and shook my head slightly, letting my curls fling wildly about. _"_Dance._"_ I spun and let my arms spin around with me, my feet carrying me as they wished.

The fireflies' song was sweet and fast. I splashed farther into the surf, ignoring the waters soaking my dress up to my knees.

The thing was, I wasn't as alone as I'd first assumed. An arm went around my waist from behind, joining in my careless dance.

I froze instantly, opening my eyes to find I was gazing into Caspian's stormily dark eyes.

"Why are you here?" I made no attempt to hide my annoyance.

He didn't exactly look pleased either. I shoved him away and stalked back onto the sand. "I could ask you the same, but I won't. I'll just ask how could you be so foolish as to come by yourself?" He said, his tone hard.

"Ha," I gave a hard laugh. "I believe I can take care of myself, Your Highness."

He stalked angrily around so he could level me with a glare. "Oh, yes, quite evident," He replied caustically. "Especially after the last time."

I shoved at him with both hands, when he did not move it just made me ball my fists, making me want to hit him harder. "What is wrong with you?" I pushed at him again. "First, you tell me I can trust you,"

He caught my balled fist to stop me. "Not that you did anyway." He shot back.

"You expect me to trust you," I spat furiously. "Though, you just want to disappear for an entire day, dropping the duties of the ball," I poked him with a finger in his muscled chest. "You planned for me."

He glared at me with his angry, black eyes. "I thought you wanted the ball!"

I held out my hands. "Who said I didn't? What I wanted was for you to at least _tell _me that you moved my own ball! And on top of that, you ignored me!"

"Ignored you?" His tone dripped incredulity. "Pardon, it seemed you were the one avoiding me."

I hit him in the shoulder, ignoring the ache in my hand from his work hardened shoulder. "And what of Thomas? What did he do to you tonight? You could have respected me enough to leave him be!"

Caspian and I were now inches apart, if I'd been taller we would have been face to face.

"Perhaps I respect you too much to let you dance with that-"

"Oh shut up!" I cut him off angrily. "It is not, you just can't stand the fact that I don't need y-" I bit down on my tongue viciously. The harsh words that weren't completely true.

Caspian laughed, it was a hard sound, scornful even. "That I can't stand the fact that you what? Don't need me? You can't even say it." Something in his eyes changed as he said it though.

I didn't stop to heed that look and glared at him. "Thomas is my friend and you need to accept that."

"From the way you talk anyone would you cared for him!"

"And what if I did?" I challenged him. Watching as his normally sun darkened skin flushed red from anger. I did not think it possible for eyes to get any darker, but his did. They were a mirror of the night sky.

Dangerous.

Tempting.

My eyes flicked down to his lips.

"Where were you last night?" Caspian's demand made me look back to his eyes.

"What?"

"Last night? You were gone till morning. I know because I waited for you."

I sucked in a surprised breath. I almost said nowhere, refusing to tell but the mocking condescension that shone from his eyes made me say. "With Thomas."

Caspian's eyes flickered warningly. I suppose that should have been a warning, but it wasn't. "In his room?" His voice had turned into a growl.

"How else would I have seen him? You keep him locked up every single moment of the day." I spat in his face.

"It's time we got back." Caspian said abruptly, his accent thickening, betraying how angry he really was.

"I'm not coming right now." I said plainly.

Caspian's movements were rigid. "I'm not giving you a choice."

"And I'm saying no." I dared to say evenly to his face.

Caspian's hand snaked onto my neck, his fingers warm on my scalp as his fingers slid into my hair. His breath fast, hot and furious on my face.

"You're just jealous." I snarled, though it was rather hard to ignore his hand in my hair.

Caspian chuckled and anyone who heard might have thought him amused. He was no such thing. "Of what?"

I smiled smugly, having thought of the perfect insult befitting him and his arrogantly curved lips. "That Thomas kisses like a real man." My answer was slow, measured.

And a mistake.

He'd had quite enough.

**Well, review please! If you wanna see what happens, you know...lol**

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**Awww, come on. Y'all know I'm not **_**that **_**evil. :D Keep reading...**

His eyes locked with mine for a second and then they dropped a few inches. I stopped breathing as his mouth captured mine. I was completely defenseless against it and I couldn't find the will to care as his fingers twisted their way more thickly into my hair and his unbelievably soft lips moved against mine, asking for my own in return. **( *GASP* It happened! Is anybody doing a happy dance? :D )**

My chest rose in a shaky breath and I had to clutch at his shirt to stay upright.

Thomas' kiss had felt _nothing_ like this. Susan's kiss with him had _looked_ nothing like this.

I trembled against him as a thousand different feelings coursed through me. I fought against his kiss, what it was doing to me.

But I couldn't. I didn't _want_ to.

I gave in.

His kiss made my blood rush, my heart race. My hand rested on his neck. He moved his lips against mine caressing my lips with his own. The kiss savage and sweetly possessive, burning like fire on my skin as his lips moved to kiss my jaw and cheeks.

I raised my hand, giving in to an impulse. I let my fingers trace their way over his jaw, feeling his unshaven skin prick at my fingers. He tilted his head at my touch, making me raise my other hand to touch his other cheek and slide my fingers into his thick hair.

Mischief and arrogance coincided with the other in his eyes and for a second time his mouth found mine. I found myself trying to fight it once more but in the end I gave up, not even sure why I'd fought in the first place. I relaxed into him. He tasted of something sweet.

When he pulled away his breath came out ragged and his whisper was huskily accented when he leaned to kiss my neck just below one ear and whisper. "And what do you think now?"

I shivered but tried to push away. "Oh, that was...alright, I suppose." _Exactly, which explains why my head is spinning and I feel like I'm on fire._

His mouth moved to linger just over my lips again.

"Don't." I murmured. _Why am I protesting?_

"Don't what?" He whispered against my lips. I didn't protest as his lips slid to cover my cheeks, my jaw more thoroughly. He pressed a kiss to the top of my head sweetly. It was almost a brotherly gesture but his kiss was nothing of the sort.

I leaned on him, wanting to rest my head on his chest as I had the night he'd comforted me. Like he knew what I was thinking, he pulled closer, resting his arms around me, an open invitation.

I shifted, resting my head on his broad and surprisingly soft chest. His skin warm after my wild dance in the ocean. _I think I may be in love with you. _I almost had the courage to say but I wasn't quite sure that a few kisses were synonymous to love. Even when they felt as they had.

So instead I shut my eyes and inhaled his sweet scent, listening to his heartbeat. It raced at least as fast as mine.

His hand slid under my chin to lift my face to his. "Will you dance with me?"

I gazed at him, his face, eyes. He took my breath. The slight moon outlining his face. "Yes." I said for I even if I had wanted, I knew I couldn't refuse him.

He caught both my hands and pulled me alongside him. The lightning bugs from earlier were back, this time with the accompaniment of another coming storm as lightning traced its way across the water.

So with the light guiding us, Caspian led me into a dance at the frothy edge of the water. Slow at first but the steps quickened as we danced together. It wasn't like the ones that had been danced in the ballroom but one much like I would have danced alongside my fellow Narnian's back in the Golden Age.

Caspian's face was alight with happiness and mischief. "Dance with me Lu." He requested in a whisper and I complied. My feet splashed in and out of the water and Caspian moved not just alongside me but as one with me. He grasped my waist and I didn't know what he was doing until my feet left the ground as he picked me up lightly. He spun me around in a circle and I wrapped my hands about his shoulders leaning back to let the tangy ocean breeze waft over my face.

Moments later he sat me back down, as my feet touched the soft sand I stumbled and he lunged to keep me up but we both slipped and fell with a splash.

I laughed. The water had thoroughly soaked through my dress but I didn't mind. Caspian was likewise wet. I pushed up to lean over where he still lay on his back. He raised a brow at me. "If I didn't know better I'd think you'd planned that." He sat up, his gaze dropping to my collarbone.

I held my breath as his fingers brushed skin when he picked up the necklace I wore. "I'm glad you wore this."

I reached to catch his larger hand, slipping my fingers through his. "You gave it to me didn't you?"

With my free hand I dared to touch his cheek again.

He pulled me back closer so he could kiss me once more. "I'm sorry." He got out before his mouth enveloped me again. His lips tasting salty sweet this time. The ocean splashing us with waves.

When we broke apart I asked. "What are you sorry for?" I tensed slightly as I waited for his answer. _Sorry for the kiss? _

"Yesterday. Not telling you I'd be gone and leaving you with the ball alone. I'm sorry."

His not mentioning Thomas was noticeably absent and I tilted my head curiously. "What of Thomas?"

Caspian pushed to his knees beside me and pulled me up with him. "What _of_ Thomas?" He replied. I heard his chest expand with a sigh. "We truly do need to be getting back."

I prodded him in the arm. "I don't get an answer?"

He slid his arm around my waist. "No."

He kept his arm around me all the way to the edge of the woods where Destrier stood. Waiting along with Sparrow. I slipped from his arms to mount Sparrow but he pulled me right back to him. "You can ride with me on Destrier."

"I can ride my own horse." I protested.

"I know," He said into my hair. "But I want you to ride with me."

My cheeks flamed. I wasn't about to argue with that. He swung me up on his horse and pulled himself up behind me. I settled back against him and he slid his arms past me to hold the reins.

"There, that wasn't so bad was it?"

I smiled. "Perhaps not."

~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~

We rode like that all the way back to the castle, both soaking wet and happy. After returning Sparrow and Destrier to the stable we snuck back into the castle. Careful to avoid the ball. Neither of us cared to explain our appearances.

We parted ways at my door and I felt sad to watch him leave, wanting him to turn back around. Sighing I closed my door and reached back to loosen the release the clasp and loosen the stays of my wet gown. I changed from my beautiful ball gown to a borrowed dress that still hung in my wardrobe, it was a bit loose but it would have to do.

I crossed to sit on my window seat, pulling my knees to my chest and playing with the chain of the necklace Caspian had given me. Replaying the instant his angry lips had met mine. I hadn't expected it. I'd been so furious and he'd been so angry...I touched my mouth.

I didn't think I'd ever to be able to forget that moment. And I didn't want to, ever.

I light knock on my door jerked me back out of my daydreams. "Come in." I called softly, grinning as Caspian's head peeked around the door. "You can come in." I said, standing up to meet him in the middle of the room.

He smiled down at me. "Are we going back to the ball?" He caught my hand and kissed it.

"Hmmm," I reveled in the feelings he stirred within my heart. "I suppose we should."

~X~X~X~X~X~X~

To the ball we went. If anyone noticed my change of wardrobe, and they probably did, they made no comment of it.

I lingered near Caspian the remainder of the evening, feeling the lightest I had in months. My heart unburdened for that sweet moment.

It was sometime later that the guests finally started to slip out and leave for the night. It was well past midnight and the sky was still dark with the promise of another storm.

And Caspian had disappeared. He'd been gone for a little while now. _I wonder where he went. _I pondered silently as I smiled and said goodbye to another guest.

I followed the steady flow of guests until I was outside. The very last of people were just getting into their carriages when someone grasped me from behind.

"I wondered where you'd gotten to." Caspian said teasingly.

I twisted around in his arms so we faced each other. "I was about to say the same of you."

He pulled at one of my still damp curls. "I had to speak with one of my men." He dropped the curl and pulled at another. "Would you like to go for a walk Queen Lucy?"

I placed my hand in his. "I suppose I could spare a moment or two for His Majesty." I replied teasingly.

And we walked, getting lost in the gardens many paths, stopping only when Caspian halted and said. "Lu, I want to talk to you."

I shot him a wary glance. "About what?"

His face was serious. "You've been kind of...careless with your safety." He held up a hand to stop the coming protest. "Let me finish, please. I don't want anything to happen to you." He whispered huskily. His fingers released mine so he could brush them on my face. "I want you to promise me that you won't run off by yourself anymore."

I pressed my lips tightly together. "Caspian you know I can't just sit aside and do nothing."

His expression was a mixture of irritation and worry. "I'll be careful." I promised, shrugging away from him and turning to continue our walk.

I did not make it two feet and he grasped me gently. I wasn't quite sure how I ended up towards him as he breathed. "That's not good enough for me."

Looking into his eyes was hard. "I can't."

"Not for me?" I tore my eyes away because if I gazed at him any longer I knew I'd agree. "Lucy." I was weak against him and I looked back, his lips touching my own with an intensity I had no power to fight.

He pulled away for a second. "Please?"

"I can't-" His kiss cut me off.

"Please do it for me." He begged as he pulled away for a second time.

I frowned, torn at his pleading expression. What was I supposed to say to him? Have you ever looked into a man's eyes and seen him plead? I couldn't tell him no. And I had a feeling he knew that.

"Fine." I grumbled under my breath.

He looked relieved. "Good. I have something for you."

"Why do I feel I should be worried?"

"I don't have them with me but back in my room I have twin swords that-"

Startled I blinked, he'd caught my attention. "The one's you had on board the Dawn Treader the day I arrived?"

He nodded. "I traded for them in Archenland. I knew how much you loved your daggers and when they were stolen..." He trailed off looking embarrassed.

I poked him in the ribs. "What?"

He ran a hand over my hair and rested it on my neck. "They reminded me of you." I caught my breath, it was so sweet. I stood on my tiptoes so I could kiss his cheek. "You can have them tomorrow."

Shortly after we wandered slowly back out of the gardens and towards the castle. A slow, easy conversation flowing between us. As we neared the castle, though, something changed.

I couldn't say what for Caspian's posture wasn't stiff and he smiled the same but something seemed different.

We were at my bedroom door when he caught me by the arm and brought me back to wrap his arms around me in a hug. "Goodnight Lu." I touched his cheek tenderly and his head tilted so he could kiss me goodnight.

I smiled into that kiss wishing it didn't have to end. When I started to pull away and leave the kiss his hand slipped onto my neck and he deepened the kiss, like he didn't want to let me go.

When he did pull away his voice was heavy with his accent. "Goodbye, My Queen." His choice of words did not seem unusual at that moment as he pulled me to his chest and his fingers stroked my hair.

"Thank you for the ball Caspian. I truly did love it and my dress." I could feel his mouth stretch in to a smile on my forehead and he whispered.

"I'm glad." And he let me slip from his strong arms. "Go on to bed and get some rest." He turned his back to leave.

I went into my room and crawled drowsily into bed after changing. I did not sleep immediately; Caspian's searing kisses did not allow it. The very last one bothered me though; it had felt different from the others. It had been hungry, like he wanted to fit one kiss in the place of hundreds.

_Like it might be our last. _Fear rose in my heart at the strange thought. _Why would it be our last? _

I shoved at my pillow to make it more comfortable. Sleep did come though haunted by the lingering kiss of Caspian's lips.

~X~X~X~

I sat straight up in bed, unsure what had woken me. I grabbed for the arrows I now kept beside me hidden from view. I stepped from bed, a niggling in my mind. Like I needed to remember something. I stared about uneasily.

_What could it be? _

I thought of the little mouse I'd met outside Caspian's room and dropped to me knees, searching around hastily for a hole of any kind. I spotted one near my bed.

I made my voice a whisper. "Hello, does anyone live here? Do you know a mouse named Dally?" No answer. "Please?" I leaned closer to the hole.

A moment later I could hear a squeaking as a brown mouse appeared before me.

"What do you know of Dally?"

I peered down at the female mouse. "He told me that I needed anything I could ask the mice for help." I paused to make sure she understood. "Do you know of anything going on in the castle tonight?"

The little mouse eyes me curiously. "All is quiet throughout the castle tonight." I frowned at that but she said. "Now, yesterday that was a different story."

I perked up. "What happened yesterday?"

The small mouse appeared to think. "I- I think it was something to do with a ball." She squeaked. "The men were talking about it, some of the guards I believe."

I sighed dismally. "That's it?"

"No, no!" The mouse hurriedly went on. "There was more. I think one of my cousins heard that it was cover!" The mouse's ears twitched. "My mother is calling. I have to go!"

"But-" I started but she was already gone. "Cover?" I muttered aloud to myself. I shut my eyes. _Cover? What does that mean? _

Cover.

My eyes shot open and I jumped to my feet, bounding across my room in seconds. I ravaged in my drawers for the sack I'd put aside for the night I would follow Caspian and his men.

The ball was a cover. Maybe it hadn't been at first but that's what it had turned into. The ball having been moved so quickly and without telling me.

_Because he was planning on leaving, he just had to keep me occupied. _

His choice of words. _"Goodbye Lu." _not goodnight the second time. _Goodbye. _His kiss had felt like a goodbye, like he wasn't planning on there being any more anytime soon.

His making me promise I wouldn't run off without my guards. Both him and James wearing their rings tonight of all nights.

I pulled on a pair of pants, a loose shirt and jerked on each boot as I bounced on one foot across the room to grab my dressing robe. Grimacing, I tossed the sack and then the dressing robe over my clothes, finding that I could not hide my sister's bow underneath the thin material.

I growled in frustration but headed towards the door, unsure of how I should slip out unnoticed this time.

The guards stood alert when the door opened.

"My Lady." The muttered out of respect. I nodded as acknowledge mean and moved to pass them. One blocked me. "We cannot let you go anywhere alone this time of night, Queen Lucy."

_Caspian's orders no doubt. _I flashed a brilliant smile. "I just needed to get some water and perhaps a bit of bread. I hadn't much to eat earlier." Hunger had been the last thing on my mind.

The three guards exchanged long suffering looks and followed me without another word. Downstairs I crossed into the kitchen, though it was dark I crossed behind the counter and back into what I knew was a large pantry.

I shoved as much bread and cheese into my sack as it allowed.

I was just out of view of the men and they didn't like it.

"Queen Lucy, are you ready?" One asked impatiently.

I called out. "Just a moment, I'm searching for a piece of cake." I rolled my eyes. I second later I was finished and I turned to leave.

_Next stop, Caspian's room. _

A hand fell on my shoulder and I jumped.

"Shhh!" Someone hissed quietly.

I recognized the voice. "Elle?"

"Yes, now be quiet or they'll hear!" She ordered. "Take this and hurry, you might be able to catch them."

I felt puzzled. "You know what's going on?"

She gave me an impatient push back in the guard's direction. "I don't know much but I figured you would do this, now, be safe my child. I want to see you return in one piece. Go. Aslan be with you."

She gave me no chance to reply as she shoved another smaller sack into my hands and I pulled it over my shoulder. The guards watched me carefully as I emerged. I held a cup of water in one hand a piece of bread in the other.

When we headed back to my room I turned away and down the hall that would lead me to Caspian's instead. This did not escape the guard's attention.

"My Lady, your room is the other way."

"I know." I replied. I made it as far as his door, raising my hand to open the knob when one guard dared to grasp my wrist to stop me.

"Queen Lucy, I must ask you to come back to your own room, King Caspian is probably asleep."

_Of course he is. _I glared at his hand. _"_Kindly take your hand off me. Caspian is expecting me."

The guard released me with a strange look in his eyes. The threesome exchanged confused glances and I knew I was right to assume that Caspian was supposed to be gone.

"Stay here." I ordered pointedly. And quickly darted into his room, desperately hoping that I was not wrong.

I sighed in relief at the sight of his empty bed. And for the guards benefit I squealed a high pitched giggle as if Caspian were in here and I rolled my eyes. _Men are pigs. _

I wasted no time heading into the opposite room to the trunk that held the twin swords. I threw its lid up with haste. I was going to take Caspian up on his gift a bit earlier than intended.

I nearly hesitated as I vividly remembered the way the blades had glowed with a magical quality when I touched them. _I have no choice. _It was either go on without a weapon or take the one that might be dangerous.

I picked one up by its cool hilt. Pulling the other one out and their scabbard. I sat the two down whilst I fastened the leather to my waist. I slid both blades into it.

It was too dangerous trying to go out a window, so I headed to the fake trunk. I tried not to think of my first experience going through the tunnel. I slid into the hole carefully leaving the trunks lid up to allow some wan light into the darkness below.

~X~X~X~

I hurried as fast as I could, not stopping until I was outside and crouched back into shadow outside the stable. I was wary of the distance as I did not want Dannsair to catch my scent. The stable was quieter than usual betraying that it was half empty of its usual herd of horses.

I slipped into the shadows and grasped a saddle and bridle I had set aside for just such a night. I hurried to the field. It was true I had not consulted the horse on if he would go or not, but I hoped.

He was standing under the same tree as he'd been earlier that night and I was breathless when I ran up to him having carried the saddle that far.

"Q- Queen L- Lucy?" Sparrow asked.

I laid a calming hand on his shoulder. "Listen to me and please do not interrupt. I need to leave right now and follow King Caspian and his men. It is of a most important matter and I'd like for you to come with me." I explained hastily.

I felt bad that I was putting the young horse under pressure but he asked surprisingly calmly. "Why do you want me?"

I answered that easily. "Because I can accomplish my problem and you can get your true name."

A thoughtful pause followed that statement and then in a hushed voice he said. "I- I'll- I'll go."

"Thank you!" I exclaimed and he turned so I could saddle him mere moments. Before I mounted I sent an apologetic look to Thomas' window, wishing that I'd been able to explain why I wouldn't be dropping in for anymore impromptu visits.

"How long was it when they left so you think?" I questioned Sparrow.

"A- a half hour nearly."

I nodded determinedly. "Good, we can still catch them. Give me just a moment." I went off scarcely a few feet to the one of the many horses that walked about grazing. I enlisted the colts help. He was to deliver a message to Dannsair sometime within the next day or so. And in turn for Dannsair to get a message to Thomas somehow. Hopefully it would get back to the both of them that I would be safe. Or as safe as anyone who was riding with only a horse as a companion might be.

Moments later we were cantering down the field. "Which way did they go?" I questioned the horse and his keener sense of smell.

"I think their h- heading t- towards the gates My Lady, leaving Calormen."

I had expected as much. "To the gates then." I said with more calm than I felt inside.

~X~X~X~X~X~

I had no trouble leaving the town of Calormen as I claimed to the guards posted that I was a weapon boy for one of His Majesty's men and been left behind because I'd slept in. One of the rough looking men had given me a clip behind the ear of which I was tempted to return but took it in stride as I did not wish to leave my disguise behind so soon.

Now as I stood atop a hill miles from the gates of Calormen, I was cloaked with darkness as I watched a hardly visible line of men and horse's disappeared down the road, clouded from my view by the misting sky.

I had the choice to turn back right then and go back to the castle. "Aslan be with us." I whispered into the night, pulling my cloak more tightly around my body lest the cold seep into my body.

_And when I see Caspian again... _I didn't finish the silent thought for his deceit tonight was greater than his behavior thus far. _I wonder if he even meant any of it or if it was just a lie to keep me occupied._

"Last chance to turn back." I said steadily to my horse companion. "Are you with me?"

The horse snorted bravely. "T- to the end."

The road ahead would be long, strenuous and since it was just the two of us doubly hard.

But I was determined that this would end. I would figure it out and I would rescue Edwin. Whether Caspian's and my ending would end happy was to be decided. I was breaking the promise I'd made him but I supposed that made us even, though I knew it wasn't right.

"Let's go."

_**Oh my gosh. Review please! Cuz I wrote like 37,000 words for y'all. ;)**_


	16. The Path Before Me

**Warnings for this chapter: There will be more violence. Creatures get killed. I try not to get to graphic but I think I should say something...lol**

_**Chapter 16- The Path Before Me**_

The path that lay before me was not an easy one, I knew. But I'd been through worse. I could live with the circumstances.

I truly had only one problem. And that was the one man I dared to trust for an instant had kissed me and then left.

_Like it was nothing. _My cynical mind whispered._ Like you're nothing to him. _I did nothing to stop these thoughts. I didn't want to stop them. I credited my anger for that and the reasoning that if Caspian didn't care for me like I'd thought after our shared kisses, then it did not matter.

Edwin needed rescuing. And he was the reason I was doing this. For the hundredth time I whispered a prayer for his safety as I swayed on Sparrow's thankfully, broad back.

I'd been riding for the better part of two days. And Caspian's men were not slowing at all. They rushed through their meals, hardly stopping to rest at all. So I was kept constantly aware of their activity. I couldn't afford to lose them.

It was with heavy eyelids that I forced open the third day to follow the men that I began to have a wary feeling about the forest that surrounded us. I scanned the forest, listening intently, making sure that no one was above us ready to pounce.

_Something isn't right. _

My body was tense with anticipation. The past two days had been too easy. _If our enemies can get us messages and manipulate us as they have, then why would they be so foolish as to let me get away so easily? _It didn't make sense.

I leaned over Sparrow's neck and pulled a subtle hand under my cloak so that it rested on one of the twin swords Caspian had so kindly offered me.

"Do you hear anything or sense anything?" I asked in a hushed whisper to the horse's pricked ears.

The bay shuddered beneath me and I knew he sensed my unease though I tried my best to hide it. "I d-do not hear a- anything Milady. But I- I..."

"Yes?" I prodded him gently.

"S- something d- doesn't feel r- r- right." The horse's nervousness deepened by way of his voice.

I rested my other hand on his warm neck. "Do not fear my friend; Aslan will take care of us." The words, I knew, were true and they warmed me a little as daybreak came upon Narnia to light an unknown path before us.

We were silent after that, neither of us wanting me to be wrong. Finally I grew weary of the constant silence between us and tried to strike up conversation.

"What do you suppose all this is about?" I questioned though I didn't really expect him to know any more than I did.

"I h- had h- hoped you'd tell me Queen L- Lucy." The horse stammered. "Wh- Why are w- we following K- King Caspian?" Then like a second thought. "I- if you d- don't mind t-telling me."

I sighed deeply but opened up to explain some of the things that had been happening since I'd arrived in Narnia. The horse listened intently and I found that I did not mind telling him the truth. I knew he'd keep my words a secret. Not that there was anyone to tell, mind you.

The rest of that day was uneventful, quite boring actually. And by the fourth day my patience was wearing thin.

I made a plan for that very night that I would sneak into Caspian's camp when they stopped for another of their short nights rest. Perhaps I could find out some information to do with this whole...escapade.

Of course it would be risky but four days hard ride from the castle with scarce sleep made me think that if I got caught we were already too far from the start to try and send me back.

_Not that I would go if they did. _I thought stubbornly.

The night came more quickly than I would have expected and I had long since lost the men's' trail as they set up their usually hidden camp.

I placed a weary hand on Sparrow's shoulder. "Stay near my friend. I don't trust the silence in these woods."

The noble little horse shook his short mane in consideration of my words. "P- perhaps it is n- not so wise to wander o- off by yourself Majesty?"

"I have my swords and I'll be just fine." I shrugged my shoulders up humorously. "And besides if I get caught I'll only be among Caspian and his men, they'll do me no harm." _At least not physically. _I added to myself. _But I'll probably get a good berating. From Caspian, at least._

I refrained from mentioning to the young colt that he was most likely in more danger than I, staying here by himself.

"I- If you think i- it safe Queen L- Lucy."

Four days and the little horse still refused to call me just Lucy. "Lucy, my friend." I reminded pleasantly.

"O- of c- course, Queen Lucy." He replied like usual.

I gave a quiet sigh and stepped to place a kiss on the horse's nose. "Eat up and rest, I'll be back as soon as I can." Without another word I pushed aside the limbs of a small tree and ducked into the heavy foliage.

It was only just dusk and there was enough light to provide a bit of guidance to my nonexistent path.

_I wish I wasn't here by myself. _Shot through my mind more than once and always I corrected immediately. _But then, I'm never alone. Aslan is always with me._

I shoved at trees and grass, partially used to it by now after all of my...explorations of the last few weeks.

Caspian and his men had chosen well, they didn't mean for anyone to find them, least of all a stubborn, somewhat annoyed Queen of Old. And I wanted to keep it that way.

I dropped to my knees a short while later, feeling damp grasses soak into the knees of the pants I wore. Something was blocking my path. An almost hedge like wall of brambles rose above me, creating a barrier so completely and thickly woven that I knew it could not be coincidence that it stood here.

A barrier that I suspected would be easier to go under than over. I crawled forward, reaching to my waist to, for the first time since Caspian's room, pull out one of the two blades Caspian had given me.

I was still more than a little wary of the obvious magical quality the blades had held when I'd been snooping in Caspian's chambers.

_Why did they glow like that? _I wondered not for the first time. And more importantly to me. _Will they do it again? _If the swords were dangerous somehow I definitely did not need to throw them into the already boiling pot of mysteries surrounding me.

Whatever the blades might be I still had need of them and drew the one at my right out of its place in my sheath to chop away some of the brambles so I could make a sort of a tunnel.

The swords sharp blade cut through the foliage with an ease that spoke of a recent sharpening. I pushed forward with resolve little by little, more than a bit shocked at how thick the hedge like wall seemed to go in.

"It's like its trying to keep me out." I muttered out loud and under my breath. My hand paused in its assault of the brambles and I repeated the words to myself, just changing a few here and there. '' It's like someone wants to keep someone out."

I had a sudden inkling that I wouldn't be sneaking covertly into Caspian's camp this coming night. _Perhaps we've made it at last? _I raised my blade to hack at the last of the troublesome barrier, but stopped once more. This time because the sword I held was starting glow with a faint light.

I tilted my head with unease and was sure I shouldn't look away from it or let it go and lay it down.

There was something strange about it. I leaned back, resting on my heels. I rolled my shoulders back to free them from the nervousness caused by holding the sword. It didn't help. My shoulders twitched, wanting to inch up anyway.

Something tickled at the nape of my neck and I brought my hand up to brush away what I felt sure was a leaf. Instead, my fingertips brushed something warm.

_Like flesh. _

My head shot back and I arched my back so I could stare up in the small space I'd cut in the hedge. My eyes darted around above me but I could see nothing.

_Its nothin- _My inner comforting was rudely cut off when something moved in the brambles above me. I blinked as a nearly completely camouflaged pair of eyes met mine. Murky green was their color and their expression, indecipherable.

We both kept silent as we took the other in as best as we could and for a long instant we did not move.

Suddenly its hand broke free of the brambles the creature was tangled in and shot at me to knock the sword from my hand.

I reacted instantly, jerking back and slapping away the hand to keep it from touching me. The moment I was distracted shoving at his hand, it flashed a sharp toothed grin before dropping beside me, cackling manically.

Gasping, I reeled backwards towards the original way I'd come. There was no way I would intentionally stay in an enclosed space with the...thing. I backed to the opening but the thing followed after.

As I reached the opening I started to exit the blunt hole but something dropped in my way.

I squeaked, a scream rising in my throat as my eyes registered a second creature blocking my way out as the other identical one stared wickedly back at me from behind.

"What do you want?" I demanded; knowing fear wasn't an option. Both cackled together and the hair on my neck rose. I raised my blade and took a swing at the ugly creature in front of me.

It screeched at me and ducked away and I bounded from the hedge of brambles and into less thick brush, brandishing my sword for an attack but both creatures had disappeared.

With wide eyes I scanned about for them but both were gone.

Or so I thought.

Another bone chilling cackle could be heard from overhead right before a creature dropped on top of me, grabbing at my hair.

I stumbled at the unexpected weight, trying to dislodge the creature but it just cackled ever more at my antic, highly amused. I dropped to the ground and rolled to my back, letting my weight hold the creature captive against the ground.

It shrieked at me and clutched at me with its spindly, bony fingers, grasping my neck with a sticky hand.

I screeched and brought my elbow back with force, it collided with the thing and I was rolling and on my feet, slicing out with the sword I'd managed not to drop and into the creature with timeless seconds.

I didn't stop to survey the thin creature, but it reminded me of the more gruesome creatures I'd witnessed the night Aslan had sacrificed himself for my brother.

I was some feet away and further into the forest when I spotted the second creature. It watched me. Its murky green eyes seemed to glow with a reddish light as it saw its fallen friend and the strange blood that covered my blade's tip. It whined a high pitched sound and a long arm were raised to point at me accusingly.

I held my sword steady, waiting for the second creature to do anything. Its fanglike teeth were bared as it curled its lip at me. Still, it did not move, just studied me before uttering something I did not understand.

It didn't take much imagination to guess what he might be saying and its meaning.

It turned as soon as it said the incomprehensible words and ran off, disappearing into the surrounding forest without a glance back.

I was tempted to give chase but I had a sudden alarming thought. _Is Sparrow safe? _

Edwin's disappearance came to mind and I broke into a run myself, back in the direction I'd originally come from. At least I hoped it was the same direction.

I paid no heed to the rough path I'd traveled more slowly earlier. Limbs grabbed out at me, making me cringe and think it was the fingers of the creature I'd just slayed.

Scarce moments later I became aware of the sound of crackling branches. I slowed for an instant expecting it to be myself but the noise coincided with my own.

_I'm being followed. _I realized and broke back into a run. _All the more reason to find Sparrow._

The trees thinned a little as I came nearer to the area I'd chosen for Sparrow and I to rest that night. The little bay was nowhere to be seen and my heart pounded against my ribcage with fear.

Sardonic laughs came from a half dozen directions.

"Sparrow?" I called out, not really expecting any answer. I reached to my waist, pulling the second blade up out of its sheath, leveling it with its twin. "Sparrow, where are you?" I tried to keep the pleading quality out of my voice.

A laugh came again, this time closer and different, more mocking than the previous ones.

Noise of a scuffle came to my ears and the definitive squeal of a horse. "R- run Lu-" Sparrow called out the warning but a snort of pain came after, telling me he'd been cut off.

I gazed around me, anger burning in my chest. "The horse has nothing to do with this. Come," I raised my voice. "Fight me as you will."

The laughing stopped but no creature came forward.

"Cowards." The challenge rolled off my tongue with a courage born more of anger and fear for Sparrow than fearlessness.

The trees rustled all around me in the coming nightfall, a hiss of voices whispering amongst themselves.

"I am the one who killed the other." I said evenly. "Fight me."

An entire moment passed in complete stillness but then the trees to my right parted a little to allow a single figure to stroll into the area where I stood.

She was cloaked in a deep violet cloak, her face hidden. But I knew who it was. I knew exactly who it was.

"You look surprised Queen of Old." A smooth, feminine voice said from inside the cloak.

This was the creature that had stood and pushed me from the rooftops near Thomas' window. I felt sure of it.

She was taller than I by a head at least, her long fingernails like that of talons on a griffin to my spooked mind.

Somehow I spoke calmly. "I chose my fight with another but I will be glad to be rid of you."

The woman threw back her hood and let her raven locks rain down her shoulders, her face almost, but not quite, a mirror of the woman I'd killed days before.

The movement with her hood was meant to distract me so I wouldn't pay attention as her hand slipped to her waist and as she flicked her wrist. I knew to duck and sidestep as a tiny blade buried itself into a tree behind me where I'd been standing.

As if reading my very thoughts she said. "Did you really think it was that easy? That you would face nothing more than a few foul creatures as those?" She produced a large, curved sword from her cloak.

_A sabre._

"Their nothing more than messengers, worthless and incapable of doing what I demand of them. And unable to do what I was sent to do."

I moved into a predatory stance, ready for a fight. "And what exactly is it you were sent to do?" I asked, though I already knew.

Her pink lips curved maliciously. "We are going to kill you."

_We?_

Two more figures appeared from the forest and went to either side of the first.

My breath came faster from my lips. "And why is it you want to kill me?" I demanded.

The one to the first's right hissed at me. "You killed our sister."

I shifted almost too easily as another knife nearly took my hand off. "Oh, she was your sister? Guess we all have sister problems." My words were less an attempt at mockery but more of nervousness at the odds of the brewing fight.

The first smiled again. "More so than you realize young queen. Now," She raised her sabre at the same moment the two at each of her side's did and they moved to fulfill their words. "We won't make this quick, we've orders to let you die slow enough to watch those you love die as well."

My face paled at the thought of Thomas, Dannsair, Elle, everyone, even James and most of all...Caspian. _Caspian. _My thoughts froze at the thought of him. _Why do I care about him do much?_

"You'll die first." I spat out at the three.

A third knife came my way but this one I didn't step to dodge, I brought the sword in my left hand in a quick, downward motion and watched as the small knife collided with it, clanging and dropping to the ground.

Four pairs of eyes watched it fall.

And then...

In a figurative sort of way, I suppose you could say the dam burst. The three descended upon me with vengeance in their minds.

I froze for the briefest of seconds before bounding into motion.

_"Aslan help me." _Came from parted lips as I twisted my body, bringing one blade up whilst the other came down blocking a fatal blow to my ribs. I took no moment to feel proud of the perfection of the block but used a quick burst of energy to stab out at one of my three enemies.

One howled at me as my sword cut into her arm.

"You will pay for that young Queen!" She vowed.

I might've replied back with harsh words had I not been fending off an assault from the other two at my left.

When one of the three ventured too close I brought my elbow up and slammed it into her face. The sword in my right hand was jabbed upwards at an angle, a sliding motion so quick that it stunned even me to watch one of the three scream at me in a vile tongue as she fell.

Of the two left, the leader came forward while the other fell back to help her fallen comrade.

"It would seem we've underestimated Her Majesty." She hurled the words at me, her pink lips curled into a snarl.

"Is this nothing more than because of your sister?" I gasped out as I slipped underneath her sabre's blade; it brushed my neck as I moved away.

"Of course it is not! That is simply why _**I **_chose to come. She agreed to send me for she knew I'd show no mercy."

I brought my swords together and they slid against each other, screeching as they crossed in front of the demon woman's neck.

"Who is _She?"_ For a split second I thought of a clearing and a man calling after me. _"When she's ready, there'll be no stopping 'er." _

The already nearly night sky seemed to darken as the demon woman came to a painfully slow stop, smiling once more. Her eyes holding nothing but wickedness and hatred for me.

"_She _is your worst nightmare.

_She _is the one you'll come to regret ever knowing."

Her words were measured, a dreadful promise to my ears. And she wasn't through. Her next words made my hair stand on end as a chill crept down my back.

_"She _is the one who will smile as you lay dying at the hand of one whose betrayal is so great you just might wish for death before your end."

My stomach turned but I tried to ignore her words, simply raising my swords once more for if I had anything to do with it, I wouldn't be the one lying dead.

"You'll not win this fight." I swore as much as to myself as to her.

She cackled in response and then her blade was clashing against mine and we locked in a fight to the death.

It was not a graceful fight, it was one that shew no mercy to one's opponent.

Blood ran down a cut on my cheek and one on her forearm and leg before too long.

From out of nowhere a blow to the back of my head knocked me to my knees. So caught up in my one on one battle that I'd forgotten about the woman who'd fallen back to help her sister.

I sensed the movement more than saw it as a sabre came slicing down to pierce my neck. I made a screeching sort of sound as I jerked away but the blade still glanced off my left shoulder. My flesh screamed in protest of being ripped open but I tried to ignore it as I rolled out of the way and jumped only a little unsteadily to my feet.

_Aslan._

I could see a shadow fall over me and I swung about violently, striking out in defense. A shriek told me I'd hit my mark.

But not without a price.

Somehow the leader of the three now held my bottle of cordial in one hand. I paused and she grinned viciously at the bottle.

"No!" I cried out an instant before the bottle was thrown against the hard trunk of a tree. A thousand shards of glass scattered like fallen stars in a night sky on the forest floor. The crimson mingling with the grass, looking more like spilled blood.

A war cry sprang from inside of me and I shot towards her, my sword narrowly missing her neck as I took a swing at her.

She swung around in turn and tried to dislodge the sword of my right hand as it was my strongest.

Her sabre came down hard on my blade wrenching at my wrist. I grimaced against the pain knowing that her confidence in that move would be her downfall. I brought my knee up and into her abdomen and watched as she bent double, the air knocked from her lungs.

I halted with the tip of my sword at her neck. _I can't just kill her. She might know where Edwin is. _My mind reasoned calmly amidst the chaos of the fight.

"Witch," I asked, jerking her head up by her straggling hair. "Where is the little boy?"

She laughed harshly in my face. "Still so naive as to believe I would tell you?"

I scowled down at her. "Then you die." I replied.

"And you, in turn, no nothing." She responded sardonically, sure that she'd won this fight.

"So I know nothing but you still die and I'm free of you for good." I press my blade closer to her throat, harder. A thin line of blood trickled down her skin and my stomach churned at having been thrown back into this.

I didn't like to kill.

I didn't want to kill.

I saw the tiniest flicker of fear in the strangely iridescent violet of her eyes, though quickly concealed with hate.

"He still lives." She snapped.

A flicker of hope rose in my chest for the child. "Where is he?" The blade came still closer.

She winced before gasping out. "With her."

Now I was impatient. "Who is _**she?**_" I shook the woman slightly. This nonexistent **she **was starting to irritate me greatly. "Who is _**she**_?" I snapped out when I got no response.

"She is-" She was silenced as an arrow came slicing through the air and imbedded itself into her back, she fell forward heavily against me before slumping to the ground.

My eyes flew in the direction the arrow had come from. "Who's there?" I shouted. "Face me coward!"

I saw a flash of something tawny to my right and peered closely at the spot. _Should I follow? _Something made me turn and head into the foliage, warily; I let the thickest part of the forest swallow me as I left the clearing.

I spotted the movement once more and hurried on faster. This forest, I knew, was vast and I could easily get turned around. And I still had to find Sparrow, I hoped he was alright.

Another flash of tawny hair jerked me to the right of my wayward path and I hesitated before continuing on.

_What if it's a trap? _I clenched my teeth with indecision. Tawny hair caught my eye at the corner of my vision, making me swing around to search the thick forest.

"Who is it? Sparrow?" I called out uneasily.

A rustling of leaves made me swirl in a circle as the sound seemed to come from every side. _Aslan. _

I took a step towards the spot I'd seen the tawny color. Was I surrounded? But if I was, why didn't I feel wary? Uneasy of danger? I felt no fear and that made me curious.

"Aslan?" I whispered for suddenly I knew. "Will you not let me see you?" I pleaded to the seemingly empty forest around me.

"Look and see my child. I am here." A deep, wild voice rumbled from behind me.

I jumped about to see the Great Lion standing before me. He stood only a little taller than when I'd last seen Him, his mane silky and thick streaming over his neck. His dark eyes seeing all and knowing everything.

A grin split my face and I bounded forward to throw my arms around his neck. "I've missed you so much, Aslan!"

The beast chuckled, the Great Lion's chuckle reverberating through my very being. "And I, you, my child."

His nose prodded at me after a moment. "Child, tell me why you still doubt yourself."

His words brought back the moment on the Dawn Treader after I'd used a spell to make myself look as Susan did. I shivered at the memory and the promise I'd made that day.

"It is not my worth I doubt, Aslan," I murmured. "I- I-" I halted unsure of what I wanted to say.

"Go on, child." The lion told me.

"I-" I frowned as I concentrated on what I felt. "I love him." Blinking, my frown deepened even more as I realized what I'd just said. Everything that had happened and that was the first I chose to say. And was it even true? But as I said it I knew that I did in, fact, love Caspian. Regardless of what had happened in the past, I couldn't stop forgiving him. I cared too much about him to hold a grudge against him.

"I know, my young Lucy." The lion said.

I jerked my head to stare at him but I wasn't surprised. "And what am I to do about it? I- I can't-" Unexpected tears formed in my eyes and I looked away.

"Dear one," Aslan said comfortingly, pressing his warm nose into my palm. "Love is not a weakness. You love truly Lucy Pevensie."

I took a calming breath and started to ask something.

The Great Lion stopped me gently. "You have many questions, I know and all will be answered in time. I came to give you a choice."

I nodded in reply.

"You may go home as you like. Or you may continue with the path before you. I must warn you that the path before you now is a dangerous one, one that will require many sacrifices and at the end you may not find things how you'd wish them to be. In turn, the way home is open to you, Dear One, but if you choose this path you must understand that you can never return."

"Aslan how is it that I came to be here once more? I- I thought that I wouldn't be coming back after last time." I questioned the lion.

The lion stepped around me. "One's story is your own but another's crosses with yours and it is something they must choose to tell you willingly. A sacrifice was made for your return; a choice was made as one must be made now."

My head tried to comprehend the words but they spun about like a riddle in my head. "I must choose my path now?"

The Great Lion's deep eyes showed sympathy.

I sighed lightly, already knowing what my path would be.

Where I belonged.

Who I truly was.

My path would be...

_**Well, did you like it okay? Review and let me know but be nice. :)**_


	17. Thomas' Innocence

**Chapter 17- Thomas' Innocence, Early Morning Fights and Tomorrow We Fight**

My choice was obvious. I couldn't abandon Narnia and its people. _My _people.

"Is that your choice then Dear One?" Aslan jarred my gently from my tumultuous thoughts.

"It is." I whispered to the magnificent beast.

Aslan looked at me slowly like he was searching my heart, my soul. He took me in with a sorrowful expression to match only the one he'd worn the night of his sacrifice. I'd never seen that expression directed at me and it scared me for a moment but in the presence of such as Aslan no one can ever feel afraid long, so my fear drifted away as only a fleeting thought.

"You have chosen well, child, for the sake of those you care for. For that I give you another choice freely."

I blinked. _Another choice? "_What choice?"

The Lion watched me closely for a moment before saying. "You'll find out in time. You'll know what I speak of my child. The decision is solely your own. Now," The lion nudged me in the arm with his large nose. "Dear One I know you still doubt many things,"

I ducked my head a little shamefully. I knew it was true.

"Trust is never an easy thing but there will come a time when you'll have to choose to trust the ones you truly care for."

I nodded, for I knew that. I just wasn't sure I would be able to trust Caspian with...the feelings I had for him.

"And Lucy," His voice prodded me to look into his eyes. "I am never far away. I am always with you."

Tears rose in my eyes again. I had a suspicion of what those words meant; they were a parting for now. _Not a tame lion. _I squeezed my eyes shut and threw my arms about the great lion's neck. "I thank you Aslan. I thank you for allowing me back here, whatever the reason." A few tears traced down my cheeks.

Very slowly I lifted my head and loosed my arms from the lion's neck. "When will I see you again?"

The lion backed towards the trees smoothly. "Only time will tell. But remember, my child, I am always with you."

I nodded and watched him fade into the forest. _I know. _And I did. I truly did.

"Lucy!" A voice called out to me from the forest's dense pathways.

I startled in the direction of the voice. "Sparrow?" I broke into a slow run as the horse called out to me again.

"Queen Lucy!"

Seconds later I could hear the sound of brush being crushed under the horse's hooves as the horse came to me.

I saw the brown hide of the animal coming through the trees at a canter and ran to meet the horse, throwing my arms around his neck. "I'm so glad you're alright!" I paused as the horse's entire body tensed and looked to his face. "Wha-" I cut myself off as I glanced behind me to where the young horse looked. I couldn't see as far as Sparrow could but I knew what he saw, it was written in the awe on his face.

I'd seen it before. Particularly the day Trumpkin had met Aslan face to face. I smiled at the memory and the one I could now add to it.

I stood back and waited patiently until the horse turned to look at me as if only just then noticing me.

"I saw Him." Was all he said and for the first time since I'd met him, he did not stutter.

"I'm glad." I replied back.

Then he seemed to snap back to realization and he asked. "Are you alright, L- Lucy?"

I laid a hand back on his shoulder. "I am fine my friend. What about you? I thought they had you."

The horse shivered under my fingertips. "There were these...animals, e- except they d- didn't smell like normal animals and they climbed all over me and tried to make me stay put, away from you. I- I took care of them right!" The little horse stomped his hoof bravely. "I did!"

I smiled in relief and a bit of amusement. "I bet you did."

The horse glanced to me and now I saw concern on his face. "Y- you're bleeding!"

I looked down at myself for the first time since I'd fought the women and remembered the blows I'd taken. I was quickly becoming aware of the throbbing in my shoulder. I reached to gently lift the fabric so I could see how badly the wound ran. My stomach churned at the sight of blood and I grimaced in pain.

The wound didn't look too deep but it was deep enough. I knew it needed cleaning and dressing or it might become infected, especially since I had no idea if the witch's blade had been poisoned. And I wasn't about to underestimate them or this mysterious _she _person again.

Sparrow sucked in a deep breath nervously. "Is it too bad M- majesty?"

I made myself smile and gently released the fabric. "It's not too bad, I'll be fine."

The horse didn't look at all convinced of that and I didn't blame him, the blood soaked sleeve of my shirt made my words look a lot like a lie.

"I- I think you should d- drink some of y- your cordial, Lucy." His use of my name made me realize how serious he was.

I wrinkled my nose at his statement though, as I remembered the sound of glass shattering and my cordial soaking into the forest's floor. _I really could have used it right now. _

The horse stepped closer though I could tell the scent of my blood made him uneasy. He nudged at my good arm.

"My bottle of cordial was destroyed, my friend." I said simply.

The horse's expression wasn't hard to read. He looked scared.

I sighed and looked away from him. "Why do you suppose whoever this is wants Peter's sword, Susan's dresses, my daggers and cordial? And why not anything of Ed's?"

My eyes widened as I saw the expression change on the horse's face to one of a silent question that he did not dare ask. I felt anger rise inside though I couldn't blame the horse. The only thing that hadn't been stolen was Ed's things. _Ed's things. _The insinuation irritated me.

"My brother is not a part of this." I whispered a little bit more harshly than I'd intended.

Sparrow did not look upset at my tone but nodded his head. "As you s- say, Queen Lucy. He is your b- brother, not mine."

I turned my head to stare into his eyes. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't snap at you, but I know Edmund, he wouldn't..." I trailed off, shaking my head. "He's not a part of this." So why couldn't I control a sliver of doubt that threatened to creep into my heart? I reached and shoved my hair away from my face and to dislodge the thought.

"Come, we need to find a safe place to place to rest for the night. It's too dark to continue on like this."

The horse nodded in agreement and said. "I f- found a stream nearby b- before those things attacked me. W- we need to get you washed up."

I gestured with my good hand. "Lead on."

~X~X~X~X~X~X~

Minutes later after wandering in a large, winding, half circle we came upon a little stream. It was shallow, hardly a foot deep anywhere I could see and clear. It ran fast in some places and merely stood in others.

Looking around I gently knelt on one knee to gulp down some fresh water. It was deliciously cool to my lips and it refreshed me greatly.

Sparrow stood a few feet downstream and drank as well. After glancing around one more time I slipped off my boots and stepped into the cool water, walking into the very middle and kneeling so I could rinse my wound.

I peeled away the sleeve of my shirt, pulling it down to reveal my shoulder. I turned at an angle so Sparrow wouldn't be able to see the wound. It would only serve to scare him. And it really wasn't that deep, the witch's blade had just barely brushed my skin and with it a layer of my flesh had been scraped off.

I bit my lip in concentration so I could rinse the wound. I cupped one hand in the water and tipped it over the wound, letting the clear water wash away my blood, dried by now. A little blood still ran from the wound but I could take care of that. I wasn't completely reliant on my cordial.

I grasped at the pack at my waist and opened it, taking one of my cleaner shirts and tearing a strip off. After dousing the wound again I wrapped the strip of clean cloth around it and bound it.

I felt Sparrow watching me, wanting to ask if my wound was alright and I turned to give him a half smile. "I'm fine, it will heal quickly." I said to answer his unasked question.

The horse seemed only a little satisfied at the remark but he kept quiet and we set off to find a more secure area to rest. Although I had a feeling that I wasn't going to be sleeping all that much tonight.

~X~X~X~X~

As it was I was more tired than I'd assumed and my head drooped sleepily before too long and I fought the sleep. It came anyway and I fell asleep more easily than I'd ever have expected.

The next time I woke was when a hand closed over my lips and a voice said in my ear.

"Did you think you were going to get away that easily?"

My eyes widened in fear and I kicked out with one knee and the person leaning over me winced visibly as I rolled over, pushing him away as I rolled on top of him, my hand reaching to close over its throat and hold whoever it was down.

As if they'd expected the move, they caught my hands before I could latch on very well. And in response I was suddenly flat on my back with someone leaning over me, holding me still. A voice came to me.

"Stop fighting!" It hissed but I was already too far lost to my fighting senses. I twisted and shoved at the person. The voice came again as we tussled a moment against the other.

"Lucy will you stop? It's Thomas!"

I froze and tried to peer through the darkness and I realized that it was indeed, Thomas. And then, of all the things I might have said or done the one thing I did do was blush. A bright red I was sure, as my face burned with heat. I was after all half on top of him.

Quickly, I rolled away a good few feet and stood as he did.

"I suppose I should have expected that after the other night." Came Thomas' wry voice from the darkness a few feet away.

My face was still burning and I was thankful for the darkness hiding my expression. Just as quickly however, my embarrassment turned to anger of a sort.

"Why are you here?" I snapped. "Why did you follow me? And _how _did you even get here?"

I heard Thomas move beside me. "Wasn't quite the welcome I was expecting." I heard him mutter before saying a little annoyed himself. "And what of you Your Majesty? How could you expect me to let you come all this way unaccompanied? You could have been injured or worse." He snapped back, making me think he'd been planning his response since he'd learned I'd left Calormen.

"I can take care of myself!" _Why do I always end up saying those exact words to everyone in my life? _

"And tell me Queen Lucy, what do you think would have happened if it hadn't been me coming into your camp this night and someone else?"

I scowled at him, though I knew he couldn't see my expression. _I thought that I wouldn't be asleep. _"It wasn't." I responded simply.

"But what if it had been?" Thomas pressed and I felt his larger hand wrap around mine. "I don't want anything to happen to you, Queen Lucy."

I could feel his breath just touch my cheek and I felt tense at his words, however sweet they may have been. Caspian confounded me and yet Thomas just added to my confusion. And James? I didn't even know what feelings he might or might not have for me. I wasn't sure I wanted to know.

I ran a finger over Thomas' smooth knuckle. "I'm fine and now that you know that I want you to go back to Calormen. Back to the castle." I clarified smoothly.

Thomas squeezed my hand gently. "I'm not going back." He said firmly.

"Why not?" I questioned in exasperation. "If I get caught in Caspian's camp, I know he'd be just ecstatic to see you as well." I said caustically.

Thomas laughed roughly. "I'm not afraid of Caspian."

"And neither am I, but I don't want you to get hurt. Don't you think if we get caught then he'd have you imprisoned again?" I argued softly.

"Then we don't get caught." Thomas murmured back and I could just see his foggy breath as the light started making its way down upon Narnia and upon a morning of a day that would hold a great many surprises for me. His words were a promise within themselves.

He wasn't leaving and that was that.

Sighing, I raised my head to look up at a splotch of sky I could just barely see. "How did you know where I was? We were at least a day's ride ahead of you when you were supposed to find out."

I sensed he was smiling at me when he said. "Oh, I forgot to mention that I brought a friend."

My head jerked back to look at him. "What? Who came with you?" Though I had a sudden sneaking suspicion that I knew and I winced as a voice came from somewhere very near.

"That's right, Your Highness. You've got some explaining to do. And an apology wouldn't be out of order." Dannsair's entirely too cheerful voice called out quietly.

"Dannsair?" I hissed at Thomas. "You had to bring Dannsair?"

"I heard that." The winged horse replied, adding. "And as I recall it was I, who brought Thomas."

Frowning, I glanced at Thomas. "How did you know I'd be here?" I questioned once more.

Thomas reached and rubbed a hand on the back of his neck, betraying a little discomfort. "I knew you'd be following Caspian and his men." He said this quietly, his voice telling me more than his actual words did.

_He knew where Caspian was going. _I realized, though it should have been clear to me beforehand. He'd once been a part of their group, so of course he'd know where they'd meet.

"You knew where I'd be going and just went and waited until we stumbled into each other." It wasn't really a question, just a statement.

"Well," Thomas smiled slightly. "Stumbled might be the wrong word."

"You're lucky I didn't run you through." I said to cover my embarrassment as I eased forward to where Dannsair stood, talking to an awkward sounding Sparrow.

I hugged the golden horse for I had felt guilty at leaving her as I had.

"We have a great many things to discuss, young lady." She snorted at me.

I pulled away from the hug so I could look at her. "I know, but not this," I looked up at the small piece of lightening sky. "Morn. I've something I have to do first."

The horse made a groaning sort of noise at me. "I'm tempted to make you go back to the castle, but," She said louder to my hard look. "I'll simply settle for going with you wherever this task takes you."

I took a step back from my friend so she could fully see my frown. The very reason I left you behind at the castle," I said to her. "You've already been hurt once because of me."

Thomas broke in here. "What do you mean? What happened?"

Dannsair ignored him and gave me a stern glare. "I chose to come with you both, then and now. It was not your doing that got me hurt. And I refuse to stay behind." _Useless. _She didn't say it but I knew that she wanted to say it. She knew I couldn't, that I wouldn't refuse her after she said that because it was something akin to the way I'd felt whenever I got left behind.

More recently when Caspian had left me behind.

I turned away from Dannsair, knowing she could read the defeat on my face. To Thomas I said. "What can you tell me about this place where Caspian and his men meet?"

Thomas shifted away from me and stared at a tree. "That it is no place for you and you should do as Dannsair says and go back to the castle." He replied gruffly.

I didn't even bother with a sigh. "Thomas," I started patiently, "I'm not going to bother arguing with you, if you came all this way just to stop me then I'm sorry to say it was for nothing. I have to find out what's happening and why this danger has come upon Narnia...I have to find Edwin."

Thomas touched my hand. "I'm not going to try and stop you because I know that won't happen." Thomas reached and brushed the back of his hand over my cheek and I froze, hearing Dannsair shuffle back and ask Sparrow something, giving us privacy that only one of us wanted.

His hand was warm in the early morning's cool air. And his voice was meant to be comforting and in a way I suppose it was. "I'm going with you." His lips came before I could stop him and he let them pause above mine as he grinned mischievously. "And you're not stopping me either."

"What's our plan? The days coming on quickly and we must make haste." Dannsair called out and I had a feeling she knew what was about to happen.

Thomas did not kiss me, simply brushed away a strand of hair from my forehead before taking a step back. I swallowed hard, my mouth dry, glad of the interruption.

I tried to shake the moment free from my head but I still stuttered. "T- there's a wall near here and I'm going to find a way through it. I believe that if we can get through it we'll find Caspian and his men." I tossed a quick look to Thomas. "Am I right?"

Thomas clenched his jaw for an instant before nodding his head. "The hedge is a wall that separates good from evil. The hedge was created to keep evil out and it only allows one who is truly good in."

I rolled my eyes disdainfully. "So after yesterday I could have just walked a few feet and been perfectly safe?" _Well that could have been useful information._

"What happened yesterday?" Thomas and Dannsair asked at the same time.

I grimaced inwardly. _I have got to be quiet. _"It doesn't matter," I replied hurriedly. "Let's go on through the hedge so we'll at least be safe for the moment."

Thomas looked as if he was going to pursue the subject but I cut him off. "Do you remember a way in? I started cutting a path but Dannsair and Sparrow won't be able to get in that way without a lot of work."

He nodded but pressed his lips together, a promise that he would be pursuing the subject of yesterday's battle later. "This way."

~X~X~X~X~

A good half hour later we'd made it to the hedge like wall and the four of us looked on from the spot as a slight movement caught our eyes. We all kept silent but we all knew what it was.

_A guard. _My mind whispered the warning to me.

Simultaneously we all drifted back into the thicker forage to keep from being seen. Confusion clouded my mind. "If the wall keeps out evil then why do they need a guard?"

Thomas moved at my shoulder. "The wall is there to keep evil out but that doesn't mean some won't try and get in. Over time spots in the wall have weakened and it's better to have someone watching, keeping guard over it and stop whoever might try and enter."

"So how do you suggest we get in?" I questioned impatiently.

"I suggest we go through a door in the hedge. It stands a little ways," He pointed a finger in the distance to the left. "That way."

"And are we to assume that there won't be guards there?" I asked with raised brow.

Thomas shot me an amused look. "No, I'm not going to assume, but it was the least used door to get in. I'm hoping we could, if nothing else create a distraction to get in."

"Let's go on then, we've wasted enough time." I replied impatiently.

Another little while passed and Thomas, Sparrow and I all stood waiting very near to the hidden door Thomas spoke of. We were waiting for Dannsair, as soon as we'd arrived at this spot Thomas had suggested we send Dannsair up on a careful flight to see if she could give us any information on the trap I'd be walking into.

I eased back against a tree, resting lightly. Gingerly, I brushed my fingers over my hurt shoulder, it ached but it hadn't bled much from what I could see. I traced my fingers over it and closed my eyes, thinking of what I was going to do. My mind had other plans though and all I saw was Caspian's face.

The way he'd looked when he'd made me promise not to get myself into anymore danger. His eyes, so dark and secretive of late. His lips more tempting than anything I'd ever known. _But was it all a lie? _

"Lucy?" Thomas' hand touched my arm, making me jump.

"What is it?" I asked as he looked at me with gentle eyes.

He shook his head. "Perhaps we should rest a bit before sneaking in?"

"I wasn't asleep," I replied. "I was just thinking."

Thomas slipped down to sit beside me. "Might I inquire what you were thinking?"

I bit down on the inside of my lips, wondering if the truth was my best option with Thomas. Did he really want to know I'd been thinking about Caspian? "Caspian." I finally admitted. That statement was met with silence and I hurried to say something more. "I don't understand why he's being so secretive about everything."

Thomas shifted beside me, leaning closer. "What is it that you think he's keeping from you?"

I rolled my eyes to the sky. "Everything. This danger in Narnia. Even though I know about the notes he's gotten he's never actually told me about them." I said. "I was never supposed to know." I halted for a second and then went on. "And this group," I glanced at Thomas. "I know that from what you've said their trying to do good. But how good can they really be if..." I trailed off at Thomas' slightly pained look.

"How good can they really be if they condemn an innocent man?" He finished for me, a knowing look on his light features.

I watched him silently for a moment before saying. "Not even that, the way some of Caspian's men act...they show no respect for anyone, except him of course."

"And which ones might that be?" Thomas' voice was suddenly more attentive, he listened even closer. "Do you know their names?"

I frowned a little at his reaction. "Some of them. Trian, Eosu and James mostly."

When Thomas spoke again he had a little sardonic twist to his lips. "Perhaps they did not know who you were?"

"It was a courtroom meeting with Caspian." I said bluntly. Thomas made a hmphing sort of noise that prompted me to fully turn and stare at him. "What does that mean?" I demanded.

Thomas refused to look back at me. "His men were disrespectful to you and His Majesty did nothing to stop it." Thomas replied and there was a mocking edge to be heard that did not please me at all.

But a small part of me, the same part that for a brief instant wanted to doubt Edmund, wondered at the truth in Thomas' words. _But it wasn't quite like that. _I thought to myself and then voiced the thought to Thomas. "It wasn't quite like that, they weren't openly disrespecting me. It was more..." I paused. "More, they would not speak in front of me because of the secrecy surrounding everything."

Thomas didn't say a word but I knew he doubted what I said; he had no reason to believe that the very men that had condemned him would respect me in any way. And I still wondered why, if Thomas _was_ innocent, and I believed him so, why could he not be found innocent?

I looked to the sky, watching a small bird fly above before swooping down into a treetop. _The only person who has truly and openly disrespected me is James. _I thought with a frown and my mind whispered another name that I did not want to think. _And Caspian, sometimes. _

Caspian's disrespect, or so I hoped, sprang from worry for my safety and not actual want for disrespect to me.

Finally, I spotted Dannsair as she came back to the place we waited for her. Her presence was welcome as the silence grew longer and thicker between Thomas and I.

She came to a light stop as she landed and called out to us. "I scanned around this side and saw no one, I even went as far so I could see the gate we first started at and the guards have disappeared there as well. No one is to be seen anywhere."

"That's odd." I commented with a little frown on my lips.

Thomas, however seemed to disagree with that assumption as he said. "Their meeting."

"Their meeting?" I repeated questioningly.

Thomas ignored my question and turned to stare me in the eyes. "And you're sure you want to sneak in? There's no way I can convince you to go back?"

I returned his gaze firmly and repeated his words back. "There's no way you can convince me to go back."

"Very well." He muttered darkly and looked to the horses. "You will be safe from danger in this forest. Make sure you stay far back so as not to be seen but stay close to this area so as we can find you again." He ordered the horses.

I watched him as he did so, studying his face. His lips, usually with a good humored twist to them or even a serious look to them, looked..._nervous? _

_Not even that, _I thought, a crease in my brow. _Fear. He's scared. _The word came to me unexpectedly and I scowled deeply with confusion. _Why on earth would he be scared? _

I hugged each of the horses and said a word of goodbye, be careful and Dannsair ordered me to stay by Thomas' side and to not run into anymore danger purposely, to which I agreed. It wasn't exactly like I tried to do it.

But the fear that caused that look on Thomas' face I couldn't quite get out of my mind. The frown that showed on his lips was so deep that it caused the dimple he had to come out, though it usually only showed when he grinned widely.

_Is he worried about Caspian? _Though Thomas had made every effort to show the very opposite, I had to wonder. We walked only just out of hearing distance of the horses when I said. "You don't have to come with me, I can go alone. If I get caught I'll be fine but I don't want you getting hurt because of me."

Thomas waited until we stood before the hidden door to reply. "We won't get caught."

I sighed as his fingers disappeared into a thick wad of vines and he sought something. Minutes passed and I finally whispered. "What are you looking for? I'll help."

He made a face. "There's a crevice in here but I can't fit my hand into it." And then he pulled his hand free of the mass, reaching his now free hand out to me. "Here, I think your hand will fit." I laid my hand in his palm and he pulled me in front of him, resting his other hand on top of mine to guide it to the right spot.

His hands were warm on mine as he guided me to a small hole in the wall behind the vines. "Can you feel it?" He asked quietly and I turned my head to nod but froze as I saw his eyes. _He wants to kiss me. _Shot through my head.

There was precious space between our lips when I managed to turn my head a little and whisper hoarsely. "I found it."

Just like that the moment was broken and I wasn't sure if I was more relieved or puzzled by the chagrined look on his face.

"There should be a lever in that crevice, just pull it down a little." He said, like nothing had happened.

He didn't meet my eyes again and I didn't force his gaze just turned to watch as a small portion of wall slid aside, letting us in rather too easily, I thought.

I followed as Thomas stepped towards that door and I looked up to see a carved lion's head on the piece of wall. Its mane wispy and flowing about his magnificent face.

I was so caught up in the image that I didn't see Thomas stop in front of me until I ran into him. I stumbled as he didn't move, he didn't even turn to steady me. Frowning, I stepped around him to where he was standing just outside the line of wall.

"What's wrong?"

Thomas shook his head and still didn't move, his lips were pressed together and he had the same look about him as he'd had just a little earlier.

"Thomas?" I questioned. "What is it?" I grasped his shoulder, shaking him a little but something he'd said came back to me right then. _The wall keeps out evil. But he couldn't think he's evil, could he? _I wondered disbelievingly.

"Thomas." I said and the way I said his name demanded his attention. He still did not look at me and I let my hands slide into his. "You're not bad. I told you that I could see in your eyes that you were good." His eyes flicked past me and I went on. "Believe me when I say that you can trust me and even more than that you can trust Aslan. Whatever anybody's accused you of, you know the truth, _and I_ know the truth." I stepped backwards, crossing the invisible boundary that kept Thomas out. "You are innocent."

Our hands locked and I gently pulled towards me. "Trust me."

Thomas' greenish eyes met mine and he let me pull him past the wall until we stood on the same side. I could see his chest rise with a deep breath. "I'm sorry."

I touched his cheek softly. "Don't be sorry. Look, you said the wall won't allow evil. You now stand on this side."

Thomas however, did not look away from my face. "You are a magnificent girl, Lucy." He murmured. "I thank you."

I gave him a comforting smile. "I did not need the wall to be convinced of your innocence, Thomas. Now, I think we should be going before we do get caught." I suggested quietly.

"Yes, yes, of course." He said, tightening his hand on mine and pulling me with him further into the almost fort like structure. He pulled me into a half run, and I let him guide me as I gazed around a bit.

The seeming fort like structure looked like a small village inside, there were small houses in a half circle on either side of the structure, each well placed and well-built making me wonder when this place had been used. I had never been here before and I knew Narnia and its surrounding countries well.

_It must have been built after we left Narnia the first time. _I realized with great curiosity. I made a promise to myself that when everything was normal again and if I was still speaking to Caspian I would ask him about it.

"Lucy, this way!" Thomas hissed at me, pulling me to the side of one of the small houses. He released my hand and dropped to his knees, crawling forward and searching the ground with both hands. "There should be a secret door into this house and if we can get..." He trailed off and then exclaimed. "I've found it! Now, hope that nothings been changed since the last time I've been here."

I wrinkled my nose in impatience as he pulled up a wooden door, cleverly hidden with a patch of grass and leaves.

"And where is this going to take us?" I questioned him.

Thomas backed up and stood, pulling me with him. He quickly stepped back to the edge of the house and said. "There."

I peeked around the corner and took in something that I had managed to miss in my studious examination of the place. Another structure stood taller than the others, hidden almost from view by the other smaller houses.

I could only just see the tip of its pointed roof and a little of the ivory color of its stone walls. It looked foreign from what I could see, not something Narnian's usually built.

I turned around to see Thomas back at the hidden door he'd opened and stepped after to follow him as he gestured me into the hole.

I frowned as I crawled gingerly into the hole, seeing only darkness and not liking it. "Is this the only way we can get in?"

Thomas voice sounded hollow as we went on, him with more confidence than I in the path. "This is the best way without getting caught or being seen."

"And you couldn't have brought a light?" I grumbled as I scraped my palm on the hard floor. My shoulder ached a little as I bumped into the wall at my right.

There was a pause and I stopped when I ran into him for the second time that day. Then he said. "Actually," A light brightened in the darkness. "I managed to borrow this." He reached his hand back for me to take Ed's lantern.

I smiled despite myself and took it. "And how did you manage to _borrow_ this?"

He smiled back at me. "I might have had a little help.

"Elle?" I guessed, handing him the lantern back.

"She did not tell me her name. But she suggested that I might have need of it if I was following you." He took the lantern back and gave me a curious look before turning and continuing on. "I'd not thought you'd told anyone about me."

I shook my head slightly in thought, coming to the conclusion that...I hadn't. And I voiced the thought. "I haven't." _Come to think of it, I've not told her a lot of things and yet she seems to know a good deal. How? _

"That's rather odd." Thomas commented.

"Yes, it is...but," I smiled a half smile. "I think there's more to Elle than I know. If we ever get back to the castle and figure this out I'll have to ask about that."

"You wish me to come back to the castle with you?" He asked, his voice hardly above a whisper now, as if he feared my answer.

I couldn't help but wonder at the other question that I knew was hidden in that sentence. I did want him to come back to the castle if all went well, though I was rather hoping that by then he might've been proved innocent.

"Of course I want you to come back to the castle, if you want to that is. By then I'm hoping it will be safe for you." _And everyone will be convinced of your innocence. _I couldn't tell if he was pleased by my answer or not and I wasn't going to ask him.

The next time he spoke he said. "We'll have to enter the house we were just outside and head downstairs, there'll be an underground tunnel that will take us as far as the structure I showed you and from there we'll have to be extremely careful getting to the courtroom, where they'll be holding the meeting."

As he said all of this he was already pulling open another door and sliding his feet in front of him and slipping out of the tunnel we'd just come down. I crawled forward as quickly as I could, demanding.

"A meeting?" This was something new. "What do you mean? How do you know?"

He held out his hands to catch me as I slid from the tunnel. "I don't _know_. It's just what I guess. There are men from all over Narnia and its surrounding countries that are a part of this group under Caspian's reign and if Caspian has come this far the problem has to be serious."

"Serious enough to call them all to order here." I finished for him.

"Serious enough that he's thinking this is bigger than anyone realizes and war is not out of the question." Thomas added seriously.

His hands rested on my waist for a moment they didn't have to as he stared at me deadly serious. "The last time I know one was called was a few years ago, the very same year you and your siblings came when Caspian called you with Queen Susan's horn."

"And this meeting is the one you referred to days ago? When Caspian suspected his uncle of something?" I asked.

Thomas nodded as he led me through a sparsely furnished sitting room and down a short set of stairs. "But we had several meetings in those days, everyone felt there was a storm brewing with Miraz and his followers and we were preparing for anything."

_Just not getting accused of it. _I said silently.

"Can you remember anything about the man you ran into? You said he wore the ring but was there anything else?"

Thomas slipped open a door to a tunnel that would take us to the structure he'd spoken of. "If there was I would have remembered it by now, Lucy." He replied with tolerance. "Whoever he was he sent me back to the castle and there were at least a dozen men waiting for me, they set upon me and I was dragged back to one of our meeting places and condemned." His tone sounded weary as he repeated the story to me and I felt guilty for making him. "But by some miracle Caspian's tutor got word of the assassination and managed to get there in time and well...you know the rest."

And I did. From then on Caspian had run and blown my sister's horn and the four of us, three on the brink of giving up, had been transported back to Narnia. And Caspian's uncle had been stopped.

I shook my head slightly to rid myself of the memories as Thomas announced back to me.

"We're here."

I paused with caution, waiting as he carefully flipped something on the wall to one side and an unbearably loud _CREAK _came from the wall as it slid open. I jumped at the sound.

_Oh, please don't let anyone have heard that. _

Thomas was likewise still in front of me but nothing happened, no one appeared to capture us and after a long instant of holding our breaths Thomas pushed the piece of wall to one side slowly. A crack just large enough for us to slip through.

Thomas did not move to go out though; he waited until I was standing by his side and then asked.

"This is your last chance to go back."

"I know." I whispered.

He gazed at the crack. "This will be the hardest part. We'll have to be as quiet as possible, sound travels well from the outer rooms to the inner courtroom."

I nodded at him, scowling at that. "And does that go both ways? If we get close could we hear this meeting from somewhere outside the actual room?"

"Sadly, no." He replied with a dry grin. "The only way to hear is to be _in _the room or _above _the room. And since we'll not be giving Caspian and his men a pleasant surprise this day, we shall be going above." He tossed me a suddenly mischievous grin, telling me that he was starting to enjoy this venture. "Would you like to know how?"

"Yes." I gave him a solid shove in the back. "Now show me."

He chuckled lightly. "As you wish, Your Highness."

~X~X~X~X~

Minutes later, after half running down several hallways, cutting through three different rooms, one of which looked to be someone's bedchambers and me accusing Thomas of getting lost (very quietly, of course, as noise travels.) we finally came to a stop.

Or at least Thomas did. I ran into him once more.

"You seem to be doing that a lot today." He teased me in a whisper as he helped steady me.

"And you," I exclaimed quietly in mock irritation. "Can't seem to stop coming to abrupt stops directly in front of me."

He grinned and pointed at a drapery he'd stopped in front of. "This is where we go in. I need you to keep absolute silence after this drapery; we want no chance of being heard."

"After this drapery?" I asked him one last question.

He nodded at me and stepped to grasp one end of it, pulling it aside revealed five stone tablets. Each held a picture.

_Each holds part of a story. _I said silently. I reached and touched one testingly, letting my eyes follow the lines cut into the wall. Five different holes that would each hold a stone. _It's supposed to tell a story. _I gathered and you probably had to put the stones in order. It was a clever idea and one I'd not heard of before. _But what story is this? _

Five stone tablets.

I looked sideways to Thomas for I knew he was watching me. But he did not ask me what I thought, no, he simply said. "Caspian chose a story that not only meant something to him but something that only one who was truly a Narnian and free from evil would know.

I was already looking at the stone's again.

One held a stone table. _The stone table._

The second one held a lion, and it did not take much thought to realize who it was. _Aslan._

The third was of the stone table again, this time broken and two figures stood to either side. _Both decidedly feminine. _I said to myself thoughtfully. I knew exactly what the scene was. _After Aslan's sacrifice. _

The fourth stone showed a battle, it showed as two griffins locked in battle midair, one good, one evil and the people and animals on the ground were already viciously locked into their battle to the death. _The battle of the White Witch._

My eyes wandered down to the very last stone, this was the only one that didn't quite fit in with the others. It bore a carved picture of a face. A plain face, there was nothing extraordinary about it except that it held two expressions. One side of its face looked happy, cheerful and the other looked angry and violent. _What could this mean? _The cheerful side of the face was white and the other black. _Good and evil? _

I turned to face Thomas and said quietly. "What does the last one mean?"

Thomas, though, simply shrugged his shoulders. "I'm not entirely sure of it...Caspian had the other four made for this lock but that was the only one that was there to begin with."

My mind twisted with confusion and I reached to move the one of Aslan to the first slot, the one of the stone table unbroken to the second, the third of the battle with the White Witch. And the fourth and last of the story of the broken stone table, with two young girls who'd witnessed both a tragic and great thing that day.

Lastly, I hesitantly touched the fifth stone tablet and gingerly, feeling uneasy for some reason, moved it to the last empty place.

I'm not sure what I expected but I tensed with preparation, but the door just slid aside, making a crunching sort of noise and leaving a crack of a little over two feet, just wide enough for a person if they turned sideways.

"Why do you men believe in such small places?"

Thomas smiled and shook his head, pulling out Edmund's lantern once more.

"Let me go first." I ordered, holding out my hand for the lantern.

Thomas looked about to protest but changed his mind at my look, he handed me my brother's lantern and I turned sideways to slip into the passageway.

~X~X~X~

I raised the lantern as the path widened enough so I could turn fully and walk straight. Thomas was near behind me but didn't say a word, if he had something to say he would grasp my shoulder or hand and point me in the right direction, for every now and then we would come to other tunnels that branched off from the one we were in.

The one tunnel we were in was damp feeling and every now and then I felt a shiver make its way down my back as a drop of water would release itself from the low ceiling and drizzle down my back.

It was rather uncomfortable and I was glad for Thomas' company along the way. I wasn't sure how long we'd been in the tunnel until it widened out to the size of a small room. In fact, that's exactly what it was. A small room.

It held nothing but a window. _But, _I thought later on. _It didn't need anything else. _

The window was of stained glass. It was extremely large, reaching from the floor to the ceiling. More than a few feet taller than Thomas who was well above me in height. The glass was of crimson reds, emerald greens, and sky blue, yellow, the color of the sun, midnight blue, violet and an assortment of other colors. They were woven together to create a magnificent window of Aslan.

The lion stood proud, his teeth were bared, a terrifying and amazing thing to behold. Only one thing caught my eye...the window looked a little odd. _Like it's backwards maybe?_

I opened my mouth to ask Thomas, forgetting his no speaking rule but he wasn't at my side anymore. He was standing by the window, touching something at the lion's front paw. He waved me to his side and then gently eased a portion of it open.

There was a small door in the window and he swung it open quietly, just enough so he could peek out the crack.

_What are you looking at? _I wanted to ask but knew I couldn't.

After what seemed a really long time he turned back to me and made a quick gesture at me to follow him out the small door.

I knelt after him and crawled forward as he disappeared out the door. I paused before following him and gazed out to see what Thomas had been looking at.

The first thing I saw was the small platform that Thomas was already halfway across, it looked just large enough to hold two people side by side. I gazed further, my eyes looking over the side of the platform and gasped. Rows of seats were everywhere and they were filled with...men.

_The meeting room. _Instinctively I drew back to keep from being seen but after a moment I realized that the platform was large enough to keep me from their view as long as I didn't linger near the edge and I wasn't about to do that.

Partially reluctantly I followed Thomas' path and slid slowly and silently on the hard wood. Using my elbows, I wormed my way to where Thomas lay, waiting for me before he continued on.

I gritted my teeth together as we went on, farther and farther from that little door and over a room full of men. One of whom I did not want to find me, especially like this.

We were directly in the very middle of the large room when voices reached my ears. The voices of many men and then just one. Thomas had likewise stopped in front of me and he waved his hand for me to come beside him.

I moved and followed suit as he leaned his ear to the wood we lay on. The voices were clearer and louder. It took me a few moments to pick them all apart but soon enough I heard an unfamiliar voice speak.

"Is everyone present?" It asked. A round of voices followed his demand and then died back down to one.

"Is His Lord Marquise present?" Another male voice asked.

"Lord Marquise wasn't able to be here." The voice made my heart triple its beat and my shoulders tense up with anticipation. _Caspian._ And then his statement registered in my mind. _Why wasn't James able to be here? _

"Thank you, your Majesty." The first voice said politely. "If everyone else is present we'll get started."

There was a murmur of voices together and then several called out at once.

"What is the true meaning of this meeting?" One said, fear plain in his voice.

"There are people speaking of terrible things in Calormen!" This one sounded arrogant.

"Are we to believe that there is nothing to this as you claimed months ago Your Highness?" And this one angry and rude.

I eased forward so I could just peek over the edge and at the men who were speaking. But it was as if the other three men's words gave the rest courage to speak freely and a chorus of hundreds of voices rose together as they argued among themselves.

"Be silent!" Caspian's voice came across the room, not terribly loud but commanding their attention under no uncertain terms. Slowly the men quieted and turned to look at their king.

I couldn't see Caspian from where I lay but I could hear his boot steps as he strode down the room, taking in his men, his people. I couldn't see him but I knew he was watching, meeting the eyes of many of his men to gather their attention.

"This _was_ nothing months ago. I made the decision to ignore that warning and I assume everyone knows how it ended...?" Caspian trailed off and there was steel in his tone as he made to control himself.

_What warning did he ignore? _I wondered, hoping someone would say.

Caspian's steps stopped as he said. "That's why we're here today."

"And what's prompted such a meeting on such short notice?" One man called and several seconded.

"Many things my brother. Perhaps you remember a man named Thomas Delega?"

Voices escalated as one at that name and I rolled my eyes to the ceiling. _Why do they condemn him so easily? _

"He's returned to Narnia." Caspian said simply.

The voices of every man in that room sounded outraged at that, so much that it took several moments to quiet them enough so I could figure out their words.

Eosu, one of Caspian's men called out. "Do you think he's a part of this trouble we're having, King Caspian?"

Caspian seemed to think about this. "He's arrived after the trouble began but I won't rule him out of it until it's over." He replied firmly.

"And what other news do you bring us King Caspian?" Eosu asked.

And so Caspian started in on everything that had been happening, from my return, to the notes, to Edwin's disappearance and my killing the woman. Everything. His men would call out frequently throwing in their questions and input.

Thomas and I lay stone still for hours, I felt stiff and my shoulder ached from me leaning on it so long. All of this and I still hadn't learned anything I didn't know. Was my sneaking away for nothing?

I was just about to turn and gesture at Thomas to follow me back out when he grasped my shoulder all of a sudden and I jerked back to attention. I glanced at Thomas and he nodded at me to look down.

I leaned back forward, listening.

"Her Majesty didn't wish to accompany you this time?" One man asked and I knew he spoke mockingly of the night I'd come to the courtroom with Caspian. I clenched my fist in irritation.

Caspian's voice was stiff when he spoke, as if the man had hit on a nerve. "Queen Lucy stayed in Calormen at my request for her safety."

I winced as he said it and I knew Thomas was looking at me with raised brows. I avoided his look and stared down at the heads of various different men.

There came a chuckle from that same man as he opened his mouth to reply.

Caspian cut him off smoothly. "You would do well to think before you speak, Daston." His words were cool off his lips.

"What is your plan of action, King Caspian? If we are to stop them then we have to narrow down where they might be located." Eosu came back into the conversation.

"And what clues do we have as to their location?" Trian, one of my former companions, demanded.

"There are few." Caspian answered. "That's what we are going to change."

"How?" A dozen voices wanted to know.

"A distraction." Caspian said and his voice sounded sure. "We'll create a trap for them next time they strike."

The very first man who'd spoken asked. "There are many things that could go wrong with that plan."

All the men's voices became louder again as they debated that. Some agreed. Some disagreed.

Caspian had to wave them silent again so he could finish. "Now, if we can set up a trap and they come after me, we can either let them capture me and you follow, with me leaving a trail if I can. Capture one of their own and try and get the truth out of them or both."

My stomach twisted with distaste. _You can't put yourself in danger like that! _I wanted to tell him frantically. Thomas must have sensed my need to say something for he grasped my hand tightly in warning. I bit my lip and listened on.

"We can't allow you to put yourself in danger like that, King Caspian." Eosu spoke out, and all the men seemed to agree with that. "There are several men, including myself who will gladly give ourselves up for that."

I couldn't help but want to give him a smile and thank him for his loyalty but I kept silent.

"It has to be someone they want. They would kill any one of you without a moment's thought, but they will spare my life, at least for a time." Caspian argued not angrily, but quite simply with the confidence of knowing it was the only choice. _But it's not. _I said silently to him.

"It could just as easily be someone else." An unfamiliar voice argued.

Caspian finally walked into my line of vision and I felt my heart race as it had slowed down after laying here for hours. My skin tingled with a life that somehow only he could cause. His back was turned and I could only see his back and dark hair, pulled back away from his face and tied.

"You know why we can't do that." Caspian replied, his tone hard.

"Because Henry was killed?" One man dared to question. "That's one man who gladly gave his life for you, King Caspian. Are you to dishonor his memory by putting yourself in danger again?"

I grimaced at the bold statement that would've made anyone angry. _What happened that someone was killed for Caspian? _

"I'll not have another man go to his death because of me." Caspian's word was final, an adamant refusal that it be anyone else aside from him. He turned and I could see his face. It held a deadly seriousness that I'd not seen before. "This will end."

"It's decided then," The first man said. "We'll be ready within the hour if need be."

Caspian nodded his head at that and opened his mouth to say something else but he paused and turned his head a little and then looked up.

My heart felt like it stopped beating as his dark brown eyes came to a stop where I lay, my mouth half open as I froze to the spot. For an eternity it seemed his eyes lingered on my spot but then like a miracle they passed over and he said something I couldn't quite hear to his men.

And just like that, Thomas grasped my hand and jerked me back hurriedly. His lips at my ear he breathed out one word. "Run!" Breaking his no speaking rule.

I squirmed back around and slipped forward, glancing over my shoulder in caution as I flattened myself against the wood. _Can they see us from here? _It took precious seconds to get back to the small door in the glass window but here I had to pause.

If we just opened it and climbed back in we would be seen, I was sure of it. I peeked over my shoulder back at Thomas. He raised a hand a little, telling me that we wouldn't be going back that way. At least, not right now. _Or we might if we're very careful. _I slid towards the edge ever so slightly. And found that Caspian was nowhere to be seen. I jerked back and sent Thomas a wide eyed glance.

"What?" He mouthed the word.

Carefully, I peeked down again; searching the room just to be sure and still I could not find the handsome king. _He saw me. _I knew and I also knew that we needed to get out of there now.

As I'd seen the men's reactions to just Thomas' name, I did not fancy they would ask questions later if they found him here. On the other hand it would prove that he was innocent wouldn't it? Somehow I wasn't sure they'd be that understanding.

I glanced out again and figured it was as good a chance as any to try and get out. I wasn't sure how long it would take Caspian to get up here. I waved my hand swiftly at Thomas and then dove through the door, the young man beside me in a second.

I jumped to my feet, pulling the latch closed on the door and then Thomas grabbed my hand and we took off in a run down the way we'd come.

_But is there only one way up here? _I wanted to ask Thomas. Because if there truly was only one way in and out, Thomas and I would be trapped, the only way out being through Caspian.

We were in the long passageway and we came to the narrowest part, the part that was right before the stone tablets where we'd entered this tunnel. I slammed to a stop as I heard rattling from the piece of wall. I sent Thomas a wild glance and then turned back, shoving at him to move.

_Oh no. _Light peeked through from behind us and I bit my lip on a squeak. I flipped off Ed's lantern and we were plunged into darkness. Thomas' hand slipped into mine and he pulled me back down the tunnel again, as footsteps came quietly down the tunnel after us.

Suddenly Thomas pulled at my hand sharply to the side and he slipped into one of the many side tunnels that turned off from the main tunnel, pulling me with him.

Neither of us dared try and whisper to each other as we heard Caspian's quiet steps in the tunnel nearby. _I hope he doesn't have a light. _Thomas stopped and pulled me against him to the wall.

Caspian's steps seemed to pause for a moment, and I knew he was listening for us.

Swallowing, I gently moved from beside Thomas to in front of him. _If one of us is getting caught it has to be me. _Thomas dared not move to stop me lest we attract attention.

I had a feeling that Caspian was right in front of me, close enough that if I'd just reached ahead of me a little I could have touched him. My chest panged a little at how I was hiding from him. _Why aren't we on the same side this time? We're supposed to be fighting this evil together but instead we're fighting against each other. _

It seemed a long while before I heard the passageways door open as Caspian slipped back out. I had no doubt there would be guards there. I moved carefully, not fully sure that Caspian had really left. He could have just opened the door in an attempt to lure us out. _Or me. _I thought since I was fairly certain he hadn't seen Thomas.

Thomas' lips brushed my ear as he whispered. "I think he's gone."

I raised Ed's lantern slowly to flick it on but Thomas touched my wrist in warning. "Wait a moment longer, just keep a hold of me and I'll try and get us to another exit."

I nodded though he couldn't see me and grasped his hand once more.

~X~X~X~

An hour or so later, with growling stomachs and foul moods because every exit we had tried was blocked, we now we stood back at the very first one we'd entered.

"What now?" I demanded out loud, even though I knew he had no more an idea than I.

I heard him give a frustrated sigh. "I wish I knew."

I leaned against one wall and slid down to a sitting position. I grasped the small bag I hadn't left with Dannsair and pulled it open. It held a small crust of bread and I still had a canteen half full of water. "Here." I offered, holding out the two.

Thomas gave a wan smile. "You first."

Even now he was a gentleman about everything. I took a tiny bite of bread and a large gulp of water, passing it to him afterwards.

I stared at the opposite wall as we sat, listening to him chew the bread hungrily. An idea was slowly beginning to form in my tired mind. "Thomas?"

"Hmmm?" He made the sound as his mouth was full of the last bit of bread.

"I have an idea."

I could hear him swallow before he asked. "What is it?"

"I'm going to go ahead and leave. You stay here and when there's enough of a distraction at my appearance I want you to slip out the way we came. Go back to the horses and do as you wish."

"Lucy, I'm not going to leave you here." He said sternly.

"You have no choice. I was bound to get caught anyway, I suppose. But even if the wall does prove your innocence to some, others will still disbelieve and they may hurt you before I can prove it." I took a breath. "Just do as I say please, the horses will wonder what's happened anyway."

Thomas looked torn and I knew it was going to take a little bit of convincing. "Caspian is my friend, he might be a little angry I've come but I'll be safe here." And added. "This is actually, probably the safest place I could possibly be."

Thomas' expression did not change but I could tell from his eyes that he knew I was right; he just didn't want to admit it. He didn't want to leave me and I couldn't bring myself to be annoyed at him for that.

"Please, Thomas?" I prodded him.

He grumbled something under his breath but said. "Fine. But I won't leave, I'm going to stay around and help you."

I frowned at him, unconvinced, but knew there was no budging him about that, he was too loyal. I stood up, nodding at him.

"Fine." I agreed.

~X~X~

Just moments later I stood beside the tunnels main entrance, ready to leave and get myself captured. Thomas caught my hand before I opened the door; he pulled me back into a hug.

"Thank you, Queen Lucy." He murmured in my ear. He pulled back so he could look me in the eyes. "Please be careful."

I managed a half smile and nodded but still he did not move, his gaze lingered and I felt his hand brush my cheek. I knew what he wanted to do but he simply pushed a strand of hair away from my face.

"Aslan be with you." He said.

That summoned a real smile to my lips. "And you, Thomas."

He dropped his hands and I waited just long enough for him to disappear into the shadows to pull the lever down that would open the door. It slipped open and with it my nervousness began.

_What will Caspian say? _As angry as I still was about the kiss, or rather what the kiss might have stood for, I didn't want him to be angry or _disappointed _in me for following him after I'd promised I wouldn't put myself in danger again.

I blinked in surprise as I saw no one in the hall outside the door. _Were we wrong? _I moment later when I'd barely made it five steps away from the passageway I was proven wrong. I sensed movement behind me and stopped, turning.

Two men followed me, one I recognized as Eosu and the other I thought might have been one from the courtroom meeting in Calormen.

"Queen Lucy." One said as greeting. The other merely nodded and said. "His Majesty wishes to speak with you."

_Now why would he want to do that? _I asked myself sarcastically but smiled at the two. "Actually, I'm just leaving but perhaps we can speak a little later." _Or not at all. _

One moved as if to block my exit and I maneuvered over a bit so I could still make as if to run.

"We've orders to take you to King Caspian as soon as we found you." Eosu said kindly.

I scowled and there was nothing fake in the expression. "Then I've no choice in the matter?" _Thomas you better be ready for this distraction. _

"Now, Queen Lucy doesn't think of it like that, King Caspian just wishes to speak with you as you are supposed to be in Calormen, not here." The other man said bluntly.

_Alright. _"Okay," I replied politely and they visibly relaxed. _But not without a chase. _I bounded backwards and turned, racing down the hallway in the opposite direction of which Thomas and I had originally come. With frantic shouts they came after me, steps pounding with their shouts.

I peeked back once and thought I caught a glimpse of Thomas before I slid around a corner and two guards stood there as well, blocking my way.

"Now, now, Queen Lucy, there's no need for all of that." Eosu said soothingly, coming up behind me. "No one is trying to hurt you, King Caspian has just asked us to bring you to him so he could speak with you."

I paused then and nodded, ignoring his attempt at soothing me as if I were a scared animal. I'd fulfilled what I needed to; Thomas would be leaving soon and would be safe. _Or fairly safe. _"Take me to Caspian then." I agreed with a smile.

The men looked puzzled but went to either side and I was escorted to a small kitchen. There was a stone counter and stools lined it. The men gestured at me to sit down and make myself comfortable.

"We'll go let His Majesty know you're here. Have a bite to eat if you like." One of the other men said kindly.

Despite their kind words two guards still stayed behind wisely, expecting an escape. Sure, I supposed I could have overpowered the two but I was already here and I didn't wish to hurt Caspian's men. _And this gives me the chance to...convince Caspian that his idea is a terrible one. _

There was bread, meat and cheese lain out on the stone counter and I could see casks of water behind the counter in shelves that lined the wall. I walked around and took my time choosing a cask of water and then wandered back to a stool and sat down.

My stomach growled pitifully as I took my first bite and I quickly consumed the bread, meat and cheese together. I hadn't realized how ravenous I was. I was just starting my third piece when I heard my guards move and I glanced up to watch as they each gave me a bow and left the room. I suddenly didn't feel quite as hungry as the door opened so slowly that I held my breath, for who I knew was on the other side.

He came through the door and it took only a second for his eyes to fall upon me. I almost looked away so I wouldn't have to see his expression and whatever it held. But I didn't. And his dark brown eyes just watched me for a moment. I watched him as well.

We stared at each other like that until I finally looked away, to the side.

"Caspian." I said my voice steady.

He strode over to my side and pulled out a stool for himself before asking. "Are you okay?" His tone was as even and emotionless as my own.

"Yes." I poked at my bread.

"Why did you have to lie to me?"

"Why did you come after you promised you wouldn't?"

Our voices overlapped and we both turned to scowl at each other before he asked. "How did I lie to you?"

I shoved my plate away with irritation but I bit my lip on a sharp reply. _Do you really think you've done nothing wrong? Did you really think I'd be perfectly fine with you kissing me and then leaving like it was nothing? _Instead I settled for saying. "What you asked was unfair and you knew it."

Caspian didn't look at me. "I did it to protect you. I didn't want you putting yourself in anymore danger."

_So the kiss was...nothing? _"Was the ball nothing but a cover for..._this?_" I waved my hands around us, gesturing to emphasize everything.

Caspian's tone took on something strange. "Did you really think I would do that to you?"

I growled in frustration and pushed up from my stool. "What would you have me think Caspian? You apologized that night for your behavior and then turn around and leave once more."

He stayed on his stool and still refused to look at me. "The ball was as I said. A surprise for you and nothing more. I'm sorry if I made you think that it was otherwise."

I glared at his back sourly. "Why couldn't you just tell me the truth? Are we not on the same side in this?"

His stool made a screeching sound as he pushed back from the counter and turned to stare at me. He hid his feelings well by way of his voice but his eyes were still angry. "We are always on the same side, Lucy. And as long as you wish me to tell the truth why don't you do the same?"

I raised a hand. "What would you have me tell you the truth about? I've told you what's happened, what happened to the woman in the woods, Edwin, how I got here, even about Thomas! What else would you like me to tell you?" My voice was raised and I did nothing to stop it. _Why does he make me so angry? _

"As you say," He replied with annoyance, grating on my nerves the way he said it. "But you haven't told me everything about Thomas have you?"

"And you've told me almost nothing about him, he would at least speak to me about what happened!" I exclaimed, ready to blurt out his true innocence.

Something shifted in Caspian's demeanor. "He came with you didn't he?" There was only a little disbelief in his voice. "Not only did you go against my wishes but you had to drag him into it again."

My anger was something akin to what it had been nights ago. "Against your wishes?" I scoffed at him. "Your wishes were unfair and I did not bring Thomas with me." And that was the truth, Thomas had shown up uninvited.

Caspian didn't believe my words, I could tell. "How do you expect me to believe you? Who else would have known how to get here _and _help you sneak in and give you instructions to the glass room so you could listen in on the meeting?"

_Still doesn't even cross your mind that he could have shown me and not given me instructions. _"I'm not lying to you, Thomas did not come with me, and I followed you and your men." I admitted plainly.

"And the passageways?" He demanded once more.

I gritted my teeth. "It doesn't matter."

"Is Thomas here somewhere then? I don't believe you were alone in the passageways; someone would have had to show you both tunnels and the glass room. Even if he had drawn you a map it would've been difficult to navigate."

"And who else would have shown me besides Thomas?" I wanted to know, trying to get him to fall into his own trap.

Caspian shot me a hard look. "He could have had someone show you as he can't get past the walls or as I said, drawn you a map."

I rolled my eyes. "And what if he had come past the walls?" I suggested like it was an offhand thought.

Caspian stepped in front of me, towering over me as he said. "It's impossible."

I nodded with triumph. "Because the wall keeps out evil? Then as Thomas did show me the tunnels wouldn't that make him innocent of any treachery the night of your attempted assassination?" I smiled sweetly, for I knew I was right.

Caspian face finally shew some expression and that was surprise. "You said you didn't bring him along."

"I didn't, he came of his own will days after I left." I said. _Might as well explain it all. _

"How-" He started and I waved my hand at him to stop so I could speak.

"You've asked your questions, now answer me this. Why couldn't you tell me about a few months ago?" My tone was still angry but not harsh. "That someone was killed. What happened?"

Caspian glanced at my eyes evenly. "You want the truth?" He didn't wait for me to reply. "We were outside Calormen, near James' home. It was a hunting party but the woods were silent, we couldn't see, hear, or even find tracks of any animal. We'd given up on the hunt and were headed back to the castle when one of my men claimed to have seen something. He showed us the spot and I thought I saw something as well." Caspian's eyes darkened at this point. "When we came closer something shot out of the brush, naturally we gave chase. Something happened after that and it was as if the forest was filled with creatures just like the one I thought I'd seen, they separated me from my men and I stopped..." Caspian trailed off and I knew he was picturing the day in his head; it was a reflection in his eyes. "I saw the creature, it was an ugly beast with red eyes and green skin and it laughed. It laughed as if it knew something I didn't and I suppose it did. A person came from the woods behind it and raised a bow and arrow at me."

I sucked in a breath inadvertently as I pictured the scene rather too vividly. Partly because I knew the creatures he spoke of, the green skinned, red eyed one's that had given me chase and mocked me. And then the figure, I would bet that I knew who it had been. _Most likely one of the witch women I killed. _

Caspian continued on, my thoughts unbeknownst to him. "I thought she would kill me but one of my men, Henry, was his name, he came from the woods and blocked the arrow as it flew to pierce my heart." The young king shook his head as if he still had trouble accepting it. "To kill me." _He gave his life for me. _I could see he wanted to say but didn't.

"I'm sorry." I whispered and I meant it.

Caspian's hand suddenly touched my cheek and slid to my neck, his fingers wrapping gently but urgently at my neck, his eyes were black and confusing. "Can't you see why I wanted you to stay?" He hissed at me. "One person has already been killed; I don't want to lose you."

My heart skittered beneath my breast and I took a shallow breath, my fingers itching to twine with his own but I fought for control. "Can't you see that I can be trusted? That even when I look young I was once a Queen and I did fight and make decisions." I whispered to him.

Caspian's fingers stroked at the hair at the base of my neck lightly. "You are a Queen now, and always." He replied gently.

I reached and touched his hand at my neck, trying to think straight. "But you don't trust me?" We'd already had this conversation, but neither one of us had admitted our true feelings on the matter of trust between us and I suddenly felt I _had _to know.

Caspian's eyes had softened and I felt if I looked into his eyes I could see him and not the pompous young king, simply him. His thoughts and wishes and I wanted nothing more than to look into his eyes. _Well, _I thought distantly. _Perhaps one more thing. _

"Do you trust _me_?" He asked just as he had that morning days ago.

_No. Yes. _I wanted to trust him, I truly did.

His head tilted slightly and he moved to bring his mouth to mine. I couldn't help a little gasp as his lips nearly brushed mine but instead stopped just shy of a kiss as he watched my eyes.

"I trust you with my-" His other hand landed on my injured shoulder and I winced as a pain shot through it, stopping his words before I could hear them. His eyes left mine and landed on my shoulder, gingerly he touched it again as if feeling something.

"Your shoulder is bandaged. What happened?" He asked, sounding angry once more. "Did he hurt you?"

"Who?" _And you trust me with what?_ I questioned, still dizzy from his closeness.

Caspian gave me a scowl but I had a feeling it wasn't directed directly to me. "Thomas. Did he lay a hand on you?"

I shook my head quickly. "No, he had nothing to do with it and it's not a bad wound."

"May I see?" He asked quietly, his voice deep with concern.

I blinked at his question. _Is that proper? _Caspian would never take advantage of me I knew and I supposed he had already seen my shoulder at the ball anyway so I gave him my consent.

I grasped the cloth at my shoulder and pulled it down just a little, revealing the bandage on my shoulder, brown with dried blood and spotted with a little crimson telling me it still bled a little.

Caspian's hands took over and he untied the used to be white cloth, pulling it away slowly so it wouldn't hurt, when he'd finished he paused surveying the wound and then muttered something angrily under his breath.

"Why haven't you done anything about this?" He wanted to know.

I shrugged away from his warm touch. "It's not that bad."

"Bad enough, why don't you drink some of your cordial?" He suggested though I knew he wanted to demand it of me.

I bit the inside of my cheek at remembering the bottle shattering into a thousand pieces during the fight with the witch women. "I don't have it." I muttered, wincing a little inside at the discussion that would follow that statement.

"You left it in Calormen?" He asked, surprised. "Why would you do that?"

"Not in Calormen," I murmured. "It was destroyed."

Caspian's fingers stilled over my wound. "How? What happened, Lu?" His eyes had lost most of their wariness but at my words it came back.

I sighed deeply. I was tired of the lies and secrets between us, maybe that was why I told him what happened. "There were three women, the same as the one I killed in Calormen..."

He waited until I finished and he suddenly pulled me to his chest, hugging me tightly. "Why couldn't you stay in Calormen?" He groaned quietly.

"Because I wanted to find Edwin and know why you left." I answered softly. "Especially after-"

The door I'd been escorted through flew open and three men flew in scarcely pausing to send us an apologetic glance. "We have word from His Lord Marquise."

Caspian stature turned businesslike at once, he gave one of the men a nod. "Please escort Queen Lucy to her chambers." Dismissing me that easily.

The man stepped to my side ready to obey but I planted my feet at Caspian's side. "That's quite alright; I believe I'll stay a while longer. What has Lord Marquise sent word of?"

The men immediately looked to their king for confirmation and Caspian in turned murmured for me only. "You need rest."

"And I will rest later, please let me stay." I replied, willing him to realize that this was one of the biggest problems between us, that he didn't wish to include me within this. I understood his reasoning why but I couldn't accept it. I wanted to be by his side facing the danger in Narnia alongside him.

_What was he going to say? _I pondered as I waited for his response. _I trust you with- What does he trust me with? _

I watched his face as he said to his men. "Queen Lucy will stay," As he said this, his hand that still rested on my wound gingerly pulled my sleeve back up over my shoulder, over my bare skin. "What did Lord Marquise say?"

The men nodded once and then one produced a slip of paper, handing it to Caspian. His eyes read the note quickly before he made a sort of growling sound in his throat and passed it to me.

It read..._Word has been sent that Thomas has escaped from Calormen, and it would seem that scarcely a day previous Queen Lucy has run off once more and no one seems to have any inclination as to where they both might be. I suspect the two might be together and planning something, but what I am unsure. Guards have been sent out and are searching for both. If any word comes, I'll have word sent immediately._

The note was signed with an elaborate J. M. and stamped with one of the three symbols of the ring they all wore, the broken sword.

I pushed a smirk away from my lips and folded the paper once neatly, offering it back to Caspian.

"It would seem Lord Marquise is a bit behind on his news." I murmured lightly, making an effort of keeping my lips closed over a giggle.

Caspian raised a reprimanding eyebrow at me but didn't say anything, to his men he said. "I'll send a message back later tonight. For now we need to look at the maps I brought from the Dawn Treader, I had them taken to the Library."

The men nodded their heads in agreement and turned to leave and once more Caspian and I were left alone. I didn't look at him.

"Should I assume you overheard a lot in the meeting room?" He did not sound irritated anymore just a slightly amused.

"Most I already knew," I replied indirectly. "I learned of hardly anything." At his frown I added. "I did hear some of your..._plan._"

"It doesn't sound as if you approve. Do you have a better idea?" His tone was suddenly on guard, wary.

I knew what he was thinking and he was wrong. "I don't doubt you Caspian. I just don't think it's the best idea." I spoke truthfully if not a bit bluntly.

Caspian's eyes wandered over my face studiously. "What do you not like about it? It's the best we've come up with without putting anyone directly in danger."

I paused as if thoughtful of the question but what my problem was, is that I did not wish Caspian to be the one in danger. "What about you?" I asked softly, carefully.

His jaw turned stubborn reminding me of the young, sometimes pompous king he was. "I am the best choice; I refuse to let anyone else lose their life without reason."

My mouth turned downwards into a frown. "It wasn't your fault." He opened his mouth to argue with me that it was but I cut him off. "It isn't! You didn't drag the man into danger; he chose it to save your life because he was loyal and a good friend."

Caspian strode towards the door and gestured at me to follow. "You don't understand."

I followed after him. "No, I don't suppose I do, but I know you never would have asked it of him. Me, I chose to drag Edwin into danger because I didn't think!" I called after him, willing him to understand that he couldn't blame himself for something he couldn't have changed.

Caspian came to a quick stop and I nearly ran into him. "Edwin was not your fault." He said sternly.

"Then neither was Henry yours." I argued back.

I heard him exhale ahead of me and he changed the subject, letting me know I'd won for now. "Will you be joining us in the library Lu?"

"Do you mind me coming along?" I asked, giving him the choice to refuse me this time for I didn't want him to think me a brat.

His head turned enough so I could see his lips curve into a small grin. "I _suppose _I wouldn't mind your company." He replied teasingly.

_"_You _suppose_?" I made a mock insulted face. "Maybe it was I who didn't mind putting up with your company."

He waited until I drew even with him and poked me in the ribs. "I'm flattered."

I laughed, smiling at him. _How can he make me laugh even after arguing like that? Twice. _As we walked to the library to plan a trap for our enemies I wondered at that.

~X~X~X~X~X~

We stood beside one another in the library looking down at a half dozen maps at least. Some were marked with ink and I leaned over the table to peer at the curious marks.

"What are these, Caspian?"

Caspian didn't take his eyes from the map he was studying but he reached out and shuffled under another map and produced a slip of paper to me. It was a sure movement of him having stood in that very same spot many times before and did the same thing.

"That map marks every place these creatures have been seen." He said and then pointed at another map neither of us was looking at. "This map is one of places my men and I have guessed where they might come next."

I tilted my head, frowning. "I didn't think there was a particular pattern."

"We didn't know that at first," He reached and pulled the map down, pointing at the middle. "This is the first time they were spotted." I knew the spot he pointed; it was the forest where Henry had been killed. "And then they appeared here," Caspian's hand moved farther down and he went on to point out various points on the map. "They showed up wherever my men and I went regardless of the efforts we took to keep them from it."

"Truly?" I questioned curiously. "You couldn't keep them from following you?" Caspian raised a brow at me and I hurriedly corrected my words. "I did not mean it like that. What I mean is if they evaded you and your men that many times," I waved my hand at the map. "It's too much of a coincidence don't you think?"

Caspian watched me with a puzzled look that cleared up as he realized what I meant. "So you believe whoever we're dealing with is someone-"

"Someone who would know you well enough to know what your plans were." _Well enough to know what you would do or they were with you when you made those plans. _One person came to mind and I had to bite down hard on my tongue to keep the name from escaping. _James. _

"You think some of my men a part of this?" There was no disbelief in his tone but he didn't exactly sound pleased at the idea.

"This group of men you have, their all a part of this aren't they?" I questioned.

"A part of what?" Caspian questioned right back.

I laid my hand on his shoulder, prompting him to turn towards me. I could just see the chain he wore and I reached to let my fingers brush it and pull it up enough so I could see the ring I knew was there. "This." I said evenly leaving him no doubt that I wasn't unknowledgeable of the men's group.

"Shamerim." He said quietly.

I blinked in surprise. "What?"

"When we were first meeting as a group that's what some of my men starting calling us, Shamerim."

"Shamerim." I said testingly. I'd heard the word before but its meaning escaped me.

"It means Keepers." He remarked like he knew that was the question I was fixing to ask.

I smiled as the meaning came back to me fully. "Keepers of the law. A fitting name indeed." I glanced back to the map. "Thomas said that over the years, the group has grown larger to include not just your closest friends but men from every surrounding country near Narnia. So there would be no knowing every man personally. Don't you think that there could be some that would betray you within so many?" I said this carefully.

Caspian nodded with a look of comprehension. "It is possible, which is why my meetings have gotten smaller, there's been no other way they could have found out our plans except to be present."

My lips twisted at that. "Am I to assume that was a small group of men in the courtroom a bit earlier then?"

Caspian gave a quick bark of laughter. "That one didn't count." And before I could ask why, he explained. "The meeting was held for the very reason I wanted them to find out," He became serious. "If we can bait them into a trap they can't resist..." His dark eyes shone with deadly calm. "They won't be getting away this time."

"Who all knows of this plan?" I asked.

"Only my closest and most trustworthy men. Eosu, Philip, Trian...You've met them of course. And there are a dozen others." He replied, listing all but the one I suspected.

"And what of James?" I wondered slyly.

"James couldn't be at the meeting tonight but he knows, yes." Caspian's sentence confirmed my suspicions.

"Where is he anyway?" I tried to sound only partially interested and not at all curious.

It didn't work, Caspian knew me better than that. His hand stiffened around an ink quill as he held it above a map. "He had business in Calavar. Why do you ask?"

I shot him a sideways glance. "I just wondered. I figured he would've been here, regardless of anything else." _Unless of course he can't get past the wall. _

Caspian just shrugged. "He knows already so there wasn't really any point in him coming."

We fell silent shortly after and we both studied the maps, well I suppose he studied. I rather contemplated a good way to point out James' absence from the meeting could very well be his greatest mistake and condemn his innocence but I wasn't sure how Caspian would take that. So for now I was going to have to break our somewhat peaceable quiet on another matter.

"Caspian?" I murmured softly, drawing his attention from the map he studied so intently. I waited until he looked at me before saying. "I want to ask something of you."

His eyes flickered over my face once before he asked. "What is it?"

"Would you..." I paused, grimacing at the response I knew my question would provoke.

"Would I what?" He asked patiently once more.

I sighed inwardly. _Why can't I just ask him if he'll give Thomas one chance? To walk past that wall? _It was but a second later as I felt him grasp my hand for I couldn't look away from his eyes that his lips came ever so slowly and all the way to cover mine. I had dreamt of his searing kiss the days Sparrow and I'd been following them but nothing could actually compare to the real thing.

The way my heart leaped when he looked at me, the way his touch made me tremble with a thousand different emotions and lastly how his lips on mine made me feel as he pulled me to him and captured my lips. Like nothing was wrong, everything would be fine. It also scared me for I was afraid to trust him as much as I wanted to.

But when he moved his lips on mine so softly I couldn't make myself care. My cheeks felt warm and I knew my face had to be an unattractive shade of red. I raised my hand to lie on the hand he rested on my shoulder, letting his fingers slip between my own as he pulled me closer as he kissed me even more sweetly. Tasting of sweet bread and a sweet drink of some sort.

And for once the kiss went uninterrupted by anyone and the sweet kiss ended only as he turned his head to say at my ear. "Tell me what you want and it will be done, love."

I shivered under his touch and his words. _Love? _My disbelief at the one word was only overpowered by his statement that whatever I wanted would be done.

I gazed up at him as I had my brothers many a time but I looked at Caspian with a new found feeling that I'd never felt before. I was in love with this man, the arrogant, wise, handsome king.

Caspian looked back at me and I wondered what he was thinking or if he could read the feelings I knew were probably written all over my face.

"Caspian?" I managed to whisper.

"What is it Lu?" He said back in an equally quiet voice.

"I lo- I want you to give Thomas one chance to prove his innocence by letting him walk past the wall without being harmed." I blurted the sentence out instead of what I truly wanted to say.

Caspian dropped his hand from my own and I winced at how hard his jaw suddenly seemed. "Very well. Let's go."

"Now?" I asked, surprised.

"Now." He agreed. His word as true as it ever was.

~X~X~X~X~X~

After I'd explained which gate I'd entered through we set off, him striding hurriedly ahead and I knew he was angry. _Does he think I only kissed him because of Thomas? _I shook my head of the thought, Caspian wasn't like that.

_He's still angry about something_. I caught his arm as he reached to open the door Thomas and I had entered through. "Tell me why you're angry Caspian before you open the door."

"You know why, I don't trust him and I've truly no idea why you insist on his innocence. Do you not trust my judgment?" He wanted to know.

"It has nothing to do with trusting your judgment. I saw him walk through that door this afternoon and knew he was an innocent man but I did not need the blasted thing to be convinced of his innocence!" I exclaimed angrily.

"And what, Your Highness, convinced you he was completely innocent when he walked away from my bedchamber the night my uncle tried to have me killed?" Caspian said equally as irritated.

"I see it in him, he is good. If you have any belief, any trust in me, will you take me at my word that he is innocent of any wrongdoing?" I demanded of him and I knew I was putting him in a difficult spot. I just didn't care because I knew that I was right about Thomas.

With a quick wrench he had the door sliding open to the blackness that stole over the forest at dusk.

~X~X~

I walked forward and Caspian grasped my shoulder to keep me back. "Stay near me, its dangerous out here." He ordered and I obeyed the command gladly.

"Thomas?" I called out quietly trying to ignore a stiffening Caspian as I said his name. "Come out Thomas, it's alright." Nothing could be heard except the nightlife of the forest as we wandered further still.

"Thomas!" I called out again. "It is...safe. You can come out." A rustling was heard to our right and I jerked in that direction.

"It would seem I have a bit of a surprise for your Highness'." I froze at the voice, eyes widening in surprise. James stepped from behind a tree directly in front of us and he was not alone. Thomas stood, eyes ablaze in anger, hands bound and with a rather nasty black eye.

"Queen Lucy." James' voice was rather cool as he bowed to me. "What a surprise."

"Likewise." I said icily, stepping forward to Thomas. "Release Thomas, now."

"Lucy," Caspian started but I shook my head.

"We have a deal. He is innocent and I will prove it." And to James. "I command you to release him." There wasn't many a time I called on my status as Queen to get something I wanted but this was an exception.

James' eyes passed over me and to Caspian, looking for Caspian to object my command. "Release him." Caspian seconded and James raised a knife, hacking at Thomas' bonds before shoving him rudely in my direction.

I watched as Thomas' eyes blazed fury and he swung about, his fist balling, ready to lay his fist into James' face. I jumped forward and caught his fist in both of my hands, stopping him.

"Don't. Not now." I ordered sternly, keeping firm hands on his own.

Thomas' fist loosened in both of mine but he growled at James. "Next time Marquise." Of course it was a threat and James didn't let the comment go unanswered.

Caspian stepped between the two as James replied. "Looking forward to it."

"Enough," Caspian ordered. "We've plans to make."

~X~X~X~

The short walk back to the wall was kept in a deep silence, a silence that held a foreboding I didn't want to think about if Thomas hadn't been able to pass the wall earlier that day.

When we reached it I couldn't help but stare at James. If he was as guilty of something as I suspected him to be surely he wouldn't be able to get past the wall.

Caspian gestured me forward and started to explain where the switch was but I stopped him with an, "I know already." I knew rather too well, perhaps. A picture of Thomas guiding my hand to the switch and being a bit closer than just friendly.

The door swung aside and Caspian crossed to the other side, James following behind but not before glancing over his shoulder at me, sending me an icy grin. _What does that mean? Does he think Thomas won't be able to come through? But if Thomas suspects James of treachery the night of Caspian's attempted assassination then how can he pass? _

James had already proven to me he was guilty of something asking me of my opinion of changing something, so many days ago. Whatever he was hiding, he did not seem worried. He paused at the entrance though and I thought I saw a grimace on his face before he stepped smoothly across just as Caspian had.

_What was that? _I wondered. Thomas' hand slid into mine and I pulled him forward, squeezing his hand reassuringly. We stepped together over the invisible boundary and I watched Caspian's face with satisfaction as he looked truly surprised at this turn of results.

"Do you believe me now?" I asked quietly whilst casting a puzzled glance at James. _I truly thought him guilty of something. How did he pass? _

Caspian nodded at me. "As you say, he is innocent."

I grinned a pleased smile at Caspian and Thomas both for I had conquered one problem at the very least. Thomas' innocence of the betrayal was true and I felt certain that this great danger in Narnia would be over soon.

And if something wasn't right with James, I was determined to find out what it was.

~X~X~X~X~X~

When we arrived back at the castle Thomas and I were both given rooms and Caspian allowed me a goodnight to Thomas before escorting me back to my own room.

I could sense him moving behind me as I entered the room and I could almost feel his lips on mine again now that we were alone and the quiet fell heavy between us. _Why did he kiss me that time? Did he mean it? _Surely if he kissed me again that had to mean he had some sort of feelings for me? Didn't it?

I wasn't entirely sure.

"I'm sorry Lu." He said from behind me, startling me into looking at him.

"For what?" I wondered skeptically.

"Not believing you about Thomas the first time." He admitted. "I truly did not believe him innocent and even now I doubt him, but if you believe his innocence so, then I do as well."

"It's alright Caspian and," I turned about to find he stood right behind me. "I thank you for apologizing. I know his story isn't entirely convincing but I know he's a good man."

"Do you-" Caspian cut himself off with a shake of his head. "Never mind, goodnight Lu."

I watched him start to move away but I stopped him with a hand on his arm. "Goodnight Caspian." And I raised up to place a kiss on his cheek, enjoying the feeling of his cheek scratchy against my lips.

If he turned his head a bit more perhaps our mouths would just brush and I wished for a moment that he would. He, however, took a step back and with a muttered, "See you in the morning." He was gone.

But it was with a lighter heart I slept that night, Caspian and I had forgiven each other for some things and Thomas was innocent and I'd proved it, I'd convinced Caspian of it at least.

Perhaps if I had known what would happen so soon after that night I would have told him the truth about how I really felt towards him.

But I didn't.

And so it was.

~X~X~X~X~

The next morning held the promise of something dangerous. As I scarfed down two biscuits stuffed with ham and a bit of cheese I contemplated why.

It could have been anything from the grey sky, telling of another late summer storm or it could've been the impending plans I had a feeling Caspian was going to set into motion sooner rather than later. Or it could simply have been the fact that as I wandered down a stone hallway the shouts of angry voices called out to one another, shattering the early morning stillness with such scorn that I paused before sitting the last of my harried breakfast down and shot to the room that the voices were obviously coming from.

"Will you not believe in reasoning?" One shouted.

And another. "You've gone mad! What do you think I am? A fool!"

A third voice chipped in about here. "A fool you are! But if that makes you a fool then that makes him twice that for suggesting it."

_What in the world? _The three voices were Caspian, Thomas and not to be excluded James. But what on earth could they be arguing about? "You're not a part of this Delega!" James shouted at Thomas. "You lost the right to speak when you betrayed us all."

"You coward," Thomas snarled in fury. "You know it wasn't me."

Caspian broke into the verbal fight. "Your innocence was proved, at least in part. Queen Lucy says it's so and so it is." His words held the mark of finality that should have made the other two hold their silence.

"And when did you become so keen on listening to Her Majesty?" Thomas bit out at Caspian and I took a step forward, ready to step between the men if need be. And I was fairly certain there would be need. But I did not cross over the threshold of the room. "She was sent back here to _help _you and you just ignore her, lie to her and then slip off at a ball when you think it most forgivable!"

I winced at his words, of course most of it was true but I knew Caspian had wanted to protect me so I had forgiven him for that at least. For kissing me...that was more complicated.

"All I did was for her protection!" Caspian growled out, sounding calmer than the other two. "Not that I have to explain myself to you."

"Then tell her the truth, she at least deserves that from you." Thomas replied and he sounded angrier than I'd heard him thus far. "You are ten kinds of fool if you think she doesn't care for you. And that she's too kind a woman to hold anything against anyone, let alone you." He spat.

"I know." Caspian sounded strangely calm at Thomas' harshness. "I know that."

"Then why don't you tell her as much?" James' snapped out, coming back into the argument.

"What is between the Queen and I, is not your business, I suggest you leave it as so." Caspian advised, his irritation back. Or perhaps it had never actually gone.

"You wanted to have her used as bait and you expect either one of us to trust your twisted judgment?" Thomas sounded mockingly disbelieving of James.

_What? Me as bait? Does he mean instead of Caspian? _

"If you'd just listen to reason, Her Majesty would be-" James argued.

"Lucy isn't being used for this blasted plan!" Thomas' and Caspian's voices overlapped in unison.

"But-"

James might have said the one word but it was the next one that caused everything to fall to pieces.

"Shut up!" I had no idea who shouted that but the next thing I heard was flesh on flesh as a fist connected to someone's cheekbone and a muffled curse came before the sounds of a scuffle came to me.

I was already moving as bits and pieces of words came out as they fought.

"You better keep away from her you traitor!" Thomas snarled at James I saw as I looked in the door but none of them saw me.

Caspian shoved at the two roughly and they fell back away from each other, blood streaking from James' nose and Thomas' lips looked swollen.

"You'd be wise to heed your own warning Thomas." Caspian's warning was met with a quick laugh.

"Oh because you're worried Queen Lucy might fancy me a bit more than yourself King Caspian?" I blinked in astonishment at Thomas. _Did he truly just say that? _"Or is it because she kissed me first?"

When I watched Caspian's fist slam into Thomas' face I made a sort of protesting noise to be sure but it was too quiet to hear over the ruckus.

"That was for touching her at all." Caspian spat out and his fist swung out but it did not hit Thomas again as I thought it would but caught James in the abdomen instead and James bent double. "And that was for the same in my room, _friend_." The word was sour off his lips.

Both Thomas and James were up and moving and as was Caspian. Finally I managed to move my feet, I moved towards them and then stopped, shaking my head. What could I say? What should I say?

I bit my lip hard and turned, making no effort to hide my steps as I left the room. I halted before exiting and faced the men once more. Three heads turned, pausing their fight of pride, arrogance and whatever else they wanted to throw in.

My biggest problem was what had started this fight. Me. _I'm at the middle of it_, I realized. I met the eyes of first James, his icy blue eyes were still angry but I saw a bit of an apology about him. Thomas' greenish eyes were nothing but sorry as I met them and I knew he was, at least for me seeing the fight.

Caspian's eyes were as unreadable to me as they always were. The dark brown showing no traces of gold and no trace of an expression for me to even guess at what he was thinking. Be that as it was I couldn't look away from them.

"I'm sorry I keep causing so many problems." I clenched my teeth hard to keep back anger, frustration. I laughed a bit cynically. "James," I licked my dry lips. "You're wrong about Thomas in every way. Whether you agree to acknowledge his innocence is your problem and I want no more to be said on the matter. Is that understood?"

I glanced at Thomas. "Thomas, Caspian is my friend and as you say, I care for him deeply, therefore don't you think that you could show him respect simply because of me?" I did not wait for either man's answer and instead let my eyes drift on to Caspian and stop.

But I didn't know what to say to him. _Was he jealous when he saw James and me? Or is he simply being protective of me? Like a brother? _His kiss said otherwise, or at least I thought it did. I gave a faint shake of my head and made to leave.

"Lucy." Three voices asked me to stop. Three voices were ignored.

"I wish to discuss James' idea in the library when the final decisions on Caspian's plan will be made. Send word for me when..." I paused, choosing my words carefully. "When you can attempt some self-control around one another." _Or maybe choosing my words carefully was the wrong word for it. _

I slipped from the room without another word.

After that I did not want to return to my room and just sit so I set about, wandering through the halls. It seemed such a long time ago that I'd stood in my aunt and uncle's house looking out over the countryside thinking of Narnia and of Caspian. I wondered what Peter and Ed would be doing right then. Would they be sitting down to supper with Susan, Eustace and our Aunt and Uncle? Were they wondering about Narnia and what might be happening here? And what of Susan? Did she ever think about me? Had she forgiven me for that fight?

I sighed; shaking my head to rid it of thoughts there was no way I could answer. Instead I moved on to the fight I'd witnessed. _Thomas knows I care for Caspian. _And Thomas had mocked Caspian because of our shared kiss. Why? What had been the point in it? Did he just wish to make Caspian jealous?

And his words weren't entirely true; my first kiss had been Caspian. A moonlit night after I'd had a bad dream, in fact. And Caspian, I couldn't make up my mind whether to be angry at him or...give in to the part of me that wanted to like the protectiveness he'd shown even if he had hit Thomas.

"Queen Lucy?" Someone called for me and I stopped, waiting. "His Majesty says to ask if you'd like to join them in the library."

I gave the man a half smile in acknowledgement. "Very well."

~X~X~X~

I walked into the library with a nervous stomach but kept a high head. The men stood as I entered and Caspian stepped to pull out a chair beside him and at almost the same moment James did the same.

I did not look between the two but simply took a seat beside one of my previous guards, the youngest actually, Rhys. Of course I wanted to sit beside Caspian but I wasn't going to be made to choose between two men so blatantly in front of everyone. And especially so after this morning.

"Queen Lucy." Rhys remarked politely, nodding his head at me.

"Master Rhys, good to see you again." I replied equally politely and he cracked a grin making me realize he knew why I chose the seat beside him and he found it amusing. I gave him a swift kick under the table and I saw his grin widen.

Caspian cleared his throat and got everyone's attention but when I looked down the table at him I saw his gaze lingered on me before sliding to survey his closest friends.

"I've called you, my closest friends together simply to make certain that everything is clear. It has been decided I will serve as bait, a distraction for us to stop them once and for all. The only thing to be settled is where we're creating this trap." Caspian paused to unroll a map for all to see and pointed at an area near to the borders of Archenland.

"Many of us suspect that Archenland's southeastern border is very near to where they might be hiding. And others believe it could be near," His fingers slid across the map closer to Calormen, about partway between Calormen's capital, "Tashbaan and Cair Paravel."

"What is the reasoning behind either place?" I questioned, making my voice as steady as I could especially when every man turned to stare at me.

"We believe that Archenland's border, though they've never been seen there could be it because we've trailed them as far as Zalindreh and we've been searching everywhere near there. The only place left to go near there is over Archenland's border." One man answered me.

I nodded as another man muttered. "Or they could have just gone farther." I inclined my head at that.

"That is true." I admitted conversationally. "Is that all?"

"It is." Caspian replied.

"And near Tashbaan?" I asked.

Eosu spoke again. "There is a small city near Tashbaan that's recently been overrun with bandits and thieves, the like. What better place for these creatures to be than among those like them?"

I frowned deeply at that knowing my next question might seem an insult to Caspian as king but I had to know. "What's been done to stop them?"

It was James who answered this. "Caspian sent me and over a dozen good men along and we were refused entrance to the city. Those who hadn't left already claimed they were getting along fine and had no use of us."

I looked at Caspian for confirmation and he nodded that James did indeed tell the truth.

It was a curious thing though, for if James was the one who went with what I was going to assume was a dozen hand-picked men, by who else but His Lord Marquise and if he was guilty as I guessed, then that would easily make him a liar simply because he was trying to keep us away from the actual location of these creatures and their leader. If he wasn't their leader, that is.

Conversation flowed around always just shy of a small argument about the location and I half listened as I thought. I came up with two suggestions and opened my mouth to say as much.

I cleared my throat as Caspian had except decidedly more femininely but the men didn't turn. I was just opening my mouth to say something when Caspian wrapped his hand on the table loudly.

"Her Majesty wishes to be heard when she speaks." His voice was scolding and stern at the same time, demanding their attention.

Now attentive heads turned to me and I swallowed hard. Maybe my suggestions could wait until later? _No. _I snapped at myself. _You are a Queen and your suggestions are equally as important as any of theirs. _I took a deep steadying breath before looking slowly at Caspian. He nodded at me to go on and that gave me the final push to speak.

"Every one of you men acts as if there is but two choices, either Archenland or Mezreel but what if we could use Caspian's plan in _both _places?" I leaned over the table a little. "If that could be done we would be able to stop them without making the wrong choice _or _if they happen to be in both places we kill two birds with one stone."

"But how would we do it in both places at the same time, because," A dark haired, clean shaven man, wanted to know. "Correct me if I'm wrong Queen Lucy but there is but one King Caspian and he cannot be in both places at once."

A lot of the men called out their agreement with this man, shaking their heads with the foolishness and ridiculous idea. _Except James. _I noticed and found that he was watching me; his eyes were not angry or dangerous as they might have been but watchful, like he was waiting for me to go on and say something that would mean something to him.

"Caspian doesn't have to be in both places." I said quietly and braced myself inwardly for the response.

First there was no response and I waited, waited for anyone's mockery, approval, anything. I finally looked over at Rhys and said. "Say something."

Rhys frowned lightly. "Pardon, My Queen but you don't mean yourself do you?"

_He truly doesn't understand? _I shook my head at the men. "Caspian has said there is but one person they will think twice before killing but there are two and both stand before you now. If each of us can be in both places then this can be stopped more quickly."

"It is not a bad plan," Eosu was the first to say. "But your safety concerns me. What if we are not able to get to you immediately?"

"If I may, sir, I am a warrior. I was once called that by my people and I trust that there was a reason behind the title and not just a girlish face." My bold words were met with a bark of laughter and I turned to see Philip, my guard back in Calormen put a hand to his mouth gruffly as he coughed to hide his amusement, not at me but at the look on Eosu's face.

"I for one will agree with Her Majesty and swear I will do as much possible to keep by her side and out of danger. And I can vouch for her ability with a sword." He said with a twinkle in his eyes.

I gave him a nod of thanks and Rhys stood beside me. "I agree as well, if His Majesty gives his consent."

As many men as were starting to agree, at Rhys's words they all turned as one to Caspian. I looked too for I was both scared of his response and eager for it.

His fingers were locked together on the table as he leant forward, his chin resting just above them and he waited a long, drawn out moment before saying. "There will be no need of doing it in both places. Her Majesty will not be put into danger. We choose one place or the other and do as originally planned. That is my final word on it." His tone was not harsh just firm, a warning that he wanted no argument.

I, on the other hand was not taking his order so easily. I shifted back in my chair defiantly, wanting to leave the room before I growled something unforgivable at him. _Why is everything I say immediately no? For my protection? _I bit back my pride as discussion about which place to go sank in once more.

"I apologize, Queen Lucy, I did not mean-" Rhys's voice came to me apologetically and I cut him off.

"It's not your fault, I don't blame you."

It was James who spoke and brought me back into the discussion. "You said you had two choices, what was the other?"

I gazed around solemnly at the men, this time with less fervor as with my first idea. "We go to Mezreel. It is the more likely choice." I replied without any question.

"Why is that?" Caspian questioned sounding truly curious.

My voice was deeper as I spoke again a true sign of how angry I was. "How do you know the trail you've been following near Archenland's border is nothing but a guise to lead you as far from the actual location as possible? Mezreel seems the best place for many reasons, when I first arrived in Narnia again a man almost caught me and he told me something."

"What is that?" James asked and I let my eyes slide to him, he seemed a bit too curious of my words. I felt a chill down my back as he continued watching me with cool blue eyes.

"He told me that, 'when she's ready, there'll be no stopping her." I said slowly, giving time for the words to sink into everyone's minds. "That was near to Cair Paravel, he was running with a group of bandits. And it would seem bandits just so happen to be overrunning Mezreel." I peered pointedly around the table at Caspian's men, hoping that by the time all this was over they would come to really respect my words.

"Queen Lucy has a point, that's the best lead we've had yet." A burly, middle aged man said gruffly.

I could feel Caspian's eyes on me but ignored it and stared to James instead. "And what do you think Lord Marquise?" I asked, using his title for the first time watching closely for a something in his stature that would prove significant.

"I see no reason why it couldn't be possible, though it's still every bit as possible for it to be Archenland's border in my opinion."

"I disagree." Eosu remarked calmly. "If that is the truth then I believe it more that Mezreel is the answer to this problem."

"But keep in mind that if you're making the wrong decision that's nearly a week's ride back to Tashbaan and perhaps less than a day to Mezreel. Wouldn't it be more simple to go on to Archenland's border?"

"But if that is wrong," I argued. "That will be another few days wasted in pursuit of these people, creatures, whatever they may be. I believe we need to go to Mezreel," I turned to look at Caspian fully. "What is your opinion on any of this Caspian?" I met his eyes evenly, daring him to refuse my words again.

Caspian watched me for a moment before letting his gaze pass to all of his men. "I'm inclined to agree with Queen Lucy, she makes a wise choice by what she knows." He said all this contemplatively before nodding at me. "I'm in agreement with her."

_What a surprise. _I couldn't keep the sarcastic comment from popping into my mind.

Moments later as the men around us talked among themselves, Caspian stood from his chair and announced. "It is done. We will leave for Tashbaan within the hour."

As the men started leaving the room to get ready to leave I drifted behind looking for my table companion, Rhys. I wanted to find the stables, for I knew I needed to speak with Dannsair. She was probably threatening my life at that very moment for running off once more and I felt guilty for deserting her as I had. She was my friend after all.

I spotted Rhys speaking to a few other young men at almost the same instant as someone said.

"Queen Lucy." At my side.

"Lord Marquise." I replied to be polite.

"I apologize if my words earlier were harsh, I truly did not want you in any danger. I only thought it might be better if one of our best men was with us and helping us trail them back to their hideout. And they might've fallen for the trick more easily had you been the one." James started and got out in a rushed breath as if expecting me to turn and leave him standing there. I was tempted to do just that but stopped as he said the last part.

"Because they believe me a weakling?" I questioned curiously, suddenly completely wary of his words.

"I'm sure they don't but-" I ignored the rest of his sentence and thought about that. _So they don't think me a weakling but still he wants me to be the one in Caspian's place. _I pondered that with a sudden great suspicion but hid my thoughts with a quick word.

"Of course. Forgive me James but I must speak with Rhys." I brushed past him and left him sputtering.

"Of course, of course Your Majesty."

As I crossed to Rhys I was aware of eyes on me and knew Caspian was waiting, that he most likely wished to speak with me.

I smiled brightly at Rhys and asked for instructions to the stable. As he was about to answer Caspian said from my side. "I can show you if you like Lu."

Rhys ducked his head and bowed. "Forgive me Queen Lucy but I must hurry." He said. "I trust King Caspian will show you the stable."

I gave him a hard smile. "Of course." _Nothing would thrill me more. _

Neither one of us said a word until Rhys was out of the room and we were left alone. "Will you _tell _me where the stables are?" I emphasized the one word trying to be clear that I did not want to speak with him about earlier.

"I've need to go anyway so I'll just show you." He said and his tone was slightly strained.

~X~X~X~

You could say perhaps that it seemed the longest walk I had ever been on. I said nothing and Caspian said nothing though I knew he wanted to say something but was too stubborn to speak and so was I.

The day was still darker with a storm and I glared at the sky as if I could blame everything on it. _Give us strength and wisdom this day Aslan. _

"What are you thinking?" Caspian's voice made me jump from my thoughts.

"Nothing." I said too quickly for it to sound even a little believable.

"Lu," He started and I knew by the change in his tone where this was about to go. "Will you not say anything?"

"What do you want me to say Caspian? Because I truly don't know what to make of any of that. I said what I thought then and that's the best I can tell you." My tone was not angry but stiff.

"You spoke to both of them and yet you said nothing to me. What did you want to say? We are alone; will you at least speak your mind now?" Caspian prodded me. "Whether it be bad or good."

I stopped in partial disbelief. "You think I have something good to say about any of that? We are supposed to be working together to rid Narnia of this evil and yet you fight amongst yourselves. _We _fight each other every step of the way Caspian."

"I know." He replied and waited for me to start moving again as I looked amazed at him. "I know earlier was wrong. It should never have happened; I should have stopped them sooner and had better sense than to let the two in a room near one another."

_What about you? _I wanted to ask but didn't as we entered the stables.

Caspian paused for a moment as one of his men called out to him and I slipped past him, searching the few stables near for Dannsair. I'd hardly made it past the second row of stalls when Caspian heavy steps came behind me. "Lu, will you wait a moment?"

"I wish to speak with Dannsair now..." I trailed off as someone else called out to Caspian. "And besides someone else has need of you."

"Lu." He moved so quick I scarcely saw it as he grasped my hand and pulled me forward at his side and after a moment to the right, pulling a stall door closed behind us.

"Caspian what-" I started.

"Will you let me speak for just a moment please?" Caspian looked at me exasperatingly, but he was not begging as it may have sounded, he wanted to know would I listen.

I both wanted to refuse and didn't. How would it help accomplish anything if I just ignored him and walked off? But if I stayed and listened I might forgive him too easily. For kissing me as he had and leaving. For completely ignoring my plan. For everything. Because Thomas was right whether I wanted to admit it or not. I would forgive him, I would always forgive him.

"Go on." I hissed quietly so as not to draw attention from outside the stall.

"I am sorry for earlier. For not stopping them and not listening to you sooner about Thomas. I'm sorry." He whispered and reached to hold my hand in one of his, letting our palms touch and he looked at my hand. "I'm sorry for not being what you want."

My heart skipped a beat and I gazed at his face with confusion. "What do you mean what I want?"

Caspian's eyes locked with mine. "I'm sorry for not being good enough, for disappointing you."

My heart gave a painful twist. "Caspian," I tried to stop him but he went on.

"But I'm not sorry for doing the things I did because I wanted to protect you and I can't say I would change what I did. I just would have told you the whole truth to begin with." As he paused for a breath I couldn't help taking a deep breath myself.

_Does he really think I wish to change him? That he's not perfect the way he is? That he's a disappointment?_

"Caspian," I tried to make my tongue make sense of the muddled feelings in my heart. "You are perfect the way you are, I- I wouldn't change you for a- anything." My voice trembled to my consternation. "You are King of Narnia." I let my fingers wrap around his larger hand slowly. "Aslan chose you for a reason and I believe in you. The only thing I wish is that you would include me as-" I bit off the last part. _As your equal. _

Caspian's free hand found my chin and he lifted it. "Include you as what?" Something shifted in his eyes asking me to finish that sentence, daring me to, but I shook my head.

"To just include me in this. We are friends," The word sounded strange to my lips when speaking about the two of us when I wished for much more from him. "We have always been and we will always be. Even if I leave Narnia again."

A pained expression could be seen in his eyes. "You think you'll return then?" There was something odd in his tone.

I shivered at the thought and as a cool breeze reached us from outside. "I don't know how I wouldn't. Every time I've come it's always been to return."

His chest rose with a sigh. "Narnia won't be the same without its Queen."

_It's Queen. _I closed my eyes at sudden tears. I did not want to leave Narnia. _I don't want to leave. _When his arms went around me I did not pull away.

"I don't want you to be angry with me." He whispered into my hair, the feel of his breath sending chills down my arms.

"And I don't want you angry at me or thinking I'd change you." I said. The words muffled in his broad chest.

"You truly wouldn't change anything about me?" He asked and I knew there was more to that question than just the obvious. _Does he suspect I care for him?_

I tilted my head at the seriousness. "Would you change anything about me Caspian?"

"Yes," His word made my eyes widen in surprise. "I'd change one thing." There was a smirk in his eyes but it was underlined with seriousness.

"What?" It came out as a squeak. "What would you change?"

"If I told you, would you go back to Calormen until this is over?" The smirk disappeared and I knew he wasn't playing.

"I can't go back to Calormen." I said the first thing I thought and it was the truth, I could not.

He must have seen something in my eyes as a warning that this was exactly what I'd been talking about when I wished to be included for all he said was. "I know." He brushed at my cheek. "I won't keep you from coming. Not again." He looked at me sideways. "Not that it worked the first time either."

"Caspian," I licked my lips. "It's not that I want to go against your wishes but I did used to fight and I was a warrior. I want to be that Queen again. I want to earn my peoples respect again. They deserve that." _I want to earn your respect. _

Caspian dropped his arm from about me and I saw he was taken aback at my statement. "You think you're not and that they don't?"

I raised my shoulders a bit by way of reply.

"You don't have to earn Narnia's people's respect, you already have it. And you never stopped being that Queen; you are a warrior and a great one. One that's been spoken of throughout the centuries. Why do you doubt this?" Caspian sounded genuinely intrigued.

"Your men...they don't act like they respect me." I managed for it felt difficult putting all my feelings into words.

Caspian laughed all of a sudden and I jumped at the change. "My men? The men you've met? The lot of most of them have been at sea for a long while this past season. I imagine their not quite sure how to act around a lady and queen such as yourself."

"I'm not sure I understand." My brow crinkled with puzzlement.

"You can be quite a fearsome young lady Lu." Caspian teased.

"Now you're just being ridiculous." I exclaimed, shoving at him. He chuckled and I welcomed the sound, glad to hear it once more. "Do you think me fearsome too Caspian?" I wasn't sure why I asked it but I did. It was...flirtatious almost.

"Terrifying." He agreed and I could even forget that we were in a horse's stall as he let his fingers lay at the nape of my neck, his lips, full and heading to rest on top of mine.

But he did not kiss me. Our foreheads touched just barely as I breathed out. "I would not."

"You would not?" He answered back.

"I would change nothing about you." I admitted and it felt amazing to tell him the truth. His eyes closed and I wondered if it was in relief. I freed one of my hands from his and touched his cheek softly. "What would you change of me?"

He eased me closer and leaned just so slightly to my right and kissed my neck first on the right then the same for the left, pressing his lips softly to my skin. "I promise I will tell you when this danger in Narnia is past. I'll tell you then."

"But what if I'm not here?"

Caspian traced a finger down my jaw. "You'll not be gone, I'm sure of it. You're too curious to leave without knowing."

I smiled halfheartedly at that and this time leaned up on my tiptoes to give him a small kiss on his cheek when a golden head poked over the top of the stall.

"Lucy? Lucy! It's a fine thing you decided to come visit me! You have a bit of explaining to do young lady and this time you won't be moving from my side until I hear every bit of your tale!" Dannsair's indignant squeal was no doubt heard all over the stable and I cringed slightly.

"I'm sorry." I managed to say before Caspian said.

"I need to see to a few things Lu." He raised a dark brow. "Good luck and," He caught my eyes once more and whispered so quietly that I hardly understood his words. "I want you to know that I don't regret what I did to Thomas and James, they'd do well to leave you be." And he was gone leaving me to let his words sink in as he strode off to prepare for our departure.

I put both hands on my hips and turned about to stare at Dannsair. "Could you not have chosen a moment later?"

The winged horse simply flicked her tail with no shame. "Come sit and explain everything before I bite you for taking so long."

I rolled my eyes. "It might be a while."

~X~X~X~

And it did take a while. A long while, so even as I returned back to my room to fill my sack with my own food and my canteen with fresh water I knew Dannsair was waiting impatiently with the other horses as I hurried to gather my things.

I'd hardly started my story but I knew as soon as we set off I'd be speaking for hours, explaining it all to the winged horse and Sparrow as well for I felt I owed him an explanation too.

I was also thinking, trying to figure out a way for us to get to Mezreel faster and I had an idea but it would only work if Dannsair was willing to cooperate. And of course that was rather debatable, I knew.

~X~X~X~

"Dannsair." I called to her as I moved past Caspian's many men and their horse's. "Dannsair, where are you?"

"Oh, do not mistake that I'm going anywhere, young lady." Her shrill whinny came from nearby over the sounds of hundreds of others.

I pushed past them to reach her side. "I need to speak with you."

"It's about time." She commented with sarcasm.

"No, I mean I've an idea for getting to Mezreel faster than by horseback. Going by air would be quicker would it not?" I demanded hurriedly.

The horse eyed me warily. "You want me to fly you to Mezreel ahead of everyone else?" She flicked her head with irritation. "Now if that's not a bad idea I don't know what is."

"No, I don't want you to fly me ahead of the others but I do want you to fly me." I got out as men around us started mounting their horses.

"You really aren't making any sense these days child." The golden horse remarked, mock seriously.

I scowled at her. "What I mean is do you happen to know of any other pegusi...let's say near here?"

"Oh, no." She glanced around us and leaned closer to me so only I could hear. "That is a terrible idea. Unfathomable. Awful. Just absolutely ridiculous."

"Why is that?" I argued. "If it will help us be done with this sooner, then wouldn't you like to help us out?"

"Its- I- It just is!" She snapped ferociously and then. "Perhaps not all that bad."

"Is that a yes?" I urged her, poking her in the shoulder with a finger.

"It's not going to be easy to convince everyone of it, you know." She sounded less sure of herself now.

"I'll gladly go if you'll show me the way." I offered, hoping that this was a good idea.

"No," She replied. "I'll do it but you had better be on Sparrow's back when I return. You will be telling me everything."

"Everything." I promised, gesturing about us at the men all ready to leave. "How long do you think you'll be?"

Dannsair snorted indignantly. "Impatient child. I'll be as fast as I can, be thankful I'm going."

I gave her an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry; I'm just worried about Edwin. Aslan be with you, my friend and I thank you for doing this."

"And you the same child." She nudged me in the shoulder with her muzzle softly before trotting off out of the way of the others so she could extend her wings and take flight.

"Hurry back, my friend." I whispered after her as I saw her lift into the air.

~X~X~X~

Caspian was at the head of his men and I rode forward a little ways but wasn't sure if I should ride ahead beside of him. I needed to tell him of Dannsair and that small change of plans.

Like he sensed me watching him, he turned a bit in his saddle and spotted me a ways behind him. He said something to the man riding at his side and then slowed his horse to drop back some, waiting for Sparrow to catch up.

"W- want me t- to ride up beside His Majesty?" The bay horse asked of me.

"Yes, if you will, thank you." I said kindly.

As we fell into stride with Destrier and Caspian, the handsome king sent his curious gaze my way. "What is it Lu?"

I leaned back in my saddle uncomfortably, feeling my shoulders want to rise noncommittally but I kept them down. "I might have changed a part of the plan...without your consent." I muttered under my breath and before he could get too angry added. "I found a way for us to get to Mezreel more quickly."

"And what did you find?" He asked after a short, unsure sort of pause.

"Dannsair, she's a winged horse and she's fast, so I thought I could ride her and-" He halted me with that warning expression on his face.

"You wish to ride ahead?"

"Let me finish!" I ordered him for once. "I asked if there might be more pegusi near here and if she could convince them to help us. It will cut the time down by two days at the very least and this will be finished more quickly, giving them less time to retaliate from...my fight." My fingers touched the injured shoulder as I remembered that fight. The retaliation for it would not be good.

"Does your shoulder hurt?" Caspian's voice held concern and I snapped back to attention.

"No, its fine." I let my hand drop back to the horn on my saddle. "I was just thinking about yesterday. I hope they won't do Edwin harm because of what I did." It felt good to speak what I was really thinking to him.

"I don't believe they will." Caspian replied and my nose wrinkled a little as I frowned at him.

"Truly? Why is that?" Not that I did not want it to be true but was he just trying to spare my feelings on the matter?

"If they had wanted to hurt him, don't you think they would have done it at first?" He said reasonably. "I think they wish to use him as...leverage against us."

"So they have something to blackmail us with." I answered back, realization dawning on me and then something else came to mind. "What if their using him?"

"Using him?" Caspian asked sounding confused. "Isn't that what I just said?"

"No, I meant as," _Since he's good, they could be using him to get into places and since he's so small his hand would have fit into the wall to reach the lever. _But of course I didn't say this, it would prompt me to bring James into the conversation and I still felt I didn't have solid proof to have him proven guilty. I also could not keep an image out of my head of him standing before Sparrow and asking me about regretting something? Could Caspian's assassination attempt be what he regretted? Or was he involved with Edwin's disappearance and this danger in Narnia? And now that I thought about it...it seemed very likely that he could be connected with both.

I jerked out of my contemplation and finished my sentence. "As a spy almost. I know he wouldn't do it willingly but if they were threatening him or," I remembered the day he'd disappeared and I'd went after him. He'd thought a nice lady was taking him for a walk. "He may not know what's really going on." And I explained what he'd said that day to Caspian.

I gave Caspian a curious look as I saw him shake his head at me slightly when I finished. "What?" I asked quizzically.

"You make me think twice about things." When I started to protest that I wasn't trying to insult his judgment he waved me off with a half-smile. "When I think about a problem and come to a conclusion thinking I've looked at it every way possible you say something and put things together that shouldn't make sense but always seem to make more sense than anyone else. Your thinking seems logical and illogical at the same time." He teased with these last words and a laughed softly.

"I disagree, your thinking seems much more rational than mine, you put things together slowly and turn them around in your mind. When I think about these problems it feels like all I know scrambles together in my head and goes in a thousand different directions at once." I explained feeling only a little embarrassed at admitting what I thought to him for he looked interested in it.

He thought about that for a second before saying. "That's a curious thing."

I tipped my head to the side at him. Was that a bad thing?

He took one glance at my face and added. "I don't mean that badly, I just think it's strange that all four of you think so differently. Peter thought rather rashly, Edmund was calmer but was liable to make a joke out of it before anything else and Su,"

I grimaced almost imperceptibly and Caspian paused. "What?"

I almost spat out a nothing but knew that was the quickest way to gather more attention on the subject than I wanted. "Go on." I said with a mild shake of my head.

"Well, Su was _logical_. Logical in every way. She didn't put up with nonsense in any form." He finished but I could see there was more he wanted to say and that irritated me and at the same time saddened me.

"That's Su, always the realistic one." I said mostly to just fill the air between us that at the mere mention of my sister's name felt as if there was a barrier now between us that hadn't been there just a moment before. _Su, the logical, realistic one. Always the one to first try to disprove whatever theory I may have had. _

"Lu?" There was a note of something not wary but something odd as he asked in a careful voice. "How is she? Truly?"

For the first time I let my gaze wander around us and didn't let it linger on him. So he couldn't see my expression. "She's," I had to think about my answer. "_Different." _I said after a moment or two.

Caspian didn't question my choice of words but said. "Lu," There was caution etched in his tone as he asked this next question. "Are you and Susan not," Caspian halted and he actually looked as if he were at a loss for words at what he wanted to ask.

He didn't have to finish though; I knew what he was trying to ask. "No, I don't suppose we're as close as we once were. But Ed and I had been staying at our aunt and uncles a long way from where she now lives." I squared my shoulders and blurted out my next words before I lost my nerve. "Do you miss her, Caspian?" And then I tensed slightly for I knew his answer had the power to tear everything I wanted to believe of us apart.

"Do you mean would I wish her here in place of you?" He prodded questioningly, his voice gentle.

My head jerked his way but I did not answer back.

"Lu." The way he said my name was a little drawn out and prompted me to return his gaze. Our conversation was to be interrupted though, as I heard someone call my name. Caspian and I both turned to search for the source and I spotted a flash of gold landing amidst the forest and its many inhabitants of the moment.

"Its Dannsair," I said and it bounced me back to our previous conversation. "Caspian was my idea alright? If Dannsair was successful?"

"It's a good idea if Dannsair was able to find enough to carry a hundred at least. We're not going ahead without some strength of numbers." He replied and nodded at me. "Go on and let me know what she says."

As he nudged Destrier back forward to the front, ahead of his men I watched him for a second, wishing that he had finished his sentence. It seemed that one of us always got interrupted some way or another.

~X~X~

It wasn't too much later that I found Dannsair and she informed me that she had indeed done as I'd asked. And had been successful.

"Your Majesty, you should be proud of me! I've brought you an entire herd of my closest friends, surely they were not so easy to convince, but I did it!" She flicked each of her dainty hooves from the ground in a dance.

"Your humbleness consumes me." I said dryly, a teasing smile dancing on my lips. And seriously. "I am proud of you and I thank you for doing this. You truly are a great friend."

She snorted at my first comment but tossed her head at my compliments. "And you are welcome My Queen."

"So where are they?" I asked, looking towards the sky.

"I asked them to come with caution and in pairs. They should be arriving at any moment." The golden animal answered.

As if to back her words up, my head leaned back along with dozens of others as a pair of four winged beasts came gliding our way and landed amongst us.

The largest of the four stepped out despite the shouts of men and his deep voice rumbled across the crowd. "Who has called for me and my family? Step forward and let it be known that Dannsair of Felion speaks the truth."

The voice aside from its deep rumbling was greatly familiar to my mind. I slipped from Sparrow's back and pushed through the crowd as they crowded together more suspicious than curious.

And who did I happen to shove against? James. He raised a hand to shove back but stopped short when he saw I stood beside him and instead shoved at the man ahead of him. "Her Majesty requests to pass. Now." He snapped to him starkly.

It took a few moments but I finally got to the front to find Caspian already stood, talking with a huge grey horse.

The animal was much larger than any average horse and his build was stocky and broad. His wide forehead framed with a long, unruly mane just a shade darker than that of his body. His hooves as large as my head it seemed. And I knew him. Or his father rather.

"Gestilion!" I exclaimed in surprise and the large animal turned from Caspian, to me instead.

I could see his black eyes calculating me and then he said almost gingerly. "Do I behold Her Majesty Queen Lucy or do mine eyes deceive me this day?"

I slipped forward and past Caspian to let my arms slide around the great animal's thick neck. "It is I, Gestilion. I'd truly no idea you were here or I would have come myself." The great animal would have to be hundreds of years old by now. He'd only been a colt when I'd last seen him.

"It is no problem Queen Lucy," The animal took a large step back and his front legs folded beneath him as he bowed to us. "Your Majesties. My father trusted you with his life Queen Lucy and I am humbled you would ask for our help and I can send for friends if my herd is not large enough to help you."

I dropped into a curtsy for the animal, a prince among his kind. "I cannot thank you enough old friends."

"How many do you require of us Your Majesty?" He asked kindly.

I looked around at Caspian and gestured him forward and into the conversation.

It wasn't too long after that it was settled, 200 hundred of the finest winged horses would be flying us to Mezreel and Gestilion would be among them.

Caspian would be astride Gestilion and me on Dannsair as she would be getting my story out of me one way or another. The only great problem we had of flying was we had to fly at night. If we wished to be discreet that is.

The first day it would not matter but after that we'd have no choice but go under cover of night. We'd have less chance of being discovered that way. I had hope we'd make it to Mezreel within 3 days' time at the most.

We flew. The sun high overhead and making me crouch over Dannsair's neck in an attempt to shield myself from the midday heat.

"Are you to make me beg?" She demanded, puffing beneath me.

I patted her neck. "What did you tell me earlier? Have patience or something of the like?" I reminded her teasingly.

"Did you kiss him?" She finally burst out.

I blushed bashfully at her subtleness or rather lack of. "Who?" I mumbled.

"The young man, Thomas!" She exclaimed with fervor. "He fancies you a great deal I believe."

"Oh," I blinked with surprise; I'd thought she was speaking of Caspian. I'd honestly hardly thought of Thomas' kiss after the night of the ball, in fact I'd been trying to forget it because I didn't feel I cared for him in that way, or I didn't think I did. "Thomas did kiss me."

Dannsair's head swung about and she looked at me while flying with one big brown eye. "You don't sound very enthusiastic about it."

I studied my hands on Dannsair's withers. "I don't think I care for him in that way. I love him as a friend, a dear friend but I don't think I love him as...as-"

"As you do Caspian!" The winged horse squealed dramatically.

I leaned even farther forward and buried my face in her creamy mane. "Dannsair, please." I groaned aloud. "Wouldn't you rather I tell you about the three demon women I fought yesterday? Or..." I trailed off as I tried to think of something else that would occupy her. "Anything."

She rose slightly over a hilltop covered in wild deer, making them scatter in surprise.

"No, I'd much rather hear what happened to have you so angry at the ball that you would ignore King Caspian all evening. But dance the night away with none other than His Lord Marquise and Thomas. Who," She took a breath. "I'd like to know helped him escape, though I can guess."

I opened my mouth and took in a great breath of air and set in on explaining everything. Well, almost everything. For whatever reason I kept Caspian's and my kisses a secret to myself. I told of how he'd apologized that night but I stopped shy of our argument and skipped over it. I don't know why I didn't tell her other than I wished it to be between Caspian and I or I didn't want to tell her for I knew she'd convey it as much, much more than it probably was and I knew if listened to her reasoning I would believe it a whole lot easier.

It would give me hope that he cared for me as I did him.

But by the end of my story Dannsair did not seem disappointed but all the more convinced that he did care for me and Thomas must as well. And perhaps even James despite his obviously treasonous mind. Those words being Dannsair's and not my own.

By the time dusk was darkening the sky I felt drained from all the questions Dannsair had loosed on me. I felt myself slipping as I fell into a dream. Or perhaps it was not a dream.

"Lucy!" Dannsair shrieked at me, pulling me out of my slumber. "Hold on."

I jerked fully aware and grasped back onto her mane and righted myself from plunging to the ground. _Well that would be a rather bad way to end this day. _I thought wryly.

But as I tried I could not seem to keep my head from drooping sleepily back down and it was the third time of Dannsair calling me awake that she finally said.

"You must ride with someone else; you'll fall if you keep this up until morning."

"She can ride with me." Caspian's voice came from beside us somewhere.

_How long has he been there? _I covered a yawn. "That's alright; I don't wish to be more of a burden on Gestilion's back."

"Nonsense, it would be an honor to carry you." The great steed replied and he flew closer to Dannsair despite my protests.

Caspian reached out his arms for me and I slung one leg over Dannsair's back so I sat on her back with both legs hanging off. "Catch my hand," Caspian called comfortingly. "I won't let you fall."

I hesitated but a moment before I did as he said and reached out until the horses were close enough so I could reach his hand. His strong fingers closed over my hand and he said. "Now push off and jump."

I obeyed and his other hand caught my waist as he pulled me over and onto Gestilion's back. Once I'd righted myself in front of Caspian I murmured. "Thank you."

As sleepy as I was, I found that trying to sleep with Caspian just behind me was not an option. I couldn't seem to get comfortable and I didn't want to bother him by leaning back.

Caspian, though, always seemed to read my mind for he placed a hand on my shoulder gently. "Lean back and rest Lu."

I shivered a little from his touch and did indeed lean back gingerly. It was several minutes of leaning stiffly back that I started to feel his chest rumble at my back and I could hear him humming a song at my ear.

The slow tune was soft and lilting, teasing my ears, a reminder of that night weeks ago when I'd had a nightmare. I slowly relaxed back and he rested a hand on my shoulder lightly and the other on my waist to keep me in place on the horse's back.

As first one star and then another came out my eyes drooped once more and I started slipping into a doze. I shifted, already half asleep, making myself more comfortable as I rested my head on his chest at an odd angle but it was rather more comfortable than it sounds. But then, I supposed it could have just been the person.

Either way I did fall asleep and didn't wake for a long while.

~X~X~X~

I woke being lifted into the air and I snapped alert in a second, my eyes widening open to find I was looking at Caspian. Or rather into his dark eyes.

"Its ok, Lu, we're stopping to rest a bit." He said only a little tiredly. "Not that you need it." He added teasingly.

I laughed softly into his chest. "You can put me down." I offered, knowing he needed to get some sleep.

"I don't mind carrying you, you're very light." He replied and flashed me a small but brilliant smile in the early morning light.

"You need rest Caspian." I argued only halfheartedly for he was rather warm and I felt safe and snug in his arms.

Moments later he sat me on the ground and said. "I'll be right back." Before disappearing into an imminently smaller group than when we'd first started and I knew it was because we'd split into smaller groups to be less of a target for our enemies.

When he returned he held two plates. One for me and one for him.

I murmured my thanks and we dug into the hot meal.

I wish I could say that we talked more that day or that he finished one of the many interrupted moments we'd had together but he slept and I rested until nightfall and then we were off, another night of quiet flight.

The good news being that we would be able to reach Tashbaan by the very next morning if there was no delay.

But as I lay that night with the thought of being in Tashbaan by the very next night I felt unease start to creep its way into my heart. And I spoke to Aslan in my heart for his comfort.

_Please protect us Aslan; I fear this path we're on all of a sudden. I knew it was dangerous to begin with but I cannot rid myself of my fear now. Fear for Caspian. Fear for Narnia. Rid me of this fear, please for I trust you with everything. I know you're with us. _

It was after that I must have fallen asleep...

The first thing I saw was a ghost of a person, shrouded by an impenetrable rain but somehow I knew they kept their back to me for they did not want me to see their face.

"Who are you really?" My voice came distantly and raspy through the pouring rain, unfamiliar to my own ears. "I know you are the one who leads this madness upon Narnia."

The figure moved ever so slightly and she was now half turned towards me. "You know who I am." She hissed at me and her voice seemed to vibrate off the raindrops themselves.

It felt as if ice was pouring through my veins as I raised two glowing blades as one, crossing them upon its twin and glowing with a light I couldn't look directly at.

I could hear the woman's screech of annoyance as she saw the blades and cowered back as they seemed to cut through the rain, however dense it was.

"You fight unfairly to you-" The rest of her words were lost as a cannonball sound of thunder knocked me to the ground.

Suddenly though I was back on my feet and face to face with the woman. My blue eyes stared into a pair of brown ones and they shew nothing but hate, something I had never before witnessed so violently in a person before.

I could see the woman.

I could hear the woman.

I knew who this woman in front of me was.

Her cold features made my fingers curl with a sudden adrenaline. I was ready for a fight. I wanted this to end and I wouldn't be the one to die. Or if I did I wouldn't be lying in my own blood alone.

She would be lying with me.

Like she knew my very thoughts I saw a blinding flash and cringed back, when I could see again I saw we were no longer alone. A man was on his knees beside her and the violent wind tore at his dark hair leaving no doubt as to whom it was.

My adrenaline that quickly was gone at the sight of the knife that she held at his throat. _One of my daggers. _I realized with a sickening feeling.

"Please, stop. You know it's me you want, not him. I give myself freely for his life." I screamed into the rain and into her horrible face.

She threw her head back and laughed into the black sky. "Actually, it was both of you I wanted. All I wanted was for you to suffer watching this." She paused, the knife still pressed at his throat as she pierced me with her eyes. "As one of my followers once told you, you will be made to suffer until you yourself wish for death."

When I looked back at her hand and the knife I felt as if I had been the one at the hand of her blade. For a second I could only stare. But my chest heaved with a want for air I could not get. _Caspian, I love you. _I was on my knees and the sound that came from my mouth was one to rival that of the heaven's thunder. As I looked back down all I could see were lifeless eyes staring back at me and the mouth that shouldn't have been moving saying a few last words. "You were too late."

"No." I said. "No. No!" I screamed to the sky.

"Lucy." Caspian said. "Lucy!" His arms were strong around me as he pulled me into his arms. "Wake up, Lu."

I was awake. Nothing could have kept me in that dream a moment longer. I fought at the tears as a picture more horrifying than anything I'd ever seen played in my head, a mockery to me.

"Lucy, love, you were having a dream." Caspian fingers touched my forehead and he brushed at my hair, pushing it from my face.

As he leaned away from me I clutched at his shirtfront desperate for a handhold to safety, to the one person who could comfort me without even trying.

"I'm awake." I managed to say hoarsely.

His arms pulled me closer, tighter to his side as he asked carefully. "Do you want to speak of it?"

I didn't want to cry. I didn't. Not in front of him, he'd seen me weak enough already. It felt that if I did cry in front of him I would be giving up the last wall that still held against him and the attraction I was still fighting because I was scared he wouldn't feel the same.

I didn't know I was trembling until he pulled his cloak around my shoulders for warmth and comfort both. "Caspian." I said the word muffled and unintelligible for the most part but Caspian seemed to know what I said, he always did.

"What is it Lu? Can I get you anything?" I could hear fear in his voice and he seemed unsure of what to do as his fingers caressed my cheek warmly.

My frayed nerves were beginning to calm a little by then and I shook my head at how ridiculous he must think me right now, a child seeking comfort from a nightmare again. "I'm sorry Caspian."

"You needn't apologize for anything Lu." He said tenderly, brushing at my hair. "Do you want to tell me what it was about?" His offer was sweet and I opened my mouth to tell him but the fading light of another day cast a shadow under the cover of trees we hid under but there was just enough light to make the gold sparkle in his dark brown eyes. I froze briefly but something made me raise my head from his chest.

He stared back at me and I leaned just a little and let my lips brush against his skin and then across his rough cheek as I searched for his mouth. When they touched I halted, our lips barely brushing. I paused for a second and almost pulled back but stopped, his lips too tempting an invitation. Him too much of a comfort to me.

I closed my eyes and did something I had never thought I would do. I kissed Caspian. Warm lips were against mine in a second and I could feel him stiffen and knew I'd surprised him. But he didn't pull away, no, instead his hand that had been brushing at my hair stilled on the back of my head, pressing me gently forward into the kiss.

And for a long instant it was okay. But something shifted in that kiss or rather it made something shift inside of me and I could feel the tears back, bubbling at the surface and nearly slipping down my cheeks as warmth from his mouth moving on mine ran through my being.

I pulled away before it was too late and jerked my head to the side, away from his mouth. Parting our lips from each other's. From his dangerous kiss.

I took a shallow breath.

"Caspian."

"Lucy."

We said at the same time and I shivered even though he did not touch me, his kiss still made my skin burn with fire.

"Caspian!" Another voice said and it was not mine. Thomas, of all people came running to where we sat on the ground. "Is she alright?" He carried a cup, and steam rose from it. "Lu?" He peered down at me and saw that I was awake. "Are you alright now?" He held the cup out to me and I took it, thankful for a distraction.

I took a gulp, letting the hot drink burn at my tongue before I muttered hoarsely. "I'm fine, Thomas, thank you."

As I took another cautious sip, Thomas lowered himself to the ground on my other side. "You were dreaming weren't you?" He asked quietly and I nodded.

Caspian interjected here. "You don't have to speak of it if you don't want to Lu."

I could feel Thomas frown at Caspian. "Perhaps, Lucy, it might help if you told someone. I don't wish to see you as fearful as you were minutes ago." Thomas' offer was kind but I could not rid the Thomas I'd witnessed back at the hiding place of the Shamerim from my mind. The Thomas that had mocked Caspian for a kiss. From me.

At the same time though I did want to speak of my dream. Something still felt at unease in my heart. "We need to leave." I'm not sure what made me say it but I did and it felt in my heart the right decision. "We need to go now. And we don't need to stop again." I whispered and pushed to my feet. "Can we leave now?"

Caspian was on his feet in an instant. "What is it Lu?"

I shook my head for I didn't know. "I'm not sure but we need to leave now, I- it feels like we're about to run out of time." And the words I'd heard from the man so long ago echoed in my head. _And when she's ready there'll be no stopping her. _

"Run out of time for what?" James, this time appeared where we now stood.

I glared at him before I caught myself. "I don't know, but I think we need to leave now." I swung on Thomas and Caspian. "Can you trust me?" I didn't wait for any of them to answer and set off to find Dannsair. Completely aware that I may have sounded a little crazy but not caring at that moment.

If my dream was any indication of what was about to happen I wasn't going to stop at anything to prevent it from happening.

~X~X~X~

"What was that all about young lady?" Dannsair demanded as we lifted into the air a short time later.

"A dream." I replied shortly.

"Do I dare ask what about?" The horse sounded cautious and that was a first, making me realize I must sound more serious than I'd thought.

I bit my lip hard but instead of answering her I said. "I kissed Caspian just a moment ago."

"You what?" She squealed, attracting the attention of many others that flew around us.

"Shhhh!" I ordered her. "I kissed him."

"You kissed His Majesty, King Caspian? On the lips?" She shrieked a bit less loudly. "What did he say? What did you say?"

"Hush, Dannsair someone will hear!" I gave her pointed tipped ears a scowl. "Neither of us said anything as Thomas showed up, checking on me."

"Oh dear me! You truly have these men running amuck don't you child?" The winged horse teased unhelpfully.

I rubbed at my temple. "You act as if that's a good thing."

The horse seemed to think of my reply a second before saying. "No, perhaps not. It just makes things more curious to watch; at least it does for me." She snorted a laugh.

"You really aren't a bit of help.'' I remarked over her amusement. "Remind me to have a talk with Destrier when I see him again."

The horse just snorted in her laughter even harder as she sped on across the skies and Tashbaan's gates came closer. _Tashbaan and the end of this. _

~X~X~X~X~

-Tashbaan ``that night``

The streets were bustling with people despite the later hour when everyone should have been having dinner. Instead they were out and crowding the streets for a festival, I learned as Dannsair and I stuck close to each other through the many people, though I knew guards were watching me from every angle.

I was thankful for the crowd, because even when Caspian's men had been split into smaller groups and some having been left behind to follow more slowly on horseback we were still rather large. The crowd of Tashbaan kept us hidden and looking inconspicuous to curious eyes. Or at least as long as I kept under the cloak Caspian had lain on me that morning, keeping my face from the good people of Tashbaan. The same went for Caspian, or I'd thought so until I heard cries and shouts of excitement run through the crowd and turned along with them, smiling, expecting to see some great trick or attraction that gathered the people's attention, but no, it was Caspian. He made no attempt to hide his presence. As he, on Gestilion's back trotted forward, the people parted, making way for him and the guard that followed alongside and behind him.

"What is he doing?" I said aloud in disbelief, ignoring the moving crowd around me until someone bumped into me and turned to say.

"Do you not know who it is child?" The middle aged woman had a look of disbelief in her gray eyes as she asked the question. "It is King Caspian. He is early for his visit to our humble city."

I feigned a delighted look for the woman's benefit even with half my face shielded from her. "Oh gracious me!"

She cast a curious eye at my clothing. "And you not fit to feed the hogs! Hurry child and get cleaned up, you should've bathed for the festival at least." She waved at me as I was one of the city's children she saw every day.

"I've no time I'm afraid." I murmured politely, it wasn't that I didn't have the time it was that I didn't need to be recognized.

"Oh don't be ridiculous. His Majesty won't even glance your way if you look as you do. I bet there is pretty lass under that dirt." Her hand darted forward all of a sudden and I had no time to move as she shoved my hood back. "And get rid of that cloak for goodness' sake-"

"Don't!" I tried to shield my face but her eyes widened with shock anyway.

"Oh, Your Majesty, I- I-"

I jerked my hood back up and hid my face, glad no one paid attention to us when Caspian rode through the streets for all to see.

"I- I'm sorry. I had no idea or I wouldn't-" She tried to apologize.

I grasped the woman's arm. "Please, hush, I've want not to be seen right now." I whispered to her and then released her arm.

"Of course, of course." She repeated. "I did not mean to be rude, please forgive my behavior, Your-"

"Lucy." I cut in abruptly and stopped her before she could curtsy. "Call me Lucy."

"Oh, yes Your- Lucy. I'm Annabella." She replied and I could see the curiosity in her eyes, I knew she was wondering why, exactly, I was hiding.

But that was something she did not need to know. I peered at the woman a second time though, taking in her light eyes and curving cheekbones. She reminded me of someone.

"Tell me," I asked in a hushed voice. "How is it that you recognized me?" So many people hadn't back in Calormen when I'd first arrived so how was it this woman had one glimpse at my face and knew who I was?

She frowned a little. "I- I- well you've just arrived when His Majesty has so I suppose I assumed and I've seen paintings of you but you were a bit older."

My nose wrinkled as I tried to place her features. "Pardon, Annabella, but you seem very familiar."

"Perhaps you've met one of my children?" She suggested politely.

_No, that's not it. _"Who is your mother?" I questioned abruptly.

She shook her head at that question. "Oh, my mother and I aren't as close as we were when I was younger so I doubt it is her I remind you of."

"Actually," I started. "She said something of the sort back in Calormen." I tried to speak carefully for I wasn't entirely sure of the problem between mother and daughter. "Your mother's name is Elle, correct?"

The woman looked perplexed and then angry. "What has she said about me then? The old witch."

I blinked in surprise. "Pardon?" _The old witch? _

The woman looked back to the procession still coming through the streets. "Never mind me, my mother and I haven't gotten along for a long time. It is a curious thing, I've not heard from her for a time and now you show up only days after I've received a letter from her. She-" The woman looked back at me, unsure and I gave her a nod to continue. "She even spoke of you, I just did not believe her, but now you're before my eyes and I wonder why is it you may be here so soon after and it not be a coincidence?"

There was a question in there I knew and it _was _a strange coincidence. A strange one indeed. _Why would Elle write to her daughter about me? Unless she thought there was a chance I might meet her? And for what reason would she have for me meeting her daughter? _

"What did she say about me?" I asked finally. "She spoke of your return and what a surprise it was. She said you were a sweet and a mischievous person." The woman studied me. "You don't seem the sort to be mischievous."

"And you don't seem the sort to stop speaking to her mother without a good reason." I replied perhaps too boldly but I was curious of this woman and why Elle might want me to meet her or if she did at all.

But the woman in front of me did not seem to think me impertinent. "You are right, she was my mother for many years and I thought I knew her but she turned out to be not what I thought." She raised her shoulders as if to say it was the past and nothing more to her but I could see the pain it still caused in her eyes. "So you see, we do not speak and keep our distance."

"I'm sorry." I said for it was all I could come up with. Somehow I couldn't quite picture Elle being anything but caring and gentle, perhaps a bit of a talker but nice nonetheless. A good mother.

She shook her head. "It's fine."

I looked up then and it registered that Caspian had already disappeared from my sight. "I must be going; they've already gotten ahead of me." I sent the woman a half smile. "It was nice meeting you Annabella; perhaps some time when I'm in less a hurry we could have tea and talk."

"Of course Lucy, if you like I can show you through the town though, there's a festival going on and if you're in a hurry I can show you a quicker way to the other side of town." Her words were quick, hurried. Like she wanted to ask me something before I left but she wasn't sure how.

"That's very kind of you." I replied. _How did you know I was going to the other side of town? _Any other time I might have refused the kind offer but I truly was very curious about Elle and her daughter now. Why had she called her an old witch? Elle seemed a sweet old woman so what would cause her daughter to turn against her so?

She smiled and offered her arm so we could lock elbows as not to lose one another in the crowd.

~X~X~X~

After that we couldn't really talk for there was much bumping, jostling and shoving as we pushed through the crowd. I knew Caspian's men watched me and must have been wondering what exactly I was doing. But I tried not to pay any attention to that and instead let Annabella pull me through the crowd until she came to a stop in the very middle of the fray and leaned to ask.

"Where exactly are you going Your Majesty?" Like she knew my previous question to myself and she said it to offset me.

My lips turned into a frown at the question and I glanced around, knowing Caspian was still a good bit ahead and I wasn't sure where he was going. I hadn't known he'd planned to make it known to every person of Tashbaan and its surrounding towns that he was here. _What a foolish- Oh my gosh, that was his plan. _I rolled it around in my head and nearly rolled my eyes at my own ignorance. Of course he'd want everyone to know he was here so as to make sure his plan would work.

"Wherever King Caspian is going." I answered her and gestured vaguely for I wasn't sure where he was at the moment. "I came into Tashbaan with him and his guard so I suppose I'll be following him."

She gave me a funny smile. "You don't know for sure?"

"Oh, no, it's just I'm not sure where he's going at this particular moment, I thought that..." I bit my tongue to halt myself. _Yes, Lu, tell this almost complete stranger what exactly you're doing here. _

"You thought what?" She asked, sounding more absentmindedly curious than anything, a light in her eyes.

"Oh nothing." I hurriedly covered my almost mistake. "I was thinking of something else. Now, tell me what is Tashbaan celebrating?"

This seemed catch the woman's attention and she started in about the festival and how they were celebrating a good year of crops and the coinciding towns, and even some farther off were coming to feast and bring family together. Caspian would have been coming here to celebrate with them anyway later on that week but he'd been delayed and then gotten here early. If that made any sense.

~X~X~X~

I confess I was starting to yawn as I stood and followed and listened to Annabella for the next few hours. She spoke of the people, of which I was happy to listen as they were my people. But she also spoke of many things, past times and years, celebrations I hadn't been able to witness and people I hadn't been able to dance alongside. It made me miss the Golden Age and made me want to celebrate with these people, _my people. _And dance alongside them once more.

It made me really think about a time that would come and I would have to go back to England and my family. But you see, when you have family in two places, you don't wish to be torn between them for you know that there's a part of your heart that will always lie with them. It felt that way for me. I wanted and missed my brothers, sister, cousin, parents and even aunt and uncle but at the same moment I truly questioned living without Narnia, I knew Aslan would always be with me but what about Caspian? Would I slip from his world, his life, without scarcely a memory? I knew he wouldn't with me.

I'd never forget the first man I'd fallen in love with.

The only man I wanted to be in love with.

"Lucy!" Dannsair's rich, unmistakable voice called out for me to stop and broke me out of my bittersweet stance as I followed Annabella.

"Dannsair?" I said. "I'm here."

Elle's daughter came to a stop and exclaimed. "Dear me, look at the time! I've kept you all the while! Gracious, please forgive me Your- Lucy."

"It's quite alright." I told her as Dannsair came trotting through the crowd. "It was quite an enjoyable walk, though I confess I am still curious about one thing."

She raised a light brow at me. "Oh and what is that?"

"Lucy," Dannsair interrupted us. "Caspian asks where you've gotten to. He wants to speak with you." She hissed loudly, ignoring the woman.

_Well that can't be good. _"Dannsair," I said politely to cover the horse's rudeness. "This is Annabella and Annabella this is Dannsair, my friend and somewhat prone to interrupting me rudely companion." I grinned at the end to ensure to both I was only joking.

"Well now, I didn't have to come find you." The golden animal replied. "And also Thomas has requested that if I see you to tell you he wishes to speak with you as well." Her tone was bright but I felt a something akin to unease. Thomas and I still weren't...we were still a bit at odds. We hadn't truly spoken to one another until my nightmare and that had been the last since.

"It is nice to meet you Dannsair; you are quite a beautiful color." Annabella spoke up, complimenting her.

Dannsair, being Dannsair arched her neck with pleasure, preening a bit. "Why thank you, my family prides itself on..."

"Dannsair," I stopped her.

"Oh, quite right." She gave Annabella a pointed glance. "We really must be going; His Majesty wishes to see Her Majesty and we shan't keep them apart shall we?"

Elle's daughter shook her head smoothly and smiled at me. "No," She said. "We can't have _that,"_

"It is fine but I really do need to go." I gave her a smile though her emphasis on the one word made me give her a second look. "Thank you for your assistance and company, I appreciate both."

She smiled at me and nodded. "I am glad I could help. But there was something you said you were still curious about..?" She trailed off questioningly.

I shot Dannsair a glance to give us some privacy but she stayed planted where she was at, despite the people she was blocking in the cobblestone street.

"I- I wondered why it was that you called your mother an old witch." I murmured quietly, hoping it was not too delicate a question.

As if by habit the fingers of her right hand went to her left forearm and they rubbed a familiar pattern upon her skin. I blinked in surprise as I saw something I hadn't noticed before then. Something stained her skin and it bore a permanent mark.

My eyes shot back to hers as she said. "I suppose, putting it simply, you could say we each had our own set of rules and they each went against the others. And we both left a memory and a mark on the other for our trouble." Her voice was stiff and I could tell the memory was not a comfortable subject with her, so without further trouble I bid her goodbye and let Dannsair lead me forwards to the place where I'd be sleeping that night, or morning rather.

The one thing I couldn't keep from my mind was the half mark I'd seen on Annabella's arm. A curving H, winding along the bottom and the top half cut off by her sleeve but I would have recognized the symbol anywhere. It was that of the witch women I'd fought and killed.

So where did that leave me? Was I unable to trust no one at all anymore?

~X~X~X~

"Caspian." Was my greeting as I entered his borrowed room in the cities small, yet beautiful castle like home, built entirely for just such occasions such as this. When their king came to visit. And even when he was there the other rooms were kept open for anyone who needed a bed. A sort of boarding situation I suppose you could say.

"Lucy," He greeted me back. "Have a seat of you like." He made a gesture at a large cushioned seat that sat in a corner near him and a few of his men who stood over a map. I walked over to them, declining his offer silently.

"What is it you still seek?" I questioned, for the location had already been decided to my greatest knowledge.

"Well, you see Queen Lucy," Eosu spoke, pointing at the area of Tashbaan and the location of where our plan would be taking place. "We've only about a quarter of our usual men."

"And we'll only be able to cover a few sides completely." Caspian took over. "Unless we waste the days we spent to get ahead and wait for the others as we've no true idea of what numbers we're up against."

I shook my head at that. "And what if it's not as great a number as we expect?"

"What if it is?" Caspian replied back. "What if we're outnumbered by three times what we are?"

He made a good point but I did not cower back from the seriousness of his eyes and tone. "No." I whispered, knowing what I was about to say would most likely sound naive, childish. "We have to do it now. If we don't, it will be too late." I said and my voice was steady. I wasn't sure exactly why I knew that it would be, but I felt in my heart that if we waited a day or so longer that there wouldn't be any point in this. It would be too late to stop any of it.

Caspian glanced at his men saying. "Could you see after Thomas?" It was more order than question. He was just trying to get rid of them so we could speak alone.

As the door closed he faced me, crossing to stand in front of me. "What is it Lu? What has you so adamant that we have to do it this instant? Or is it just you feel we have to do _something_ now?"

I glared at the chair he'd offered me when I'd come in. "Caspian, if I could give you an honest answer I would."

"Then by all means speak." He replied, holding his hands out before us.

"Caspian," I balled my hands at my side. "I don't know. I just feel that if we wait any longer it will be too late. That Edwin's life will be wasted. That this danger will become something more, something more dangerous than we could've imagined."

"Was it something from your dream?" He finally asked bluntly.

"Perhaps some." I admitted softly.

"And will you tell me what it was?" He caught one of my hands and pulled me to sit down on the edge of the large chair beside him.

I didn't fight him and sat before saying. "I was fighting a woman again and she was familiar." I paused as I could almost see her picture in my head so clearly and yet it was so bleary. "She looked so familiar but it's like every time I think the dream over in my mind her face is always just so, so I can't quite see it."

"And?" He nudged me in the arm gently.

"And she told me that I knew who she was, we fought and she said that I fought unfairly." I frowned as I tried to remember. "She said I fought unfairly with the blades you'd given me."

"The twin swords?" He asked, only a little surprised looking.

I nodded. "They are magical, I believe. Or they hold a certain magical quality. When the creatures first approached me outside the wall of your hidden place, my sword glowed as if it were a warning to me."

He blinked at that. "I'd no idea of that when I bought them." And then added. "What happened in your dream after?"

I hesitated at this part. I didn't have to tell him about my saying that I loved him.

Someone knocked at Caspian's door, a welcome distraction as I tried to find a way around telling him the rest of my dream. Caspian said something to the person at the door but before he could close it back, James, I could see, as I peeked around Caspian, muttered something back to which prompted Caspian to scowl and send me quick glance.

"Lu, don't move if you will, I'll be back in just a moment." He didn't wait for my nod before slipping out the door and pulling it closed behind him.

I'd barely flopped back in the chair with relief when another knock came at the door.

"Caspian?" I frowned, why would he knock?

The door cracked an inch and then opened enough for someone to slip in. I was up off my chair and reaching for a sword before the man turned around and pulled his cloak down.

"Thomas!" I hissed in surprise. "What are you doing here?"

"Well," He started, smiling a bit too mischievously. "I followed this Queen from Calormen and she had me lead her past the borders of a secret society and somehow I ended up in Tashbaan, Calormen's capital with-"

"Alright!" I interrupted, a slight grin on my lips. "You know that's not what I meant, Caspian just sent Eosu and few others to keep watch of you and you've once again slipped away from them. What do you think that's going to cause?" I reprimanded him only a little.

The mischief in his eyes faded. "I'm sorry, Lucy, actually I had to speak with you for a moment and figured this would be the last time until this is over." He stepped across the room until he was right in front of me. "I had to tell you how I felt."

My heart came to a halt. Or at least it felt as if it had and I tried to keep my eyes from widening. "W- What?" _What? _

Thomas watched my expression and I hoped he couldn't read what I was thinking. "I had to tell you that I am so sorry for getting into the fight with Caspian." He pushed his hand back over his hair. "I never meant for it to happen and I- I shouldn't have said what I did."

_Oh, that's what he meant. _I breathed more easily. "Thomas," I paused to try and think and recover from what I'd thought he was going to say. "I can't say I'm not still angry at you for it, I don't know why you had to-" I cut myself off.

"Tell him we kissed?" There was something of a dare in his tone and my eyes met him and I could feel my temper rising.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked and I wasn't talking about his question but how he'd asked it.

Thomas shifted where he stood and sat beside me. "You don't want him to know we kissed." There was no question about his words.

"Caspian knows we kissed." I said, my voice icy.

"Because I told him." He replied.

"No, not you, but because I did." I snapped back.

Thomas paused then, disbelief in his eyes. "You- you told him? Why?"

I rolled my eyes at the question. "Is that not what you just wanted?" And I wasn't about to tell him what that argument had led up to and I'd used the words to make Caspian angry. And that it had worked. A little too well.

Thomas seemed unsure of this and stopped completely. "I'm sorry Lucy; I didn't come here to argue with you. I wanted to apologize for my behavior and I wanted to speak to you of something else. But only if you can ever forgive me."

What was I supposed to say to that? "Thomas, you are my friend, of course I forgive you but I'm still a little angry at you." I admitted truthfully, seeing no reason to hide what I really felt. "What else did you want to speak to me about?"

I thought I defined a nervous expression about him but it was nothing compared to the nerves that flared up in my stomach as he slipped to the floor in front of me on one knee and grasped my hand in his. "Lucy. Queen Lucy."

"T- Thomas?" I stuttered with a sudden fear that this was exactly what I'd first thought it to be.

He let his fingers slide between mine and held them up between us and I knew he was thinking of when I'd taken his hand and pulled him past the walls back at the Shamerim's fort like hideout.

"I don't know what's going to happen when this plan takes place and-"

"You're going with them?" This came as a brief surprise and I couldn't help wanting to stop this conversation.

"He squeezed my hand a little tighter. "It is a chance to gain back some trust or honor among the Narnian's." He leaned forward to press his lips to my fingers. "A chance to prove myself to you."

I'd like to say I stopped him then but I could not move my lips to make any coherent words, so he kept on.

"I know I don't have a title and so I'm not worthy of you but I have to tell you the truth. I-" He took a shaky breath. "I care for you, more than I thought I ever could one person. You've taught me so much in the short time I've known you, made me believe in things I never would have without you. You proved my innocence when you had no reason to believe in me."

"Thomas," I whispered, trying to stop something we both couldn't go back from.

He talked on. "I said what I did because I was...jealous of how close you and Caspian are." He looked down, only half ashamed and I tensed at the words that would come next.

"I want that, I want to prove myself so that perhaps you would fall in love with me as I have you someday." He said this all, looking more serious than I had truly ever seen him.

_Could I love Thomas? _That was the skeptical question that filled my mind. He was a good a friend. But could he be more? I knew my answer. _No. _Not when Caspian was anywhere near. It felt as if I were falling in love with Caspian and so long as I knew that his kiss hadn't been some excuse I wanted to hope that- well I wasn't exactly sure what I wanted to hope of him.

Thomas must have read some of what I was thinking for I could see a little anger burning in his eyes. "But you care for another don't you?" He didn't say his name but we both knew who he meant.

"Thomas," I tried. "I can't just-"

He interrupted me and he might as well have for I didn't know what to say to him. "Will you not even give me a chance?" He slipped his hand down and then pulled it back up, his fist closed. "I got this for you."

_Oh no. _I closed my eyes and when I opened them again his hand was open a small silver ring lay in his palm. "I wanted you to have it as a kind of promise."

_A promise for what? _I wanted to ask but I already knew.

His fingers brushed the skin of my wrist and then my elbow and I couldn't stop from shifting away in discomfort. He stopped, letting his hand drop back to my hand and his eyes came up to reach mine at the same instant his mouth touched mine.

_This isn't right. _Ran through my head. But as I made to pull away, he pulled me tighter asking for my kiss in return, asking for the kiss to mean as much to me as it did to him. _Stop. _I jerked back violently, shoving him away from me before the kiss could become something more, something more serious. "Thomas, stop." I managed, my words hardly audible to my own ears.

Thomas' expression as he looked back at me was one of defeat but then as his eyes passed me and he appeared to be looking at the door behind me I could see a bit of something like satisfaction and I swung about equally as violently as I'd pushed him away.

Caspian stood in the doorway and I could in no way describe what I saw on his face. For the first time in a while I could read his expression or some of it, the anger in his eyes only warred with the disappointment. And something else that I wasn't sure what it was.

All I knew was that he had been there long enough to see the kiss but what of the rest of it? "Caspian, I can't-"

"Its fine Lu," His gaze passed me over and his words tore at my heart. "I want you out of my room Delega." He hissed and I don't think I'd ever seen an expression quite like the one Caspian shew.

Caspian stepped to pass me and I moved to block him. "Caspian stop, no it isn't fine. I don't care-"

Thomas stopped me abruptly. "You don't care for what?"

"Yes, Lu, tell us do you care for him?" Caspian's tone was cool and cynical.

I froze. I did not care for Thomas in that way but neither did I want to refuse him so coldly. Instead I was proud to say that I chose to answer as a queen and not as a confused child, like I felt. "I will not be made to choose like this. I care for you, Thomas a great deal. You are a great friend and I regret I cannot repay the kindness' you have done for me."

"But it's not enough, is it?" Was Thomas' reply and I swung to face him. "You'll never care for me as you do _him_." He emphasized the one word and Caspian jumped back into the conversation.

"Who is he, Lu?" Caspian sounded positively predatory and I winced at his tone. _Is it not obvious? _

Thomas' laugh was hard. "Is it not obvious to you Caspian?"

My jaw clenched then and my temper rose. "Shut up Thomas." My words sounded like a threat though they weren't meant to be exactly. I moved to face him. "I cannot care for you in the way that you would have me." I put both hands on his shoulders. "I won't say I'm sorry for speaking the truth."

"That's the way it is then." He pushed past me, letting my arms drop. "As you wish Your Highness." My title was mocking on his lips. "Tell me, could I have changed your mind if he wasn't a part of your life?"

My silence was all the answer he needed before shoving out the door and letting it slam behind him. I didn't move my gaze from the door to Caspian who was still standing but when he said nothing I turned to face whatever he might have to say.

The thing was...he wasn't there.

He was gone.

_When did he leave? _The teardrops that fell from my eyes were from anger and the man I knew I'd just lost. And I didn't mean Thomas.

~X~X~X~X~

I almost followed Caspian. To try and explain. But if he didn't want to listen and just walked off then was there any point in trying to make him listen?

Instead I stalked angrily through the hallway and straight out the door of the mansion we were to stay the night at. The festival still crowded the streets and I let them pull me in like I was there to enjoy the music and dancing.

I was too angry to even think straight as I let the crowd push me along to the marketplace and into a larger crowd as they shouted and laughed with one another, having a good time.

_Aslan where are you? Why can nothing seem to go as planned or as I want? _My words were angry as I thought them. _Why can't Thomas understand? Why do they both have to be such men? _I scowled ferociously down at many feet in one place.

I wasn't sure how long I let the crowd jostle me as they did but I had by dark made it back to the small castle and I was just in sight of it, standing and glaring at its beauty.

If I hadn't still been so angry and if I had been paying more attention to everything except the fact that Caspian probably would refuse to speak with me ever again I might have known that someone had been following me all that time. I might have sensed the person's presence before the sharp blade of their knife found its way pointing sharply into my back just shy of piercing my flesh.

"You've one chance to do as I say." The person, a man, I figured, hissed threateningly in my ear. "Walk on quietly and I swear if you make a sound you'll be dead before you can finish screaming."

"How kind of you." I said back quietly and with sarcasm, hands already inside my cloak and on the swords Caspian had given me. My face paled instantly. They were both gone.

The man chuckled and my skin crawled as the voice sounded familiar. "You didn't think we'd leave you with a weapon this time? After you killed the three wenches without blinking an eye."

How had my swords been taken so easily? "What do you want of me? Why am I the one you're after?" I hissed back at him.

By this time we had turned a street corner that wasn't filled with people and I cursed my luck. Even though he claimed he would kill me I didn't believe him, I wouldn't be any use to them, whoever they were, dead.

So without further ado I let my fists ball under my cloak and waited for the opportune moment. When it came, I let my fists rise as high as my waist before I let them drop back down once more.

_What if this is a way to find Edwin? _This was the very thing Caspian had wanted partly. _Except I'm in his place and there's no guard whatsoever. _I growled at myself. This was the very thing Caspian had tried to protect me from.

And this had been the very night they would have put their plan into action. _In fact, _as we drew farther from the middle of town and from the crowd, I realized something. _It would've already been done by now. _They would already be out right now; Caspian would have had to go. _Is that why he left? _And there was something else that didn't feel right.

"You knew, didn't you?" I said back to my not all friendly companion.

"Knew what Your Highness?" He mocked in a hushed whisper to keep his identity a secret a while longer. He saved me the trouble of having to ignore his mocking question by saying. "Oh, you mean His Majesty's little secret plan? It's quite amusing actually," The man leaned close enough so his breath wafted over my ear and neck, I stiffened slightly but didn't cringe, didn't let him see that as a weakness he could hold over me. "Ridiculous even more so as all we had to do was cause a bit of a fight between you and His Majesty." The man chuckled eerily before shoving me roughly forward and nearly into the side of a horse that stood quietly, ready to carry me to...I wasn't sure where.

His words did not register at once but they did a half second later and I slammed to another stop before he could throw me atop the horse. _Cause a fight? No, it can't be Thomas. I don't believe it. He did not betray me. _I wanted to spit out but knew the man would just laugh in my face.

"So the Queen is keeping her silence now? I wonder how quiet she'll be when she witnesses something she thought she'd never see?" He trailed off letting the words sink in heavily upon my shoulders and heart, mocking me to ask him what he meant.

When I offered up no reply his hand hit me roughly between my shoulders and sent me stumbling nearly to my knees. He stood over me and pulled my wrists behind my back, binding them with rope. After he'd finished he pulled me up and hoisted me on the horse's back and then grasping the length of rope that was attached to the animal's bridle and jerked the horse's head forward and to his own mount, allowing me my own horse for that moment. I had figured he would've tossed me over its rump and let me ride like a sack of potatoes.

As he did not do it, I supposed that it confirmed that he must have been given orders not to harm me. Which served as a little bit of relief. Or it would have if the various threats and warnings of the past weeks hadn't been dancing about in my mind and the threat he'd just now issued. _And if we weren't leaving Tashbaan's city gates. _Went through my head as we left the gates and no one even made to stop us.

_Where are the guards? Why isn't anyone here to even question this? _I already knew the answer, whoever or whatever we were dealing with wasn't foolish and had made certain there would be no problems getting me exactly where they wanted me.

And being exactly where they wanted me was my best chance at finding Edwin, so betrayal or no I was heading into the midst of this problem.

I knew there was no going back now that I was captured.

I just prayed my instinct was right and I'd be able to save Edwin.

And whoever had betrayed us for the sake of this evil, whatever it may be..._ Aslan have mercy on their lives, for this time I won't. _

I wasn't proud of the thought, just grim and determined. Solemn.

_A Warrior Queen. _

~X~X~X~X~

The ride was as Caspian, his men and I had thought, only about half a day's ride from Tashbaan and to the small town of Mezreel. But something in our path shifted before long and I suspected we were no longer headed there. No, we were on a distinct path towards the partial ruins of Cair Paravel.

And it was then that I knew I had to create some kind of path for Caspian to find me because there was no guarantee I'd be able to get away. With my hands behind my back I worked the cloak I still wore of Caspian's up enough to reveal the pants and shirt I wore, I started pulling at the hem and ripping it a little.

It was not an easy job and I couldn't tear too much because it would make too loud a ripping sound. But as I tore pieces I either dropped them or managed to nudge my horse over far enough to let the piece of fabric catch in the branches of a passing tree or bush. And this was not easy for if I wasn't careful the braches crackling too much would make my guard look back. I also felt wary of others watching even though I could not see anyone.

~X~X~

I grimaced as I tore the last bit of fabric I could reach with my hands bound as they were. We'd been traveling for well over a day and I recognized the land here well for I knew we were nearing Cair Paravel.

It was a clever idea I supposed. Using the one place that we'd not suspect. It was such an obvious option but no one had thought of it because...well...it was Cair Paravel. A castle built for Kings and Queens of Narnia not...whatever they were.

I could not help but think of what might be happening back in Tashbaan. Caspian's response would not have been good, I knew.

But back to the obvious problem...I was out of cloth and I had to continue a trail. As I went over my appearance in my head I scowled at the man's in front of me, back. _Who are you? _One of the many men in Caspian's service I felt certain. But out of that many men it was impossible to guess who it might be.

Finally I came to a stop on the one thing I had left that I might be able to reach without bringing attention to myself. It was also the one thing that I didn't want to lose.

The necklace Caspian had given me.

It was hidden mostly by the collar of my shirt but I could still feel the light weight of the pendant. _Can I even get it off? _I rolled my shoulders up and back, dropping my head and working carefully to catch the chain between my lips, pulling on it until I could feel the clasp. Minutes passed and my neck ached from the position I held, still I struggled with the clasp until I felt it give a little and then I gave a quick jerk, letting the necklace slide down as far as my waist and then carefully working it to my stretching fingers.

I held it for a moment. A moment too long.

The man came to a stop and swung from his horse's back with an ease I wouldn't have after riding for an entire day bound.

He came walking over to me and pulled me not at all gently from the horse's back and didn't bother to catch me as my legs protested having not been used an entire day and dropped me to my knees.

He ignored me and turned his back to me, rifling through a saddle bag on his horse's saddle. When he turned back he held food and my stomach reacted to that sight, growling with hunger.

The bread he held and crammed into his mouth dripped with some kind of dark juice.

Even through my tired and hungry head, my mind still registered an idea. As the man still ignored me I focused on my shirt and tearing it once more even though it bared a bit of my back. The cloak would cover my skin though.

I still held the necklace in my palm and kept both under the cloak so the man could not see them. Now, came the hard part of this plan.

"Oh!" I exclaimed and it didn't sound nearly as fake as I'd thought it would. He didn't acknowledge me the first time so I repeated the word. "Oh!" I hunched over forward as the man came over to me and pulled my head up sharply.

"What is it Queeny? Can't take the ride?" He laughed and bits of bread shot from his mouth, making me wrinkle my nose in disgust but I still had to continue my role.

"Please..." I gasped a little as if starving and feeling faint from no food. "I c- can't go on w- w- w-without food." As he still had hold of my hair I let my head and body loosen and fall back.

There was panic in his voice when he said. "No, you can't faint! I'll get the blame for-" The rest of his words were muffled as he hurriedly found a bit of bread and the thick looking juice and came back to shove a chunk in my mouth as I lay back seemingly faint.

"Wake up girl, this'll not be coming outta my hide!" He shook me hard and I opened my eyes slowly, chewing the piece in my mouth and swallowing hard, my mouth dry.

"Water, please." I ordered.

He refused to unbind my hands so he shoved the food into my mouth to my disgust but I had to chew and swallow every bite. When he gave me a mouthful of the juice and bread I chewed and fake swallowed, shaking my head as he offered me the rest.

I had what I wanted.

As he turned to step at the edge of the woods to relieve himself I twisted, doubly disgusted with my head looking over my shoulder and spat the juice into my hand as best I could. Using the juice to trace a letter on the stark white cloth.

C.

That was the first letter and the second a rough looking...

P.

_Cair Paravel. _

Gently I twisted the cloth around a bit of the necklace's chain, clasping it back closed and then clutching my last piece of a clue to where we were heading to my back as the man came and tossed me back on the horse.

I waited a bit until we came into an open enough area that if I could get the chain to catch on a branch the sun glinting off the jewel would be enough to attract someone's attention if they were looking.

Or I hoped so.

And if Caspian could find it and see the letters and understand what they meant...I tried not to think of the odds.

So as we came close enough I gave the chain a little toss and watched as it caught near too perfect in the little tree.

_Aslan please let them find it. _

~X~X~X~

It was with great sorrow that I stared at my former home. I could still see it, a picture in my head as it had once stood in all its glory. A home fit for Kings and Queens throughout the ages. To look at my former home as the man led my horse down towards it confirming that this was indeed where they now stayed was a great sorrow.

To see the workmanship of Caspian and his men rebuilding the castle ruined as makeshift walls had come up in the past weeks. Strong enough to hold for a little while but not terribly steady.

Preparation for a fight.

I gazed upon this as we rode down the very hill I'd run from a band of ruffians weeks before. From that hill I looked up at a half-finished tower. Someone stood at the edge, though there was no wall to keep them from falling.

As I watched the person, too far to define anything about them, they seemed to be watching as we came down the hill and when we reached the bottom the person turned away and disappeared, seemingly satisfied with what they saw.

It wasn't likely that the man who'd captured me would answer but I asked anyway. "Who is that?"

He didn't look up but said with a deep reverence that made me grimace with distaste and disgust. "It is her. She's finally returned."

_She's finally returned? The White Witch? _I put these questions into words. "The White Witch?"

The man looked at me with an eerie, strange grin. Chuckling deeply, he did not answer.

"Is it her?" I snapped out, losing a little of the hold I had on my temper.

As we came to a gate that hadn't been there when I'd arrived in Narnia this time he dismounted, pulling my horse forward. "The White Witch was a weakling of her generation; her blood stained the ground you stand on with her own defeat." He replied, his words a riddle within themselves.

_So it isn't the White Witch? Aslan, I am so confused. _

_~X~X~X~_

As he lead my horse throughout the grounds, creatures ran about in seeming disorder but I knew they each had a purpose as I smelt fires, the metallic odor of weapons being forged.

_This is madness. This is war. _

"You there, lovely!" Someone called and I didn't realize they meant me until a rock glanced off my shoulder.

I jerked back and glared in the direction where it had come from. "Scum." I spat out as a very familiar group of men, of ruffians stood to gather at the side of my horse. One dared reach out and almost grab my ankle. Despite my hands being bound, my leg still worked fine and my irritation got the better of me. My booted foot caught him square in face.

A foul curse touched my ears, making me wince. The man gave an outraged noise and raised a balled fist to hit me. I didn't cringe back as I waited for the blow, just tensed against the pain coming. It never came but a voice was heard saying.

"Stop."

A thousand creatures and people froze in their work and all was silent as we looked to the person who'd spoken. Anyone could see it was a woman, her figure curving voraciously even beneath the crimson and black cloak she wore, hooded and a strip of black across the bottom half of her face so you could see nothing of her face and its features.

She raised a delicate looking pale hand, its nails long. She did not speak but made a sharp gesture to the man who'd first caught me.

"There will be no touching the little Queeny..." He grinned crookedly, his teeth black. "Yet. I'll be taking her up for safe keeping and a bit later we'll have some fun with 'er."

My stomach twisted with the insinuation but I could not look away from the woman as I was trying to figure out who she could be. I had a feeling her eyes were on me as mine were on her.

It almost felt like I could feel anger emanating from her as we watched each other.

_Who are you? _I asked silently.

As a man appeared at her side, her head tilted just so as she spoke to him so quietly only he could hear. I was so intent on her that I didn't even glance his way until I was shoved from the back of my horse and I hit the ground with an, "Oomph!"

As I flipped back over to get my knees back underneath me so I could try and get to my feet I could see the retreating back of the woman. Her companion now caught my attention as he came my way, his boots coming to my line of vision.

He stopped right in front of me and I stared at his boots, a dark pair, ordinary in every way but the person who stood in them was what was unique. My eyes traveled up the white pants he wore and to the crimson waistcoat that was snug at his trim waist.

_Oh my gosh. _

I suppose I shouldn't have been so surprised. But I was. His blonde hair hung loose this day and he looked too impeccable to be here among..._this. _

As our eyes met, it was with a wave of different emotions in mine and his held only one expression and that was mock surprise. It was a clash of ice blue, our eyes both blue and mine matched the coldness in his with ease.

"Lord Marquise."

"Queen Lucy."

To anyone it might have sounded like a polite exchange. To the two of us it was much more. I held nothing back but let the full force of my fury be seen through my eyes.

He moved his hand and let his fingers brush down my cheek, I spat at his hand.

"It's kind of ridiculous how right you are about everything and everyone isn't it?" He murmured for me only.

I ground my teeth together but kept silent, it was better that way.

"You made things quite difficult for us, I admit but now...' His fingers chucked my chin and he laughed softly. "It would seem things have quite worked themselves out."

He stepped back from me. "I'll see you in a bit Lucy." He said before nodding his head at my original captor and another man who stood near. "You know where to take her."

I didn't resist as they took each arm and pulled me to my feet, half dragging, half pulling me into a place I'd once called my home but looked more like a jail to me now. I looked over my shoulder at James as we went and found that he watched me, his blue eyes...confused?

~X~X~X~

I was dragged down a stone hallway, past the throne room and through the room we'd had balls and dances in, once upon a time. I said nothing, they said nothing.

The pause, the silence was like a brief moment of air between now and the battle that was about to begin. I had to do two things and I had to do them as soon as possible. I had to find Edwin for I swore to myself that this would not be in vain. And I had to get out of here and warn Caspian of the coming battle, if he came in with only a hundred or so men I did not fancy the odds regardless of how good they were. However you put it, it would still be a hundred to thousands.

A massacre.

_I have to get out of here now. _If I was to even attempt to get back to Tashbaan I had to leave now and find some help. _A Pegasus would be helpful._

They threw me into a cell made of stone, its steel door swinging back to allow them to toss me in but not before binding my legs as well.

_Something doesn't make sense, _I thought as I lay there. _The witch women spoke of a betrayal so great I'd sooner wish for death than face it. _Of course James' betrayal was a great problem but I had suspected it of him. Was his betrayal the one they spoke of? It didn't seem that probable to me at that moment.

I was also warring with myself inside. _Why is this happening Aslan? _I tried to keep doubt out of my heart and mind but just as I had wanted to doubt Edmund, Thomas and Caspian I now...felt doubt of Aslan.

"No." I snapped and the word echoed aloud, making me jerk in surprise as I said the word aloud. Since when did I ever doubt in Aslan? I refused to do it. _Everything happens for a reason. _I sucked in deeply, a painful stab in my heart for the great Lion.

From then I found myself trying to keep my mind busy and from the doubt, so tempting to give into. I had my back against the cold stone and was searching for something sharp enough to cut at my bonds. I squirmed and shifted until surely my wrists bled from tugging so hard and the ropes so tight they dug into my flesh.

To no avail were my efforts and even more so as a man returned to the door of my cell after who knew how long. "You girl, come here." He called to the back of my cell and then laughed roughly, mockingly.

He came to me and cut the rope at my ankles and then grabbed me by one arm and jerked me up. He ignored my wobbly legs from being tied and shoved me forward out of the cell. I stumbled and fell; if my hands hadn't been tied I could have caught myself. As it was I slammed into the floor, my teeth clashing together as my jaw hit. I tasted blood and knew there would be a nasty bruise.

"What's the matter girl? Can't walk?" He laughed disgustingly before pulling me back up and shoving me up a set of stairs and winding about through the now unknown to me halls of Cair Paravel.

~X~X~

It took only minutes to get there but it seemed a long while. I guessed by the high walls, some still crumbling in places that we were now in one of the outer courtyards.

I gazed up and the sight took my breath, this particular courtyard hadn't changed so much that I didn't recognize it. The walls rose about us and the night sky overhead was a blanket of stars. It was a beautiful sight, one I had always sat under and thanked Aslan and wished for someone to share in its beauty with me.

Its beauty hadn't changed. But Cair Paravel had and I couldn't revel in its beauty. Not then, not as my eyes dropped to scan amongst the disgusting sight of creatures, gruesome and wicked to find the source of a scream.

A scream pierced the already noisy night, making me jump. My guard didn't stop me as I shot forward. I scanned about looking for the person who'd screamed but all I saw were ugly faces reflecting firelight off their terrible grins.

I had been expecting to see Edwin.

What I saw was someone I'd not thought I'd see in Narnia ever again. His handsome, kingly face was splattered with his own blood. His body stood strong against blows as they rained down upon him but I knew he was weak, his clothes, once clean and trim but now ripped and bloody.

I trembled openly. _Oh Aslan, no. _A shallow breath came from my parted lips.

"Peter?" Though many voices and sounds screeched at him his head rose defiantly as if he actually heard, and maybe he did for his eyes, dark with pain, landed on me.

I pushed forward, past the demonic creatures that taunted him.

"Lucy." His arms unbound caught me. "Lu, why are you here? What's happening?" My brother's eyes, so confused and uncertain was something new to me and it broke a little piece of my heart to see it. Tears almost fell from my eyes but a blow caught me harshly in the chest and I hit the ground flat of my back.

I was dragged backwards on my back, pulled to my knees and made to face my brother who was made to stand on a stone. Shrieks and screeches came as one as the torture began. They were cheering themselves on.

I watched disbelievingly. With the same feeling I'd had as I'd watched Aslan's sacrifice. I turned my head as one of the first fists truly landed, catching Peter in the jaw. Blood came from his swollen lip and I couldn't watch.

But I was made to watch as a grim, slimy hand touched my chin and pulled it back around, forcing me to gaze upon my brother as fist upon fist hit him. His face. His body.

_Aslan. Aslan. Dear Aslan. Help him. Help him. _Tears leaked from my eyes. _Spare his life, please. _

My brother fell to the ground, to his knees. His chin still raised, his head high as they tried to beat him down. He was a man. He had pride. He was strong. He was a King of Narnia.

From his knees he fell forward and I watched as my brother looked to me with one last look and collapsed.

My chest rose with sobs, though no tears came. I bowed my head, my hair falling forward to cover my face. _Is h- he de- _I didn't, I couldn't finish the thought.

Creatures danced and laughed at Peter's body and at me.

Then all became silent. I raised my head to see the woman standing, towering over Peter's still body. Her crimson and black cloak fluttering in a breeze around her body. Her hand flicked in and out of her cloak within a second and she held a knife.

I felt like I was in a daze, like I was watching my dream unfold before me except Caspian wasn't the one with the knife edging towards his throat. She let it touch his skin and paused, her head tilting at me so I knew she waited for my response.

I got to my feet carefully and walked forward.

"Why is it you choose this man exactly? What has he to do with anything?" My voice was calm which was amazing to me since my heart pounded with fear.

Her voice was low, like she was hiding something from me. "It makes you suffer as he does." It was an answer of sorts and it coincided with what the witch women had said. That the one's I loved would suffer.

Her long, pale fingers twitched on the knife's hilt as she carefully slid it across the delicate skin at his throat but she did not draw blood. I could feel bile at the back of my throat as she did this and I moved at her before I could stop myself.

She sensed the movement and the knife was pointed at me and thrown arrow straight at my already injured shoulder. I hardly felt the stinging pain as the knife, _my knife, _I saw, as it just glanced off my shoulder. Its original intent having been to bury itself into my shoulder had I not dodged to the side.

But that was her mistake, I jumped at the knife she'd thrown and caught in a swinging motion with my hands behind my back. My rope was cut in mere seconds, seconds long enough for me to turn and see her having Peter by his hair, holding his head up and tilting it backwards as the twin of the knife in my hand was held at his neck.

I shook my head at her. "Why? What is the point?" I held my hands out openly. "Is it me you want to kill?"

She kept her head looking down at Peter's closed eyes. "Do not try me." She warned in a hiss that was hardly audible.

I gazed at Peter. Did he still breathe? My brother...I dropped my knife freely and held my hands out. "I give my life freely if he lives and is set free."

At my words she released his hair and he slumped back to the ground as she walked over to me, stopping just in front of me. She stood taller than me but I raised my chin as defiantly, if not more than Peter had.

She looked down at from beneath her hood and though I couldn't see her face I could feel the disgust in the look. Her hand caught me in the face before I could blink and my head jerked to the side with the strength of the hit.

I held my ground before her. My head still raised as my face stung.

She stared down at me with nothing less than hate though her expression was covered. "You are weak for offering your life in place of another's." She spat in my face and the knife was at my throat instead.

I swallowed but didn't flinch back. I gazed at her. _Aslan. _

From her lips came a growling sound and she shoved me as hard as she could backwards and I stumbled before hitting the ground.

"You have your life for today. But only until the others have died before you." Her words were a promise, if not a disturbing one.

Her cloak swished about her ankles as she swung around and strode away from me and left the courtyard. Her form decidedly familiar as she walked off. It was the woman from my dreams and I frowned as I watched her retreating back. I'd seen her face in my dreams but just as I'd woken days ago and couldn't quite figure out who she was, I still couldn't.

As soon as she was gone I was up and across the stone walkway to where my brother lay. "Peter." I whispered. My hand touched his cheek tenderly. Trembling I leaned over him on my knees and put my ear to his chest. _Aslan please. Please. _I begged silently.

I bit my lip as I heard nothing and I leaned closer, pressing my ear fully to his chest. I had never been so glad to hear someone's heartbeat before. He was just unconscious.

"Lucy."

I turned slowly, fists clenched as I saw James standing just behind me.

"You -." I wasn't proud of calling him what I did but I didn't stop the word from coming. "How dare you come back?" I raised my fist as if to strike him and he did nothing to stop me as the back of my hand left its print on his cheek.

James' eyes looked angry but only for a second before he said. "I deserve that."

I stopped short of hitting him again as he said this. "What?"

James' looked over his shoulder as a few men appeared back in the courtyard. His ice cold eyes were indecisive as he froze but then he grabbed my wrist. "I know you do not trust me but play along if you wish to escape."

"James wha-" Immediately his hand covered my lips to stop my words and he pulled my arm behind my back.

"Shut up wench." He barked out and I raised my eyebrows at him.

_Well you're not getting away with that one. _I bit down on the flesh of the hand that covered my lips and he removed it abruptly.

To the men he said. "She's a bit of a fighter, this one." and to me he hissed. "You don't have to actually harm me."

I glared up at him. "What did you just say? You deserved it."

He twisted my other behind me. "Just play along." He ordered in my ear.

"Need some 'elp with that un?" One man called out crudely. Loud laughs were heard and other comments followed. When I wanted to halt and strangle one with my bare hands James pushed me forward stiffly and pushed me all the way around to where I knew was the back of Cair Paravel.

"James where are you taking me? I refuse to leave Peter!" I struggled against his hands and after he shoved open a door and pushed me in he said.

"Stay here." And shut the door with a click, letting me know it was locked without actually trying the knob.

"Stupid man." I said to the door. _Please, let Peter be okay. _I couldn't get his unmoving body from my head. As my head cleared a little I peered at the room. It was empty, excepting for a small door on the other side of the room, opposite of the one I'd been shoved unwillingly through.

I crossed and turned the knob. Surprisingly it swung open to reveal a set of stairs heading down. Before I could try and convince myself to go down them the doorknob on the other door turned and I jumped away from the door and shoved it back closed.

When I turned James was coming through the door, he gave me a dry look as he saw I stood by the door.

"I'm glad I didn't take long or you would've escaped." He remarked dryly as he shifted Peter's still body on his shoulder and let him slide to the floor gently.

I gasped at Peter and the fact that James had actually brought him here. I dropped to my knees, glad to see Peter's breath raising his chest. "His wounds need to be dressed and he needs to be-"

"I know." James interrupted. "You'll have to take him with you." He said calmly and I stared at him.

"James, would you like to explain what you're talking about? You're obviously one of _them _so what are you doing?" I snapped out as I touched my brother's forehead gently.

When he did not reply I turned to face him, his face held a strange expression. "I will explain some if you will follow me, we haven't much time for you to leave."

"I'm not leaving Peter." I replied stubbornly and then my original priority came back to me. "Where is Edwin?"

"The child?" James asked.

"No," I said a little caustically. "Do you know another Edwin that was kidnapped from beneath my nose? Where is he?" I demanded a little harshly.

James did not acknowledge my tone but said. "I- I had him sent away."

"Where James? Is he safe?" I questioned.

James sighed heavily. "Follow me and I'll tell you. As I said there isn't much time, but I can assure you he is safe now."

"Why should I trust you? You have given me no reason at all to trust you, quite the opposite actually." I remarked, the sarcasm still evident in my voice.

James came to my side where I knelt beside Peter. "Look at me Queen Lucy." He waited until I did before saying. "I know what I've done is wrong, will you believe me when I say I realize my mistakes now? You showed me that, your behavior and kindness towards everyone." He shook his to himself. "I know sorry isn't enough for what I've done but I'm trying to set some things straight."

I looked at him solemnly, his expression was serious. His cold eyes determined and apologetic.

I studied him for a moment, looking into his blue eyes. Searching for sincerity, the kindness I'd been so certain I'd seen instilled in Thomas' eyes. And I saw it.

It was a risk I knew but what other choice did I have? That was what I asked myself as I looked down upon my brother's body.

"Let's go." I whispered, watching relief grow on his face at my words.

~X~X~X~X~

Down the stairs we went and through a passageway of sorts. Cool stone on either side as James walked ahead of me, Peter carried rather precariously over one shoulder.

"Where is Edwin?" I asked as we walked as quickly as possible.

"In Calormen." He said quietly. "Once it became evident that harm would be done to him I sent him back to Calormen and he's living with my mother and cousin. My mother is taking good care of him." His words were meant to be reassuring but something bothered me.

"You saved Edwin but you couldn't stop my brother from being tortured?" There was an accusation in the statement but I did nothing to hide it.

"I did not know he was here." Was his reply. "You see there is something that she's been working on, something that could get a person from one world to the next and I believe that's what happened. I think that's how he came to be here."

A wrinkle formed in my brow. "How is that possible? How could one create something that would carry you between the worlds? And what was the point? Is it nothing but an attempt at destroying everything dear to me?"

James back was stiff. "Partially, yes."

The passage widened as we walked on and then opened into a small archway, offering a way out.

"Partially? Why go to the trouble of it?" I questioned as the cool night air greeted us and I took a breath of clean air.

James seemed to turn my question over in his mind before answering. "I think perhaps it was she who wanted to travel between the worlds."

I almost came to a stop at that. "Why? And how was this made possible?"

James finally stopped ahead of me. "This is as far as I can go." He clucked his tongue lightly and a horse trotted from the woods near Cair Paravel. "You can ride my mare, Torte. She'll carry the both of you." He lifted Peter up with a grimace at the weight and eased him onto the mare's back. "You need to go."

I stepped to his side and touched the mare's shoulder. "James. Why?"

He didn't look at me. "I don't know her exact reasoning but she's using your things." Before I could ask what he meant he said. "Peter's sword, your sister's dresses, your daggers and Edmund's lantern."

"How did she get Edmund's lantern? Thomas had it last I saw." I pulled myself up onto the mares back as I said this.

He looked up at me, sorrow in his eyes. "It was the night I found him in the woods outside Shamerim's fort."

"And how did you even get into the fort?" I asked, his words a reminder of that night.

James helped me lean Peter against me so he would not fall. "The wall is weak in many places and I got through. I cannot explain it now. You have to go, they'll be coming for you as it is, and the best I can give you is an hour's head start."

I nodded for I knew Peter needed help. I started to nudge the mare but James stopped me first.

"Here." He pulled from his waist a strip of leather and two swords. "I got these back for you."

I took them and as I finished fastening them he caught my hand. "Please forgive me, Your Majesty." He begged me in a whisper.

I bit my lip. _I'll forgive you if my brother lives. _But I did not say this; I simply nodded and said back. "You have my forgiveness, James but it is Aslan's you need to seek."

I said nothing more and he backed away to give the horse room to run.

"You'll not regret it, this I swear, Queen Lucy."

That was the parting words that followed me as Torte, his mare, carried Peter and me into the forest.

~X~X~

The da dump- da dump- da dump of the mare's hooves on forest floor did nothing to soothe my frayed nerves as I imagines creatures and people alike jumping out at me from the shadows of the nighttime wood. Peter still had not stirred and I knew it was near morning.

But as the wood thinned and the morning sun came out screeches and screams could be heard coming, scouring the forest. _Aslan help us. _

I ground my teeth together to keep them from chattering.

"Lu." A hoarse voice said in my ear and I nearly jumped from the horse's back. I shifted and found a pale looking Peter staring at me.

"Peter," It was all I could say. _Thank you. _

"What's happening Lu? How am I here in Narnia?" He asked, sounding confused.

"Peter, we're running from the ones who captured you and me. We have to make back to Caspian and his men and warn them."

Peter's voice was alert as he said. "Once we reach the outer edges of forest we'll have to go on foot. It'll be safer that way."

"But we move faster on horseback." I said gently.

As if deciding our problem for us something flew up from the brush and under the mare's nose. She shied violently and half reared, tossing both of us off her bare back.

A screech came from nearby and I tensed in fear. _How did they get here so fast? _I crawled to where my brother had landed. "Peter, are you alright?"

He groaned a little before turning on to his side. "I hear them."

I had a brief vivid sensation of having been in this same situation before. When this had all began and we'd been running that black, stormy night. I'd been tossed from my horse then and now we both had.

"We have to run. Do you think you can walk?" I said as quietly as I could with fear running icily through my veins.

"Why wouldn't I be able too?" He said and promptly stood but I was looking for it so I could see the slight shake in his legs and the wince in his eyes as he casually brushed a hand across his ribs. He caught my hand and we started off, heading away from the screams and howls of the enemy.

"Where is Caspian exactly?" He asked as we pushed through the brush and in to even thicker forage, wanting for a thick cover. It would make us less susceptible to being found, dragged back to Cair Paravel and tortured. I knew Peter couldn't survive that twice.

"Last I saw him he was in Tashbaan," I paused contemplatively. "But that's been a few days ago and he would've come searching after..." I licked my lips. "After I disappeared."

"How-" My brother started but was cut off as a creature rose from the ground beside us and he dodged my way, pulling me away from harm but my hand came up at the same moment a sword suddenly in my fist.

"Duck!" I ordered Peter and his eyes widened before he did just that as my sword sliced out where his head had been and caught the creatures head, severing a grotesque head from body.

It rolled to the ground at our feet and my stomach turned a little at the sight. Neither of us had time to register anything other than a gust of wind caught the cloak I wore and plastered it to my body, and the screams seemed to pause. It seemed everything came to a stand still for a moment.

That was before at the same instant Peter said. "Look!" And another scream was unleashed from a demon's lips and it was so shrill it made both Peter and I cringe in pain as we tried to shield our ears. My sword fell from my hand as I covered my ears and that is when I saw what Peter had been pointing at. The sword glowed with an iridescent light, pale and gold.

"Oh no." I suddenly dropped my hands from covering my ears and scooped up the sword by its hilt once more. The sword had glowed before only as danger approached. The scream still went on and I couldn't talk over it so I grabbed my brother's arm and pulled him after me.

The rest of this seemed a nightmare as we broke into a run. Our feet no longer trying to be quiet as much as get away. I couldn't, I wouldn't let Peter be captured again. _I won't. _Our hands stayed locked together and perhaps I should have felt as his grip started to loosen. I didn't. And only when he hit the ground, his palm sliding from mine did I slam to a stop and turn back.

"Peter!" I gasped out, air no longer a necessity it felt. My head swam from breathing so hard but I forced myself to calm. "Peter. Get up."

My brother's eyes were dark as he whispered to me. "Go on, Lu. Get out of here, I'll be fine, you can come back for me later." He issued the order for me to leave but I still gazed down at him.

_I can't leave. I won't leave. _"Do you think you could go on if you leaned on me and I helped you?" I demanded, quickly, urgently. Time was running out as I could hear they were already upon us. I jerked as the bushes moved near us and didn't wait for a weak refusal from him. I grasped his arm and shifted a majority of his weight upon my shoulders, shifting to my feet and hefting his body up with me.

I nearly fell back down with the weight but I clenched my jaw, forcing my trembling muscles to hold. _You can do this. You have to do this. Aslan why aren't you helping me? _I tried to ignore my doubt just as I had in the stone cell earlier but it was difficult.

I took a step and then another. I wobbled but simply gripped his arms tighter until I suspected he was unconscious again and his weight pressed down on my body as well as my soul, the doubt equally compressing.

I don't know how far I went, I wasn't even wary of my path as I stumbled with my brother's weight. The night wore on but I supposed it could have been just minutes. I wasn't sure. At a certain point I raised my sagging head to look ahead and thought I saw a flash of light.

I tripped and fell heavily to the dirt, Peter falling beside me. _Aslan. _My body trembled from exhaustion and my chest heaved with air that didn't seem to help my burning lungs. _Aslan. _My chest heaved harder as tears came from my eyes but I was too tired to even sob. The doubt in my heart threatened to overwhelm me as I couldn't seem to move my body.

As I lay, face down I saw in my head a multitude of images. All vivid and bright bringing with them a sweet caress. I saw Caspian, him laughing. I saw my brothers, pushing one another as they entered into a banquet. I saw my parents, Eustace, everyone I held dear. I remembered what I'd sworn to myself in my own heart.

I wasn't going to let them die because of me. I was a Queen. A warrior. I was that girl but I couldn't do this alone and I understood that then.

"Aslan forgive me. I knew not what I'd done." I said, not caring that I lay in the dirt. _Please, forgive me. I should know by now that I should never doubt you. You've never given me any reason to doubt you. Forgive me, please. I know I cannot get Peter back alone. I cannot. But I can with you. _

Gingerly I pressed my palm down into the dirt and got to my knees. I crawled over to Peter, where he lay, a new crimson stain at his back and growing slowly larger. My heart skipped painfully in my chest but I caught his arms hefting him up.

I cannot say that it was easy but it did happen and I know I did not do it alone. My arms shifted to tighten at Peter's waist, pulling him up and closer. I could feel his heart still pound in his chest and that made me breathe slightly easier.

I tried not to focus solely on his weight for I felt if I did I would trip. But if I did fall or stumble I knew someone would catch me. I didn't doubt that.

However long passed I wasn't sure. But I froze solidly in my path as I heard something ahead of me. A murmur of voices. I shivered with fear and moved to the side, trying to move farther into the thick forest to hide our presence.

Fear made me tremble and I clenched my teeth together to keep them from chattering as they wanted. My gaze jerked down as I saw a flash of light. _Oh no. _My swords glowed and I shifted to try and hide the light. _Why now? _

As if in response the voices silenced and there was quiet before someone said. "Show yourself and perhaps we'll spare your life." A man's deep voice said and I cringed back further but it seemed as far away as I went the brighter they shone.

Brush crackled as men started coming through towards me and I jumped in a second, my feet fleeing with Peter's weight as lithely as if I hadn't been holding him.

This is the point of where as I ran I glanced back to see my pursuers and did not see the one that stood before me, a dark barrier in the dawn of another morn. Well, I didn't see him until I slammed bodily into him and went flying to the ground for what felt the hundredth time that night.

"Ooph!" What little breath I still had left me as I hit the ground with Peter's body on top of me.

I struggled against the weight until it was suddenly lifter free and a pair of dark brown eyes gazed down at with a look nothing less of relief. His accent thick as he said. "Lucy."

Before I could speak he lifted me in his arms. "Peter." I managed to murmur as I was lifted atop a horse.

"It's okay Lu, you're both safe. Rest." Lips touched my forehead as he said this. And his words I didn't doubt. I trusted him. He would keep me safe. My body loosened and I went limp in the safe arms of the dark eyed king.

~X~X~X~

I woke with a jerk, sitting straight up. My eyes darted about me and pausing when I realized I was sitting in a tent. On a makeshift bed.

Then my eyes landed on a sight more welcome than anything. The young king's back was turned, but as I made to move my shoulder protested and I squeaked in pain causing him to turn.

He was at my side in an instant, kneeling. "Lucy, you're awake." His face was a mask as he reached out to touch my shoulder softly. "Be careful of your shoulder, it was-"

I nodded, cutting him off. "A knife, one of my daggers." Everything started flooding back with a vengeance and I remembered the urgency of which it was. We were at war or would very soon be.

I pushed to a fully upright sitting position, mind spinning with the things I knew and the things I didn't.

"Caspian." I looked up at him, just now seeing the very little space that separated our faces. Just now noticing the expression in his eyes of fear, fear for me. I temporarily forgot what I was going to say as he pressed his lips to mine.

"Caspian," I whispered again as he pulled away, the chaste kiss sending my senses reeling. He met my eyes and I saw his fear, worry and other things I wasn't sure of.

"I thought I'd lost you." I gasped as his lips caught my own once more, his words making my heart skip. He moved his lips softly against mine, softly, slowly for a brief moment. But it felt as if I could hear his very thoughts with that kiss, every worry, every apology, every thought.

I kissed him back, letting my fingers twist with his as my other one touched his rough cheek. In the back of my mind something warned me of giving in to his kiss, his dangerous kiss.

I ignored it, forgot about it as his kiss became more urgent. But no, urgent wasn't quite the word. No, his kiss was tinged with the desperation he'd felt the past days. Our fear and worry mingled as that kiss pulled us together. Pulling his fingers from mine he moved to frame my face with both his hands, letting the kiss last until he moved and the breath he took was shallow and ragged. Still he let his lips brush lightly over my skin, kissing sweetly.

"I'm sorry." He said, his lips burning against my cheek as he said it.

"For what?" I replied, touching his chin and pulling his head back down, his mouth back to mine before he could reply.

"I'm sorry for the other night; I shouldn't have stood between you and Thomas. If you care for him...I won't keep you from what will make you happy."

Our noses brushed as I asked. "What does that mean?"

He watched me with dark eyes, fire in them as he hissed. "If you love him I-"

I closed my eyes against the words and he stopped, I bit my bottom lip. "Caspian, he is my friend. I don't love him as you think."

He nodded at my words, but I could see he wanted to ask more.

"Speak your mind Caspian." I said, though it was getting rather hard to ignore his closeness.

His fingers played alongside of my jaw, tracing to my hairline. "If I spoke my mind you'd probably think me a fool." At his words I nearly protested, his kiss stopped me.

And the flap of the tent being pulled back made me almost pull back in surprise, but Caspian kept me close, making for certain his kiss made my head spin as wildly as it possibly could. I turned my head from whoever stood nearby, my face blushing.

I looked sideways at Caspian but his face was serious as he faced...

"Thomas." Caspian said and I wrinkled my nose. _Why do you have to show up at the worst times, my friend? _

I knew I couldn't look away forever, Thomas deserved that at least. When I did, there was nothing but relief on his face when our eyes met. "Lucy." He stepped towards me and leaned down to give me a hug. "I'm sorry about...everything that happened."

I hugged him back warmly, very aware of a stiff Caspian watching the two of us. "I cannot fault you for caring Thomas; I don't regret that we met and that we've become friends. All is forgiven between us."

"Thank you." He whispered and pulled away. I glanced at Caspian, but my gaze shot back to Thomas as he said. "I'm afraid I bring ill news to you though," There was grief about him and I stiffened with fear.

Caspian's hand slipped into mine comfortingly, tightening on my fingers pulling me closer to his side.

Thomas did not meet my eyes as he said. "His Majesty isn't well. They think perhaps he has a day or so left."

"Where is my brother?" It sounded strange from my lips, my voice low.

"Lucy." Both Thomas and Caspian said but I jerked my head at them. "Where is he?"

"The tent across from here. But I don't think its-" The rest of Thomas' words were lost as I pulled my hand from Caspian and exited the tent, the aches in my own body and shoulder not at all evident in my mind.

I came to a breathless stop at the tents opening, grasping the cloth and pulling it open. I slipped in despite hearing Thomas and Caspian both call for me to stop. The sight that met me was not as bad as I'd imagined.

Peter lay still and pale, a long cut down one cheek, stopping just at his hairline. He wore no shirt so I could see his abdomen was bandaged. I stopped beside him and my brow twisted in confusion, puzzled.

_How can he die? He doesn't look...deathly. _

And he didn't, his chest rose with surprisingly easy breaths and his face held the pallor of one sick not death. I touched my brothers cheek with one hand, it was cool, no fever.

I sensed someone come in behind me and Caspian's arm slipped around my waist softly. "How is he near death?" I asked for I truly didn't understand. "He only looks injured."

Caspian tilted his head out of the tent. "Will you walk with me?" I let him take my hand and lead me back outside. He didn't speak until we were a little ways from the camp and from his men.

We walked beside a spring until he finally came to a stop. "He's been poisoned. My men are doing everything they can but he needs to be taken back to Calormen or Tashbaan where he can rest and more can help him. If we-" Caspian stopped himself to spare me the thought but I finished it for him.

"If I still had my cordial he would be fine." I whispered, looking darkly out at the stream.

"He may still be fine, Lu, Aslan will help him." Caspian kept his arm about me for comfort and I welcomed it but grief clouded my eyes.

_He can't die. _"He won't die." I looked back up at Caspian, my eyes deadly serious. "He'll be fine." And though it could have just been me refusing to face the truth of it I felt in my heart that my brother would be fine. No matter how badly poisoned he was. And if I had to travel to the outer edges of Archenland or to the end of the world I would go. My brother would live.

Whatever Caspian saw in my eyes, he looked back at me with respect. I told him everything of what had happened and of the coming battle.

_This time we'll be going together. _We were fighting together this time. This time tomorrow we would be at war. Neither one of us spoke but we stood together, in each other's presence. An unspoken understanding between us. His promise to tell me what he really felt for me burning in my mind.

I rose to my tiptoes, placing a kiss on his jaw. His full lips stretched into a grin that was contagious and I smiled up at him despite everything else.

It lasted precious moments before we both became serious again and he looked down at me, dark brown and blue eyes meeting and we both knew what the other was thinking.

"Tomorrow we fight."

**OMG...how was it? Tell me, please! :)**


	18. Hell is What It Looked Like

**Howdy fanfiction people. This chapter took FOREVER. Yes, it is shorter than the previous two, but I mean, come on...lol **

**Anyway. This chapter was such a long time bc I had to take a break from it briefly. I was about to drown Caspian in the sea near Cair Pairavel. (No, not really. ;)) I was just suffering from a moment of no inspiration. But here it is and there is already another chapter written. I've even started on a third one...so maybe I can hurry it along. **

**We're also getting dangerously close to the end here. The end. That's crazy, isn't it? **

**But I know some of you have been waiting a LONG time on this chapter so READ ON! **

**:D **

_**Chapter 18- Hell is What It Looked Like**_

That night before the coming battle was a wonderful one. Yes, wonderful. Or it would have been if the circumstances had been differently but it still felt nice.

It happened that after I'd checked on Peter for the hundredth time that night I left his tent for a breath of the cool night air and I found myself wandering to the very same place Caspian and I had stood earlier in the day, determined that this was about to end. One way or another.

What I did not quite expect was to find _him _there.

"Caspian?" I asked quietly, afraid of making too loud a noise on such a silent night and attracting unwanted attention.

The person just a few feet in front of me had been stretched out comfortably, resting his body in the curving trunk of an old tree but as I said his name he stretched suddenly and sat up straight.

"Will you come sit with me Lucy?" His husky voice made the question a dare even when it wasn't supposed to be. I suppose it could have been just me, however, and the constant memory of his full lips upon mine in a not unwanted embrace. At least not for me.

I ventured ahead and took the hand he offered me. I stumbled as a large root I had not seen previously, appeared in the way of my feet.

"Be care-" Caspian started and I fell ungracefully atop of him. "ful." He finished as he helped me to sit beside him. One thing he didn't do was take his arm from around me but rested it lightly about me as I settled comfortably back against the trunk of the tree.

"Shouldn't you be asleep?" I wondered, questioningly. There was no certainty of tomorrow's events and we both should have been asleep so as to be fully alert for the coming day.

"As should you." Was his dry reply and then seriously. "Sleep doesn't seem to be my friend this night."

I shifted, turning my head his way but as hard as I peered through the darkness I could not see or define his expression. "I doubt it's anybody's." I commented, my voice sounding weary to my own ears.

I could feel his gaze, even in the darkness. "How are you Lu?"

There was an edge in his voice that made me frown slightly. "I'm..." My frown deepened as I realized that was a more complicated question than it should have been. "I'm _okay._" I finally answered.

"How is your arm?" He asked. The concern never far from his voice.

I glanced from his shadowy figure to the black night sky. "I've scarcely thought about it." I admitted, for I truly hadn't. Since the night of my kidnapping, Peter's being dragged back into Narnia and now poisoned...I'd honestly not had time to think of my arm, though an ache jarred though it as Caspian spoke.

"I would tell you to try and not worry so much about your brother, but I know you do only because you care for him. And that I cannot fault." Caspian's voice was softer now, sounding more...calm, I suppose.

I thought of Peter, lying deathly still in his tent and my heart ached more than my arm. _Aslan heal him. _I did not cry, however, as tears seemed distant and not a weakness I could afford right then.

"Do you believe he'll be alright?" I turned over on my side to face Caspian's dark shape and waited for his response.

I could sense his movements as he turned towards me as well and I could now make out the line of his face, his dark hair loose and ruffled. "Lu," He tightened his arm about me a little and I did not resist but adjusted my shoulder against the tree's trunk so I could rest my head on the edge of his shoulder. "I want to tell you he will, with all my heart I want that," I felt his gentle lips press against the top of my head as he said. "But you know that I don't, that I can't give you hope falsely when I truly do not know."

I tilted my head back and felt him raise his head a bit so I could almost look into his eyes, I just kept my eyes still on the line of his neck between his jaw and broad shoulder as I felt a nervousness come back into my heart as it always did whenever I was close to him.

"I would not ask for anything but the truth from you Caspian."

"Tell me something Lucy." He said back so softly that it his breath on my face was like the gentlest of caresses.

"Anything." I managed and then asked myself. _Did I mean that? Perhaps I don't mean it like that? _I questioned inwardly but then realized something. I did mean it and would tell him anything and everything if I could. Why did it feel like I could give my heart so readily to a man I wasn't even sure wanted it?

"I don't doubt your word." Caspian reached and his fingers touched my jaw. "But there's something you haven't told me isn't there?"

I closed my eyes and reveled in the chills that danced upon my skin from his touch before his question sank in. There _was_ something I'd left out. And that something was none other than James. "Would you believe me if I told you?" The question came without warning, freely from my tongue. His closeness, everything that had happened and the darkness of a night before a coming storm made it feel impossible to lie or even try to avoid answering him.

His fingers froze on my cheek. "I always believe you."

I grimaced a little but whispered the words, "Not always." anyway. Thomas was the first thing to come to mind, though Caspian had come around eventually.

He let his hand slide to cup my chin and tilt my head at an angle to look in his dark eyes but I still kept my blue gaze anywhere but in his eyes. "Do you know how much I wanted to believe you? I'm sorry, that night, after everything," Caspian shook his head and let his hand drop. "It seemed the right answer."

"And now?" I asked softly.

"I believe him innocent, as I told you." Caspian replied firmly. "You know who it was truly, don't you?" He paused a moment and then said, his voice hard. "I promise you that I will believe you, whatever you say. Whoever it may be." He swore to me firmly in the night and I believed him.

"I believe him to be the one who helped...that night." I started. "But he's a part of this danger in Narnia now. I know that for certain." I hesitated here for as much trouble, pain and strife James had caused...he had still helped Peter and me escape and asked me for advice. I couldn't help believing that he could change. That though there was both good and bad in his eyes, I knew the good could win, given the chance. I believed it could.

Caspian waited on me and didn't press me to answer immediately. He must have known the silent fight I was having within myself.

"He helped me escape." I felt I needed to say beforehand. "I don't believe he's fully evil or he wouldn't have helped me or Peter."

"Who is it Lu?" Caspian finally asked.

"You know don't you?" Something had shifted in Caspian's tone that told me he suspected. It didn't make my answer any easier to voice.

"I have a suspicion you've been trying to point him out to me this whole time." He muttered darkly.

I bit down on the inside of my lip before forcing the word out. "James."

There was no questioning me as Caspian asked. "How is it you believe him to be innocent?"

"I saw him, Caspian. He isn't completely bad." I bit down hard on my lip again and thought of a second when his icy blue eyes had met mine and all I could see was sorrow for what had happened, for what he'd done. "I can't tell you anything more truthfully. I believe, given the chance, I hope he'd make the right choice."

"And do you have an answer of how he came to enter the gates of Shamerim's hideout?" He inquired.

My shoulders raised in a light shrug. "All I can guess is the magic has worn thin over time. James spoke of something of the sort but we hadn't much time to speak." A memory of James briefly seeming to struggle as he entered Shamerim's gate came to mind. "When he entered he seemed to struggle a bit so perhaps it's not all gone." I guessed and then jerked my head back to him.

What if he no longer believed Thomas innocent if he could step through with the magic nearly gone?

As if from my stiffening movements Caspian could guess what I was thinking he answered my unspoken question. "I believe Thomas' innocence because _you _believe it, not because of weak magic. Even if it took me a while to see." He admitted to me.

I felt surprised at the statement, it brought a rather vivid sensation of an instant when he'd pressed his lips to mine in the Library and promised he would do anything I asked.

"Thank you." Was all I could think to say and the conversation dropped easily. No barrier between us because of it.

I settled back comfortably once more and felt Caspian do the same, a quiet falling over us for a moment as we both got lost in our own thoughts, though mine were mostly of him at that instant.

Suddenly it was as if the silence became too much for Caspian and he sat up abruptly, pulling me with him. "Lucy, I don't- I can't-" He sighed in frustration. "I want you to know-" He stopped again, leaving me rather wide eyed at the outburst. "Why is it I can't speak plainly around you anymore?" He snapped, he didn't sound angry at me but at his self. Or maybe it was a bit of both.

"I'm-" I halted, knowing the feeling he felt a little too strongly. He made me that way quite frequently, but it was a surprise he felt the same way towards me. "Speak your mind Caspian." _Whatever it may be._ I finally said to; perhaps, ease some of the tension that had risen between us again.

I could just see him raise a hand to hand to rub over his rough face as he tried to make up his mind on whatever it was he wished to say.

"And what if you thought less of me because of what I might say?"

I pulled back as he said this and I couldn't help it as my heart went from its slow beat to one of a galloping horse. _What do you mean? How could I ever think less of you? _"Caspian, I don't think I could ever think less of you. I-"

I knew he was watching me and I wondered what he thought of my declaration. This was the closest I'd ever come to admitting that I cared for him. More than just a brotherly person or friend.

"Go on." He murmured.

"You should know by now that I admire you too much for that." I said and it felt as if some of the feelings I held inside for him were released a little. A very little. But it was a start.

"Even after-" He paused, but I knew what he meant to say.

"Everything." I finished for him. "I won't say that I wasn't angry with...a lot of things but I do forgive you as much as I would hope you would me for the things I've done."

As his knuckles drifted down my cheek he said. "You've never anything to be sorry for Lu; you're more perfect than you know."

I closed my eyes and sucked in a breath at this statement that affected me more than he knew.

"Did Thomas speak the truth?"

I startled, my eyes flying open. "What do you mean?"

"You...saw everything that day. He said that you-"

"Yes." I cut him off. "I would forgive you. It seems to me that if Aslan's love for my brother, even after he'd betrayed us, was so strong that he chose to take his place and die a death that wasn't meant for him then we should have that kind of..." I nearly stopped but whispered. "_Love_ for each other as well as forgiveness."

"You never stopped being a Queen; you know that, don't you?" Caspian replied softly. "Even when you were in your world your spirit never wavered."

"I think it wavered more than I like to admit." I admitted, the words now slipping from my mouth with an ease I didn't want or try to stop. "You've no idea how much I wished to come back after last time."

"Almost as much as _I_ wished you to come back?" Was the young King's reply and one I'd not counted on in the least.

"Did you really wish for us to come back Caspian?" I couldn't keep some incredulity out of my voice. _Or maybe you wished Susan as well? _I didn't say the last bit aloud.

He smiled to himself. "The months after you left, I liked to tell the story of the young Queen who held her own alongside a crew of sailors and swordsman on the Lone Isles and her brother, a noble King, who fought as bravely as any man against a sea serpent larger than the ship itself and his sister who saved his life with but one arrow, impeccably aimed." There was a bit of a teasing edge to his words but his seriousness did not go unheard.

"Did you also tell of the hard headed young king who fought with his men as one? Who had the courage and will to stay and rule the people given to him and make his father proud of the man he's become?" My words started out as teasing, as his had, but turned into something I'd wanted to say to him since I'd seen him stand at the edge of the water, trying to choose between a place more perfect than any one of us could imagine and the crown and people that would become his if he stayed.

"Sometimes I wonder what he would think of me." This was the first time I'd ever heard Caspian as vulnerable as he sounded then. It made me realize just how much he doubted himself at times. That even when he seemed arrogant at times, he truly wasn't.

Impulsively, I leaned towards him to let my hand rest on his jaw and feel the strong line of it as I turned his face towards me. "I believe that he would be as proud as any father could possibly be that you were strong enough to make your own choices and be King Caspian X." I felt him lean his head slightly against my touch and nearly lost my train of thought. "It's harder than you think to have faith in yourself and your own choices without being vain."

"I suppose everyone's learned that lesson the hard way." Caspian answered wryly. "And what do _you_ think of me as a King, Lucy?" He teased now but I had a feeling he really wanted to know the answer to that one.

I pulled my hand from his cheek and he let his larger one cover it before I could bring it back to my own lap. "I think you've asked quite enough from me for tonight and that you should let me ask you questions." I said mock sternly and was rewarded with a deep chuckle.

"Very well, Your Majesty. What is it you would ask of me?"

I smiled at his calling me by my title. "Do you really find it hard to speak around me?" It was a bold question but not nearly so as the one I would ask him in a moment.

Caspian tugged me against his side so he could give me a hug. "Only because I know you have a very bold opinion."

_Why did that not sound like it was the full truth? _I didn't linger on it though as another question came to mind and one that had come up before and we'd been interrupted as Caspian had been about to answer.

"Do you ever wish Caspian, that-" I cut myself off. _Am I mad? I can't ask him that. _

"Do I ever wish what?" Caspian questioned, his dark eyes probing me.

For some reason I could feel the breathtaking kiss on my lips again as I remembered this morning, the desperation in Caspian. It was something I'd never witnessed.

"Were you really so worried about me Caspian? These past few-"

This time I was the one interrupted as Caspian halted me. "That's not what you were going to ask me."

I scowled and cursed the fact that he could read me better than most. "It doesn't matter."

"I want to know what you were going to ask." Caspian replied and added. "If it wasn't important to you, you wouldn't have started to ask it."

"Or maybe you just don't want to answer my question." I suggested more to get him away from that one condemning question I wasn't even sure I wanted to know the answer to.

Caspian let the words fall between us before whispering in my ear. "I think you know the answer to that one."

I shivered and it wasn't because of the late night's chilled air. He went on before I could try to formulate a response. "Do as you told me and speak your mind Lucy." My name was taunting on his lips to my ears.

"You never got to answer me that day...do you ever wish that," This was where I halted and I fought with myself over if I should really say it. He waited and finally something seemed to break inside of me. Whatever he chose to take from my question wasn't something I could stop and not telling him would just make me wonder over it for a long time to come, that wouldn't help either one of us. "Do you wish that in my place Susan would have come?" I blurted out.

I could almost imagine what was going through his head right then and I dared not speak again. I simply waited for his response, whatever it may be.

"No."

I exhaled a breath I had no idea I'd been holding. "What?" I was sure I'd heard wrong.

"I would never wish anyone in your place, Lu. Not Susan, not anyone." I closed my eyes tight at words I didn't think I'd ever hear him say and felt tears rising in my eyes like he'd knocked down one more barrier between us.

_Not anyone. _

"Look at me Lucy." I raised my head but I could not stare into his eyes. "Please?" His fingers found their way under my chin again and he gently lifted it up. When I still couldn't meet his eyes, he sighed deeply, asking. "Why do you still doubt yourself aside of others?"

My eyes snapped to his, irritation flooding me. "I don't doubt myself." And that was true. To an extent. I was just having a few difficulties with the _reality _that he may very well like Susan as something more, something that I wished him to feel for me.

"Then what is it?" I watched as his dark eyes studied my face for the answer to his questions. I was also all too aware of how close our faces had become.

"What if I tell you, when you tell me the one thing you'd change about me?" It was a dare, one that took me rather by surprise even as it came out of my own mouth because that meant I would actually have to _tell _him what I felt eventually.

"As you say." He answered and I blinked at the easiness of his tone. _Is it that easy? _I almost winced at the thought of what I would have to tell him.

When I didn't reply he asked. "Will you tell me something else?"

I cast him a half smile. "Well I suppose that would depend on the question."

There was an almost uncomfortable pause as I waited for Caspian's question.

"Would you tell me what your dreams were about?" He asked in a hurry and I frowned a little at the question.

"I told you about the dream the night in Calormen." _Or most of it anyway. _I added to myself.

Caspian's hands wrapped around both of mine. "I know you left part of the dream out, Lu. But if you truly don't want to speak of it then I'm not going to make you talk about it." He tightened his hold on my hands gently. "I want you to know that you can though. I will listen; I won't mock you if that's what you're afraid of."

My heart twisted in my chest. "I know you wouldn't mock me about something like that, Caspian." I whispered, almost so quiet that I couldn't hear my own the question was...did I want to tell him about the dreams? _What does it matter anymore? _

I sighed before starting to explain the one I'd had on our way to Tashbaan. I found it more easy than expected until I came to the part where he was the one the woman had killed in cold blood before my eyes.

I could see it playing out before my eyes even when they were opened and blinked to try and clear the image. "The woman held one of my daggers to _your _throat." I repeated what she'd said slowly and then stopped, glancing at Caspian and nearly startled back at how close his lips were to mine as I turned my head.

"What happened?" He murmured softly, carefully, like he already knew or suspected how the dream had ended.

I dampened my lips nervously. "She..." I forced the rest of the sentence out. "killed you. She wanted me to watch those I cared for die in cold blood. You were the first." Tears appeared in my eyes as that one last picture didn't leave my mind, but lingered on hauntingly. His lifeless eyes staring at me, a mocking voice saying. 'You were too late.' "I was too late." I said aloud.

Caspian's arms slipped around me and I resisted the comforting hug until he pulled me more firmly to him and let one hand ease my head to his chest. "It was just a dream Lucy. Nothing more. You've no need to worry yourself with it."

"But it's not just a dream." I couldn't help but argue. "Those words...their exactly what the witch woman told me would happen." I jerked my head up to stare him in the eyes, tears or not. "Look what happened to Peter because of me." _If he dies I'll not forgive myself. _I realized my right hand had balled into a tight fist on his fingers and loosened them, knowing it had to hurt but he never flinched.

"Lucy." Caspian's tone made me freeze. "You can't blame yourself for any of this. You didn't bring Peter into this. And you didn't-"

I cut him off. "I am the reason for it though." I snapped angrily, biting the words out even when I knew Caspian didn't deserve my ire. "He was harmed because I am the one this woman wants to hurt and kill. _You _will be harmed because of me." _I can't watch you die. _

"I will only be harmed if they get to me Lu." He said solidly, lifting my chin again. "Where is your faith in Aslan? He is with us," He pressed a kiss tenderly to my forehead. "He is always with us. We won't be facing these creatures alone."

"I know." I managed to say and I did know. "I just want Peter to be alright and for this to be over. For all of you to be safe."

"It's going to be over tomorrow if what you've told me is any indication." He said quietly and then added. "It's not too late; you can go back to Calormen. You could be almost a half days ride ahead before anything happens here." It was an offer, a chance to get out of all of this.

"You know I can't do that." I offered a smile that didn't make it to my eyes. "We'll be protecting each other tomorrow. I haven't come this far just to leave. She will be stopped." _At the hand of my own sword if I have anything to do with it. _

"I do know." Caspian replied. "I just don't want anything to happen to you."

"I know." I whispered softly. _And I love you too much for anything to happen to you. _But of course I did not say the last bit. It was odd how the one person I knew and felt the safest with could make me as fearful as I'd be facing an armed Minotaur. I almost preferred the thought of facing the Minotaur than speaking my mind to Caspian that I felt love for him.

_Aslan help us this coming day. Don't let anyone be hurt or worse because of this woman's want for revenge towards me. And for whatever reason Peter's here, please let him live. He's got a life ahead of him, he's- _I bit my lip to hold back a wave of fear at the possibility of my oldest brother dying the coming day. _I can't- Please, Aslan. _I remembered what I'd thought to myself when I'd seen him bruised and beaten inside Cair Paravel. _It was the truth; I'd give my life for him to keep his. _

As my body stiffened beside Caspian he gripped my hand and kept one arm about me comfortingly. Neither of us said anything but we both knew what the other was asking in our hearts.

We both knew Aslan would never abandon us.

And I didn't doubt that. I already had once and I wasn't about to do it again, not after the things I'd seen and felt since that first time I'd wandered into a magical wardrobe years before. Reepicheep came to mind. Now in Aslan's country but his words echoed about me.

_"We have nothing if not belief." _How true those words were if you truly thought about them. When I'd first heard him say it we'd been speaking of Aslan but now I wondered..._Perhaps it goes for more than just one thing. Maybe belief in both Aslan and myself is something I need to have to truly be as close to Aslan as I was before. _It was true that when I'd been younger I'd not doubted myself nearly so much. It wasn't something I'd ever thought about. But my conclusion felt right and I vowed that I would try my best to be the most courageous I could be.

To live up to the time Aslan had told me that if I were any braver I would be a lioness. To be worthy of such words. To not doubt the courage Aslan had given me.

"You're braver than you know." Caspian almost made me jump with surprise for I wasn't even sure how he knew what I'd been thinking. "Rest Lucy, you're safe here." His tone was an order but a gentle one, one of someone who cared.

I shifted back to get comfortable and rested my head on his shoulder. "You should rest as well." I yawned widely and felt him loosen beside me as he relaxed back against the tree.

Neither of us fell asleep right off but I enjoyed the steady rise of his chest from each breath that he took. It was comforting to just feel it beneath my head, a reassurance that whatever the day held, we were both alive and well right in that moment. And we were together, though I wondered if that last one meant more to me than it did to him.

Either way we were together and I savored the moment, letting myself relax. I didn't hold back the smile that turned up the corners of my lips as his larger hand brushed at my hair slowly, keeping wayward strands from my face.

I was only partially aware when his hand stopped and he said almost urgently. "Lu, I- I need to tell you something."

Despite his urgency, his soft strokes over my head had lulled me into a doze. "Hmm?" I mumbled into his shoulder.

A pause and then his lips pressed sweetly against my own but a dream was already coming to me in my sleep when he mumbled against my mouth. "I love you Lucy."

His mouth lingered over mine and the young king chuckled to himself bitter sweetly before whispering. "Sweet dreams Lu."

~X~X~X~X~

I woke with a start. _Where am I? _Everything and every word that had passed between Caspian and me the previous night flooded my mind and I blushed. There was something that was odd though. Something that I couldn't quite remember. _What was it? _

Then it came to me. _A dream! _I exclaimed to myself. I'd had a dream that Caspian had whispered that he loved me. _A very vivid dream. _I thought. I truly almost could have sworn I'd felt his lips press against mine. I shook my head and would have continued my contemplation had Caspian not come dashing through the woods and to my side at that very moment.

"Lucy you're awake." He didn't give me a chance to reply. "My men have sent word that their on the move. They've started marching. An army of beasts, Minotaur's and half bred mongrels."

I stopped him hurriedly with only one question. "How many?"

Caspian ran his hand over his loose hair in exasperation. "They've no way of knowing exactly..."

My stomach twisted with unease. "Caspian? How many are there?"

Caspian shook his head, seeming angry at himself. "Ten thousand at the least. Could be a bit less, could be more."

_Oh my gosh. _I cringed inwardly but stood up right away, hardly taking a moment to stretch out my stiff muscles. "Then we'll send for help."

"And who will get here in time?" Caspian snapped aloud and I knew he was blaming himself. Though not even the King of Narnia could see into the future.

I rolled my eyes to the sky as I thought hard. "Do you have any chain mail for me to wear that's small enough?" I questioned rapidly.

Caspian cast me a hard look. "Lucy, I've only two hundred men. We cannot do battle with so few, it will be-" He stopped himself, jaw hard. "I won't do that again. I'm not letting you lead us into war"

I knew what he meant. When he and Peter had led the Narnian's on an attack of Miraz' castle, innocent Narnian's had been killed, lives had been forever changed that day.

"Caspian." I said not harshly, but demanding his attention. "Find me some chain mail. Let me think. I need only a moment of peace. Aslan will lead us, I know."

Caspian completely halted what he'd been about to say in protest and peered down at me before saying. "Do as you must. But I have to prepare to leave."

His statement was a little hard to my ears and I wondered what had him so irritated this morning. Besides the impending battle. "Caspian." He stopped from leaving, his back stiff with tension. "Do you trust me?"

There was no hesitation. "With my life."

I bit down hard on my tongue but let the words spring forth anyway, regardless of how crazy they may have been. "Then prepare your men for a fight. Have them ready to march towards Cair Paravel." I waited for him to look me steadily in the eyes, waited for him to respond and when he did I only blinked once in surprise.

"You've only a few moments to yourself. And stay here; don't wander any further down the spring." He gave me a firm glance and I nodded my consent.

He turned and left me standing there to think and I leaned against the tree we'd rested before last night. Tumultuous thoughts coinciding with each other as I closed my eyes. I shut them to try and stop the fear, the racing of my frantic heart at the thought of coming battle.

_What can we do? _I searched my mind for an answer to that and turned to Aslan. "What can I do?" I whispered out loud. "We've need of more help if we're to fight this day. I don't know what to do. Guide us, please." A light breeze caressed my cheek, prompting me to open my eyes.

"If we could be of service Your Majesty," Someone cleared their throat to gather my attention and I bounded to my feet before my eyes had even fully opened.

My mouth almost fell ajar at who stood before me, in full chain, ready for a fight, sword at her side.

"Elle?" I gaped in shock.

"Yes, yes child. I got word that you might need a bit of help." She jutted a hip out. "Are we needed or not?"

I gathered my composure quickly. "We? Who are we?"

The older woman smiled and it was a scary thing almost. "Queen Lucy asks you to come forth."

I sucked in a quick breath as animals slipped from all about me as the left their hiding places. I gazed at them, mentally calculating. _Fauns, Minotaur's, Unicorns, Cheetahs, Centaurs and so many more that it would be impossible to name everyone. _

"And of course the Griffins' but they couldn't come this far down because the forest's so thick." Elle added, sounding perfectly in control and comfortable with...this.

I was just shocked to see her standing there, looking like a General ready for battle. I realized she was still speaking and gestured for her to stop.

"Elle?"

She came to an abrupt halt. "Oh, pardon, Queen Lucy. What is it?"

I gazed around at the animals I could see. "Why are you here?" It was the first of a hundred questions that came out of my mouth. "How did you get here?"

The older woman cast an almost weary smile at me. "I am not without my source of news. I got word that you'd been kidnapped and I left then and there. But," She waved it all off with a shrug. "We can talk about those things later, His Majesty was right that you needn't waste any time, they'll be here before noon. Ten thousand strong or so I've heard." She remarked and I shook my head of the pointless questions of Elle and her daughter of whom I wasn't sure was good or evil.

Perhaps it was dangerous, but I trusted Elle. Surely she wasn't the enemy here? I knew it would be a dangerous choice to make if she wasn't, but...I believed her.

"How many have you brought to our aid?"

"Three thousand at the least and more coming." She replied in stride and I grimaced a little. It was definitely better than our original number though.

I nodded. "Very well and, I don't suppose you've heard anything of another four thousand coming from the direction of Archenland?"

Elle frowned thoughtfully. "Not so many but I've heard rumor that there is a small group of soldiers coming this way, scarcely a half days ride perhaps."

I sighed in some relief but didn't voice my thoughts aloud. _Then they're still split up into smaller groups, but not too far behind. _

_"_Excellent. Come, we must hurry now. I've a plan on how to approach them; if we can surprise them we'll have a better chance with our lesser numbers."

Without further response Elle and the leaders of each group of creature followed alongside of us. When we reached the edge of camp, I said. "Wait here, whilst I tell alert the men of this change of plans. Elle you can come with me."

"Of course Your Majesty." Said a large Minotaur in a deep, raw voice that would have struck fear in the hearts of just about anyone. The others answered in a chorus just the same and I smiled in thanks.

Elle and I approached the outside of Caspian's tent where I knew he was probably discussing the problem at hand. I grasped the canvas and pulled it slightly.

"Caspian?" I heard someone move in the tent and gestured for Elle to follow as I ducked under the flap. I waited for my eyes to find Caspian before saying. "We've a change in plans."

Caspian opened his mouth to undoubtedly ask what I meant when I knew he saw Elle behind me and he stood up quickly.

"Elle? Why are-" He halted and looked to me. "What's happened?"

It took me mere moments to catch him and the men that were gathered in his tent up on this turn of events and I added. "The rest of the men are only a half days ride behind if the rumors are to be believed, their still split up."

Caspian who had been silent since his first question nodded with some satisfaction. "Then we fight. We've already been thinking of the approach we'll take and with the extra help we can spread out more. And if we can count on my men being here quick enough I've another solution that will give us the element of surprise as well as attacking head on."

"So have I." I added with a nod. "What's yours Caspian?"

Caspian nodded at me and said. "We can send at least half of our army around Cair by way of the sea. It stays shallow enough to an extent and is dotted with small islands close to shore, easy enough to be hidden and give us the element of surprise from-"

"From the northwestern side of Cair Pairavel." We both finished at the same time and I grimaced. "I thought the very same." For a second Caspian's eyes met mine and though he didn't smile I knew we both felt a little pride. We'd both been thinking the same for once. What a rarity that had been of late.

"That's well and good," Eosu spoke, I saw. "However, then if the rest of the men don't appear in time we'll be short from this side and have less a chance of holding them off in time for the rest to come around."

"They'll be here." I found myself saying. _Why do I keep saying things I don't know for sure? _But I believed it to be so. I did.

The men didn't question me and I peered at them in surprise, waiting for argument of any kind. I heard none. "We've also two more things we can count on."

The men looked at me questioningly; Caspian was the only one who replied.

"Aslan will help us."

I shook my head up and down. "Of course and we have the trees." I smiled, they hadn't stirred of yet, but then, I hadn't asked. I grasped Elle by the arm. "Can you stay here and do as Caspian orders and let the rest know what's happening?"

Elle replied right away. "Of course, but where are you going?" Caspian seconded the question with vigor.

"I've need to wake the trees." I answered. "I'll be near the spring." Without waiting for any reply I turned and started out of the tent, we'd wasted enough time. Midday wasn't far off.

"Lucy." Caspian's voice stopped me as I left the tent and I turned to find he'd followed me. He held something. "Here," He offered me the bundle and I realized it was the armor I'd asked for. "It may be a little big."

"Thank you, Caspian." I held his eyes for once, for I was thanking him, not for just finding me the armor, but for trusting me.

And I had a feeling he understood my meaning as he murmured. "You're welcome Lucy."

~X~X~X~

Just beyond the camp I'd been standing and sitting in turn. I was now perched atop a little hill that overlooked a stretch of land that would most likely be the place the enemy would attack from. From my perch in one of the trees at that moment I could see both the spring I was supposed to still be near and the stretch of land. So if Caspian or anyone came looking for me I'd be able to warn them that I was still safe.

I'd been in the tree only a little while and already my legs twitched with the adrenaline that filled my body before battle. "Are we to start this fight without you my friends?" I whispered to the tree below me and hoped for a response of some kind. There was none to be heard and a little frown found my lips. _Something is wrong. _I peered down the sleek trunk of the tree I'd climbed and noticed something.

Some of the tree's roots were peeking out of the ground around back of it and they were oozing with dark sap. I slipped from my perch immediately and saw that not only were they oozing with sap but they appeared to have been hacked in two.

Gingerly, I touched the tree's open root with a couple of fingers, they came away with the sticky substance and I tilted my head back up to look at the tree, and then once more back at my fingers. Only one thought in my head.

_The blood of a tree. _

I stumbled to my feet and ran to the closest tree to the one I'd hidden in and found it the same. Spinning in a circle I could see all the trees near me seemed to be just alike and my eyes filled with hot tears of anger. _Someone's killed them. _I pressed my hand to my mouth to keep in a scream of disgust. _How could anyone have done this? _But I knew, even as I asked myself that question. _Someone knew I'd seek help from the trees, so they did what they could to destroy what they knew I'd need. _

"Aslan?" I said his name out loud. It was a comfort to hear his name just spoken aloud. I eased to my feet and walked among trees that had been there when my siblings and I had ruled in the Golden Age and the ones that were younger, used to be full of life.

All dead.

All dead because of this woman's want for revenge upon me.

Steel could be seen in my blue eyes as I walked back towards camp. I'd lingered long enough, it was almost noon and I knew we needed to ride out.

And there was something else I knew.

I was ready.

~X~X~X~

When I entered camp, or what was left of it, as it had already been stripped of everything, I found my winged companion, Dannsair waiting for me as well as Caspian on Gestilion. Without a word I swung up on her back and steadied myself.

I wished I had my twin swords or daggers as I touched the hilt of the sword and dagger I'd been offered.

"Lu? What's wrong?'' Caspian questioned and I could hear something like worry in his voice.

I shot him an apologetic glance for having caused any worry but I suppose it came off as more of a grimace. "The trees are dead. Someone hacked their roots and I think poisoned them." I gritted my teeth angrily. "She knew I'd ask for their help."

"Lucy." Caspian's voice held a bit of a snap, making me look at him. He softened his voice when he saw my anger. "It wasn't your fault and we will be fine."

I bit my lip and nodded my agreement. "We've Aslan."

"We must go." Caspian urged and I startled as I realized he'd waited behind for me as the rest had gone ahead. He was their King and I their Queen, we should have been at the head of our people, leading them, but Caspian had waited on me. I almost commented on this but cut myself off.

There wasn't time.

"Ready?" He demanded urgently, he didn't ask but I knew he was giving me one last chance to turn around and leave. To go back to Tashbaan. To safety.

"Ready." I said. The hardness of my tone surprising in my own ears.

~X~X~

Even though both Gestilion and Dannsair were winged horses we rode on the ground. Caspian's strongest man was in charge of the others attacking from the northwestern side. Drinian, he told me and I shook my head, for I hadn't even realized he was among our group. So large had it been when we'd first started out.

We rode past the many creatures and less soldiers that gathered in an orderly fashion across the land. We made a wall of seemingly unbreakable steel. But we were breakable and even though every man, animal, creature knew that, they shew no fear on their faces.

I was proud of them. Caspian had chosen and trained them well. As for the Narnian creatures, I felt pride for them bravery and willingness to help and to come fight alongside us filled me with more courage and reassurance that we wouldn't be fighting a losing battle.

Once we'd reached the head of the great Narnian's, Caspian dismounted Gestilion and said. "Many thanks, my friend, there's need of me on the ground and I'll be riding one of the horses so you can lead your own by air."

Gestilion tossed his proud head. "Will one of your men be riding then, Majesty?"

I slipped to the ground and interrupted hurriedly. "What about Thomas?" Mayhap an insane idea but surely one that would be satisfactory for him since he'd wanted this battle to earn him back some trust from the Narnian's. And there was a small chance that it might be safer in the air than on the ground. Maybe.

"My men know their orders already; if Thomas wishes to ride then I won't object." Caspian replied and I blinked with only a little shock. Perhaps Caspian was coming round to Thomas.

Gestilion pawed at the ground. "Where is this man? I sense my herd is nervous and wish to return to them as soon as possible Your Majesties."

"I am here." Thomas spoke from behind us and I saw him ride ahead on the back of none other than Sparrow. "It would be an honor to ride upon His Majesties back." He jumped from Sparrow's back and with a word to the little horse he strode forward in a hurry to not keep the Prince among winged horses waiting any longer.

I caught his arm as he passed me though, this was no time for emotion but I couldn't keep myself from wrapping my arms around him quickly, giving him a hug.

"Be careful, my friend. I have faith in you."

Thomas' hug in return was brief as he pulled away to speak rapidly for me only. "I thank you, Queen Lucy. I'd not be here if it wasn't for you. I will gain that trust you have in me." He said, his tone hard. "Be careful." He was gone in a second and on Gestilion's back.

I looked at the horse, who watched me. "I'll take care of him." The great animal swore.

"Take care of yourself as well." I ordered sternly, watching as they lifted into the air.

I could feel Caspian's gaze on me and turned to meet it. "What?" I demanded a bit harshly. Was this still about Thomas? Maybe he'd not changed his mind about him.

Caspian's eyes darkened visibly or at least to me, and he ignored my question. "We need to go."

I regretted my harsh tone but there was nothing I could do about it now. I gazed at Sparrow, who was now rider less. "Dannsair?" I said softly.

She exhaled a large breath beside me. "Go one then, he'll need you." She urged me quietly.

I grasped her in a quick hug. "Some of the men behind us are still rider less and-"

"I know, go on." She gave me a hard push at Sparrow and was already in the air before anything more could be said.

I mounted Sparrow's back without a word and nudged him to Caspian's side, which was now upon Destrier's broad black back.

"Will you not ride farther back?" Caspian spoke to me but stared ahead, his helmet's mask still up.

"We will lead our people together this day. The Narnian's are depending on us. I'll ride at the head as I once did, this time," I gave him a smile that didn't quite reach my lips. "alongside you, as their King."

A long, lithe, spotted cat appeared in front of us in an instant. "Someone is coming!"

Destrier paced forward with energy and Caspian called out. "Ready!" I could feel the energy in the air, as thick as the sap of the poisoned trees. The entirety of them stiffened as one, waiting for their King's order.

An order that would unleash them into battle.

Caspian didn't say anything though. He waited and so did I. A single rider and horse could be seen galloping wildly towards us and I cast questioning eyes at Caspian and then back to the lone rider.

A white looking horse it was and realization dawned in my eyes.

"Caspian, its James." I hissed at the young king, everything about him was seemingly relaxed except for his tense jaw. Not for the first time I longed to run my fingers along it and make it loosen, perhaps with a kiss.

Shaking my head of the ridiculous thought at such a time I saw Caspian eye me steadily.

"What could he want?"

_To join the right side? _I shrugged my shoulders. "There are only two things it could be."

We stood ready, waiting for James to reach us. I nudged Sparrow into a lope towards James before Caspian could stop me.

"Lucy!" Caspian snapped but I was already nearing James' side.

Sparrow came to a near stop and so did James' horse. "Why are you here?" I called out to the young man who looked weary, his blonde hair straggled about his shoulders and his cold blue eyes held foreboding. Our horse's circled one another.

"I had to make sure you were alright. Their coming." He pointed backwards, the direction he'd just come from. "Just beyond the hill above the apple orchard. "You must leave now."

I shot him an unsympathetic look. "We're ready for battle now, we cannot turn back."

Caspian was on James' other side by then and I knew he was suppressing anger by the look on his face.

"You don't understand, there are thousands of-" James started to blurt out and Caspian cut him off.

"You don't think we know that?" The king snapped harshly. "Maybe we'd have been more prepared for this battle had you not betrayed us and _helped _the enemy." Caspian sounded disgusted.

Ignoring the second half of Caspian's statement, James addressed the first. "Then why haven't you left? There are too few of you to fight the creatures she's found and their strength is strong from dark magic she uses."

From where we were on horseback, a great cry could be heard. _Chanting, _I jerked in surprise. I could see the first of the enemy peaking at the top of the hill.

"It's too late now," I exclaimed to both Caspian and James. "We fight or die running."

Caspian saw the same as I did and muttered something harsh beneath his breath before ordering me back to the Narnian's. "Go back."

I stayed where I was and waited for him though.

I watched his dark gaze on James and he said roughly. "Choose which side you're on this time, my old friend. If I have to cut you down myself, I will. Make no mistake."

I shivered at the ferocity on Caspian's face and the iciness that came back to James' eyes, until he looked at me. His hands went to his waist and he produced two swords.

Caspian's hand had already moved and was drawing his own sword but I realized that James wasn't trying to harm me. He was giving me back my own blades. The one's Caspian had given me.

I caught them by the hilts easily and passed my borrowed sword and dagger to the cool eyed young man.

The chanting had grown louder and Caspian ordered me back once more. This time I obeyed and watched as James came with us. He fell behind Caspian and me at the very head of the wall of Narnian's.

My stomach twisted with unease. Something suddenly felt very wrong, something was about to change. I could feel it. It made my fingertips twitch with wild energy. My heart was thudding slowly in my chest.

As soon as the enemy reached the bottom of the hill was when it happened.

Caspian's order rang out as strongly as Peter's had and I said a silent prayer for my brother, hidden away and headed away from here, back to Tashbaan for help.

"For Narnia and for Aslan!" He shouted and I found myself screaming it along with him. And everyone else did as well. Our mounts were tense for the longest of seconds, seeming to stand still in a moment as we simultaneously held our breaths...

Like the sound of thunder echoing across the land, a thousand hoof beats hit stride at once and we were galloping towards the enemy. There was no turning back.

I kept my eyes on Sparrow's ears until the last moment and I raised them to view the battle we were running headfirst into. I'd forgotten this feeling from the Golden Age.

It was something like jumping off a cliff and thinking there _might _be water at the bottom but you weren't completely certain.

Closer and closer we came. The chanting was louder and I suddenly opened my mouth, screaming myself. "Aslan! Aslan! Aslan rules forever!"

The men and creatures alike behind us took up this chant, adding their own words until simply the screaming chants of both sides was deafening.

Then we were upon them. Caspian looked back for but a moment and his eyes met mine as I rode by his side. So much was in that look. I raised my sword. I was ready...and then we hit the enemy.

Two brick walls hitting each other is what it felt like.

Hell is what it looked like.

~X~X~

The first few moments of the battle felt as if we were in slow motion and each clash of a sword, ax, knife and every other weapon resounded in my head with a painful clash.

A few of our men fell but I was happy to see more of theirs were falling. Caspian and I fought by each other closely. Sparrow and Destrier keeping stride with one another as each demonic creature fell by our blades.

Blood splattered my hands and face and I grimaced with disgust. I hated this. My eyes zeroed in on a Minotaur raising his bloodied ax, he was hidden behind others and ready to cut Caspian down. I cried out for Sparrow to run ahead and I pulled his head to the left, Destrier stumbled to keep from slamming into us and I raised my sword, blocking the Minotaur's fatal blow.

He fell beside his companion of whom Caspian slayed.

There was no time to think on the near death and so on we went. The battle raged in our hearts as well before our eyes.

It could have been minutes, hours or even days. But I felt the weakening in our numbers. The Narnian's still fought strongly but we were still but a couple thousand against their ten thousand, minus the one's we'd already cut down.

Where were the others? They should have been here by now, coming from behind.

_Aslan help us. Aslan please come. _I pleaded.

Something flashed at the corner of my eye and my head jerked in that direction. A glimmer of something crimson that wasn't blood.

That was all it took, one second of distraction and Caspian's shout of warning. I ducked instinctively but the half wolf, half bear slammed into Sparrow and I went flying from his back, the creature's blade just missing my head.

I flew through the air and mercifully didn't hit anything to cause me injury, landing hard and rolling several feet. Hooves and boots alike tramped around me and I picked myself up despite pain in my bones. I grasped the sword I still held, tighter by its hilt.

I ran. I could no longer see Caspian but that didn't matter I tried to tell myself. But it did. What if something happened as it had earlier? I tried not to let my worry for Caspian blur my vision in battle. That was too dangerous a thing to do.

Sparrow was nowhere to seen and I cursed myself inwardly for having wanted to bring him anywhere with me.

Something occurred to me as hundreds fell around me, blood spattering my arms, face and body. Their leader hadn't been at the head. I'd seen no woman or creature.

_So much of a coward that she won't even show herself at the head of her army of demons._

"Lucy!" Someone called my name amid the chaos and I suddenly found James keeping pace at my side. No words could be said as I needed my breath for air more than speaking. James fell into stride with me and fought at my side.

We fell into a rhythmic pace. Raise sword, slice, cut, and run. Raise sword, cut, slice, and pause to slash enemies at our sides. It was scarily harsh. Violent.

For a second we seemed to have a moment to draw a breath until I realized with wide eyes, there were more coming. They came just as the one's before them had. Just as many. Not weary. Fresh and lusting after the blood of the Narnian's.

"Where are the rest?" I screamed out loud. Why weren't they here yet? "Aslan, please come! We need you! Only you can help us defeat them!" I didn't care who heard my cry and thought me crazy.

James echoed my plea quietly at my side. "Lucy, listen to me!" I realized he'd been calling my name.

"What?" I croaked hoarsely, the screaming had taken its toll on my voice.

"I must warn you. There is something I didn't tell you. I-" James started and hesitated.

"This is no time for hesitation!" I snapped at the young man. "What is it?" I shook his shoulder roughly, waiting for his response.

"It's..._her._" James hissed in a dark whisper.

"Who is _she_?" But my question went unanswered as _she, _herself rode down the hill above us and reached bottom without any problem. She rode a blood bay horse.

_Stained by the blood of others. _The gruesome thought went through my head. Her crimson blood and midnight black cloak caught the wind and was flung out behind her as she came to a stop; it revealed the red dress she wore.

As the battle around me seemed to stand still I walked forward. This was the woman. This wasn't a dream. James cried out for me to stop but I walked on, in a trance it seemed as the woman jumped from her mount and her red lips smiled grotesquely beneath her hood.

I knew she was looking at me as I was her.

"Lucy, don't!" Caspian's voice, thankfully alive came to my ears in warning.

"Yes, stop Lu. Your love is worried about you." Her raspy voice mocked me, the voice sounding put on to my ears. She was hiding her voice from me. Keeping her identity a secret a while longer.

I kept walking until I was scarcely ten feet in front of her. I sensed Caspian directly behind me, the Narnian's braced for this battle as well.

Her creatures and men alike paused by her gesture of a hand.

"Come, Lucy. You have to protect those you love. That's what makes this most interesting to watch." Before I could move, her voice low and tempting, Caspian bounded ahead and so did all the Narnian's.

Caspian raised his sword to fight her. And I ran behind him. She raised a sword herself and I found that I was looking into the face of my dream I'd had days before. One of my daggers in one hand and a sword in the other she was prepared to kill the young king.

"Caspian, no!" I screamed out. I couldn't let this happen. I ran to catch up with the two and my scream made her turn her head for the beat of a heart and I registered Caspian's hand, from the corner of my eye, snapping out and jerking the hood from her head.

The entire cloak slipped silkily from her shoulders, to show her red dress and the scant armor she'd worn over it. Her deep brown, maple leaf colored curls cascaded around her bared, pale shoulders.

Her green brown eyes met, not Caspian's, but mine. Her red lips curled sardonically with humor only she could feel.

My heart ceased beating beneath my breast. "No."

**Okay. How was that? Would you like to tell me by reviewing please? I already have the next chapter written, I just have to proofread it and I'll put it up if this chapter gets some interesting responses. ;) I have a question for anybody who reviews... Who do you think it is? I'm not gonna tell you of course, but I want to see if anybody guesses right. Lol. **

**I can also promise that the next chapter will be up within the next day or so, so you won't be kept waiting too long. **

**Until then my faithful Readers. :D btw here are two tidbits from the next chap, (maybe the next 2 chapters!) There will be more kissing. Twice at least. Hehe. And eventually there are going to be some...problems concerning two stubborn, hot Kings. (Lucy may or may not be the source of that problem...but that's all I can say. Shhh. :D) **


	19. Dead, Gone, Lost and Loved

**Heeey! Long time no see! Here is the next chapter as promised. Also I will go proofread the other idea that I decided to cut and post it later or something. But I took the time to write it so I def think y'all should read it. **

**I want to say thanks for all the great reviews. I passed 200 the other day! :) And I think this chapter will put me at a little over 200,000 words. Is that not unbelievable? It shouldn't be too much longer though and this story will be wrapped up. Sequel anybody? (hahaha I'm gonna need a break before I decide to do anything like that! But oneshots are def not outta the question! There's no telling really...lol)**

**Some songs I used to write this chapter are... Skyscraper-Demi Lovato, Sound the Bugle Now- Bryan Adams, A Thousand Miles- Vanessa Carlton, Price of Love- Bad English, Hands to Heaven-Breathe. **

**^^^Like y'all actually care...lol ;D**

**Carry on my faithful readers! **

_**Chapter 19- Dead, Gone, Lost and Loved**_

The world held still, frozen in my mind for a second as two sisters simply looked at each other.

Blood drained from my cheeks and I sucked in a deep breath of air to clear my surely blurred vision. I wasn't staring at my sister. I couldn't be staring at my sister.

There was no way that this young woman before me was Susan.

But she was.

And she was going to kill Caspian.

_No. She's going to try. _Blood pounded through my veins and I was before her and with strength given only by adrenaline and terror and the scorn of two sisters who had once loved one another, I shoved Caspian out of the way of the slicing blade of my own dagger in Susan's hands. I slapped at her wrist and the dagger went flying just as her other hand cuffed me side of the head.

The battle commenced around us but we were locked in a deadly battle against one another.

She watched me, studiously taking me in, blood-spattered and dirty in pants and an overly large shirt. She would have been absolutely breathtakingly beautiful had her lips not been twisted into a scowl of mockery and her eyes raging with hate.

Caspian was at my side. "Susan?" His tone held disbelief, small wonder.

I fought back the feelings in my chest that threatened to erupt. Pushing past Caspian I walked straight up to my sister until we stood almost chest to chest.

"You've done all of this?" I shook my head. "You've killed innocent men? Poisoned the trees?"

Susan smirked. "It's a pity we hadn't more fun, isn't it?"

Rage surged through my heart as my blade, glowing with white gold light rose above her. "Your own brother is lying near death!" I screamed in her face.

"Oh." She pursed her perfect red lips. "I'd almost forgotten about him."

"Forgotten?" I spat. "I'll tell you what I've forgotten." She blocked the blade of my sword as it came at her. She backed away from me as I walked on at her, pushing her back. "I've forgotten every single moment we ever had together. Every moment we ruled Narnia as sisters, as Queens. When we laughed, cried." I shoved her backwards. "You aren't my sister anymore."

Finally my sister stood rigid before me and looked into my eyes wickedly. "Given time I could change your mind, little Lucy. After all, the same blood runs in my veins as yours." She reached and tugged playfully at my straggling hair. "I could make you beautiful. I could give you all the young men you want. You'd be perfect." She twirled my hair and I let her for a moment.

I studied her; she was a beautiful young woman. But all the beauty in the world couldn't help what she'd become. _She's crazy. _My heart felt hollow with the understanding. She truly wasn't my sister anymore.

James shouted from somewhere near. "No! Lucy she's tempting you."

"No, she's not." I whispered, but pounding steps were heard and James was flying at her before anything could be done. Her (my) blade came up and it pierced James' side, slicing into his soft flesh as he'd had only a little armor on.

"James!" I cried out but ducked as Susan finally came at me swinging manically. Caspian was by my side and suddenly we were fighting back to back again as Susan with a flick of her fingertips in a wave she scurried away, back to safety.

I started to run after her but Caspian's hand kept me from it. I pulled away. "Let me go!" I growled warningly. There was a dangerous edge to my words.

"No." Caspian snapped back. "You cannot fight her as you are now. You're too furious." His hands clamped on my shoulders. "Look at me Lucy."

I did.

"You asked me earlier if I trusted you." His hands moved to hold my face and keep me still in front of him. I nodded. "Do you trust me?"

As I calmed down a little, Caspian's eyes comforting, I answered without hesitation. "Yes. Always. With my life."

"Then trust me when I say you must go back."

"Wha-" Caspian stopped me.

"There is no time. We need help and something is keeping the others. Find a mount and ride as fast as you can south of here a little ways and then go through the woods back towards Cair-"

I shook my head and cut him off. "You don't have to explain it. I know where to go. But I can't leave-"

"If there's any sign of trouble, turn back." Caspian shook my shoulders lightly. "Can you do it?"

"Yes!" The desperation in his face made me agree without further argument.

His hold tightened for a second and his expression wavered as his face came down near mine. His eyes lingered and for a breath I thought his lips would brush against mine, but he released me and pushed me backwards. "Be careful!"

_I don't want to leave you. _But it was too late. My own fellow Narnian's swallowed me as I ran backwards and Caspian was lost amid the chaos of battle.

Finding a mount wasn't easy and when I came across a deep brown body, I winced as if someone had hurt me physically. "Sparrow." But the horse's ears flicked at my voice. He was alive.

I dropped to his side. "Sparrow!" I shook his large shoulder with both hands. "Are you okay?"

The horse's eyes sprang open. "Lucy?" He sounded confused. "I- i think I got hit in the head."

I patted his shoulder in relief when he stood and shook his head vigorously. "Are you well enough to run?"

One toss of his head later, I was on his back and we were galloping wildly across the ground and back into the woods. Time seemed to move slowly as we ran and didn't slow. His stride was almost soothing to my nerves.

A while later and many prayers gone by, I called out.

"This should be far enough." Sparrow skidded to a stop and I sprang from his back. "Rest! I'll just look around."

I had no time to wait for his reply as I ran to the stretch of beach that would be the place the others had been supposed to come from. I slipped as I came onto the wet sand and went skidding into the surf.

I gasped as I steadied myself. I was looking at the very reason why we had no help. A large wall had been built and extended down the beach a ways. Tall enough where there would be no hope of climbing over and far enough that the rock cliff blocked the rest of the way.

Then why hadn't they come back the other way?

I scanned hastily for an answer but saw none. But no, that wasn't quite true. My eyes fell on an answer. The wall was supported solely from this side. If I could somehow destroy the support on this side and cause some of the wall to fall...then I might have an answer.

"Sparrow!" I shouted for the horse and he came trotting. "I need your help." I wasted no time for his questions.

I ran to the base of the wall. Searching for a weak point. My fingers sought to get the rope that held this one brace off that supported this part of the wall. I reached for my sword and with three large swipes I had the rope cut through on this one. There were three more on this same piece of wall.

As I finished, I could feel the wall shake a little. "Sparrow, get on the other side and help me knock the braces from under the wall!"

Suddenly, though, I heard a voice. "Who goes there?" A deep, masculine voice that I recognized somewhere in my battle stricken mind.

Either way I was knocking this wall down. "Now!" I shouted at Sparrow and he kicked at one side whilst I threw my weight against the other. They wobbled slightly and I grimaced from effort. "Again!"

"Queen Lucy?" Drinian, I comprehended, shouted from the other side.

"Drinian!" I exclaimed with a little relief. "Can you shove against that side of the wall when I say to?" I demanded.

"Of-" He started and I cut him off abruptly.

"Then do it!" I screeched. "Now!" Again they wobbled. For a third time I leaned back and then with all the strength I felt I had left, I threw my body at the brace and something gave. Cracking wood and then creaking.

"Move!" I don't know who said it but I rolled to the side just in time as the piece of wall cracked and fell with a whoosh, scarcely a foot beside me, splinters of wood and dirt flying up in my face.

Creatures and men alike poured through that hole in an instant and a centaur picked me up and tossed me on his back before words could even be spoken. Sparrow was mounted by a soldier and we were moving.

I wrapped my arms tightly around the centaur's expansive waist to keep from falling off. He was going too fast for me to even watch the others around us.

But we were making our way around to the others to help.

_And that's all that matter anymore. That we win this battle. _

~X~X~

I was wrong when I'd thought that all my strength was gone.

It wasn't.

Renewed strength returned to my body as I spotted Susan standing atop that cursed hill that overlooked the battle and on the other side, Cair Paravel's apple orchard.

_Where is Caspian? What happened to James?_

As the centaur I was riding slowed, I jumped from his back and he didn't stop me. I hit the ground hard; I scarcely had time to wince in pain as I picked myself up and took off for that hill. My sister had to be stopped. If those around us saw her dead then perhaps they would retreat.

I hit the upward slope without slacking my pace.

My sister was well aware of my approach by the time I reached the top. My chest heaved with my gasping breaths.

"Lucy." Susan's voice was a greeting, one you would have heard her say in a parlor and not on a battle field. Not one you would use if you were planning to kill your own sister. "I wondered where you'd wandered off to. I thought perhaps Caspian sent you off for your protection."

"Shut up Su." I growled, I hadn't drawn my swords yet but held my ground in front of my sister.

"Don't you see Lucy?" Susan said sweetly and she waved her long, finger nailed hand around. "It's too late."

Despite her mocking I found my gaze turning to what she pointed at.

"James is dying." She mocked pleasantly. I cringed inside. "He chose the wrong side as did the old woman." My eyes widened and Susan laughed. "Ah yes, Elle was it? She's being taken care of."

"Susan you have to stop this. Do you not hear yourself?" I didn't beg, I didn't plead. Somehow I knew it wasn't going to work. "Is you heart really so turned by hate?"

Susan continued as I fought tears. "And dear Thomas." She giggled fondly. "He loved you, I believe, but now we'll never know as Gestilion had an arrow pierce his side and they both fell." She put a hand to her lips mock sorrowfully and I felt...I can't even explain what I felt, but she wasn't done yet.

"And then there's Peter. He's, of course, probably already dead by now." She dealt another blow even if she never touched me. "Oh, there's also that golden horse of yours. I'm afraid I'm looking forward to that pretty hide we'll get from her."

My stomach turned and I almost retched but I tried again. "You can stop this. What reason do you have for this madness?"

Her greenish eyes showed almost a bit of regret but it was gone in an instant. "Don't you get it Lu? You were always well liked by all but I was never good enough."

"Never good enough?" I spat out in disbelief. "You were the High Queen of Narnia. These people loved you."

Her eyes burned with hate. "It doesn't matter. I never liked this place anyway. There was but one reason I liked it and then even that was severed from my grasp eventually."

I stared at my sister with disgust. "What reason?"

Eyes shining with flames, she threw her head back and laughed. "He was never good enough for me anyway. It's a pity we couldn't find out how well a match you two would have been." She had one more blow to be dealt at me as she curled her lips distastefully. "Caspian."

The force of those words made me drop to my knees. "No."

She didn't reply and I looked up at her. Fury blazed in me with so much sorrow that I could feel the restraint I'd held on my anger and fear earlier, snap loose but I didn't move.

I bowed my head. "Aslan. I do not doubt you now! Why won't you show yourself?" I pleaded on my knees as weapons flew around me and my sister gazed upon me with disgust.

"Don't you get it? He's not coming. He is nothing but an ignorant Lion that children believe in. Give it up Lu. It's your imagination!"" Susan's words were lost in my ears, deafened by my own words of pleading.

_Ask and it will be given. _

I exhaled a breath as a shiver ran through me. It was almost as if the ground beneath my fingertips trembled. I smiled through my tears. I arched my back as I lurched back to my feet and let the sound of a Lion's roar tear through me and make my ears pound with the sound of mere power and grace.

"That's not possible." Came from my sister's mouth.

I stood on trembling legs and raised my glowing white blade. "Oh, but it is sister." I threw the blade with all my strength and it flew true, ready to pierce my sister's heart.

It never reached her.

The lion had reached us and it was with a flash of gold that the sword disappeared. The great Lion went rolling before landing on his feet gracefully. My sister held beneath one great paw, gently.

"Do you believe now?" I whispered, tears dancing in my eyes and then I turned my head as light blinded me, when I looked again she was gone.

With that one victory against my sister, the rest of my sister's men gave up and most of the creatures disappeared, seemingly made of dust. Much like the ones the White Witch had bestowed upon Narnia in that first battle a long time ago.

"Aslan." I murmured and ran on weary legs to his side, wrapping my arm about his neck and burying my head into his tawny fur. "Thank you." I mumbled, my words running together in my thanks. The Lion turned to nuzzle me comfortingly.

"Dear one," I raised my head long enough to look into the Lion's deep eyes. "Your friends need help."

I looked down the hill at James' fallen body and winced outwardly, images of Thomas, Dannsair, Elle, Gestilion, Peter and Caspian bombarding my mind. "But what can I do?" I asked, my voice etched with as much sorrow from my friends and family as it was joy at seeing Him.

Someone coughed nearby and I turned to see Elle standing by, looking uneasy. She held a canvas bag and held out her arm ramrod straight for me to take it, but with worry in her eyes. It was on the tip of my lips to tell her that I wasn't going to hurt her until I realized that it was not me that she feared.

It was the beautiful, ferocious lion that watched us with feral eyes.

I took the canvas bag slowly and cast my eyes to hers as she shrank back. "Forgive me, please." Her voice trembled and she looked near tears.

I stepped to wrap an arm about her in comfort, to tell her there was no need to be afraid of the Great Lion but Aslan Himself stopped me with His words.

"You have done well, daughter. I know the burden you've carried." The distraught, older woman, tears now sliding down her cheeks, covered her face with her hands.

"No, no you don't understand." Elle cried out and I dropped the bag she'd offered to grasp her forearms gently.

"You've no need to fear Him, Elle." I said softly, wondering at her fear at the Great Lion.

"No!" She cried out and tried to pull away from me. "You've no reason to be kind to me. I deserve to die."

Aslan came beside us and gently nudged me, urging me to take a step back. He faced the woman and a rumbling came from the back of his throat. It could have easily been the purr of a kitten as it could've been the start of a deafening roar. "The weight you carry has been lifted, daughter. You are forgiven."

It was with awe I watched as the woman lifted her face to gaze upon the Lion's face as if only seeing it for the very first time and she carefully reached out trembling fingers to touch a muscled shoulder of golden hair. "I- I th- thank you Sir." She said hoarsely.

With that the Lion turned to look at me and said. "Take up that we she has given you. A gift was given you for the sake of those that were hurt unjustly."

I did as Aslan ordered and pulled the bag open, reaching and drawing out a bottle of fire red liquid. I gasped quietly and looked up at both Aslan and the older woman. I wondered at what she had done. _What has she done? _

Aslan came closer to me. "The stories of others are yet unknown to you, as it is their own. Just as your story is to them." The lion was gently reprimanding and I ducked my head. "But let it be known that she will ask you to forgive her for that she has done. If she chooses to tell you her story then it an honor and trust freely given."

I nodded and looked down at the bottle in my hands. "Go on Dear One." I needed no further urging and ran down to the first of my friends. James, lay deathly still and I prayed I wasn't too late. I stroked back a strand of blonde hair from his bloody, dirt covered face.

I peered at his chest and paled to find it wasn't rising with the breath of life.

"James." I hissed at his still form. As I reached for my new bottle of cordial, suddenly his hand rose and his fingers tightened on my wrist to stop me. "It's too late. I-" He coughed and tears stung my eyes at the pained look on his handsome face.

"James I can-" He cut me off.

"I know. My life, the l- life I've been living has been a lie." He tried to sit up but fell back with a muffled hiss of pain. "Lucy!" His cold eyes were clouded with pain. "Forgive me? Please forgive me." His deep voice took on a childlike plea and I leaned closer to him.

"You are forgiven." I answered without hesitation.

His hand slipped slightly until he held my hand, squeezing it tightly. "And Caspian?"

I nodded. Caspian would have forgiven him, of that I was certain. "Of course."

James' eyes met mine and a wan smile lit upon his lips. "I thank you Queen Lucy. For everything"

I clutched his cold hand. "James you will be fine, all you have to do is drink my cordial." I touched his face with my other hand. "Let me save you." _Why are you protesting? _

The man shook his head carefully. "It's too late." He wasn't watching me anymore but looking unseeingly past me. "You were right, Aslan forgave me." James' expression eased and then became pained again. "Can I ask of you one thing?"

I gazed down at him. "Anything." I swore, tears choking my voice. His head drooped back against the ground and I hurriedly cupped my hand under his head. "Don't, James." I begged his pale features.

His cool blue eyes looked into my own blue ones and I knew of what he wanted to ask. "I'll see you again." He promised me and I knew his time was up. I leaned forward and let my lips press against his for an instant, until his grip on my hand loosened. A quiet smile in his lips.

I covered mouth to keep in a sob and closed my eyes. "Why couldn't he just let me save him?" I cried out to no one in particular.

Aslan answered me. "He gave his life so another's could be saved."

I jerked to the side and saw a young man watching from a little ways off.

"Thomas?" I questioned softly. _He gave his life for Thomas? _Thomas was running towards us and when he'd reached me, he caught me up in both arms tightly. He squeezed me tight.

"I am so glad you're alright." He gasped into my ear.

I hugged him back with fervor but then pulled away to ask. "Are you not injured?" I scanned him from head to toe and saw only scratches, torn clothing and the blood of others as well as his own mingling together on his skin and clothing.

Thomas shook his head. "No, we were attacked in the air and Gestilion got hit. We managed to make it back on the ground without further injury. But I had to leave him to get help. His leg is broken and Dannsair is with him, so is Destrier."

I stepped from Thomas' embrace and turned my head to look out over the war-torn battlefield. "Let's go." _I've my work cut out for me. _With one last look at James' peaceful body, I ran.

It was hours later before the last injured person stood and walked away from that battlefield to help their fellow comrades with the one's who'd been less fortunate. They were to be buried as soon as possible. James among them. With the help of the cordial, we'd lost only a hundred or more Narnian's. I was thankful it hadn't been more.

It was when there was a long enough pause to rest before the burials would begin that I went rigid with fear. _Where is Caspian? _I hadn't seen him for... I scanned my memory for when I'd last seen him. _When I returned. _When I'd made it back with the others I had thought I'd spotted him among the chaos but I hadn't lain eyes on him since.

I found myself jogging with an energy I didn't know I had left and searching frantically for the young king's handsome face. "Thomas!" I called out, my barely controlled voice shook with dread and Thomas was at my side immediately. I briefly pondered how he'd appeared so quickly but the expression on his face stopped me dead. "Thomas? Where is Caspian?"

Thomas' arm went about me, to no doubt try and keep me calm. I had never felt so uncalm than at that moment. My brother was probably dead, James was dead and my beloved sister had betrayed me. "Answer me!" I shouted, jerking away from the man. Of course it was wrong to be violent with Thomas but I wasn't the cool, calm, levelheaded sibling of my brothers and the girl I'd once called my sister.

Thomas didn't cringe when I shoved him away from me harshly. "Lucy." He tried to say. "Just listen to me." He caught my arm to keep me from pulling away again.

"Tell me." I ordered and was suddenly aware of the men and creatures, Elle, who'd made it out with nothing but a hurt arm and the secrets she still kept to herself. Most looked sympathetic and that made me clench my jaw tightly. "What's happened?" I demanded roughly.

"Lu." Thomas pulled me close and whispered softly, tenderly. As if he was trying to prepare me for something. Something horrible.

My stomach clenched uneasily and my heart beat rather frantically in my chest. My legs trembled and I didn't pull away from Thomas as I was now leaning on him slightly to remain upright.

"What is it?" My voice remained steady and even but that was the farthest from what I felt right then as I hissed in a hoarse voice. "Caspian?"

Thomas took my arm and led me over to the fire to ourselves so he could speak without interruption. "I don't know how or why," Thomas licked his lips and grimaced but held my eyes. "He's gone."

Like my sister had driven a dagger through my own heart, I cringed outwardly and pulled away from Thomas' comforting arms. He could give me no comfort if what he said was the truth.

"What do you mean? He's gone, gone where?" _Dead? _I felt sick in my stomach at the thought but forced calm at Thomas' worried gaze.

Thomas reached out and touched my shoulder and gave it a gentle, but firm squeeze. "He's disappeared. Someone said they last saw him when you were by James' side. He hasn't been found thus far."

A chill ran through my body as much from the cool night air as from this news. That and anger. I felt anger blaze through me and give me more strength than what I'd had previously.

"He's been gone for _hours_?" I growled archly. "And no one saw fit to tell me this?" I stood quickly and abruptly.

Thomas came up as soon as I did and grasped my arm tightly to keep me from moving away from him, to make me listen. "No one thought he was gone, until an hour or so ago. Some of his men became suspicious and started looking and..." Thomas stopped, leaving me to finish the rest of that sentence.

The ire within me was wrought mostly from my sister's betrayal, more than my actual anger at the Narnian's but that didn't keep me from snapping out in anger. "Someone could have told me!"

Thomas withdrew his hand and I could tell from his stiff stance that he was trying to keep from snapping at me. "It isn't the Narnian's fault." He replied steadily, calmly. Ever the levelheaded one.

"I know!" I bit out the words. "You don't have to tell me that, _I know._" I couldn't stand his gentleness, an attempt at trying to keep me calm. But Caspian was missing and no one had seen him in hours after the bloody battle. Was I supposed to be calm? Was I not supposed to be angry at the Narnian's when they hadn't alerted me the moment they thought something was amiss?

My mind warred with my heart. I knew the reason they hadn't told me. They hadn't wanted to worry me if he was okay and cause unjust worry for me. By now everyone would've known about my sister and that would have greatly affected their decision in telling me, I knew.

_But that doesn't make it right. _

"Lucy." Thomas pulled me out of my inner battle and I looked him in the face. I could see he was worried about me. When he saw me return his gaze he said. "Say something."

My lips twisted slightly. "What is there to say?" I shook my head and moved my gaze to the black sky overhead. I knew what I was going to do. "I'm leaving." With the words I moved, my tired legs carrying me towards Dannsair, Sparrow and the other horses.

"Lucy!" Thomas followed after me. "You can't just go off-"

"Watch me." I replied evenly.

Thomas made a growling sound behind me in irritation, but asked. "Where do you want to start?"

I paused not far from the horses. "Where have the Narnian's searched thus far?"

Thomas caught my arm again. "The south side a ways, where we came from Tashbaan and they've just started scanning the closest side of the Great Woods."

I nodded stiffly. "Then we start farther up. Northeast of here, past Cair Pairavel."

Thomas' jaw was tense when he agreed and we both headed for Dannsair and Destrier. I wished to give Sparrow a rest from all that had happened. At least one of us deserved the rest.

With a short, parting glance at the Narnian's that weren't searching and preparing to bury the dead at first light, I turned around and sat straight in the saddle on Dannsair's back.

_Caspian where are you? _

~X~X~X~

Dawn was coming over Narnia as I rubbed weary eyes that burned with exhaustion. We'd been searching all night. There had been no trace of Caspian. Nothing.

A question that I'd been asking myself all night I finally let come out of my mouth. "Where is Aslan?"

Because I truly did not know. One moment He'd been there, and then, just like Caspian, He'd been gone.

Thomas jerked, startled, I guessed at hearing me speak for the first time since the previous night. "I- I'm not sure."

I swallowed and looked down at my hands clutching Dannsair's creamy mane. "He left yesterday. How could He just leave?" My voice was hoarse and I closed my eyes tightly. I wasn't going to cry. Tears meant that I'd have to admit something had actually happened to Narnia's young king.

I wasn't about to doubt Aslan, I'd done that already and it had gotten me nowhere. I just didn't understand.

Thomas' presence was soothing as he offered a reply. "There was a reason Lucy. Even if you and I don't know it...there _had _to be a reason."

I opened my mouth to take a deep breath of air, even as it pained my chest to do so. My mind was devoid of any explanation and I didn't say anything in reply.

Dannsair, however, did. "You need to eat something child." Her normally bright and somewhat dry humor was nowhere to be found. Her deep eyes solemn with seriousness. It was an unusual sight and one I disliked greatly.

"I'm not hungry." I answered and frowned as she came to a stop in the middle of the wood.

Thomas and Destrier were stopped likewise and Thomas slipped from Destrier's back stiffly. "Dannsair and Destrier need a rest and so do you Lucy. Try to eat something; you need strength if you're to continue like this."

I almost protested but one look at Thomas' still bloodied and dirty appearance stopped me. His eyes were red from his weariness and he limped slightly on one leg. An injury from the battle I hadn't seen or noticed. Guilt made me dismount.

Wordlessly, as soon as Thomas had offered me bread and cheese, I passed him my bottle of cordial. There was no need for his pain if something could be done about it.

Thomas started to refuse, I could tell, but with one glance up at him he closed his mouth and took the tiniest of drops from the bottle. When I was near Elle again I promised myself to ask how she'd come by the bottle.

As the horses grazed a little ways off I chewed my food slowly and swallowed it without a thought. It could have been anything at that moment and I doubted I would have noticed.

Something was feeling at odds inside me. I almost dismissed it as just Caspian being missing...but that didn't feel right.

"Thomas?" I asked aloud, unsure of what I even wanted to say.

"What is it Lu?" His shoulder just brushed mine and I knew he was studying me but I didn't meet his eyes, just continued gazing ahead of us at nothing in particular.

"What if this isn't what it seems?" I licked my dry lips and put the rest of my food down. "As far as we've now searched...nothing's been found. What if something else happened to him?"

Thomas didn't say anything, just waited for me to finish my thought.

"Not all of the creatures and men were destroyed at the end of the battle; some lived because they weren't filled with the dark magic the others were consumed in. What if one or even a few were missed and-"

"And they were able to overpower King Caspian. They could have slipped off without scarcely a glance amidst everything." Thomas finished and I heard renewed hope in his voice as well as my own.

"And there's something else," I was on my feet now and moving back towards the horse's. A dangerous feeling called hope filling my chest. "Susan," Her name was bitter in my mouth. "She wasn't magical. I wonder how it was that she was using it throughout everything?"

Thomas, once again, was following my way of thinking and said hesitantly. "Unless she had help?"

_What if she did indeed? _I pondered this as Thomas and I remounted. Dannsair was asking Thomas questions I could hear but I had my eyes closed, ignoring them as I tried to remember something, anything that could help us.

"We're back, Your Majesty." It was Destrier who said it and I opened my eyes to find we'd finally made it back to the clearing of land where we'd fought the previous day.

Many heads turned and almost all stood and walked our way with hope in their faces. I ignored them all as my eyes fell upon Elle and something fell into place. The older woman's eyes met mine at the same moment and I saw dread in them.

Many comforting, sympathetic and troubled eyes looked my way and I acknowledged their words with a few hurried ones of my own. I had to speak with Elle.

"Lucy-" Thomas started and I paused, turning back towards him with orders.

"Could you see if Sparrow is well enough to ride? I think we'll be leaving shortly." It wasn't Thomas that protested my words, but Dannsair.

"I'm not leaving your side, Queen Lucy! I'm coming along with or without your consent!" She protested adamantly.

"It's-" I started to argue quickly but it was Destrier that halted me this time.

"If it's all the same, My Queen." The large black horse's head nodded respectfully. "I'd come along, King Caspian is my Rider as well as My King."

The great horse looked at me with emotionless black eyes and I looked away, feeling as if the horse could read my innermost thoughts when he looked at me. It was the first time he'd spoken to me directly. I couldn't refuse the horse, I knew.

"Of course." At Dannsair's snort I shot her a glare. "Both, if you wish."

"And us as well." I swung around to find Trian, Eosu, Rhys, Philip, Drinian and a handful of other men that had both mocked and helped me this past month in Narnia.

I had to glance away at their show of loyalty. I didn't feel I deserved it. "Thank you." I said softly and then. "I'll only be a moment, be ready to leave shortly." My tone was firm, surprisingly in control despite the fear that pounded in my chest. Even if I'd figured something out, there was no guarantee Caspian still lived.

That was something that I could hardly bear to think, let alone voice.

~X~

Moments later Elle had caught my arm and she lowered her voice to a whisper.

"I must speak with you Queen Lucy."

I let the woman pull me over near a fire and offer me a warm cup of liquid. "Elle." I acknowledged politely, though my heart pounded with fear.

"Child."

We spoke at the same time, but there was nothing amusing at the moment.

"Let me speak, please." Elle hurriedly said before I could. I nodded my consent and suddenly, in my foggy mind I recalled Aslan's words. "_An honor and trust freely given." _

_What secrets do you keep Elle? _I wondered silently.

The older woman took a deep breath, her ample bosom rising even with her armor still on. "I've not been completely honest about everything I've known."

I cast her an indifferent look. I'd suspected that and I had a suspicion there was something odd about Caspian's disappearance. Something that she might know. I leaned forward almost imperceptibly, waiting for her to finish.

As I studied the older woman's face I noticed some things were different since the last time I'd seen her, even when it had only been a week or more. Her always bright, teasing smile was dim, replaced with a tight grimace. Her eyes were weary and there were dark spots below then, telling of sleepless nights and the horrid battle itself.

_But it's more than that. _

"You met my d- daughter, didn't you?" Elle finally managed to say.

"Of course, she seemed..." I trailed off and thought back to the inky splotch on her skin that I'd seen by chance.

"I thought I did the right thing in trying to speak with her. I thought she might be different and she seemed so, especially when I spoke of you." Elle's words started coming all at once; she spoke in quick, clipped tones. "I should have seen it or suspected and perhaps I did, but I ignored it because I was so happy to be speaking to her again."

_She's was a part of it, wasn't she? _I didn't ask it out loud but let my mind wrap around the words she'd already spoken, confirming suspicions. As Elle continued on rapidly I reached and touched her arm.

"Elle, was, is your daughter a part of _this_?"

Tears could be seen in the woman's eyes as she nodded. "I thought she might be different. I thought that perhaps she'd changed her ways, as I had."

I sucked in a breath. _As she had? _"Elle, we have no time to waste, if you know something that could lead us to Caspian, please," My voice broke slightly and I fought the impulse to order her to tell me. "I must find him." Desperation hinted my tone.

"I will try my best to tell you everything." My head jerked up and I offered her a half smile as thank you before she started.

"They, _we, _called ourselves Hashish." She said carefully.

_The Outcast. _I recognized the word's meaning as she said it.

"I was a part of it." There was reluctance at admitting this, but she went on anyway. "Just as His Majesty and his men call themselves Shamerim,"

"How do you know about Caspian and his men?" I demanded quickly.

Elle wasn't looking at me. "Because the Hashish have made it a point to know as much about their enemies as possible. Beyond that even.

They didn't start out like that though, no," She got a wistful look in her eyes as she continued. "It was all in good fun. It began when a few young girls in a town near the one I grew up in grew annoyed with the men and boys. They were constantly left out of activities, like swordplay and learning the skill of bow and arrows.

One day the girls made up their mind to be just what those men told them they couldn't be. They formed a...small group. It was merely just fun at first but the girls got more serious as they went along and started training each other with any weapon they could find in their possession.

They fought, trained until they were sure they could fight just about any young man that came their way and others they would simply rely on wit and cunning. By then the girls had become young women."

Elle stopped for breath and understanding came to me.

"You were one of the girls?"

Elle sighed with a burden she'd been carrying years. "My sister and I. Our small group started growing and one day my sister and I realized that what we were doing wasn't just a game anymore. We had hundreds of young women and girls training to be..._soldiers. _

But the rules we'd made up as children became real, more serious. My sister and I disagreed on many things but one in particular was that no woman or girl in our little group could wed."

"What of your daughters then?" I couldn't help but ask.

Elle didn't chide me for interrupting. "It was like that for a while. My sister and I quarreled eventually because I'd met a young man and I planned on marrying him. My sister swore that she would disown me from the group as well as being her sister.

By then I was so angry and shocked at my sister's behavior that the group began taking sides. My sister lied about many things and turned a lot of women against me.

One thing she told was that I was a witch, that I'd inherited magic from my mother. As we were twins only one of us had gotten it. It wasn't just that, she told them it was dark magic. That I'd been manipulating them." As I watched Elle I had a feeling she was far away from me then. "Some didn't believe her of course, but we fought and in the end my sister was killed at my hand. Whoever wasn't killed in the fight disappeared, gone forever."

_Or so you thought. _

"Or I thought they had." Elle said dismally. "Some were left, I knew." She shook her head in disgust, whether at herself or the whole thing, I did not know. "The greatest reason I wanted to get married was that I was with child. I was scared for her and I did what I thought was right."

Elle covered her face with hands. "And still, she was turned against me."

"How was it that your daughter came by her mark if these women had already disbanded?" I questioned gently.

Elle's hands dropped down. "What mark?"

Quickly I explained what I'd seen and Elle's face seemed to crumple. As if she hadn't been quite sure of her daughter's loyalties until then. I'd just confirmed it.

But Elle slowly raised her head once more and stared me in the eyes. "It is done then. I fear that she's run, I saw her before the battle briefly. I thought all these years she refused me as her mother because she'd learned of my past. It was not me, but herself."

"Where has she gone then?" My patience and curiosity had run out and all I wanted was to find an answer in all this. To find Caspian.

"I don't know."

My hope shriveled and I fought anger. "Why tell me all this then?" A dangerous edge came in my voice and I bit back a snap.

"You deserved to know. I'm not sure of my daughter's destination but I think she would have run away from here." Elle gestured past us and I frowned. "She would've known they'd be searching the Great Wood."

"So she would have run _away_." I exclaimed and looked past Elle to the tip of Cair Pairavel and the stone cliffs beyond that I could scarcely see from here. They bordered the beach just beyond Cair. "She would've been going there." I whispered more to myself than to Elle.

"Let us go." Elle, I saw as I looked back, was already on her feet and moving before I could protest. I didn't have the will to argue and didn't truly care anymore. I stood, falling into step beside her as we ran to the horse's Thomas had ready.

Mounted and ready a few moments later, I gazed up. I could see the very tip of the rock cliffs. They spoke of death, silhouetted against the dark sky.

"Are you ready Lucy?" I registered Thomas' voice and I answered him but didn't move my eyes from that spot. Caspian was somewhere up there, I was certain.

"For King Caspian." I murmured, the words echoing behind me as we ran.

~X~X~X~X~

Fear weighed heavy on my heart, a burdensome load to carry as we rode on. We'd been searching for almost two days now and still there was nothing to be found.

_Nothing. _

I was half slumped on Sparrow's back, giving Dannsair to Elle for her to ride.

It was Thomas who dared to ride up beside me and try and stop me. "Lucy you have to quit."

I swung about and knocked his hand away from me. "He lives, I _know_ he lives."

There was a scowl in Thomas' eyes. "How can you know?" He hissed quietly. "Even if he isn't..." Thomas cut short his harsh words. "You can't keep searching like this, it will only kill you." He softened visibly and tried to touch my arm. "Will you rest, please? For just a bit."

I scanned the men and creatures of Narnian alike that had come with me. Most looked tired and weary. A lot of them still spattered with blood and dirt from the battle. The same as I was.

"Fine." I consented; I slid from Sparrow and winced as my legs buckled underneath my weight from not having been used. My entire body ached.

But I didn't groan, didn't cry. I was the Narnian's Queen; I would not give them reason to believe that Caspian very well did not live anymore."

Someone reached down and grasped my forearms, pulling me back to my feet. I looked up into the face of Philip. The man who had teased Caspian and me about our sparring fight back in Calormen.

"Don't lose heart Queen Lucy. I believe he lives also. But Aslan moves in mysterious ways, ways we cannot begin to understand." The fatherly man spoke kindly.

I nodded bitterly. As I prepared to sleep, a shadow fell over me just moments later and I found Drinian standing above me. "What is it?" I asked, my muscles tensing for anything.

"I want to thank you Queen Lucy." The man knelt beside me. "One of the reasons we won that battle was you're doing. You've much courage I believe, young as you are."

I almost ignored his comment but something made me straighten and face the man, saying. "Forgive me if it seems rude, Captain but I'm not all that young. I wasn't always this young." Memories past came to mind but I shoved them away.

The Captain frowned apologetically but only said. "And you've seen more of battle than any one of these men, seen more than anyone ever should."

"It cannot be helped." I replied. "I would fight for my people a thousand times over and more."

"I know that, Queen Lucy." His hand touched my shoulder lightly. "Have some rest and if it is Aslan's will, we'll find His Majesty. That I promise you."

I didn't reply. I saw no need to, for I already knew what he told me.

It seemed I was to have many kind words and encouragement that evening as scarcely another few moments had passed and who arrived at my side, none other than a dwarf I hadn't seen in a while, even when I'd known he was among the other Narnian's.

"Trumpkin." I acknowledged without turning.

"Say what you're thinking Queen Lucy. You keep your emotions too silent for the sake of others." The dwarf ordered me in that grumpy, gentle tone he always used with me.

I raised one shoulder. "I've nothing to say, Trumpkin. I fear my mind is so tired I cannot even form a thought of what I feel." And that was the truth. Partly, anyway.

Silence and then I sensed he was moving as he said. "I'll leave you to your rest then, but know that it isn't a weakness to shed a tear for those we've lost and loved."

I had no reply and even if I had the short dwarf was already gone.

I lay down tiredly after he'd gone, letting the weariness of my body drag me into a restless slumber.

_Aslan keep him safe. I didn't get to tell him I loved him. And please let the others have gotten to Peter in time. Let them both be okay. _

Trumpkin's words echoed in my mind after he'd gone. _Lost and loved. _

With those words I was gone.

~X~X~

Something woke me.

I rolled over with a groan and forced my eyes open to find out what had made me stir from my sleep. I saw nothing and rubbed at my tired eyes before shoving up to a seated position.

I saw the others still slept; it was dark out but starting to lighten with the sun of a new day.

I got to my feet silently so as not to wake anyone and peered about.

_What did I hear? _

I stooped and took up my swords. I'd been wakened too many times this past month in danger and I wasn't going anywhere without my weapons. I walked around the men and creatures, frowning at how deeply they slept_. There should be guards awake. _

Something was wrong.

"Oh no." I dropped to the ground at Thomas' side and grabbed his arm rather roughly, shaking it equally as harshly. "Wake up Thomas!" No response.

I moved on to others, shaking and calling their names. "They cannot be dead!" I came to a halt from my frantic actions and took a breath. I examined one of the men more closely. His chest rose with breath.

"Their asleep." I said wonderingly, disbelief making me shake my head slightly with confusion. _How is this possible? _

I had an inclination of what this was. Elle had spoken of magic, that she'd been accused of having. And what if she did? What if her daughter had it as well?

Perhaps a crazy thought, but I wasn't sure anything was all that crazy anymore. Not after I'd seen my own sister stand up against Narnia to destroy it.

I walked between the sleeping Narnian's and searched for Elle. She was still lying asleep with the others and a small part of me sighed in relief that she hadn't been lying to me about her changed ways at least.

With that uneasy thought I walked past the Narnian's and upwards, towards the gradual slope of hill that would lead me to the top of the rock cliffs. I needed to go there, of that I was certain. I would be able to see all out across the land north of here where we hadn't searched yet.

A while passed and the sky lightened a little and I frowned, face tilted upwards. It should have been dawn by then. Perhaps it was.

As if the days past hadn't been harsh enough, thunder resounded around me, so loud I could feel it reverberating through my chest as I broke into a run towards the cliffs. A storm was coming and not a nice rain shower either.

Climbing up had gotten tedious by then as I drew closer to the top. The ground flattened and tilted until I was pulling my body up by the strength in my arms and my feet braced against rocks and small shrubs alike.

Thunder echoed around me and I saw a flash through the still thick trees around me and knew it was lightning. I trembled inside.

I clutched at protruding roots and finally broke the surface of the trees and greenery around me. I dared not look back as I didn't want to know how far I'd come up. I didn't fear heights but that wasn't to say I couldn't start.

My handholds were getting farther and farther apart as the dirt and grass I'd been clinging too coincided and disappeared, swallowed by rock. I was near the top. I fought to hold on tightly as a gust of wind tried to push me back down.

I gasped for breath as lightning crashed again, making my hair tingle with life. I shivered, pausing to regain a firm hold. Tears found their way to my eyes and I looked up at the sky I could now see. It was steel grey, black around the edges as clouds billowed up and lightning could be seen shooting from cloud to cloud.

I had stopped. And I was afraid to move. My arms trembled from holding my weight as much as from fear. I felt something wet on my face and opened eyes I hadn't realized I'd closed to find rain starting to pour down upon my body.

Tears ran with the rain down my cheeks and I cried out to the sky above. "Aslan how can this be what You want for me? I believe in You. I know You will help me. Why won't You come?" My hands reached out and I found the energy to keep going, the rock cliff protruding here so I reached and pulled myself up in a damp heap. My words were unanswered at that moment.

It was then that I heard a voice. "You weren't supposed to make it here." I was on my feet in a moment and turning to find a pale faced woman watching me.

"Annabella." Elle's daughter stood before me, flames seemingly dancing off her face as lightning struck about us. "Where is Caspian?"

The woman simply smiled and raised her hand. It danced with dark light; much like the witch women's had weeks before outside of Calormen. "Ah your handsome king is around here somewhere. Why don't you come find him?" Her voice was low, a sweet, saccharine melodic sound that made one want to obey.

It did nothing to me. I walked towards her, a fire of its own burning in my eyes. I walked steadily, with less fear than I would have thought possible. The wind blew against me, trying to force me back, to a long fall and certain death below. So strong that it plastered my already wet clothing to my body as I went against it.

I brought my arm up to shield my face until I stood before her.

We were face to face. It was much like looking at my sister. Our hair whipped about violently and Elle's daughter smiled again.

"You are stronger than they knew Daughter of Eve. But you will die just as you should have where your sister failed." Her hand, she held up, it was white, flesh colored one moment and the next when I blinked, it was crimson red.

I gasped aloud and stepped back in shock.

Elle's daughter chuckled. "Yes, it is blood, I'm afraid. It is my mark, from the innocent I've killed."

_Sadistic. _I tried to hold my ground against the...demon. She wasn't a woman. "Touch my hand Daughter of Eve!" She screamed at me over the storm. "With but one touch you will have what you seek, your love is secured with the young king. And he, his love for you."

"No." I whispered and she cackled in my face.

"But it is _love." _She giggled and suddenly her face was that of my sister, an enchantress. "You must follow your heart; you are in love with him. I do not mind." Seemingly my sister smiled at me sweetly. "Go, love him. He is yours."

I turned my face away and fought against the demon's pull. But she turned and circled me; her face was becoming a reflection of Edmund and Peter in turn. "We give you our permission. Caspian _loves _you. Touch her hand, he will be yours."

My resolve twisted at seeing my brother's faces. _It's not them. _My mind screamed at me and my hand reached for the sword at my right, my fingertips just grazing the hilt but stopping as I was now looking up into the face of Caspian.

"Caspian?" My voice questioned and something within me paused. This was so real, it had to be Caspian.

His dark hair was messy and he smiled at me. "Lu," He held out his rough, work hardened hand to me. "Come, we need each other."

My breathing was heavy as I gazed at his open palm.

"My child."

Still I gazed at the hand that was inviting me to come. I wavered.

"Lucy." It sounded like Caspian said my name but the Caspian's lips in front of me never moved.

I fought against the pull. _No. _"No." I gasped for air. "No!" But my hand went out and leveled with the Caspian's hand before me.

There were inches between them. Between our flesh. _His love is guaranteed._

My fist closed tightly into a ball and I shook my head slowly.

"No. I believe in Aslan. I will not come. Leave me." My words were stiff on my lips and the demon before me snarled suddenly, and it was Elle's daughter before me once more. I reeled back.

_Dear One._

My hand brought the sword up in one swift motion and the lightning came just as quick and violently. I caught a glimpse of the blade before I was blinded by the lightning's flash as it seemed to connect with my sword.

It was a moment frozen it seemed, as I held the sword above the creature. "I _believe._" A Lion's roar was heard, I brought the blade down and suddenly I wasn't on my feet anymore. The sword was free of my hands and I saw a flash of gold before someone screamed and I saw someone coming my way.

He ran, his hair flying back and he caught me up and we both went sliding across wet rock. A roar echoed off that rock cliff and I would have sworn all of Narnia and beyond had heard it.

It and the crash that followed knocked us both off our feet and then, there was nothing below us.

~X~X~

I might have screamed. There was a brief moment of being completely weightless and I registered Caspian falling much like I was but then...I wasn't quite sure what happened. We weren't falling quite so fast and when we hit the water I felt no sting of pain.

It was as if I had fainted.

Then my eyes opened and widened. I was underwater. My mouth gaped open in shock and I kicked, unsure of which way was up. I kicked out but something was around my middle. I raised my fist to make it release me but then my head broke the surface.

"Uuuuhhh!" I sucked in air, my vision cleared and I shook my head to rid it of the blackness. Sunshine shone down on me. I touched what had a hold of my middle and found something warm. A hand.

I twisted around in the water. In the arms of a young King.

"Caspian!" His arms tightened as I said his name.

Our eyes met and something unlike I had ever known filled my chest. I choked on my words. "I didn't know if I'd see you again."

Gold reflected out at me but he did not speak. One of his hands came up to touch my face, so tenderly as if I were made of the finest glass.

He took my hand after a moment and pulled gently back towards shore as we were still treading water whilst I clung to him.

We were scarcely knee deep when I jerked my hand from his. "Caspian? Why won't you speak to me?" My voice trembled with the feelings I'd kept to myself since he'd disappeared.

He swung around, his jaw tense. "It's nothing Lucy."

"Nothing is the last word I would use to describe what I feel for you." I murmured so quietly that the sound of waves lapping at my knees almost covered it.

He was in front of me before I could blink. "Do you mean that?"

I looked him in the eyes. _How could I not mean it? _

His mouth grazed mine in a heartbeat and I stumbled back in surprise, his arm catching me before I could fall. His lips coming back to meet mine. My mouth curled slightly into a smile beneath his lips as I let the kiss twist my insides and make my heart beat faster.

I tilted my head back and let him kiss me fully. Leaning up to kiss him back sweetly. His lips tasted of salt. _But only the sweetest salt there could be. _

He pulled back for but a moment before kissing me again. I wasn't protesting as his lips moved to kiss my cheek and then my forehead.

"Lucy, my sweet, dear, beautiful love." His lips caught mine once more and I reveled in the feeling of our lips pressed together in that moment. I touched my hand to his face and smiled at the roughness of his unshaven skin.

"I love-" I was cut off as shouts reached my ears and I pulled out of Caspian's arms. Blushing, I looked around to find all of the Narnian's who'd fought alongside us coming our way along the beach.

Caspian's arm reached to slip around my shoulder. "Is something the matter Lu?" A teasing grin split his face and I bit my lip to keep from laughing.

"Be quiet Caspian." I ordered sternly and he chuckled. It was harder than I imagined to tear my eyes from the sight of his smiling face and to the waiting Narnian's.

"Is that Peter?" Caspian's question made me jerk my head back around to look at who was making his way along the beach towards us.

"Peter!" I pulled away from Caspian and trotted towards my brother. I hit him with force and he stumbled back from my hug. "I am so glad you're alright." I squeezed him tight.

Hands were at my waist and gingerly pulling me back a little from the tight embrace. "Careful Lu or you'll hurt him." Caspian chuckled from behind and I released my brother.

Peter's face was pale. "I'm just as glad for you Lu." He pointed up at the cliff far above. "Aslan was with you both to survive that fall."

Caspian caught Peter's hand in a tight hold. "Glad to see you up again, Peter."

Peter returned the gesture. "I hope you've been taking care of my sister."

My face was pink and I looked down, letting my wet hair cover my face and cool my burning cheeks as Caspian answered.

"Oh, she's quite taken care of herself more than she's allowed anyone else." He glanced at me and winked broadly. "Isn't that right Lu?"

_You can stop now Caspian. _Peter was now looking back and forth between us half amused and half something else that I didn't want to think about.

"I look forward to hearing all about it." He answered with a raised eyebrow. "Caspian had perhaps better tell me, for I know he'll not try to make the events sound less dangerous than they actually were."

I rolled my eyes. "There's no need for all that, Peter." _Because he might give something away that you needn't know quite yet. _Had Peter been only a moment earlier there would be nothing to hide. I was sure he wouldn't have been exactly pleased with his youngest sister and the King of Narnia kissing as boldly as we'd been.

Peter didn't reply and I looked up to find the Narnian's moving in around us to see their Kings and Queen alive before them with their own eyes. Many words passed and were spoken in a short time as we all stood together.

We all babbled with relief and happiness.

A long while had passed when a golden winged horse and a great black steed appeared nearby. Dannsair's neigh was ear piercing as she made her way to me and nearly knocked me over as she nudged me. "You are alive!" She exclaimed and I laughed with relief, pushing her nose away.

"I am and as are you my friend!" I wrapped my arms around her neck tightly. "I cannot thank you enough for your loyalty."

She nibbled at my hair. "Anything for the Warrior Queen. She is a hero to her people."

"Lucy?" Peter called out from behind me and I saw he had mounted Gestilion. "Would you like to ride with me?"

I cast Dannsair an apologetic look that I wouldn't be riding back on her but she stopped me with a swift bite to my waist. "Don't be so quick to ride with His Majesty, King Caspian has mounted Destrier." I looked up to see Caspian watching me and he grinned when he saw me looking his way.

"No, thank you Peter. I think I'll give Gestilion a rest. I'll just ride with Caspian on Destrier." I grimaced at Dannsair who made the closest sound to snickering as any horse ever could.

"Carry on, Queen Lucy the Valiant." She said lightly, her brown eyes dancing with amusement. I shot her a glare before walking over to Caspian. He reached down both hands and I let him lift me in front of him on Destrier's back.

"Suit yourself." Came Peter's reply and I looked his way to see him gazing at me curiously. I dropped my eyes swiftly and leaned back slightly into Caspian.

Turning my head so I could see Caspian's expression. He had a wide grin on his face and I brought my elbow back into his ribs lightly. "Quit smiling like that."

"Like what?" He whispered, letting his left hand rest on my waist gently.

I didn't answer and shot a look at Peter who glanced away as he saw me looking and was trying to pretend he hadn't been staring. His face held something odd, a quizzical expression. A look directed at me, not Caspian.

My thoughts as we rode back to Tashbaan? I had only one that wasn't related those unbearably sweet kisses.

If Peter's frequent gaze was any indication. I wasn't going to be able to keep what I felt for Caspian hidden too long. Peter hadn't been here long but already he was suspicious of something I could tell.

_This isn't going to end well. _

It was going to be a long ride back to Tashbaan and an even longer one back to Calormen.

Caspian's fingers had moved to my shoulder and I leaned slightly at his touch. He was fondling with my hair, brushing his fingers along my neck. It reminded me that I had been waiting too long for the one thing he'd change about me.

"Caspian?" I whispered quietly, to make sure Peter or anyone else wouldn't overhear. "Will you tell me now?"

It might have been my imagination but I thought I felt him stiffen behind me just a little. "It is nothing Lu. We'll talk later."

I frowned at his sudden, tight voice. "Nothing?" _It wasn't nothing. _I half turned in front of Caspian so I could look at him fully. "What do you mean?"

There was something strange in Caspian's face. I followed his gaze and saw Peter was watching us closely again until he saw me glance his way. "Is it Peter?"

"No." Caspian's voice was low. "There is someone you need to speak with and it is not I."

Confused I looked ahead and saw something I'd missed beyond Peter and the others. Someone standing on the beach and I smiled.

It might have been said by Caspian or me. Or maybe both.

"Unbelievable."

**:O Who could this be? Review please! I hope the next chapter won't be too long before I get it up. Tell me, was anybody shocked at how this chapter turned out? Anybody sense an argument brewing between Lucy and Caspian? And Peter too maybe? ;) **


	20. What Reason Had He? Alternate Chapter

**~**Warning, this is the alternate chapter that I told y'all about and follows a completely different route in the story. First of all Elle's daughter is not evil. Shocking, right? And the reason for Caspian's disappearance is different than it is in the REAL chapter of the story. I really liked both ideas is why I'm posting this one. If you're confused I will gladly explain if I can. (PM if you want.) Because you most likely WILL be confused about something... :P**

**So, review just as you would a regular chapter please and let me know if you think I made the right choice in using the previous chapter instead of this one. Lol, you better say the previous one. ;) **

**Oh and this chapter picks up kind of in between the previous one, so start somewhere around the sentences.**

"Thomas didn't cringe when I shoved him away from me harshly. "Lucy." He tried to say. "Just listen to me." He caught my arm to keep me from pulling away again."** (This is the part after the battle and Lucy has just started wondering where Caspian is.) **

**It's not exact, but that's about where I split the chapter in two (or three?) and wrote it the other way.**

**Now, READ ON!**~**

_**(Alternate) Chapter 19- What Reason Had He? **_

"I don't know why or for how long but he's gone."

I was fairly sure my brows must have met in the middle as they were so drawn together in confusion as I stared at him with incredulity. "What do you mean?"

Thomas loosed my arm and brushed both hands over his own face tiredly. "He left earlier, a bit after James..."

"He left." I repeated slowly. It was a simple sentence with a simple meaning and yet I stared at Thomas as if he were perhaps addled. "Caspian left? Why?" _What reason had he to leave? _

Thomas took my hand and led me over to sit near a blazing fire so as to gather less attention from the weary, dirtied faces of our fellow Narnian's.

Elle, I saw, was coming our way but I noticed she lingered as her daughter appeared at her shoulder and said something.

My eyes went to Dannsair. Her golden hide was a sight for sore eyes after what my sister had threatened upon her. To see her and Destrier standing side by side leaning against one another comfortably, made a small smile come to my lips.

Gestilion and his herd were spread out farther along across the beach, preferring the tangy, salt laden grass that grew there, whilst Sparrow and the men's horses stayed near the Great Wood.

When I saw Sparrow I stopped and eyed him closely. He'd been as much a hero this day as anyone else. Without him we'd never have gotten help in time. Regardless of his fears and the lack of courage his stable mates had accused him of, he'd shown what he really was and I nodded my head with satisfaction as I now knew the name he'd be given.

Caspian's men all ate and rested uneasily, casting looks Thomas' and my way until I finally turned to him with quizzical eyes and demanded again. "Why did he leave?"

"I told you that I don't know. If I understood, I'd explain." Thomas said with a frown. "I saw him leave, Aslan seemed to speak to him, but I couldn't hear what was said, Caspian nodded and I didn't see him again after that. Or Aslan." He added.

I scowled deeply. _What does that mean? _Had Caspian done something wrong? And a small part of me, the part I blamed on the events of this cursed day, blazed with anger. _Why couldn't he have told me he was leaving? _It bothered me more than I liked to admit to myself. Was he with Aslan? That seemed most likely.

"Say something Lucy." Thomas urged after I'd been quiet too long.

I half turned to meet his eyes. "What is there for me to say? I've less of an inclination of why he would have left as you do." I spread my hands out between us, palms up. "You've no idea when he'll return?"

Thomas shook his head apologetically. "I'm sorry Lucy."

I stood and shrugged my shoulders, like I was shedding a cloak. "Then we wait."

And wait we did.

~X~X~X~X~

~ONE WEEK LATER~

I made a growling noise in my throat and pushed aside every dress that had been laid out for me to try on and find one suitable to wear for dinner that night.

A particularly well known Duke and Duchess of Tashbaan had invited me to dinner and though I'd tried to politely refuse the offer, they hadn't taken no for an answer.

The reason for my refusal and imminent problem with trying to find something to wear?

_Caspian. _

_Why hasn't he returned? _I asked myself for; I was sure, the thousandth time that blasted week. It had been one entire week since that day and things were as close to the same as they could possibly be without the return of Narnia's King.

People whispered and gossiped of the reason. Mostly ridiculous assumptions. Elle kept me well in the know of the latest ones and her daughter as well.

They were getting on quite well so far. They'd each forgiven the other for the past of which Elle had admitted she'd once been a part of the people James had been as well. That had explained her daughter's mark of the people. It stood for their secrecy.

There was a bit more to that story I'd wager, but I didn't pry too hard. Both mother and daughter were good and speaking so I was leaving well enough alone where the two were concerned. Their past was between them and I had faith they would work it out.

Thomas was being a faithful companion and friend. Mostly I just kept my thoughts about Caspian to myself, because the subject of Caspian between Thomas and me was a tentative one. One that I didn't like to approach and cause Thomas further...pain or irritation. Also because even when I'd turned Thomas down I wasn't sure of Caspian's feelings for me.

_And it appears I'm not going to know anytime soon. _I thought cynically as I grasped a rather dark green dress of a silky material to wear. It flowed easily from the waist and its sleeves were long and hung from my elbows loosely, a braided leather hide belt was tied at my waist to give the otherwise plain dress some decoration.

In truth it wasn't a dress one should wear if they expected to be complimented on their looks but it was comfortable and warm on the chilly evenings. As soon as I could leave dinner with the Duke and Duchess I was going for a ride. I'd been in Tashbaan's crowded village and streets for a week now and I wished to ride out as far as the beach and taste the salty wind on my lips.

I could at least have that one pleasure for I suspected my time here was drawing to a close. Caspian's playful jibe at me in the stable came to mind. _"You're too curious to leave without knowing." _He was going to tell me the one thing he'd change about me. And I'd promised that I would tell him what I thought of him.

In truth Caspian hadn't left without giving me something first. I suspected it had been when he'd asked me to see what had happened to the others and he'd grasped my shoulders for a moment, leaning close enough for me to see the gold in his eyes.

The necklace he'd given me weeks before, the night of my ball, I'd found in my pocket later on after the battle. I held the diamond pendant in my palm for a second, closing my eyes tightly to keep a tear from escaping.

_Why aren't you back by now? _

Could something have happened to him? I bit my lip, and as usual when that particular logic crossed my mind, I shoved it as far away as I could. My eyes flew open and I unclenched my fist, fastening the necklace on like I had every morning this week.

_Aslan, I pray he's safe and with you. _

I walked to the mirror beside the bed in my borrowed room and surveyed my image. My hair was pulled back rather tightly, Elle's doing, and I reached to jerk it down, letting my brown hair fall in waves just past my shoulders. _There. _The hairstyle just hadn't matched the dress.

I liked the way I looked then. It was something I would have worn dancing under the stars in the Golden Age.

Satisfied with my appearance I met my own eyes in the mirror and tried to define their expression. I looked different. Older maybe. Wiser. And one other thing that made me jerk my head away in frustration. Love.

Sighing, I left my place in front of the mirror and knelt heavily in front of a window, tilting my face just so to let the sun reach my skin. I savored the golden touch. So many things had happened in so short a time.

Susan's betrayal, when I thought of it, weighed heavy on my shoulders. Peter's health, with my cordial was healing. He wasn't completely better, but he was getting there. Mostly he'd been sleeping and resting. I hadn't gotten to speak with him at all for that reason.

That was also the reason I jumped up so fast when a voice spoke from behind me. "Mind if I come in?" I shifted around so quickly I stumbled on the hem of my dress.

"Peter!" I exclaimed. Our eyes met for a moment and I registered the same old Peter he'd once been, surfacing there. The first grin I'd had in a week graced my lips broadly and I launched myself into his arms.

His arms held me tightly for a moment before he pulled away long enough to speak.

"Why do I have the feeling I've missed a great deal?"

I laughed with relief in my voice. "It only matters that you're well again." I hugged him tightly once more. "I thought I was too late for you Peter, I thought that-"

Peter's crushing hug cut me off. "You saved my life little Lucy." It was one of the few times I'd ever heard Peter's voice tight with emotion. He coughed abruptly and said. "I heard you were invited to dinner and thought I might come along. I'm rather starving."

I grinned at him and raised a brow. "You're inviting yourself? Now I know you're feeling better."

He smiled back but it gradually fell into a little frown. "Ed and Su aren't here are they?" The confusion he felt was reasonable but I cringed visibly at mention of Susan. I hadn't really wanted to start our conversation with 'oh, do you know that you were tortured and nearly killed by your own sister?'

Peter wasn't blind to my wince and shot me a concerned look. "What's the matter? Are they hurt?"

I shook my head vehemently. "No, not hurt. They're not here." That was true. I had no idea where Susan was now. I wasn't sure I wanted to know.

"You do know that you'll have to explain that look eventually, Lu?" Peter replied firmly. "But right now I'm too hungry to worry so much about it."

Thank goodness, I had an hour or so and if I could slip away to ride afterwards, I might be able to postpone telling him everything until tomorrow.

_I hope. _

"Tell me Lu, where is Caspian?"

Peter's question made me wrinkle my nose with displeasure. "It's a long story."

_And this is going to be an even longer dinner._

~X~X~X~

Dinner wasn't horrible and I was thankful for the familiar faces that surrounded me. Peter, of course. Thomas. Elle. Her daughter. Drinian. Caspian's head of guard, soldiers alike. And Trumpkin had somehow found a way in and I had him on one side whilst Thomas was on the other.

I hadn't seen my Dear Little Friend it seemed, in so long. Though we'd spoken shortly after I'd arrived in Narnia, I had hardly seen him since. I gave the dwarf a hug before I sat.

"I've missed you, my dear little friend." I smiled warmly.

The dwarf was red in his deep, weathered face and looked bashful as he said. "I hope you took this old dwarf's advice, Queen Lucy."

Ah, yes. His advice on Caspian. "I did." I admitted softly, but he must have seen the confusion in my eyes for next he asked.

"What has happened between the two of you since?" From anyone else it might have felt an impertinent question but the dwarf only looked concerned for me.

I raised a shoulder lightly. "You know he's still gone?" How could he not know, everyone from here to the outer corners of Archenland probably knew by now. Perhaps that was an exaggeration but...I wasn't in the mood for any more logic.

The dwarf finished the food he'd been chewing before answering me.

"You shouldn't trouble yourself, Queen Lucy. Aslan works in strange ways," He gave me a wistful look. "I've learned that firsthand. Since he's still gone there's no doubt a good reason for it." The dwarf touched my hand that hadn't stirred to pick up my fork yet and gave it a pat of comfort. "For now all we can do is wait. His Majesty will be back when Aslan deems ready."

I smiled wanly. "As always, you've made more sense than I have in a week. Thank you my dear little friend."

Someone cleared their throat and caused me to look up. Our hostess, the Duchess gave me a pointed look. "Perhaps Queen Lucy would like to share what she and the dwarf discuss so seriously?"

I nearly rolled my eyes at the woman. Of course I hadn't been paying as much attention as I should have, but still...

"I haven't seen Dear Trumpkin in so long that I'm afraid we were going on about the first thing that just came to mind. Nothing important." I said, hoping I sounded perfectly believable. I wasn't going to bring Caspian into the conversation.

"Oh," The Duchess didn't quite pout, for that would have been unseemly, but she came close. She had been hoping for some sort of gossip to talk about. "I see." Her eyes passed Peter who was still eating like he hadn't in weeks. Which he hadn't. Her question to him went unnoticed by me as the dinner wore on.

Even when we'd moved on from dinner and she invited us for a bit of merriment and dancing, my mind wasn't focused on any of it. Thomas offered me a dance and we went around a few times until Trumpkin and a few other young men asked for a dance each. My patience was frayed thin by the time another hand landed on my shoulder and I swung around to refuse them until I saw it was my brother, Peter.

With quizzical eyes, I accepted his hand and let him lead me around the floor once before he asked.

"Are you as bored as I am?"

I shot a look around to make sure no one could hear me when I said. "You've no idea."

My brother flashed a boyishly, daring grin. "Then let's go."

I didn't protest when he grabbed my wrist and we started edging towards the door. Halfway through the crowd he hissed. "There's a door out the back of this room. Meet me there as soon as you can. Without being suspicious."

"What-" He was already gone. _Well then. _

Shrugging I followed his instructions and made my way around carefully, so as not to attract any more attention. When I reached the door, I paused before going through, peering back at the crowd. I blinked in surprise when I spotted Thomas. He was dancing rather slowly with a young woman and he was laughing! I smiled to myself and slipped on out the door then.

I didn't feel so bad for leaving as I was now.

~X~

Minutes later Peter and I were mounted and riding away from Tashbaan. I'd insisted that we make a quick stop. There was no way I was leaving without my swords and now returned daggers. And since I didn't know how long we would be, I packed some food for us, filling our water flasks fully.

I was on Dannsair and Peter was on Destrier. I was still giving poor Sparrow a rest. The name I had in mind for him I had yet to reveal to anyone. If I was honest, I knew I was waiting, waiting because I wanted Caspian to be there. He'd been the one to suggest my helping the horse in the first place.

Such were my thoughts as we loped easily through the woods and on towards the beach.

It wasn't too long before the land beneath us turned to white sand and the sea's salty breeze brushed us like a kiss.

"You'll tell me when you're ready won't you?" Peter's quiet question startled me from breathing deeply of the sea.

"I don't think I'll ever be ready." I replied softly, my words more true than he knew.

Peter was silent, contemplating my answer for a bit before prodding me lightly with the words, "We've a ways to Cair yet."

I dropped my gaze to my hands on Dannsair's withers. "Okay."

If it was that hard to say that one word I didn't want to know how hard it would be to tell Peter that our sister was...dead. Not physically, no. But gone nonetheless.

_Dead._

~X~X~X~

Peter had been silent for a little while now and I knew he was seething inside. We had reached the bottom of the rock cliff and at the top was a partially built and partially destroyed Cair Pairavel. Peter's head was tilted back as he studied the castle more slowly than anyone else would have.

When he touched Destrier with his heels, the horse trotted ahead and I knew Peter wanted to look at Cair Pairavel up close. I had told him of Caspian's current project of rebuilding it.

I started to follow, but Peter halted long enough to say. "Why don't you stay right here Lu and I'll be back in a minute? We can eat when I get back, I won't be long."

He wanted to be alone.

I bit the inside of my cheek, but relented. I knew he would be okay but I suspected that after everything I had told him he probably needed a moment to let it sink in, to accept it. I hated that I had to tell him. That it had to be true.

I dismounted Dannsair's back but didn't get out the food I'd packed yet. I wanted to walk along the beach alone for a minute too.

"Dannsair?" I started.

"Absolutely not." She replied adamantly and then added, "Whatever it is."

I smiled halfheartedly; I could always count on Dannsair for her dry humor. "I was just going to say that I'm going to walk along the beach for a minute."

"Oh." The golden horse's ears flicked disdainfully. "I just walked all the way from Tashbaan so if you don't mind terribly, I'll stand here and munch, thank you very much."

"Perfect." I answered. "I wanted to think for a bit. Let me know if Peter comes back."

Dannsair didn't reply as she was already knee deep in lush grass and I didn't bother disturbing her to make sure she heard.

Not very far into my walk I bounced on one foot and then the other to pull off my shoes. That way I could let the surf wash over my feet. My head was angled at the horizon and I looked unseeingly into the water as my first day in Calormen played out before my eyes.

Caspian's sleek form diving from the Dawn Treader and swimming to shore. His muscled arms bringing him to shore with swift strokes and then our eyes meeting on shore.

I came to a stop and glanced backwards to find I'd gone far enough that I was out of sight of Dannsair. I didn't turn back though. No, I went on.

My bare feet made a slapping sound against the soft sand as surf sprayed me. I didn't mind getting my dress wet and I splashed in up to my knees, my green dress floating around me.

_Just like the night of the ball. _I could almost imagine him staring at me with his dark eyes, angry and intense.

Something made my head jerk up all of a sudden. I caught my breath as I saw a man running my way down the beach. I stiffened in place. Afraid to hope. _Caspian? _

But it was him. I knew it was.

My feet broke into a run as surely as a horse's hooves galloped and the young man became close enough to make out. I skipped as I ran, a smile coming over my face that I had no power or inkling to stop.

He didn't slow until we were about ten feet from each other. I didn't even care if it was perhaps childish of me, but I ran into his arms. He caught me, pulling me to his bare chest tightly. I hugged him fiercely, wanting more than anything to give him a kiss.

His head rested on top of mine and I could feel his chest rise with a breath as he inhaled deeply. "Lucy."

Only he could say my name in a way that made me shiver with delight. "Caspian." With his arms around me, I leaned back so I could gaze up at him. Tears assaulted my vision and I blinked to clear them, I didn't want tears to ruin this moment.

I studied him, his pants only a little dirty and torn and his shirt, which must have been torn and bloody had been discarded, affording me a very broad chest to look at. His dark hair was loose and tangled, his face held a few scratches.

He had never looked more perfect in my eyes.

My eyes wandered back up to look into his golden eyes. I found him watching me as I studied him. My cheeks burned as his lips curved teasingly into a smile. I reached out and let my fingers touch his cheek, the little spot at the corner of his lips as he smiled.

"Lucy." His voice changed and he sounded insistent all of a sudden. _Insistent of what? _

I halted, letting my hand drop and before I could speak, think of anything to say, or object to it, his mouth landed on mine. That kiss took me by surprise and I found that I kept my eyes open in shock. His hands were on my cheeks, gently holding me.

I definitely wasn't going to object his kiss at the moment. My irritation and fear were temporarily forgotten as he deepened the kiss, letting his warm lips move slightly upon my own.

His heartbeat pounded a wild rhythm against my fingertips.

_No objections._

_No interruptions._

_No-_

"Lucy!" I jerked away from Caspian as if I'd been slapped. Caspian looked equally surprised, though I wasn't sure if it was my reaction or another person showing up, that made him frown.

"Who was-?"

"Lucy, where are you?" Peter's voice rang out from just around the gradual curve of beach and I took a comfortable step away from Caspian.

As much as I had wanted Caspian to return, Peter's appearance was not something I'd counted on, or his opinion. _What would he have thought if he'd seen me...kissing Caspian so, boldly? _I grimaced, trying to will the hot blush from my cheeks and the sweet taste from my lips.

Peter, Destrier and Dannsair were coming our way.

I peeked a look at Caspian. _Blast, how can he be so calm? _He smiled down at me deeply; there was a wicked sparkle in their dark depths. "You didn't tell me your brother was here."

I elbowed him, hard. "Stop smiling like that."

Caspian slipped his arm around my shoulders like an old friend might do, but the gentle, teasing squeeze he gave me was most certainly not.

When the threesome had reached us Peter cast me a curious smile but reached to catch Caspian's hand in a firm shake. I stepped from Caspian's warm embrace before my red face gave Peter any indication of what had happened only moments before.

"Caspian." Peter greeted the young king.

Caspian returned the greeting heartily. "Peter. Good to see you well again."

Almost immediately the two fell silent and I could see Peter glancing at me sideways. When Caspian turned to give Destrier a slap on the neck, Peter leaned over and hissed in my ear.

"What was that all about Lucy?"

I shrugged quickly. "What do you mean?" I asked innocently and inside I added. _Whatever you're thinking, it's wrong! _

"Are we going back to Tashbaan?" Caspian questioned, reminding me that he'd been gone an entire week and wouldn't know what all had happened.

Peter answered before I could. "Yes, of course." He looked at me. "You want to ride with me Lu?" He offered and I almost accepted just to keep the peace.

"No," I managed to say calmly, was absolutely no reason riding with Caspian had to be...awkward. "Destrier's larger and can carry two people more easily." Like she knew my actual thoughts, Dannsair snorted on what sounded like a laugh and I shot a glare her way to quiet her before Peter noticed.

I ignored the smile on Caspian's face and the odd one on Peter's as Caspian offered me his hand, pulling me up in front of him.

Peter was already on Dannsair when he tossed me another strange look and replied. "Suit yourself."

My thoughts as we rode back towards Tashbaan? I had only one that wasn't related to Caspian and that unexpected kiss.

_This isn't going to end well. _

~X~X~

On the way back to Tashbaan I wasn't the first one to broach the subject of Caspian's disappearance, surprisingly. I was content for the moment to lean back lightly on Caspian and rest as he rested one hand on my waist softly.

"So where exactly have you been gone too, Caspian?" Peter said abruptly and I looked to see him quizzically watching me and not Caspian.

Perhaps I was a bit too comfortable with Caspian?

I felt Caspian stiffen behind me, which was unusual for him. Normally he kept whatever he was thinking hidden more carefully.

I tilted my head back so I could peer back at Caspian behind me without turning around. Caspian's dark eyes glistened with a sparkle of amusement at me before he answered Peter.

"I'd something to be taken care of." His cryptic response took both Peter and me by surprise.

"What do you mean?" I questioned, turning halfway around to look at him anyway. When I asked the question it brought to mind all the fear and worry I'd felt this past week about him, that with one kiss, he'd made flee from my mind. He'd come back, but he wasn't going to tell why he'd been gone?

Caspian answered me, his lips brushing my ear. "I can't speak of it right now." And so Peter could hear. "All in good time, Peter."

Peter peered at Caspian in the evening darkness and I wondered if he was as dissatisfied with Caspian's answer as I was. But Peter didn't press him for a real answer and I scowled at Destrier's ears. _Men. _

Peter and Caspian discussed Cair Pairavel and its rebuilding. Noticeably avoiding any of the more serious subjects that I'd explained to Peter earlier.

The two things I wasn't unaware of was the protective feeling I was getting from Caspian's stiff countenance behind me, and the obvious watchfulness of Peter's eyes all the while we were riding.

_He suspects something. _

_**Terrible ending, huh? Lol. Let me know what you think.**_

_**Also, I am working on the next REAL chapter of Never Doubt This and am hoping it will be up soon. (Maybe this one will hold you off until then. ^^)**_

_**Oh, one more thing. I've written 3 one-shots recently. 2 of them are Lucian (Their Shared Kiss and Everything But Me) Please go read them and tell me what you think! I'm really proud of them bc I wrote Their Shared Kiss in 3rd person POV and it was my first try at actually writing it. Everything But Me is a partial songfic and I love it bc...well, I just do. It was my first time writing from a guy's POV! (Caspian!) **_

_**The other story is a sibling fic between Peter and Lucy. (Made It Home) It's sad, but I got inspired by this song and just had to write it down. This one is also in 3rd person! **_

_**So if you like my writing/s, try em out and let me know how my writing is from 3rd person and a guy's POV...lol**_

_**Until then,**_

_**~Kat**_


	21. How Did We Come To This

_**This chapter actually took far less long getting up than I thought it would. Because. I got a laptop for Christmas! And it's awesome! Anyway…we are still coming to a close on this story. Maybe two more chapters, I think. (But I could be wrong) **_

_**I want to thank all the people that have reviewed/read Never Doubt This. Sure, I would've kept writing had nobody reviewed, but it makes me happy that a bunch of people like my stories and ideas.**_

_**So I want everyone who reads my story to do me a BIG favor (or not really that big, but you get where I'm going) **__**I want every person who reads my story to review the very last chapter whenever I put it up. **__**Whether you have an account on here or not. Even if your English is bad and you're worried, I don't care! I don't even care if you write your review in another language, as long as it's not too long. (Hey, it's not the first time I've googled a different language.) **_

_**I would love to hear from every one of you out there in well…Ireland, France, Belgium and the hundred other places I see on my fanfiction story page. You've been reading my story and hearing from me, so now I want to hear what y'all have to say.**_

_**Could you do that for me? **_

_**Oh and I hope you all had a very Merry Christmas and have a Happy New Year!**_

_**~X~X~X~**_

_**Chapter 20- How Did We Come To This?**_

I stiffened in surprise and my mouth was slightly ajar as I gazed at my brother, Edmund, and my cousin, Eustace.  
>Between them, like a ray of pure, golden sunlight was Aslan, His mighty head raised and I could have sworn his amber eyes were on me, asking me to come to His side.<p>

"Caspian?" I asked quietly. "Who do I need to speak with?" I suddenly had an uneasy feeling. What is it that Caspian meant exactly?

Caspian shifted backwards, giving me room to slip off Destrier's back. "Aslan wishes to speak with you Lucy. Go to Him."

As I slipped from Destrier's back I looked back up at Caspian worriedly. "Caspian, what is it?"

Caspian glanced down at me for a brief moment but his eyes were cool, his posture stiff, and his jaw tense. "Go on Lu, I'll see you back in Tashbaan."

"Tashbaan?" I exclaimed. Are you not even going to wait for me? Irritation rose inside, born mostly of hurt and I took a step back from Destrier and Caspian both.

Caspian didn't acknowledge my slightly raised voice. "It'll be alright Lu." He tried to ease my fear.

I shook my head lightly and turned to leave without another word.

"Lucy." Caspian stopped me by saying my name and when I looked at him again I saw his eyes were warmer than they had seemed a moment before. "Don't be angry with me."

I almost didn't reply at first, but took a quick step towards him so I could whisper. "I think it's too late for that." And then I turned and walked calmly to Aslan's side where my brother and cousin were standing, Peter by their side already.

"Lucy!" Edmund said, his grin wide and I couldn't help but smile back. I ran to my brother and threw my arms around both Peter and Edmund at once. For a moment I just hugged them tightly, breathing deeply and closing my eyes.

_My dear brothers, both of you. _

Tears pricked my eyes and I just stood still, hugging the two tightly until someone cleared their throat and I raised my head to see Eustace watching us with a feigned hurt expression.

"Was I unmissed cousin?" He asked.

I smiled at my cousin and caught him in a hug as well. "Of course not, Eustace!" I could hear my brothers laughing at Eustace's expression as he pulled away, the show of feelings embarrassing him.

"Dear One." Aslan's voice made me turn, releasing my brothers and cousin.

"Yes, Aslan?" I asked a small wrinkle in my brow. _What had Caspian so tense? _

"Come with me." The great Lion ordered, his fierce eyes giving me no guess as to what was going on.

I frowned a little, but didn't hesitate in stepping away from my brother's and cousin to follow the Lion. When I was at his shoulder I glanced back at my brothers questioningly.  
>"Aslan, are Peter and Edmund coming too?"<p>

The Lion had turned by then and stopped, waiting for me. "You will see your brothers in a while my child. Come now, we've much to discuss."

I frowned slightly but went on, following the Lion. I only paused when Eustace came trotting up to my side and grasped my shoulder lightly. "Lucy, you needn't worry. I've-"

I peered at my cousin's eyes and the crease in his noble brow. "What is it Eustace?"

My cousin hesitated but for a second before tightening his hold on my shoulder and looking back at me not harshly, but with a firmness that caught me by surprise. "Choose wisely my cousin." And then he released my arm and nodded at me to go on.

My frown further deepened but I walked back to Aslan's side and followed Him back towards Cair Pairavel.

~X~X~X~

We walked in silence. The Great Lion and I.

It was soothing to just be in His presence for me and I felt my unease at Caspian and Eustace's behavior fall away from me like I was shedding a woolen coat.  
>I found my eyes wandering over the sea for a few moments and breathing deeply of the sweet air. Then my eyes went on to the thinner parts of the forest we bordered and to the very top of Cair Pairavel. I stopped on it.<p>

_I wish I could stay and help with the rebuilding_. It was a thought that was as unexpected as it was true. I couldn't stay. I wasn't supposed to be here in the first place. _Aslan doesn't make mistakes._ That was something I knew for certain, without doubt.

So why was I here?

"You need only ask, Lucy."

I jerked from my silent reverie and looked to the Lion. "I just wonder Aslan." I whispered, for it felt as if the question I wanted to ask would be almost disrespectful in a way.

Aslan veered away from the beach and we were headed into the forest surrounding Cair. "One has sacrificed a great deal for you, my child."

Startled, I asked. "Who has sacrificed what?" Caspian's behavior came to mind and I found my head spinning with possibilities in confusion.

"That is something he will have to tell you, if he chooses." Aslan replied gently. "But the choice he has made and the destiny he's chosen to sacrifice gives you a choice."

Deeply puzzled, I asked another question. "What choice do I have?"

"To have what you desire. To stay here." The Lion's words made me gasp aloud and I stopped dead in the middle of the woods to gaze openly at Him.

"But how can it be?" I questioned. "Even when-" I shook my head to the side, unable to finish my sentence.

"The destiny he chooses to forsake will be upon your shoulders and the consequences, your own to be dealt with as you choose." Aslan answered and I grimaced slightly as He went on. His deep voice became stern and gentle at the same time. "But if you do choose to stay, let it be known that your path isn't an easy one. The Witch you and your siblings fought together has only left for a time, her wickedness will return upon Narnia, her soul more full of hatred than before."

I bit the inside of my lip tightly at these words. _Not an easy path. His destiny will become my own. Who's destiny? _And the White Witch...her deceitfulness will come again.

"Look upon my face Lucy." The Great Lion commanded and I did as He said. Majesty is what I beheld and I found that I could not look away. I didn't want to.  
>"Your sister's betrayal was long foretold, the evil she nurtured within the woman Annabella was destroyed. But there is one who lives on in darkness; the creature's sister is not yet upon Narnia. Do not make the mistake of thinking she will not try to avenge her sister's death. Her presence in Narnia will bring a greater evil than the one you have already faced." Here, Aslan paused and I asked.<p>

"And what will happen if I choose to stay?" I felt a shiver of dread inside, but raised my chin with determination in the path I wanted to choose.

"You must _**never doubt this**_. _**Never doubt that I will be there, even when you cannot see me. You have belief. I will never forsake you, my child." **_

Aslan's answer made my eyes fill with tears and I closed them, stepping forward blindly to wrap my arms around the Lion's neck. "I won't doubt you Aslan." I whispered, letting my tears fall on His tawny hair. _Not again. _

After a moment I pulled away, there was something that I had to know. "Is- Was Susan killed?"

"Your sister's soul lives on in your world, Lucy. Because of her wrongdoing she was cast out of Narnia forever."

I winced, despite that I'd sworn Susan off as being my sister, I still couldn't help holding onto the young woman she'd once been. "Is there nothing I can do to help her then? In our world?" I murmured softly.

"Do not blame yourself Lucy. Your sister has chosen her path just as you must choose yours, when she chose to believe in the love of human and not in that greater than her own, she no longer thought she had need of me. She lost hope."

It felt as if someone had twisted my heart in my chest. "Aslan why does she despise me now? Is it because of what I said? That she didn't deserve Caspian?" Tears nearly fell down my cheeks once more, but I forced them back. "I cannot..." My voice broke. "If she despises me because of that...I cannot..."

"Dear one," I could feel the Lion's soft hair brush my arm. "Your sister does not hate you, only the love you hold in your heart, the joy you have come to feel in knowing me."

I blinked quickly, my eyes burning. "But her hatred of...everyone? Peter? What happened to turn her against her own brother so much?" My mind was churning now, suddenly becoming all too aware of the ramifications that my decisions and everything that had happened were causing. "Will she hold that hate for our brothers back in England?" _How can they go on living as they have after she poisoned Peter_? I answered my own question. _They can't._

"Dear Lucy," Aslan's eyes were dark with sorrow. "Your sister hurt her own flesh and blood  
>to try and seek that which she could not find. To get what she learned she couldn't quite touch anymore. To hurt you for having what she couldn't find anymore."<p>

A deep frown curved my lips and I stared down to the forest's floor. "I am sorry Aslan." I said, unsure of what, in particular, I was sorry for. Perhaps because, at that moment, I felt a little bit sorry for everything.  
>Like the weight of everything suddenly decided to come back to me I found myself weak and slid to the emerald covered forest floor. Warmth enveloped me, a tender embrace that made my heart lighter.<p>

"You know you are forgiven my Daughter, you've only to forgive yourself."

On my knees kneeling, I opened eyes I didn't know I'd closed and raised my face to Aslan who stood over me as if I were a lamb. His lamb. Safe. The safe I had felt in Caspian's arms was indeed a great thing, but this, this was something different. Something that made the many tears I hadn't shed fall down my cheeks with as much sorrow as joy.

For the longest moment I stayed there. My upturned face gazing upon something so wonderful, something I wished I could show the whole world. Something I wished I could show my sister. Rays of sunshine shone through the canopy of greenery to make the Lion seem as if He were shining with the purest light imaginable.

I thought perhaps He was.

Awe was a simple word that could partly describe what I felt in my heart.

_How can one who's seen this not believe?_ _How could one look upon what is perfect and still doubt? _

The tiniest of smiles graced my lips and then grew, turning into a grin. A laugh tickled the back of my throat and I found that I couldn't have held back the giggle even if I'd wanted to. My giggle turned into a laugh, one that made me toss back my head even further and hold my arm against my stomach.  
>I realized something then. I had finally forgiven myself and accepted the forgiveness Aslan had given me. What I felt was joyous.<p>

Joy.

"Thank you Aslan. I love you with all my heart." _Nothing will ever change that._ I said when I could speak again.

~X~X~X~

A long while later we were nearing Tashbaan. So many things I'd asked and so many things I had to choose, but right then I didn't let anything bother me. A constant smile graced my lips and had for hours.

My body swayed with the smooth, gentle movements of the Great Lion that I felt honored just to ride upon. There was but one thing I hadn't asked yet.

"Aslan, is my love for Caspian wrong?"

"The love you have for him is only that from your heart, my child. You cannot fault yourself for the love you have, and that which you wish to give. It is only wrong if you choose to love what will pass away with time, more than you love the One who you were born into the world to serve." Was His reply and I thought about the words deeply.

As much as I loved and had come to love Caspian, I could not love him more than I loved Aslan. I didn't believe it possible. Aslan's love was greater than ours put together, my love for Caspian was great, my love for Aslan greater.

_I think I understand. _

I looked up to find we were outside Tashbaan's city gates and still I smiled, though this time a little bitter sweetly. Simply because now I had to make my choice.

I slipped from Aslan's back and turned to face Him. "Will my brothers, cousin and Susan be alright back in England?" This was something I had to know. I had to make sure my family would be safe before I made my choice. "And Mum and Dad? What will happen to them if I choose to stay here?"

The Lion's warm breath touched my cheeks comfortingly. "Your brothers' and cousin's future is assured in England. Your sister will choose to flee from the life she's made herself."

I sighed deeply. "And Mum and Daddy?"

"They will be well, living deep into their old age." Aslan answered. "Through you and your brothers they have already come to know me as I am in that world."

"And what about me?" I whispered quietly. "What will they say if I don't come back?"

"That, my child, will be you and your brother's decision. If you've chosen to stay." Aslan replied in the deep, comforting voice I'd come to know.

"You know what I've chosen, don't you Aslan?" I asked inquisitively.  
>Aslan didn't answer me directly, but I sensed in my heart that He did know. "Can I ask of you one thing?"<p>

_Don't let Peter leave and go back to war when he's back in England_. I didn't ask this question aloud, but Aslan knew.

"You brother's will find that things have changed there." Aslan said steadily.

As steady as the lion was, I still gaped in surprise at what I was nearly certain He meant.

_The war is ending._

I closed my eyes with relief. _Oh, thank you._ "Thank you Aslan. I cannot thank you enough." I meant those words with every part of my being.

When I opened my eyes again, the magnificent Lion had gone.

_Always with you._ His promise echoed in my head for a moment and I looked back towards the forest, back in the direction of Cair Pairavel, and said.

"I know that now."

~X~X~X~

I approached Tashbaan's open gates and the guards that stood near, slowly. I was slow not because I was cautious, just in a deep reverie. Thinking about what I'd learned and asked.

_Susan will flee._ I wondered what exactly she would do, it was something I pondered only briefly, for I felt sure that if there was something I needed to know, Aslan would have spoken it to me. He'd already told me much about my sister and... The war.

I found myself smiling a secretive smile. The war was ending, that was something that had been long prayed for and the fact, the realization, that Peter wouldn't have to fight anymore was so great a burden lifted from my shoulders that there was almost a childlike lightness to my step.

I smiled at the guards who immediately bowed and said.

"Good day, Queen Lucy."

Even though I was still in a bloodied, torn and probably disgusting shirt and pants, I still swept my left foot back and bent it beneath me, nodding my head, in a graceful curtsey that, had I been in a dress, no one could have been able to fault.

"Good day. Tell me, have the rest returned yet?" I asked, hoping my sudden question didn't seem too rude.

The tallest of the three gestured past the gates. "They're making ready to leave for Calormen's castle. You are to leave tomorrow afternoon."

I blinked rapidly, the smile on my lips turning sour. "Why sir? Has something happened?"

One of the other men tried to steer my clear irritation from his companion. "His Majesty has given orders that the moment you arrive you are to be escorted back to your lodging. I apologize if I seem abrupt Your Majesty, but we must follow orders."

I nodded, not wanting to argue. There was one thing I did want to ask though. "Is there something else that I should be told? Am I in danger? Has King Caspian said as much?"

As we walked, two men on one side and one on the other one glanced at me in surprise." Oh, pardon, My Lady. It wasn't King Caspian that asked. It was your brother, High King Peter."

That particular response was unexpected and made me grimace. _So it starts sooner than I thought_. _He must suspect something of Caspian and me. _

As soon as we reached the mansion Caspian and I had been staying before I'd been kidnapped, I slipped around the men and said. "Thank you for the escort. I'll be fine from here."

I darted ahead and went up stone steps and through a large door, surprising a light headed man who was on the other side. I didn't stop to apologize, just slipped through the wide arch of the main hallway and went where I knew Elle might be.

If I had ever need of her ability to know what was going on around her, it was now.

But first I would be making a quick stop to my room for a change of clothes; there was no need to scare anyone off with my appearance.

~X~X~

When I found the kitchen I burst in without hesitation and scanned for the older woman. A rather wide eyed young girl stared at me, flushed and breathless. I realized I must have scared her and paused my rampage long enough to smile at her and say.

"I'm sorry; I didn't mean to come flying in at you like that. I don't suppose you've seen a woman named Elle have you?"

The little girl giggled then, covering her rosebud mouth with a small hand. "You are Queen Lucy aren't you?" I nodded my confirmation and she said. "She said you would come." The little girl reached out her hand, oblivious to my hurry. "Come, I will take you to her."

I followed the child; she was a curious thing, reminding me of Edwin. "Tell me, what is your name?" I asked.

"Melaina, Queen Lucy. But everyone calls me Laina. Or Mel. Queen Lucy you do not look as I thought you would." The girls eager friendliness made me grin pleasantly and temporarily put aside my nervousness.

"What is it you thought I would look like?" I laughed as the girl stopped and stuck her tongue out as if concentrating on me studiously. "Caspian calls you an angel. I didn't think angels were so dirty." The child halted and wrinkled her dainty nose. "I suppose I don't actually know though..."

The little girl stopped when I burst into laughter and blushed simultaneously. "No, I don't suppose angels look as I do. But then I'm not an angel, so I suppose it's okay that I don't look like one."

The child peered at me while tilting her sweet face. "If you are not an angel then why does Caspian call you one?"

My cheeks reddened further and Melaina giggled delightedly, clapping her hands. "Oh, I see! He fancies you!" The girl continued down the hallway and skipped cheerfully. "He fancies you! I knew it!"

I broke into a skip myself, hurrying after the girl to quiet her. "Shhh! Laina, Caspian does not fancy me." I tried to say sternly, I didn't know what Caspian actually felt for me. Even after he'd kissed me earlier. He had suddenly seemed distant right before Aslan, Edmund and Eustace had appeared. _And how is it that this child knows what Caspian calls me? Who is she?_

Melaina wasn't heeding my words though and only slowed to ask. "Will you be married and live happily ever after like the stories Caspian has told me before?"

_Married?_ I felt breathless at the idea and felt sure that my cheeks could not get any redder. But something about her sentence made me pause. "Melaina? Who is your mother?"

Melaina's cheerful smile slipped and I regretted my question instantly. She answered me anyway. "Her name was Elizabeth."

I sighed with relief, not sure what I'd been expecting exactly. "Would you mind if I asked where she is?"

The child suddenly smiled. "I don't mind if you ask, you are Caspian's angel so I won't mind telling you!"

_Caspian's angel_. I would be lying horribly if I said I did not like it, but where had it come from?_ Has Caspian truly said that? _

"She died a long time ago and Caspian let me stay in this mansion," Melaina twirled in a circle. "Mostly I used to stay in the palace in Calormen, but Caspian said that I had to come here a few months ago." The girl's rosebud lips pouted a little. "He could have at least allowed my cousin to come. We always have the most fun together!"

My head spun trying to follow Melaina's words. In Calormen, moved to Tashbaan a few months before. Cousin. That was what rang true in my head.

"What is your cousin's name?" I asked abruptly, to stop the girl's headlong dash into another seemingly breathless declaration.

"Oh!" Melaina stopped and gestured to the door as she said. "This is Elle's room and his name is Edwin!"

I blinked, only mildly startled. "Why did Caspian bring you here and not Edwin?"

Melaina shrugged small shoulders. "He would not tell me, but I overheard him and one of his men say that it was because of his mother."

"What?" I squawked rather loudly.

"His mother, Annabella." Melaina answered and I choked on my own spit, coughing harshly.

The girl stopped and patted my back with a tiny hand. "Are you okay, Queen Lucy?"

I nodded and swallowed hard before saying. "Who is Edwin's father then?"

"I'm not sure." Melaina answered readily, looking bored now. "I'm tired of talking about this. Will you ask me something exciting or tell me a story?" She fairly bounced up and down.

I smiled down at her kindly, though there was infinitely more confusion in my smile than cheerfulness. "Has Caspian truly called me his angel before?" Long forgotten was my haste to see Elle, I wanted to know if such a thing could be true.

"Oh." Melaina's emerald green eyes sparkled with mischief. "Yes, he didn't mean to I guess, but he was telling me a story one night and I pretended I'd fallen asleep." She grinned impishly, deep dimples in her cheeks. "And he called you an angel."

"Oh, that's...rather interesting." _So he called me an angel, not his angel?_ "What story did he tell you?" I asked and I wasn't feigning curiosity.

Melaina came to another stop though and asked. "Didn't you want to talk with Elle?"

I waved it off quickly. "It can wait," I reached to grasp the little girl's hand. "I want to hear about these stories Caspian's been telling you."

I led the little girl to the large Library and waited until we were both seated before asking.  
>"Tell me about these stories Melaina." I was greatly intrigued by this side of Caspian that I had only glimpsed, in a way.<p>

"Well," The girl stood and wandered around the room and I was prompted to follow curiously. "There was this one..." Melaina grinned. "About you that he said you saved your brother from a certain death."

Immediately I corrected that, it was pure instinct. "It was not me alone, but Aslan's power that saved us all."

"Caspian said the same," Melaina replied and darted off in another direction of the Library. "I want to tell you my favorite story, can I please Lucy?"

_Well, I'm most certainly not going to stop you_. "Of course Laina, tell me your favorite story."

The girl waited for no urging. "He told me of the day," She covered her mouth with a small hand and giggled. "You. Caspian said you rode as fiercely as a man on his black stallion! He said you were brave and loyal, a strong believer in the Great Lion, Aslan."

I smiled at the words Caspian had apparently spoken and said. "Go on. What's this story that he told you?"

"Well, he said that after many years the young Queen returned to the home she'd missed for so long. She and the King of the great land were reunited, as they'd known each other since she was but a child and he, a boy."

Melaina's voice grew faster as dove into the story wholeheartedly.

"But their happy reunion did not last long. A great danger was upon the Kingdom and the newfound feelings the King had only just discovered were pushed away and the young Queen likewise pushed away the blossoming love that had crept into her heart a few years before." Melaina drew a breath. "So the King and Queen set out on an adventure that would change the way both saw each other…"

I listened intently, leaning forward and propping my chin on my hand. The child told me of the King and Queen fighting great, winged beasts and a terrible creature with sharp fangs and a dozen heads. The child's amazement at Caspian's storytelling made me smile. _He really is good with children. _And Melaina wasn't done yet. She spoke of starry nights and of soaring through the skies on the backs of tame dragons, seemingly touching the silvery stars that lit a path for the two.

It was a while later that both Melaina and I sat across from each other, tea and cookies long gone before she began to near the end of the story.

"The King," She exclaimed, "knew she was in danger and ran between his Queen and the 12 headed beast that threatened harm upon her life!" He gazed upon the terror and spoke calmly, boldly. "You will not claim another life!"

The Queen, though frightened and weary, crept to her King's side and grasped his hand. "Flee Beast." She said quietly, but her voice seemed to echo all around them. "Give back what you've taken and your life will be spared this day."

"Never." Came the beast's hiss and with that one word he unleashed a great fury upon himself. The Lion that sprang forth from the forest towered over her, his feral eyes glinting fire.

"Be gone beast, you will not claim any souls this day." The Lion's voice was that of silver and all fine things, it held a quality of pure silk and ran as smoothly water, running slowly down a stream.

And his roar," Melaina paused, the images in my head racing fast as she spoke, her hands gesturing around. "Like that of the most beautiful and sacred music. Only those who believe could hear it. The creature was destroyed that day." I nodded vehemently and she went on.

"But always with the condemning promise to return. The King turned after the beast ceased to be among them, to look at his Queen. She lay on the ground, her pale skin a reflection of the beauty she beheld. She clutched her side in agony.

The King ran to her side, dropping to his knees and pulling her into his strong arms," Here, Melaina halted again and smiled. "This is one of my favorite parts…The King looked to the Great Lion, asking if her life would be spared and this is what he said.

"Her life is yet to be lived and her destiny is not yet been done, her life will be spared my son."

Minutes later Melaina had the King standing over the Queen's bed at midnight.

"She was still so pale," Melaina whispered, "The King leaned over and brushed her face with a strong, but tender hand, saying. "My Angel, My Queen, My Love."

I sighed along with the Queen in the story, which, if I was to understand correctly, was supposed to be me. _And Caspian. _That particular fact I was having trouble accepting.

"Then he sat beside her upon the bed and touched her still hand. Only a moment later, he watched as the Queen's eyes opened slowly and looked at him. She smiled at him and suddenly the King had no choice but to follow the desire he'd had for so long. "My dear Angel-" The love he wished to tell her and the kiss he wished to press upon her sweet lips in his eyes…" Melaina came to a stop, eyes wide and innocent.

Extraordinarily curious and with warm cheeks I leaned forward, almost falling from my chair. "Is this truly what Caspian told you? He calls me that?" Melaina still remained frozen and I was about to tell her to go on, when a voice behind me made me jump from my chair.

"Why don't you ask him?"

_Caspian._ I froze in horror and embarrassment, shooting Melaina a scathing look. To which she only grinned until Caspian said.

"Melaina, Elle asks for you to come get ready for supper." His tone was slightly reprimanding and the girl ducked her head in apology before racing from the room, her delighted laughter did not go unmissed by Caspian or me. It was a bit mocking.

I turned stiffly to the King that had haunted me for months now. _Aslan help me. _But where I should have been facing him, as I turned, I saw that Caspian was not there. I lifted my head and peered around the room to find he wasn't in it."

Startled, I bounded into motion and was out of the room in an instant.

Caspian was striding down the empty hall quickly and my brows knit together in confusion. "Caspian?" Something a lot like hurt rose in my chest and I darted down the hall after him. "Caspian, what's wrong?"

He came to a stop finally, but didn't turn to face me. "Nothing's wrong Lu, Peter wishes to see you once you've cleaned up. If you're not too tired, he wishes you to join us for supper."

I wanted to say a dozen different things to him right then and didn't say any of them, it left me feeling frustrated. _Why is he acting so strange now? _

"I'll see _Peter _at supper then." I replied coolly and turned on my heel to walk back to my room.

Only a moment had passed and my shoulders itched with the sensation to look back. I couldn't resist the sensation of someone watching me.

For a breath our eyes met.

Brown and Blue. A clash of…I wasn't sure what. Intensity.

We both glanced away at the same moment and I wondered if he regretted parting as we did. I shook the thought out of my head before continuing on.

_Whatever he's angry about, it'll have to wait. I've Peter to deal with for the moment._

~X~X~X~X~X~X~

As I entered my room I pushed the door closed behind me without looking back and listened to the latch click in place.

Then I peered about my borrowed room with hands on my hips, slowly.

Rich, red, carpet. Gold trimmed matching red drapes. The tall, dark wood canopied bed. Intricately carved, headboard with flowers and winding twirls. The armoire and bedside table were a matching dark, reddish wood and a single window overlooked the streets of Tashbaan and the many people that wandered there, either on some errand or laughing with friends.

I walked to that window and gazed down on the capital of Calormen. Perhaps I should have been happy, I wasn't sad though, just confused once more.

_What am I supposed to choose?_

I wanted to stay in Narnia, but I also wanted to stay with my family in England. How could I choose Narnia over my family? Because I'd fallen in love with Caspian?

I loved my cousin, brothers and parents. I couldn't just give them up, but then, I also couldn't just abandon the gift, the sacrifice someone had made for me to stay here. Or Caspian.

Thoughts of the handsome King's behavior flooded my mind. Only one stood out to me right then. _What if my presence causes more trouble? Not just for Caspian, but for all of Narnia? _

I growled in frustration right before a hand landed on my shoulder. I jumped and whirled about to see Edmund. He grinned widely, the same old Ed looking at me and it was a comfort, even though he'd almost scared the life out of me.

"What was that for?" I demanded, perching my hands on my hips again.

Edmund laughed broadly. "You must have been a long ways off to not have heard me knock."

I shoved at my brother teasingly. "Maybe you just didn't knock that loudly." Before he could respond to that I asked. "Did Peter send you up to fetch me?"

Putting his hands behind his head, Edmund flopped back on my bed comfortably. "More like I came to warn you." He cast me a wide eyed look. "I do have some questions though."

I smiled back halfheartedly. "I'd expect nothing less."

Ed sat back up. "About what? Me asking questions or Peter's unexplainable bad mood since we've returned to Tashbaan?"

I walked to the armoire and absentmindedly pulled out three dresses I'd be choosing from for dinner, whenever I had a bath.

And speaking of baths.

I looked down at myself, reminded that I still hadn't bathed since days and days before the battle. It was seven wonders Melaina or someone else hadn't pointed this out to me. "I rather need a bath, don't I?" I said, avoiding Edmund's question. It seemed the kind of question that would lead to another question I truly did not want to answer.

"I rather think you would," Ed replied in stride and then added nonchalantly. "You'll want to look your best for Thomas and Caspian, I'm sure."

I twirled about and tossed the three dresses onto the bed beside my brother. "Of course, you know I'm always trying to impress the young men." _Perhaps a bit more cynical than intended?_

Ed stared back at me with eyebrows raised. "Am I to assume that the same thing your irritated about is also what has Peter and Caspian in a snit?"

An unorthodox smile twisted my lips. "A snit?" I shook my head in amusement. "I can guess what Peter's annoyed about, Caspian, however, I cannot fathom." _And that's the truth. _

"Ah," My brother rubbed is hands together in anticipation enjoying this almost. "The plot thickens." He leaned back on my bed again and asked. "And what, Lu, has Peter in a mood?"

I sighed and turned to wash my hands in a clear bowl of water at the bedside. "I said I could guess." As I dried my hands, I started towards the door in search of bathwater until Ed grabbed my elbow and pulled me back readily.

"Not so fast Lucy. I think you need to tell me this entire story from beginning to end. From the night you and Susan had your fight." He clarified.

I grimaced in pain, almost as if he'd hit me. Susan's betrayal was like that. A slap to the face. I knew Ed deserved to know, as did Peter about Susan. I supposed that Peter might already know, Caspian might have told him.

"I will explain Ed, but right now I need to get ready for supper." It wasn't an excuse now, simply truth.

Ed stared at me doubtfully, and then said. "Only if you promise to meet me after supper and tell me everything."

"I promise to meet you after supper." I replied softly. _But I cannot promise to tell you everything._ Somehow I didn't think my brother would enjoy the moments Caspian and I had almost and shared a kiss, or a few.

Ed shot me a look as he stood. "In the study, downstairs."

I nodded in consent, but he still didn't leave me. He stopped in front of me and pulled me into a swift hug.

"I'm glad my baby sister is okay, Lu." Then he disappeared out the door, like he was being chased.

I watched his retreat before finally moving out the door in search for bathwater.

Meanwhile, I needed to bathe.

~X~X~X~X~

It was with a bit of unease that I walked downstairs. I was now clean and I had managed to brush my hair back smooth again, freeing it of many tangles. Now, I stood at the dining room door.

_Oh, give me strength Aslan. _

I had chosen my favorite of the three dresses, so I was now adorned in a silky soft dress that was a rich dark blue, it's only decoration the silver crossed stitching down the neckline and the braided hide belt looped at the waist. It wasn't a fancy dress, only one to provide comfort to the wearer.

Quickly, I raised my head to open the door. I'd dawdled long enough. I stepped into the room and looked up to face my brother. Immediately taking notice of the very few people that sat at the table.

_Peter wants it that way, no doubt._

Thomas, Eustace and Edmund were the only other one's there, aside from Caspian, who had already stood and was pulling out a chair at his right side. I nodded my thanks and stiffly sat, trying not to notice as his fingers brushed the nape of my neck when he pushed my chair back in place.

Peter was watching us I knew, so I tried very hard to make my face the picture of indifference.

All was silent until the food had been placed before us and he maids disappeared back into the kitchen. Then Peter asked.

"How are you Lu?"

I chewed my bite of buttered, sweet bread slowly and swallowed before answering. "Fine. How are you Peter?" I knew my answer was not what he wanted to hear, but I really did want to know how he was. Only a few day before I'd been fearful for his life.

"I'm fine as well. Lu."

It was Edmund, thankfully, that broke up this round of awkward pleasantries.

"So we're all fine, for Pete's sake just ask her what Aslan told her!" He called out.

I grinned a real smile. You could always count on Ed to speak his mind.

Peter's head shook in amusement too. "You only have to tell us if you want." He put in.

I raised a shoulder in reply, to hide my discomfort at the subject. There was quiet around me again and I knew they waited for me to speak. I raised my eyes to my friends and family and their expectant eyes.

"I had many questions to ask Him and He knew that."

Eustace spoke up and I looked to him as he asked. "And did you find the answers you wanted?"

Something clicked in my mind and I gasped inwardly. _Is he the one who made the sacrifice? _With my eyes I asked him that very question, but aloud I said. "Many were answered, but…"

"But what?" It was Caspian who asked and my eyes snapped to his.

"The greatest question I have is the one I must answer for myself." I knew they wanted to know more, to reveal everything I'd been told, especially about Susan.

I felt Peter prompting me to look at him, so I did. Despite his earlier comment that I didn't have to speak unless I wanted, I knew he wanted to know what had happened. He was curious and still obviously, the protective older brother.

"I think perhaps it is time to hear the whole story Lu, after that night back in England."

I did not protest his statement, because they did indeed need to know. And frankly, the story had grown so long by now that it would take hours to make them understand it all. "Perhaps it is."

"Then let us finish dinner and we'll talk." Caspian acknowledged firmly.

~X~X~X~X~X~

Nearly an hour later we all sat with hot chocolate in the Library of the mansion. The very room Melaina and I'd sat in as she told me her story. It was a grand room, the largest one in the mansion. Its hundreds of shelves were filled with books and scripts from years before and present day.

It was two floors as well, the bottom dedicated studies for anyone who wished to stay in here and the top floor darker, more for anyone who wanted to roam through the shelves, in search for nothing in particular.

The hot chocolate I held in one hand burned at my flesh and I winced, shifting it to the other hand. It had been compliments of Elle, who had the very same look both my brothers, Eustace, Caspian and Thomas all had. That they wanted to talk to me. She'd not asked or said as much, but I still promised myself that I would speak with her the following day. I would have plenty to discuss tonight with not one, but three Kings of Narnia. All of who had shown their temper from time to time. Two of which, were already irritated.

_I can't imagine them knowing everything is going to help the mood any. _

Peter and Caspian were standing on opposite sides of a table in the middle of the room, looking over a map. Edmund and Eustace were sprawled with their warm drinks in hand in chairs nearby, whilst Thomas was standing by the door as I entered.

I offered a tired smile to him that he returned, he followed me as I walked on and did not sit down. My legs were restless, too many nights of scarce sleep made me more tumultuous than tired. So I wandered to a bookshelf, sitting my cup down on a table I passed.

The smell of books would always be a comfort.

"Lucy." Thomas said.

"What is it?" I acknowledged without turning.

"I'm sorry for any trouble I cause you…" I shifted to take in Thomas' apologetic eyes.

"I don't blame you for any of this Thomas." Was all I had time to say before Peter called out.

"Lucy? Come sit with us please."

"That's alright. I'll stand for now." I refused politely, saying quietly to Thomas. "You might sit down though…" I didn't finish the thought, but Thomas understood my meaning. _Peter might interpret our talking over here as something more. _

"Good luck then Lu." He said and then moved to sit down where Edmund and Eustace were.

Peter didn't argue with me about standing. "Which of you is starting then?"

"I will," I replied determinedly, for that night in England is what made a lot of things start falling apart. And so, I started telling them everything, all up until I remembered something.

Susan's and my argument.

I tried to subtly slip over the rift between us like it had been nothing. I was halted of course, by Peter.

"What did the two of you quarrel about?"

"Different things. Narnia," I looked at Caspian and then to Peter, suddenly having an idea. _Why not shock them?_ "And men."

Silence. A very thick and impenetrable silence. Finally, I heard a chuckle coming from Edmund and Eustace's way. I peeked a look at them to find them trying not to laugh. A smile twitched at my own lips and I forced back a laugh.

"Go on." My eldest brother prompted me and my smile fell.

"That's it. It was nothing." I replied tightly.

Peter's chair squeaked loudly as he pushed it out of the way. "It wasn't nothing. Whatever she said to you had you upset enough to run away from the house in tears and what you said to her had her furious. How is that nothing Lucy?"

"Furious enough to slap me." I muttered angrily.

"What?" I jerked my head around as all five young men fairly snapped the word.

I hadn't meant to let the words slip. I'd just thought that they'd seen it. I remembered the looks on their faces. _I thought they saw her hit me. _From the looks I was receiving now, I guessed they had not.

"What did you just say Lu?" Edmund asked scarcely inaudibly.

I turned my back to them and walked further down the line of bookshelves. "You heard me." Was my only reply.

"But what is it you said to her that she did it?" Peter questioned. I could hear anger in his voice, though controlled.

It was not something I was proud of. And I did not want to tell them. "I'd rather not say."

Peter walked towards me, his steps echoing on the wooden floor and I faced his calm anger. "Tell us Lucy."

I slid my eyes from Peter to Caspian and said with equal calm. "I told her that she did not deserve Caspian."

I registered shock in Caspian's eyes before Edmund burst out. "Why?"

"Because," I said rigidly. "In one breath she said Thomas was too lowly a man for her and I wasn't good enough for him." I shifted where I stood. "That is all I am going to say about any of it. Let's move on."

None of the men questioned me again as I moved on, Caspian and I went on to switching back and forth explaining everything.

Then we came to the ball.

"What happened next?" Eustace asked, unaware of the dense question that hung in the air between Caspian and me.

"I was angry." I took over from Caspian. "Because he did not tell me he'd moved the ball. Since he'd been gone I snuck into Thomas' room." I stiffened, preparing for the outburst.

"Lu, please tell me nothing happened?" Peter's words were barely audible and meant only for me.

I blushed red. _Surely you think more of me than that? _"We only talked of a few things." That was only partly true, but I didn't want to tell him the rest.

"Caspian?" Peter appealed to the other King.

I met Caspian's gaze steadily. _Don't you dare. _I didn't have to speak for him to understand me.

He'd been quiet for too long though and Peter was moving in Caspian and Thomas' direction.

He addressed Caspian first. "You let my sister go into a man's room at night?"

"He was your friend Peter." I snapped the reminder. "Or are you ignoring the fact?"

My brother ignored me. "Tell me what happened." He growled out the words and Caspian's reply was a growl as well.

"I did not _let_ you sister do anything. She slipped out the window at night. I had guards posted everywhere and still she got out."

Peter's gaze was frigid. "Apparently not everywhere."

My anger rose at the two of them. "Caspian is not responsible for me Peter. I can take care of myself, or do you just choose to forget that since I let a man kiss me?" It was a challenge, one I hardly dared to utter.

"Lucy." Thomas said my name, telling me he would explain. That I didn't have to.

My words turned Peter's wrath away from Caspian for the moment. "You are a girl Lucy. You don't understand what-"

"No." I cut him off. "You wanted to hear what happened. I am not some foolish little girl. I do know." I took a breath. "Now are you going to listen or am I going to leave?"

Peter's face was cold as he told both Thomas and Caspian. "I want to speak with you both later."

Caspian chose to overlook this threat and said. "She isn't a child Peter," His eyes met mine, which I ignored. "Though, foolish is to be determined."

The events of the ball I described vividly, leaving nothing unsaid until I came to the part where I'd left and was walking along the beach.

I did not tell them I'd been dancing. Only one person knew what had happened that night and I wanted to keep it that way. I did tell them about our argument. I could feel the young King's eyes prodding me, daring me; it almost seemed to say something more.

"He was furious, we argued and finally," My cheeks felt hot and I saw a slight smirk on Caspian's lips. "Came to and _understanding_ for that moment." I had to pause and take a sip of my now cool drink. My face was very warm and I hoped no one could tell.

I then said very softly.

"The understanding we had was soon abandoned when he left later that night. With no word, nothing. And just as he broke his word, I broke mine." I leaned on the table and studied my oldest brother and the man I had come to love. "By the rainy dawn of the next morning, I was on their trail."

~X~X~X~X~

A few hours later we had come to the battle and I was tiredly sitting on a couch across the room from the table Caspian and Peter had been standing at and the others had come to join me. Caspian had been talking for a bit now and I found his deeply accented voice lulling me into a sleepy daze.

It was when he sat beside me and stopped speaking that I startled awake, blinking heavily.

"Maybe we should finish this in the morning?" He suggested and I nodded, somewhere in my sleepy stupor realizing why he'd suggested it. This was the point where my brothers and cousin would find out something that would change everything. And If I could grant them each one more good night's sleep…

Peter nodded surprisingly, relenting with the gesture and yawning broadly before saying. "Bright and early."

I stood up stretching stiffly, and yawned just as widely as Peter until Caspian poked me in the side gently. I pushed his hand away and smiled despite myself.

When I saw Peter eyeing the two of us I raised a brow at him. "What?"

Peter shook his head. "Nothing. I'll see you in the morning Lu."

Seeing the tiredness on my brother's face made me feel sorry for snapping at him earlier and I stepped over and slipped my arms around him in a quick hug. "Goodnight Peter."

My brother's arms tightened for a brief instant. "You want me to walk you to your room?" He asked and I started to refuse, cut off by Caspian who said.

"I'll make sure she gets there."

Now, whether or not it was just tiredness or not, I was unsure, but Caspian's eyes flashed with a bit of pride and I knew the reason why. Peter's earlier words about his watchfulness or lack of, over me. Caspian had been more protective than Peter could understand and if Peter's bluntness was going to cause Caspian to become more so…I groaned inwardly.

Peter glanced at me and I nodded. It was easier not to argue. "I don't need an escort, but if you insist on it, Caspian will do. You're too tired to walk upstairs to my room."

I could see the protest in Peter's eyes. "Don't." I stopped him. "Go to bed and I will see you in the morning."

Peter still didn't look convinced. Either way, he pinned Caspian with a hard look. "Make sure she is in her room." And to me, "I better not here of you stepping foot out of that room until tomorrow morning coming to see me."

With that warning he left and Edmund, Eustace and Thomas followed, echoing their goodnights as they passed by. Thomas was the only one who hesitated and watched me for a second. Whatever he wished to say, he didn't want to say before Caspian and shook his head before saying. "Goodnight Lucy." It wasn't hard to see the sudden tenseness in Caspian's body when Thomas used my name. _He's done it before. _I recalled.

Caspian and I were now left in silence. Not even a comfortable one, just one that made me think we were both thinking about earlier, when he'd interrupted Melaina's story.

"_Why don't you ask him?" _is what he'd said. _Why don't I? _I wondered, though the reason was simple.

"Are you coming Lu?" Caspian's accent cut through my thoughts and I faced him. I wasn't feeling quite so sleepy now.

"In a moment, I want to find something to read." I didn't expect a response from Caspian and wandered back towards the shelves, intent on going upstairs and exploring for a few moments.

"What did you have in mind?" Caspian asked, following me up the spiral stairs. He was beside me by the time I stepped foot on the top step. He looked down at me patiently.

"I'm not sure." I replied, my voice sounding unusually loud in the vast room. "Maybe something adventurous?" I said this thoughtfully, the story Caspian had told Melaina not far from my mind.

I wanted to know how it ended.

Caspian strode past me and I followed _his_ retreating back this time as he walked in between shelves and searched quietly. He knew where he was going, that, I could tell from how he walked. The moon shone through a large window overhead, lighting our way. Or his way, as he was the one who knew where he was going.

He came to a stop minutes later and his hand ran over the spines of the books slowly, coming to a stop on a single book and pulling it out. He presented it to me with a flourish and I reached to touch the book's old cover.

It was a faded green and Caspian's fingers covered the title, I pushed them away lightly, sucking in a sharp breath. '_A Tale Once Told' _

"Where did you get this?" I demanded. "I haven't seen it since…since I was younger in the Golden Age."

The book, you see, was a book of stories. Of Tales. Things that had happened that I didn't want to ever forget. So I'd written them down in a story journal.

Caspian's fingers drifted over the hand that held the book. "Someone found it years ago in the ruin of Cair. I found it in my father's study when I was little and he let me keep it."

I tried to think back, I leaned my body back against the sturdy bookshelf he'd taken my book from. I remembered a day; I'd laid my book down the very day we'd left Narnia on a chair in one of the secret rooms. "I laid it down the day we left Narnia the first time…" I opened eyes I hadn't realized I'd closed to find Caspian in front of me, studying my face intently, with curiosity, as if he wanted to know everything I was thinking.

Darkness surrounded us, save for the moonslight that slipped through overhead. I didn't move and neither did he, we stayed there for a moment. Looking at one another until Caspian whispered a question.

"Will you tell me how the last story ended if I tell you how Melaina's story ended?"

_His story._

My heart started a precarious racing beat. "What last story do you mean?"

"In the book. You started writing one story and it was like you were stopped or interrupted." He took the book from my hands and flipped it open to a page, a sign he'd read the book and knew it well.

"You've been reading it then?" I asked halfway teasingly and partly unsure. They had been written for me, for they held my honest thoughts and secrets. _What conclusion did he draw from my writing? _I pondered nervously.

I could feel his nod more than see it. "You write well, it captures the reader."

I squirmed uneasily at his unexpected praise, but in a happy way. I looked up at him again. "I can hardly remember the last story I was writing, what if I take it and read it tonight? I'll tell you about it tomorrow if I can remember, after our meeting with Peter." I suggested.

"And do you still want to hear the ending of my story now or wait until tomorrow?" Caspian asked softly.

"Why not now?" _Why not, indeed? _

Caspian's smile was dangerously close to a smirk when he dared ask. "Where did I interrupt?"

It dawned on me that he knew already, he just wanted me to say it. He was teasing me.

"The Queen is on her deathbed, the King touched her face and she opened her eyes." I pulled back suddenly as Caspian's fingers brushed at the hair at my temple.

"And what else?" He murmured sweetly.

"I don't know; that's where you interrupted." I prodded him in the arm playfully.

His smile was warm, if not a bit mischievous. The humor in his eyes made it hard to breathe evenly. "I'll show you what happened."

_Show? _My mind asked the question before my lips could.

"The King leaned and kissed His Queen's forehead." Caspian started, his lips grazed my forehead tenderly and my eyes closed at the touch, trying to fight the butterflies in my stomach.

"Then he said," Caspian pulled me tighter and let his fingers tickle at my neck before he finished his sentence. "You are everything to me; I cannot live any longer with you not knowing how much I love you." Caspian's breath caressed my face and I found myself wavering at being so near to him and hearing him say 'I love you', even if it was only a story.

I opened my eyes when Caspian said nothing more. "And what did she say?" I murmured, fully aware that our lips had gotten closer together sometime within the last few moments and were getting ever closer.

"She said in a hushed voice that she loved him."

_I love you, Caspian. _I longed to say.

"And finally," One of Caspian's arms went around my waist slowly and we were so close, the only thing that kept our lips from touching was the tilt of our heads. "His arm was around her and," He stopped and his eyes flicked from my eyes to my lips.

My chest rose with a shallow breath. "And?" I managed to ask.

Caspian's dark gaze was back on my blue eyes, his head tilted just so and his mouth came to touch mine. At the same moment his lips met mine I closed my eyes. Just as soon as the touch was becoming a kiss, suddenly Caspian pulled away, leaving me puzzled and lacking breath.

"Caspian?" I hissed into the silence.

Quiet met my question and I stepped forward towards his dark shape. "Caspian?"

"You need to be in bed, I told Peter I would make sure you were there." He answered abruptly. "Let's go."

His brusqueness puzzled me, just as much as his behavior had earlier today. "Tell me why you're angry. Why you were earlier." I said sharply, but quietly.

Caspian's sigh was heavy and his reply gruff when he denied my question. "I was not angry."

"You said there was someone I needed to speak to. You meant Aslan, but why? And if you're not angry then what?" I commanded roughly.

Caspian started down the stairs and I followed him quickly.

"Caspian, speak to me. Tell me the truth!"

He halted without turning to face me, so all I could see was his stiff, broad back. "I suppose I thought you might tell…_us._"His hesitation made me think he meant he'd thought I would tell him. "What Aslan said."

I didn't move to touch him. "You mean you."

Caspian began moving once more and was on the bottom floor of the Library in seconds.

"Was there something in particular I was supposed to tell you?" I called after him in confusion.

He swung about. "Perhaps."

"What then?" I found my voice rising slightly.

I could see frustration in his movements as he came towards me. "It is not my place to ask it of you, nor anyone else's. Only you can tell me if you wish to."

I could feel his anger from here. _Why can't he just tell me? _"Is that the only reason you're angry?" He didn't respond. "I could be angry at you, but I was so happy that you lived when even some of your men were ready to give you up for dead that I couldn't be."

"What reason do you have to be angry with me?" He asked with incredulity.

"What happened to you at the end of the battle Caspian?" The desperation I'd felt sank into my words, "You disappeared and when I found you again you were on the cliffs…though I still can't guess why. And after we fell from the cliffs, you acted upset and then you…" Why not be blunt? I was tired of hiding. "You _kissed _me, then, you acted angry again. What would you have me think now Caspian?"

"I followed her." Caspian's answer came as a surprise. "I followed her and…" Caspian refused to meet my gaze.

"And what?" I asked, almost pleadingly.

"And it's not something I wish to tell you Lucy." His voice tight with warning.

I walked forward and laid my hand on his arm, he pushed it away and angry tears rose in my eyes at the gesture. "You want me to tell you what Aslan said, and yet you still will not tell me the truth?"

"Why would you risk your life for me like that?" The King snapped demandingly.

I blinked, my lips curling a bit in consternation. "I- I-" I searched for an adequate reply. Something I'd read in England came to mind. "Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends." (John 15:13 KJV) I murmured before saying. "I read that once back in England." I hesitated for a second. "You were once my friend Caspian and I would give my life for you then and now, but sometimes I find myself wondering how it is that we've gotten so far from what we used to be?"

"Lucy," he groaned darkly. "You know we'll always be friends." His reply was that of a frustrated man.

"Always?" I wondered aloud, and without meaning to, that one word broke down a last wall that had stood between us.

He was facing me in a breath. "Do you really not understand Lucy?" He had a hold of one shoulder gently, looking down at me with a penetrating gaze.

I was the one giving an exasperated groan now. "I truly don't. I don't understand what I mean to you anymore. Am I to assume that your kiss with Susan meant more than with me? Is that what bothers you so? Because if it is, I can leave. I will leave and won't bring any more trouble to you or Narnia."

"Lucy." Caspian caught my wrist. "Stop, you're tired."

"No!" I jerked away. "I am tired, but you promised me something not so long ago and I want to know the truth."

"I don't want to be a temptation to you." He said hoarsely.

I froze in place. _What?_ If I could have spoken it aloud I would have.

Caspian went on though. "On the cliffs you said my name. I wasn't anywhere near you and you didn't see me when you first came atop the cliffs. It was like you were in a daze."

I swallowed hard, that moment had been terrifying. I really had thought that Caspian was the one before me and not Elle's daughter.

"It was because of me that you almost touched the demon." His words were gravelly.

"It wasn't you Caspian. What happened on the cliffs is complicated." I tried to come up with something he would believe. "Do remember the day you and Peter were tempted by the White Witch?" I didn't wait for his nod. "You overcame her, even though you were tempted. The same can be said of the cliffs. Aslan helped me overcome that which would have destroyed my soul."

Caspian made no sound for a long instant before asking. "What was it that tempted you Lucy?"

I gazed at his dark silhouette. _You. _It was a truth I did not want to admit, so I didn't. He understood my silent answer.

"Do you understand now?" He asked softly.

"No," I shook my head forcefully. "You are not that kind of a temptation for me. You are my greatest friend and the only reason the demon tried to convince me as she did is she knew how much you meant to me. It would be the same for Peter, Edmund or…"

"No!" Caspian's voice cracked, showing a side of him I'd never seen. A side of him that was bare, raw. "It's not the same."

I scowled at the King with a greater frustration than before. "Then what?" I partially shouted the words.

Caspian's finger's tightened on my wrist. "Peter is not the one who is in love with you!" He snapped, his voice a hiss, a harsh whisper.

And that's when I closed my eyes like I'd taken a hit. I had in one way. "Do you mean that?" My voice was as shaky as my legs and I was glad he still had a hold of my arm.

I could feel him move closer until he was directly in front of me. "Do you really not know Lucy?" He wondered.

Silently, I let my arms slip around him as one of his arms held me to him; I carefully rested my head upon his chest. I could not speak, so I listened to the violent beat of his heart, reaching to touch his loose shirt where it pounded so.

Tears fell from my eyes like raindrops from Heaven, ever so slowly.

"Lucy." Saying my name as he did, did nothing to help me control the overwhelmed feelings stirring in my soul.

"I'm," His unshaven skin touched my cheek as he kissed a tear that fell. "I didn't want to upset you."

"You didn't." I found my voice, stopping his apology. "You don't know how long I've wanted you to say…_that._"

Caspian's eyes shone dark gold with hope. "Then I am not wrong?" He questioned huskily.

_Wrong to assume that I love you? No. _

Without waiting for my answer, he said. "I want you to understand that I've only done what I have to protect you. I didn't want anything to happen to you. I've come to love you more than I should I suppose."

"And yet you still didn't protect me from the one thing I thought I needed it from the most." I whispered so softly that I scarcely heard my own words.

"What?" Caspian sounded unsure of himself. It was something so out of place on the usually confident King of Narnia.

"Loving the man I thought cared for my sister." I mumbled, carefully wrapping my fingers around his, pulling away to gaze up at him. "How could you not know?" I asked, slightly incredulous. Using his own words against him.

He studied my face like he never wished to forget it. "I don't deserve you. I did not dare because I know that I don't deserve you."

I sighed with contentedness for the first time in a long while. "You deserve more." I saw an argument in his eyes and I asked him a question. "What is it you would have changed about me?"

The young King, dark eyed and tender touched a strand of hair at my neck and when he'd brushed it away he leaned to kiss the spot where it had lain, then he whispered in my ear. "I only wish that your last name no longer be Pevensie."

My shock couldn't have been greater, but it was, as his mouth came to meet my parted lips.

I clung to his arm with one hand and the other rest on his shoulder. His kiss burned on my lips, like he could read my very thoughts. Of the kisses we'd shared I'd not thought they could be any sweeter. This one was the sweetest yet.

His lips were tender in their caress against my own and more serious, more perfect than before.

I had heard girls describe kisses as they never wanted them to end. I hadn't understood until then, what they'd meant. I still didn't understand how something as soft and gentle as his lips could create such turmoil within my heart.

"I love you sweet Lucy." He whispered at one point, his kiss too great for me to an attempt a reply.

All of this was about to change however.

He never said my name or Caspian's, but the sound that escaped his throat was a strangled cry.

I was away from Caspian in an instant, dizzy with happiness. Until I saw Peter, that is.

It hurt to see disgust in his eyes and disapproval on his darkly tanned face, which was harshly stiff. "Get away from my sister."

Caspian and I were already apart from one another, but when Peter ordered him to move, Caspian moved to stand directly between my brother and me. "Don't." There was a dangerous warning in his voice to which Peter scornfully laughed.

"Don't what? She is still my sister, now get away from her."

I shoved past Caspian and stared at my oldest brother, as much a King of Narnia as he'd ever been and the pride, arrogance still shone in his eyes. I knew he was only being protective, but it wasn't any reason for this confrontation. _Not to me at least._

"Don't do this Peter."

"Be quiet Lu, you are still a child where this is concerned." Peter lashed back, but I held my anger.

"Peter, you're being ridiculous, just stop it." I tried to reason with him.

Peter flushed in anger at his own embarrassment. "From what I could see, can I assume that wasn't the first time?"

Caspian scowled furiously. "Leave it alone Peter."

Peter ignored him. "If you've done anything more, I swear I'll kill you."

"Surely you think better of me than that!" Caspian ground out harshly.

"Peter! Caspian!" I spat, trying to get between them. But they were both ignoring me now, glaring at one another over my head.

"I think less of you after seeing that. I've a mind to have you carried to the jail in town." Peter said condescendingly.

"You haven't the authority." Caspian lashed out dangerously and I could see the war they were fighting against one another in their eyes, it wouldn't be long before one of them broke and would lash out physically.

"And you'd do that to Lucy's dear brother, I suppose?" Was Peter's sarcastic reply and he wasn't finished yet. He inclined his head in a condescending way. "I'd like to see you try and see how much she thinks of you then." Peter's stormy eyes shot to me. "But then, I suppose she might not care as much as she once would have."

_Peter. _My silent word was loud in that room, even though I didn't say it out loud. I shook my head in disgust, Caspian's reply quick on the heels of Peter's statement.

"She thinks less of you now, more than either one of us."

"Stop it." I tried fruitlessly to stop them.

Peter's hand slapped down on a table, making me jump. "I've had enough of you." Peter's fist grazed Caspian's face before I could blink and Caspian jumped to the side, shoving Peter back ,all I could do was watch as my brother fell back and over a chair. He was back up in an instant and heading towards Caspian.

_Is this where you act like a damsel in distress? _The question came at me as a surprise and I was in motion the next moment, stepping between the two. Getting between them.

"You are both better than this!" I shouted scornfully, trying to command their attention. "Will you stop it?"

Peter's tired, but furious eyes took me in. "Seems you have a choice to make Lu."

My hands balled into fists angrily. "This isn't a good moment to try and ask anything of me."

Peter's head was raised and his face was stiff, void of any emotion aside from anger. Caspian's was dangerously similar. "Him or your own flesh and blood?" Peter said the words deliberately, and they were as cold as ice.

Caspian said nothing behind me, making it seem as if he too wanted me to choose. I didn't let tears escape, I gazed at my brother. _Has the war changed you so much, brother? That your heart is as cold as a hundred year winter? _"You would have me choose?" I asked, giving my brother a chance to take back the words or Caspian to argue.

I was holding my breath for a moment, until Caspian said stiffly. "It might be the best choice."

Peter said nothing and I closed my eyes, taking a breath. _How is it we've come to this conclusion after everything, Aslan? _"I don't want to see or speak to either one of you." I hissed, my words holding a treacherous admonition.

I let both men watch me as I left that room, and neither one stopped me.

~X~

Darkly, I surveyed the city of Tashbaan from my window in my room. I needed rest. _How did we come to this? _Turning, I fell into bed without another thought, letting a sleep fall over me that was greatly needed. It released my body and mind from the questions, doubts and anger, my brother and Caspian seemed intent on driving between the three of us.

~X~X~X~

A knock wakened me from a dream of Caspian and I rolled over with a groan, remembering the previous night. My body ached and I called out.

"Who's there?"

"Lucy? Can I come in?" _Edmund. _

"No." I replied evenly.

"You cannot hide in there forever." Edmund said, a halfhearted attempt at humor.

"No one knows that more than I, Ed." I replied caustically.

"You could at least talk with me." He said and I didn't respond. "Would you at least like to explain why Caspian and Peter hate one another all of a sudden?" And as an afterthought. "More than usual."

I couldn't bring myself to lie and say nothing, so I simply said. "It's a long story."

There was quiet for such a long moment that I thought he'd left, but my door opened in a second and I glared at my brother an instant before I saw who stood behind him. Peter. I was off my bed in a second and fixing to slam the door in his face. He knew what I intended before and moved inside before I could stop him.

I swung about and pinned Edmund with a scathing look. "You really shouldn't have gotten involved."

"Lu, I'm your brother, that makes me involved whether you like it or not." Edmund answered, "You need to talk with Peter."

Peter cut in then, catching my elbow in one hand. "I need to…" I heard hesitation in his words. "I need to explain something to you."

"Why don't you explain it to Edmund and he can tell me about it later, that is if I'm still here by then." I snapped angrily.

"You're not going anywhere, Lu, not until we talk about this." Peter replied evenly.

"Pete." Edmund's tone was a warning to go easy.

"Oh, I believe you made your feelings very clear last night."

Edmund glanced at me quickly. "What exactly happened last night?"

"Ask him." I hissed, crossing my arms over my chest.

Peter's face was stone hard. "Ask the man who was taking full advantage of our sister last night."

As a dam bursts was something my anger did, despite my efforts to keep it on a tight rope. "Oh shut up Peter!" My raised fist hit him in the arm and when he didn't flinch it only made me angrier. "You have no idea of anything about me anymore!" Frustration escaped my tone. "Just leave me alone, alright? It doesn't make any difference now."

I shoved past him and out the bedroom door.

"Lucy!" Edmund came after me, trying to stop me, Peter followed silently.

I swung around, angry tears in my eyes. I couldn't seem to fight them anymore. "Stop it Ed. Can you not just leave me alone?"

I saw shock on both Peter and Ed's faces at my tears and that made me angrier. "Lu," Edmund started. "What happened?" And to Peter he growled. "What did you say to her?"

I swiped at my eyes. "You didn't tell him any of it then?" I said to Peter cynically.

"One of you tell me!" Edmund shouted with exasperation.

"What is going on here?" Caspian, of all the people to show up then stood behind Peter, taking in my wet face.

I backed away from the three.

"Lucy." Caspian said. "I-"

"I told you both that I didn't want to see or speak to you right now. I meant that." I whispered, stopping at the top of the stairs. To Edmund I said. "They want me to choose between them." I muttered the words distastefully.

And then I darted down the stairs.

I was outside and headed down the street rapidly, headed for the stable nearby that Dannsair was lodging in.

I didn't stop to think. And she only had look at my face and said with a sigh. "Climb on."

We were in the air before I could draw another breath. I glanced back once and saw a two figures standing outside the stable, gazing up at the golden horse and me. With a snort I turned back around and said. "Can you go faster?"

~X~X~X~

**(Edmund's POV)**

I stepped and blocked the way down the stairs, giving Lucy time to reach the bottom. She was so upset; I didn't want the two idiots before me to cause any more trouble than they already had. I had never known Lucy to get so upset at something without cause. And it made me wonder what on earth Caspian and Peter could have said or done to cause such a reaction.

"What did you both do?" I voiced the question roughly.

Caspian was looking past me at Lucy's retreat. "Let me go past Ed. I need to-"

"You don't need to get past until you tell me what you've done and I can decide whether or not I want to kill you first." I said bitingly.

"I don't need another of you Pevensie's causing even more trouble." Caspian said to me and I raised a brow in reply.

"Seems the both of you are causing it equally."

Peter shoved Caspian out of the way. "Let me go talk to her Ed."

"Nope." I shook my head slowly, mocking them both because I knew that would really irritate them. "Not until one of you tells me what you've done."

"Peter's the one who said it, not I." Caspian finally said, his words seeming a bit irate to my ears and Lucy's parting words echoed in my mind. _They want me to choose between them. _

"And did you not agree Telmarine?" Peter spat back. "So don't try and turn this back on me."

"_**What did you do**__?" _I spaced the words apart, emphasizing each word.

Both my own brother and the new King of Narnia scowled at me with so much fury that I regretted not having a sword or some sort of weapon right then. Not that I thought it would come to that, just never hurts to have some backup, some _persuasion_ to make them speak.

"I told her…" Peter mumbled inaudibly.

"What was that?" I asked, leaning my head forward slightly, I wanted to hear him say it.

"I told her she had to choose between us!" Peter shouted at me and I flinched inwardly.

Caspian's response was far less than Peter's, more dismal. "And I agreed at the time."

Disbelief was an easy word to describe what I felt, now to describe what I thought of the two in front of me. "You idiots." I think my disgust got through to them pretty simply. "Do you have any idea what you've done? Lucy…" I trailed off, mouth twisted with loathing. "You're both complete idiots."

Neither of them had anything to say to that, because they knew I was right.

"Now what are you going to do?" I questioned.

"Go after her." Caspian replied with no hesitation.

"Peter?" I prodded. I had never before felt as disappointed as I did then as I watched my brother walk away. His cold demeanor wasn't something I had ever seen before, not like this. _What are you doing, Peter? _

I couldn't be bothered with him right then, I had to go after Lucy. And besides I was far from through with Caspian and what he'd said and done with my sister. Somehow I thought it safe to assume that part of this problem was that my sister had sometime developed feelings for the new King of Narnia without anyone realizing it. _I _hadn't realized it, and I'd been living in the same house with her the past year. And it finally made sense now. Maybe I'd been partly wrong?

Maybe it wasn't Narnia alone that Lucy had missed? And if that was true, then I had a sneaking suspicion that there was more to everything she'd said the night before. I was going to find out.

I could hear Caspian's hollow steps following after me as I left the mansion. We had to find her.

_There is much to discuss little sister. _

~X~X~X~

**So how did this chapter turn out? Where is Lucy? Will Caspian and/or Edmund find her? Is Peter as cold-hearted as he seems? *in a melodramatic voice* And most of all will Lucy choose stay with Caspian in Narnia after this newest rift between them? Lol.**

**You'll have to find out in the next chapter. Or two. ;) So sorry. Hahahaha!**

**Now go review if you please. **


	22. Forgiveness and Love

**Yeah, I know. Unbelievably late. :/**_** It's not even really finished. I kinda cut it off...but I think it'll be fine. :) **_

__**Thanks for being patient and for continued reading.**

**God bless. :)**

_**Chapter 21- Forgiveness and Love**_

I looked between Dannsair's golden ears and sighed for the dozenth time. My exhale was met with,

"If you don't stop huffing, you're going to blow something down." She puffed without concealing her annoyance as she flew.

"I'm sorry, Dannsair." I said, though not particularly sorry as I said it.

Dannsair took the quiet only a few seconds before saying. "You have two choices My Lady."

I blinked fully out of my reverie for the first time since leaving Tashbaan's city gates. "What do you mean?"

"You can either tell me what happened or I'm going to throw you off and douse you in the next creek we happen across."

That comment didn't even coerce a smile to my face, but it did make speak. "They wish me to choose between them."

Dannsair's wings seemed to falter in midair. "His Majesty and Thomas?"

I offered her ears a sour look. "Well you've got one right."

"You brother, High King Peter then? Truly?" She asked, sounding surprised.

"Hmph." Was my response.

"Are you going to tell me? Or shall we have to continue this guessing game where eventually I douse you in a creek anyway?" It was only a partially teasing threat and I knew the golden horse wouldn't hesitate to do just that.

With another heavy sigh I began to explain, starting with, "Peter suspected something yesterday, between Caspian and me." And ending with, "And Caspian never argued about it, only agreed." I rolled my shoulders back to ease the tension they held.

Dannsair's response was quiet. "You say they were both angry…perhaps they only said it all because of anger at one another and pride."

"Oh, they don't like one another alright." _And there was enough pride in that room to cause the downfall of the entire kingdom. _I responded, not letting my fury escape even a little bit from my lips.

"Lucy," Dannsair's sharp voice made me jerk to attention. "You are wise. The wisest young woman I've ever met in my years. Think a bit; what would so bother King Peter about the situation? Perhaps he was only shocked at finding you and King Caspian so…"

Before she could think of a word to describe just what Caspian and I'd been doing, I said. "You may stop at any moment now."

The horse ignored me and said. "Occupied with each other. I've seen the glances the two of you've shared. There is nothing subtle about it if you truly look at it. Your brother probably worries that what you feel isn't true and only some childish…"

I cut her off without thought to being polite. "Then why not say that and not tell me I have to choose between the two insufferable idiots?" I slipped forward on Dannsair's back. "And you haven't given me an excuse for Caspian's side in this."

"Somehow," she replied dryly. "I didn't think you'd care to listen."

I pressed my lips together and fell silent. I had to think, clearly.

Peter's face was what I saw if I closed my eyes. His anger.

Equally as strong was the picture of Caspian, gazing down at me saying, "Peter is not the one in love with you!"

Aside from this obvious problem, there were other things that weighed heavily upon me. One of which was my choice to stay in Narnia or not. I already had a great suspicion and inclination as to who had made that sacrifice of me. I just needed to speak with him to be certain.

The other thing that bothered me was Edwin. Annabella was his mother. Melaina…her mother was still out there somewhere.

Why had these children fallen into my path exactly? There must have been a reason.

And then I realized something.

_She's going to come back for her daughter._

_And maybe Edwin as well._

_They need protection._

_Aslan, please protect the two of them. _

And that is when I decided to do something reckless, I suppose.

"Dannsair, take me back to Tashbaan, please."

The winged horse snorted beneath me. "You're going to face them, then?"

I didn't reply and she didn't press me for an answer.

I waited until I could see Tashbaan's gates outlined in a beautifully gold sunset before I spoke again. "I want to speak with my cousin without being seen by my brother or Caspian right now."

Dannsair's wings faltered as she lowered herself to the ground slowly, waiting until her hooves touched before saying. "You know there will be guards posted, watching for our return?"

I slid from her back hurriedly. "Of course."

"And it is that important that you not be seen? You're not worried about getting caught sneaking in?"

"I believe the guards have a need to fear me at this very moment." I called back to her lightly.

~X~X~X~X~

I was crouched behind a rather large stone, staring up at the guards that stood in their usual positions, though there were noticeably more than usual, and all were watching for my return.

I just didn't have any intention of being seen right now. Of course I'd have to face Caspian and Peter both, but I wanted to talk with Eustace for now.

I waved a hand behind me in a gesture to Dannsair to move. I sensed her movement as it came and then she flew from the trees. She was my distraction.

I watched as the men startled into moving, disappearing back on the wall and out of my line of vision. With that I darted towards the base of the wall and went left along it, slipping and sliding as I went down the slope. This was the part of the wall that was covered thickly with vines and overgrowth of greenery.

As I placed my hands on the stone wall I remembered rather too vividly the moment when I'd been climbing the up the rock cliffs near Cair, a storm beating down on my body and soul with the force of a giant.

Shrugging away the thought and fear I started up the wall, already half way up before I knew it. Trying not to think of the height. I grimaced at the pain in my scuffed hands. After all, it had only been a few days since the battle. My body and shoulder had not yet completely recovered from the attacks.

With a last unladylike grunt I pulled myself to the top of the wall and peered to the right and left.

The guards were gone.

_Still chasing Dannsair. _

I ducked low and dropped down to the wooden platform the guards normally stood upon.

I made it as far as the stop step of the steps leading back down to the ground when a hand landed on my shoulder.

Startled, I turned around quickly.

"Philip!" It came out as a snap. The older man I'd befriended back in Calormen when I'd went in search of a bit of fun fighting, smiled at me kindly, but with a stern edge in his eyes that made me frown.

"Queen Lucy. Might I ask where you're going?"

I heaved a sigh. "I am sorry, but I cannot speak to them right now. I do not want to." Despite my resolve to remain calm, tears burned and I blinked quickly.

The man must have seen the look in my eyes for he touched one shoulder. "There, child, it's alright." He paused. "Tell me something Your Majesty?"

I raised my head to meet his kind eyes.

"Are you going to run from facing them or are you running to see who will come after you?"

My lips twisted into an odd expression as I thought about that question briefly. _Am I running from facing them? And how does Philip know what I'm going to do? _I answered him truthfully. "Perhaps both."

I hadn't thought about it like that before. _Am I truly running to see if Peter or Caspian will run after me? _

"And where are you going, child?"

I steadily gazed at him. "If he wants to find me, he'll find me." I replied evenly.

Both of our heads jerked around when we heard footsteps and Philip grasped my elbow. "Come, if you don't want to be seen."

I trotted forward as he pushed me firmly downwards until he said abruptly. "Crouch down, now and don't make a sound."

I dropped immediately on to the hard wood and Philip turned around, standing over me, a shield from anyone up at the bottom of the steps.

"It's you Philip!" A man called out. "Why aren't you down with the others?"

"I'd orders to stay up here and keep watch if they lost them." Philip said smoothly and I tried to flatten my slight body even further out of sight.

A few more words passed between the two and finally Philip gestured at me to get up and follow him. We made it down the steps without further err. "Where to now, Queen Lucy?"

"I need to speak with my cousin, Eustace before I leave." I murmured quietly, so as not to be heard by anyone else.

"He's back at the mansion, King Edmund ordered him to stay in case of your return." Philip answered and I nodded with satisfaction.

"Let's go."

~X~X~X~

Scarcely ten minutes went by as we carefully made it back to the mansion. It was a bit easier when we made it into the heart of the city and more people swarmed about us. Philip lent me his cloak kindly and I could hide my face to an extent.

I spotted the mansion before long, standing rigid and foreboding just as it had been when I'd left a few hours previous.

_I can't just walk in the front door. _

Philip must have guessed my line of thinking from my hesitant steps for he said quietly. "We'll go in the back way."

I breathed a bit easier and followed the fatherly man trustingly.

As it was…I made all the way back to my borrowed room without any commotion and Philip set off to fetch Eustace and send him back to me.

So it was with distraction and impatience that I crossed the bedroom, not seeing the man until he stepped from the shadows of a corner. His blond hair was hanging loose and only served to make his blue eyes seem even brighter than they were.

Once upon a time those eyes had been cold with anger and hate. They now held the light of one who'd…seen.

Even though I recognized his shadowy face, I couldn't help but gasp harshly and step back until I ran into my bed.

We stared at one another.

He waited.

Finally, I moved, striding over to him quickly, one hand coming up to touch his face, his warm skin.

"You're alive."

His blue eyes blinked at my touch and a smile caught his lips. Tears shone in those eyes and my finger on his face felt a slight erosion to his cheek and I pulled him forward to the light, where I could fully look at him.

A thin line ran down his left cheek part of the way. I peered at the scar curiously; his face had not been cut when…when he'd been lying near to death.

He spoke without waiting for my question. "He touched me." James' hand came up to touch my fingers, then slipped his fingers between mine so he could touch what was beneath them. "He healed me when I did not deserve to-" His voice gave way and pulled him into a hug, tears springing forth in my own blue eyes.

"This scar serves as a reminder of what I did and how I was forgiven." His arms tightened around me for a moment before he released me from the hug. "You are the one I never had a chance to thank as I should have."

I raised my head to look at him fully. "It was not me, but Him. Give your thanks to Him." I whispered.

His strong hands grasped my face, gently, but firmly. "But you are the reason I came to know Him." His eyes flicked down and I froze at the unexpected look. "You are the reason I was given a second chance." He murmured, his lips coming to brush my forehead tenderly. "Once," he started, "I might have thanked you by giving back what I asked of you…" I held my breath uncomfortably and he smiled at me. "But I believe that might not be wise as I know where your heart lies."

I stiffened at the words. "Perhaps it did once." The words were harsh and not completely true, I did not care.

"Ah," He acknowledged. "Have you spoken with him?"

"You know?" I asked, only a partly surprised.

His shoulders rose lightly in a shrug. "I heard part of it last night."

"You were here last night?" I demanded. "And you could not let me know?"

The blond haired young man before me had the nerve to look embarrassed. "I did not think it a good time to announce my presence."

"Perhaps not." I replied, a sourness in my words that made him grasp my shoulders.

"He did not mean it."

"Which one?" I questioned darkly. "They both said it."

James waited until I met his eyes again. "Neither."

"Then let them tell me that," I said slowly, with a finality I must have learned from Caspian.

James' frown was deep. "Do you truly believe either of them would have meant it, Lucy?"

"No," I said calmly, "But neither did I believe either one of them would have actually said it."

"You know Caspian and your brother both, they've each a temper. Both of them. Look at it from your brother's view. What did he see when he walked into the library last night?" He left the question at that, but it was enough to make me blush darkly.

"He still had no right to assume what he did, neither is it an excuse for what both said."

The blue eyed young man caught my right hand. "No, it isn't an excuse, not a good one anyway, but remember something. Your brother hasn't been in Narnia long enough to grow used to what I've seen between you and Caspian." He only paused for a breath before saying. "Caspian is protective of you; I know he cares for you too much to have really meant what he said. He wouldn't hurt you like that."

"Then why does he keep doing it!" The cry that came from my lips was loud, but still I kept a hold on my temper.

His flinch made me close my lips tightly and fall silent. Then he said, "That is a question you need to ask him yourself."

At that moment footsteps could be heard coming down the hall outside my room. He looked at the door, then back to me. "I need to go anyway. I need to speak with Caspian whenever he returns."

As the young man headed for the door someone knocked and I grabbed for his arm before he could open the door.

"Will you tell him I'm here or not?"

James looked down at my fingers clutching his arm a bit too tightly and gently pried my fingers loose. "No, I won't," He whispered softly, "But he'll know you're here anyway."

I released him and he opened the door, letting Edmund and my cousin rush in breathlessly.

"Lucy!" The both exclaimed at once.

"I'll leave you to it then." Said the blond young man exiting my room.

I followed after him to close the door, calling after him. "James?"

"Yes, Your Majesty?"

"I'm glad you're alive."

His grin was wide as he said, "As am I, Lucy. As am I." With a parting wink, he went on.

I turned around, shoving the door closed, my back against it as I braced myself for a coming tirade from my brother or cousin.

What I saw was worry in Eustace's eyes and Edmund's gave the impression of worry, though he hid it well, the only thing giving way his fear the slight wrinkle in his aristocratic brow.

"Did you learn nothing from the past few weeks, Lu?" He questioned, severely. "You didn't have to leave the city gates."

I scowled slightly. "I'm fine and I was flying, safer in the air, than on foot in the forest." _I don't have to explain myself to you. _I didn't say the last bit it aloud though.

Edmund's frown lightened a little at whatever he read in my expression. "I just don't want you in danger again.

I sighed just a little. "I know, Ed. I'm sorry. Where are Peter and Caspian?"

Eustace spoke up. "No one has seen Peter since he left early this morning and Caspian was close behind Edmund coming in."

_He's here then. _I grimaced and said. "I need to go. I only came back to ask you something, Eustace."

My cousin's greyish eyes turned on me, suddenly very serious. "What is it, Lu?"

I took a step towards the boy who was scarcely an inch or so taller than I and grabbed his arm. "Is it true? I need to know if it's true."

"Is what true?" Edmund demanded raucously.

_That you were the one to give up your destiny, your future in Narnia, so that I could have a choice? _I spoke not one of these words out loud; only let my cousin draw the question from my eyes.

"It is." He replied gently.

I closed my eyes and quickly opened them again. "Why?" I asked desperately.

Eustace smiled at me a little bit sadly. "I saw how sad you were when you weren't here. I figured that after everything I've done…I supposed it was high time I did something for you."

Edmund's voice made me jump startled. "So that's why you go to come back this time, Lu?"

_And why I have the choice to stay. _Eustace and I both though it, I was sure, but neither of us spoke it aloud. Not yet.

"Yes." I said, my voice only a slight sound in the room.

I glanced at Edmund for a moment before looking back to Eustace. I took a step forward and hugged him warmly. If I could have spoken I would have. As it was, my thanks wouldn't come from my lips.

I think my cousin understood anyway for he returned my hug with a light pat on the back and smiled at me. "It's alright."

Edmund was watching is and finally reached to touch my arm. Eustace murmured a goodbye, that he'd speak with me later and was out the door in a moment.

"Lu, we need to talk." Edmund said as the door shut behind our cousin. "Would you care to explain?"

"I suppose it would depend on what you'd ask." I replied with an even tone.

"Lu." My brother grasped my arm more firmly.

I didn't pull away. "I'm sorry Ed. It's not something I can tell you right now. I have to decide something first." There truly was an apology in my voice. I would have told him…but…I didn't want to tell anyone until I'd made my decision go back to England or stay in Narnia.

Edmund let my arm go. "You don't have to tell me right now, but I do want to know the rest of what happened during the battle, after the battle."

I sat down heavily upon my bed. "Ed," I didn't let tears cloud my vision. I didn't want to cry then.

"What is it, Lu?" Edmund demanded, "I know you. There's something you're not telling."

"It's Susan," I gazed out the one window of the room, not wanting to see the betrayed look in my brother's eyes. "She's the one who did it."

Edmund's movements were stiff as he sat down on the bed beside me. "Tell me."

I didn't have the strength to refuse him right then, so I told him. I told him what happened.

He rose only after I finished and paced before the bed, then swung about to say. "You could have died." His voice was strange and I knew that it was fear that made it so.

"What of you and Caspian?" He dared to question. "You care for him, Lucy?"

"I love him, Edmund." I finally uttered the words that I knew there would be no going back from.

Edmund's silence made me stand, but I didn't move to verbally defend my words. I saw no reason to. They were true, that was enough and if my brother knew me at all, he wouldn't question that.

The words he said were. "I know."

I breathed a little easier. "Then you know why I'm leaving." I replied softly.

"I'm coming with you." He said adamantly in reply.

"Why don't you stay, Ed, and make sure Peter and Caspian don't do anything stupid?"

My brother offered me a contradicting look. "You and I both know that doesn't work that way."

"What if Thomas, Philip and James go with me? I want to travel quickly." I tried again.

You'll have at least eight more." Edmund suggested, "You can still be quick with so few."

"Five." I said stubbornly.

"Seven or I'm coming." He shot back, with no more argument from me.

~X~X~X~

With my ten guards I slipped from the gates of Tashbaan without delay or err on Sparrow's back. I regretted leaving Dannsair, but knew she'd understand.

Three days came and went and Calormen rose before us, the bustling of the great city more welcoming than that of Tashbaan. Though I knew Tashbaan's gates only looked so dismal for the regret, anger and memories I now had there.

The three days went by slowly, with scant conversation with my companions, even as they tried to speak to me frequently.

It was as we would have headed towards James' home that James himself suggested that we stop in town for our midday meal.

I fidgeted both inwardly and outwardly the whole time, more interested in returning to James' home to find Edwin safe. To perhaps ask him about his mother if I could.

It was again James who suggested that the two of us go for a stroll down the streets of Calormen. Thomas' eyes watched us as we left and he nodded at me before rising to his feet to accompany James and me outside as well.

Both men followed silently until I came to a stop in the middle of the crowds, letting people flow around us as I sighed heavily.

"I wish they'd hurry. I want to see Edwin."

Neither man responded to that, though James reached and produced a sack he'd been carrying since Tashbaan. He held it out to me. Of course I'd noticed the sack; I'd just assumed that it held provisions.

I took the bag hesitantly. "What is this?"

James shook his head. "It's…hard for me to explain."

I stared at James closely, studying his face. "What do you mean?"

James' hand was lightning quick, catching my fingers as they moved to open the flap of the sack. "Don't open it yet. Wait until we reach my home."

I nearly sighed again, but stopped myself. I wasn't trying to be petulant…I'd just grown tired of the never ceasing problems that kept rising between those I loved.

"Can we go now?" I whispered against the crowd.

Thomas was the one to nod and say. "Just a moment, we'll go." And then he disappeared back inside whilst James and I went to get our horses.

Sparrow snorted a greeting and I patted his neck in silent response.

We waited until Thomas reappeared by himself and I gazed at him curiously. "Where are the others?"

Thomas smiled at me. "They'll be going back to the castle in a bit. You, James and I will be going on to his home now."

I smiled a little for the first time in days. "Come on, then."

Thomas' words lightened my mood some and I enjoyed Sparrow's smooth gait as it swayed me back and forth going towards James' home.

A gentle breeze played at my hair and I closed my eyes to revel in the simplistic thing. It was a comfort. If only for a moment.

"Lucy." Thomas' voice made me open my eyes.

James finished Thomas' sentence. "We're here."

My eyes wandered up to the two story house and I smiled slightly, it was just as beautiful as it had been before. But that wasn't what made me smile so. What made me smile was a young man playing with a little boy outside the home. The little boy assumedly, Edwin.

So intent was I on the pair dashing about that I was jerked forward when Sparrow came to a sudden halt.

"Why did you stop?" My eyes flashed down to the horses flicking ears.

James had pulled his horse in front of us was the reason, blocking our path.

"Open the sack now, Lucy." The blonde haired young man murmured quietly.

Thomas was beside me on his horse now and he reached over to touch my shoulder. "I'm going up to the house Lu. I'll see you in a bit." There was something odd about Thomas as he rode on, not waiting for any reply from me.

I gazed at him and James in turn with great consternation. "Why are you both acting strangely?" I snapped, some of the anger I'd held back thus far slipping into my voice.

"Humor me and open that, please." James inclined his fair head to the sack. "I'll see you in a bit as well."

I raised a hand in protest. "You want me to stay right here?"

James chose not to acknowledge my anger. "Just open it, please."

I snatched at the sack and jerked its flap roughly, glaring at the flap until it yielded to my angry fingers.

What I saw made me pause.

My book, my story journal.

_Why would James have this? _I pulled the book out without hesitation. More so as I saw a golden chain dangling flimsily from the books pages as if it were a bookmark.

I flipped the book open and took in the clear, near perfect stone gilded with gold. My heartbeat quickened when I touched the necklace.

The page below the chain in my book held a few words and I read them at least three time before I understood their meaning.

I NEVER MEANT IT.

As if there was an echo in my mind, the very person who had written those words said. "I never meant it, Lucy."

My fingers closed around the necklace, crushing it in my fist. "Then why bother saying it?"

I pulled my leg over Sparrow's withers and made to slide off. The young King before me moved immediately and caught me.

His sweet scent caught me unprepared and I shoved at his chest, a silent reprimand to release me. He let me go, his dark eyes holding no expression.

"You know why." Was all he said in reply.

My nose crinkled in irritation. "Because you were angry?" I glared past him towards the trees, I had no choice, it was that or risk loosing an angry tear. "As angry as I've ever been Caspian, I've never told anyone I loved something like that."

Caspian's silence made me glance at him. He watched me, met my eyes, but there was no anger nor irritation.

Both of which I had partly expected. I did not see them, no, I saw sorrow. It wasn't even that truly, the sorrow bordered on something on something else. A sadness I'd not seen about him before.

"It wasn't an excuse; I shouldn't have lost my temper."

You're right," I replied a bit harshly. "You shouldn't have, but I could have understood your anger, what you shouldn't have done was agree with Peter. That is where your greatest error lies."

A bit of pride came back into his sorrowful demeanor. "Can you not understand Lucy? I didn't mean it. That was the last thing I meant."

Even as I could see and hear the honesty in his words, still I went on. "By all means, tell me what you meant."

"I meant-" Caspian faltered and it made me step forward until I was right before him. "What, Caspian? What did you really mean?" I grabbed his arm and gave it a shake.

The young King before me kept his head turned just enough so that I couldn't look into his eyes to guess at his expression.

His stiff jaw told me he was holding back what he wished to say.

"Look at me, please Caspian." He didn't move. With shaking fingers I reached and carefully touched his jaw, felt it stiffen all the more at my touch.

I dropped my hand as I saw behind him a face peeking out a window. The curtain dropped instantly.

"We're being watched." I said with consternation.

"I don't care." Caspian's response was sudden, making me stiffen. His hand came to grasp my fist, the one that held the necklace.

He held my fist between us, the only barrier. "Lucy," I stared up at him, sucking in a painful at his expression.

His golden brown eyes looked weary, he grasped my forearms and pulled me closer to him. "I don't want to lose you. I don't deserve you because I was foolish enough to say what I did." His hands were touching my face, brushing at my hair.

I turned my face up to him fully and he looked down at me. It was a moment that might have led to a kiss. But he didn't kiss me and I didn't kiss him.

He knew a kiss wasn't something that could diminish his words into oblivion. Only if I forgave him.

What surprised me the most about him was when something dampened my face.

_His tears. _

One tear dropped innocently on my nose and I could feel my own unshed tears returning with a vengeance until they slid down my cheeks.

"I'm sorry." His breath was warm on my face, a silent plea.

His fingers stilled on either side of my face and our noses scarcely brushed. "I am so sorry." He pulled me inot his arms, his lips brushing at my tears. "I don't want to lose you. I'm scared of losing you." The last of his words was said so quietly that I almost asked him to say it again.

But I understood him.

I laid my hands on either side of his face, stilling his movements, though he wasn't quiet.

"I would never make you choose between Peter and me." I could feel his chest rise in a shaky breath and whispered,

"I know." As if I'd released him physically from some sort of bond his entire body loosened and I let my arms tighten their hold about him, holding him as closely as he held me.

"Thank Aslan." He breathed into my hair, kissing the top of my head tenderly.

I wasn't sure how long we stood there but eventually the sky's darkening made Caspian say. "Peter wants to speak with you."

"He's here?" At Caspian's nod I felt worry return in my heart.

Caspian must have seen the unease in my eyes for he caught my chin and tilted my face up a him a little. "Don't be scared, love."

I fought to steady my uneven breathing, glancing down at my still closed fist. Softly, I reached and placed the necklace in his hand.

He looked at it for a moment, as if unsure if he dare hope again.

I touched his jaw again, touching the corner of his lips. I nodded lightly and ducked my head forward a tiny bit.

He fastened the necklace and his next gesture was so quick that I hardly saw, but more felt as his mouth pressed a kiss to the side of my neck.

"Come," He grasped my hand. "I'll go with you if you wish."

I smiled at his offer, knowing that he would. "I believe I need to go alone, I've a feeling this is going to be difficult."

We'd made it to the door by then and Caspian halted with a slight nod. "I want to tell you that he didn't mean it."

I took the brief moment as he opened the door to revel in his eyes. His gaze lingered on me for too long, too sweetly for it to just have been coincidence.

He grasped my hand again, walking beside me to the sitting room's cracked door.

Too my surprise Caspian didn't release my hand, he pulled me close to him, his kiss a sudden and quick thing that made me stop abruptly. It was brief, though it hardly mattered. It was still enough to make my heart race, cheeks warm with pleasure.

When he pulled away there was a teasing grin on his lips that made me smile. "There it is."

"What?" I asked quietly, so as not to alert anyone to our presence.

"Your smile." He replied very softly. "I've missed it."

When I opened my mouth to reply we heard footsteps crossing the floor of the inner room and I quickly took a step away from Caspian as Alina, James' mother appeared in the doorway.

"Your Majesties!" She exclaimed, catching me in an exuberant hug and then doing the same to Caspian, all the time with a sly look in her eyes.

"I was wondering when I might see the two of you." She fairly pulled us both into the room to see Thomas, James, Lilliandril and of course, Peter.

There was a slight hesitancy in my step at seeing the Star sitting between my brother and Thomas, one that I forgot about as Peter, Thomas and James all rose from their seats, as was polite.

"Lucy." All of them said. Though Peter was the only one I paid heed to.

"Are you alright?" He asked, walking straight up to me. He did not embrace me in a hug as he might have days before. His brown eyes were tired, that of a man who'd seen much strife in his young lifetime.

I recognized this look. It was the same expression he'd worn back in England, coming home from war.

"Lucy." Edmund called out from behind me. I didn't turn to look at him. It only made sense that he'd come with Peter and Caspian I supposed.

"We need to talk Peter." I whispered for him only though everyone probably knew what I said any way.

My brother's eyes never moved from mine, but I knew he was fully aware of Caspian directly behind me. For the longest instant I was afraid that my brother would refuse to speak. Instead, he nodded towards the doorway Caspian and I'd just entered from.

"Let's walk a bit before supper." His voice was easy and polite as he murmured a farewell for the moment to Lilliandril and James' mother, though something about it seemed strained in a way.

If James's mother or Lilliandril understood any of what was truly going on, or thought it odd, they didn't comment. At least, not while my brother and I still stood in the room.

Even though I'd just come in from outside, Peter walked back out, his silence beckoning me to follow wordlessly. It was a great, condemning thing

He seemed to be waiting. Finally I'd had enough and came to a halt, letting him walk on towards the garden until I called after him.

"What would you like me to say, Peter?"

He stopped, keeping his back to me. "I didn't ask anything."

I took a steadying breath, feeling exposed after my talk with Caspian. "You didn't have to." I paused and then said, "I'm not going to apologize."

"For what?" My brother replied rigidly.

I didn't have to think about it. "For kissing him, or letting him kiss me rather. I won't apologize for caring about him Peter."

"Loving, you mean?" He questioned a bit caustically. "Or at least, that's how Ed tells it." Suddenly Peter swung about violently and walked up to me, looking down at me. "Are you?"

I bit the inside of my lip before admitting. "I am."

His brown eyes clouded in…I wasn't exactly sure what. Despair? Fury?

"Peter?" His eyes gazed at me and their expression tore my heart in two. _Pain._ Pain is what I saw.

"Tell me something Lu," He didn't wait for my agreement. "Why does it matter anymore?"

"What do you mean?" I stared at him uncertainly.

He caught me by the shoulders firmly. "If you cannot stay, then why does it matter what you feel for him?"

It was a logical question, though one I'd not had a need to ask myself since Eustace had…given me a chance.

"You- We're not supposed to be here right now. Susan's betrayal is…" He trailed off but I knew he didn't need to finish for me to understand.

"What if I could stay though?" I asked carefully, wincing as his head snapped up. "Would you really ask me to make that choice? Do you really think that I could, that I would do that to either of you?"

"I did not mean it." My brother whispered hoarsely. "You are my baby sister. I don't want to lose you. I already have one sister dead to me." He wouldn't look me in the eyes now. Less the king and more an older, protective brother as he asked. "Do you truly love him?" I could hear his doubt, the kiss Caspian had shared with Susan never far from mind.

"How can I convince you? I've already told you that I do." I tried to say the words gently but they came out stiff.

Peter looked past my shoulder at something in the distance and said. "Would you choose to stay here if it were possible?"

I sighed heavily and whispered. "As it is, that choice isn't easy as some would come to hate me for it."

"I don't hate you. I could never hate you, Lu." Peter tightened his grip on my shoulders. "Surely you know that?"

I shrugged back from his touch. "Perhaps. But what if I could stay?" I looked him in the eyes. "And what if I chose to stay? What would you say then, Peter?"

"I'd trust that you knew you'd made the right choice." My brother, the king spoke here.

"Truly?" I questioned, wanting the absolute truth from his mouth.

"I'd try to convince you differently if I thought it a mistake." He muttered.

I studied him for a moment. "And what is it you loathe so much about Caspian?"

"His arrogance." Was all Peter said.

I frowned indifferently. "You're both arrogant at times. A fault to both of you."

Peter's lips tightened. "His tolerance for letting you run wherever you pleased, making you angry enough to act foolishly."

I snorted in derision. "And that is where you're wrong. He was extraordinarily protective of me and you cannot blame him for my own sneaking about."

He could have kept a better watch over you." He argued roughly.

"Of course, if he'd been standing over my bed at night and held a constant hold on my arm at every moment." I scowled at the sky. "And then where would we be? I'd hate both of you for being stifling. And Peter," I looked back to his face. "I can protect myself."

"So you've said." He muttered without enthusiasm.

"And even if something happened where I can't. Aslan is with me. I trust that He'll protect me."

Peter's smile was sad. "You never gave up on Him."

I winced painfully. "I doubted Him."

Peter's downcast eyes flew up to mine. "What do you mean?"

The night you were brought to Narnia, when you were…tortured. Going through the woods that night…" I halted and shook my head. "I doubted Him and myself."

Suddenly my brother pulled me to him, hugging me tightly. "You never said what you saw that night. You only said that…what I already knew while conscious."

I rested my head lightly against my brother's shoulder. "We were chased and thrown from James' horse. We ran on for a while and then you couldn't go on."

Peter prodded me with his words. "What then?"

Tears were like fire in my eyes as I remembered his bruised and bloody body lying collapsed on the forest floor."

"I wanted to give up. I didn't believe I could go on…Aslan helped me. He gave me the strength to stand and carry you on."

"What?" Peter gasped in shock, his voice overlapped with Caspian's and I spun around to find Caspian standing close behind me.

The handsome king's eyes swept my small stature. "You carried him?"

I shrugged my shoulders lightly, suddenly looking at my brother closely for the first time in a while. He was probably three times my size. "I did not do it alone."

"What happened after that?" Peter asked softly.

"I walked on and heard something, someone coming after me. I started running, tried to find somewhere to hide…" I shot Caspian a dry smile. "As things were, it was only Caspian and his men." My eyes slipped to Caspian's for an instant as I remembered the desperation in his face…and kiss. Caspian winked at me good-naturedly.

Peter was not blind to the wink and started to say something. "What…never mind."

My cheeks burned angrily and I said. "You were ill and then the battle. You know the rest of it."

Peter's eyes flicked back and forth between us and I stiffened at a harsh comment I felt sure was to come. It never came though and he only said. "Could you let me speak to Lucy alone a moment longer? By ourselves." His tone was firm, but not harsh.

Caspian was reluctant, I knew, but he strode off back to the house anyway.

"Can you…" Peter hesitated as Caspian disappeared back into the house. "You're going to have to let him go, Lu. You know that right?" His voice was soft and gentle, making me feel guilty of the secret I kept from him.

His head shot up as I didn't reply. "You do know that, Lu?"

I grimaced and shifted back, away from his hug.

"Lu!" My eldest brother exclaimed in…disbelief. "You can't stay."

I couldn't look at him, so I gazed at the darkening sky. "I can, actually."

"What?" My brother's tone held…incredulity. "How do you mean?"

I smiled a little sadly. "It isn't something I can tell you, He'll have to if he chooses."

"He? You mean Caspian?" Peter demanded.

"No." I replied softly.

"But-" Peter halted, his skepticism making his stature tense, unsure.

I waited for further response.

"May Aslan forgive me," He muttered to himself. And to me, "Forgive me Lu, I'd no idea. It couldn't have helped the other night…especially knowing…"

_Not really. _I didn't say it aloud.

"Have you told anyone?" He asked, his obvious meaning, had I told Caspian?

"No." I answered quietly. "I hardly had time to think about it and then…" I left my sentence at that. _When you and Caspian caused that decision to become far more difficult that it already was. _

Peter was silent in reply. So long that I finally prodded him. "Peter?"

"What…are you going to choose?" He questioned, his low tone dangerously close to a waver.

I fought the fear in my chest at seeing my brother uneasy. "If I knew the answer to that, we wouldn't be standing here."

Peter kept his eyes from meeting mine for a moment and then glanced to my blue eyes. "You do love him?" It wasn't a true question, more of a statement he was still trying to grasp.

"I do love him."

Peter looked at me sternly, the flash of firmness in his strong, telling me he was dead serious. "And does he love you?"

I glanced away a second, remembering that night only a few days before. _"Peter is not the one who's in love with you!" _I'd heard those words over and over again since that night.

"He does." I murmured. "He really does." Peter didn't reply and I reached to touch his arm softly. "Peter?"

"I know." He snapped out, though he didn't seem angry.

"What?"

"I know…he loves you." Peter hissed the words as if they pained him. Which, they probably did.

"You do?" The incredulity in my voice couldn't be helped. "How?"

Peter offered me a dry smile. "When you both came out of the sea near Cair? After falling from the cliff?"

I nodded expectantly.

"The way he looked at you then." I didn't press my brother for more, letting him take his time and say what he wished. "He talked about you," He paused as if thinking back. "When we made it back to Tashbaan, he spoke of your courage, of those you'd saved and how selfless you'd been in the face of danger."

I stared at the ground. "I am not so perfect as that."

"He seems to believe you are and more." Peter picked up one of my hands. "I only wish I could change what I said." My fingers tightened on my brother's hand and he asked. "Has he apologized?"

I nodded slowly. "I've forgiven him as I've forgiven you and as I hope you've forgiven me."

"Forgive you?" He asked, startled.

I raised my blue eyes to stare past him. "I shouldn't have kept what I felt for him a secret."

Peter smiled at me gently. "You are growing up Lu. We all have our secrets."

I smiled back at him teasingly. "And what is yours?"

My brother's cheeks were ruddy with color all of a sudden. "I- I've met a young woman, when I return to England I'd planned on proposing to her."

"Peter!" I gasped in a little shriek. "How- what-?" I stopped when he chuckled.

"She was a nurse, caring for the wounded during the fights. That's how I met her." Peter absentmindedly rubbed his side and I reached to still his fingers.

"What happened?" I whispered carefully, having no desire to make him remember the horrors of that cursed war.

"They were coming at us from the front and left." His eyes grew darker. "No one noticed when they tricked us and a group got around us and started to come at us from behind." My brother drew a breath. From my grip on his hand I could feel his raging heart, the fear that had surged through his body that very day.

"By the time I saw they were already blocking us off from any chance of escape. I ran straight into their attack." His eyes grew confused. "I don't remember much after that. I saw blood, my blood, their blood, the blood of my friends and allies. Somehow, by the Grace of God we held them off; I came off better than most everyone. I'd almost taken a knife in my ribs."

Carefully I lifted the edge of my brother's shirt, wincing inwardly at the jagged scar that wound itself around his side like a poisonous snake.

"She sewed it up; I had a bit of fever for a few days after. I was bad off they said, but…" He shrugged his strong shoulders. "She said she refused to give up on me." An odd little smile quirked at the corner of my brother's lips, a smile that told me he was remembering her, seeing her in his mind.

"What's her name?" I asked quietly, not wanting to take the dreamy look from his face.

"Rosalie." He replied. "She had to leave to visit her aunt about the time I was asked to escort some of the more seriously crippled men back to their homes.

With great curiosity I looked down a garden path that bordered the house and Peter and I both followed it, talking companionably, more so than we had in a long while. We talked about Caspian and Rose.

It wasn't too long into this talk that Edmund showed up with Eustace in tow.

Peter never mentioned my impending decision though, leaving the decision to speak of it, to me.

It was a strange feeling that accompanied that thought. _He's accepting that I'm not a child again, relinquishing his hold on my own decisions. _

As it was right then I did not speak of it. I knew it would only serve to burden the air between the four of us. Instead, I smiled truly, happily. Enjoyed talking and laughing with the family I had feared I'd lost.

Because even then I already knew what my choice would be.

I just didn't want to admit it, didn't want to let go of who I loved.

If there was one thing I had learned through everything, it was this…

Eventually, a choice has to be made.

~X~X~X~

I woke with tears on my face and slowly reached up to swipe them away, ignoring the salty taste upon my lips.

I had been telling Caspian goodbye.

The steadying breath I took was shaky. I slipped my feet off the bed across the room from the sleeping Lilliandril in her bed and crossed the room, heading towards the door.

My fingers sought the pendant that lay at my throat; I traced a finger over it and walked without purpose downstairs and towards the front door.

Perhaps I just wanted a breath of air, or perhaps, somewhere inside I sensed he was already on the steps leading up to the door.

Either way, when I quietly cracked the door and slipped out of the house I saw him. He did not turn. I saw his shadowy figure, though I was not afraid.

I knew who it was.

"Why are you out here so late?" I questioned softly, so as not to startle him.

Caspian didn't answer my question. "Why is it I feel there's something you've kept from me?" He asked one of his own.

I frowned slightly, twinging inside a little guiltily.

"You won't deny it?" He asked.

I looked at his broad, shadowy shoulders. "I cannot deny it."

He turned around agonizingly slowly. "Will it be I'm to ask or will you still not tell me?"

"It's not something I wish to tell you right now. Not…yet." I replied hesitantly.

His hand reached and caught my smaller one, drawing me close to him. "When do you think you can tell me?"

I tried not to tremble at his touch, but it was a difficult thing. "Perhaps, later today." And when I received no reply I asked him again. "Why are you out here so late?"

His shoulders stiffened a bit. "I was thinking."

I let my hand slide down his arm to his hand and wrapped my fingers around his.

"I'm glad you and Peter are not angry anymore." He muttered for lack of anything else to say.

A small, bittersweet smile touched my lips. "He doesn't want to lose his baby sister."

"But then, he doesn't have to worry about that, does he." I didn't wince at the bitterness in his voice, only wondered why I could just tell him about my choice and decision.

I knew why, though. It was because I truly was still uncertain about what I should choose, despite the feeling in my heart that I wanted to stay.

Caspian's voice interrupted my confused thoughts.

"I don't want to lose you again."

My hsaky gasp was unexpected and I whispered. "What?"

Caspian turned to face me fully and grasped both of my hands in his own larger ones. He pulled down the stone steps and onto the soft moonlight bathed grass. I might have said something, had I not been mesmerized.

The moonlight reminded me of the night he'd comforted me after one of my nightmares.

A brisk wind pulled at my nightgown and told me that it would soon be snowing in Narnia. I ignored this slight chill and studied his face as he in turn, studied me.

His dark hair was longer than normal, a bit disheveled but his skin was clean shaven for once, smooth and…it looked soft.

I would have reached out to touch his face if he hadn't murmured. "Dance with me please, Lu."

I placed my right hand on his shoulder in response, shivering at his hand on my waist as my nightgown was thin.

He pulled me with him and I let him lead me completely, a smile on my lips that couldn't have been stopped if I'd wanted to. When he spun me away from him smoothly and back, I laughed lightly.

Before I could catch my breath his mouth was against mine and I found it hard to draw a breath at all.

By the time my fingers lifted from his shoulder and were grazing his cheek, he pulled away. My cheeks burned deeply and I ducked my head forward to hide my expression from him.

Our wayward dance was continued, the wind playing along our skin, making me nervous and excited at the same time.

His movements were lithe and I closed my eyes to let him pull me around in his dance however he chose, enjoying the warmth and reassurance of his hands on my waist.

I felt one of his hands move up my back and to my shoulder, slipping down my arm to my hand as he spun me out again. This time, however, he let me go and I gasped as I twirled across the damp grass.

He wouldn't let go. I had only wait for him.

His arms went about me from behind and my back was pressed to his chest as he pulled me backwards into the steps of his dance.

I had never danced in this particular fashion, it felt more intimate. More…more of something…beautiful. Something only real love could cause.

His arm around my middle made me breathe shallowly, and when his fingers brushed my hair out of the way so his mouth could press a kiss to the nape of my neck.

"Caspian?"

My word made him raise his head. "What is it, Lu?"

I laid a hand on top of his on my waist. "Did you really mean it?" _That you don't want to lose me?_

"I don't want you to go back to England." There was a strange sound to his voice; it was wavering dangerously close to a tremble. "I want you to stay in Narnia." Now his voice did waver and my eyes filled with tears from the choice I knew I needed to tell him. "I want you to stay with me."

A small silence came between us, where I tried to come up with anything to say. My lips refused to form the words. Something damp fell against the skin at the back of my neck, and then again.

"I love you Queen Lucy."

I twisted around in his arms so I could see his face. "Caspian, I'm sorry I didn't-"

The tip of his nose grazed mine and he kissed my lips, intent on stopping my words before they formed fully. "Don't say it, Lucy. Please don't."

"But I've-" I gazed up at him in time to see a fresh tear track its way down his face and I stopped. His eyes shimmered gold as his fingers slipped through that of my left hand, he picked it up so he could kiss my fingers.

"I want you to take this."

Before I could open my mouth to try and tell him what I'd chosen, he offered me a ring.

I felt dizzy and sucked in a breath at what…what he was doing.

"Would you take this back to your true home, so that-" He hesitated, his voice gruff with the words he was trying to say. "Would you look at it sometimes and remember me?"

He placed it in my palm and I stared at it, dumbfounded.

Its stone was a deep green, on one side of it there was a carved rose with a beautifully carved leaf at the base. The other side was a lion's head, deftly carved with perfect detail. From his wispy mane to his deep set eyes.

Down the golden band was a thin, vine-like pattern twisting completely around to the other side. The green stone in the middle was oval shaped, its deep color seeming to sparkle from within by the moon's light.

My fingers felt something rough inside the band of the ring and I brought it closer…as the words registered in my mind, they came from his lips.

"Whither thou goest, I will go."

A sign of his loyalty.

He closed my fingers over the ring. "I'd only ask of you one thing if I could." His breath was warm to my cheeks.

"What would you ask, Caspian?" I whispered. I had to know, was desperate for his words.

"It doesn't matter, Lu."

I reached and cupped my hand on one side of his face. "We both know that's not true."

He touched my cheek tenderly with one hand and with the other brushed a strand of hair from my forehead. Slowly, carefully I let my fingers follow the line of his jaw.

"I need to tell you something." Our eyes met once again and I could read the pain in them.

I clutched the ring in my hand tightly, releasing the last little bit of fear that kept me from saying what I wished.

My chest rose shakily and my heart broke just a little as I said. "I choose to stay with you Caspian."

The pain in his eyes mixed with confusion and maybe a bit of sympathy, but before he could speak I did quickly so as not to let tears rule my words.

"Aslan spoke of a choice I had, He spoke of one who had given up his destiny so that I might come here again. Because of that sacrifice…" _I can stay. _I couldn't finish the sentence, tears fell lightly and I could see each of my brothers and my cousin inside each tear as it fell.

Caspian leaned close to kiss at my tears, slowly, uncertainly.

"Forgive me." He hissed as he knelt before me on the ground. "I'd only ask you Queen Lucy of the Glistening Eastern Seas to become my wife. Would you rule alongside me as my equal? Would you become my Queen, my love?"

I placed the ring back in his hands. "Always."

The cool golden ring was slipped onto my finger. He was standing again and I was glad for his strength to hold me up.

"Caspian."

His mouth was over mine, though our lips didn't quite touch.

"Hmmm?"

Somehow I couldn't stop the tears that flowed down my cheeks as bitter sweetly as they were happy. I rested my head to his chest, feeling his arms tighten about me. I clutch at him tightly.

He swiped my tears away with his fingertips and asked after a moment. "What's wrong, love?"

I raised my head to look at his beautiful eyes and didn't resist the urge to kiss him. I only paused for a moment, long enough to whisper. "I love you, Caspian." And then I touched my lips to his.

I could feel the shock inside of him as I said it, and I meant it with all my heart.

Our kiss was light at first, but warmth spread through my heart quickly and he kissed me as fiercely as he had days before when Peter had interrupted. But Peter wasn't there right then and Caspian let his lips move tenderly against as we both wished.

One of his hands rested against the back of my head and he stroked at my hair. "Why do you choose to stay, Lucy?"

"I didn't want to lose you either." He brushed his fingers over the ring on my finger.

"Thank you."

I smiled at him softly. "For what?"

"For choosing to stay, for…everything." He whispered and kissed my forehead.

One thought came to mind then. What could I tell Peter exactly?

"I'll speak with Peter tomorrow." The young king said comfortingly.

I nodded, not having the will to pursue my brother this night.

Suddenly Caspian swept me up carefully into his arms.

"What-?" I started and he smiled teasingly at me as he carried me back inside and up to Lilliandril's room.

Quietly, he moved through the door and strode across the floor to place me on the bed.

I scowled at him playfully as he pulled my blanket up about me. He touched my chin with a finger and then brushed his lips to mine again for just a moment. I couldn't say anything for fear of waking Lilliandril and Caspian knew that.

For a moment he brought his head back down near mine and he kissed my cheek. "Sleep well my beautiful Queen."

~X~X~X~

It was early when I crept downstairs in hope to find Caspian or my brothers.

I touched the ring on my finger for the dozenth time since waking and with it whispered the same words I always did.

_Thank you, Aslan._

When I reached the sitting room I peeked in and saw…Peter.

I didn't say anything, only stepped inside the doorway and my brother said. "So that's it then?" I offered a steady smile to my brother's back and he turned to look at me and the ring on my finger.

"That's it."

~X~X~X~

My brothers both approached me in the gardens outside the castle in Calormen. Their faces were stiff with foreboding, though they tried to smile. I knew them too well.

I darted over to them, asking. "What's happened?"

Edmund touched my arm in a reassuring manner, to calm the sudden fearful beat to my heart. "It would seem that our time is up."

I turned my head slightly to keep them from seeing my eyes and their expression. _I knew this would come. _I told myself, but it didn't lessen the ache that came back into my heart.

_Caspian. _I spotted him as he saw me and I knew he could sense what was happening without hearing anything.

He came to my side quickly, his arm falling to my waist lightly in a comforting way. I saw Peter's eyes fall to Caspian's display of affection with…a sad expression.

"When?" Caspian wasted no time in asking the abrupt question that no one wanted to hear the answer to.

"We have the rest of this day." Edmund replied and I sighed deeply, feeling Caspian's arm tighten a little as he felt my body rise with the shaky breath.

"We should ride." I spoke into the silence between us. After all it was only fitting that the two kings of old disappear much as they had over 1,300 years before as they ruled a prosperous kingdom through the Golden Age.

Peter offered a nod. "Meet us in the stable in a bit, Lu. I want to speak with Caspian."

I glanced up to Caspian's face and was given a little kiss on the lips in reward. "Will you ride with Dannsair, Sparrow or me on Destrier?"

My cheeks reddened as I knew Peter was watching our exchange. Caspian's lips curved roguishly as he waited for my answer.

"I'll ride…" I met his eyes. "Valor."

A wide grin spread upon his face. "I knew you would help him. It's a fitting name. Have you told him yet?"

I shook my head in response. "I was waiting to tell you."

"When you come to the stable you can tell him then." He leaned and kissed my cheek softly. "Hurry back, Lu."

I only nodded at him. If I said anything I was afraid I might give into a newfound impulse to give him an exuberant kiss. I shook my head at myself as he walked back over to Peter and headed towards the stable.

My exuberance was quickly replaced by the feeling of a great sadness again as I watched their retreating backs.

"It is not an easy thing to choose between those you love, Aslan." I whispered before turning and heading towards the castle.

**Alright. Review? Please? :) **


	23. We Danced

_**Hey. Remember me? Yeah, I did finish this chapter. I promise not to let everybody wonder what will happen with this story. I will finish it. *pinky promise* :D**_

**Chapter 22~ We Danced**

When I entered the castle and started towards the kitchens to prepare a picnic for our day out riding, two men fell to either side of me.

"Sir Thomas," I acknowledged with a straight face, "And Lord James."

"Perhaps you would like to explain what exactly is going on?" This came from James.

"Or why…" Thomas picked up my left hand, forcing me to stop. "Why I'm hearing certain things about this. Why you wear it."

I blushed heartily, but said calmly and softly. "You know why."

James clutched the fingers of my right hand and brought them to his lips. "You have my best wishes, Queen Lucy."

Thomas touched my cheek and smiled at me, leaning to kiss me on the cheek, not quite a brotherly gesture but I knew he would never overstep his bounds, not now. "And you have my congratulations, Queen Lucy."

I shrugged away from both men's affectionate actions and walked on, grasping their hands as I went, pulling them along with me.

"You are two of my greatest friends and I'd wish you to ride out with my brothers, Caspian and I."

"And here I thought that was a given." Thomas grinned, tugging at a strand of my hair.

I was in the kitchen before too long and Elle greeted me with a sympathetic look to which I offered a shaky smile.

"There now, Lucy. I'm sure you'll be coming back soon enough."

"Oh!" Realization came to mind that Elle did not know about my staying in Narnia. I'd not had a chance to truly talk to her, but it surprised me that she did not know with all the gossip flowing through the castle.  
>As she came to give me a motherly hug I said, "I am not the one who's leaving."<p>

Elle looked at me patiently, "What do you mean, child?"

"I was given a choice and I've chosen to stay in Narnia. For good." I murmured softly.

Her eyes glowed with happiness and she caught me in another hug. "Then my prayers have been answered! I'd not want to lose the young woman I think of as my own daughter."

Tears escaped the woman's eyes and I felt my own burn with the prospect. I held them back knowing there would be plenty of that when it finally came down on me that I wouldn't see my brothers again or my cousin or my parents. I forced a tight smile, "Will you help me prepare food for a picnic today?"

"Yes, yes of course." Elle hurriedly swiped at her eyes. "Pay no attention to this sentimental old fool."

I reached to hug the woman warmly again, "Thank you, Elle."

She smiled by way of reply and then we set about making up our picnic.

I was back in the stable before too long, slowing as I entered the dim interior and heard Peter and Caspian's deep voices deep in discussion. Now what kind of girl would I be if, after everything, I was not curious as to what they were saying?

Though, I suppose it wasn't that difficult to figure out. I suspected they'd be discussing me and that Peter…was not threatening but ordering Caspian on what would happen when he was no longer there anymore.

"Do you truly believe you'll wed?" Peter's voice came to me, stark and demanding.

"She accepted, Peter. You know she wouldn't have said something that serious and not meant it." Caspian's words were adamant.

"She's not like us two fools." Peter muttered back.

Caspian's laugh wasn't really humorous, more mocking of himself. "She is a wise young woman."

"More so than us I'd wager at times." Peter's laugh echoed Caspian's.

There was a small silence before Caspian asked, "So you've given your consent, then?"

Peter's voice was deep, husky as he said, "I have your word that you will always honor her, protect her with your life and love her with all your being?"

I closed my eyes and could picture Peter gazing at Caspian with such intensity etched into his noble brow. Caspian, with confidence in his brown eyes, equally a king of Narnia.

"You've my word on my life."

"Lucy!" A voice said into my ear and I swung about, balled fist catching my surprise visitor in the stomach.

"Oof." Thomas grunted, startled.

I rolled my eyes at him, "I'm sorry, but you should know not to do that by now."

Thomas grinned, brushing off my attack good-naturedly, "Eavesdropping, are we?"

"Lucy? Is that you?" Peter called out and I blushed, rewarding Thomas with a sharp look to keep him quiet. He chuckled at me as Peter and Caspian appeared from around the corner from where I stood.

I offered Peter the large basket I carried.

"I'll be back in a moment with Valor!" Without waiting for a reply I darted off in the direction of his stall.

Before too long I was joined though. The horse had been silent up until then, but he asked, "Is something wrong Your Majesties?"

A gentle hand touched my shoulder, letting me know it was Caspian without turning around. The warmth that consumed my body at the touch could come from no other.

I moved to smooth a blanket over Valor's back, fully aware of Caspian's watchful eyes on me.

"Nothing is wrong Sparrow." Caspian replied easily, "Though Lucy has a great surprise for you."

I smiled at the horse as he looked upon me with great brown eyes, "Oh! What s-surprise, My Queen?"

"I've thought of a name worthy of such a majestic horse."

The horse snorted in protest, "O-oh Queen Lucy, I cannot- I am not worthy."

I cut him off gently, "You are ten times worthy, Valor."

Caspian continued my statement, "Only a horse of great courage and perseverance could have done what you did."

"And what is a horse of those things? A horse of Valor." I smiled softly at the young horse, pride for him in my blue eyes.

Valor's skin twitched before he struck out with a front hoof, one leg bending underneath his body as he went down into an elegant bow. "I- I am eternally grateful Your Majesty."

I grinned, waiting for him to stand once more and then smoothed the blanket again. "You are welcome, my friend."

Caspian lifted the saddle easily and placed it on Valor's back before I could blink, fastening it in place.

"I can saddle him." I looked up at him dryly.

Caspian finished fastening the cinch before turning to look at me with a smile, "I can do it for you though."

I moved to slip the bridle over Valor's ears. "Perhaps I don't want you to."

Caspian's hands caught me about the waist when I'd finished and he swung me around to face him, lifting my chin slightly. "And why would that be?"

I raised my chin a little higher. "I am not a helpless girl." I did regret my harsher words because I knew I was in an odd mood. It was a reflection of what I was feeling in my heart at the thought of losing my brothers.

Caspian touched the tip of my chin gently. "I know that. Your fragility is equaled by your fierce spirit."

His description had me avoiding his eyes and he leaned his head closer to mine. "I know you're upset, love. You cannot hide that from me."

My vision swam for a second as tears flooded my eyes. I blinked them away, trying not to look at him directly, a poor attempt to try and hide my feelings anyway.

Slowly he leaned and pressed a kiss to my lips, making my stomach flutter.

"You can tell me anything."

I smiled shakily, looking into his eyes. I'd never been able to resist that urge since I'd first met him. This, ironically enough, was when he and Peter had been trying to kill one another.

"I'm sorry." He said after a moment, his voice equally angry as it was sad.

"For what?" I asked, confused.

His jaw was stiff, he seemed mad at himself.

"What-" I started carefully and he grasped my shoulders lightly, but firmly to stop me.

"You don't have to stay, Lu." He hissed, his dark eyes flaming with passion.

I stared at the dark eyes King, wondering at his words. "You'd rather I go?" I tried to keep the tremble from my voice.

He grabbed my hands and pulled me bodily to him, slipping his arms around me tightly. He mumbled something unintelligible before saying into my ear, "If I could keep you with me and know you would always be happy, I would. But as long as you're this upset I won't keep you from what makes you the happiest."

A few tears fell from my eyes as I tried to picture myself leaving Narnia again, after everything that had happened. Never seeing Caspian again, never feeling his mouth burning so hotly against mine that I couldn't draw a breath…my stomach felt ill.

"No!" I gasped, holding tightly to him, "I-," My voice trembled, despite my efforts to keep it steady. "I can't leave you, not again."

He kissed my forehead, "I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry." I whispered, "I'd not trade your love for anything." I swiped at my face, dabbing tears away. "We should go. Peter and the others will be waiting."

Caspian pulled me tight once again, hugging me warmly before releasing me. He looked as if he wanted to say something but then changed his mind.

I moved and pulled Valor's bridle, leading him from the stall to mount. Caspian stayed silent behind me, ever the brooding King and grasped me about the waist and lifted me upon Valor's back.

It wasn't too much later that we were all headed off, for the last time. Only one thought stood in my mind. _This is the last time I'll see my brothers. _

_~X~X~_

Valor's steady gait did nothing to comfort me today, not with the impending departure.

_Aslan help me not to cry and make them feel guilt or pity for me. _I wasn't sure I'd be able to take the sympathy in everyone's eyes if I allowed my tears to come. I was the Warrior Queen and as such I'd had plenty of experience forcing my demeanor as stiff and unfeeling as possible.

So that's what I did. I bit my lip against tears, forcing them back, straightened my shoulders, raised my head with a proud air and finally, twisted my lips into something besides a deep-set frown.

I rode up between my brothers and received welcoming grins. "There you are, Lu!"

I kept my eyes on Valor's ears, avoiding my brothers' eyes since that was the easiest way to tell my feelings.

"Peter?" I called my oldest brother's name…though I wasn't even sure what I wanted to ask.

"Yes, Lu?" He acknowledged.

I stared between the horse's ears, studying their shape as if that was the most fascinating thing I'd ever seen. "Do you ever wish that you could stay?"

Peter seemed to think about that for a moment. "Sometimes I wish for it," He started and his eyes grew distant. A small smile appeared upon his face. "But I would not stay here, not anymore. Not unless I could bring someone with me, I suppose."

My heart felt pained at the thought of Peter refusing to stay in Narnia, but I understood. I did. He didn't want to lose the chance of loving someone as deeply as I'd come to love Caspian.

"I only hope she is worthy of my brother the High King." I replied softly.

He smiled at me comfortingly, "I suppose I can only hope that I am worthy of her."

_You are ten times worthy, my brother. _I peered at Edmund who'd been completely silent until then.

"What about you, Ed?" I questioned curiously.

Edmund shifted on his mount and looked up into the radiant Narnian sky. "I would stay if I knew I wasn't needed in England."

I gazed at him intrigued, his choice of words making me wonder what he'd been told. "Needed, Ed?"

He gave me a smile, "Aslan said as much, Lu. I'm not really sure." He offered a shrug of his strong shoulders.

I nodded slightly, letting a comfortable silence fall between us until I remembered a subject I needed to broach.

"Ed, Peter?" I waited until they both afforded me their attentions again before saying, "What can we tell Mum and Daddy?"

Peter's expression never changed, though his eyes revealed how torn he was. "Ed and I've been talking about that."

I cast Edmund a glance. "And?"

"I suppose…" Peter hesitated and Edmund finished his sentence.

"The only way would be to tell them you've…died."

I cringed inwardly, not outwardly because I had known what the answer would be. I had only barely hoped for something else.

"Then the only thing to is how it happened." I swallowed bitterly, the words a bad taste in my mouth.

"You don't need to worry Lu, we'll manage." Peter replied, his voice meant to be comforting. At least he was trying.

I grimaced by way of reply. "I only want to help."

Peter pulled his mount to a stop and gestured for Edmund to ride on, which he ignored. "It isn't something you have to think about. We will be alright. I'm more worried for you staying here." His words were a reflection of the king he used to be.

I raised my head to meet his eyes. "You said you would not question me."

He pulled his horse's head around so that his horse was standing shoulder to shoulder with Valor. His eyes flashed.

"I do not question you, but what kind of brother would I be if I didn't try to stop from losing my sister?" He grasped my shoulder, "What kind of man would I be if I chose to listen to every voice but ignored the voice of even one? A man believed of treason and so many sentenced him to death."

He was talking about a time in the Golden Age. I remembered it as clearly as my own reflection.

Someone had caused a stir in town near Cair. A newcomer. Dark-skinned and bold. Then things started happening. Valued goods were stolen and rumors began to spread like wildfire through towns and cities.

And finally someone was killed. Susan's lady in waiting, I recalled. Her husband had been shot. By accident a few dared to say, and then the blame had fallen upon the dark-skinned man's shoulders. Afterwards more people were found dead.

People accused fearfully and angrily. Investigations ensued, but eventually it came to a hearing.

I had stood by glaring angrily after Peter because I'd honestly believed the man to be innocent and he'd seemed distant to the mere idea of it as he'd walked before our people to condemn the man of his crimes.

And then…to my greatest shock Peter walked before the Narnian's who believed the man to be guilty and judged him innocent.

Peter must have read the remembrance in my eyes as he said, "What kind of man would I be if I hear the voice of one and ignored the other, neither can I ignore wanting to keep you from doing what you want, even when I believe you when you say it's the right choice."

Unwanted tears shone in my eyes. "If there is one thing, Peter, even once, this is the one decision that I believe in all my heart is right."

Peter's hand jerked suddenly and he looked away, looked ahead of us. His voice was gruff, "We need to move on."

The others were already disappearing down the road towards the forest beyond Calormen's bustling city. We were between Calormen and Cair Pairavel. With reluctance I let my brother go on without protest of his words.

I knew what he meant. I knew I would have been doing the same thing.

And I would be doing it for the exact same reasons.

Because I didn't want to lose those I loved.

I could not and would not fault him for caring.

With a little sigh I went on, falling back into the easy pace of Valor's gait with the others. It was hours later that we stopped on the magnificent white beach below Cair, mutually agreeing that this would be the best place to have our picnic together.

It was nearing evening I knew, even though the sun still sat quite high in the sky. It's golden rays shimmered off the water creating little swirls of liquid gold to lap at my feet if I ventured close enough to the water's edge.

The others gathered behind me one by one. I sensed their movement as I did not turn to stare at them.

"What do you believe has happened in England?" It was an odd question…or perhaps it just seemed so to me since I would not be returning.

"I don't suppose much of anything, Lu. You know how time is between England and Narnia." It was Edmund that answered me.

I turned slowly around to look at Caspian, Thomas, James, Eustace and my brothers.

They all appeared on edge, waiting for me to say something. To cry or screech in frustration, releasing my inner tirade.

I did none of those, only smiled delicately and asked, "Shall we eat gentlemen?"

Everyone seemed to release a breath at once and move to make their behavior seem normal. Food was passed around and I settled upon a blanket between with Peter and Caspian.

I found it extraordinarily easy almost to forget why we were there, more easily than it had any right to be, but I found that I did not mind.

I laughed and talked with the young men around me, letting their teasing waft over me and seemingly sinking into my soul to remember always.

I couldn't forget this.

I couldn't.

It would be the next chapter in my story journal, that, I vowed. I'd write down every meager detail.

Suddenly, I had an idea. It dragged me out of my deep thoughts and onto my feet rather abruptly.

"Lucy, what is it?" Peter asked.

I sent him a playful look and grinned. "Come, let's play in the waves!" I suggested, stooping to grab Peter's hand and pull him as if I were eleven again and begging to play hide and seek.  
>I grinned at my brother, "Come on, Peter! Please!" It was the same thing I'd said that first day I'd discovered Narnia.<p>

I saw the remembrance in my brother's eyes and he jumped to his feet only a moment later with a wide grin. Ed was up and following in an instant too, the others following curiously.

I ran towards the water, pulling my shoes off as I went and tossing them down carelessly as if I was dropping a burdensome weight.  
>I pulled my skirt up and let the cool water tease at my bare skin for a moment. Then, I saw Ed turn his back from me and with a fluid lunge U caught him in the back.<p>

He floundered against the sudden weight, unstable and wobbling he went headfirst into the salty water.

"Agh!" He gasped as his head cleared the water again. "Lucy!"

I darted backwards as my brother regained his footing, preparing to come after me.

"Eeee!" I squealed a little as I splashed further down the beach. Caspian appeared in front of me and my eyes widened at his smirk. I lunged to the side, away from him only to find Peter and Eustace blocking my way. I twirled to see Thomas and James blocking my last exit.

I paused and that was all it took. With a whooping war cry from all they lunged forward, dousing me soundly.

I squealed in protest as the cold water soaked through my dress, making the material stick to my legs. I dove wildly towards Caspian, the surge of the next wave knocking us both off our feet.

"Caspian!"

His reply was garbled. I laughed outright as he looked my way, his dark hair haphazard over his face and mouth partially open in shock. The laughter felt good.

Our water battle continued for a while, until every one of us was soaked completely through and we finally collapsed breathlessly on the shore.

I gazed at the evening sky with an easy smile. Dusk's array of colors teased us with the last bit of golden light of day.

Aslan smiled on us that night, for the nights had been growing cold, but tonight a warmth surrounded the seven of us and no one felt the biting chill of fall.

Stars appeared one by one. Slowly enough that I supposed I might have been able to count them all as slowly as I wanted.

We were quiet among ourselves, until I sensed one of the young men move. It was James who asked, "What is England like?"

Peter, Edmund and Eustace spoke almost simultaneously.

"It's loud." Peter.

"Everything is always moving." Edmund.

"People seem unfriendly to a certain point." Eustace.

Thomas gently prodded me in the shoulder after they spoke and asked, "What is your opinion, Lu?"

I stared at the stars, a tiny smile on my lips, a foreign look to my eyes I was sure. "Distant." I murmured, "Distant and cold. Narnia is so warm and inviting, even on its coldest days. London has become almost nothing to me as a home."

None of the men spoke so I felt the need to go on.

"London is loud and some of the people are distant and unfriendly, but there are those who are kind and loving." I paused, thinking, "The greatest thing is that in Narnia you can have the opportunity to see…" I sat up and gestured in every direction with my arms and hands. "This. And in London you have to go a long way to see it like you see it now.

"The stars?" James asked, questioningly.

I smiled sweetly. "Yes, but not just that…it's more. There's a certain beauty that surrounds Narnia at all times, even when things are bleak. London seems to have left that particular kind of beauty in its past."

The men stayed silent, probably still expecting some sort of outburst from me. I did not grant them the tears and instead rolled over so I could be more comfortable as I looked up at the stars.

I found, however, that the stars weren't the beauty I wanted to see tonight. I found what I was looking for as I sat up once more, drawing legs beneath me and saw the firelight playing off the young men's faces.

It revealed the dimple in Thomas' cheek, warmed the coolness in James' eyes, melted into the firm line of Caspian's jaw, smoothed Edmund's aristocratic features, made Peter's watchful eyes gentle and revealed Eustace's playful grin.

Somehow I fell back into a comfortable position and drifted off into a peaceful sleep. Though, I was awakened by someone calling my name.

"Lucy." It was hushed, trying not to draw any more attention than what was needed.

It was enough. I sat up straight, the long nights of the past few months drawing back instincts I'd left behind in England. I felt more susceptible now, more the Queen I once was and now have become again.

Valor stood near me and I could see the whites of his eyes in the early morning light, betraying his fear.

"What is it, Valor?" I asked quietly, standing carefully and laying a hand on his neck comfortingly.

"The K- kings, Queen Lucy. They've left."

My breath stilled in my chest. _What? _I wanted to screech at the animal.

"They went that way," Valor's head went to the left, to what would lead beyond Cair's beach and to a short stretch of forest before coming to a small clearing. "Not too long ago."

It was time. I knew it would come, I just hadn't expected them to leave without telling me goodbye. Maybe they were only going for a walk?

I patted Valor on the shoulder. "Stay here, my friend. I'll go look for them. Tell the others where I've gotten to if they wake while I'm gone."

I scarcely waited for his reply before I took off in the direction my last remaining family had gone. I was about halfway through the stretch of trees when I sensed a difference in the air. I took a deep breath…the air was sweet and damp as if someone had sprayed perfume all over the land, but not quite enough to be sickeningly sweet.  
>As I broke through the trees finally, I was met with a golden mist-like fog. It was oddly beautiful, though it became that I could not see any more than a few feet in front of myself because of it.<p>

I walked straight ahead, and then stopped to turn in a full circle inside the misty fog.

"Peter!" I called out, wondering if perhaps they'd gotten lost inside the mist. "Edmund! Eustace!"

"Lucy?" Peter's voice was faint. As if he were a long way off.

"Where are you?" I shouted, trying to determine what direction he might be.

"Here, Lucy! Stay still and keep talking!" Edmund's voice sounded closer than Peter had.

"Keep walking, Ed, you're closest to me, I think." I responded. "Peter, is Eustace with you?"

"I'm here Lu!" My cousin's voice came from behind me and I jumped in surprise.

"Eustace!"

He grinned teasingly. "Scared, Lu?"

I scowled playfully. "Not as scared as you'll be if you sneak up on me again."

He raised his hands as if to hold back my wrath and I swatted at him, smiling with relief as my brothers appeared in front of us, their bodies shrouded in mist.

Peter caught my hand and stared down at me seriously. "It's time, Lucy."

I wrapped fingers around my brothers, tears burning at me eyes suddenly. "I know." I dropped his hand so that I could wrap my arms around him tightly. "You know I could never hate you Peter." I whispered into his chest.

My brother pried my grip loose long enough where he could stoop and look directly into my eyes. "Are you sure this is what you want, Lu?"

I closed my eyes against tears and nodded, lips pressed tightly together to hold back an outburst of emotion.

His fingers ran over the ring on my finger. "He's a good man Lu. I know he'll take care of you." He paused, ever the king as he pierced me with his eyes. "Promise me that you will be careful."

"I will, Peter." I gazed up at my eldest brother for the last time in what would be a lifetime. "Be careful with…everything in England."

Peter nodded, moving to let Edmund move to my side. I took my time hugging him. "Thank you for what you've done."

Edmund's emotions betrayed him as he hid his face in my hair as he hugged me. "Anytime, Lu."

Eustace hugged me warmly and I paused to look at my cousin fully. "I can never repay you for what you gave me, cousin." I murmured.

"You don't have to Lucy. I know you would have done twice that for me and knowing that… it's enough."

I bit my lip at what was happening. Nothing comes without some sort of price.

In turn I grasped Peter and Edmund's hands, pulling both men and my cousin into a circle with me. I let the mist soak into my soul, looking upon the faces of my family.

_I love you, Peter. _

_I love you, Edmund. _

_I love you, Eustace._

I closed my eyes on the silent words, hearing a voice greater than all.

"Your choice is made, Dear One. Your brother's will be safe."

Tears slipped down my cheeks and I could feel their hands slipping from my grasp…

Then, they were gone.

I stood in that spot for a long time, silent, still. The sweet mist around me was a blanket, hiding me from the world I'd chosen.

His arms were around me before I ever heard him come up behind me and I let him hold me.

"Lucy." He murmured into my hair.

I found his fingers and slid mine through softly, pulling away to lift our joined hands between us. My cheeks damp with my tears… I stared up at the choice I'd made.

"I'm glad I found you again."

Caspian did not smile, but looked at me tenderly, his eyes revealing the depth of his emotion and drawing me in like a spell. "No more so than I." He grasped my other hand and placed it on his shoulder, and then it went to rest on my waist. "You are my heart, Queen Lucy."

"And you are mine, my King." There was quiet all around us, so peaceful. I was thankful for it. Despite the silence, Caspian pulled me into a dance, slow and sweet.

I pondered the nights he'd held me, comforting me. I remembered the song he'd sung so tenderly. As if he could read my thoughts I felt his chest rumble as he hummed a low melody, captivating me once more.

I stopped him, the song unbearable with him so close and tempting.

His mouth came to mine as I asked for his kiss. He pulled me tight, letting his lips burn hotly into mine as I let him kiss me soundly, no holding back. He tasted so sweet…I wanted more of his kiss. His mouth caressed my own until I finally had to pull away…

I pressed a hand to my chest and tried not to gasp for a breath even though I desperately needed air.

He was quiet, besides his ragged breathing.

Neither of us spoke and when he did make a sound again he sang to me, just as he had before. His hands slid from my waist to hold my hands…and then we span.

It was perfect. Our bodies moving so soundly together that I could not deny he made me feel perfect. We made up a dance through our field of sparkling mist, laughing as we went.

One must, in their lifetime, learn to love with abandon. Though, perhaps it's not something you can learn. It's something you have to truly experience and then you'll know what's real and what isn't. Love isn't just enjoying a kiss mind you, only I think enjoying a kiss so much is because you love that person.

Real love is knowing that you'd lay down your life for them willingly.

And so, my friends…what happened then?

Well…

We danced.

**Mkay. How was that? Not the longest, but fear not…this isn't the end and I'm writing the other chapter now…so don't send the assassins yet. ;) Reviews, pwease? **


	24. The Bond That Shall Not Be Broken

**HEY! GUESS WHAT! Here is that chapter I've been promising! **** So READ!  
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**Chapter 23- **_**The Bond That Shall Not Be Broken**_

The dawn of a very special came quickly and though I knew it was coming, it still shocked me when it arrived. I was still caught deep in a peaceful slumber when the door to my chambers flew open.  
>I was up and reaching for a dagger without hardly a breath. When I saw the man who stood before me I dropped my knife and fell back onto my bed in exasperation.<p>

"Have we not had this encounter before?"

Thomas laughed heartily, "Is someone a bit nervous before she is to be wed?"

"The Warrior Queen is never nervous!" I exclaimed dramatically, sitting up again.

That was such an outright lie that I couldn't keep my serious face in place and raised my hands to flushed cheeks, giggling.

_How unnatural. _

"Oh, what a relief that is." Thomas replied dryly.

I placed a hand over my lips, trying to stop my giggling. "What-" I gasped for breath, grasping my stomach with my mirth. "Why did you come?"

He grinned, thoroughly enjoying my hysterics I believe.

"Elle sent me to wake you. She has everything planned and in place for you," He paused and raised an eyebrow mockingly as I pulled on a robe over my nightclothes, "I think perhaps you have a need to be frightened."

~X~X~

Now, how do you begin to describe something like your own wedding?

Every miniscule detail stands out. Every detail stood out to me, even though I only stood above it all.

The people bustled to and fro putting the last decorations in place and a lot of them were whispering amongst themselves, speculating about the marriage of a Queen of Old and the King who now led the Narnia people of a new era.

I could only stare. My eyes sought everything they could from the balcony of Elle's room. I'd been hidden away up here since Thomas had come for me this morning, excluding the few times I'd snuck downstairs to gaze ever more at the wedding to come. I suppose there's not really a need to say I'd been caught and ushered back to this room both times.

So now, I only waited.

I had not even seen my dress yet. I could hardly imagine a more glorious gown than the one I'd worn to the ball, but then I'd also learned not to doubt Elle's ability.

And of things I had not seen…I'd not laid eyes on Caspian for three days now. I couldn't quite make myself calm about that. We'd been apart longer and that wasn't a terribly long time but I suppose with the wedding today…it made me nervous.

I wanted him to pull me close and whisper that calm back into my heart. To feel his touch on my bare skin…

I closed my eyes and let my mind wander a bit further than I should have. But with the wedding today and no one with me, where else would my mind have gone?

Tonight was our wedding night. I couldn't pretend like I didn't know what that inferred.

Caspian and I would enter into a- our, room as man and wife. We would sleep together as one, his warm body next to mine, as close as two people could be.

Back in England I remembered a day when I was really young and Mum and Daddy had taken us all to church. The large robust man in the pulpit had frightened me back then, but his loud words echoed in my ears like a distant memory.

"And they twain shall be one flesh…" (Mark 10:8)

We would be one flesh. I'll fully admit that thinking of tonight made me both uncomfortable and…excited. Although excited doesn't seem strong enough a word to describe it. There was no shame in it I knew. We would be married in a few hours.

I shivered with anticipation.

Caspian would be so handsome, waiting for me as I walked under the shade of a dozen trees on either side of me. The sharp air of late fall would be crisp this evening and sweet to our lungs, but not too cold.

_Absolutely perfect. _

The sun would smile on us, a reflection of my mood. Though my family being absent was something I still had trouble coming to terms with. Nothing could keep happiness away from this day though.

Caspian was the new king of Narnia. I was a Queen of Old. But today I would be bound by his side forever, ruling alongside him as his Queen of this great land once more.

I heard a scuffling at the door and turned abruptly, leaving my thoughts behind as I looked at the door.

"Are you supposed to be a prisoner on your wedding day?" Caspian's teasing made me smile instantaneously.

"Elle has refused to let me lay eyes on you until the wedding itself." I called, dancing lightly across the room to the door.

"And does the beautiful bride to be refuse let her King inside?" He laughed. "I thought I'd never get rid of James and Thomas. They are-"

"Plotting against us, obviously." I finished, giggling. "Shall I unlock the door?"

"It would be easier than climbing up to the balcony," He sighed as if exasperated. "But if that's what I must do, then I will see the Lady in a moment."

I heard retreating footsteps and slipped the lock open, cracking the door open to stop him.

"Caspian!"

His smirking face poked around the corner nonchalantly, nearly right beside me and I shrieked with surprise. Which was a surprise within itself, because I never shriek.

I pushed the door open, retreating back inside and he followed.

He grasped my hands, squeezing lightly. "Are you ready, my Queen?'

I did not look at him. "I am." And I knew I was with all my heart, but my voice sounded strange to my own ears. Caspian dropped my hands and turned to look me full in the eyes.

"We don't have to do this today if it's making you uncomfortable."

"No!" I exclaimed, more shrieked actually. "Of course I want to marry you. Today!"

"Then what's wrong Lu?" He ran a hand through his dark hair, betraying worry and a little exasperation, only real this time.

I bit my lip softly. "I need to do something." The thought formed on my lips before I could stop or contemplate on it.

He stared at me for a long instant before nodding. "Be careful and hurry back please."

I grinned up at him. "I always am, aren't I?"

Caspian smiled but offered up a patronizing look. "Which is why you have a scar here." He touched my arm, slipping his fingers beneath my sleeve and caressing my shoulder lightly.

I sighed softly, enjoying the feel of his skin on mine.

"Tell me where you're going, Lu."

"To see Aslan," I replied evenly. "I fear he's become restless," I smiled a little sadly. "He is not a tame lion after all." It sounded so much like Mr. Tumnus so many years ago. He'd always watched out for me so well.

_Whatever happened to that handkerchief anyway? _I wondered briefly.

"I thought he'd be at the wedding." Caspian sounded surprised.

"Oh, he will be." I answered quickly, "He'll be watching over us. But I wish to speak with him before we're wed."

One of his fingers tapped my chin lightly, thoughtfully. "I will not see you again until then, my Queen."

I stood on tiptoes to run my fingers over his jaw. "I want nothing more this day than to be your bride. Never think differently." I gazed at him earnestly. "Okay?"

He touched his lips to mine, tightening his grip on my waist as his mouth parted against mine and my eyes closed.

_What is it about him that makes me feel as if I'm not in control? _

Completely reckless and yet, safe.

I knock came at the door and he groaned softly to my mouth. I leaned forward in response kissing him soundly for a moment longer despite James calling out from outside the room.

"Lucy? Are you still in there?"

Caspian sighed, his breath warm on my cheeks. "I'll see you soon, my love."

I nodded. "Lean down." He did as I said and I placed a hand on either side of his head, promting him to look up at me. I kissed his forehead warmly, stroking his hair.  
>"Thank you." I murmured, a more insistent knocking following my words.<p>

"Lucy!"

"One moment! I'm…not decent!" I called out instinctively and Caspian smirked, the moment gone as he raised an eyebrow at me.

I swatted at him and pushed him towards the opposite room. "I'll get rid of him so you can leave."

Caspian's figure disappeared as I went to open the door.

My blond haired friend entered swiftly, looking about suspiciously. "Elle sent me to make sure you're staying out of trouble."

"Oh," I could almost hear Caspian chuckling to himself. "I'm being good."

James raised a blonde brow archly, his blue eyes as piercing as they'd ever been. "Now, I don't believe that." He held my eyes captive for a moment looking stern, but then his mouth twitched at the edges with good humor.

I laughed at him. "And what reason do you have to doubt me, milord?"

"Is he still in here?" He asked, still looking on with suspicion.

I pursed my lips to keep from giggling, but Caspian appeared in answer to his question.

"Just leaving though." Caspian offered with a wink at me.

"Ah." James grinned good-naturedly. "I see."

~X~X~

As soon as the two young men left my room I slipped out and made my way to my chambers, giving the excuse of a change of clothes for the ride to Caspian and I's cottage for our honeymoon. No one stopped me, but they did make sure I went into my room.

Once there, I grasped a green cloak and pulled it around my shoulders and head to shield me from the chill of an early winter as much as from the curious eyes of my people.

And then…out the window I went, climbing to the sloping roof as I had so many months ago. I shivered involuntarily remembering the witch woman I'd fought up here. I hurried as fast as I could across and down the roof, making my way to the stables, seeking Dannsair in one of the back pastures.

She would be my fastest way out of here without being spotted.

Even with so many people bustling around I managed to find the golden horse and leave Calormen without too many problems.

We trotted along in silence until my eyes caught a flash of tawny hair.

"Stop here, Dannsair."

She snorted quietly as I slipped from her back.

"You know this is strangely like a few other times." She commented dryly. "And then someone comes flying out of the woods to slaughter us."

"Don't be so dramatic." I ordered her teasingly.

"I don't even know how you manage to keep talking me into these things," She went on despite me. "You'd think I would learn by now, but no. I'm still an old fool. I must be getting senile in my old age."

"You're not that old." I reminded her as I wandered further into the forest. She trailed behind, still babbling.

"And then there's Destrier. I'm not even sure I'm ready to have a foal. But I'm excited and-"

What?!" It sounded like a shriek. "You're with foal?" I halted and darted back to her side, surveying her sleek body in astonishment. "How? What?"

Dannsair looked positively indignant. "You know perfectly well how, Queen Lucy."

I grasped around for coherent words. "Destrier?" I choked out, trying to decide if I should laugh hysterically or blush.

"Of course, no other." The golden horse seemed to roll her big eyes at me and I threw my hands up laughingly.

"Well now we know nothing can surprise me. We'll have to think of a name for the little one."

"Yes, all in time. But first, don't you have something you need to take care of?" She tossed her head forward and I swung about to see a large lion waiting for me, his eyes glowing amber in the waning daylight.

"Aslan!" I ran to him, feeling like a little girl running to her father with open arms. "I've missed you!"

"And I, you, my child." He looked past me to Dannsair. "Have no fear, for a new life is a blessing to all. You carry one who will, in time, aid the young King and Queen in the new age. A brave heart you carry."

The winged horse shivered, seeming to stand on the tips of her hooves. "Thank you. I shall do my best by you." She bowed in reverence.

"I know you will." Aslan looked to me then, but spoke to her still. "You may return as you like. Queen Lucy has a need to speak with me alone."

She complied easily, returning as we'd come. I watched until she disappeared above us, in smooth flight back towards the city. I then turned to look at Aslan.

"Climb on."

I obeyed silently and held on tight as he took off into a run. My hair whipped out of its neat braid and slapped around me wildly.

I closed my eyes and let that feeling take me.

_He is not a tame lion._

To feel something that wild is…beauty. Icy wind made me lean closer and for a moment it was like I was looking through his eyes. Perhaps one does not understand the world completely if they haven't seen it through untamed eyes.

When we finally came to a stop we stood above…everything. Or so it appeared.

Snow swirled slowly around us so far up here. It was beautiful, glorious. I turned my face up to its icy embrace, welcoming the chill."

"You are troubled, Dear One."

I sat down complacently in front of him, resting a hand on his neck for comfort.

"I sometimes fear that a Queen of Old has no part in a new age and that I will bring nothing but trouble and sorrow as Caspian's wife."

"Have courage, child. I have overcome this world. Do not fear the young King as your equal. You will lift each other up out of sorrow and in beauty. You lead as one. Without you his path is increasingly difficult. With you, your paths are one, twined together, though time will give you each challenges. Your binding in marriage is a great thing for this land. But to one it destroys everything."

My head jerked up, startled. "What do you mean, to one?"

"There is one who seeks you, my child. For good, for evil. She watches and she waits for the right time. She seeks not to kill.

"Then what?" My mind spun at the possibilities and danger.

"That is what you must find out." His wise old eyes held me in place, solemn, filled with a truth I was only beginning to understand. "I tell you not to fear this day, for what she seeks…she cannot change the paths of all. Your destiny was written long before you were born of your world" The lion's hot breath left little swirls of steam in the pure air and I let his words sink into my soul.

"This is the path you spoke of as the choice to stay here for the sacrifice of Eustace was made. Our paths and fates collide." It was a statement more than a question.

I turned my face up to the sky once again, watching the sun sink lower above us, prodding me to head back to Calormen and my wedding.  
>I felt calm as I rose to my feet, climbing onto his back again.<p>

This time it went by much faster and I was looking at the gates of Calormen with suppressed excitement, though equally torn to see Aslan go.

I knelt for a long instant before him, resting my head against his large one. A tear slipped down my cheek, though I wasn't even sure why.

"I love you." I whispered, standing and then walked away, back towards the gates. When I looked back he was already gone.

The guards' eyes fairly fell out of their heads when they saw me entering. I was immediately offered an escort back to the castle and for once, I didn't argue.

They kept up an excited chatter around me and I listened absentmindedly, my mind turning over and over as I tried to figure out what this mysterious 'she' wanted, feeling as if I was reliving this a second time.

She had both good and evil in her. That almost reminded me of James when I'd first met him. So perhaps she wasn't so bad. Maybe she only needed a push, like James had, to make the right decision.

Perhaps.

But nothing is ever that simple.

Shoving that aside my mind conjured up an image of a laughing Caspian, his face made me smile again and the thought of being married tonight put a jump back in my step.

_What on earth am I waiting for anyway? _There would be plenty of time to speculate later. Right now…I needed to get to my wedding!

~X~X~

I don't think I'd ever seen Elle in such a flustered state as when she saw me.

"I was-" I started to explain, feeling guilty for running off for what felt like the hundredth time.

She threw up a hand to stop me. "I don't even want to know. Go on into your bath, I'll be there to wash your hair in a moment."

~X~X~

I smelled of wild strawberries when I stepped into my bedroom, a robe wrapped around my body comfortably.

I did not expect to see my dress lying on my bed.

My mouth fell open in amazement. It glistened with light.

_I'll never doubt Elle's ability again._

It glistened in the little sunlight still shining through my windows. It was so pure white it was almost blinding to look at. It had little gathers of fabric up the back of the flowing skirt, crystal stitching creating even more light to the dress.  
>The bodice was almost simple with rosebuds along the low neckline and continuing to around so it would drape over my shoulders just so with long sheer pieces of fabric to cascade down my forearms.<br>The front of the dress was almost like an upside down V, with at least three different cloths, lighter than the others and glistening with silver tiered up the front. To finish it off the back of the bodice laced up.

Elle found me like that. I hadn't even moved to touch it yet. I could only stare as if the realization of everything had just now come crashing down upon my head.

"Shall we dress you, dear?" Elle inquired gently, pushing me from my trancelike state.

I moved at her words, silent until she had me laced up, then I turned to grasp her hands. "Elle…I don't know how to repay you for this."

She looked at me with kind eyes, before turning me back around slowly to adjust my dress. "You've nothing to repay. You're like my daughter and a mother's greatest wish is to see her child happily married one day. "

I grasped her in a hug, gripping her tightly. She was the only mother I had now and that brought tears to my eyes. "Thank you for being here."

~X~X~

It seemed hours went by and I felt almost sore from being poked, prodded and pulled upon so much. But when I looked into the mirror I knew it had been worth it.

My hair curled gently around my bare shoulders and my silver crown rested atop my head, a symbol of Old and New.

I touched the ring on my finger and brought it to my lips to kiss. For luck perhaps.

"It's time." Thomas' voice spoke quietly from behind so as not to startle me. I turned slowly and his eyes swept over me, a bittersweet tilt to his smile  
>"You look beautiful, Lucy." He caught my hand and kissed it. That dimple in his cheek appeared and I reached to touch his face fondly.<p>

"Thank you for everything, my friend."

"Your wishes are my command." He teased, though in a way, I knew he meant it seriously.

He offered me his arm and I let him lead me downstairs and outside to the courtyard. A hedge of beautiful flowers arced above me, the only thing keeping me from the line of trees outside and…Caspian.

The chill of the air was a shock, but I breathed it in, smiling as I closed my eyes for a moment. I squeezed Thomas' hand tightly, and then released it, turning to walk towards my new life.

Caspian's eyes were filled with joy and relief at seeing me. I took him in, his hair tied back neatly for once. His crisp white shirt hugging his muscles, a deep blue coat over it and sleek black pants with his polished boots. His crown was upon his dark head today as well.

I'd expected nothing less and yet I felt as if I could not breathe.

Each step carried me closer and I was floating. Or that's how it felt anyway.

Hundreds of faces, both familiar and not smiled at me but I saw no one, save him. An eternity later I reached him and he reached to lock his hands with mine, smiling warmly.

"You are perfect." He leaned and kissed my cheek.

My skin flushed with heat the touch. "As are you, Caspian."

"Only because of you." He whispered as the pastor started, which, coincidentally, was Phil. I'd had no idea he would be the one marrying us.

"We are here today not only to bind together a young man and woman in marriage but to create an alliance between the King of our great land and our beloved Queen of Old.  
>We could only have dreamed of such a beautiful and truly kind hearted woman to put up with our King."<p>

Chuckles followed that announcement and Phil winked at me cheerfully.

"Does anyone object to this match?" He called out to complete silence and I felt an excited shriek of excitement rise in my throat.

"Now, there is nothing more beautiful than the love between a man and a woman. I'd ask you to join hands but you're already far ahead of me." Phil grinned, enjoying every moment of torturing me and my suppressed excitement.

"Do you, King Caspian of Narnia promise to love, to protect and honor Queen Lucy of the Eastern Shining Seas for all your days, to enter into this sacred on this day of trust as your equal?"

Caspian looked down into my eyes, a warm brown that threatened to drown me for an eternity as his full lips parted on the words,

"I will love, honor and protect Her Majesty as long as I draw a breath. I enter into this marriage trusting her with my soul, for it has always been hers."

I swallowed, clutching his hands life a lifeline, my legs trembling as Phil looked to me.

"And will Queen Lucy accept the hand of His Majesty, King Caspian to love him, honor him, l stand by him in everything your life together brings? Will you accept the sacred bond of marriage and trust as your equal?"

I bit the inside of my lips before opening my mouth, staring up at the man I'd loved for so long. "I will. I promise to honor him, love him as deeply as I know how and," My lips trembled from the emotion I felt as well as what I recognized in his eyes. "I will do more than stand by him, I will lift him up as I'm able as well. I accept him as my equal, for he is truly my other half."

"Then I am more than pleased to announce you husband and wife. King and Queen of Narnia for as long as you both shall live. You may kiss your lovely Queen."

And it was done. Just like that.

His mouth touched mine in far too brief an embrace.

The crowds cheers engulfed us as we laughed joyously, holding on to each other like we were keeping one another upright.

"Long live King Caspian! Long live Queen Lucy! Once a King or Queen of Narnia, always a King or Queen!"

A majestic roar could be hear, shaking the very ground we stood upon and raising the flesh on my body in awe.

I grinned up at Caspian, feeling like a small child. "Told you he'd be here."

His fingers stroked my cheek carefully. "I never doubted you, my love."

The look in his eyes was so strong that my knees threatened to leave me in a heap at his feet as they trembled, waiting for me to give in, to let it consume me.

I wasn't exactly sure what he read in my expression but his next words, whispered at my ear made me duck my head in embarrassment

"We'll be alone soon enough, Lu." He caught my chin and raised it again, placing a kiss on my forehead teasingly. "You're beautiful when you blush."

Naturally, that made me blush harder.

He was right though, that evening went by faster than I ever thought it would. It was filled with food and dancing and so much laughter that my ached happily hurt from it. Before I knew it we were stepping into a carriage and headed towards a cottage somewhere on the outer edges of Calormen's city, completely opposite of this side.

I had no worries, no fears, or burdens. James and Thomas and everyone else had waves us off, Thomas with the slightest bit of sorrow in his eyes that nearly broke my heart. Edwin and Meliana were both safe finally and with Elle, Dannsair had a nice large, comfortable stall to share with Destrier. James was returning home for a while to see his mother and other family. Thomas would be occupying himself with polishing his swordskills.

And everything else simply returned to normal.

~X~X~

Light flakes of snow swirled about us as we rolled to a gentle stop a long while later and Caspian opened the door, stepping out and then reaching up the help me down.

The carriage rolled away as Caspian and I started towards the cottage. He scooped me up in his arms traditionally and sauntered through the door.

Sitting me down he wasted no time burying his face in my hair. I could feel him inhale deeply as his chest rose against my own.

"I don't know what to say." He whispered. "I'm too happy that we're here."

"I'm the same." I responded, leaning against him bodily as he welcomed me into his arms. He made a hmming sound, sounding distracted as he kissed my neck, nibbling at my skin.

I stretched, closing my eyes at the touch.

"Caspian."

He stopped, looking a bit shamefaced.

"Yes, Lu?'

"I'd like to change, will you give me a moment?"

He nodded and I retreated to the next room, attempting to unlace myself. I squirmed, pulling and tugging at my ties to no avail and finally ventured back into the room with Caspian, cheeks already heated from what I was asking him.

"Can you help me unlace my dress?" _I would swear Elle had planned this._

His lips twitched in a smile, though he looked pleasantly surprised that I wanted his help with this.

I turned around, taking the time to look around our little home for a while. His hands on me were a little too distracting.

A fire burned brightly in the fireplace, a large canopy bed tucked away in the corner, covered in beautifully sheer fabric, tied back right then. Two large trunks sat against the wall opposite the bed and a little kitchen was in another room back of the cottage. The room I'd been attempting to change in was a bedroom, small but sweet.

Caspian's fingers reached my waist and he stopped for a moment. I didn't move, hesitant, curious to see where this night would go. He finally reached up to tug at my gown gently and it fell away from my body in a silky rush of fabric.

I stepped from it, skin hot with embarrassment…and anticipation? I stooped to pick up my gown, placing it across one of the trunks carefully.

I was half way afraid to turn around now. My underclothes felt unbearably thin right then, though somehow stifling to my heated flesh.

I turned anyway to see Caspian sitting on the edge of our bed pulling off his boots. His coat was already gone, leaving him in his white shirt, hanging low on his chest.

I loved seeing him like that.

I crossed the room to sit down beside him, wanting to lean close, but scared to.

Which was ridiculous. I'd never been scared of Caspian.

His arm slipped around me, pulling me to him like he'd read my thoughts. His lips seemed all over my face at once, kissing me softly until his mouth came to mine.

His lips parted mine and I kissed him back, letting my hands rest on his chest. His fingers stroked my back softly, slowly, and I paused to enjoy the sensations that swirled through me that he always caused. Tonight it was stronger though and different. His strong fingers slipped underneath my slip-like garment and he placed his hand to my bare back.

His kiss was intoxicating, his eyes reflected fire in the firelight and… I let that feeling take me, allowed myself to drown in his eyes and revel in his skin against mine. His body pressed to mine as he kissed my neck again, my fingers tangled in his hair… as for once we both gave in.

~X~X~

I woke to his warmth, my head resting next to his, still twined together. I smiled, stroking his hair away from his face and kissed his lips.

His eyes opened sleepily, but he smiled.

"I love you." He murmured, running his fingers along my back.

"And I love you, my King."

We were silent for a while, but my stomach growling is what finally drove me up from the peace I found by his side.

"Do you want something to eat as well?"

He smiled at me again. "I'll get it if you wish, Lu."

I was already moving into the next room, gathering food. I slipped a piece of warm bread into my mouth a little bit later, chewing it slowly, savoring the taste as I poured two cups of sweet cider. I drank deeply of my own.  
>I placed both cups on a tray, moving to put the bread, cheese and meat with it. Simple, but good.<p>

I halted in my bustling around all of a sudden, listening. All was quiet and yet that didn't seem right.

Picking up the tray, I darted back into the next room to see Caspian still lying on our bed, though asleep again. I walked to his side, balancing the tray on one hip so I could use the other hand to wake him.

He didn't move.

"Caspian." My stomach turned over and the tray fell from shaking hands, clattering and splashing hot cider across the floor.

I didn't even acknowledge the sound or mess as I shook Caspian, trying to wake him. My eyes scanned his face for an explanation as my heart pounded out a dangerous rhythm.

I found my answer upon my pillow.

A riddle lay on my pillow. It simply read…

_**The bond that shall not be broken,  
>A fate denied and taken,<br>Eternal slumber on a lover's heart,  
>For the debt of a Queen they must be apart.<br>To live or die lies in the hands of one,  
>A gift must be rewarded for none.<br>A path will be revealed,  
>But only for fate to be healed. <strong>_

An elaborate L decorated the page of otherwise jagged handwriting and I could only look on in disbelief, disgusted.

_How is this happening? _This was the one Aslan spoke of, I had no doubt.

I looked down at the words again. "The bond that shall not be broken." I whispered aloud and then, "What does she _want _from me?!" I screamed into the silence, wondering why this happened now after a perfect day and night. Caspian and I were being torn apart again. _Severed in body, but never in spirit._ I swore to myself.

"What do I do now, Aslan?"

Even as I asked the question I already knew. Now steady hands pulled on warm clothing, pants and a shirt, pulled on boots and wrapped a thick cloak about my shoulders. My knives and cordial were fastened at my belt and I thanked Aslan for whoever had decided to place them in my trunk. Bow and arrows at my back I went to the kitchen to gather a sack of food and slung it across my back as well.

I strode back into the main room and to Caspian's side, leaning over to kiss him on the lips for an instant. I wanted to feel his mouth move against mine again.

"I will be back soon, my King. I will not rest until this is right again."

I covered him with blankets warmly before I turned to make my way out the door and into the snow.

The white wonderland felt to cold and bitter to my heart as I ventured up the hill, towards the road we'd traveled down the night before. I was fully on top before I turned to gaze down at the perfect little picture of our cottage, warm and cozy.

Tears glistened in my eyes, one escaping before I hardened my heart to the emotions that wanted to overrule my mind.

_By Aslan's blood I swear that she will pay and I will not be stopped. _

_**THE END…**_

_**So review and tell me what ya think. ;) How's this ending for you? Remember how I made y'all promise to all review on my last chapter? Well here we are! Anybody feeling a sequel? :D **_

_**Merry Christmas to you all! Thanks for following this story through! It's been amazing to write for such great readers! **_


	25. Hello Everyone!

:)

Hey guys! I know its been forever, but I wanted to let y'all know that I haven't forgotten about this story and I want to write a sequel soon. So sorry for the long wait...I'm just busy with college and other writings that I want to have published. I hope everyone is well and will still read anything I write in the (hopefully) very soon future.

Cheers to Lucian forever! :)


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